Tag Archives: Jimmy Kimmel

True Blood Minisode 5 – Vampire Bill has a new “Lady Friend” . . .

Happy Tuesday, Fangbangers!  Guess what?  It’s time for yet another installment of HBO’s Drop of True Blood minisode series!  (Just in case you didn’t figure that out from reading the title to this post .  . .)  This minisode stars none-other-than Bon Temps very own, recently kidnapped, Vampire Bill! 

 “Oh wow!”  You say. 

“Is he OK?”  You wonder. 

“Where are they keeping him?   Is he being tortured?”  You cry out, in anguish.

Unfortunately, I don’t know the answer to ANY of these questions.  And watching this clip won’t exactly help YOU to answer them either.  After all, this “mini” takes place in Vampire Bill’s house.  And, in it, he’s just hanging out in his bathrobe, looking happy as a clam.  

(Why do people always say that?   Happy as a clam .  .  . Do YOU know any happy clams?  Because if I was a clam, I think I’d be pretty friggin miserable ALL THE TIME .  . . but that’s just me.)

But enough about clams . . . . back to the clip.  It pretty obviously takes place before the Season 2 finale.   Seeing as, during that episode, SOMEONE  . . . you know . . .  bound up Vampire Bill, gagged him, and dragged him away . . . presumably never to be seen until Season 3 AGAIN!

I’m thinking that — like the Sookie, Tara, and Lafayette scene that I posted here a few weeks ago — this minisode is yet another example of a  “deleted scene” from Season 2.  In it, a strange woman arrives at Vampire Bill’s home, late at night.  And she has something HE wants . . .  The question is, how far is he willing to go, to get it?  You’ll just have to watch and see . . .

Thanks again to ShirtlessLocke, for allowing clip embedding!

OK . . . OK . . . I’ll admit it.  My post title,  my intro picture, and pretty much everything I wrote here, up until I embedded the YouTube clip, were all a bit misleading.  But honestly, I don’t think ANYONE would have clicked on the link to this post, if I called it “Vampire Bill Scams a Cheap Engagement Ring Off Some Old Horny Broad.”  Can you blame me for trying to spice things up a bit?

Now, those of you who have read my previous True Blood posts, already know that I have a tendency to be a bit down on our Fangy Friend, Mister Bill, here . . .

Now, don’t get me wrong!  It’s not that I don’t like Vampire Bill!  I DO!  It’s just that he’s not . . .  this guy . . .

 . . . or this guy . . .

 . . . or THESE guys . . .

 . . . who, despite being on an ENTIRELY different show, still manage to surpass our pal, Bill, in the hot brooding vampire department.

That being said, major props to Stephen Moyer for inserting a nice bit of humor into this scene, and making Vampire Bill just a bit more likeable.  Having watched this clip, I think we all gained a bit more insight into what truly makes Vampire Bill tick . . . 

For example, we learned that he is FABULOUS bargain hunter!  Bill Compton would be a great guy to bring along with you, if you were . . . say . . . heading to your local flea market (assuming, of course, that your “local flea market” keeps night hours . . .). 

“Hey, would someone close the shades, please!  I’m starting to decay . . .”

In this “important” scene, Bill also proved himself to be a loyal lover to Sookie. 

 Then again, I’d probably be a bit more impressed with his manly “restraint,” had his temptress not borne such a resemblance to my best friend’s grandmother . . .

Now Granny, I meant that in the nicest way possible!  There’s no need to get all riled up!  Did you forget to take your meds again?

Tune in next week for the FINAL minisode of the Drop of True Blood Series.  After that  . . . Next stop SEASON 3!

Heck!  Even Josh Holloway is excited!  And this isn’t even HIS show!

Just in case you’ve missed any of the True Blood goodies previously posted on this site, you can catch the extended promo for Season 3 of True Blood here.  (Don’t forget to read the comment section.  There, my blogging buddy, Lola (of Lovely Entropy fame),  posted a FABULOUS True Blood sneak peak, one that will allow you to get a glimpse of what Vampire Eric looks like, after having endured SIX HOURS of nonstop sex!

Here’s a hint of what you might see . . .

Once you’re done drooling over that, feel free to check out past minisodes, by clicking . . .

Here (Minisode 4 – Starring Sam);

Here (Minisode 3 – Starring Sookie, Tara, and Lafayette);

Here (Minisode 2 – Starring Vampire Jessica);

and Here (Minisode 1 – Starring Vampires Eric and Pam).

True Blood Season 3 premieres on June 13th, at 9 p.m. on HBO.  Be there!  Or Vampire Bill will make you wear his ugly robe FOR ALL ETERNITY!

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Lost: A Show About Science or A Show About Faith? – Thoughts on the END of Lost’s Series Finale “The End”

Last night, I wrote a blog entry, in which I discussed some of the lighter aspects of Lost‘s generally feel-good Series Finale, “The End.”  In it, I, more or less, completely refrained from discussing the show’s controversial ending, and promised to tackle that issue exclusively in another post.  Well, I’M BAAACK . . .

One Man of Science.  One Man of Faith.  The Island wasn’t big enough for both of them . . .  or was it?

In the last season of Lost, there was much talk and broohaha about this image, and all the ideas it represents . . .

Light versus Dark.  Black versus White.  Good versus Evil.  Heaven versus Hell.  And while that dichotomy was certainly central to the battle between Jacob and the Man in Black . . .

 . . . our Losties, for the most part, resided somewhere in between.  Much like the rest of us non-television characters, their morality was covered in shades of grey.   For them (and for us), the REAL battle for control of Lost island was one that was a lot less clear cut, making it a lot less certain who we should root for.  And, ultimately,  it was this battle, that took center stage during the final half of the Season finale. (After they, you know, got rid of that pesky Black Smoke thing  . . .)

Jack v. Locke – The Man of Science versus The Man of Faith

Although Lost undoubtedly featured many characters and their respective stories of redemption, at its core were the journeys of two men.  When we first meet Jack Shepard, he is the quintessential Man of Science.  He’s a surgeon, and about as left-brained as a person can get.  There is not a creative or artistic bone in this man’s body.  So, understandably, when it comes to matters of faith or destiny, he’s a complete Doubting Thomas.  For him, if an explanation doesn’t appear in a medical reference book, it just plain doesn’t exist.

John Locke, on the other hand, is a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants, Man of Faith, guy.  He’s Mister “Nobody tells me what I can and can’t do.”  A guy who sees absolutely nothing wrong with signing up for a “walkabout,” despite being completely incapable of “walking about.”  Upon crashing on the island, he suddenly regains use of his legs, and, thereafter, becomes convinced that the Island is his Destiny.  He is absolutely certain that some higher power has brought him to the Island; and that he is, therefore, meant to remain and do great things there . . .

For the first Four Seasons of Lost, pretty much up until Locke’s “death,” we watched these two men battle it out with one another, arguing for the righteousness of their respective ideologies.  Neither man would budge an inch with respect to his position.  However, upon REAL Locke’s death, at the end of Season 4, things change for Jack Shepard.  During the last two seasons of the show,  Jack slowly evolved from a Man of Science into a Man of Faith. 

First, after escaping the Island as part of the Oceanic Six, he returns to it, believing he is meant to rescue the others who remained thereon.  In Season 6, when the Losties are once again ready to escape the island, this time on a boat, Jack jumps ship, convinced that the island “isn’t done with [him] yet.  Then, in the penultimate episode of the show, Jack LITERALLY drinks Jacob’s Kool Aid, and agrees to remain on the island, throwing away his promising surgical career in order to “protect” what, for all intents and purposes, was a Giant Lightbulb . . .

Scientific Answers versus Mystical Answers  – The SHOW About Science versus The SHOW About Faith

When it really came down to it, I think Lost‘s journey as a show, was similar to Jack’s journey, as a character.  Lost started out as a Show About Science (Science Fiction, perhaps, but, science, nonetheless).  In the show’s early seasons, many of the Island’s mysteries were explained through quasi-scientific means.  Flight 815 was initially thought to have been brought down, as a result of the Island’s unique electromagnetic properties, which were inherent to the Island’s location, but were also exacerbated by a Hydrogen Bomb buried beneath its surface . . .  These electromagnetic qualities also allowed the Island itself, and its inhabitants, to move freely through the time/space barrier and . . .  basically . . . time travel.

Those all important numbers, which Hurley chose in order to win the lottery, and which Desmond was forced to repeatedly punch into a computer screen to prevent the Island’s destruction . . .

Were part of the Valenzetti Equation, derived by members of the Dharma Initiative, to determine the exact point in time at which all human life would cease to exist.  The Dharma initiative itself was, more or less, a scientific research group, which took advanage of the island’s unique electromagnetic properties in order to experiment with various facets of human life, from a woman’s ability to give birth . . .

 . . . to psychology, subliminal messaging, and mind control . . .

Then, Season 6 came around, and like Jack Shepard, Lost had to go and get all “Faith-y” on us.  Island mysteries, like “why the plane crashed,” which had once been explained by science, were now explained as being part of the “Master Plan,” in a battle between the God-like Jacob . . .

 . . . and the Devil-like Man in Black . . .

 . . . for control of the Island, and, by extension, the souls of its inhabitants . . .

Supernatural, and biblical-type reasoning was now used to explain Island mysteries such as why MIB couldn’t escape the Island, why Richard Alpert wouldn’t age . . .

 . . . why Jacob and MIB couldn’t kill one another, how Locke became Flocke . . .

 . . . and who Adam and Eve were . . .

The Last Ten Minutes of the Finale Episode of Lost – Flash Sideways of Science (Time Travel) versus Flash Sideways of Faith (Purgatory)

So, I guess, it shouldn’t really have surprised me (but it DID!), that the final Lost mystery, the reason behind the Flash Sideways, ended up being a faith-based reason (preparation for the afterlife / purgatory) . . .

 . . . as opposed to a science-based reason (an alternate universe created as a result of Juliet’s detonation of the hydrogen bomb at the end of Season 5).

And, I have to say, that the fact that this promo picture, released just before Season 6 began, didn’t give the religious implications of the finale away to me, makes me more than a bit mad at myself . . .

I guess, when it really comes down to it, how you felt about Lost’s final moments (MULTITUDE of unanswered questions notwithstanding), really comes down to which side of the Man of Science / Man of Faith debate YOU fall under.  Me, personally?  I’m a bit more of a “science” girl.  So, I was a little disappointed that the Flash Sideways World did not, in fact, end up being the hydrogen bomb-created alternate universe I had initially envisioned. 

Plus, Flash Sideways World just seemed so PERFECT!   And because I’d truly grown to love these characters, having spent six years with them, I really wanted this world to exist FOR THEM!  Because, without it . . .

Ji Yeon would REALLY be an orphan . . .

David Shepard would COMPLETELY cease to exist . . . Oh, and most of the Losties would already be DEAD!

 . . . including THIS GUY!

But, putting my personal feelings aside, the fact that the Flash Sideways World ended up being purgatory makes sense, BECAUSE everything was so perfect there.  In essence, Flash Sideways World gave our main Losties the oppportunity to redeem themselves from wrongs they felt they had committed during their actual lifetimes .  . .

Jack Shepard had a bad relationship with his father, who degraded his worth constantly, and always chose his work over him, so in Flash Sideways World Purgatory he was a supportive and understanding father to his son . . .

During his lifetime, Sawyer was a con artist, who shunned justice.  So, in purgatory, he was a detective, who fought hard to protect it.

Sorry! I know technically I should have found a “cop uniform” pic of Sawyer, but I just couldn’t help myself . . .

On the island, Kate unknowingly abandoned Claire, and ended up raising her child, Aaron.  But in Purgatory, she guides Claire through the birthing process, and allows her to raise her own baby . . . And, as for Claire, she gets to keep her kid, and not become a skanky haired wackadoo.  YAY!

In the real world, Sayid’s murderous lifestyle resulted in the death of the love of his life, Nadia.

In Purgatory, he lets his brother marry Nadia instead, and, in doing so, probably spares her life.

In the real world, Desmond loved Penny Widmore, but her father’s disapproval of him kept the two of them apart.  In Purgatory, Desmond works for Charles Widmore, and has gained his utmost trust and respect . . .

In Purgatory, Hurley isn’t a loveable loser who won the lottery and STILL can’t accomplish anything.  He’s a loveable WINNER, who get’s the girl and is rich enough to employ the ENTIRE CAST OF LOST!

Purgatory Ben is a kindly history teacher who saves Alex’s future, by sacrificing his own personal success to ensure her entrance into an Ivy League college, instead of . . . you know . . . GETTING HER KILLED!  And Purgatory Locke is a pretty nice guy too, and Ben’s BFF to boot!

And, as I mentioned before, Jin and Sun, actually get to raise their kid Purgatory World.  Plus, they successfully ditch Sun’s Asshat Dad.

Matthew Fox probably explained the whole “purgatory thing”  best, in his post-finale interview with Jimmy Kimmel, when he said something to the effect of: “There’s a school of thought that, after you die, you go to a sort of ‘waiting place’ in which you encounter everyone who was important in your life.  Once you have reunited with, and reconciled with, these people, you can truly accept your own mortality and . . . move on.”  (And you just KNOW Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse fed him those words, because Matthew Fox may be smart, but not THAT smart!)

I’ll have to admit that when Christian Shepard (and if THAT’S not a “Man of Faith” name, I don’t know what is) . . .

 . . . . appeared in that Non-Denominational (or, rather, ALL Denominational) Church / Temple, OUTSIDE of his own coffin, and replied to Jack’s question of “How did you get here?  Aren’t you dead?” with . . .

 “How did YOU get here?”  . . .

I screamed at the television . . .

“YOU PROMISED THEY WEREN’T DEAD THIS WHOLE TIME, J.J. ABRAMS!  YOU LIAR!  I JUST WASTED SIX YEARS OF MY LIFE FOR YOU!”

But then, when Christian explained that, “Everything that happened on the Island was real . . . Everyone dies eventually . . . Some of these people died before you, some long after you .  . .” I calmed down a bit . . .

And in the penultimate scene of the show, when Jack stumbles out from the cave, lays down on the ground next to doggie Vincent, watches his fellow Losties successfully escape the Island on a plane, and, subsequently, CLOSES his eyes in death, just as he had opened them so many times during the LIFE of the show, I thought to myself, “What an appropriate ending . . .”

But then they HAD to show me this . . .

While the producers didn’t go as far as I feared they would, by showing me a heap of dead bodies lying amongst the wreckage, they showed me enough to make me wonder if I was being f**ked with.  And I couldn’t help but be reminded of ANOTHER intriguing, but unnerving, Open-Ended Series Finale that left me with more questions than answers . . .

(Special thanks to njean666 for this fabulous clip)

They never make it easy for us, do they?

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The Many Faces (and Bodies) of Matt Damon . . .

Not only does Matt Damon star in my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE YOUTUBE VIDEO OF ALL TIME . . .

 . . . he’s also one of the most versatile actors out there!  The guy’s played everything from a prejudiced high school D-Bag, to a sociopath, to a certified genius, to a kick ass fighting machine, to an Angel of Death, to THIS GUY . . .

And let’s not forget his Oscar-worthy performance as a “differently-abled” puppet in the “riveting” Team America: World Police.

(OK . . . that wasn’t really him.  But it was pretty darn amusing, nonetheless .  . .)

Let’s take a look at his BODY of work, shall we?

School Ties (1992)

Although his first official role was in the 1988 coming of age tale Mystic Pizza, starring a young Julia Roberts (His SOLE job in the film was to say “MOM, do you want my green stuff?” while eating a lobster), Matt Damon wasn’t truly able to demonstrate his acting chops until four years later.  In 1992, he was cast as the conniving, weasely, generally D-baggy, prejudiced preppy cheater, Charlie Dillon, opposite Brendan Fraser in the film School Ties.  The film was about a Jewish boy (Fraser) who enrolled in a stuffy Catholic New England prep school on a football scholarship.  And while we all HATED Charlie for the senseless torture he inflicted on Fraser’s character, we grudgingly had to admit that the dude looked pretty damn fine without his shirt on . . .

Courage Under Fire (1996)

The only movie poster in this tribute that doesn’t ACTUALLY feature Matt Damon on it.  Damn you, Poopyhead Movie Poster Maker!

Damon lost 40 POUNDS (almost an entire Olsen twin!) for his role as the opiate-addicted Gulf War soldier, Specialist Ilario.  The transition between his buff bod in School Ties and his frighteningly thin physique in this film was truly shocking.

Watching this, I was truly conflicted.  I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to give Damon an Oscar for his heartwrenching performance, or buy him a pizza . . .

Good Will Hunting (1997)

My absolute FAVORITE Matt Damon performance remains his dramatic turn as the titular Will Hunting, a Bostonian custodian working at Harvard, who just so happens to be a genius.  Matt’s take on Hunting was at times hilarious (“You like apples?  I got her number!  How do ya like them apples?) . . .

 . . . and, at other times, poignant.  I cried like a baby during some of those Robin Williams therapy scenes.  (And it wasn’t just because William’s insanely hairy arms freaked me out, which they DO, by the way).  But what impressed me most about this film, was that Matt Damon not only starred in it, he also wrote the screenplay (which went on to win an Oscar), along with BFF Ben Affleck.  The screenplay was based on a short story Damon had penned while he was a student at Harvard.

Hot AND Smart (Me Likey!)

And while I am QUITE certain Matt Damon was shirtless at some point during Good Will Hunting (him and Minnie Driver got it on quite a bit in that film), a picture of said shirtlessness, doesn’t seem to appear in Google Images.  Grrrr . . .

The Rainmaker (1997)

That same year, Damon starred, alongside the diminutive, but always adorable, Danny Devito, in the film adaptation of a popular Grisham novel, about an idealistic young lawyer who took on a big bad corporation and won. (Wait.  Isn’t that what every Grisham novel is about?)  Lack of originality aside, The Rainmaker, thanks largely to Damon’s inherent likeability, was actually a pretty good film.  But it would have been MUCH better, if Damon’s character didn’t stay dressed THE WHOLE TIME!

Rounders (1998)

In Rounders, Damon and Ed Norton played two hardcore gamblers, addicted to the seductive world of underground poker.  (The film just so happened to be made a year prior to Norton’s SPECTACULAR performance in Primal Fear.  If you haven’t seen it yet, rent it NOW!)  Again, I DISTINCTLY remember some naked Matt Damon scenes in this film.  And AGAIN, my internet search came up empty.  What’s the deal, Google Images?

Saving Private Ryan (1998)

That same year, Damon played the titular Private Ryan, a World War II soldier, who THE ENTIRE CAST spent THE ENTIRE FILM trying to save.  Wouldn’t you?

Honestly, I’m not even going to bitch about the lack of skin in this film.  Because, even a Shirtless Connoisseur like myself can agree that the battlefield is no place for public nudity.  Except, of course, if it’s the Battlefield of LOVE!

The Talented Mr. Ripley

In this psychological thriller, Damon once again plays the titular character, a young sociopath con artist who becomes obsessed with inhabiting the life of Jude Law’s character, Dickie Greenleaf (now THAT is a porn name, if I ever heard one).  And you know what?  Matt is shirtless in this film A LOT!  But to be honest, things start out a bit .  . . unimpressive.

Banana Hammock, anyone?

Fortunately for us (but unfortunately for Dickie, who Damon’s character promptly murders), as Mr. Ripley becomes further and further enmeshed in Greenleaf’s life, his “body of work” vastly improves . . .

Ahhhh, much better!

Dogma (1999)

In Kevin Smith’s dark comedy, Dogma, Matt played Loki, and Angel of Death eager to get back in the good graces of the Man Upstairs, after having literally fallen from Heaven.  At first, the pop culture spewing character was kind of likeable, and then he wasn’t (dude just kept killing people), and then he sort of was again, and then Ben Affleck’s character killed him.  Truthfully, there wasn’t a lot of skin in Dogma (Matt Damon’s skin, anyway).  However, he did show fans a lot of wing!  (And that’s gotta count for something.)

Oceans Eleven (2001) [and 12 . . . and 13 .  . .]

Damon held his own as a professional pickpocket in this casino heist caper that will always go down in history for me as having the HOTTEST MALE cast of all time!

Knowing a cash cow when they saw one, the producers of Oceans Eleven (which was a pretty awesome film, by the way), got this group of eyecandy back together for not one, but TWO more sequels!  (It’s just too bad, I have to watch both of them on mute, because their scripts were AWFUL!)  And again, Matt Damon . . .  fully clothed the whole time.  WHY?

The Bourne Identity (2002) [and The Bourne Supremacy, AND The Bourne Ultimatum]

To many, Matt Damon initially seemed an unlikely choice to play Jason Bourne — a fictional character from the Robert Ludlum book series, about a man programmed by (the government?) to be a ruthless killing machine.  But those “many” were proved wrong, in 2002, when The Bourne Identity hit theaters.  Damon’s Bourne was the ultimate action hero!  Unlike his other, typically verbose, characters, Bourne was the strong and silent type.  He  kicked ass first, and took names later!  Like Oceans, the Bourne franchise continued with TWO sequels, with another rumored to be on the way.

 With those tight black shirts, and tight pants, Matt Damon proved that sometimes WEARING the right clothes can be sexier than wearing none at all.  (Rarely, but it happens .  . .)

The Departed (2006)

For my final Matt Damon selection of the evening, I chose the fantastic and modern Scorcese mob flick, The Departed, which, like many of Damon’s other films, featured an all-star cast, including the likes of Jack Nicholson and Leonardo DiCaprio.  Like his role in School Ties, Damon’s character in this film was kind of weasely and D-baggy.  As Colin Sullivan, Damon played a Mob Golden Boy working undercover as a mole within the Massachusetts State Police Department.  If any other actor played the role, Sullivan would have undoubtedly been so unlikeable, as to be nearly unwatchable.  However, Damon lent a vulnerability to the role, that made audiences, if not root for the character, at least sympathize with him somewhat.  (AGAIN!  GOOGLE!  WHERE ARE MY NUDIE PICS?)

Disappointed that I haven’t provided you with more shirtless pics of Matt Damon?  As a consulation prize, I leave you with this clip of Matt Damon impersonating Matthew McConaughey TALKING about being shirtless.  (McConaughey, now THERE’S a man who could never be accused of wearing too much clothes.  I didn’t even have to TYPE “shirtless” next to his name in Google Images, for half the pictures to come out all nudie!)

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