Anyone out there who thinks that the writers of Mad Men don’t care about their fans, clearly hasn’t watched the show’s last two episodes. Last week, Matt Weiner & Co., showed their love, by offering up one of the best-written, most hilarious, and most poignant hours on television of all time. This week, that same group of writers chose, as a framing device for their episode, the image of a half-naked Jon Hamm, swimming laps in a crystal clear pool.
It just doesn’t get much better than that, Folks!
Tonight’s installment of Mad Men was, more or less, split into three distinct storylines: (1) Don Draper’s first brave steps in the Wonderful World of Relative Sobriety, and his attempts to “tame” the three blondes in his life;
(2) Betty’s temper tantrum, as a result of seeing Don out with another woman, who is basically her doppelganger (minus a few years);
(3) and Joan’s struggles with her her husband leaving for Vietnam, and with office bullying.
So, what are we waiting for? Let’s dive in, shall we?
The Often-Unappreciated Art of Navel Gazing
Sometimes, I find it a curse to be so damn attractive. For example, this morning I was two whole hours late for work — all because I couldn’t stop staring at myself in the bathroom mirror. And all those WOMEN! And all that SEX! A guy can only have so much sex! You know, I’m not in my twenties anymore. I often have nightmares that, one day, the darn thing will just shrivel up and fall off . . .
“When a man walks into a room, he brings his whole life with him,” Don writes in the opening moments of the episode.
As he ruminates on the meaning of life, we are treated to alternating shots of our Sexy Scribe: alone in his apartment; swimming laps at the local pool (yay!); and taking a few moments to bask in the summer sun, on his way to work.
Given the vast amount of guffaws and snorts he and Peggy had at Roger’s expense last week, I would hate to think Don is hypocritcally self-indulgent enough to draft his own memoir. (Although, admittedly, THAT would probably be a pretty juicy read.)
No. I actually think Don’s daily journal writings serve much the same purpose as his daily visits to the pool. They are meant to re-instill in his life a certain amount of discipline, and to help him organize his recently liquor-clouded thoughts.
“They say, as soon as you have to cut down on your drinking, you have a drinking problem,” Don posits, via voiceover.
Admitting THAT to himself, must have been a real punch in the face . . .
Through Don’s narrative, we not only learn how flowery his writing can be, when he’s not pitching advertisements, we also learn that he never graduated high school. While it is obvious that this is a source of embarrassment for Don, and yet another skeleton in his closet, upon learning this, I couldn’t help but once again be impressed by how far Don came in life, despite such vastly humble beginnings. “Drinking Problem” or not, you can’t take that away from him.
But, alas, it is tough to be sober in an office full of drunks — particularly when you have an enabling secretary, like Miss. Blankenship.
Since she has started working as Don’s secretary, regularly refreshing the Executive’s booze supply, is probably the ONLY task she HASN’T screwed up . . . unfortunately.
“I’m set!” Don growls, as Miss Blankenship offers him what looks like the entire top shelf of the local sports bar, thereby threatening to erase ALL the progress Don exhibited during the aforementioned earlier scenes.
“You are . . . and then you’re NOT,” retorts Dame Edna, fresh off a cataract surgery, which, if it is at all possible, seems to have left her even blinder than before, despite her claims to the contrary.
“Bring that stuff back to the store, and get me some cigarettes,” demands Don.
Ahhh, spoken like a true AA member . . .
And yet, unlike the members of that organization, Don has NOT quick drinking cold turkey. To do so at a place like SCDP would, at best raise eyebrows, and, at worst, isolate Don from his colleagues. (Speaking of Outcasted Sober Dudes, where has Freddy Rumsen been lately?)
Singing karaoke at the local cabaret, perhaps?
Don’s daily battles against the All-Mighty Bottle were perhaps best exhibited in a scene where he, Peggy, Ken and Stan were ironing out a new pitch idea for Mountain Dew. The world literally went silent for Don, as he stared at Peggy’s pouty lips. In all my naivety, I initially wondered whether the Dapper Don had recently fallen for our Peppy Peggy, as a result of their intense bonding session last week . . .
. . . but then, when he started eying Ken’s and Stan’s lips too (as well as the ice clinking against the inner rims of their scotch glasses), I knew I had been mistaken.
Meanwhile, Don learns that Baby Gene (Toddler Gene?)’s Second Birthday Party is the upcoming Sunday, and Papa D is not invited. In fact, he has been explicitly dis-invited, both by Betty . . .
My people are Nordic.
and Betty’s new husband, the increasingly dour, Henry Francis.
My people are A**holes.
To Don’s credit, rather than stewing over this, he spends his evenings dating people who look suspiciously like Betty . . .
“Every time I go out with you, it feels like we are on a first date.”
“Which one are you again?”
To help refresh Don’s memory as to who she is, Bethany does something to Don in the backseat of the cab that I can’t really tell you about here. This is a Family Blog, after all. I CAN show you, however.
Just substitute the bottle for an overused part of Don’s anatomy . . .
“To be continued,” coos Bethany lasciviously, as she crawls over Don to get out of the cab. (Good lord! I hope she didn’t leave any “unfinished business” behind!)
Sexually satisfied, but clearly unimpressed, Don writes in his diary, “I bet she spent all night coming up with that line.”
Then, just to show he’s a “true gentleman” with “no ill intentions” he finishes off the entry with a wishful thinking passage about Bethany’s bunkmates at the Barbizon hotel “touching themselves to sleep.”
Yeah . . . you stay classy, Don Draper!
Also touching herself to sleep, while dreaming of Don is THIS LADY . . .
. . . who I’ve referred to only as “Marketing Research Lady” since this season began; because, honestly, she never seemed all that important. However, now that she has officially become Don’s Next Conquest, the character will hereinafter be referred to by her REAL name, Faye. Don and Faye are working on something together in the office (But I don’t know what, because I’m still not 100% clear as to what exactly it is this woman DOES), when he suggests they relocate to a restaurant somewhere nearby.
Having struck out quite a few times with Faye in the past, Don knew he had the Green Light this time, because he overheard Faye breaking up with her boyfriend because . . . she doesn’t cook.
(Hey Don! I don’t cook either. Would you like to go out with ME? :))
“Just so we’re clear here. You are asking me out to dinner?” Faye inquires, in a thick New Jersey Mob Princess accent that would make Carmela Soprano proud.
“Oh Donny! This one’s a REAL KEEP-AH!”
Don admits that, yes, he is asking her out on a date. So, Faye suggests something a bit more formal, and non-work related. That night, the pair go out someplace fancy. And I’ve gotta say, if Don’s and Bethany’s dates always seem like first, Don’s and Faye’s first date seemed much more like a THIRD, if you know what I mean. 😉 The two engaged in genuinely intelligent conversation, both revealing bits of their personal lives to one another. Don even discussed his guilt over not being able to attend Baby Gene’s birthday.
In the taxi on the way home, like Bethany, Faye also started getting VERY friendly with our Don Juan Draper.
Well . . . maybe not THAT friendly.
Unlike Bethany, however, Faye doesn’t seem to be the “To Be Continued” type. Instead, she immediately asks Don where his apartment is . . .
And he DENIES HER!
Remember, this is a man who, last week, probably wouldn’t have denied sex to a Friendly Armadillo . . .
Don tells Faye that he’s going to just walk her to her door. “Because that’s all I can do right now. I’m not ready to say Good Night, yet.”
Awwww! Look who’s being a Real Gentleman for a change! YOU GO DON!
These actually belong to Faye . . .
In yet another mature moment for the episode, Don cathartically tosses away the items he had in storage in Betty’s garage . . .
. . . and attends Baby Gene’s Birthday Party!
That’s a WHOLE LOTTA self improvement, for a guy who, just last week, was puking on himself, and losing fist fights to Duck Phillips!
Baby Betty Needs a Bottle
“But Dad HENRRRRYYYYY! You said we could go to the CANDY STORE after dinner. I WANT CANNNNNNDDDDY!”
The Honeymoon Period is SO over, at the Francis / Draper residence! This fact becomes more than evident, when Henry takes Betty to a business dinner with an important political consultant, and the group has a run-in with Don and Bethany . . .
Betty basically flips out. She’s uncommonly icy (even for HER) to Henry’s important dinner guest, drinks gimlets like a fish throughout the meal, and then rushes off to hide in a bathroom stall, until the meal is over. In the car on the way home, Henry spanks Betty and sends her to Time Out accuses her of being a child, a wino, and a drunk, who is not over her first marriage. (Awww, how sweet!)
The next morning, a very hungover and bleary-eyed Betty apologizes profusely for her bad behavior. Henry accepts the gesture, but still seems kind of pissed.
And yet, Daddy Hubby looks on with pride, as Betty gallantly hands Baby Gene over to Don at the tot’s birthday party, a moderately believable plastic smile pasted on her face the whole time. When Henry asks her if she is OK with Don’s presence, she replies in the affirmative. “We have EVERYTHING!”
But do they, REALLY?
The VERY Brief Rise and Fall of Joey Baird
It looks like we’ll have to wait until they put you on another TV show, before I get to see you shirtless again. Dammit, Matt Long! Why did your character have to be such a DOUCHE!
*Winks and waves at Shirtless Joey* “CALL ME!”
*Squeals with joy at the news that SCDP now has a vacancy in its Art Department*
When the episode opens, Ken, Stan, Joey, and this random no-named new guy, who seems to have magically appeared during this episode, and yet everybody on the show acts like he’s been there the whole time . . .
“Who the heck are you?”
. . . are loudly bucking the office vending machine, which somehow ate Joey’s watch. “I feel like I’m Margaret Mead,” jokes Peggy, as she observes the male species in its natural habitat, hunting for a Rolex.
Then Joan, who I normally adore, but, in this episode, at least, was somewhat of a, to use her own words, “humorless b*tch” (not that she didn’t deserve to be, under the circumstances), storms outside to yell at the boys to keep it down.
“Yes, MOM!” Joey yells out after her.
Enraged at the part-timer’s sheer disrespect, Joan calls Joey into her office to let him know that she “has a problem with him now.”
“What do you do all day, besides walking aroun this office, like you’re trying to get raped?” Joey inquires.
Oh, he did NOT just say that! WHO says stuff like that? What were you, raised in a BARN?
When Don asks Joan to switch Joey over to full time so that he can put in some extra hours on an important account, Joan bristles at the thought of seeing that goat chew cud around the office Monday through Friday. So, she stretches the truth a little bit. “I’m not sure he’s the right fit. I’ve been hearing complaints.”
“From who?” Peggy inquires, having at least started the season being fairly tight with Joey Goat. (Remember the whole John / Marsha bit, from Episode 1?)
“OK. Let’s hear one dirty story,” suggests Don, gamely.
But Joan refuses to reveal a “dirty story” about Joey Goat, and Peggy becomes suspicious. Later, she pulls Joey away from a Casting Couch session with Harry . . .
“Oh Joey! You’re so handsome. Do exactly as I say, and I can make you the next Jed Clampett . . . *points to autographed picture on his desk*
“He can play my pet goat!”
. . . and warns him to lay off Joan, who clearly has it in for him now.
“Listen, every office has a Joan. My MOTHER was a Joan. She even even wore a pen around her neck, so everyone would stare at her tits,” Joey retorts
(WOAHHH, Nelly! Oedipal Complex much, kiddo? The only time you should be staring so intently at your mother’s rack is when your breast-feeding. After that, it’s just icky!)
But office Bully Goats are the least of Joan’s problems. At home, she is faced with the lingering threat of her husband dying in the Vietnam war. In a feeble attempt to be helpful, Dr. Greg suggests that Joan won’t even miss him while he’s gone, because she will be so busy hanging out with “all her friends at work.”
(No wonder you were such a bad surgeon, Dr. Greg. Your timing SUCKS!)
Joan, of course, bawls at this comment, thus closing off any chance Dr. Greg ever had of getting laid that night.
Lots of these going around tonight . . .
The next day, Joey Goat and his Goat Posse . . .
. . . are targeting Joan once again. But this time, they use artwork . . .
. . . specifically, “artwork” which suggests that Joan is doing THIS . . .
. . . to Lane . . .
“Oh my! Who knew my Beefsteak Belt Buckle would be put to use again so soon!”
Peggy is in Joan’s office, when the picture is discovered. So, she is understandably horrified, on Joan’s behalf.
But Joan just calmly walks outside and tells the artists, more or less, that she doesn’t like them, and hopes they all die in Vietnam.
“So . . . in other words . . . you DON’T wanna sleep with us?”
Peggy, in a rare attempt at sisterly solidarity, approaches Don about Joey’s bad behavior toward Joan. While Don agrees the cartoon is reprehensible, he encourages Peggy to handle the matter on her own, so as to gain the respect of her peers. Peggy pulls Joey Goat aside and insists that he apologize to Joan. “That’s what I hate about working with women. They have no sense of humor,” remarks the Tool.
Unable to reason with the bastard, Peggy fires his ass. Off walks Joey Goat into the sunset, teeny tiny tail between his legs. “Party’s over, boys,” he brays to his entourage, fielding one last invite for “drinks etc.” from Harry, before shutting the door on SCDP for good.
“That was Baaaaaaaaaaad!”
In the elevator on the way out of work, Peggy encounters Joans, and eagerly gives her the good news, about how she single-handedly sent Joey Goat to the Glue Factory.
But Joan is unimpressed.
“I defended you,” Peggy pouts.
Joan claims she was handling the matter in her own way, by meeting with the client at issue, and quietly having Joey taken off the account. “It’s the same result,” Peggy mumbles.
“All you’ve done is prove to them that I’m a meaningless secretary, and you are just another humorless bitch. Have a nice weekend, Peggy.”
That couldn’t have felt good . . .
While Joan’s prophecy is quite possibly true, her nastiness to the woman who could have one day become the lonely office manager’s ONE female friend in the office seemed unnecessarily harsh. It couldn’t have been easy for Peggy, who has always wanted desperately to be “one of the boys” to fire a former friend, and risk being ostracized by her co-workers, as a result.
This elevator exchange further delineates the different paths these two women chose, in creating their futures: Joan representing the more traditional early 1960’s woman, both cunning and overtly feminine; and Peggy representing the New Feminist, independent and career-oriented.
So, what did you think of “The Summer Man?” Do you believe Don will stick to his strict regimen of swimming, writing and drinking in moderation? Is Faye a Keep-ah? How long do you give Betty before she’s embroiled in a second divorce? Can Joan and Peggy ever truly become friends, despite their differences? Would you ever watch a television show produced by Harry Crane and starring Joey Goat?