I had mixed feelings about tonight’s Big Love season finale. On one hand, it was certainly eventful. There were a lot of twists and turns during this episode that I didn’t see coming. Plus, a lot of questions that had been left unanswered throughout the series were finally resolved, although not necessarily for the better (cough, Tommy and Barb, cough).
On the other hand, watching “End of Days” was a highly unpleasant experience for me. A lot of the scenes and plot points were just plain uncomfortable to watch. When you’ve come to know and care about characters during the course of four seasons, as I have with the Big Love cast, there are some situations you just don’t want to see them in. The episode’s game-changer ending will definitely send the show in an entirely new direction next season. I am just not entirely sure that I like where it is going . . .
So, let’s take a look at where we are going, and where we have been, shall we?
Ding. Dong, J.J.’s Dead!
“I’m MELTING! I’m MELTING!”
One of the questions that was resolved during the season finale was what the heck J.J. was doing to get everybody pregnant. In fact, the J.J. storyline was entirely resolved, because awesome Adaleen set his house on fire, burning that crazy mother-f’er and his wife to a crisp in the process. So, the prospect of J.J. returning to Juniper Creek is highly unlikely. Unless, of course, he comes back from the dead all burned and disfigured a la Freddy Krueger, which I wouldn’t put past him. (They both have that “terrorizing children” thing in common, after all . . .)
“I will haunt your dreams, and force you to carry my creepily deformed babies to term.”
When news breaks that the polygamist compound in Kansas is rife with inbred babies, all signs point to J.J.’s involvement, seeing as he runs things down there. Wanda comes out of her catatonic state long enough to admit that J.J. has inseminated Adaleen with Wanda’s egg (and his own sperm) in order to impregnate her. Wanda just so happens to be J.J.’s biological sister . . .
J.J. then tricks the infertile Nikki into coming to his “doctor” son’s office, in order to impregnate her with an egg belonging to Cara Lynn, Nikki’s own daughter with J.J. I don’t even want to KNOW how he got that egg!
Fortunately, Bill finds Nikki just in time, and rescues her from the clutches of the evil creepy J.J. Then Adaleen ties J.J. and his wife up, douses their home with gasoline, and watches it go KABOOM! Who knew drippy weak-willed Adaleen Grant would turn out to be such a . . .
“Come to think of it, Mary Kay Place could totally pass for an older version of Drew Barrymore. Don’t you think?”
At the conclusion of the episode, Nikki cuts her compound-style braid, and agrees to carry Margene’s non-incestually deformed baby to term for the Henricksons. Ummm, yay . . . I guess?
Margene, Goran, and Anna sitting in a tree . . .
“Come and knock on our door. We’ll be waiting for YOU! When the kisses are HERS, and HERS, and HIS, Three’s Company Too!”
Margene’s storyline this evening would have fit really well into a swinging 70’s era sitcom. For the past few episodes, Margene has been waffling back and forth between her marriage to Barb, Nikki, and Bill, which will result in the inevitable loss of her jewlery business, and her greencard marriage to Goran. When she talks to Anna about it, Margene confesses that she feels guilty about marrying Goran, because she is attracted to him. This attraction makes her feel like a Big Ho-Bag, seeing as Goran is actually in a (committed?) relationship with Anna.
Huh? Where did this “love interest” come from? There was no evidence of Margene’s “attraction” to Goran throughout the entire season. The guy seductively grabs her knee once, and all the sudden she’s in love with him? Wasn’t it only a few episodes ago that she was talking about her romantic feelings for Ben? It just plain didn’t make sense to me . . .
Weirder still was Anna’s response to Margene’s confession. She was totally cool with it. Anna told Margene that she already knew that Goran and Margene had feelings for one another. So, why couldn’t the three of them just be happy together? Is this the same Anna who, just last week, lectured Bill about his hypocritical one man-for-many women ways? Truthfully, I always sensed a bit of a lesbian subtext between Margene and Anna. However, both characters’ actions during this episode seemed inconsistent and unrealistic to me.
“Just imagine all the hijinks we can get into now! Wait until we tell Mr. Roper!”
At the conclusion of this storyline, Goran is seen happily hugging Anna and Margene, while fondling both of their asses. Somewhere up in heaven, Jack Tripper is raising his fist in triumph . . .
“Goran, I salute you!”
Barb and Tommy are Splitsville . . . But what about Barb and Bill?
“I’m going to miss you, and your sexy sweat lodge too!”
I had high hopes for Barb and Tommy at the opening of this episode. She adorably mothered him, by trying to get him to eat a healthy and well-balanced meal, after a stressful day. He confided in her about his family troubles (apparently, Tommy has some bad seed drug dealers in his family). Together, they worried about how Tommy’s screwed up family history may adversely affect the casino. Barb then vowed to help Tommy, promising him that he wouldn’t have to go through this alone. They shared plenty of longing looks, and another sexy hug . . .
Then Bill had to go and screw everything up!
Well, in Bill’s defense, Barb made quite a mess of things herself, by offering the results of Anna’s paternity test, which showed that Bill was the father of her illegitimate child, to a local news network. Barb did this in hopes that doing so would keep Bill from winning the Senate seat that has been slowly tearing their family apart. Then, ostensibly, Bill ratted out and fired Tom and Jerry from the casino, to save face. However, I thought the move had “revenge against Barb” written all over it.
“Wow, this just occurred to me . . . probably because I never remembered the Jerry-character’s name. Why the heck did the writers choose names like these for a pair of characters that would constantly be discussed in the series together, and in this exact order? Seriously!”
Barb apparently thought Bill made a dick move too. And when she FINALLY stuck up for herself, and told Bill, “I don’t think I need you anymore,” I cheered for her.
“You go girl!”
But will she have the guts to leave him now that he is a State Senator? Only time will tell . . .
Don, Don, Don, Don DONNNNNNN!
Yeah, this wasn’t a big part of the show at all. I was just happy to see my favorite sidekick, Don, back on Big Love for the finale, even if it was just to kiss Bill’s ass again. Despite the fact that Big Boss Man ruined Don’s life and turned his kid into a juvenile delinquent (who throws rocks through people’s windows) Don still showed up to watch Bill make his State Senate acceptance speech, and actually seemed HAPPY when Bill won . . .
Build for Bill (more like Demolish for Bill)
Meet Bill Henrickson, the family values Senator from Utah, and his family (Not pictured: illegitamate child, fourth wife, and illegal alien second husband)
Perhaps the most cringeworthy moment of the entire episode came at its conclusion, when Bill won the State Senate seat, and came out as a polygamist. As a bunch of his former supporters stormed out in anger, Bill made matters worse, by calling each of his wives up to the podium with him, singlehandedly destroying their lives along with his own. Although the foursome held hands together at the conclusion of the speech, in a show of solidarity, each wife looked like she would rather be pulled apart by two horses running in opposite directions, than be there with Bill.
And that was it for this season. So, what did you think of the finale? Are you excited for a Season 5 that revolves around Bill as a polygamist Senator? Are you hoping that Barb leaves Bill’s ass for Tom (and Jerry)? Are you hoping Margene leaves Bill’s ass for Anna and Goran? Were you as happy to see Don as I was? Were you as happy to see Marilyn and J.J. GO as I was?