Tag Archives: Home Alone

Happily Ever Asshole – A Recap of Once Upon a Time’s “Shattered Sight”

hell am i

Last week on Once, in the final seconds of the episode, the moment we’d been waiting for all season finally arrived.

The Snow Queen’s wacky plan worked! She broke that mirror. (Seven years bad luck for her!) Then, glass got into the eyes of everyone in Storybrooke and promptly turned them all into a bunch of raving assholes. (Granted, a lot of them were already assholes, but this spell kind of made it like official?)

snowwing brook

Now, Emma and Elsa are in race against time (and assholes) to defeat the Evil Snow Queen and put an end to the Shattered Sight Spell before everybody DIIIIIEEEEEES!

dont trust blondes

No pressure, right?

So put on your safety goggles and get nice and comfortable, because it is ASSHOLE TIME!

You can check out the rest of this recap here.

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Anatomy of the EXTENDED Trailer for Season 2 of The Vampire Diaries! (Includes BRAND NEW Scenes!)

 

Fall 2010 is just around the corner . . .  Are you ready to BITE into the new season?

It’s here!  It’s here!  After months of making us wait, the CW has FINALLY given us Vampire Diaries fans the action-packed, new scene- filled, drool-worthy, trailer WE deserve!  And, from what I’m seeing here, Season 2 will NOT disappoint!  Check it out for yourself .  . .

Let’s analyze, shall we?

:00 – For those of you curious about the song in the trailer, it’s entitled “Make Me Wanna Die.” The song was produced by a band called Pretty Reckless,  which is headlined by none other than Annoying Little J / Jenny Humphrey from Gossip Girl, herself, Taylor Momsen . . .

I almost hate to say it, but she doesn’t sound half bad!

:12 – “It’s YOU!”

This scene gave me the chills!  A few months back, David Anders, who played the sublimely creepy Uncle John Gilbert on the show

(and who just so happens to be Elena’s biological Daddy, along with Mom-from-Hell, Isobel), admitted that he would be back for at least one more episode of Season 2 of The Vampire Diaries.  This confused the crap out of precisely everyone, seeing as HIS CHARACTER was one of the confirmed fatalities in the show’s May 2010 Season Finale, Founders’ Day.

Having the finger containing your Ring of Immortality chopped off your hand, just moments before being staked in the stomach, can do that to a guy . . .

This surprisingly scary trailer scene, in which Elena arrives home to find Uncle / Father John stretched out on her floor, bleeding to death, and calls 911, while her Evil Doppelganger, Vampire Katherine, looks on with menace, may serve to clear some of the aforementioned discrepancies . . .

:17 – This is the face of a hot Vampire who THINKS he has just kissed Elena . . .

Observe the luscious lips, and the equally luscious tongue licking them . . .

 . . . and THIS is the face of the OTHER Hot Vampire who just found out his girlfriend may have cheated on him . . .

We feel your pain, Stefan!

:22 – “Jeremy, please, WAKE UP!”

As if finding her Bio-Dad bleeding to death on her kitchen floor wasn’t BAD enough, just moments later, Elena finds her little brother Jeremy unconscious, after a potentially fatal sleeping pill overdose.  What she DOESN’T know, is that before taking those pills, Jeremy ALSO ingested a nice dollop of HIS now-dead, dead, girlfriend, Vampire Anna’s blood . . .

So the question remains, is Jeremy Gilbert dead . . . or undead?

: 24 – There’s a full moon in Mystic Falls tonight . . .

And we ALL KNOW what happens during a full moon to folks like Tyler Lockwood, right?

:32 – “We haven’t officially met.  I’m Katherine.”

Apparently, it isn’t a Vampire / Witch Party, until somebody gets strangled . . .

:39 – Foreplay, anyone?

KATHERINE: “Wanna play with me?”

STEFAN:  “How do I play, if I don’t know the rules?

KATHERINE: No rules, Stefan.

(This scene made me feel all tingly inside.  Is it weird that I think Vampire Katherine may have more on-screen chemistry with Stefan, than Elena does?)

:47 – Double the Damon, double the fun?

Man, does he look angsty and broody in this screenshot!  Mommy LIKE!

:49 – This next scene requires no explanation whatsoever, except for the following, “OMFG!”

1:02 – “Wanna know why I’m here, Stefan.  I came back for you.”

This scene is a bit of a rehash from the one we saw in The Vampire Diaries “The Return” trailer released exclusively at this year’s Comic Con.  But that doesn’t make what Vampire Katherine says in the scene any less shocking, the second time around . . .

1:04 – “Kiss me or kill me.  What will it be?”

How about kiss her, THAN kill her, Damon?  Who says you can’t have your cake, and eat it too?

1:11 – “She will try to break us.  How we respond to that will define us.”

Salvatore and Salvatore!  Reunited and it feels SO good!

1:13 –

Question fellow fangbangers:  Does vampire-on-vampire sex lead to vampire babies?

It looks like Season 2 of The Vampire Diaries will definitely be The Year . . .

“The Ex-Games are about to begin.” And, I don’t know about you, but I, for one, CAN’T WAIT!

The Vampire Diaries premieres Thursday, September 9th at 8 p.m. on the CW.  Will YOU see it?  Wait . . . why am I even asking?  OF COURSE YOU WILL!

[www.juliekushner.com]

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Filed under Spoilers and Sneak Peaks, The Vampire Diaries

July 4th Movie Quote Contest (a.k.a. The post my lazy butt came up with at the last minute, because I drank too much on July 4th)

Have you ever noticed how there is nothing AT ALL to watch on television during the entire July 4th weekend?  Case in point:  Earlier this evening, I was flipping through channels in search of decent programming.  The viewing selection on my small screen was SO bad, that I actually watched an infomercial . . . on a motor scooter for the elderly . . . for a full half hour.  It was only 10 p.m.

Four glasses of wine in my belly, and I was actually about to purchase this . . . another two glasses, and I would have bought a spare one for my pet cat.

But you know what DOESN’T suck during July 4th weekend?  MOVIES!

July 4th weekend is a time when film production companies tend to release their highest budget films, in hopes of scoring big at the box office, and, thereby, achieving that much coveted “blockbuster” status.  It is also a time when television networks tend to air some of Hollywood’s most successful blockbusters, during prime time hours.  Networks tend to do this because (1) why bother putting out new content, when everyone is too sunburned and beer-logged to watch it; and (2) the few people who ARE watching are so happy to find something decent on television to watch and so very drunk, they won’t care at all that it’s a movie they have already seen 25 times.

For this reason and because I have had too much to drink to be genuinely creative, I have decided to run a little informal contest / game here at TV Recappers Anonymous.  The winner gets . . . well . . . to be honest, the winner gets nothing, because I don’t have anything to give him or her.

However, having a contest win of any kind under your belt WILL provide you with massive “street cred” on the blogosphere, not to mention something to brag about at all your upcoming July 4th parties!

OK . . . Here’s how the game works.  Got a pen and paper handy?

Good!

I’m going to show you a YouTube video featuring 100 famous movie quotes.  As you watch the video, jot down as many movies and quote-uttering actors as you recognize.  Then, tally up your points.  You get one point for each movie you correctly identify, and one point for each actor. 

And remember NO CHEATING!  If I hear later from your friends that you paused this video and started trolling around IMDB for the answers, I am going to find out your home address, and personally mail this to it . . .

Don’t think I won’t do it, either! 

If you’d like, feel free to comment here on how many points out of the possible 200 you received.  If not, don’t worry, I won’t be insulted . . .

 .  . . well, maybe I’ll be a little insulted.  But I’ll get over it.

This would actually be a pretty cool game to play with your friends on July 4th, assuming the party you are attending is extremely lame.  Additionally, I’m pretty sure there is a way to turn this into a drinking game.  I just haven’t quite figured out how to do it yet.  (Your suggestions in that regard, of course, are welcome too.)

So, without further adieu, here are 100 famous movie quotes in under four minutes . . . Good luck!

(At some point, I MIGHT add a comment to this post that includes the “answers” to this game.  Until then, you are on the honor system.  And remember, I’ll be WATCHING YOU!)

 Happy July 4th, everyone!

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Whatever Happened to TV Theme Songs?

Remember back in the olden days, when television shows had catchy theme songs, and opening sequences, typically featuring pictures of cast members and scenes from the show?  Whatever happened to those?   When was it exactly that television programmers decided that theme songs were “dorky” — that cast pictures and opening credits were just plain unnecessary?  Perhaps, it happened around the same time that producers made this  . . .

Call me out of touch, but I, for one, miss my TV Theme Songs.  After all,  “jingles” were the soundtrack to my childhood and adolescence.  The opening sequences that accompanied them allowed me the few precious moments I needed to get revved up for my favorite shows.  (Not to mention, they allowed me to drool over adorable close-ups of whatever actor I happened to be crushing on at the time.) 

This is why today, I would like to pay homage to the theme songs and opening sequences that made me the TV Recapper I am today.  These opening sequences that I am about to show you will probably be as close as I will ever come to writing an autobiography.  My list begins with the first two television programs that I recall watching, back when I was still in diapers, and runs all the way through to present day.  (Don’t worry, I only chose ten shows . . .)

So, without further adieu:  My Life as a Series of Television Theme Songs . . .

Sesame Street

For most of us, this was probably the first television show (and theme song) to which we were exposed.  I’m pretty sure my mom was already making me watch Sesame Street, when I was still in her womb.  And even though I haven’t watched the show in . . . well  . . . a LONG time, its theme song still gets my toes tapping, and its colorful opening sequence still brings a smile to my face.

(Unfortunately, I couldn’t find an opening sequence on YouTube that corresponded to a time when I was actually watching this show.  All the available examples either aired too early, or too late for Baby Me.   Plus, apparently, Sesame Street changes their opener ALL THE TIME!  Fortunately, the song always stays pretty much the same.  And the  above opener came closest to how I remembered the sequence, i.e. MORE pictures of puppets and LESS of random kids that I don’t know, or care, about . . . So you can get the basic idea.)

Fraggle Rock

I have very vivid memories of this HBO show. (Can you believe HBO used to air children’s programming at night?  Things SURE have changed . . . )  The extent to which I remember this show is strange considering that, based on the time frame during which it aired, I had to have been more or less a toddler when I was watching it.  I distinctly remember, however, that its characters were awesome!  Let’s see . . . there was Red, the sporty tomboy Fraggle,

Mokey, the artsy-fartsy, hippie-dippy Fraggle,

oh . . . and that other Fraggle that talked, acted, and sort of looked like Woody Allen.

Then there were the DOOZERS, blue collar workaholics that were ACTUALLY BLUE!

And, let’s not forget Fraggle Rock had one of the most kickass opening sequences of ALL TIME!

Full House

This is one of those shows that, back when I was a kid, I thought was AWESOME.  However, now, sometimes, I watch it in reruns, and wonder what I was smoking back then  . . .  Yet, back in the day, Full House was part of TGIF, ABC’s kid-friendly Friday night lineup.  And everyone who was anyone (and who didn’t have a sleepover party to attend that weekend) was watching. 

D.J. Tanner was the big sister I never had, but wish I did.  Little Me wanted to be just like her when I grew up, (or, rather, merely aged a few years).  I even had my room decorated the way her character did on the show (same bed sheets)!  Apparently, I would have been one stalkerish little sister . . .  It’s probably a good thing that I was an only child.   

Home Improvement

Honestly, I shouldn’t even be including this one, because the theme song had NO WORDS, and, actually, was kind of lame.  However, Home Improvement was a very important show for me, because it marked my ascent into womanhood.  After all, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, the middle child on the show, was my FIRST EVER television crush!

In fact, this very picture, which was probably cut out of some Teen Bop magazine from the early 90s, hung on my childhood bedroom closet door for an embarrassingly long time.  Just in case, you were curious, my first movie crush was Macauley Culkin from Home Alone.

It seems kind of creepy for me to be saying these things now.  But, rest assured, these were both age appropriate crushes for me at the time . . .

Fresh Prince of Bel Air

A rapping, super cheesily dressed, teenage Will Smith?  How could I NOT include this opening sequence in my list?

Friends

After listening to this theme song EVERY Thursday night for TEN YEARS, I can’t even hear the first few bars of “I’ll Be There for You” anymore, without wanting to slit my wrists.  But there was a time, not too long ago, when I LOVED the song, and LOVED the show!  Honestly, who DIDN’T want to be one of the Friends?  They were all just SO COOL!  (Well . . . except for, maybe, Ross.)

Dawson’s Creek

Ahhhh . . . Dawson’s Creek.  My lifelong obsession with Pacey Witter and his gal pal, Joey Potter began with just a few simple words, belted out by Paula Cole, “I don’t wanna wait!”   (Sadly, I own, and still, on occasion, watch, the DVD’s for the ENTIRE series.)  Oh, and by the way, just a note for The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity: here’s living proof that you DID NOT invent “shaky cam.”

The O.C.

The O.C. has been off the air for a few years now, but I am still going through a bit of withdrawal.  Benjamin McKenzie’s Ryan Atwood was the ULTIMATE brooding bad boy (and pretty easy on the eyes too, I might add).

Oh, and Seth and Summer? They gave hope to EVERY nerd out there who ever had dreams of dating the prom queen.

Plus, the show’s opening sequence, put a modern spin on a musical classic . . .  What could be better?

Veronica Mars

Adorably snarky teen super sleuth?  CHECK!  Twisty turny and surprisingly dark seasonal mysteries (and slightly less twisty and dark episodic mysteries)?  CHECK!  Super sexy, mildly mutually abusive, “LoVE” / Hate relationship between two hot twenty-somethings playing teens? CHECK!  Catchy, yet ultra hip, theme song and title sequence featuring The Dandy Warhols?  TRIPLE CHECK!

True Blood

Well, folks, we have traveled long and far (20 some odd years, to be exact), but we have finally made it back to present day.  And, like I said, for the most part, theme songs and opening sequences have, sadly, become a thing of the past.  But fear not, because all hope is not lost . . .

While it does not technically fit the opening sequence mold (no pictures of the cast are shown here), True Blood’s “Bad Things” title sequence is everything a slightly raunchy, often funny, and fangtastic show about vampires, and other assorted supernatural creatures from the South, should be . . .

So, there you have it — my life summed up in ten television theme songs . . . Something tells me the next generation won’t be able to write a blog entry like this one . . .

[P.S.  Did I forget to include YOUR favorite TV Theme Song in this list?  If so, maybe I caught it in the sequel to this post, which features 10 more awesome TV Theme Songs.  You can find that post here.]

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Filed under 80s television, 90s television, music, television, TV theme songs