[ (Mildly) Important Note About the The Vampire Diaries Recap for “Disturbing Behavior”: Hey Folks! I suspect some of you might be scouring the home page in search of my most recent TVD recap. All I can say is, IT’S COMING! I was feeling a bit under the weather last night, and decided it would be best to publish a thorough recap a bit late, rather than publish a shoddy recap on time. I promise to make it up to you, by adding plenty of extra yummy pics and GIFS into the mix! 😉 I hope you can forgive me. The recap should be up by early this evening (probably 8 or 9ish) Eastern Standard time. See you then, Fangbangers!]
Would it be inappropriate for me to ask you to have my babies? It would? Well, could you just flash your abs at me then?
Oh, dear, sweet, Mike Chang. You started off Season 1 as the Mysterious, Possibly Mute, Dancing Guy . . . a guy who . . . except for during the instrumental portion of songs . . . remained largely in the background. Then came Season 2, and our introduction to those glorious specimens of nature known as YOUR ABS.
You started dating Tina . . . and we started taking notice . . . but mostly just of your midsection.
Yes, I pasted the Abs Picture again . . . just in case you forgot what they looked like, when I pasted them two sentences ago. You got a problem with that?
But, now Season 3 is here . . . . Asian F has aired . . . and though it would be illegal in many states, I suspect there are many women out there, over legal drinking age, who would very much like to “Asian F” you, if you catch my drift. 😉
So, strap on those dancing shoes, because this ode to New Directions most woefully under-appreciated club members is about to begin . . .
Finn is happy . . .
And so is his spirit animal . . .
Be Cool, Mike Chang!
That’s right, Mike Chang! You kick that poopyhead, Bad Influence Boyfriend! You kick him HARD!
Mike Chang’s dad is mad as hell. And he’s not going to take it anymore!
“This is my mad face, which, coincidentally, is not all that different from my happy face. Emotions are for losers . . . and people who score A minuses on their high school exams.”
His son is on a path toward destruction! He’s dating a vampire . . . well, at least someone who sometimes dresses like one!
Damon Salvatore finds this extremely insulting . . .
He’s in GLEE CLUB. And worst of all, he took a chemistry test, and received an A minus . . . an ASIAN F! At this rate, Mike will NEVER get into Harvard!
Oh, the horror!
Papa Chang thinks Mike might be ON DRUGS . . . and begs Principal Figgins to force him to submit to drug tests each week. He also wants him to . . . wait for it . . . QUIT GLEE CLUB. (NOOOOOOOOOO!)
Poor Mike! He’s horrified of the idea of losing the part of his life, that he values most. He promises his dad that he will do better . . . pay for a chemistry tutor, and never Asian F again (Well, at least not THAT kind of Asian F.)
But the problem, of course, is that Mike has A LOT on his plate right now. He’s going to Glee club practice. He’s spending extra hours at the school helping Mr. Schue run Booty Camp. He’s on the football team. He’s teaching the football team to dance, as part of Coach Beiste’s requirement that they all audition for the school play.
And, perhaps, most importantly (for purposes of this episode, anyway) Mike has decided to audition for the role of Riff in the school’s production of West Side Story. It’s a dancing part, of course. But it’s also . . . wait for it . . . a singing part. And we all know that singing isn’t necessarily a talent that comes naturally to Mike Chang . . .
“I’m really good at sex though.”
Will Mike be able to juggle it all, while earning straight A’s (NOT A minuses!), AND earn the role of his dreams? Mike decides to dance on it. In what was my opinion, the most moving part of the episode, Mike heads alone to the dance studio rips off his shirt, to reveal a super tight, arms bearing tank top (but no abs, unfortunately), and dances his frustrations, hopes and dreams in total and complete silence.
*insert stripper music, and lewd whistles here*
Then, he has imaginary conversations, both with his father — who values scholastic achievement above all else — and his girlfriend — who encourages his passion for dance, and the arts. Bolstered by the power he gets from his dancing, Mike finally feels capable of unburdening himself, and telling the two people he admires most, exactly how he feels . . . Well, technically, he only does it in his mind . . . but it’s certainly a start . . .
Damn straight, Tina!
And though Mike has been double booked (He is supposed to be learning chemistry right now), our hero, though a bit late, DOES, ultimately decide to audition for the role of Riff. He does so, with one of the character’s token solos, a toe-tapping, finger-snapping number entitled “Cool,” which showcases both his trademark dance moves, and his raspy, yet surprisingly sexy, singing voice.
“Yeah . . . I know . . . I’m awesome. You totally want to get with this.”
Accompanying him on his audition are some pretty goofy-looking dancing football players. (So, now we know where Mike has slacked.)
“OK guys . . . you just keep doing the hokey pokey. And I swear, nobody is going to ever find out that I never actually taught you to dance.”
But hey, nobody’s perfect . . .
After the audition, Mike returns to the comfort of the dance studio. It is there where he encounters his mother. Upon noticing that he had missed his appointment with his chemistry tutor, she had arrived at the school to make sure he was OK. UH OH! Busted!
Tired of hiding his true self, Mike finally comes clean to his mother. He doesn’t want to be a doctor, engineer or astrophysicist, when he grows up. Wait for it . . . Mike wants to be . . . a professional dancer. The notion that Mike would end up coming clean to someone in his family about his true desires was not necessarily shocking or unexpected. What WAS shocking, however, was his mother’s response.
Mike’s mother admits that she was not as courageous as her son was, and gave up her own dreams to do what was expected of her. She does not want that for her son. And so Mike’s mother promises to support Mike’s dreams. “But what about Papa Chang?” You might ask.
“When you get the part [of Riff], we will tell him together,” Mama Chang tells her son.
“OK . . . cool, now while I have you here. I guess it’s also time I told you that I’ve fallen in love with a TV Recapper . . .”
And just in case you weren’t already reaching for the Kleenex at this point in the scene, there’s more! Mike asks his mother what dream SHE gave up during her childhood. As it turns out, she too wanted to be a dancer, but never had the wherewithal to take lessons. “Well, I’ve been told that I’m a pretty good teacher
unless you are a football player,” says Mike.
Then . . . wait for it . . . he SLOW DANCES WITH HIS MOM!
All together now . . . AWWWWW!
“I’m not crying . . . It’s just raining on my face.”
But Mike wasn’t the only Gleek dancing his way to success and satisfaction this week . . .
Brittany Runs the World (well . . . at least the gym)
I’ve decided I want to be Brittany S. Pearce for Halloween this year, and use the outfit she’s wearing here as my costume . . . Now, if only the costume came with her legs . . .
I told you Brittany is running for class president, last week, didn’t I? What I didn’t tell you is that she’s running a ROCKING CAMPAIGN, one based on the notion that the student council, up to this point, has been a predominately Man’s World. And this, in her opinion is why the “economy” of the school is going down the toilet . . . I’m sorry. I mean, the “magical poop-stealing water chair.”
Give me back my poop, B*tch!
So, the usually daft Brittany, in a rare show of genius, plans an all-female flash mob that begins in the halls of McKinley High, and ends in the school gym.
And you know the darn thing is a unanimous success, when you see the faculty (even Sue Sylvester!) doing their own nerdy chair-dances, as they watch her boogie down . . .
Speaking of (slightly nerdy) teachers . . .
More Adventures in Bad Parenting (Emma Pillsbury Edition)
Have you ever wondered why Emma Pillsbury is . . . the way she is? You know . . . perpetually virginal, scared of her own shadow, and OCD-tastic?
Well, Will kind of wants to know too. After all, he would eventually like to marry this girl, and maybe even (GASP) actually bone her.
(Welcome to the ONLY man in the world, who doesn’t appear the least bit freaked out by his girlfriend’s Secret Wedding Magazine stash. And this is despite his having, pretty much, the WORST FIRST WIFE EVER!).
Two Words: Fake . . . Pregnancy.
In furtherance of his ultimate dual goal of getting both married and laid, Will requests to be introduced to Emma’s parents. The Schue undoubtedly knows from experience that the mere asking of this question sometimes has the result of causing marriage-intent women’s panties to immediately fly off their bodies, at warp speed. But Emma is not one of those women. In fact, she is SO dead set against this idea, that she lies and claims that her parents are DEAD, despite Will having HEARD her talk to them on the phone the night before.
“They are ghosts. I have ghost parents,” Emma offers feebly.
Will is crushed. He’s convinced that Emma doesn’t want him to meet her parents, because she’s ASHAMED OF Will, his freakish hair, odd attachment to underage girls and boys, teacher’s salary, and inability to say, “Have Mercyyyyy,” like that guy from Full House.
Will turns to Beiste for help with his quandary, but she is too enamored with her MASSIVE BOWL OF CREAMY DISGUSTING PASTA to offer much in the way of advice.
However, in between mouthfuls of mush, she does manage to tell Will that he’s dreamy, and a catch, and should INTRODUCE HIMSELF TO EMMA’S PARENTS . . .
Wait . . . WHAT?!
Oh, no Will . . . no, no no! Just say NO! Hasn’t being on this show for three seasons taught you that 9 out of 10 parents on Glee (and on most teen shows, for that matter) are ASSHATS and weirdos?
(Kurt’s dad and stepmom, and Mike’s mom, so far, seem to be the only exceptions to this rule.)
But Will doesn’t listen to my screams at the television. And why should he?
He’s a MORON! He’s stubborn.
So, Will invites Emma’s parents to his house on a night when he and Emma are SUPPOSED to be having a Romantic Dinner. (Really Will? And you think this is going to HELP you get laid?) Emma is mortified, and pleads with Will to put an end to these shenanigans, ASAP. So, Will asks HER, “Are you ashamed of me?”
(She’s not, Will. BUT I AM!)
Emma then admits what most of us have probably known all along. Emma isn’t ashamed of Will at all. She’s ashamed of HER parents. And here’s why:
One of them was on the show, Happy Days. They are . . . wait for it . . . GINGER SUPREMACISTS.
I know weird right . . . of all the strange deviant things the writers could have come up with for Emma’s parents, THIS is what they choose? People who hate those who don’t have red hair? SERIOUSLY? Oh, and they are emotionally abusive too, which helps add some poignancy to the plotline
but not much..
Well, they certainly LOOK evil . . .
All snarkery aside, when Emma’s mom, mocked Emma’s incessant silverware cleaning at the table, by calling her “Freaky Deaky,” and telling the rest of the table that she has a “case of the Cleanies,” you could tell just how much it tore Emma apart. Kudos to Jayma Mays for adding some real legitimacy and depth, to what could have been a REALLY ridiculous story, with her impressive acting ability. My heart really went out to Emma in this scene.
And Will too,
creepy as he may be, most of the time won some major points from me for standing up to Emma’s parents, calling them out on their racism, and emotionally abusive treatment of their daughter. He also, more or less told them that Emma is a wonderful human being, OCD and all.
Later that night, Will finds Emma frantically rubbing her hands together compulsively before bed. It is clear that Emma’s recent run-in with the parental units has made her OCD that much worse. Will, of course, feels incredibly guilty (AS HE SHOULD!) And though not a particularly religious man, he kneels down to pray with Emma, when she admits that doing so gives her comfort at her most out of control moments.
WILL: “Dear Lord, please allow me to have sex again, before I’m old enough to require a little blue pill to help me get it up.”
And its a sweet, quiet scene . . . until Will starts singing Coldplay’s Fix You, which, though well intentioned, could be interpreted as a bit condescending, not to mention kind of contrary to the notion of Will loving Emma, exactly as she is.
I mean, yeah, Emma’s is clearly uncomfortable with her condition, and it prevents her from
HAVING AWESOME SEX making the most of her life. But still, in light of what just happened, wouldn’t it have been nicer for Will to sing something a bit more comforting? I know, the Glee cast has already covered Bruno Mars’ “Just the Way You Are.” But hey, Billy Joel sang a song with that title too!
Also, I never particularly cared for Will’s “falsetto voice.” The songs he sings on a lower register tend to be a bit less . . . how do I put this kindly . . . annoying. (For example, his renditions of “Tell Me Something Good,” and “Bust a Move,” remain some of my favorite Glee singles. His version of “Kiss” by Prince . . . not so much.) Other than that . . . um . . . GREAT SONG!
Meanwhile, back at school . . .
Divas Never Win (And Winners Never Diva)
“Remember when I used to be the most well-liked girl in Glee club . . . That was nice while it lasted.”
Mercedes new Bad Influence Boyfriend, Shane, has been Lady Macbeth-ing her to shun all her friends, in pursuit of the role of Maria in West Side Story. He puffs up Mercedes head with a lot of hot air, by telling her that the Glee club doesn’t appreciate her talents.
I couldn’t help but notice that both Mercedes and Bad Influence Boyfriend are eating tater tots in this scene. Ahhh . . . memories.
And that she is more like the part Beyonce played in Dreamgirls, even though she thinks of herself as the part Jennifer Hudson played. (Umm . . . Shane . . . wait . . . wasn’t Jennifer Hudson the STAR of Dreamgirls? Didn’t she WIN AN OSCAR FOR IT? And wasn’t her character supposed to be . . . THE BEST SINGER IN THE GROUP?)
I mean, I get it . . . Effie in dreamgirls was a character whose talent her producers and bandmates didn’t appreciate, due to her weight . . . but still, BAD ANALOGY SHANE! Oh, and maybe I’m stereotyping here. But somehow I have difficulty envisioning this big burly football player going all gaga over the musical version of a chick flick . . . Just sayin’
Anywhoo, Mercedes has been a bit under the weather lately. She is nauseous, weak, fatigued, and sore.
(Thank the lord, Amber Riley confirmed that her character is not preggars, because I REALLY can’t handle another BABY TALE!) And because of this, she’s been a bit lax in her Glee practice and booty camp attendance.
So, of course, the increasingly screechy Will is quick to call her out on this fact at Booty Camp. (Why is Will telling off his students becoming a weekly event on this show?) If Mercedes expects to get support from her fellow Gleeks for her plight, she is sorely mistaken. The recently returned to New Directions’ Santana (Mr. Schue’s candidate for screeching in Episode 1), is quick to call Mercedes out on her “laziness,” and poor eating habits.
(Read Santana’s lips in this GIF. Doesn’t it kind of look like she’s telling Mercedes to f*&k off?)
Tired of being (what she considers) picked on by her friends and supposed mentor, and bolstered by Bad Influence Boyfriend, Mercedes chooses to sing the soulful song “Spotlight” for her Maria audition.
Her performance impresses all of the casting directors (Beiste, Emma and Artie) greatly. And so Mercedes begins to believe she may have a shot at being the Beyonce character in Dreamgirls, after all!
Torn between casting Rachel or Mercedes in the role of Maria, the casting directors decide to hold . . . you guessed it . . . a diva off to see which “Maria” is best for the part.
Feeling like she is destined to end up in the shadow of Rachel’s spotlight, once again, Mercedes acts out in Booty Camp class, when Will berates her for not being able to successfully perform the “Widowmaker” dance move. She accuses Will of playing favorites with Rachel, at the rest of the club’s expense.
Will is so outraged by this accusation that he offers Mercedes an ultimatum: “Shape up, or you are out of the Glee club for good.”
These harsh words inspire Mercedes to have . . . you guessed it . . . a Dreamgirls’ Dream Sequence, with Mercedes in the role of Effie, and the rest of the Glee Club members (sans Rachel), as . . . well . . . slightly meaner and more flashily dressed versions of themselves, I guess. The Dream Sequence — which is based on the scene in the movie, where Effie is kicked out of the Dreamgirls for her purportedly bad behavior, when, unbeknownst to everyone else in the group, she is only acting that way because she is pregnant — pretty much features the entire cast telling Mercedes off and ditching her ass to the tune of Dreamgirls‘ “It’s All Over.”
On the day of the Diva Off, a nervous Mercedes and Rachel stand at opposite ends of the stage, with their respective boyfriends waiting in the wings to offer them support. The song they both sing is “Out Here on My Own,” from Fame. And though the song is not necessarily my favorite, and sounds a bit too much like the recently performed “Spotlight,” for my taste, both contenders do an admirable job performing it, with Mercedes edging out Rachel ever-so-slightly, during the parts of the song that require belting.
“I am quite the belter . . .”
(In a way, this song was custom-made for Mercedes’ deep sultry voice, and enviably powerful pipes, thereby putting the softer, sweeter-voiced Rachel at a distinct disadvantage.)
Sorry! That’s just how I feel.
Rachel comes out of the audition, certain that she has lost the role to Mercedes. Fearing that not having the lead in the school play will make getting into that fancy New York performing arts school she covets, near impossible, Rachel impulsively vies for another after school activity to put on her resume . . . coincidentally . . . or not-so-coincidentally . . . it’s the same after-school activity for which Kurt is campaigning (who has recently graciously accepted his boyfriend’s decision to try out for the lead in the play as well, and is even surprisingly supportive of his decision).
“Don’t worry. I promise it’s not a gun.”
Kurt is crushed that his bestie would betray him in this way Not to mention surprised. I mean, don’t you have to be POPULAR to win class president. Most of the school HATES Rachel!. And he is not exactly shy about telling her exactly how she feels, ” —-” Even Finn, who, himself is no stranger to selfish behavior, seems appalled by Rachel’s lack of sensitivity. He doesn’t even know if he’s going to vote for her! (And now she’s probably only going to get one vote . . . her own.)
When it comes time to choose who gets to play Maria, the show’s casting directors (lamely) decide to cast BOTH women in the role, each person gets the part for a week. Though frustrating from a plot perspective, it seems like a fair deal for both girls, and Rachel, for her part, accepts the offer fairly readily. But NOT MERCEDES! Recognizing that she probably had the better audition (a point about which Rachel doesn’t necessarily disagree), Mercedes becomes convinced that the directors cast both girls, in order to protect Rachel’s feelings.
And so she THROWS A TEMPER TANTRUM, and quits the show ALTOGETHER . . .
. . . thereby giving Rachel the part by default.
Talk about shooting yourself in the foot! Or maybe not . . . toward the end of the episode, Mercedes approaches the director of the virtually singer-less (save the tone deaf, Sugar Motta) SECOND school Glee club, Shelby Corcoran, of being admitted into HER club, where, by default she will undoubtedly become it’s version of Rachel Berry.
The power-hungry Rachel then decides to continue to run for class president ANYWAY, despite the fact that she now has FULL reigns to the lead in the School Play, and a solid chance of getting into the ollege of her dreams, while her “friend” Kurt is still struggling to find HIS ticket to admission. (Yeah . . . she’s kind of a b*tch . . .)
“Ooh! You’re so BAD!”
And the part goes to . . .
In the final moments of the episode, we FINALLY get to see who got the parts in the West Side Story musical. And though, the results are not all that surprising (After all, for the most part, the only people we saw rehearse all got the parts for which they rehearsed), it was still uplifting to see the looks on those Gleeks faces when they learned their school play dreams had come true . . .
I loved seeing Kurt sweetly hug Blaine, upon seeing that he was rewarded the lead role of Tony. (Kurt ended up landing the part of Officer Krupke . . . not bad!)
And Santana’s adorable little understated (but obviously thrilled) smile, upon seeing that she got the part of Anita, was countered with a HUGE EMBRACE by an ecstatic Brittany. (Have I mentioned yet today how much I ADORE these two.)
Mike Chang’s winning the role of Riff brought tears to my eyes for about the third time, during the hour.
And Rachel’s win of the part of Maria, though bittersweet, was not entirely unexpected, or unwanted.
(Remember when Blaine and Rachel drunk kissed last season, during the “Blame it On the Alcohol,” episode? Oh yeah! We are going to get some more of that!)
So, that was Glee, in a nutshell. I must say, I share many Gleeks admiration for this touching, and well-acted episode, which I feel truly harkened back to the show’s Season 1, heydey. Mercedes, Will, and Rachel kind of pissed me off, though . . .
“Et tu Recapper?”
Tune in next MONTH, when Quinn makes a play for Baby Beth, Puck makes a play for Shelby . . .
. . . and Mercedes and Santana shoot for ALTERNA-GLEE CLUB super-stardom. You can check out the trailer for the next episode, which is entitled “Pot O’Gold,” here:
So, my Gleekies, what did you think of “Asian F?” Was it all you hoped for in a Glee episode and more? Or did you find it to be a bit overhyped? Are you as much in love with Mike Chang (and his abs) as I am? Do you think Mercedes is a bigger diva than Rachel? And, perhaps least importantly, which Glee kid do you think Mr. Schue is going to freak out on in Episode 4?
Feel free to sound off in the comment section below. And please, take your time . . . we have a loooong hiatus ahead of us . . .
[www.juliekushner.com] [Fangirls Forever]