And They All Lived Crappily Ever After – A Recap of Galavant’s Episodes 7 and 8

It seems like only yesterday (because it more or less was) that we first met Galavant (a singing, pungent-smelling, chicken-loving hero, who looked his absolute best when naked and wet and/or wearing hoodies).

Since then, we’ve ventured with him on a four-week journey to win back the heart of the b*tch he inexplicably loved, and rescue an obscure, sparsely populated kingdom from the clutches of an “Evil” King who was supposed to be The Worst but was actually The Best.

And now here we are at the stunning conclusion of a show that will very likely not be renewed, given its fairly abysmal ratings and the fact that ABC had the genius idea to air its second episode opposite the Golden Globes . . .

But hey, at least we’re guaranteed to get a happy ending right?

OK . . . well, not like a totally happy ending (they need to save some conflict for the rare chance we actually get a Season 2), but some things will surely work out for the best, won’t they?

Like the mutually attractive Galavant and Princess Lots-of-Last-Names will get to begin their courtship in earnest ?

Orrrr . . . Gareth and King Evil Dick will belatedly admit their love for one another and rule their glorious kingdom side by side?

Umm . . . the odious Madalena will finally get what is coming to her?

Galavant will get to have his long-awaited Hero Moment?

Everybody will get to eat more chicken?

Well . . . one out of five ain’t bad! Let’s review shall we?

You can check out the rest of this recap here.

Xanax Makes Everything Better – A Recap of Galavant’s Episodes 5 and 6

Ladies and gentle donkey turds (Madalena’s words, not mine), we have arrived!

After two weeks of Medieval musical foreplay, and countless songs about lady who-ha’s and male ding dongs, Galavant has finally reached his rousing CLIMAX!

This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for! The episode where our hero, and the guy who is supposed to be the villain but is actually MY FAVORITE, meet again in (sort of) epic fashion and prepare to do battle for the heart of . . .

. . . this b*tch . . .

Also this week . . . more guest stars . . . like the guy who made fun of all those Michael Jackson songs in the 80s . . .

And the British version of Steve Carrell’s character on The Office . . .

But most importantly, Daisy from Downton Abbey . . .

Playing the part of . . . well . . . Anna from Downton Abbey . . .

So reign in your horses and hold on to your drawers, because even the cook gets lucky in this hour . . .

You can check out the rest of this recap here.