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Battle of the Bad Boy Vampires: Damon Salvatore (The Vampire Diaries) versus Eric Northman (True Blood)

Those of you who know me and/or have read this blog before, probably suspected that the time would come when I would write a post that pit my two favorite television vampires (both of whom are based on characters fromnovels) against one another . . .

But WAIT!  Before you stake me, or snap my neck like a twig, please know that this is REALLY not a competition, in the traditional sense of the term.  I merely aim to illustrate some similarities between these two extremely unique and dynamic fangsters . . .

(But, before I begin, I’d like to give a shout out to the Always Brilliant Amy, over at imaginarymen, who remains the reigning queen and founder of the TV Boyfriend Olympics.  Without her, this post would never have been written.  Additional thanks go out to the Fabulous Cherie, over at myspideysenseistingling, and the Remarkable Madeleine, both of whom have a depth of vampiric fangirl capacity that knows no bounds.)

Above all else, Viking Vampire, Eric Northman, and Fangy Rebel Without a Cause, Damon Salvatore, are both EXTREMELY SEXY!  In fact, they are unequivocally sexy, no matter what they happen to be doing, at any given moment.  Whether they are . . .

 .  . . preparing for war . . .

 . . . or lounging around in bed . . .

. . . or driving around in hot super expensive sports cars, with the top down . . .

 . . . or having a little “snack” . . .

 . . . or forgetting how to button their shirts . . .

 . . . or getting dressed up for a night on the town . . .

 . . . or breaking in their new leather jackets . . .

. . . or wearing certain BLUE PANTY DROPPER articles of clothing 😉 . . .

 . . . rest assured these immortal beings are going to be looking hot, while they are doing it.

And yet, being an INSANELY AWESOME Television Vampires isn’t just about looking good.  (That’s most of it . . . of course . . . but not all of it. ;)) To be truly insanely awesome, you’ve also got to have the personality to match the looks.    And for both Eric and Damon, a fun and snarky sense of humor functions as the perfect accessory to any item of clothing (or, no clothing at all, for that matter)!

Behold . . . the funny .  . .

(Don’t worry!  I’m not playing favorites, by using a longer video for Eric than for Damon.  I just take them, as I find them!)

So, now we’ve got a handle on their looks, and their respective senses of humor.  But if you want to learn what REALLY make Damon Salvatore and Eric Northman tick, you’ve really got to watch them in action.  What follows is a comparison study of fourteen (seven a piece) arguably similar Damon and Eric scenes from their respective shows .  . .

(Note: For clips that are non-embedded, just click the internal links for your viewing pleasure!)

Let’s BITE into it, shall we?

Romantic Manipulation

In the REAL WORLD, when you look like Ian Somerhalder or Alexander Skarsgard, NO fancy hypnotic magic, or blood bonds are necessary to ensure romance.  When you want to get laid . . . all you’ve got to do is ASK!  But in TV Land, virtually EVERYONE is beautiful, and girls can be (no offense to Elena and Sookie) kind of dense, sometimes.  For this reason, both of our Bad Boy Vamps, at least initially, used vampire magic to add a little OOMPH to their respective courtship rituals .  . . with varying results.

First up is Damon, and his attempt to mesmerize Elena — the number one object of his affections — to make out with him.  The “mesmerizing” part seems to work . . . (She’s not BLIND, after all!).  But the “making out” part . . . well . . . not so much.  Because what Damon doesn’t know is that Elena is wearing a vervain necklace, which makes her impervious to vampire mind control.  He gets an “A” for effort, though!

Eric Northman had slightly better luck with Sookie, when he tricked her into drinking his blood, thereby establishing a Blood Bond between the pair.  As a result of the Blood Bond, Sookie will have uncontrolled sexual dreams about Eric (I have those ALL THE TIME!).  He will also always be able to sense her feelings (like, when she’s horny, for example ;)), and instinctively know when she’s in danger (so he can rescue her).  Well played, Viking Vamp!

 

Dream Walking (a.k.a. Inception – Vampire Style)

So, by now, we’ve all probably seen, or at least heard about the film, Inception, and its erudite discussions about one’s ability to manipulate the dreams of another. 

In TVD world, vampires are capable of controlling other’s dreams, Inception style, as Damon does in this next clip.  (Hint: We know it was Damon making Elena’s dream, based on his creepy crow mascot hanging out by her bedroom window, near the end of the scene.  By the way, I’m SO GLAD the writers nixed that lame plot device!)

In True Blood, sexual vampire dreams tend to stem from the blood bonds between human and vampire.  Never do the writers of True Blood ever explicitly mention dream manipulation.  And yet, in this next clip, Sookie clearly KNOWS that she’s dreaming, and Eric does appear to be purposefully using the dream to send her an important message.  This particular dream scene may also give you a little sense of deja vu, when you watch a similar REAL LIFE (well . . . real TV life . . . at least) scene that takes place between the two characters, later on in this post.

(Note:  This is actually just one of THREE dreams Sookie has about Eric, and it’s not even the HOTTEST one.  I simply chose it to make a point about Damon and Eric both using Dream Manipulation Tactics on Sookie and Elena.  You can watch Sookie’s other dreams about Eric here.)

 

Murder By Seduction

Of course, Damon and Eric would never WILLINGLY hurt the women they love.  But they don’t seem to mind hurting others all that much . . .

In this next clip, Damon lures the unsuspecting Vicki Donovan into his lair, plies her with liquor, sexy dancing, and promises of genuine understanding and affection.  And then . . . well . . . I’ll just let you watch, and see for yourselves.

Though Damon’s motives for “murdering” Vicki Donovan were never made entirely clear, during the series, one suspects they had something to do with Damon wanting to wreak havoc on his little brother’s life.  (Damon promised to make Stefan’s life an unliving hell, after the latter coerced him into becoming a vampire, seemingly against his will).  Damon eventually “revived” Vicki from death, by turning her into a vampire, shortly after initially killing her.  Ironically enough, it was at the hands of STEFAN that Vicki met her True Death.

This picture SHOULDN’T be funny . . .  but it kind of is!

Likewise, Eric seduces and ultimately murders Vampire Talbot, to wreak havoc on Vampire King Russell Edgington’s life.  Eric seeks vengeance against Russell, for murdering his parents, centuries ago.  You see, Talbot is Russell’s “soulmate.”  Though, as you will clearly see in the next clip, vampires and monogamy don’t exactly mix . . .

(Note:  This clip is DIRTY with a capital “D.”  Parental discretion is advised, KIDDIES!  Don’t say I didn’t warn you!)

 

Hot Bod Taunting

“When you’ve got it, flaunt it!”  These are words to live by . . . even if you’re undead!  And Damon and Eric have NO qualms about displaying their “wares” to the women they love, in order to show them EXACTLY what they are missing . . .

In this next scene, Damon might be drunk, but he’s NO dummy!  He knows that, once Elena gets close enough to him to button up his strategically opened shirt, she will get a peek at those abs, a whiff of that vampire man musk, and be his forever.  Even if she doesn’t know it yet . . .

As for Eric, he takes Hot Bod Taunting to a whole other level!  Unlike Damon, who tactfully alludes to the fact that he’s a Lion in the Sack, Eric wears his HOURS and HOURS of nonstop Sexual Conquesting like a badge of honor . . . one located right below his belly button . . .

 

Vulnerability Due to Loss of “Maker”

Damon may be head over heels in love with Elena now, but for about 140 years, he loved her doppelganger Katherine, the woman who initially turned him into a vampire.  Damon loved Katherine so much, in fact that he risked everything to “rescue” her from the tomb in which he thought she was buried undead.  So, when the tomb was opened, and Katherine was still nowhere to be found, Damon was heartbroken.  It was the first time in the series, where we really saw this tough-as-nails vampire break down emotionally.  And when he needed a shoulder to cry on, Elena’s was the first one he sought . . .

Unlike Damon, Eric may have never done the horizontal mambo with his maker, Godric (at least, not that we know of).  But he did love him, in the way that a father loves his son.  And when Godric “met the sun” (i.e. committed suicide by burning to death) Eric felt completely lost.  For the first time in the series, the Viking Vamp cried tears of blood.  Eric was inconsolate over the True Death of Godric.  Without Sookie there to support him, who knows what self-destructive acts he might have committed?

Romantic Gestures with BITE!

Who said bloodsuckers couldn’t be romantic?  Let’s face it! When guys have been on this earth for as long as Damon and Eric have been, they KNOW when they are in love.  And they are NOT afraid to show it.

In the episode Rose, Damon has just rescued Elena from an Evil Old Vampire who kidnapped her.  He also retrieved from said Evil Old Vampire her precious vervain necklace, which protects her from vampiric compulsion.  When Damon visits to Elena’s home to return the necklace, he decides that this is the perfect moment to let Elena know exactly how he feels about her. 

Sounds simple, right?  It isn’t . . . Because Damon knows better than anyone, that True Love sometimes requires us to make the most painful of sacrifices.

Eric Northman knows a thing or two about sacrifices, himself!  After all, he’s willing to DIE the True Death, in order to rid the world of the PURE EVIL that is Russell Edgington.   When you are about to die, the things that are most important to you, suddenly become crystal clear.  And nothing else matters. 

Remember when I showed you that Dream Scene between Sookie and Eric?  Well . . . IT’S BACK . . . for real, this time!

Rescuing the Woman He Loves . . . For Her OWN GOOD . . . Whether She Wants It Or NOT!

As a member of the fairer sex, I can admit, that us ladies can be pretty stubborn when we want to be — especially when we feel strong enough about something, that we are willing to fight to the death for it.  And while, most of the time, we are ABSOLUTELY right . . . there are sometimes (very rarely, of course ;)) when we are wrong.  Enter the Hot Vampires with Hero Complexes to rescue us . . . even if they have to drag us away, kicking and screaming, in order to do it . . .

In this next clip, Elena has set off on a Suicide Mission.  She plans to turn herself over to an EVIL HOMICIDAL VAMPIRE, in order to save the lives of the people she loves.  But Damon loves HER . . . and he’s not having it . . . AT ALL!

Like Elena Gilbert, Sookie Stackhouse always seems to be throwing herself into harms way.  But she doesn’t have to go far from home to find trouble.  It usually just knocks on the door, and comes right in!  In this particular instance, Sookie is unwittingly being stalked by some Killer Werewolves.  It’s a good thing her Friendly Neighborhood Vampire  is available to help her in her time of need (even if she would rather talk about Boring Vampire Beeeel, than do important things . . . like NOT GET EATEN)!

So, there you have it: seven situations and fourteen sexy scenes to compare and contrast.  Not bad, for a pair of undead bloodsuckers, right?

[www.juliekushner.com]

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Filed under Alexander Skarsgard, Ian Somerhalder, The Vampire Diaries, True Blood

Everybody Wants Sookie (or should I say . . . SOOKEH!) – A Recap of True Blood’s “Beautifully Broken”

Well, would you look at that?  It’s a gay vampire riding in on a white horse to “save the day!”  (Insert sexual euphemism and/or cheesy pun here.)

Did I miss something?  Did Valentine’s Day come early this year?  Because there sure was a lot of LOVE in this episode.  And I’m not just talking sex either.  (Sadly, there was none of that.) 

I’m talking about that real mushy gushy stuff.  The kind of “stuff” that would make you drop someone’s favorite beverage at their doorstep a few minutes before dawn (Hoyt and Jessica); or write a list about why you’d be a good father to their kids (Terry and Arlene – He passed anger management and tamed an armadillo); or babysit a drunk (Andy and Jason); or save a person’s life (Lafayette and Tara); or feel “disturbingly human.” (Sookie and Eric)

So, what you do you say, we get this  lovefest started?

Things That Go Growl In The Night . . .

“Mmmm, Eric, your breath smells refreshingly minty.  What toothpaste do you use?

“AB – Negative.”

When we last left our good pal Sookie, her and Vampire Jessica were “feeling” Bill.  Their “feelings” let them to a crashed car, with a werewolf corpse inside.  Operation Werewolf markings were on both the body and vehicle.   Despite having little luck previously, Sookie, armed with new intel, decided to take another shot at asking Vampire Eric for help in finding her Bill (or should I say “Beaaal” like she says it).  At Fangtasia, Sookie tells Eric about the whole werewolf thing, and initially, he seems unimpressed.  “Your obsession with Bill Compton is going to get you killed,” he says matter-of-factly.

But then Sookie, wisely, does the same thing I do whenever I get pulled over by a cop for suspected speeding (not that it happens often, mind you) . . . She cries!

Oh no!  Not like THAT!  That’s real crying!  Ugly crying!  That NEVER works . . .

Ahh . . . much better!  Good form, Sookie!

Although his facial expression never changes, you can tell that Eric, in his own sexy vampiric way, is highly moved by Sookie’s tears.  “Please don’t do that,” he says without affect, “It makes me feel disturbingly . . . human.”

WOO HOO!  Sookie and Eric sitting in a tree,  K-I-S-S . . .Sorry, got a little carried away for a moment there.  I’m back now . . .  

Dejected, Sookie leaves Fangtasia with a final plea to Eric that he help her find Bill.  At first, it seems as though Eric has no intention of helping Sookie.  Once she is out of sight, he crumbles up the paper she gave him with werewolf intel, and tosses it aside.  But then . . . suddenly, he’s in Germany, in a Nazi uniform, and guess who’s there?

It’s GODRIC!  He’s ALIVE!  I mean . . . DEAD . . . I mean .  . . undead?

Actually, the answer is none of the above.  Godric (played by Allan Hyde) is still very dead-dead, which means this is a World War II flashback.  Apparently (as Eric explains to Sookie later), Operation Werewolf had some sort of connection to the Nazis back in the day, but they, like the vampires, were around long before that. 

In the flashback, a she-wolf eats an American solider.  Eric and Godric come upon her, and Eric attacks the she-wolf.  She claims they are on the “same side.”  Eric disagrees.  (Nice to know my lover isn’t a real Nazi.  That would have been a bit of a turnoff, I think .  . .) 

Like the “Operation” Werewolves in present day, She-Wolf seems a bit hopped up on vampire blood.  She begs Eric for a drink.  And, although Godric cautions against it, Eric complies.  But then She-Wolfs goes apesh*t, and Vampire Eric has to finish her off.  Godric doesn’t like that at all, and he gives Eric a real judgy look.  Parents . . . they’re no fun at all . . .

Later, Jason comes over to Sookie’s house to play.  She tells him how much she misses Bill, and the way he says “Sookeh!”  (Great impression, by the way!  Way to go Anna P!  Bet you and Mr. Moyer were practicing that one in bed!)  She then tells him about the existence of werewolves.  He’s thrilled!  “Does that mean Bigfoot is real too?  SANTA?!”  He asks, excitedly.

 Awww!  Jason!!  Sweet, hot, dim-witted Jason!  I already saw this scene in the promos for the show.  But it still made me giggle and squeal like a little school girl the second time around!

When Sookie arrives at work, she finds herself stalked by a real creepy looking werewolf.  But he disappears before she can get a good look at his ugly mug.  That night, ANOTHER werewolf breaks into Sookie house.  Fortunately, Eric comes to the RESCUE!

There were a ton of great scenes in this episode, but I’m pretty sure this second Sookie / Eric scene of the evening was my favorite, for obvious reasons.  Eric arrives at Sookie’s door and inquires after the intruder.  He then tells her that he lied to her earlier, and comes clean about the whole “Operation Werewolf ” thing.  “Why are you telling me this now?”  Sookie asks.

“Because circumstances have changed . . . I have no interest in rescuing Bill.  In fact, it would be advantageous to me if he were never to return.  However, now they are coming after you .  . . and I . . .”  Eric hesitates, unsure of the proper words.  (He seems almost . . . disturbingly human.)

” . . . my objective was to protect you from danger, not increase it.  Your life is to valuable to throw away,” he finally concludes.

“What do you want me to do?”  Sookie whispers.

“I want you to invite me in, so that I can protect you, and have passionate, primal sex with you.  Hopefully both.”

Sookie seems taken aback by his request, a bit angered by his boldness, and more than a little turned on by the sexual proposition (REMEMBER “stamina” is Eric’s middle name). 

A much stronger woman than I am (You had me at primal sex, Eric!), Sookie insists she still belongs to Bill.  Eric concedes that is true.  They talk a bit about the difficulties of Sookie’s relationship with Bill. 

Suddenly, Eric gets up in Sookie’s face and demands he be invited in.  Sookie begins to argue again, but notes the new insistence in his voice, and ultimately invites him inside.  At that same  moment, a werewolf enters the home, braced for attack. 

Eric bares his fangs, and Sookie grabs her gun and shoots, just as the werewolf begins to pounce . . .

Andy and Jason = BFFs Forever

 Cutest couple EVER!

While Sookie and Eric are battling werewolves and flirting shamelessly with one another, another adorable twosome is navigating the waters of a new and beautiful friendship.  If you recall, Andy has taken the rap for shooting Eggs, even though Jason ACTUALLY shot him, in order to protect his big cuddly loverboy, Andy. 

But now, Andy is being hailed as a hero, an Jason is a bit jealous.  The elder Stackhouse copes with his feelings just like everyone else in this town seems to  . . . by getting wasted, of course!

“I keep trying to be good and do the right thing,” slurs Jason.  “But I always end up doing the wrong thing.”

Andy doesn’t know exactly how to respond to this sudden drunken show of emotion by his bromantic buddy.  So, he does what any good boyfriend would do in this situation, he compliments his pal’s good looks.  “You’re prettier than most girls!”  Andy offers optimistically!

You can say THAT again!  Andy!

But Andy doesn’t say it again.  Instead, he tells Jason that he could do anything he puts his (admittedly small) mind to, as long as he applies himself.  Andy then drags a drunken Jason along with him to a nearby trailer park called “Hot Shot,” where some guy named Calvin Norris is suspected of having a meth lab.  While Andy is attempting to chase down the suspect, Jason comes across one of the few girls out there, who may actually be just as pretty as Jason, himself . . .

Jason tries to talk to Miss Pretty (Lindsay Pulpisher, playing the new upcoming role of Crystal Norris), but she runs away before he can get many words in.  This gives Jason just enough time to tackle Calvin Norris for Andy and save the day!  We knew Andy was right about Jason being pretty.  But, it looks like he was also right about that whole “applying himself” thing.  Who knew?

Vampire Jessica Makes Bill a Grandpa!

 

“Crap!  I’m a mom!  But, how can that be?  I thought I was supposed to be a Virgin for all eternity!  Is this like Divine Conception, or something?”

Vampire Jessica is a bit distracted.  You see, she ate this guy, and fed him her blood.  And now he’s rotting  and decaying, and stinking up her coffin, not to mention her “dad’s” entire house.  So, it’s understandable that she’s not exactly in the mood for nookie.  So, when Hoyt arrives at her home, with a six pack of her favorite brand of True Blood, in hopes of reconciling, she’s a bit less than friendly.

To Hoyt’s credit, he gives this really great heartfelt speech to Vampire Jess, about how he understands why she tried to eat his mother, and how the two of them can fight their flawed natures together.  Vampire Jess is clearly moved by the speech.  But she’s so horrified by the heinous murder she committed, and embarrassed by her stinky home, that she pushes Hoyt away.  And I felt so bad for the poor guy, I literally almost cried. 

Convinced that her “victim” is “Dead-Dead,” Vampire Jessica begins to make plans for his proper disposal, even going as far as to rent a chainsaw to hack up Dead Guy’s body parts (Mmmmm, yummy!)  However, when she returns to the basement that evening, the body is GONE!

Lafayette and Tara Meet Mysterious Men / Decide Life is Worth Living . . .

Surprising precisely NO ONE, Lafayette rescues Tara from her half-hearted pill-swallowing suicide attempt.  Hoping to keep her from trying to off herself again, Lafayette takes Tara to a surprisingly classy mental hospital where Lafayette’s (extremely sharp and witty for a crazy gal) mom is currently residing . . .

Lafayette’s mom (Alfre Woodard) tells Lafayette that he was “killed” when he came out as being gay.  He claims Tara was “killed” too.  “Almost,” replies Tara, quite truthfully. 

Neither Lafayette nor Tara say much to Mommy.  After all, Lafayette didn’t really want to see her, he just wanted to use her to teach Tara a lesson.   Namely, don’t go nuts like my mom, or I’ll lock YOU away too!  Lafayette DOES exchange quite a few words with this guy, however . . .

 . . . his mother’s caretaker, Jesus (played by Kevin Alejandro).

No, no . . . not that one. (It’s pronounced Hay-soos.)

And based on the close talking and lascivious looks these two were giving one another, you just KNOW they are going to hooking up sometime real soon!  It’s HIGH TIME our boy Lafayette got some loving!  After all, he hasn’t had Vampire Eric’s blood in a while, and he REALLY needs something new to dance about . . .

Back at Merlotte’s, a mysterious vampire approaches the bar.  In hopes of making small talk, Tara tells him that she wants to kill herself.  (Very nice, Tara!   What a conversationalist you are!  It’s a real wonder you’re still single!)  Fortunately, for Tara (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), the new vampire dude . . .

 . . . who we know from promos is Franklin Mott (played by James Frain), is unperturbed by Tara’s admission.  In fact, he’s so unperturbed, that later that night, he holds some drunk dudes upright while Tara kicks the crap out of them for fun.  Ahhh . . . young love! 

The Family That Shifts Together, Stays Together . . .

 

“Oh, don’t worry!  This is how we greet ALL of our long lost relatives, down in Hickville!”

After being held at gunpoint by a man who ends up being his biological brother, Tommy (Marshall Allman), Sam is led inside a shabby home.  There, he reunites with his worse-for-wear mother and father.  As it turns out, both Mommy and Tommy Merlotte (well . . . Mickens, actually) are shifters, like Sam, while his father is “normal.” 

Sam’s Mommy cries a bit (but the tears are no where near as pretty as Sookie’s, and therefore, are less, effective) about how she didn’t mean to give up Sam and blah, blah, blah . . .  Sam’s a bit resentful about being put out to pasture to fend for himself as a child, but remains remarkably polite to his trashy bio parents.

The same cannot be said for Sam’s brother, Tommy, who instantly resents him for intruding on his “happy family.”

But then, suddenly (almost TOO suddenly), Tommy wants to make friends.  His olive branch of peace?  “Let’s go for a run,” offers Tommy.

Sam immediately takes off his shirt, and I get excited . . .

But then he turns into a dog . . .

Oh well . . . can’t win em all!

Tommy turns into a dog too.  But he’s this weird funny looking bull dog thing . . . not cute at all.  While the two are out running, a car conveniently swerves into their path. 

 “Miraculously” Tommy has enough foresight to turn into a bird and fly away before the car can hit him.  Sam fares slightly less well, rolling out of the way, just moments before becoming road kill.  The bad news is, his brother clearly tried to kill him.  The good news is, Sam wound up naked in the bushes, as a result.  SO HOT!

Who Knew There Were So Many Good Recipes You Could Make with Blood?

And lastly, we have Vampire Bill and his bloody journey to Mississippi.  It looks like Alan Ball has heard our complaints.  He seems to be totally intent on making Bill Compton more interesting this season. 

 Last week, Bon Temps’ Dullest Vamp starred in that hot gay dream with Sam.  This week, he BIT OFF SOME DUDE’S EAR!  (Now, that’s not very “Southern Gentleman” like, now is it?)  Upon finding Vampire Bill looking like an extra in a zombie movie, Big Gay Vampire King Russell Edgington (Denis O’ Hare) . . .

 

 . . . lectures head werewolf Coot (Grant Bowler) on letting his men feed on Vampire Bill.   He then disposes of the remaining werewolves (aside from Coot).   Finally, in yet another homoerotic scene that would not seem at all out of place on the cover of a romance novel, Russell invites Vampire Bill aboard his massive white steed . . .

Russell brings Vampire Bill back to his bedroom his mansion.  It is there that Bill is introduced to Talbot (played by Theo Alexander), Russell’s lover, as well as home decorater, in-house chef, and host extraordinaire. 

I haven’t known this character long, but already I ADORE him!  In sheer queenishness, Talbot could give Lafayette a real run for his money.  Here’s hoping Talbot ditches old fogey Edgington, and heads to Bon Temp for some Lafayette-flavored loving SUPER soon! 

While Bill and Russell talk business in a way that is polite, while still filled with thinly veiled threats, Talbot regales them with a four course meal that includes, blood sherbert, blood soup, the blood of some Thai boy, and blood from a woman who eats nothing but Tangerines.  Take that lame True Blood bottles from Merlotte’s!

Russell meanwhile has a proposition for Vampire Bill.  If Bill spills the information he has on Queen Sophie Anne, Russell will give him the position of Sheriff of Area 2.  Apparently, Russell would like to marry Sophie Anne, in order to increase the size of his dominion.  He believes that having some blackmail material under his belt, might help him to persuade her to enter into the union.  Bill claims he has no information on Sophie Ann.  However, Russell begs to differ. 

Russell insinuates that Bill initially traveled to Bon Temps on orders from Sophie Anne.  We later learn that Russell has hired someone to search Bill’s home back in Bon Temps.  There, the searcher finds a drawer full of personal information about Sookie. 

Could Bill have seduced Sookie solely on Sophie Anne’s request?  Is there whole relationship a LIE?  If such a development means Sookie will dump Bill’s ass and run straight into Eric’s arms, I say, BRING IT ON, BABY!

When Bill fails to respond to Russell’s insinuations, the Big Gay Vampire King resorts to threatening Sookie’s life (by sending werewolves to her home perhaps?).  That’s when Bill gets angry!  It’s also when his maker Lorena magically appears . . .

And Bill responds by doing what fans of the show have wanted him to do to Lorena since she first appeared . . .

He throws a lamp at her head and SETS THE B*TCH ON FIRE!

Dammit, Bill Compton!  Stop making me like you so much!

That’s all I’ve got folks.  All in all, it was a stellar second episode, in my opinion.  Quick-moving, well-plotted, and jam packed with sexually tense Sookie and Eric goodness — exactly how I like my True Blood!

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Filed under True Blood

True Blood Season 3: Anatomy of an AWESOME New Promo!

I’m with you, Lafayette!  That’s how I felt, after I watched this video TOO!

If you’re a True Blood fan, and you’ve stopped by this blog, during the past few weeks or so, you know that I have been getting particular joy out of “leaking” the Drop of True Blood minisodes, on here, about a week before they air live on HBO.  What you DON’T know, is that I have also been trolling YouTube for solid promos for the show’s upcoming third season.  Unfortunately, the ones I’d been finding, up to this point, had been a bit, forgive the expression, “bloodless,” lasting, on average, about 35 seconds, and showing little more than a teasing scene or two. 

So, you can imagine how THRILLED I was, when I was randomly flipping channels this evening, and, entirely by accident, came across this gem . . .

(Special thanks go out to TrueBloodItalia for posting this, allowing embedding, and, basically, making my night!)

Color me impressed!  HBO gave us A LOT to work with here, especially considering that the season premiere is still about three weeks away.

Let’s analyze, shall we?

:5 – We open with a far away shot of an unidentified shirtless man.  I’m going to take a shot in the dark here, and guess that it’s Vampire Bill.   As Shakira once said, “The pects don’t lie.”  Or, was it hips?  I don’t know.  It was definitely something about a hot body part telling the truth . . .

:14 – Eric to Sookie:  “You’re so blinded by your obsession with Bill Compton, that you are going to get yourself killed.”

Translation: “I love you, Sookie!  Toss that Old Dead Windbag to the curb and give a tall Viking Vampire some hot lovin’!”

OK, maybe that translation was a bit of a stretch.  But I’m a Sookie / Eric Shipper all the way!  And I was HIGHLY satisfied with all the screen time that these two had together in this trailer!  I mean, you have to LOVE Eric Northman.  He’s cocky!  He’s confident!  He does that seductive “eye thing,” when he’s trying to infuriate / seduce Sookie . . .

In short, he reminds me VERY MUCH, of another television vampire that I adore . . .

:16 – Eric to Sookie:  “You’re life is too valuable to be thrown away!”  (OK.  I didn’t even HAVE to translate that one.  It was Eric/Sookie Shipper Friendly, all on its OWN!)

:21 – Here, we get our first shot of new True Blood character, Franklin Mott, played by James Frain . . .

The casting call sheet described him as an “older vampire and love interest for Tara” . . .

That description is consistent with a character of the same name, who appears in the third book of the Southern Vampire Mysteries, Club Dead, on which this season’s True Blood is purportedly based.  However, based on the few scenes I have seen involving this character, my impression is that the show will offer a darker interpretation of Franklin Mott than the one depicted in the book.  The scenes between him and Tara, seem less like love and more like rape / torture.   Tara, honey, I love you, but you have some BAD taste in men and friends (cough, Maryanne from Season 2, cough)!

:22 – Case in point, that was some UNSEXY sex, if you ask me!

:23 – Don’t you hate it when you’re in some backwoods town, and some dirty hillbilly puts a huge shotgun in your face?  Because it happens to me ALL THE TIME . . .

WOW!  Does that screencap look 3D, or what? 

:25 – 27 –  It looks like this little scene was our introduction to two more new True Blood characters, namely Sam’s little brother, Tommy Merlotte, played by Marshall Allman .  . .

 .  . . and Mommy Merlotte, played by J. Smith Cameron . . .

These two DIRTY-UP nicely, don’t they?  Who knew levelheaded Sam had such Trailer Park Trashy roots? 

:33 – This is what happens when Baby Vampire’s Makers go away!  It makes Good Vamps go Bad!  (Isn’t that the name of a Cobra Starship song?)

:34 – Ahhh, Pam!  Same trademark Laura Bush-style wardrobe, same snarky attitude.  Kudos to the producers for wising up and FINALLY making Kristin Bauer a series regular . . .

:37 –  Eric to Sookie: “Invite me in!”

Ooh, la la!  Close talking!  Intense looks!  He’s trying to rescue her from WEREWOLVES!  My Relation-Shipper senses are all a-tingly!

:50 –  This exchange between Sookie and her brother Eric?  Comedic Gold!  Just look how EXCITED Jason gets, when faced with the possibility that Santa might actually be real  . . .

I heart Ryan Kwanten!

: 57 – WOAH!  Who’s that slut rubbing up on Vampire Bill?

:59 – OK, boys, this is a classic example of what NOT to do when kissing a girl!  Check out Tara’s look of utter revulsion, if you don’t believe me . . .

1:06 – Welcome back, Andy Bellefleur!  Have you lost weight?

More Andy and Jason antics in Season 3  = EVEN MORE COMEDIC GOLD!

1:14 – Eric to Sookie:  “You’re no good to Bill or to me, if you’re dead.”  (Alexander Skarsgard looks good, even when his mouth is caked with nasty blood and guts.  Now THAT’S the mark of a REAL MAN!) 

1:19 – Here’s our first shot of Joe Manganiello, as Werewolf Alcide Herveaux.

Did you notice how he totally looked Sookie up and down, as he said “Eric Northman sent me to look after you.”  (Sheesh, is there ANY man on this show who DOESN’T want Sookie . . . aside from her brother, of course ?)  It looks like these two will be headed on a road trip to Jackson, Mississippi to “collect Bill.”  And we all KNOW that naughty things have a tendency to happen on ROAD TRIPS . . . 😉

1:23 – Holy, Biker Bar, Batman!  Did I accidentally flip over to Sons of Anarchy on FX, and not realize it?

1:31 – Meet Big Gay Vampire King of Mississipi, Russel Edgington, played by Denis O’Hare.  Observe the most unattractive facial expression on the planet . . .

1:32  – Awwww, puppy!

Come on, those CGI graphics are WAY TOO CUTE to be a werewolf!

1:37 – Here’s a shot of Bad Ass Werewolf Biker Dude, Coot, played by Grant Bowler . . .

Nice abs!

1:39 – Speaking of abs, Vampire Bill .  . . have you been working out?

1:41 – Stop, Drop, And ROLL, Random Burning Man!

1:42 – Do I really need to explain my inclusion of this picture into this post?  I didn’t think so . . .

1:43 – This picture goes out to my new blog pal, Buddy, who says I ONLY show Shirtless Men pictures on My Blog . . .

I’m pretty sure this is ANOTHER dream sequence .  . . The question is:  Is it Sookie’s dream, or Eric’s, or BOTH?

1:47  – Speaking of “Santa,” I’m pretty sure Christmas came early this year.  After all, I was able to get a screencap of THIS blink-and-you’ll-miss-it shot from the promo!

1:48 – Four out of five dentists recommend flossing, at least once a day . . .

Vampire Bill just ate the fifth dentist . . .

1:55 – Bill to Sookie: “Do not try to find me.  I do not wish to be found!”  (Bill, sweetie, with men like Eric and Alcide on her side, why would she even WANT to find you?  Be careful what you wish for, Mr. Compton . . .)

There you have it,  the True Blood extended promo in a nutshell.  Lots of new characters and werewolves, a TON of shirtlessness (both male and female), a boatload of sex, some blood, and MORE than a handful of Sookie and Eric moments, to boot . . . What could be bad?

True Blood premieres Sunday, June 13th at 9 p.m. on HBO,  be there or . . .  well .  . . having seen THIS trailer . . . do you REALLY need any MORE reasons to watch?

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