I have to say, the Glee producers took a decidedly big risk in choosing the theme for this week’s show.
For one thing, The Rocky Horror Picture Show itself is an “acquired taste.” It’s got its fans. It’s got its haters. And it’s got a good portion of Glee’s fanbase, who have never seen it at all . . .
The show is also pretty raunchy. (All the characters that aren’t actually “doing it” on-screen, are impliedly getting busy off of it.)
Did I mention that the fans of the show are SERIOUSLY hard core? You mess with what made them fall in love with this show, and they will make you live to regret it! (I mean, these guys throw toast at people . . . for fun.)
Hopefully, they don’t throw the Grilled Cheesus . . .
All that being said, I think Glee did an admirable, if slightly imperfect, tribute to a musical classic this week. And for that, they deserve a round of applause . . .
And . . . let’s face it . . . the multitude of Half-Naked Dudes didn’t hurt either . . .
Did you ever notice, how the writers of Glee find an excuse to show Chord Overstreet more or less naked in EVERY SINGLE EPISODE? Not that we’re complaining . . .
Let’s “Time Warp” back to the beginning of the episode, shall we?
School Musical = Foreplay?
Someone should really instruct the federal government to watch this week’s episode of Glee. After all, it includes within it, the solution to ALL of the nation’s healthcare problems! I mean, who the heck needs medicine at all, when you’ve got Uncle Jesse from Full House catering to your physical, emotional, and psychological needs?
Having already raised TWO Olsen twins, there’s nothing this guy can’t do . . .
Well, at least, this is what Will’s lunch meeting with Emma suggests. Just a few dates with Uncle Jesse Carl, and our OCD Poster Child, now, not only no longer needs to cut the crusts off her sandwiches, or wear plastic bags on her hands in public, she also apparently enjoys “playing dress up” and watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show, amidst a filthy theater of costumed “Toast Throwers!”
Emma shows Will how to do the “Time Warp” . . . again.
This marked change in Emma inspires Will to do something daring: namely, use his students to try lure Emma back into his arms (and, hopefully, his bed).
. . . because using kids to get sex . . . well . . . THAT’s not creepy at all . . .
So, that afternoon, Will informs his Glee kids that they will be performing The Rocky Horror Picture Show for their school musical production. The proceeds from the show will be used to break Puck out of juvie (come back, Puck, COME BACK!) fund the club’s trip to the National Glee Club Competition in New York City!
In “brilliantly creative” and “not-at-all stereotypical” casting news, Will wants Finn and Rachel to play the dorky male and female leads, Brad and Janet;
He also wants Artie to play . . . wait for it . . . the Guy in the Wheelchair . . .
Will also hopes that Kurt will play the Very Flamboyant and Sexually Ambiguous Villain, Dr. Frankenfurter . . .
Unfortunately, Kurt is totally not down with dressing in drag (He ends up being cast as a surprisingly convincing Riff Raff.)
And so, who offers to take the part, but . . .
Woah! Color me impressed! It looks like Uncle Jesse Dr. Carl has not only cured Emma of OCD, he has also broke Tina’s Dancing “Hot Patootie” of a Boyfriend out of his chronic, nearly mute, Glee Club laziness . . .
I am already picturing those abs encased in a tight leather leotard . . . Mmmmm!
Oh and Puck Sam will play the Hot Brainless Robot, who everybody desperately wants to screw, Rocky “The Creature.”
If You Can Dream It, Be It, Buddy . . .
With all those “innovative casting decisions” behind him, Will hands the club permission slips, to be signed by their parents, and sends them on their way. And with that, Will’s dastardly plans to steal Emma from Uncle Jesse, have officially been set in motion . . .
“I have no idea what’s going on in this script. And, not in a cool, Inception way,” remarks Finn, as he and Rachel run through their lines, as Brad and Janet.
“Oh come on! The Leo character was TOTALLY dreaming! How else would you explain his kids not aging or changing their clothes for 10 years?”
Things get even more confusing, when Rachel informs Finn that he will be performing the scene on stage in his underwear. (This just became like every bad dream, I have ever had . . .)
“I can’t be on stage in my Tighty Whities,” squeaks Finn.
Wait . . . Finn wears Tighty Whities? In my dreams, I always kind of pictured him as a Boxer Guy . . .
Immediately recognizing that her boyfriend suffers from “Body Issues,” Rachel comforts him by telling him that he is the “Hottest Boy in School.”
Hottest Boy in School . . . Third Hottest Boy in Glee Club . . . same difference, right?
As Sue Sees It . . .
Honestly, I would watch my local news SO MUCH MORE OFTEN, if it contained a segment like Sue’s Corner. These little segments never fail to make me giggle like a school girl when I watch them. “Halloween is a time when Little Boys to dress like Little Girls; Little Girls dress like Whores; and [both] brow beat hard working American families into giving them food,” she begins.
“We’ve lost the true meaning of Halloween . . . FEAR.”
Be afraid. Be VERY afraid . . .
Sue concludes the segment, by advising Mommies to tell their kids that Daddy is a “Brain-Eating Zombie” who just whispered to Mommy that the kids “look delicious.”
After the segment, Sue is visited in her office by two guys that look like insurance claim adjusters, but are actually Barry Bostwick and Meatloaf. (These guys played Brad and Eddie, respectively, in the original Rocky Horror Picture Show movie).
Apparently, Bostwick and Meatloaf also head up the Local News. They inform Sue that they are aware that her high school’s Glee club will be putting on a very controversial Rocky Horror performance at the school. Therefore, they would like her to write a “hard-hitting” news piece on the subject . . .
And so, with a Local Emmy on her mind and evil in her heart, Sue approaches Will about helping him out with the play.
Will responds by reluctantly asking her to play the Criminologist in the production. How fitting!
Sue’s “assistance” comes in handy, almost immediately. When Mike Chang’s parents tell their child they are “so not cool” with him wearing makeup and playing a tranny in the school play, Sue commandeers Uncle Jesse to help out . . .
Yes, because having a 40-something year old leather clad man seduce teenagers on stage is not inappropriate or creepy at ALL!
A skeptical (not to mention insanely jealous) Will insists that Carl audition before getting the role. Apparently, Dr. Carl isn’t just an expert in cleaning teeth and curing OCD, the dude can also SING AND DANCE. Using his signature Jesse and the Rippers’ style, Dr. Carl performs a rousing interpretation of Rocky Horror’s “Hot Patootie,” (sung by Meatloaf, in the original production) while joyfully spinning his girlfriend Emma around the classroom.
“I am SO screwed!”
A very huffy Will remarks that, since Carl will be playing Dr. Frankenfurter, he should have to audition with one of his songs. But Carl staunchly refuses to cross dress. And so, he will play “Eddie” instead.
But who will play Dr. Frankenfurter?
“I’ll do it Mr. Schue,” remarks Mercedes.
Recalling the “if you can dream it, be it,” line from the show, Mercedes explains that she has always wanted to play the lead in a school play, and playing Dr. Frankenfurter would give her the perfect opportunity. YOU GO, GIRL!
In the next scene, we get to watch Mercedes perform Dr. Frankenfurter’s iconic “Sweet Transvestite” dressed in full Frankenfurter garb. I must admit, I was a bit skeptical at first of a women playing the part of a male crossdresser. However, I must say that her interpretation of the song was pretty ingenious.
The songs new “PG” lyrics, however, left a bit to be desired. “Sin-sational Pennsylvania?” Come ON, writers! What exactly made it acceptable to use the word “transvestite,” but NOT the word “transsexual.”
Speaking of Prudes . . .
After the rehearsal, Will confronts Emma (who he has hired on as the show’s Sex Toy Costume Designer) about how wrong Carl is for the role of Eddie. The conversation evolves into a discussion about Sam, and how uncomfortable he is in the barely-there tight gold undies he is forced to wear as Rocky. Will’s solution. “I can play Rocky!”
Riiiiiiiight, because a 30-something half-naked man being seduced by a bunch of half-naked teenagers is not inappropriate or creepy at all!
Emma, who’s clearly a moron agrees with Will that his playing Rocky would be an “amazing” idea! And so, Will asks her to rehearse Rocky’s main musical number “Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me” with him.
While Santana and Brittany watch excitedly from a nearby window . . .
. . . (assuming the voyeuristic roles Magenta and Columbia had in the original show), Will and Emma begin to perform the musical number.
Emma, for her part, gets “very” into the role of the newly sexually-awakened Janet . . .
When Emma is not ripping Will’s shirt off with her bare hands, or writhing on the desk like a Sex Kitten in Heat, she’s humping Will’s leg like a Happy Dog! But when the song ends . . . well, that’s when the sparks really fly!
I really hope they don’t expect Rachel to do THAT!
Body Confidence, Part 2
Meanwhile Finn, still VERY concerned about his shirtless stage debut, is obsessively working out in the school gym, with Sam and Artie. The usually confident Sam now finds himself feeling a bit insecure, having had his shirtless scene ripped away from him by, none other than his OWN teacher! Finn wonders whether his shirtless part will be taken from him as well.
“Nah, the Brad part is all about being cool with being uncool. It’s about having confidence in your body, regardless of what it looks like,” explains Sam.
For whatever reason, this inspires Finn to walk around school naked.
Not that we’re complaining!
Principal Figgins, of course, wants to suspend Finn from school for “making half the student body need therapy.” However, Will convinces Figgins to let Finn off the hook. “Your reasons for doing this play are murky at best,” notes Figgins.
(Murky? Nah! Everyone knows that Getting the Teacher Laid is the true reason behind ALL high school musicals . . .)
Things go from bad to worse, when Carl interrupts a dress rehearsal, to call Will out for trying to steal Emma away from him.
And things go from WORSE to . . . WORSER(?), when Finn finds the footage Sue filmed for the local news, which exposes the Glee club’s performance of The Rocky Horror Picture Show as an “abomination,” one which crosses the lines of human decency.
To Will’s horror, he realizes SUE IS RIGHT!
He has been using the Glee Club members as pawns in his Sick Sad Sex Games! When Will confronts Sue, the pair engage in a surprisingly serious conversation about teens’ exposure to sexuality. Will argues that his students are already exposed, so why not allow them to embrace it through art? Sue replies that, as educators, they have a responsibility to protect students from those parts of life that are “Rated NC-17,” even if they can only do so within the four walls of the high school.
Then Will does something REALLY crazy. He . . . agrees with Sue.
WOW! This show IS scary!
Will decides to cancel the show. Of course, this was precisely what the fame-seeking Sue didn’t want. This leaves her screaming after Will that she “needs her local Emmy,” as he exits stage left . . . OOPS!
“Love can make you do crazy (and really creepy) things.”
Later, Will approaches Emma, and apologizes to her for having such a hot bod and making her rip his clothes off, even though she’s technically still dating the guy from Full House manipulating her emotions. “You know, I only did this to get close to you. I guess love can make you do some crazy things,” Will begins.
“I promise not to abuse our feelings for eachother anymore . . . Carl is making you better . . . So, if I really love you, I need to back off and acknowledge that being with him, for now, is what’s best for you.”
But, is it really? Emma didn’t look so sure, at the end of this scene . . .
Let’s Do the Time Warp AGAIN!
At the end of the episode, Will apologizes to his students, especially Sam and Finn for being a Creepy Lecher making them feel uncomfortable — and for putting on the show, for all the wrong reasons. After all, Rocky Horror Picture Show isn’t really about running around half naked and screwing everybody (well . . . actually . . . it kind of is). It’s about outcasts coming together and rejoicing in that which makes them different!
“In that way The Rocky Horror Picture Show is the perfect show for this club,” concluded Will.
“So, why aren’t we performing it?” Santana inquires rationally.
“We are. We just aren’t going to perform it for an audience,” Will replies.
Well . . . that’s kind of lame!
The last scene of the episode features the Glee Kids, in Rocky Horro- themed — but substantially less revealing — clothes, performing the show’s iconic dance number, The Time Warp.
Fun-filled, and care-free, this was probably my favorite musical number of the whole episode (Schuester’s awesome abdominal muscles in “Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me,” notwithstanding).
I just kind of wish it all . . . you know . . . amounted to something more.
While I enjoyed (despite being slighly skeeved out by) Will’s kind-of/ sort-of romantic play for Emma’s heart, I feel like it may have overshadowed the overall theme of the episode a bit. For example, it would have been nice to have a few more scenes, during which the kids actually performed scenes from the show, even if those scenes had to be neutered to meet Fox’s newfound puritanical standards.
(I mean, COME ON! This was the network that brought us The O.C., a show where characters said and DID things that were WAY more sexually suggestive than the words “transsexual” and “heavy petting.”)
Need I say more?
On a positive note, the musical numbers this week were a lot of fun! You can hear a taste of all of them here:
Did I mention, PUCK IS BACK NEXT WEEK?
See you then!