A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Sympathy for the Parents”- Brought to You By the Letter “B”

 

“I’ve got a Little McDreamy in me . . .”

Hey boys and girls!  This week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy has been brought to you by the letter “B.” 

B is for . . .

Baby,

Bromance,

Brothers (who BEAT eachother up),

Bereavement,

Broken,

Banging (even though you are both hung up on other people), and

Bat-sh*t Crazy!

Let’s revisit, shall we?

Baby Talk (and Talk, and Talk, and Talk . . .)

Man, was there A LOT of talk about babies during this episode!  The Grey’s Anatomy writers certainly know how to take a “theme” and beat it to death, don’t they?  Let’s see .  . . BABIES . . .  Derek wants one . . .

and Meredith doesn’t (because she is afraid she will be a Bad Mommy), but then she changes her mind, and decides she wants one after all. . .

Callie ALSO wants one (and has been TALKING about it nonstop for about  FOUR episodes now, which is REALLY grating on my nerves), but Arizona still doesn’t.

 Bailey HAS one, but he seems to disappear and reappear at the writers’ convenience.

And Little Sloan, who I was REALLY REALLY hoping thought was gone for good, is HAVING one, right on McSteamy’s doorstep, at the episode’s conclusion.  Ummm . . . yeah, there’s not really much more I want to say on this topic.  Put a fork in it, Grey’s.  IT’S DONE!

The Bro-mantic Adventures of Mer and Karev . . .

Grey’s Anatomy has always been a show about relationships, with a little medicine thrown in for good measure.  Obviously, the relationships that receive the most screen time tend to be the romantic ones, like the relationship between Meredith and McDreamy.

On occasion, Grey’s will also treat us to platonic GIRL-friendships, like the relationship between Meredith and Christina.

But what often gets short shrift on this show are the bromances – those fist-bumping, noogie-giving, non-emotive grunting, platonic relationships between DUDES.  And THAT is what we got treated to during “Sympathy for the Parents.”  Yes, technically, Meredith is a GIRL, but her relationship with Alex Karev (which continues to be one of my favorite dynamics on the show) is much more bromantic than anything else. 

“So, how about those Yankees?”

Meredith and Karev relate to one another in that special monosyllabic way that only DUDES can.  Without a word exchanged, Karev knew that in order to resolve her inner turmoil about having kids, Meredith needed to be told that she was nothing like her mother.  Just as Karev needed to be told that HE was nothing like his father.  And when Karev’s brother appeared at Seattle Grace out of no where, and EVERYONE was prying into Karev’s home life, Meredith, Queen of the Dysfunctional Family Club, knew to stay out of his way.  In her own, quiet, and non-judgmental way, Meredith supported Karev throughout this episode,  subtly steering him toward the betterment of his relationship with his estranged brother.

Brotherly Love and Bizarre Belly Buttons

That is NOT a weiner . . .

By far, the best and most intriguing storyline of the evening went to Resident Badass Hottie, Alex Karev.

Mmmmmmmmmmm .  . . yummy!

Who knew he had a cute younger brother and a sister, both of whom he hadn’t seen in seven years?  Who knew he was a foster kid, with an abusive dad and mentally ill mom?  Who knew he spent some time in juvie for stealing food, because his family was starving?  When Alex’s younger brother, Aaron, arrives on the scene, with an umbilical hernia that requires surgery, and no health insurance to boot, all of these little known facts rise to the surface.  And yet, Alex still managed to become a doctor and send checks home to his family every month.  In the words of Miranda Bailey, “I am impressed” (and a little turned on).

Playing the part of Alex’s blue collar baby bro, Jake McLaughlin did a fabulous job of making his character instantly likeable and relatable.  He somehow managed to be both farm-boy polite and intensely masculine, at the same time.  When Christina called Aaron “Angel Spawn” to Karev’s “Evil Spawn,” you, as the viewer, totally understood why.

Alex, of course, was none too happy with his Baby Bro for sharing all of this information with his colleagues.  Aaron, for his part, was extremely hurt to learn that Alex  (1) had gotten married and NOT invited his family to the wedding; (2)  had a wife with cancer; and (3) was getting a divorce.  The two manly men threw down, right in the middle of Seattle Grace.  And I know we were supposed to be upset and saddened by this.  But I LOVE a good boyfight (so sexy), and cheered in spite of myself.

Fortunately, Aaron’s surgery goes off without a hitch.  And the two brothers ultimately bond with one another, as Alex explains that he needs to stay away from his family in order to continue to support them financially.  In a super sweet moment that nearly brought a tear to my eye, Alex told Aaron that Little Bro had turned out to be a “good guy.”  Awwww  . . .

Bereavement sucks . . .

In the chief medical storyline of the evening, a wife with cancer suffered a stroke that left her in a vegetative state, following surgery.  Because she had signed a DNR-type document, Seattle Gracers were forced to pull the plug on this woman, against the wishes of her husband, who refused to accept her death.  The whole thing was pretty heartbreaking and intensely hard to watch.  So as not to further depress myself, that’s all I’m going to say about that . . .

Broken People Suck Too . . .

When Arizona described Owen as a mopey guy who never smiled, she WASN’T kidding.  Owen Hunt spent all of last week’s episode miserable, and all, but about two seconds, of this one (Dude DOES seem to enjoy cooking . . .:)) in the same sorry state.  Don’t get me wrong, Kevin McKidd is giving spectularly complex performances week after week.  But the writers REALLY NEED to slip some Happy Pills into this character’s coffee, pronto!

When the episode opens, Owen is all distracted, mopey and PTSD-y, after last week’s traumatic war flashback revisit.  However, he refuses to talk to Christina about it and balks at the idea of returning to therapy.  Teddy, who can sort of relate to what Owen is going through, having worked on the battle field herself, desperately wants to help Owen, but fears intruding on his relationship with Christina.  When Christina makes a mistake during surgery, and Owen freaks out on her, Teddy advises Christina not to demand too much from Owen at this time.

Later, when Owen becomes angered over a cooking mishap, and Christina instinctively shrinks from him in fear, Owen finally admits he has a problem and agrees to get help.

Banging a.k.a. “Pounding the Cake”

Sloan and Teddy had some sex during this episode.  They repeatedly described it as “mindblowing,” but it kinda looked lukewarm to me.  I just don’t see the chemistry between these two.  Plus, it’s OBVIOUS that Teddy still has the hots for Owen.  And McSteamy remains hung up on Lexie.  In other (more important) news, I learned a kickass new euphemism for sex.

“Pounding the cake” . . . I just KNOW this one is going to come in handy one day (possibly during next week’s recap?)

Welcome to Bat-Sh&t Crazytown – Population: April

“I refuse to be ignored, McDreamy.”

OK, so I found April’s behavior during this episode to be completely bizarre.  Apparently, many of you felt the same way, because my blog was  just crawling with “April and Derek” searches, even before I posted this blog entry (and even before I had watched this episode).  Let’s see: there were those eerily creepy wide-eyed stares she gave him every time he passed her way, the evil looks she shot Meredith, whenever the latter and Derek were acting lovey-dovey, the abrupt way she left the room in tears after Derek’s speech to the comatose patient’s husband, and her overly defensive response to Lexie when she was called out on her “crush.”

Now, if this was any other show, my first guess as to what was going on here would be that the Mean Ole Sort-of Married Doctor is having a forbidden affair with his young resident.  But I don’t think this is the case here.   After all, Shondra Rhimes KNOWS that if she makes Derek into a cheater after ALL this time (with a former MERCY WESTER no less), “Mer and Der” shippers will literally burn down her house!

The next, most logical, explanation would be that April’s character is merely in the throes of innocent puppy love.  In such case, the bizarro creepiness element to it all, would be merely the result of bad over-acting.  However, I am already familiar with Sarah Drew’s work.  And I happen to know that this actress is a Total Pro when it comes to subtly portraying the agony of unrequited love.  I watched her do it during teen drama, Everwood, where she played the shy and bookish Hannah, who was suffering from a crush on a boy that she was certain was miles out of her league . . .

And she pulled it off again on Mad Men, as a wife who knows in her heart that she is married to a closeted homosexual, who will never return her romantic affections . . .

Nope.  My guess is that Sarah Drew’s bizarre portrayal of April during this episode was intentional.  After all, this wouldn’t be the first time, the actress has played the role of a creepy obsessed psycho stalker.  Anyone else remember her guest-starring role in Glee as the Bat Sh*t Crazy, Teacher Devouring, Susie Pepper?

Something tells me that THIS storyline is FAR from over . . .

Happy-Get-Lucky: A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Perfect Little Accident”

Remember back when Grey’s Anatomy was a HAPPY show, one filled with hot cast members, snappy one-liners, and adorable on-call room hijinks?  A show that was light on the medical mysteries but SUPER HEAVY on the sex?  That was the Grey’s I loved . .  . the one that made me squeal with delight, as I settled in front of the television, every Thursday night, for my weekly dosage of McDreamy goodness. 

 As the seasons progressed, however, I started to see less and less of that Grey’s.  Eventually, I began to wonder whether I would ever see it again . . .

But just as I was about to write off the series as being past its prime, Grey’s goes and airs an episode like this one.  It was a feel-good episode, one where doctors joked with and smiled at one another, and the patients you cared about actually survived.  During “Perfect Little Accident,” our favorite Grey’s characters didn’t just get screwed, they got lucky.  Everybody came out a winner last night, the fans included.

It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, just thinking about it . . .

So, without further adieu, let’s let the happy healing begin, shall we?

Happy Vah-jay-jay Day!

At least at Seattle Grace, yesterday was a great day NOT to have a weiner . . .

“Hey!  I resemble that remark!”

During “Perfect Little Accident,” it was the women who scored, both in the ER and in the bedroom.  Throughout the hour, the members of the fairer sex uttered the funniest lines, doled out the best advice, and had the most fun.  In short, “Perfect Little Accident” was just chock full of GIRL POWER!

Hey look!  It’s Victoria Beckham and . . . those other girls who’s names I can’t remember.

Even the typically mopey Meredith and dour-faced Christina appeared positively perky and well-adjusted last night.  Did I mention that the episode ended with a “Girls’ Night,” during which the entire female component of the cast bonded during a lighthearted game of softball?  It doesn’t get much more women’s lib-ey than that!

But if I absolutely had to pick a winner for the “luckiest” female character from last night’s episode, Lexie Grey would have taken the prize.  Ever since she ditched old fogey Sloan (we’ll get to him in a bit) and dyed her hair blond, Lexie has literally been getting lucky all over the place. 

In the episode’s opening moments, Lexie is nude in bed, trying to decide on a seductive pose with which to greet her latest sexcapade partner, Alex the Uber Slut.  This seems like a lot of wasted effort to me.  After all, a rotten banana could probably seduce Alex without trying that hard . . .

“You’re asking me what my ‘type’ is?  Do you have a pulse?  Then, we are good to go.  Wait . . . no pulse?  I’d be willing to negotiate . . .”

(By the way, don’t get me wrong.  I love Lexie’s glamorous new look.  But don’t you think the makeup department is overdoing it just a bit with her?  While the rest of the female doctors on the show sport natural, no-fuss, looks, that appear at home in an ER — lately, Sexy Lexie looks more like she’s ready to attend some snooty awards gala than change a colostomy bag . . .)

Back at the hospital, Meredith and Christina warn Lexie about getting too up-close and personal with Dr. McManWhore.  “Emotionally, Alex is like me three years ago,” explains Meredith.

When Lexie assures the girls that she does not have romantic feelings for Alex, neither of them buy it.  “Your heart lives in your vagina,” argues Christina (yes, they actually used the word VAGINA on ABC . . . like three times, actually – I was shocked!)

Unlike Nikki from HBO’s Big Love, Lexie has a Happy Vagina, and, likely, a Happy Uterus, as well . . .

Despite the girls’ taunts, Lexie proves herself true to her word.  When Alex accuses her of becoming overly emotional, and blabbing about their sex life to her ex —  Lexie really lets him have it.  “If you can’t handle being used for sex, then, please, just tell me, so I can find a guy who can,” demands Lexie.

Well, that’s all it took.  Alex was seduced . . . AGAIN.  The pair found an on-call room in which to screw eachother’s brains out, mere seconds later.

Dr. Feel Good

Lexie may have been having the BEST no-frills sex last night, but her ex, Mark Sloan a.k.a Dr. McSteamy, was having the MOST.  Within the episode’s hour, he was seen banging a pharmaceutical rep, a nurse, and the daughter of a patient who came in for leg surgery, but ended up getting her hearing fixed by the God of Plastic Surgery, himself (I’m still not quite sure how the latter medical miracle happened, but, as a plot device, I guess it worked). 

And yet, despite all the Luuuve, Sloan was the one person in this episode who wasn’t particularly happy.  If Lexie’s heart is in her vagina, Sloan’s brain is in his penis.  Despite the fact that McSteamy was “spreading his seed” all over the damn place, he still didn’t want his ex Lexie doing the same thing (well, not spreading her seed exactly, because she’s a girl, but . . . oh, never mind!).  So Sloan did what all “Real Men” do in situations like this, he whined like a bitch.

“Who you calling a bitch?”

When Sloan wasn’t getting it on with some floozy during this episode, he was callously and immaturely berating fellow male slut, Alex, kicking him out of surgeries, and generally peeing all over him.  At the end of the episode, Sloan confronted Alex and sort of apologized for his misbehavior.  And, yet, doing so didn’t make him look like any less of a WEINERHEAD.

“OK.  Now you’re just making me mad!”

Three’s a Crowd .  . . Pleaser

“So, this is what smiling feels like?  I like it . . .”

You know who wasn’t a weinerhead at all during this episode?  Christina Yang!  My girl, Christina, was just filled with mature and well-adjusted awesomeness last night.  It all started when she encouraged her boyfriend, Owen, to become friends with Dr. Teddy, even though the latter is obviously still in love with the former.  Owen, clearly tired of the awkwardness between him and his former best friend, gratefully complied with Christina’s request, by inviting Teddy over for dinner with Christina and him. 

It would appear that the threesome is heading down the road to a healthy and happy friendship, except for the fact that Christina appears to be a bit enamored with Teddy, as well.  “I’m in love with Teddy,” Christina admitted to Meredith, in what was an unusually candid moment between the pair.  “I can’t help it, my heart is in my scalpel.”

Christina’s realization came after her and Teddy saved the life of a young lung cancer patient, who was seemingly a lost cause, by performing a highly experimental ex vivo lung transplant on him.  The process involved taking the damaged lungs of a recently deceased patient and repairing those lungs during the bypass surgery.  When it comes to Christina Yang, nothing is more seductive than a complex and high profile surgery.  The thrill she experienced as a result of her victory more than made up for the faux pas she committed when misdiagnosing medical legend, Dr. Harper Avery . . .

We Don’t Know Jackie . . .

 

  . . . but we wish we did!

 . . . and we fear we may never get the chance!

 Christina wasn’t the only doctor who got a bit tongue-tied when Dr. Avery, a surgeon so famous they named an award after him, arrived at the hospital, as a patient.  Most of the staff at Seattle Grace appeared to be just a bit starstruck by this brilliant, if slightly pompous and ornery, man.  (The role was handled with aplomb by the inimitable Chelcie Ross, who you may remember as the successful, but slightly pompous and ornery, Conrad Hilton on Mad Men). 

“I thought your grandchild’s name was Paris?”

Unlike the rest of the staff, Jackson Avery (a.k.a Pretty Boy, a.k.a. the Hotness Monster, a.k.a the only Mercy Wester I can actually stomach) was far from starstruck by the legend’s arrival. Instead, he was annoyed and uncomfortable.  After all, Dr. Harper Avery is none other than Jackson’s grandfather.  And Jackson would like nothing more than to live outside of his Pop Pop’s admittedly large shadow.  To further complicate matters, Dr. Avery (1) needed surgery; (2) wished for it to be performed on him while he was still awake; (3) and wanted the newly sober Dr. Webber to perform the procedure during his first non-Chief day back on the job.

Nu-Chief Shepherd was adamantly against the idea, but Webber seemed determined to go through with it.  Off they rushed to the Operating Room, with Jackson and Meredith Grey (herself no stranger to having to live up to the medical legacy of a famous, but obnoxious relative) both providing assistance.  Apparently, Avery is just as big of a pain in the ass on the operating table as off it.  The dude just WOULD NOT shut up! 

More like a sports caster than a patient, Avery felt the need to detail the play-by-play of his surgery to the doctors performing it.  Knowing that Meredith was Ellis Grey’s daughter, he interrogated her regarding whether she would accept a prestigious medical internship from her now-deceased mother, an option Jackson turned down, when it was offered to him by his grandfather.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, Dr. Avery went as far as to critique the type of tools Webber was using to perform the surgery.

Although the initial surgery appeared to go off without a hitch, Dr. Avery experienced some adverse reactions during recovery.  Webber, fearing that he had botched surgery on a legend, offered to step back from the case, before Avery went under the knife a second time.  However, Nu-Chief Shepherd wouldn’t have it.  Believing that regaining confidence in his surgical abilities would help ensure Webber’s continued sobriety, Shepherd urged Webber to get back on the proverbial horse, and complete the surgery himself. 

Ultimately, the doctors learned that Dr. Avery’s post-surgical complications were the result of his being allergic to the surgical tools that he, himself, had demanded that Dr. Webber use.  Thus, it was Dr. Avery who effectively botched his own surgery, not Webber.  Fortunately, the second surgery was a successful one.  After it, Meredith confrontedJackson, urging him to make peace with his grandfather, study with him, and learn from him, all things that Meredith never got the chance to do with her mother  . . .

NOOOOOO!  Don’t leave me Doctor Hotness!  Let Grandpa Avery take your annoying and sniveling Mercy West friends instead . . .

Here’s my issue with Meredith’s “sage advice.”  A couple of reliable entertainment sources have informed me that TWO former Mercy West doctors will be leaving the show ASAP.  Since Sarah Drew’s character, April, JUST returned a couple of weeks ago, the actress will likely stick around for at least  a little while longer.  That leaves three other possibilities for the imminent departures:

 . . . this girl . . .

 . . . this guy AND

Dr. Hotness.

Two will go, but only ONE will stay.  Who will it be?

It’s probably no secret, by now, which one I want to keep around.  And yet, Dr. Hotness can’t very well be hanging around Seattle Grace while “learning” and “training” under Grandpa Conrad Hilton Harper Avery, now can he?

Here’s hoping that this article is correct, which would mean that I am worrying myself over nothing.  Because, if things don’t go my way, I might just feel the need to send Shondra Rhimes the fashion accessory shown below:Any questions?

Well, that was our show!  What did you think?  Are you a fan of the Christina, Owen and Teddy threesome?  Do you like Lexie’s new super-coiffed Surgical Barbie look?  Are you as freaked out by the prospect of a Dr. Hotness departure as I am?

Back to School – A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Time Warp”

When I heard that this  Thursday’s installment of Grey’s Anatomy was going to be a “flashback episode,” one that intermingled the characters’ present day experiences with events of the past,  in order to shed some light on the characters’ current behavior, I found myself struck with an overwhelming sense of deja vu.  I couldn’t kick this feeling that I had been here before.  That I had seen this before . . .

Oh, yeah . . . now I remember . . .

In an effort to differentiate himself from former Chief Webber McBoozy (although after 45 days of sobriety, I guess it is no longer appropriate, nor fair, to call him that), and to make a name for himself as the “touchy feely” Nu-Chief, Dr. McDreamy Shepherd reinstitutes Lecture Day at Seattle Grace.

“See?  I’m the sensitive one.  Look into my puppy dog eyes,  and tell me I’m not sensitive.  Just don’t make me cry, because I’ll punch your lights out, if you do.”

As guest lecturers, Shepherd commandeers Bailey, Callie, and Chief McBoozy Webber (sorry, force of habbit).  Webber takes a bit of extra persuading on Shepherd’s part.  After all, learning that you have just been demoted from “Chief of Surgery” to just plain “surgeon” does not exactly make one feel all “happy-go-teachy.”  Nonetheless, Webber ultimately agrees to guest lecture, and what appears to be the entire staff of Seattle Grace packs a rather large auditorium to see him do so. 

(Seriously, Seattle Grace?  Your entire staff?  This is why you aren’t ranked in the top ten!  This is why your patients die all the time!  Doesn’t anyone practice medicine here any more?)

But I digress . . . Here’s what we learned from our three lecturers:

Webber’s Lesson: “When I was your age . . .”

Our first flashback took us all the way back to 1982 – a time when the medical profession was very much an all-boys club, an all white boys club;  a time when doctors were largely ignorant about and frightened of immune system-related diseases and homosexuality.  It was also a time when people dressed like this . . .

Back then Webber was a just teetotaling, ambitious young resident trying to make a name for himself at Seattle Grace, while, at the same time, boinking Meredith’s Mommy, Ellis Grey, in the on-call room.  Yes, apparently, they did that in the 80s too.  Talk about sexually transmitted diseases . . .  How often do you think they sterilize that place?

“28 more years of this and we will ALL be under quarantine . . .”

When Ellis and Webber encounter a patient with a rare bacterial infection, they begin to suspect that he may have GRID, Gay Related Immune Deficiency Disorder, or AIDS, as it is now commonly called.  This was a highly sensitive subject for any doctor to broach during that time, let alone a young resident with minimal job security.  After all, few cases of the disorder had been discovered at this point, and very little was known about the disease. 

Apparently, homosexuality was just not something you talked about back then, it being a time before

 Will and Grace and . . .  well . . .

Grey’s Anatomy!

Initially, the patient takes Webber’s inquiry into his sexual orientation very badly.  He leaves the hospital in a huff, refusing treatment.  Unfortunately, a few weeks later, he returns, now extremely ill and desperate for help.  The problem is that, now that his secret is out, most of the doctors and nurses at Seattle Grace are afraid of infection and unwilling to help him.  THIS MUST BE A JOB FOR  . . .

 . . . no, not them, just Young Webber and Young Ellis Grey.

The dynamic duo risk their careers and, as far as they know, their lives, to save this patient.  Fortunately, the surgery goes well.  (Yay!) But . . . then the patient dies anyway (Boo!)  But, not before Webber learns of his own fallibility and the importance of maintaining your humanity as a surgeon.  (Yay!)  Then, afterwards, Ellis bullies the future Chief McBoozy into taking his first alcoholic drink. (Boo!)   But, before, that, we got to see how adorable Meredith looked at age 5.  (Yay!)

Needless to say, it was a very emotional rollercoaster-esque lecture.  Yet, at its conclusion, Webber gives a rousing speech about the importance of doctors adhering to the Hippocratic Oath.  He then raises his right hand and recites the Oath himself.  Admittedly, it was some pretty powerful stuff, and really served to highlight Webber’s true love of medicine.  Clearly affected by his own speech, the Old Chief ultimately decides to accept McDreamy’s offer and return to work.  (Yay!)

Bailey’s Lesson: Shark tales, a.k.a. The Birth of the Nazi

Before Miranda Bailey became the Nazi; before she turned into a strong, smart, powerful, but often angry, woman who looks like this . . .

Bailey was an overachieving but painfully shy and polite-to-a-fault intern, who looked like this . . .

The year was 2003.  While medicine had come a long way since 1982, there were still many obstacles for women who wanted to succeed in the healthcare industry.  And for many women, their biggest obstacle was one another.  That’s right.   Mean girls, unfortunately, stuck around long past the 80s . .

This movie came out in 2004 . . .

Despite the fact that Mean Girls wasn’t due out in theaters for another year, one of them had managed to sneak into Seattle Grace.  Bailey’s resident “advisor” is  a bitch with a Capital B.  And, like any two-dimensional villian, this 30-something year old woman tortured Young Bailey with the zeal, intensity (and maturity) of a 16-year old cheerleader who just found out that her boyfriend has decided to go to prom with the class nerd.

Be careful Bailey!  This never ends well for people like you . . .

Fortunately, for Bailey, she is due for a major personality transplant and stat!  And who performs said transplant, you ask?  None other than Superman Webber of course!  “Surgery is a shark tank, and sharks have teeth.  Be a shark, not a minnow,” the then-Chief instructs Bailey. 

And I bet you know what happens next . . .

That’s right!  Our Neo Nazi Bailey solves a difficult medical mystery.  Then,  in what we now know was the first of her eloquently angry, yet rousing, monologues, Bailey hands her bitchy resident advisor her ass on a platter for ordering countless unnecessary surgeries for a patient, who merely required medication.  “You are going to be a brilliant surgeon one day,” commends Webber (and we know that he is right!)

In addition to being an awesome surgeon, Bailey is also terrific public speaker.  She owns both the stage and her audience, awarding them for class participation with chocolates.  And as a nearly perpetual student, I can tell you that candy bribes WORK and work well!

Callie’s Lesson: “Everybody f&*ks Alex.”

You know who’s not so hot in the public speaking department?  The typically loud and brash Callie.  After vomiting up her breakfast in anticipation of the big event, Callie stumbles around stage, head tucked inside her notes, mumbling almost incoherently about the club footed patient her and Alex cared for back in 2006, when she was a new resident.

With Alex’s help, however, Callie ultimately recovers nicely.  She recounts for the group the immensely gratifying experience of repairing the leg of a 28-year old student who was told he could never walk.  When all of the other doctors discounted the patient, and berated Callie for mismanaging his expectations, Callie refused to give up.  As a result, this formerly bed-ridden man can now roam freely (with the help of some crutches, of course). 

And this wouldn’t be Grey’s Anatomy if the story didn’t end with an on-call room boink fest between Alex and Callie . . .

“I am so much better at doing this than public speaking  . . .”

Apparently, Alex has screwed the entire staff at Seattle Grace, and most of its patients.  That is one dirty boy!

Not only is Alex a slut, he is also, apparently a liar.  And Callie catches him in a real whopper.  As punishment, she forces him to perform the surgery he claimed to have already done by himself in an elevator shaft, even though that surgery was actually completed by Callie’s ex-hubby, the now deceased, George.

R.I.P. Dude!  The show hasn’t been the same since you left . . . really.

So, there you have it, folks.  A love letter to medicine, with three flashbacks, two sex scenes, lots of chocolate, and a shout out to an old friend.  Not bad for a single episode.

All Work and No Play (Well, Maybe Some Play . . .) – A Grey’s Anatomy Recap

                So, I was all set to do this recap, when it occurred to me that I didn’t know what this episode was called.  The TV.com Episode Guide actually lists Thursday’s Grey’s Anatomy episode title as “I Like You So Much Better When You’re Naked.”  Seriously?   Is that not the longest episode title you have ever seen?  Even if you boil it down to its initials (as recappers and fangirls tend to do), it is reduced merely to the highly unwieldy ILYSMBWYN.

             And yet, the title, untenable as it may be, pretty accurately describes how I generally feel about Grey’s Anatomy.  Because, honestly, who really watches Grey’s for the medical stuff?  We used to have ER for that.  Now, I guess we have that Mercy show . . .

            If I had my druthers, McDreamy and Karev would be out of their scrubs way more often than in them.  That being said, I was genuinely surprised at how much I enjoyed this installment of Grey’s Anatomy, particularly seeing as it contained virtually no nudity at all, and focused almost entirely on the career ambitions of our main characters.  Apparently, even though we, as fans, don’t give two poos about the Seattle Grace staff’s prowess as doctors, they care a heck of a lot . . .

           Here’s my take on what happened  . . .

Chicken pox = foreplay

                Our favorite lesbian medical practitioners, Arizona and Callie, are getting jiggy in the on-call room (one of the episode’s few opportunities to illustrate the obligatory “naked”ness of the series) when Arizona discovers a round boil on Callie’s body and instantly diagnoses her as having the chicken pox.  Apparently, when Callie was a little girl, her daddy was much too busy (doing whatever it is super rich hotel magnates do) to allow his little girl to play with “chicken pox kids” so that she could contract the illness at a younger, significantly more convenient, age.

             Arizona, who claims to also never have had the chicken pox (And here I thought that exposure to “the pox” was a prerequisite for becoming a pediatrician), literally avoids Callie like the plague, commandeering Lexie to be her caretaker.  Lexie and Mark take turns caring for Callie.  And by “caring,” I mean talking her ear off about how each of them cheated on their relationship but do not want to tell one another about their respective indiscretions. Later in the episode, Arizona and Lexie watch as Mark gives the Itchy Callie a much-needed (and very sexy, especially for a platonic duo) back rub.

            Clearly turned on by all that “rubbing,” Arizona confesses to Lexie that she actually has had the chicken pox before (so, maybe I was right, after all, about the whole “prerequisite” thing).  However, she lied about it, because she feared that caring for Callie while she was pox-covered would somehow make their relationship “less sexy.”  Ummm . . .  really?  Now, I would find this remark shallow coming from any human being, but particularly a person who has chosen a career in the healthcare industry.  Ultimately, Arizona crawls into bed with the Poxy Callie, confident that her relationship can stay “sexy,” ugly chicken pimples and all. 

                  While I was happy that the two reconciled, I have to say, I was a little pissed that Arizona never admitted to Callie that she had already been exposed to the pox.  Instead, Arizona “bravely” told Callie she “didn’t care” if “she got chicken pox” from her lover.  So, now, Callie thinks Arizona is a selfless and altruistic human being, as opposed to the self-absorbed airhead biatch she has just proven herself to be . . .

McSteamy = McHypocrite

            Speaking of self-absorbed airhead biatches, Mark proved himself to be one as well during this episode.  Throughout most of the show, Mark waxed poetic about loving Lexie sooo much and feeling soooo guilty over his indiscretion with former fling Addison last week.  He just “got caught up” in the emotion of it all and “couldn’t control himself.” (Riiiight.  Because, nothing says “aphrodisiac” like an unborn grandbaby suffering amniotic band syndrome and a long-lost daughter suffering from medical and emotional trauma, as a result.)  Seeing as Lexie appeared to feel equally guilty about her roll in the hay with the married Karev, and seemed to be equally in love with Mark, I really thought these two crazy kids could act like adults, and work it out.

            I was only half right.  When Mark admitted his fling to Lexie, she was understanding, and even a bit relieved.  “Now, we are even,” she explained, as she copped to doing the nasty with Karev.  Mark, on the other hand — a guy who is best known for cheating with his best friend’s wife — chose this moment as an opportunity to suddenly become completely judgmental and self-righteous. 

               Mark was appalled that Lexie could even think of cheating on him.  After all, all he did was tell her that he would choose his virtual stranger daughter over her any day, before fleeing the state and flying cross country to screw a former fling.  “I can’t even look at you now,” he seethed piously, as he stalked off, leaving Lexie alone to ponder her own misdeeds.

Izzie and Alex are Dunzo . . . for now.

            Lexie and Mark weren’t the only pair to call it quits this week.  At the opening of the episode, Karev wakes up in bed after an amorous night with Lexie, only to find that his prodigal wife, Izzie, has returned.  Having pretty much freaked out (understandably, to some extent), following her near-terminal brush with brain cancer and subsequent firing, Izzie seemed to be in a much better place than we had seen from her in a long time. 

                  The long-MIA doc was optimistic about taking on a new job opportunity at a hospital in nearby Tacoma (even if, as Derek snobbily mentioned, the hospital did not make it into the coveted Top Twenty ranking).  Additionally, she was thrilled about her newly clean bill of health, and actually seemed excited to rekindle her relationship with her husband ,Alex.  Izzie was even understanding of Alex’s indiscretion with Lexie, explaining to him that the two of them would work through this bump in the road together.

               Unfortunately, for Izzie, Alex wasn’t having any of it.  In what was likely the most heartfelt and, yet most backhanded, compliment ever, Alex explains to Izzie that he loves her, because she helped him to realize that he was a “good person.”  However, now that Alex knows he is a “good person,” he has decided that he is too good for Izzie.  And so, he hopes that she will leave and never come back . . . but she should be happy about it, of course.

              Although Meredith begs her to stay (for specific reasons that I will detail in just a bit), a heartbroken Izzie packs her bags and leaves Seattle . . . for good?

“That’s Chief McDreamy, to You!”

            Surprisingly, Meredith, typically the darkest and twistiest of them all, seems fairly happy and well-adjusted throughout most of this episode.  When Derek informs Meredith that he wants to go to the Medical Board and rat out Chief Drunky McDrunkerson for falling off the wagon, Meredith begs him not to do so.  She does this by adorably evoking the “Post It” Marriage that binds the couple together forever (hopefully). 

              Initially, Derek bows to the all-powerful Post-It.  However, when Chief fails to appear at an important and complex surgery (after Derek has confronted him by “subtly” placing a bottle of booze on his desk) Derek becomes more determined than ever to throw Chief Boozer under the buss, for the good of the hospital.  Of course, the fact that Derek would be made acting Chief of Staff in Chief Webber’s absence doesn’t hurt either.

            When Derek informs Meredith that his first action as Chief would be to hire back the wrongly terminated Izzie (see “reasons for staying” above), Meredith relinquishes her Post-It ultimatum on her friend’s behalf.  At the conclusion of the episode, a drunken, passed-out, Chief is unceremoniously demoted.  And so, Chief McDreamy begins his rise to the Seattle Grace throne  . . .

Owen makes a choice on Christina’s Behalf

            Once again, Owen and Christina showcased what was, in my humble opinion, the best plotline of the evening.  As you might recall, at the conclusion of last week’s episode, Christina had impulsively offered Owen up to Cardio God Terry in exchange for her staying at Seattle Grace as Christina’s mentor.  Teddy, still very much in love with Owen, refused to let Christina forget her not-so-tactful statement.  The more-experienced, but less lucky-in-love Doc proceeded to lord Christina’s words over her head, giving her the cold shoulder through most of the episode.

            This caused the normally cold Christina to grow unusually introspective.  At lunchtime, she interrogated the rest of the Seattle Grace crew, hoping for least one of them to admit that they were more passionate about surgery than their respective relationships.  “This is what you guys talk about during lunch?”  The New Hot Doc inquired incredulously.  (Sorry, buddy, you may be pretty to look at, but you are way too mature and, let’s face it, normal, to hang out with this bunch of crazies . . .)

            Ultimately, Christina finds the justification she is looking for, not in her friends, but in a patient of hers.  She commiserates deeply with a rather obnoxious opera singer with a tumor on his throat, who would rather die than lose his precious voice, even if dying would bring about an untimely end to his relationship with his doting gay lover.  Teddy, although she staunchly refuses to admit it, seems to commiserate with the ass-like patient as well, opting to remove his tumor in such a way that his voice is saved, even though doing so will create a riskier road ahead for the opera singer.

            In the last few minutes of the episode, Teddy gets plastered, and uses that as an opportunity to spill the beans to Owen about Christina’s insensitive earlier statement.  I immediately became concerned that Owen would do the “typical guy thing” and become all hurt and wounded over the remark, possibly getting drunk and sleeping with Teddy out of a pure need for revenge against Christina.  (After all, that’s most likely what I would do, in a situation like this . . .)

            Fortunately, Owen is clearly a better man than I am a woman.  Instead of shunning Christina, upon confronting his medicine-obsessed girlfriend, he grabs her and kisses her passionately, ”People do matter. I matter.  We matter. You don’t get to toss me aside. I won’t let you,” Owen insists resolutely.  And at that moment, the entire female population of Grey’s Anatomy fans’, myself included, allowed their panties to drop to the floor . . . .

            And that, my friends, is the reason why I continue to watch this show . . .

 

Reunited, and it feels so . . . um . . . – Grey’s Anatomy Recap for “Blink”

I have watched Grey’s Anatomy for six seasons now.  (Yeah, it has been on for that long.  Doesn’t that make you feel old?  Because it makes me feel ancient.)  And when you’ve watched a show religiously for that long, it begins to feel somewhat like an old friend.  So that is how I think of Grey’s Anatomy, as a childhood buddy of sorts . . .

After all, we’ve been through a lot together, Grey’s and I.  And like I would for any good friend, I have stood by Grey’s through good times (all of Season 1 and most of Season 2) and bad times (that unfortunate story arc where Meredith “died” by drowning and literally chilled out with other dead people and a dog for three hours). 

I have supported my pal Grey’s even when it (a) made unwise decisions (the George and Izzie romance, Izzie’s brain tumor and related dalliance with Ghost Denny, and Derek’s unfortunate romance with the bland Nurse Rose), (b) got involved with a bad crowd of people (the rotating cadre of cardio docs, and the entire Mercy West crew . . .  except for that really hot one whose name I can’t remember.  He’s just so pretty), and (c) said mean and insensitive things (pretty much everything that came out of Isaiah Washington’s mouth during the whole f-word scandal).

Because Grey’s is such a good friend of mine, when the two of us got together on Thursday, after a long time apart, I was so excited that I took in stride the fact that it wasn’t quite itself . . . that a certain spark was missing.  And for that, I was ultimately rewarded.   Here’s what I learned during our friendly meeting:

Chief is still off the wagon . . .

As the episode opened, Meredith was heading off for another “surgery lesson” with Chief.  We learn that Meredith and Dr. Webber have been spending a lot of time together lately engaging in these “surgery lessons.”  And this continues to occur, much to the chagrin of her suspicious new husband-via-Post-It Note, Derek.  Thankfully (although it probably would have made things more interesting if they were), contrary to what the Ghost of Grey’s Episodes Past may have implied, “surgery lessons” are not a euphemism for “playing dirty doctor,” if you know what I mean.  Instead, these lessons basically consisted of Chief and Meredith watching old videos of Meredith’s dearly departed mother performing surgeries, while Chief waxed poetic about his former fling.

Apparently, Chief has been spending so much time watching videos and “doing paper work for the [Mercy West] merger,” that he hasn’t had much time to  . . .  um . . . be a doctor? Instead, he has been reassigning his surgeries to Bailey, who has been majorly covering his ass, ever since that unfortunate incident during which a wasted Chief cut into a patient’s bile duct, turning said patient yellow and nearly killing him.  To throw Derek off the scent, the usually honest-to-a-fault Bailey was even willing to lie and say she had a crush on Bile Duct Guy in order to explain her sudden obsessive interest in the patient’s health and well-being. Ultimately, at the episode’s conclusion, a guilt-ridden Meredith comes clean to Derek about the Chief’s drinking problem, which she witnessed first hand a few month’s ago, during the show’s Christmas episode.

Bailey’s still not getting laid . . .

Repeated visits with Bile Duct Guy notwithstanding, since her unfortunate separation from her husband, Bailey, much like the Chief, has been missing out on the opportunity to “play dirty doctor.”  Doctor McDreamy (he of the always oh-so-healthy relationships) seems unusually eager to put an end to Bailey’s self-enforced period of celibacy.  And, no, this isn’t a euphemism either.  (What happened to the old slutty Grey’s I used to know?)  Like Meredith and the Chief, Derek has absolutely no interest in surfing Bailey’s va-jay-jay, himself.  Instead, the altruistic doc commandeers another single surgeon to do the job for him.  Unfortunately for Derek, Bailey is not having any of that love crud.  In fact, she scares the man off completely with talk about her three-year-old son who pees on everything.  (Note to all the Single Ladies out there: pee stories . . . not a turn on).

McSteamy and Lexipedia are Splitsville . . . for now

When we last left our favorite May/December romance couple, Mark had just learned that he had a teenage daughter who just so happened to be pregnant.  When the episode begins, Mark, Lexie and Mark’s daughter,  whose name is Sloan (which, assuming she takes on Mark’s last name, would make her Sloan Sloan?) are living together in not-so-marital bliss.  When a reluctant Lexie performs an ultrasound for Little Sloan, she learns that Mark’s unborn grandchild has amniotic band syndrome.  In other words, the child’s legs are trapped amid wisps of amniotic fluid. 

Little Sloan, determined that her child “have feet,”  decides to have an operation to fix this abnormality, regardless of the inherent risks involved .  And so, despite the fact that Arizona, Callie’s current girlfriend, is a perfectly competent pediatric surgeon, in yet another ploy to get viewers to watch the failing Grey’s spinoff Private Practice, Mark flies Addison out from LA to perform the surgery.  However, once Little Sloan is on the operating table, Mark freaks out about the risks and forces Addison to close up shop and fly back from whence she came.  (Hey, at least she’s racking up those frequent flyer miles . . .)

After the Surgery that Wasn’t, Mark and Little Sloan have a father-daughter talk.   The latter convinces Mark that she must do whatever it takes to save her child’s legs.   Therefore, Little Sloan is determined to go under the knife again.  Lexie, playing the role of martryr, suggests that the pair fly out to LA so that Addison can perform the surgery for real this  time.  The father and daughter pair agree to do this, and in a moment of paternal bliss, Mark invites Little Sloan to live with him and Lexie permanently .  This way, the three can raise Sloan’s baby together  in Seattle.

When the 25-year old Lexie understandably balks at the idea of being the world’s youngest step-grandmother.  Mark warns her not to make him choose between his daughter and his lover.  But in making such a distinction, Lexie knows that Mark has already made his choice, and it is not Lexie.  Feeling hurt, alone, and reckless, Lexie searches desperately for an outlet for all of her pent up emotion . . .  which leads her to . . .

Alex has reverted, yet again, to Tool status

Speaking of euphemisms, Alex and former-Mercy Wester Reed spend most of the episode speaking in them.  “Let me scrub in [on your surgery], and I’ll take you out for a drink afterward and . . . you know,” offers Reed, who has been majorly crushing on  our resident “Saved” Bad Boy since she arrived at Seattle Grace.  Karev, who has been understandably uber pissed at his wife Izzie for being MIA for half-the-season, initially seems receptive to Reed’s offer to “play dirty doctor” with him.  And despite Meredith’s not-so-gentle reminder to him that he is, in-fact, still married, Karev continues to invite doe-eyed Reed’s thinly veiled offers of sex.

Yet, ultimately, Bad Boy turns her down, making us viewers believe he truly has changed . . . for about two minutes.  In the final moments of the episode, he entices his former screw buddy, the vulnerable and lovelorn Lexie, to the darkside with his come hither eyes, overwhelmingly masculine sexiness, and insanely hot body.  FINALLY, someone is actually PLAYING DIRTY DOCTOR!  Here’s hoping for lots of Naked Alex this year . . .  I honestly don’t care who with.

Christina is not a Playa

Unlike Lexie and Alex, Christina Yang would actually prefer being a real doctor to playing a dirty one.  We learn this when she nearly has an “O” when new “Cardio God” Teddy gives her the opportunity to perform a complicated heart valve surgery.  In what was, for me, the most intriguing storyline of the Episode, Christina goes on to perform the prized surgery solo. 

When Christina runs into some trouble on the operating table, Teddy ignores her student completely, opting instead to read a magazine during the operation.  When Christina’s beau, Owen, tries to intervene on her behalf, Christina pushes him away.  Yang ultimately successfully completes the surgery on her own.

After the surgery, Owen confronts Teddy and accuses her of having ulterior motives for not helping Christina through the difficult surgery.  However, when he speaks to Christina, the young doc is absolutely thrilled with Teddy and her methods.  Christina explains to Owen that, by letting her complete the surgery on her own, Teddy gave her back the confidence she had lost in herself, thereby making her feel alive again. 

When Owen explains that Teddy will be leaving Seattle Grace, Christina runs after her, like a lover in the last few moments of a romantic comedy.  Then, Christina, in keeping with her rom-com script, explains to Teddy that she will give the New Cardio God whatever it takes to make her stay.  Teddy turns to Christina, impulsively, and the two make out hard core (just kidding – It turns out this really isn’t a rom-com, after all.)  Actually, Teddy says, “I want Owen.”  (Gasp – GIRL, OH NO YOU DIDN’T!!!!!)

Without a moment’s thought, Christina pulls Teddy’s hair and begins to engage in a knock- down, drag-out girl fight with her.  (kidding again — Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself.)  Instead, Christina caused my jaw to literally drop to the floor by replying, “Fine, then take him.”

And it’s moments like this one that remind me why Grey’s Anatomy and I have remained friends for so long . . .