Rocking OUT at Seattle Grace, Mercy Death! – Some thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy’s Musical Episode “Song Beneath a Song”

If Sue Sylvester and that Kurt Kid show up in this dream, I am SO outta here!

“She works here at Seattle Grace Mercy Death.  So, I’m sure she’s pretty much going to go crazy, or get cancer, or shot by a gunman or hit by a truck,” remarks Alex Karev, this week, upon being asked about the prospects of him and his Latest Love Interest making it for the “long haul.”

That’s right, Karev!  You have TERRIBLE luck with the Ladies on this Show!  And the Ladies on this Show have terrible luck with . . . well . . . EVERYTHING!

Awww . . . remember back when it was just these three . . . and Dead George . . . and Cancer Izzie?  Good times!

This “We’re Hot Doctors, So Why Do Our Lives Consistently Suck So Badly?” sentiment was echoed later in the episode, by Meredith Grey, who, in an uncharacteristically (but oh-so-poignant) emotional elevator scene, turned to her Post-It Note Husband Derek, and said, “The universe is so screwed up, and random, and mean.” 

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Sing it, SISTA!

Speaking of singing . . . you might have noticed that this was the Musical Episode of Grey’s Anatomy.  And WHY was everyone singing, you ask?  Well, because CALLIE TORRES was hit by a truck, of course! 

Believe it, or not.   This actually isn’t as cruel and inappropriate as it sounds!  You see, in Callie’s final moments of consciousness, before she LITERALLY left her body (a coping mechanism, employed by her traumatized brain, to cope with the pain of the accident), she managed to utter the word “music.”  And it was “music” that enabled Callie’s mind to understand what was happening to her and her unborn child, while being given the opportunity to connect with the people she loved. 

Because, if Callie Torres’ Extra Special Vagina Vote wants to see Singing Hallucinations of her Friends, while she’s on the operating table, Callie is going to GET Singing Hallucinations, dammit!

Now . . . the fact that ONE of those hallucinations featured all of the Grey’s couples BONING one another, while happily singing “Running on Sunshine,” as Callie NEARLY BLED TO DEATH on the operating table . . . THAT was cruel and inappropriate!

“I feel like there’s something I should be doing right now . . . besides you .  . . and I can’t, for the life of me, remember what it is!”

“HELLO!  IT’S ME . . . CALLIE!  DYING HERE!  You think maybe one of you Strapping Specimens of Men could put it back in your pants long enough to  . . . I don’t know . . . save MY LIFE?”

Of course, most of the singing during the episode was brought to the fans, courtesy of Callie, herself.  Consequently, this gave actress Sara Ramirez (who has a background in theater, and even won a Tony for her performance in Spamalot, back in 2005) the opportunity to flex her musical pipes for fans, like me, who have never had the chance to hear her sing before.  Of all of Sara’s performances during the hour, my favorite, was probably her cover of Brandi Carlile’s “The Story.” Callie sang this uplifting tune in the final moments of the episode, moments before waking up, FOR REAL, and belatedly accepting Arizona’s initially ill-fated marriage proposal.

“I’ll marry you . . . yes.”

As for the rest of the episode, it was kind of a mixed bag for me.  Interestingly enough, my favorite moments from the episode were mostly the non-musical ones.  These included the marriage proposal acceptance, shown here, and Meredith’s emotional elevator breakdown, shown above.  I also adored the quiet moments of friendship and understanding shared between Lexie and Mark during the episode (“I don’t hate you.”), and the less quiet ones between Arizona and Mark.  (“You are not nothing.”) 

Speaking of Mark Sloan, Eric Dane’s heart-wrenching performance this week was top notch . . . the best I’ve seen from the actor at least, while still wearing all his clothes in a long time.

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(Oh . . . and, for the record, his singing voice is pretty awesome too.)

The Arizona / Callie / Mark triangle took a major step in the right direction tonight, with Arizona FINALLY learning to put their baby’s needs first (By the way, it’s a GIRL!), and Mark FINALLY learning to put Callie’s needs first.  It was Callie’s and Mark’s respective shifts in ideology that brought about the truce that ultimately binded these heretofore perpetually-at odds-characters together, toward the end of the episode.

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A similar ideological shift happened for Lexie, who, upon taking a step outside of her own personal melodrama, for a change, was finally able to, if not necessarily forgive Mark for his “Unfortunate Sperm Donation”  . . .

“We were ON A BREAK!”

 . . . at least, accept it enough to support him in his Hour of Need.

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And it was that acceptance, that ultimately gave Lexie the courage to truly give her budding relationship with the SUPER FLY Jackson Avery a fighting chance to survive, in the long term.

More of THAT, please!

Speaking of Lexie, Chyler Leigh’s rendition of Anna Nalick’s 2 A.M. Breathe, was extremely impressive, especially considering the actress had no musical training before filming this episode.  Of all the songs that wound their way into the hour, this one (in my opinion, at least) came about the most naturally, in terms of the episode’s plotline.  And, as a result, it seemed the least forced.

Less believable for me was Gyno Lucy (I’m still not feeling this character . . . or her relationship with Karev, for that matter . . . AT ALL!) . . .

Dr. McUselessPlotDevice

 . . . and her sudden admission that she was “out of her depth” in taking care of the pregnant Callie.  Presumably, Lucy’s temporary bout of Selective Amnesia for Everything She Learned in Medical School only occurred, so that Saint Addison Montgomery could miraculously (and oh-so-conveniently) be flown into town to Save the Day, as per usual. 

(By the way, is there something in Kate Walsh’s Private Practice contract that REQUIRES Shondra Rhimes to inexplicably include her about every fourth Grey’s episode for NO REASON WHATSOEVER?)

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Oh . . . and don’t even get me started on Teddy’s random and out-of-character outburst directed toward Cristina.  Silly Yang!  How DARE she have the NERVE to come up with a plan to save Callie’s and her baby’s” lives, without Teddy patting her on the head, and giving her a lollipop, first!  “I can’t teach you, anymore,” Teddy huffed, before blowing Cristina a raspberry, sticking her thumb in her mouth, and running out of the room, crying.

First of all, when was the last time Teddy actually TAUGHT Cristina? 

“It was . . . no that wasn’t it . . . Well, then it had to be . . . no, that wasn’t it either.  Perhaps, it . . . no.  I’m stumped.”

While we are on the subject of Teddy, when did Callie’s near death experience suddenly become all about Dr. McMajorStickUpHer Ass’s inferiority complex, and need to be hero worshipped by all people, at all times?

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Be careful, Noel from Felicity!  Cristina may have to work with her, but YOU’RE the one who’s going to have to evenually take her home!

“I am SO screwed!”

And while I thought it was appropriate and rather cheesy fitting, that the episode climaxed (Yes, I intended for that to sound dirty.), with the entire cast singing The Fray’s “How to Save a Life,” I couldn’t help but wonder why saving Callie’s life REQUIRED the whole cast.  I shudder to imagine what the heck was happening to the OTHER 3,000 or so patients DYING in the hospital, while all of Seattle Grace’s finest medical experts were busy enjoying their impromptu karaoke session . . .

“The good news is, if they bring in another Crazed Gunman, he will know exactly where to find us all!”

Speaking of karaoke, I also probably could have done with a FEW less songs packed into the hour.  (I mean, you’ve gotta leave SOMETHING over for the sequel, right, Shondra Rhimes?)  Because one Kevin McKidd solo is cool.   Two is OK . . . but FOUR?  I mean . . . let’s face it, Justin Timberlake, he’s definitely NOT!

Though, admittedly, a Dick in the Box cover would have REALLY spiced things up a bit for this episode . . .

Maybe next time, McKidd!

All in all, I thought Grey’s experiment with musicality was an intriguing little exercise, the making of which obviously took a great deal of preparation, courage, and considerable “guts,” on the part of Shondra Rhimes, and her intrepid staff of “Greysies.”  And, although the hour wasn’t necessarily positively received by all who viewed it, it certainly sparked more “water cooler” and online conversations about the show, than I’ve heard “through the grapevine” in a while . . .

So, what did YOU think about Grey’s Big Musical Extravaganza?  Did it leave you tapping your feet, and begging for more . . .

. . . or holding your ears, and begging for mercy?

Feel free to sound off in the comments section, below.

[www.juliekushner.com]

THANK YOU, Grey’s Anatomy (and Jesse Williams a.k.a. Jackson Avery)!

Now THAT’s ANATOMY!

I have a teensy confession to make.  I’ve been neglecting Grey’s Anatomy a bit, lately.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I adore the show, and HAVE adored it since it premiered back in 2004.  I’ve just been getting a smidge bogged down with my other television recapping obligations.  And, for whatever reason, this has been one of the shows that has slipped under my radar, in recent weeks . . .

I probably deserved that, Lexie!

But then came Thursday night’s episode, entitled “P.Y.T (Pretty Young Thing),” and its introduction of the new, highly shippable, potential pairing of the brilliant, quirky, and a tad over-excitable, Lexie Grey, with the Dreamy-Eyed Body God of Porcelain Perfection, Jackson Avery. 

I may or may not have done something like THIS, when it happened on my screen . . .

Ever since Jackson Avery entered my Grey’s world a few seasons back, I’ve been cursing the television writer gods for (1) NEVER allowing his character to be part of the satisfactory pairing he so richly deserves; and (2) rarely ever allowing him to TAKE OFF HIS SHIRT . . .

(And by “rarely ever” I mean, “not EVERY WEEK”  . . . and, therefore, “NOT NEARLY ENOUGH.”) 

But times, they are a-changin’ on Grey’s Anatomy.  And Jackson?  He’s a-undressin’ . . . slowly, and sensually, like the enchanting Doctor-by-Day / Male Stripper-by-Night, we all know he COULD be.  So, if my hunch is correct, we will be seeing a whole lot more of HIM, and that half-nude beautiful body of his, on-screen, in coming weeks.  And for that, we have THIS girl to thank . . .

 .  . . for being so charming, funny, and currently, so very vulnerable.  We also have THIS GUY to thank . . .

 . . . for (1) knocking up his Lesbian Bestie, Callie; (2) not telling his girlfriend, Lexie, about it, until it was WAY TOO LATE ; and (3)  inadvertently, setting the wheels in motion for this inevitable relationship.

So, why am I so excited about a Lexie and Avery coupling . . . aside from the OBVIOUS, of course?

Well, for starters, this pairing has begun precisely the way I like my ships to begin: with HER involved with someone else, and him pining for her quietly, and miserably, on the sidelines — his crystalline blue-green eyes, filled with unrequited attraction, longing and loneliness . . .  (I guess that makes me a sadist?)

Or maybe just a Hot-ist?

Lexie, like many of the female characters in my prized SHIPS, is going through her own angst, right now.  She’s feeling angry, alienated, and betrayed by the man she loves.  And, as a result, she is COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS to her new suitor’s affection for her.  (She’s also, apparently, blind . . .)

Then again . . . maybe not so blind . . .

Would someone please retrieve Lexie’s panties from the floor and mine?

For those of you who are thinking that Jackson’s attraction for Lexie began just this week . . . well . . . I beg to differ  .  . .

 And for those of you who are assuming that this is the first time Lexie (who’s Jackson’s ROOMMATE, after all!) has been mesmerized by the Good Doctor’s hot half-naked body . . . well . . . I would have to disagree . . .

No sense reaching out to grab IT Lexie, IT already left the room, 5 minutes ago, to take a shower . . . But if you run in there right now, you might be able to catch IT . . .

Up until this point, Lexie’s and Jackson’s attraction to one another, has always been something alluded to subtly . . . every few episodes or so . . . but never specifically addressed.  However, this week, was the first time we really got to see Jackson and Lexie connect on an emotional level.  Sure, Jackson may have started talking up Lexie, and plying her with chocolates, because his “boss” promised to provide him with career opportunities, if he did so . . .   (Yeah, because THAT’s not inappropriate, at all!) 

“No, Mark Sloan!  I will not be in a threesome with you and Lexie, no matter how many times you ask!”

And yet, by the episode’s end, Jackson’s desire to support Lexie during her time of need took on a whole new meaning for him, entirely.  As a result, those temporarily dormant feelings that he had, deep down, always possessed for her, bubbled to the surface once again . . .

Now Jackson is HUNGRY for Lexie’s . . . chocolate.

You can watch the bloomings of this new and incredible SHIP, right here, right now, by clicking on the link below  . . . (You’re welcome!)

And as for you, Grey’s Anatomy?  Rest assured you have regained my FULL and UNDIVIDED attention, once again!

[www.juliekushner.com]

Fishing, Fistulas and Fake Marriages – A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Adrift and at Peace”

Cristina really wanted to catch a fish.  So, Derek threw one at her . . .

This week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy featured two marriage proposals, two (sort of) couple reunions, two hot new cast members, and one REALLY BIG FISH!

Not bad for a single hour of television, right?  Let’s recap!

 There’s No CRYING in Fishing!

When the episode opens, Meredith is nagging Derek about his decision to take Cristina fishing, on his day off.  While Meredith might very well be concerned about Cristina’s emotional state, her PTSD, how gosh darn frustrating and annoying her character has become since The Shooting, and her sudden inability to practice medicine, she seems most worried about Cristina’s bodily functions.  “There’s no bathroom,” whines Meredith.

Clearly, in addition to all the other things PTSD has done to Cristina, it has also made her incontinent . . .

Don’t leave home without them . . .

Ignoring Meredith’s plaintive potty pleas, Derek takes Cristina out on the lake for an exciting afternoon of sitting in a boat and stroking poles.  Cristina tries to impress Derek with all of her newly acquired fishing knowledge.  But Derek basically tells her to shut the hell up.

“Be quiet, or I will CUT YOU!  I’ve done time in the pokey, you know . . .”

Then Cristina catches a BIG FISH . . .

 . . . which makes her cry . . .

“I just pooped in my pants.”

 . . . and makes Derek smile.

“Haha, Owen has to sleep with Poopy Pants tonight!”

Luckily, the moment was captured on camera!

Because, who wouldn’t want to remember a thing like that?  (ME!)

Apparently, Cristina’s dramatic tears are supposed to represent progress in her “Journey Back to Mental Health” or something . . . At least, that’s what Meredith and Derek think . . .

Then again, they aren’t the ones who have to sleep with Poopy Pants . . .

“Thanks a lot, A$$holes!”

Speaking of A$$holes . . .

Wanna Play the Blame Game?

Meredith and Owen have been bickering like an old married couple, because Meredith thinks Owen is “letting Cristina fall apart, and doing nothing about it” (which he is).  And Owen thinks Meredith is a “reckless suicidal wackadoo, who asked a psychotic gunman to shoot her” (which she also is).  Owen even goes so far as to kick Meredith out of his ER!  There is obviously some angry sexual tension here.  But if the writers of this show ever make Meredith and Owen cheat on their respective spouses, and hookup, I will be SUPER PISSED! 

Just sayin’ . . .

Sex with you makes me sad!

Do I have to break out the Rubber Duckie again?

If there was a book of things you should never say to your lover . . .

 . . . “Sex with you makes me sad,” would be on the first page . . . and “while I’m having sex with you, I think about [insert name here] would be on the second.  Nevertheless, these are the words Callie and Sloan exchange with one another, after a morning of sharing hot showers.  After, Callie kicks Sloan out of the shower . . .

 . . . and he “recovers” . . .

 . . . Dr. McSteamy becomes determined to win back Lexie, a girl who doesn’t get sad from screwing him.  First, Sloan does Lexie a sexual medical favor, in exchange for her agreeing to get a drink with him at Joe’s.  Lexie doesn’t really want to go out with Sloan.  So, she tells Avery to interrupt the date, and make an excuse as to why she must leave.

(Unfortunately, Avery was dressed at the time . . .)

Then, Sloan chats with a patient, who started to date her now-husband, because he kissed her while “bowling” ( not a sexual euphemism, sadly), and was a “Really Good Kisser.”

So, when Lexie arrives at the bar, and starts babbling on-and-on about why she can’t date Mark again, he does this .  . .

And, suddenly, Lexie is in luuuuuuuuuuuve again.  Then, Avery arrives . . .

Sorry, Avery!  It looks like you’re stuck with me! 🙂

Eat My Door, Arizona!

“And no, that is NOT a euphemism for sexual favors either . . .”

Callie’s still feeling like crap this week, because her girlfriend, Arizona, dumped her for Africa.  And because she wants to let everyone know that she’s “Still Awesome,” Callie commandeers Alex to help her perform a new non-invasive type of hip surgery on a patient, who has a majorly annoying wife . . .

Alex and Callie rock the surgery . . .

But Alex still wants to specialize in Pediatrics.  So, he turns down Callie’s offer to train him as a Bone Specialist.

Callie:  “Why are doctors who like kids always dumping my ass?”

Speaking of doctors who like kids and dump Callie’s ass, Arizona shows up at Callie’s door toward the end of the episode.  But, rather than apologize for breaking her heart and leaving her ass that the airport, Arizona just tells Callie she missed her a lot, and decided to leave Africa, because not having sex with Callie “made her sad.”

“That’s all you’ve got to say for yourself, B*tch?”

So, Callie slams the door in Arizona’s face, and goes back to rubbing her duckie . . . solo . . .

Marry Me, Noel Crane!

“What will Felicity say?”

Nice Guy, Noel Crane from that old show Felicity has a pretty bad tumor, and has maxed out his health insurance  .  . .

So, he asks his girlfriend, who is NOT named Felicity, to marry him, so that he can get her PPO.  (That’s not a sexual euphemism either . . . sorry!)  NotFelicity ultimately turns Noel Crane down because she is a heinous b*tch. 

Teddy, who is feeling kind of crappy about the whole “Cristina has PTSD” thing, and recognizes that her own character has been generally unlikeable for quite some time now tries to get the hospital to take on Noel Crane’s treatment pro bono.

But THIS GUY says “NO.”

“You can hate me if you want, but I’ve got my SAG card now . . . and no one is taking that away from me.”

So, Teddy asks Noel Crane to marry her and use her health insurance.  Noel Crane says “Yes” . . .

(Somewhere in TV Land, Felicity Porter is crying her eyes out . . .)

“This is worse than the time I got that bad haircut, and everyone stopped watching my show . . .”

In other, New Hot Cast Member news . . .

Greetings, Nurse Panty Dropper!

Making sponge baths fun for TWELVE YEARS!

Bailey is still obsessed with fistulas, ever since Mandy Moore croaked from them . . .

 (well . . . not really . . . but on this show she did!).  Now, Bailey’s got her residents investigating various ways to prevent fistulas.  But they are taking WAY too long in doing so.  So, Bailey gets an idea . . .

After seeing how awed the residents are by watching Bailey extract a gallbladder through a patient’s mouth . . .

 . . . Bailey asks Lexie if she would like the opportunity to do the same thing on her own.  Lexie says she wants it about as much as she used to want a pony when she was a kid . . . In other words, she wants it A LOT!  April (who now has a new hair color, which makes her look like kind of like those old Strawberry Shortcake dolls) . . .

 . . . brags that she worked hard when she was a kid, and actually got herself a pony . . .

April’s Little Pony

Anyway, Bailey tells her “pony-loving” Fistula Research Crew that the resident who’s patient doesn’t get fistulas will win the opportunity to pull a gallbladder out of somebody’s mouth . . .

But NONE of the residents can prevent the fistulas!  You know who DOES prevent the fistulas though?  THIS GUY . . .

I’m talking about hot half naked guy on the left with the BIG Hose!  (Unfortunately, he was dressed at the time . . .)

When Bailey asks Nurse Panty Dropper (that’s my new name for the dude pictured above), why he insisted on removing a patient’s “tube,” despite Lexie’s request that he leave it in for two more days, Nurse Panty Dropper replies that he is not just a “Pretty Face” he is a Majorly Hot Body too!  In fact, Nurse Panty Dropper has been removing tubes from patients for twelve years, and they never got fistulas. 

In other words, “Butt Out, BAILEY!  I’ve got this sh*t under control!”

Upon reviewing Nurse Panty Dropper’s records, Bailey learns that he ALWAYS removes the tube in question after THREE DAYS, instead of FIVE.  And it is this early tube removal that apparently prevents fistulas.  GO FIGURE!

Bailey is very happy!

“I CURED FISTULAS!”  She shouts triumphantly, interrupting the Chief’s board meeting to share the happy news.  (Ummmm . . . actually Bailey, Nurse Panty Dropper cured fistulas, you just kind of watched . . .)

Bailey is so thankful for Nurse Panty Dropper and his Hot Bod of Sin miraculous medical techniques, that when he asks her out on a date, she says, “OK . . . because you gave me Day 3.”

“And because I’m very handsome,” adds Nurse Panty Dropper.

Bailey nods shyly at Nurse Panty Dropper’s assessment.  Then she butt wiggles away, so he can get a nice shot of her rearview.  And why the heck not?  She’s just had the BEST DAY EVER!

Well, that was “Adrift and at Peace” in a nutshell.  And . . . since there are no new episodes of Grey’s Anatomy until January . . .

 . . . I leave you with this promo, to wet your whistle for what’s to come . . .

See you next year!

[www.juliekushner.com]

When the going gets tough, the tough get WASTED! – A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Slow Night, So Long”

For me, tonight’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy was all about friendship.  After all, EVERYBODY needs friends!  Friends are the people who will quietly support you, when you need it most . . .

They will not judge you for making mistakes, but are still there to pick up the pieces, after the damage has been done.

Friends are willing to misbehave with you . .  . especially, when that misbehavior is for a good cause.

They will hold your hair back for you, when you puke . . .

And sometimes . . . just sometimes . . . your friends will give you the Best F*&k of Your LIFE!

So, without further adieu, let’s reconnect with some friends, throw back a few shots, and settle in for a “Slow Night, So Long.”

Cristina Gets a New Job, and the Seattle Grace Attendings Get a NIGHT LIFE!

If you’re like me, you might have often wondered how, throughout seven seasons of Grey’s Anatomy, the main cast never ONCE seemed to work different shifts from one another.  Initially, I figured that either one of two things was occurring: (1) the cast all worked at the hospital for 23.5 hours (The last half an hour was always spent either at Meredith’s house, or at Joe’s bar.); or (2) at 7 p.m. sharp, the ENTIRE cast left Seattle Grace; at which point, the hospital was immediately overrun by  . . . UGLY DOCTORS. 

The HORROR!

This week’s installment of Grey’s Anatomy provided me with a third, more rational, rational explanation.  It appears that, on occasion, the staff at Seattle Grace does work alternating shifts.  We just don’t often get to see it . . .

On this particular night, all the attendings were off duty, having worked the Day Shift.  So while the “Adults” headed to Joe’s Bar to drink some “Early Onset Alzheimers” shots, and get nice and sh*tfaced . . .

 . . . the “Kids” (i.e. the residents) were forced to put in some serious time at the hospital.

Upon arriving at Joe’s bar, the attendings quickly learned that Joe had hired a new bartender . . . one who has clearly never been to a frat party, or tapped a keg before.

“When Owen asked Cristina to ‘Give Him Head,’ this wasn’t exactly what he had in mind . . .”

 
Do you remember when a newly PTSD’ed Cristina asked Owen if he would still love her, if she was a plumber?

I wonder if his answer applied to “bartender,” as well . . .

It was nice seeing Seattle Grace’s typically “serious” attendings let their hair down for once.  I liked seeing a very tipsy Bailey talk about relationships, and how important it was for her to find a man who “knew about fistulas.”

Fistula?  I barely know ya!

And I cringed at Teddy’s exploits with online dating . . .

Match.conned

And yet, while the older doctors were knocking back a few drinks and marveling at Cristina Yang’s superb bartending skills (or lack thereof), there was work to be done at the hospital . . .

Alex Karev is a Peds GOD /  Dr. Stark is a Peds AssHat

“Hey!  I resemble that remark.”

Last week, Alex and April had to suffer the terror that was working with the EEEEEEVVVILLL Doctor Stark.  Now it is Meredith’s turn.  While Stark is out enjoying a nice dinner, Meredith is coping with a young patient, who is experiencing severe stomach pains.  The patient’s mother, who is a nurse at Seattle Grace, knows from personal experience that these type of pains aren’t normal, following the procedure the child just underwent.  So, she requests that Meredith contact Dr. Stark ASAP.

However, when Dr. Stark does arrive, he explains away the pains the child is experiencing, as being due to “gas.”  Honestly, it’s not all that surprising that a windbag like Stark would make such a flippant diagnosis — especially, given his unofficial middle name.

And yet, after Dr. Stark leaves, the child’s pains continue.  So, Meredith decides to run some tests on the child to definitively rule out “gas,” before calling Stark again.  The only problem is the lab technician is backed up, and isn’t able to get the results back to Meredith in a timely fashion.   So, the patient’s mother rats Meredith out to the Chief.

“What you talkin’ about Meredith?”

Fortunately, for the young patient, the Chief rips the technician a new one.  And, VOILA!  The test results become immediately available.  “That’s how you get things done at night!”  The Chief exclaims triumphantly.

Unfortunately, however, the test results show the child needs surgery.   And Dr. Stark, of course, cannot or will not answer his phone.  So, Meredith wisely consults with New Peds GOD, Alex on the case . . .

Alex Karev – King of the Tiny Humans!

So, together, Alex and Meredith assemble their OWN OR Team, and conduct surgery on the child BY THEMSELVES! (“Because that’s how you get things done at night!”)  The surgery ends up going swimmingly, of course.  And the Chief swells with the prides of knowing that his “kids have grown up.”

The Big Guy even has it in him to laugh hysterically at Dr. Douche, as the latter reams Meredith and Alex a new one, for having the NERVE to perform a surgery on their own, without waiting for him to swoop in, and take credit for their hard work , like he did last time . . .

“And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for THOSE DARN KIDS!”

On Drunk Dialing, and Taking that “Maiden Voyage”

“Does EVERYBODY on this show know I’m a virgin?  Now, I’m NEVER going to get LAID!”

Poor April!  It’s bad enough she has to live with Alex, and see him EVERY day, after the couple’s Botched Sex Attempt.  Now, it seems she’s being bombared with talk of happy couples, at every turn!  It all starts with her encountering a pair of Teens in Love, who have Krazy Glued their arms together, upon hearing that the boy’s family is about to move to a different state.

Just because it’s called Krazy Glue, doesn’t mean you have to use it to do  “Crazy Things.”

Having obviously had no experience in these sort of manners, April has no idea how to “unstick” the “happy couple.”  She seeks the suggestions of her colleagues (well . . . except  forAlex), and tries multiple solutions, but to no avail.  But leave it to a drunken Bailey to save the day!  “Just mix a little soap and warm water in with the Acetone,” slurs Bailey matter-of-factly.  “Works like a charm.”

“You may not know this, but I was quite Freaky Deaky, in my day.”

Later, while April is caring for an enebriated Bailey, and trying to keep her from “drunk dialing” her ex . . .

“You’d drunk dial too, if this man had screwed YOU!”

. . . Bailey decides that “medical” advice is not the only thing that April needs, she needs relationship advice too.  “You are a virgin,” Bailey reminds an embarrassed April for about the 500th time this season.  “And Alex Karev is not the boy you want to take your Maiden Voyage with.”

(Maiden Voyage, huh?  Is that what the cool kids are calling it nowadays?)

 That’s so very true, Bailey.  After all, a “Maiden Voyage” with Alex is like a “Maiden Voyage” on the Titanic.   And we all know how THAT ended . . .

OOPS!

An uninhibited Bailey goes on to wax nostalgic about her past relationship with Ben “the Gas Man,” how strongly she felt for him, and what a ROCKSTAR he was in the sack.  Bailey assures April that she too will one day find some one who she loves enough to “be glued to” forever.  

Of course, this is Grey’s Anatomy we are talking about here.  So, I suspect Bailey is correct in her assessment of April. 

And yet, based on what I’ve read, a new love interest is in store for Bailey as well . . . 

Well, hello there, Mr. Daniel Sunjata.  I look forward to getting to know YOU better VERY SOON . . .

Well . . . that’s definitely a start!

Speaking of Men Who Look Good With Their Shirts Off . . .

Mark Sloan — Callie’s “new roommate,” since her breakup with Arizona — has been encouraging Callie to cope with her breakup, by indulging in some “Sexual Sorbet.”

Is that a banana in your sherbert, or are you just happy to see me?

Deciding to take her best friend’s advice, at Joe’s Bar, Callie approaches a woman, who has been eyeing her all night . . .

Unfortunately, the woman in question ended up only being interested in Callie’s hair style, not her body. 

So, when a vulnerable and toasted Callie arrives home that night, she gets herself the next best thing to Sexual Sorbet . . .

A Banana Surprise!

Speaking of OTHER Men Who Look Good With Their Shirts Off . . .

With the exception of a brief shot of Avery waking up from Night Terrors, during the opening moments of the episode, Dr. Hotness kept his clothes on for most of the hour . . .

However, he DID almost single-handedly save the life of one of a pair of brothers, who, brilliantly tried to “out drive” an oncoming train. He also made some headway toward a new relationship with his crush Lexie.

“When I asked you to ‘open your heart to me,’ this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind . . .”

You see, I mentioned before that Avery saved ONE brother from being killed, as a result of a Horrific Train Accident.  What I didn’t mention was that the other one died.  In discussing, how the surviving brother, and his parents, would cope with that loss, Avery indirectly admitted that his Night Terrors and “acting out” of late have been the result of his own Survivor’s Guilt following The Shooting.

Way to recognize your true feelings Dr. Hotness . . . how very In Treatment of you!

In Other News . . .

Dr. McDreamy may NOT have won People Magazine’s  Sexiest Man Alive for 2010 . . .

 . . . but he did win a grant to begin his Alzheimer’s research!  He also proved himself to be a very good friend to Cristina, silently supporting the ALREADY FIRED errant bartender, as she did WAY TOO MANY shots with some random dudes from a Bachelor Party . . .

 . . . and danced around the bar like a TOTAL HO BAG!

In fact, Derek silently watched and protected a Drunk and Clearly Vulnerable Cristina (who REALLY NEEDS TO BE IN THERAPY!  HELLO!),  until Owen arrived at the bar to literally carry his wife home.

Once home, it was Owen’s turn to support Cristina and her “new religion,” by helping her “pray to porcelain God.”

Ummm, Cristina?  I hate to break this to you, but . . . that’s not a pillow . . .

Hey, that’s what friends are for, right?

[www.juliekushner.com]