Tag Archives: Kate Winslet

TV Recappers Anonymous Plays the Less Ambitious Movie Titles (and Taglines) Game!

Oh, the games we play when we’re bored . . .

While getting my daily “news” dosage for the day, I came upon a fun little article in Entertainment Weekly.  It was about this game everybody has apparently been playing on Twitter lately, called #lessambitiousmovies.  Here’s how you play:  (1) Find an “exciting” movie title; (2) change the words around a bit, to make it into a completely mundane (and stupid)  one.  It’s THAT EASY!

Or is it?  You see, I was playing this game with my friends today, when it simultaneously occurred to all of us that most modern day movie titles are already pretty unambitious.  This is even the case for genuinely good movies, with decidedly intricate plotlines.  Think about it.  How could one POSSIBLY further dumb down titles for movies like The Town, Black Swan, Toy Story, Tron and How Do You Know?  Is it just me, or does Hollywood need to take a SERIOUS crash course in creativity?

Gee, I wonder what THIS movie is about!

Nevertheless, my friends and I did come up with a few Less Ambitious Movie Title ideas, which I’ve decided to share with you today because there’s been nothing on TV lately, and I have absolutely NOTHING ELSE TO WRITE ABOUT.  What I’ll do is give you a little intel on the original film first, and then share my “New and Improved” Less Ambitious Version.  Sound good?   OK, here goes . . .

1) Ghostbusters

What it was about:  A bunch of out of work comedians (most of whom used to be on Saturday Night Live) wear khaki jumpsuits, carry around what look like vacuum cleaners, and suck up goblins and ghouls, on the streets of New York City.

Less Ambitious Version: “Roastbusters”

What it’s about NOW:  Ummm . . .  vegetarians, maybe?

New and Improved Tagline:  “I ain’t afraid of no ROAST!” 

2) The Sixth Sense

What it was about:  Little Haley Joel Osment sees dead people (SPOILER ALERT:  Bruce Willis may be one of them.)

Less Ambitious Version: “The Six Cents”

What it’s about NOW:  The pocket change you always have on hand, but are perpetually forgetting to use . . .

New and Improved Tagline:  “The heartwarming tale of Nickel and his good pal, Penny (based on a true story).”

3) Die Hard

What it was about:  Bruce Willis, again!  This time he’s battling terrorists, shooting people, and blowing sh*t up for two hours, all the while making snarky comments, and flexing his muscles to show us how cool he is.  (In other words, if you are watching this film, and you are female, you may grow a weiner, as a result . . .)

Less Ambitious Version:  “Diet Hard”

What it’s about NOW:  Bruce Willis is really cranky, because all he’s eaten all day is a salad and two peanuts.  So, he starts blowing sh*t up . . .

New and Improved Tagline:  “Twelve extra pounds.  One cop.  The odds are against John McClane.  And he’s STARVING for a donut!”

4)  127 Hours

What it was about:  A hiker gets his arm stuck under a rock for 127 HOURS.  So, he chops it off . . .

Less Ambitious Version: “127 Seconds”

What it’s about NOW:  Do the math.  That’s just a little over two minutes.  It doesn’t really have time to be about anything.  But it WILL star a hot guy . . . because I say so . . . and it’s my movie, dammit!

New and Improved Tagline:  “By the time you finish reading this, the movie will be almost over.”

5) Field of Dreams

What it was about:   A bunch of dead baseball players (including the voice of Darth Vader) tell Kevin Costner to build a baseball field in his backyard.  He does . .  .

Less Ambitious Version:  “Field of Streams”

What it’s about NOW:  Running water, running water, and more running water.

New and Improved Tagline:  “This movie is so good, it will make you pee.”

6) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

What it was about:  Jim Carey had a bad breakup with Kate Winslet.  So, he had her surgically removed from his brain.  I’m not kidding . . .

Less Ambitious Version:  “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Kitchen”

What it’s about NOW:   Jim Carey is a compulsive neat freak, who is obsessed with keeping his kitchen clean . . .

New and Improved Tagline:  “His floors are so clean, you can eat off them.  (But if you do, he’ll KILL YOU!)

7) Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the movie)

What it was about:  A perky cheerleader battles vampires in her California high school.  She also says the word “like” a lot . . .

Less Ambitious Version:  “Buffy the Violin Player”

What it’s about NOW:  It’s kind of self explanatory.  Don’t you think?

New Tagline:  “For all the tools who like to get played, and the girls who like to play them . . .”

8)  Flashdance

What it was about:  A factory working teen tries to become accepted into a prestigious dance school.  She falls in love, in the process (SHOCKER!).

Less Ambitious Version:  “Flashy Pants”

What it’s about NOW:  Hot pink sparkly pants, and the girls who wear them . . .

New and Improved Tagline:  “It’s kind of like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants .  . . except without the ‘sisterhood,’ or the ‘traveling.’  Oh . . . and the pants are WAY sluttier!”

9) The Forty-Year Old Virgin

What it was about:  Steve Carell is a middle aged salesman of electronic equipment, who can’t seem to get himself laid.  Hijinks (not to mention, some REALLY NASTY BACK WAXING) ensue.

Less Ambitious Version:  “The 40-Year Old Merchant”

What it’s about NOW:  Steve Carell sells paper for a company called Dunder Mifflin.  He doesn’t get laid all that often (because he’s kind of a jackass).  But at least he’s not still a virgin!

New and Improved Tagline:  “It’s kind of like Death of a Salesman . . . except nobody dies at the end.”

10)  The King’s Speech

What it was about:  Colin Firth is going to be King, but he stutters like crazy!  Geoffery Rush to the RESCUE!

Less Ambitious Version:  “Larry King’s Speech”

What it’s about now:  It’s not really a movie, per se . . . more like every episode of Larry King Live ever aired .  . . back . . . to back . . . to back.

New and Improved Tagline:  “He may be retired, but he’s still not shutting the hell up . . .”

So, there you have it:  Ten Less Ambititous Movie Titles and Taglines.  Now it’s your turn to play!  (Feel free to leave your “new” film suggestions in the comment section below  .  . .)

[www.juliekushner.com]

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Filed under Less Ambitious Movies, movies, Twitter

Anatomy of a Trailer: Eat, Pray, Love

I read Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir Eat, Pray, Love a couple of years ago, when I was going through a particularly rough patch in my own life.  (I think it is the closest I will EVER come to reading a self-help book.)  Without going into too much detail, I liked it.  Sure, the narrator was a tad whiny and self-absorbed at times.  I also thought that the heavy-handed, kind of preachy (no pun intended), “Pray” section could have been downsized a bit.  However, it was a fast, at-times humorous, and life-affirming read.  And, yes, it did help me a bit with what I was going through at the time.

When I heard they were making the memoir into a movie, and that Julia Roberts had been cast in the “Liz” role,  I was a bit surprised.  The author’s inner struggles just didn’t seem as though they would translate that well to the big screen.  Plus, Julia Roberts seemed too strong, and a bit too long in the tooth, to play the story’s vulnerable and fragile early 30-something protagonist.  I’d always pictured someone more like Kate Winslet in the role.

But, of course, I could be wrong.  It’s not a bad trailer.  The location shots are gorgeous.  Plus, the makeup artists and film stylists did a fairly decent job making Julia Roberts look younger, wispier, and blonder than I have seen her in a while.   And . . . well . . . maybe I should just shut up, and show you the trailer  . . .

:12 – It’s Mr. Miyagi from those old Karate Kid movies!

 . . . oh, wait . . . that’s not him.

:35 –  “When some guy who . . . yes . . . looks a little like Yoda, hands you a prophecy, you have to respond.”

“May the force of big box office bucks be with you, Julia.”

:40 – The wise and sassy best friend . . . a requirement for all Chick Flicks, since the dawn of time.

Because chicks LOVE sassy and wise friends.

:43 – Interesting sidenote:  Did you know that the writer of Eat, Pray, Love was the free-spirited table-dancing bartender who penned the GQ article that inspired this movie?

To be honest, after reading this book, I wouldn’t have thought she had it in her . . . I guess people can change . . .

:58 – “Your underwear, my queen.”

Granny panties

Oh, James Franco, always looking perpetually stoned, no matter what movie you’re in!

I still love you, though . . .

1:19 – This “Julia in a bathtub” scene totally reminds me of that scene from Pretty Woman.

You know, the one where she sings  “Kiss” by Prince, amidst a sea of bubbles . . .

Coincidentally, the film Pretty Woman turned 20 this week.

Another year, and it will be old enough for me to take it bar hopping, without a fake ID . . .

1:42 – Since I was a little girl, I always had a thing for elephants, and secretly wanted one for a pet.

So cute!

It’s probably never going to work out for me, though.  For one thing, I don’t think I could find a pooper scooper big enough (or toilet, for that matter . . .)

2:06 – Who knew Javier Bardem was such a hottie, underneath all that bad No Country for Old Men hair?

But wait, wasn’t Liz’s Bali lover (and now husband) supposed to be older than her?  Like in his 50’s?

Eat, Pray, Love hits theaters August 13, 2010.  Will YOU see it?

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Filed under Book, love, Movie Trailer Recaplets