Tag Archives: McDreamy

I Think I Am Going To Need Therapy After Watching This Episode . . . My RANT about the Grey’s Anatomy Season Finale “Sanctuary / Death and all of His Friends”

[WARNING:  This is going to be a kind of mean, and VERY angry, post about the Season Finale of Grey’s Anatomy.  So, if you LOVED this episode, then what I’m about to say is just going to make YOU very angry.  And YOU will be very tempted, to leave mean comments here — comments that will make ME very sad . . .

 . . . Plus, I’ll probaby delete them.  But, of course, we are BOTH entitled to our opinions.  So, if you were a big fan of the finale, you might want to stay away from this post, for both of our sakes.  But, before you go, let me just say that, for six seasons, I have truly LOVED Grey’s Anatomy, which is why this episode hurt my heart so very much.]

OK . . . here goes nothing . . .

You know how people always talk about BIG TWISTS and DEATHS during SEASON FINALES of popular programs that air during MAY SWEEPS?  Then, you probably also know that, whenever fans of a show engage in such discussions, there is always someone who jokes that, “Haha, I think X is going to come by and SHOOT THE ENTIRE CAST!” 

They aren’t really SERIOUS, when they say this, of course.  Because no show would ever SHOOT THE ENTIRE CAST, right?  That would just put the whole show in jeopardy, wouldn’t it?

Ummmm . . . yeah .  . . they basically did that on tonight’s two-hour long Grey’s Anatomy episode entitled “Sanctuary / Death and all his Friends”. . .    or, as I like to call it, “We’d really enjoy making our fans miserable for two hours, in order to gain ratings and publicity.”

She LOOKS so nice and SWEET.  I just don’t understand . . .

I don’t think I’ve ever been so TORTURED by a television show or movie in my entire life.  And I’m someone who ACTUALLY LIKES slasher films! 

I LOVE the Scream series . . . well, at least the first one . . . and parts of the third . . . and the beginning of the second.

 I’m really torn between being impressed by how truly shocking and upsetting this episode was . . .

 (The entire cast did an amazing job tonight, with some very difficult scenes.  There truly wasn’t a weak performance in the bunch.  This is one of the few NICE things I’m going to say here.  So enjoy it while it lasts.) 

 . . . and REALLY INFURIATED at the writers for seemingly DESPISING the show’s fans enough to put them through this!  (I think I’m going to go with INFURIATED, thank you very much!) 

That was me, after the episode ended.  A rabid racoon . . .

 Just to give you an idea of how plagued with terror and misery this episode truly was . . .

 (It had more blood, gore and torture in it than SAW, or Hostel.)

 . . . here’s just a brief list of some of the things that occured.  SPOILERS if you haven’t seen this, OBVIOUSLY!  (And if you care about your heart at all, maybe you shouldn’t watch it . . .)

Gary Clark  . . .

makes Freddy Krueger . . . .

 

look like Betty White . . .

(1) Dr. Reed got shot in the head and DIED!

(2) Dr. Percy got shot in the stomach (Or was it his back?  I couldn’t tell, because I was watching through my fingers, while shaking and crying hysterically).  Anyway, he bled disgustingly and painfully for two hours, until, ultimately, he suffered a seemingly never-ending, and agonizing death.   (Oh, and I think this was the MOST lines this guy has ever had on this show, since he started here, about a season ago . . . Figures, right?)

 During that time, he continually told Bailey . . .

 and Mandy Moore  . . .

(She was a guest star in this episode.  She did a great job.  This clearly isn’t her fault!)

 . . . to tell Reed he loved her, because he never got to tell her himself, before he died.  But .  . . um . . . Percy?  You’re going to see her WAY SOONER than Bailey and Mandy Moore.  Because, congratulations, she’s dead, just like you!

(3) Derek  . . .

was SHOT in the chest, right in the center of the hospital.  (You know, right near that HUGE OPEN WINDOW . . . where the SWAT TEAM, or the HELICOPTER, could have easily taken out the SHOOTER?)

 Then Cristina . . .

 .  . . and Dr. “Hotness” Avery . . .

(One of the few bright points of this episode was that he saved the day!  And he actually had a decent amount of lines, for a change.)

 . . . operated on him.  Then the CRAZY LUNATIC SHOOTER held a gun to everyone’s head and told them to stop operating.  So, they stopped, and the monitor flatlines, and Meredith . . .

(Why have I chosen to show her in a wedding dress, you ask?  You see, I’m trying in vain to cheer myself up after this insanely upsetting episode!)

 . . . who’s in the room at the time, cries hysterically and screams bloody murder.  Because, after all, it WOULD HAVE BEEN BLOODY MURDER!  But ultimately we find out, they were only fooling (haha – April Fools!  Seriously?  Was that really necessary?)  They finish the operation, and he survives.

(4) About 10 random people we don’t know get shot and die.  Some of them bleed disgustingly on camera.

(5) Meredith finds out she is pregnant at the beginning of the episode, and is (surprisingly, especially for her) really happy about it . . .

 But then she miscarries from stress, while operating on Owen. (We’ll get to him later).   Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, she never gets to tell Derek about the pregnancy.

(6) Both  Alex . . .

(There I go, trying to cheer myself up, again . . .)

 and Owen (who was in the ARMY, and, you would think, would be a bit better at handling TRAUMA situations, like this one, but Noooooo . . .) . . .

 .  . . get shot, and bleed disgustingly, but don’t die.

(7) Bailey gets dragged out from underneath a bed and ALMOST gets shot, but doesn’t, because she tells the shooter she’s a nurse.  Don’t ask.  Speaking of Bailey, where the HECK was her boyfriend during this episode? 

Maybe he was hanging out with that useless swat team for two hours . . .

(Remove the “S” in their name and replace it with a “T,” because that’s about how effective they were at protecting our beloved characters)

( 8 ) Lexie . . .

 . . . almost gets shot, but the Keystone SWAT team get to the shooter first.  They only barely wound him, of course.  And he gets to walk around killing people for another hour, while the T SWAT Team scratches its ONE collective brain, and wonders where he went.  But, hey, he didn’t shoot Lexie!

(9) April . . .

 . . . almost gets shot, but she starts babbling about her personal life to the Killer.  So, he decides to let her go.  (I loved how this Killer got to be sensitive and emotional, when it was convenient for the plot, and cold-blooded, nuts, and Supernaturally EVIL, when it wasn’t.  When Derek told him, “You seem like a good man,” I would have actually laughed my ass off, if the whole thing wasn’t so incredibly disturbing and sad.)

(10) Christina almost gets shot like 5 times during the episode!

(11) Meredith ASKS to be shot, to save Derek, but the shooter leaves when he thinks Derek is dead.

(12)  Old Chief Webber . . .

 . . . who’s outside of the hospital when the episode begins, goes in and CONFRONTS the killer (Note: Those 20 or so idiot cops still haven’t found this guy, since the last time they barely wounded him.  Webber finds him IMMEDIATELY, no problem!)  Killer is GOING to shoot Chief, but only has one bullet left, and FINALLY shoots himself, which we all wish he did before this episode aired, to put us out of our misery.  Oh, but Chief DOESN’T fall off the wagon, even after Killer RANDOMLY offers him a flask. 

 Ummm, yay?

(13) Arizona and Callie get back together, and FINALLY agree to start a family. . .

 . . . because the writers had to add something good to the two hours, so that their entire fanbase didn’t slit their wrists.  (Not that the writers would care — since they seem to hate us ALL.  They just didn’t want to get sued . . .)

When the promos “spoiled” us fans, informing us, in no uncertain terms, that this episode would have a shooter, we all knew it was going to be that loony tunes, Gary Clark, who lost his wife a few episodes ago.  And we might have even understood him coming after Derek, under the circumstances.  It wouldn’t be JUSTIFIED, mind you.  But it would be MILDLY understandable.  

However, since when does killing 80 people (OK, it wasn’t 80, but it SURE felt like it was), constitute and “eye for an eye?” (Yes, Gary Clark actually used THAT biblical saying as an explanation for his MULTITUDE of murders.  If bibles could cry, they’d be bawling right now . . .)

We’ve seen this guy for two episodes prior to this.  And, given what we saw, his sudden psychopath tendencies, just didn’t make sense to me.  A completely random crazy person, would have been a more realistic option as shooter, in my opinion.  But seeing as this was a ploy for ratings . . . ANYTHING GOES!

Generally, I try to find “the positive” in episodes that I recap, even ones I don’t particularly care for.  But this was just too much!  If I didn’t care so much about these characters, having watched them grow and change over six seasons, I would stop watching this show, just because of this episode.  The writers were just plain cruel tonight.  And this was completely uncalled for, in my opinion.

Bash me, for saying this if you want, fellow Grey’s fans, but I’m pissed off . . . and, like I said, I might need therapy now.  So, thanks Shondra Rhimes!

But to end this post on a high note, here’s a cute picture of a kitten, to make us all feel better .  . .

See you next season?

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They’re Bringing Sexy Back! YEAH! – A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Shiny Happy People”

These are two ACTUAL screencaps.   Both were taken from the first FIVE MINUTES of Thursday night’s Grey’s Anatomy.  You’re welcome.

After last week’s cringe-tastic, surgery heavy, UGLY episode . . . thanks to which, I will never view this image in the same way EVER again . . .

. . . it was really nice to see Grey’s getting back to it’s roots this week — You know, surgery-lite;  mushy-gushy relationship stuff / shirtless men HEAVY.  I don’t know about you, but I tend to prefer my Grey’s simple and super girly.  And a girly Grey’s was exactly what I got!

“Give me an E – S -T -R- O -G -E-N!  What’s that spell?”

Couples really took center stage during this episode of Grey’s.  Heck, even this week’s medical mysteries featured “couples” of some sort.  Well . . . except for ONE medical mystery . . .

WOAH!  This Disney Chick can ACT . . .  so well that I can almost forgive her for that Princess Protection Program movie . . .

 . . . ALMOST.

So, what are we waiting for?  Let’s get on with this girly boink-fest!

We’re Having a Party . . . Everybody’s Slutty!

The episode began with a PARTY at the Mer and Der House!  It was a party to celebrate McDreamy!

For what reason, I am not entirely sure . . . for being Chief, I guess.  The only problem was . . . it wasn’t a very good fiesta.  Karev, perhaps, said it best when he remarked, “This party blows.”

For one thing, everyone looked all stuffy and uncomfortable, in their suits and “business casual” dresswear, i.e. dowdy dresses, that don’t show anything above the knee.  Who the heck has house parties like this?  Your grandpa, that’s who!  And that’s when it suddenly occurred to me.  Our Greysies are getting OLD!

It’s TRUE!  Meredith proved it, when she said, “At my parties, we drank tequila and danced on tables!”  

And that was true . .  FIVE SEASONS AGO . . .

Remember the Boozy Slutty Dysfunctional Meredith of Season 1?  Good times!

But it’s not true now!  The one good thing about the party, was that it offered us this lovely picture, of our suave and suited Grey’s men, sipping scotch and poring over floor plans . . .

How very Ocean’s 11 of them!  Not this Ocean’s 11, mind you . . .

 . . . more like this one . . .

See what I mean . . . about the OLD?

Anyway, things improved quickly, when we LEFT the party and were delivered NOT ONE, BUT TWO, shirtless prelude-to sex scenes . . .  The first one was between Bailey and her latelyMIA Gas Man . . .

Remember him?  If you didn’t before, I bet you won’t forget him NOW!

The second scene, not-so-surprisingly, featured Mark “I-Get-More-Play-Than-A Slot-Machine-In-Vegas” Sloan.

What was surprising, was who he was with.  It wasn’t his current girlfriend, Teddy, nor his ex-girlfriend, Lexie.  Nor was he with his “friends with benefits” gal pal, the recently single, Callie.  Nope, Sloan was with . . .

 . . . that annoying pixie-haired Mercy Wester chick, who hasn’t been around for half the season? 

Ummm . . . yeah, so McSteamy is coming out of the shower all steamy, after what was probably a fairly tepid round of lovemaking with Slutty but Boring Doc Reed, when, who walks in and catches them post-coitus? 

You guessed it, his current girlfriend TEDDY!  To Sloan’s credit, he doesn’t do that thing you see in romantic comedies, where the guy gets caught in the act of cheating, and he starts jumping around like a jack rabbit, sputtering, “It’s NOT what you think!”  (When it always is exactly THAT!) 

Instead, he INVITES TEDDY TO JOIN THEM!

Way to go McSteamy!  You may be a mental midget when it comes to the ways of women, but you sure are COOL!

Unfortunately, the producers cut away from the scene, before we can find out if Teddy accepts the proposition, but I’m thinking . . . NOT!  Truth be told, Teddy is only interested in one threesome, and one threesome only .  . . this one.

News Flash Cristina Yang, Owen is Just Not That Into You . . .

Hey, Yang!  Wanna join my book club?  We’re reading one that you will LOVE!

Speaking of the World’s Most Unhappy Threesome Ever, while Teddy is being cheated on by Mark, Owen is impulsively asking a drunk Cristina to move in with him, “because my therapist said it was a good idea.”  Now if that’s not a ringing endorsement for romance, folks, I don’t know what is! 

Cristina instantly AGREES to this lame proposition, and I start to wonder whether the majority of her brain cells are housed in her scrubs.  After all, it seems like such an uncharacteristically DUMB move on the part of a woman who, normally, is one of the most intelligent characters on this show.  Then again, it wouldn’t be the first time that a man made Cristina do less than brilliant things . . .

EEEVILL!

 Meredith overhears this exchange, and is again faced with the moral crisis she dealt with last week.  You see, Meredith is convinced that Owen’s failure to follow Cristina’s wishes, and help Teddy keep her job, was incontrovertible evidence that Owen is secretly in love with Teddy.

“I LOVE YOU . . . so I tried to get you fired.  My therapist said it was a good idea . . .”

 So, on one hand, she owes it to her BFF Cristina to let her know that her boyfriend is a poopy head .  . .

.  . . and, like all poopy, deserves to be unceremoniously dumped.  On the other hand, the information she learned about Owen, came from Derek, and the confidentiality requirements associated with Post-It Note Marriages, are SERIOUS!

Nothing says loving like Sticky Paper, purchased in a 150-note multicolored pack (2 for $3.00!) at CVS . . .

So, Meredith decides to play King Solomon and split the baby . . .

 . . . instead of outright telling Cristina about her poopy head boyfriend, she drops annoyingly coy hints of his emotional infidelity, throughout the episode.  Initially, Cristina, who has always been a “shoot the messenger” type gal, gets pissed at Meredith, and denies that such infidelity exists.  However, with the seeds of doubt successfully planted, and love triangles seeming to haunt her wherever she goes, Christina starts to question the nature of her relationship with Owen. 

Ultimately, in a really great scene, Meredith confronts Owen about his feelings for Teddy.  Meredith explains to Owen, that if he is a “good guy,” he will come clean to Cristina about his throwing Teddy under the bus, when her job was on the line, and then lying about it.  In true Grey’s fashion, Teddy, of course, overhears all of this.  But to her credit, no trace of a sh&t-eating grin can be found on her face, upon hearing the good news.

Nor does she break into song, belting out, “You really LIKE me!  You think I’m SEXY!  You want to DATE me!”

Color me impressed.  Ultimately, Owen confesses his lie to Cristina.  And when she outright asks him whether he is in love with Teddy, he says, articulately, “I don’t know.”  (Perhaps he should get a new therapist.  Because, clearly, the one he has now is not doing a good job, writing his “lines” for him.)

At the end of the episode, in a scene highly reminiscent of early Grey’s, a torn-up Cristina crawls into bed with Meredith and admits that she and Owen are no longer moving in together.  Meredith changes the subject, but does so in a sweet way, by showing Cristina the plans for her and Derek’s house in the woods, where there is a separate room for Cristina to crash whenever she find herself in need of a hug . . .

Awww!

Relationships are like ducks . . .

Things were going significantly better for new couple, Alex and Lexie, this week, at least, on the surface.  After expending WAY too much mental energy on the recent sexual rendezvous of her ex- Sloan, especially, for a person who claims to be “over him,” Lexie decides it might be a good idea to issue Alex an ultimatum on the state of their sort-of relationship.  And, while normally, such an ultimatum, would have sent Alex running for the hills . . .

Running shirtless .  . . (Oh come on, as if a picture like that EVER needs a proper recap tie-in to be included!)

 . . . New and Improved Alex responds by making out with Lexie in public AGAIN.  Once they are done swapping spit with one another, he tells her.  “Yeah, we are a thing.  Whatever.”  (OK, I’m thinking that Owen’s inarticulate therapist is writing Alex’s lines too.  How about you?)

Later, when Meredith questions Alex about the nature of his relationship with Lexie, he explains that he is acting like . . . a duck.

Because ducks are sexy . . . (Awesome pic “borrowed” from marginalnotes btw)

Although the metaphor was, admittedly, a bit unclear, I think Alex was referring to the whole, “If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and acts like a duck, it’s probably a duck” thing.  In other words, act like you are in a healthy relationship, and soon you will actually find yourself in one.  Ummm . . . yeah, I’m not so sure about that, Alex . . .

And apparently, Lexie isn’t so sure either.  When Mark professes his love to her, at the end of the episode, Lexie doesn’t immediately jump his bones, but she doesn’t put up much of a fight either.  “I have a boyfriend,” says Lexie, half-heartedly.

“But I’m telling you that you could have a husband,” replies Most-Articulate-Male-of-this-Episode, Mark (maybe more like a Dad than a husband, but, like Alex says, “Whatever”).

It’s definitely a May – December Romance.  But in terms of “couple names,” “Sexie” TOTALLY kicks “Lalex”‘s butt!

So they’ve got that going for them, at least.

The Medical Stuff

You know what was really interesting about this week’s three “medical mysteries?”  They all got SOLVED!

 . . . and NOBODY DIED!

 . . . and that burn victim chick got her hair back!

It was the happiest hospital day EVER at Seattle Grace!  First, we got to meet an awesome star from Happy Days!

“What?  You were expecting, The Fonz?”

It’s Mommy Marion Ross!  She still looks pretty good!  And, apparently, I wasn’t the only one who thought so!  In a series of events that ONLY happens on TV, Marion Ross’s character, Betty, is in the hospital, getting  .  . . something done . . . not sure what . . . when she runs into Cute Old Dude Henry, her long lost love, who she hasn’t seen in 50-years. 

 They are eachother’s “one that got a way.”  Now, with no more obstacles standing between them (because all of those obstacles, unfortunately, are now DEAD), Betty and Henry decide to move in together (once they get out of the hospital, of course), and give their relationship a go.  I know, it sounds kind of lame, but it was actually really sweet.  And Cute Old Dude Henry had a voice that sounded like it narrated fairy tales for a living, so that made it even sweeter . . .

We also got to meet a burn victim in the hospital, who was supposed to get a hair regrafting (she had lost most of it in a car explosion), when she learns that she has an infection on her arm, and needs her fingers amputated.  At first, the doctors tell her that her infection will prevent her from getting the hair regrafting operation.  But then, they decide, RISKS be damned, HAIR IS IMPORTANT! 

And so they do the grafting during the hand amputation.  Of course, had Burn Victim Girl appeared in ANY OTHER episode, aside from this one, this would have been a perfect opportunity for the writers to senselessly kill her off, and manipulate us fans into tears. ( And we know how Grey’s LOVES the tears!)  However, Burn Victim Girl was lucky, because she got to star in an episode entitled “Shiny HAPPY People.”  And because HAPPY people tend to be, more often than not, ALIVE, she got to live too!

Finally, in what was the best “medical mystery” of the episode, Demi Lovato . . .

HEY!  What did I say about referring to that film again?

Sorry . . . Demi Lovato . . .

 . . . enters the hospital as a teen diagnosed with schizophrenia, who was admitted to the hospital after, literally, trying to claw her eyes out!  Everyone at the hospital thinks she’s a TOTAL nutjob, except this guy . . .

Sigh!

Who, instead, assumes she must have some extremely rare disease.  (After all, those have been conveniently traveling around Grey’s in search of likeable guest stars patients since Season 1).  Alex runs some initial tests on the teen, and comes up empty handed.  He then confronts his girlfriend with the photographic memory, Lexie-pedia, with his patient’s symptoms.  Intially, she can’t remember where, in the many medical books she has memorized, she saw the disease.  “Lexie-pedia is FROZEN!”  Alex complains.  (I LOVE HIM!)

But then Lexie remembers that the disease can be found in some obscure medical journal from 2004 with a light green cover.  In the next scene, we watch as Alex outfits the teen in this weird scary head gear, that makes her look like Johnny Five from those old Short Circuit films . . .

As if, on cue, Demi’s eyes go all buggy, and she freaks out.  So, of course, this was all Karev needed to diagnose her as having a small hole in her inner ear, that allowed her to hear everything that was going on inside her body.  YUCK!  Apparently, all this rare disease takes to cure, is a brief operation where the hole is plugged up.  After the operation, we know that Demi is sane again, because she is wearing a bandage around her head that looks like a really stylish headband . . .

Dear Demi,

Now that your “sane,” I’d really like my headband back.

XOXO

Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl

In Other News . . .

 . . . Callie and Arizona shared an impromptu sexy makeout session in the elevator . . .

Ooh, la, la!

But accomplished precisely NOTHING in terms of their relationship . . .

Boo, la, la 😦

Oh, and the Gas Man . . .

This pic NEVER gets old . . .

 . . . told Bailey . . .

 . . . that even though he sometimes flirts with random nurses, he saves all the GOOD flirting for her . . .

Shondra Rhimes, PLEASE don’t make us fall in love with the Gas Man, if you plan to rip him away from us next season, in order to use him on your new pilot!  (Although, I think it might be too late . . . because I’m in love already).

So, there you have it, “Shiny Happy People,” in a nutshell.  This was the LAST new episode of Grey’s before the show airs it’s purportedly “game-changing” two-hour season finale (with the hours entitled “Sanctuary” and “Death and all of His Friends,” respectively) next week.  Media sites have teased that the final two episodes of Season 6, will feature nothing less than a SHOOTING and a fairly major character death.  Here’s a sneak peak at the promo . . .

Thanks for the video, adam9316!

I’ll admit it.  I’m afraid . . . very afraid!  See you next week!

 

 

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Separating the Men (and the Women) from the Babies – A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Hook Line and Sinner”

This week’s installment of Grey’s Anatomy was all about making choices.  The episode also featured a lot of “baby talk” . . .

  . . . and not nearly enough shirtlessness and/or sex for my taste . . .

A Shirtless Justin Chambers is a TERRIBLE thing to waste!

As is a Shirtless Jesse Williams, for that matter!

What choices did our characters make this week?  Let’s analyze, shall we?

To Grandpa, or Not to Grandpa . . .

In the past, Mark Sloan has been known throughout Seattle Grace as the Resident Man Child, a walking Mid-Life Crisis in Scrubs, if you will.  The moments he wasn’t in the operating room (and, let’s face it, we almost NEVER see this guy operate), Mark could typically be found trolling for women . . . .

 . . . making sexually suggestive (and slightly creepy) comments to anyone who would listen,

“Hey baby, did I ever tell you about the big yacht I own?  It’s IN MY PANTS!”

 . . . and starring in sex tapes with actresses and call girls . . .

(Oh, wait . . . that last one only happened in REAL life)

However, lately, viewers have begun to notice a “softer side” of Mark Sloan.  During the last few episodes, Mark has been toying with the idea of settling  into a serious relationship, and starting a family.  This idea was first brought to the forefront a few episodes back, when Mark’s long lost 18-year old daughter, who he heretofore never knew existed, arrived on the scene and announced she was pregnant.

Mark and his daughter (Little Sloan) had previously discussed Mark raising his grandchild on his daughter’s behalf.  However, Little Sloan got cold feet, and decided to put the baby up for adoption.  In the opening scenes of this episode, Little Sloan arrives on Mark’s doorstep about to give birth.   Fortunately for Little Sloan, Mark lives in Doctor Central.   So, she didn’t even need to go to the hospital to deliver her baby.   Dr. Teddy Altman . . .

 . . . (who Sloan just so happened to be screwing, while his daughter’s water was breaking all over his Welcome Mat), delivered the child, with nothing more than a pair of scissors and a bunch of towels.  Once the baby was born, a highly hormonal Little Sloan began to have second thoughts about giving it up for adoption. 

And despite the fact that Little Sloan had Bad Mommy written all over her (Her idea of “baby gifts” was a messy purse filled with enough lame dollar store doodads to LITERALLY choke a baby!  These “bite-sized” toys might as well have had “Swallow Me and Die” written on their surfaces), Big Sloan seemed to think it was a GREAT idea!  He was thrilled at the prospect of being able to have a grandchild in his life.  Fortunately, Arizona stepped in to show him the error of his ways. 

In a heart-wrenching scene, Mark is forced to hand the child over to his new adoptive parents.  Once it is all over, he and his daughter vow to remain a part of one another’s lives.  So, it seems as though Seattle Grace’s most immature resident may have FINALLY grown up.  (Oh, and did I mention that Little Sloan was significantly less annoying this week, than she has been in past episodes?)

Oh Baby or No Baby . . .

Speaking of Arizona . . .

 . . . she and Callie seemed to be having baby issues of their own this week, since Callie wants to have a child, and Arizona doesn’t.  Throughout the episode, Callie tried a number of tactics to get Arizona aboard the Baby Train.

First Callie tried guided imagery.  “Picture a beautiful baby,” she prodded.

“I’m picturing a trip to Spain, a glass of Sangria, and you in a bikini,” replied Arizona.  “Oh, wait.   We can’t go to Spain . . . or DRINK, because of the BABY!”

Callie then tried to psychoanalyze Arizona, patronizingly explaining to her that the real reason Arizona didn’t want a child was that she was afraid it would get sick and die, like Arizona’s own brother, or the babies she treats at the hospital each day.  Arizona is offended by Callie’s insinuations.  “I’m not broken.   . .  I just don’t want a child,” Arizona explains, before storming out of the room.

And even though the couple seemingly made up at the episode’s conclusion, I am not entirely sure that this is something they will be able to overcome, in the long term.

To Be a D-Bag, or NOT to be a D-Bag . . .

Remember all those times, when Seattle Grace was in financial trouble, and Derek self-righteously lectured Chief Webber on the importance of not letting the interests of money and prestige override the need for a comfortable work environment, where doctors can work together as a team?  Remember that “Back to School” episide, where Derek tried to demonstrate that Seattle Grace was, above all, a “teaching hospital”?  Well, it appears, that “power corrupts,” because the Derek of this week’s episode has completely turned his back on everything he once believed.

For what seemed like the umpteenth time in the past few seasons, ANOTHER “Cardio God” entered the hallowed halls of Seattle Grace.  And, once again, the typically tough-as-nails, Cristina Yang, turned into a puddle of sycophantic mush around him.  Karev was right when he said she treated well-renown doctors like trading cards . . .

Collect them all!

At least Cristina is not afraid to ADMIT her flaws.  (I loved when she called herself a Cardiothoracic Whore!)  This, unfortunately, is more than I can say for Derek . . . 

Apparently, Seattle Grace is still in need of a Head of Cardiologogy.  And while, Teddy, who has been performing the job on temporary contract, would seem to be the most likely choice for the job, the prospect of getting a bigger name (in this case, “Dr. Evans”) to fill the position, put dollar signs in McDreamy’s puppy dog eyes.

In Derek’s defense, a skittish Teddy was screwing up all over the place, this week, sneezing on patients and failing to recognize that they were suffering from sepsis, before operating on them.  And, yes, the DULL Dr. Evans did seem like a “good surgeon.”  However, he was a Crappy Teacher, forcing Cristina to sit on the sidelines and watch a surgery she had scrubbed in on, while he performed the entire thing on his own.  Not to mention that the absence of the well-liked Teddy would have certainly caused a good deal of upheaval amongst many of the doctors — most notably, Mark Sloan who she is currently screwing.  Under normal circumstances, a doctor’s popularity and good teaching skills should not be the sole reasons for her getting a job.  However, for a Chief who got HIS job on a platform of “education and togetherness,” such reasons should certainly be persuasive ones.

Fortunately, for Teddy, she ultimately got to keep her job.  However, at the end of the episode, when Old Chief Webber makes a point to congratulate Shepherd on his decision to award loyalty over prestige, Derek defiantly admits that he had originally offered Dr. Evans the job, not Teddy.  However, Dr. Evans passed on it.  I’m not a fan of what “chiefing” is doing to Derek’s character  . . . Here’s hoping that Old Chief Webber resumes his post REALLY SOON!

“Sober up quick, Chief McBoozy!  We need YOU!”

To Threesome, or Not to Threesome . .  .

In other D-baggyish news, Owen came VERY close to cheating on Cristina, by almost making out with a vulnerable Teddy, in an admittedly sweet elevator scene.  Interestingly enough, THESE actions are NOT the ones with which I take issue.  After all, Owen ultimately DID NOT cheat (only because his pager went off . . . but still).  And, Owen and Teddy do have chemistry and a strong history together, so I can understand his moment of weakness. 

What I COULD NOT abide, was what Owen did NEXT.  In a highly uncharacteristic move, Cristina plays the Girlfriend Card with Owen, asking that he plead Teddy’s case to McDreamy, so she can keep her job.  Owen AGREES to do this.  However, once he gets inside the Chief’s office, he pleads DR. EVANS’s case instead, asserting that Teddy would be “just fine” if Derek didn’t choose her for the position.  One could argue that Owen truly believed that Dr. Evan was the “better man” for the job.  However, I think this had more to do with Owen’s own concerns that he won’t be strong enough to not make out with Teddy, the next time the two of them are stuck in an elevator . . .  And, if that ‘s the case, that seriously SUCKS for BOTH Teddy and Cristina!

To Grow Some Balls or NOT to Grow Some Balls . . .

In still MORE D-bag news, Alex treated his sort-of girlfriend Lexie like total crap this entire episode, berating her, making fun of her, and STEALING her surgeries.  When Lexie solves a medical mystery and ALMOST allows Alex to steal her thunder, it takes a tough love speech from Bailey (Doesn’t it always?), for Lexie to finally realize that she is being mistreated.  At the end of the episode, Lexie confronts Alex, by giving him a serious “I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR” – type talking to. 

Alex seems impressed.  He even gives Lexie a beer.  And you KNOW how boys hate parting with their beer.  But was it too little, to late?

Finally, in Bat-Sh&t Crazy News . . .

 . . . April continued to awkwardly fawn over the married Dr. Shepherd, much like the creepy school girl she played in that Glee episode a few months back . . .

I LOVED how Dr. Avery, a.k.a. Dr. Hotness . . .

 . . . totally called her out on her freak show behavior, not to mention skewered her with a few spot on impersonations.  “Oh, Chief Shepherd, you can spank me if I’m wrong. And I DO hope I’m wrong!”  He mimicked.

(Could somebody in the writing staff PLEASE give the funny and adorably sexy Jesse Williams more to do on this show?  A storyline?  A relationship?  A surgery?  ANYTHING AT ALL?  Need I remind you what he looks like with his shirt off?)

Anyway, methinks the slow boil of Bat Sh&t Crazy April is about to bubble over REALLY soon.  So, Derek should definitely hide his meat cleavers  . . .

 . . . and his BUNNIES . . .

 . . . both in the literal AND the metaphoric sense.  You can spank me if I’m wrong.  And I DO hope I’m wrong . . .

 

 

 

 

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Back to School – A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Time Warp”

When I heard that this  Thursday’s installment of Grey’s Anatomy was going to be a “flashback episode,” one that intermingled the characters’ present day experiences with events of the past,  in order to shed some light on the characters’ current behavior, I found myself struck with an overwhelming sense of deja vu.  I couldn’t kick this feeling that I had been here before.  That I had seen this before . . .

Oh, yeah . . . now I remember . . .

In an effort to differentiate himself from former Chief Webber McBoozy (although after 45 days of sobriety, I guess it is no longer appropriate, nor fair, to call him that), and to make a name for himself as the “touchy feely” Nu-Chief, Dr. McDreamy Shepherd reinstitutes Lecture Day at Seattle Grace.

“See?  I’m the sensitive one.  Look into my puppy dog eyes,  and tell me I’m not sensitive.  Just don’t make me cry, because I’ll punch your lights out, if you do.”

As guest lecturers, Shepherd commandeers Bailey, Callie, and Chief McBoozy Webber (sorry, force of habbit).  Webber takes a bit of extra persuading on Shepherd’s part.  After all, learning that you have just been demoted from “Chief of Surgery” to just plain “surgeon” does not exactly make one feel all “happy-go-teachy.”  Nonetheless, Webber ultimately agrees to guest lecture, and what appears to be the entire staff of Seattle Grace packs a rather large auditorium to see him do so. 

(Seriously, Seattle Grace?  Your entire staff?  This is why you aren’t ranked in the top ten!  This is why your patients die all the time!  Doesn’t anyone practice medicine here any more?)

But I digress . . . Here’s what we learned from our three lecturers:

Webber’s Lesson: “When I was your age . . .”

Our first flashback took us all the way back to 1982 – a time when the medical profession was very much an all-boys club, an all white boys club;  a time when doctors were largely ignorant about and frightened of immune system-related diseases and homosexuality.  It was also a time when people dressed like this . . .

Back then Webber was a just teetotaling, ambitious young resident trying to make a name for himself at Seattle Grace, while, at the same time, boinking Meredith’s Mommy, Ellis Grey, in the on-call room.  Yes, apparently, they did that in the 80s too.  Talk about sexually transmitted diseases . . .  How often do you think they sterilize that place?

“28 more years of this and we will ALL be under quarantine . . .”

When Ellis and Webber encounter a patient with a rare bacterial infection, they begin to suspect that he may have GRID, Gay Related Immune Deficiency Disorder, or AIDS, as it is now commonly called.  This was a highly sensitive subject for any doctor to broach during that time, let alone a young resident with minimal job security.  After all, few cases of the disorder had been discovered at this point, and very little was known about the disease. 

Apparently, homosexuality was just not something you talked about back then, it being a time before

 Will and Grace and . . .  well . . .

Grey’s Anatomy!

Initially, the patient takes Webber’s inquiry into his sexual orientation very badly.  He leaves the hospital in a huff, refusing treatment.  Unfortunately, a few weeks later, he returns, now extremely ill and desperate for help.  The problem is that, now that his secret is out, most of the doctors and nurses at Seattle Grace are afraid of infection and unwilling to help him.  THIS MUST BE A JOB FOR  . . .

 . . . no, not them, just Young Webber and Young Ellis Grey.

The dynamic duo risk their careers and, as far as they know, their lives, to save this patient.  Fortunately, the surgery goes well.  (Yay!) But . . . then the patient dies anyway (Boo!)  But, not before Webber learns of his own fallibility and the importance of maintaining your humanity as a surgeon.  (Yay!)  Then, afterwards, Ellis bullies the future Chief McBoozy into taking his first alcoholic drink. (Boo!)   But, before, that, we got to see how adorable Meredith looked at age 5.  (Yay!)

Needless to say, it was a very emotional rollercoaster-esque lecture.  Yet, at its conclusion, Webber gives a rousing speech about the importance of doctors adhering to the Hippocratic Oath.  He then raises his right hand and recites the Oath himself.  Admittedly, it was some pretty powerful stuff, and really served to highlight Webber’s true love of medicine.  Clearly affected by his own speech, the Old Chief ultimately decides to accept McDreamy’s offer and return to work.  (Yay!)

Bailey’s Lesson: Shark tales, a.k.a. The Birth of the Nazi

Before Miranda Bailey became the Nazi; before she turned into a strong, smart, powerful, but often angry, woman who looks like this . . .

Bailey was an overachieving but painfully shy and polite-to-a-fault intern, who looked like this . . .

The year was 2003.  While medicine had come a long way since 1982, there were still many obstacles for women who wanted to succeed in the healthcare industry.  And for many women, their biggest obstacle was one another.  That’s right.   Mean girls, unfortunately, stuck around long past the 80s . .

This movie came out in 2004 . . .

Despite the fact that Mean Girls wasn’t due out in theaters for another year, one of them had managed to sneak into Seattle Grace.  Bailey’s resident “advisor” is  a bitch with a Capital B.  And, like any two-dimensional villian, this 30-something year old woman tortured Young Bailey with the zeal, intensity (and maturity) of a 16-year old cheerleader who just found out that her boyfriend has decided to go to prom with the class nerd.

Be careful Bailey!  This never ends well for people like you . . .

Fortunately, for Bailey, she is due for a major personality transplant and stat!  And who performs said transplant, you ask?  None other than Superman Webber of course!  “Surgery is a shark tank, and sharks have teeth.  Be a shark, not a minnow,” the then-Chief instructs Bailey. 

And I bet you know what happens next . . .

That’s right!  Our Neo Nazi Bailey solves a difficult medical mystery.  Then,  in what we now know was the first of her eloquently angry, yet rousing, monologues, Bailey hands her bitchy resident advisor her ass on a platter for ordering countless unnecessary surgeries for a patient, who merely required medication.  “You are going to be a brilliant surgeon one day,” commends Webber (and we know that he is right!)

In addition to being an awesome surgeon, Bailey is also terrific public speaker.  She owns both the stage and her audience, awarding them for class participation with chocolates.  And as a nearly perpetual student, I can tell you that candy bribes WORK and work well!

Callie’s Lesson: “Everybody f&*ks Alex.”

You know who’s not so hot in the public speaking department?  The typically loud and brash Callie.  After vomiting up her breakfast in anticipation of the big event, Callie stumbles around stage, head tucked inside her notes, mumbling almost incoherently about the club footed patient her and Alex cared for back in 2006, when she was a new resident.

With Alex’s help, however, Callie ultimately recovers nicely.  She recounts for the group the immensely gratifying experience of repairing the leg of a 28-year old student who was told he could never walk.  When all of the other doctors discounted the patient, and berated Callie for mismanaging his expectations, Callie refused to give up.  As a result, this formerly bed-ridden man can now roam freely (with the help of some crutches, of course). 

And this wouldn’t be Grey’s Anatomy if the story didn’t end with an on-call room boink fest between Alex and Callie . . .

“I am so much better at doing this than public speaking  . . .”

Apparently, Alex has screwed the entire staff at Seattle Grace, and most of its patients.  That is one dirty boy!

Not only is Alex a slut, he is also, apparently a liar.  And Callie catches him in a real whopper.  As punishment, she forces him to perform the surgery he claimed to have already done by himself in an elevator shaft, even though that surgery was actually completed by Callie’s ex-hubby, the now deceased, George.

R.I.P. Dude!  The show hasn’t been the same since you left . . . really.

So, there you have it, folks.  A love letter to medicine, with three flashbacks, two sex scenes, lots of chocolate, and a shout out to an old friend.  Not bad for a single episode.

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Love, Hearts, and Dismembered Limbs (a.k.a. The Gushy Stuff): A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Valentine’s Day Massacre”

Let’s try a bit of free association, shall we?  What is the first word that comes to your mind when you think of Valentine’s Day?    Is it “love,” “hearts,” “relationships,” “sex?”  Or, perhaps your single, and the words you think about instead are “darkness,” “depression,” “drunkeness,” and “binge-eating”?

Actually, the word that comes to my mind is none of the above.  Rather, it is “pressure.”  For guys, Valentine’s Day inevitably brings with it the pressure to “impress your significant other.”  For girls, there is the pressure to “define your relationship.”  For singles, there is pressure to “obliterate the evening in as painless a way as possible.” 

But it’s not only humans who experience pressure on Valentine’s Day, television shows do too – particularly television shows based primarily on relationships.  These shows experience the pressure to be even sappier and mushy-gushier than they normally are.  And for an often sappy, mushy-gushy, show like Grey’s Anatomy, that is one tall order!

So, how did the Valentine’s Day-themed installment of Grey’s Anatomy do?  Let’s take a close  look at the candy conversation hearts that made up this episode, to find out . . .

“Eat Your Heart Out”

Someone once said that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”  (And here,  I always thought she was referring to heart disease . . . go figure.)  However, in this Grey’s episode, it was not the males, but the females , who showed their love through eating. 

When the episode opens, McDreamy is informed that one of  his first duties as “Nu-Chief” is to attend a hoity toity fundraiser breakfast.  As if it wasn’t bad enough that Derek would be expected to take time out of his busy “saving lives” schedule to eat donuts and beg for money, as his “Post-It Wife,” Meredith was expected to go too.  And those of you who have seen Meredith know that eating is not exactly her strong suit . . .

At first, Meredith declines to attend the breakfast because she despises food has important surgeries to attend to.  Things change when she meets a married couple and their doting waiter, all of whom were seriously injured during a restaurant roof collapse.  The waiter slips Karev a $50 to ensure that his bed is placed next to the wife of the  couple.  That’s one well-paid waiter, if he has spare $50’s lying around his pockets!  Just saying . . .)

When he thinks the wife is sleeping, the waiter explains how he has known this woman for 15 years.  Apparently, she used to dine alone with him each week, order ing something different from the menu every time.  The waiter soon fell in love with this woman. 

Unforunately, all is not fair in love and eating.  One day, the woman brought her soon-to-be husband to the restaurant as her date.  She continued coming back to the restaurant each week, and the waiter was forced to watch the couple’s courtship.  It was he who helped the husband to propose by placing  the wife’s engagement ring in the crème brule. 

Through the years,  the waiter watched as the husband began to order food for the wife — the same item each week. Inevitably, the couple’s conversation began to dwindle and lessen.  Soon they didn’t speak to one another at all.

When the waiter finally closes his eyes, the wife opens hers and winks at Meredith to let her know that she has heard everything the waiter said.  The wife admits that she had also fallen in love with the waiter.  That’s why she came back to the restaurant each week.  Because complex surgeries are clearly insufficient to occupy the minds of these brilliant doctors, Karev and Meredith begin to make bets as to which party will express their love for one another first, using the $50 the waiter initially gave Karev.

Unfortunately, there is no time for long-winded speeches for these star-crossed foodies.  Complications plague both the husband and the waiter and, in an event that only happens on television, the two men are rushed into surgery simultaneously.  When inquiring as to their status, the wife admits to Meredith that she waited for the waiter for a long time.  But, finally, she made a choice.  She chose her husband, and she loved him dearly.

Ultimately, the waiter dies, the husband lives, and, as a result of the wife’s “Choose your husband” speech, Meredith decides to go to the fundraising breakfast after all.  (So, a poor waiter had to DIE to convince you to eat a donut.  Real nice, Meredith.  REAL NICE!)

“At least it was a worthy cause!  Mmmmmm . . . donuts!”

“Wear Your Heart On Your Sleeve” (And your sleeve on your thigh . . .)

Remember the television show Felicity, where the titular character got dumped, cut her hair short, and single-handedly ruined the series in the process?

Well, apparently, Lexie, who has just been dumped by Mark “the Hypocrite” Sloan, was too busy studying to watch much television.  When a newly-single Mark approaches a young blonde doctor to hit on her, he is disturbed to find that the “young blonde” is Lexie.  And, you know what?  As much as I hate to say it, I actually like her new look . . .

After teasing her about her renegade appearance change (he called her Surgical Barbie), the lone likeable Mercy Wester (or Doctor Hotness, as I like to call him), challenges Lexie not just to change her mousy appearance, but to also change her mousy personality.  Coming from someone less attractive, that remark would be considered D-bagishly insensitive.  However, coming from Doctor Hotness . .  .

 . . . .

Sorry . . . I was fantasizing about Doctor Hotness and lost my train of thought.  Wait . . . what was I saying?

“Now that you mention it, I can definitely see a resemblance . . .”

Surgical Barbie  Lexie gets the opportunity to meet Doctor Hotness’s challenge, when a shy loner dishwasher from the same restaurant where the husband and wife used to dine, comes into the ER with a severed arm.  Apparently, the dishwasher was so forgettable that the dude sat armless and unttended to for hours, while his unattached arm lay lifeless in a sink nearby.  The dishwasher pleads with Lexie to salvage his arm.  “I just want to be normal,” he cries.

When the residents explain that there is no way that the dishwasher’s arm can be salvaged, Lexie uses her photographic memory to call to mind a special procedure whereby a severed body part is fused to another body part until it heals.  In a strongly worded speech, Lexie demands that extraordinary measures be taken to save this patient’s arm.  “That was definitely not mousy,” commends Doctor Hotness, in what had to be the biggest backhanded compliment a man has ever given a woman.

Unforunately, no good deed goes unpunished.  When the desperate-to-be-normal dishwasher wakes up to find that the doctors have attached his arm to his leg, he is absolutely horrified and furious.  “You made me into a freak!”  He yells.

However, Lexie calms him down by explaining to him that after this surgery, the dishwasher will no longer be ignored like he once was.  Instead, he will be “special and unique.”  Most importantly, after he sues the pants off the restaurant, he will also be rich. 

So, Happy Valentine’s Day to the No-Longer Mousy, Surgical Barbie and the Richly Unique Dishwasher Freak! 

“Love Means Never Having to Say I Killed a Patient . . .”

If you recall, at the conclusion of last week’s episode, Nu-Chief McDreamy rehired the formerly fired April, who was let go from Seattle Grace, after making a careless error that resulted in a patient’s death.  Now she’s back and is lodged so far up Nu-Chief’s butt, that you can’t tell where one ends and another begins.  Naming herself as Shepherd’s unofficial assistant, April follows McDreamy around like a lost puppy — reading him his schedule, picking out his clothing for him, and even going to his home to pick out Meredith’s clothing for her.

When McDreamy calls her out on this, April breaks down, admiting that, since the incident, she has been deathly afraid (no pun intended) to perform surgery.  April still hasn’t come to terms with the loss of the patient she killed.  In fact, she relives the traumatic experience every day.  For that reason, she fears that she is not a good doctor. 

Taking on the fatherly role previously held by Old Chief McDrunky (who was completely absent during this episode), McDreamy explains that it is April’s good heart and empathetic soul that make her a good doctor.    Awwww!

“My Daddy is MY Valentine!”

In other fatherly news, Pregnant Little Sloan has returned from her stint on Private Practice  dangerous operation.  As soon as she has returns, she tricks Callie into giving her a free sonogram.  Little Sloan then asks Callie for a “piece of paper” proving that her baby is healthy.  When Callie demands to know why Little Sloan needs such a document, Little Sloan admits that she plans to give her baby up for adoption.

Callie is horrified that Little Sloan would keep this a secret from Papa McSteamy, and demands that she comes clean to him.  Bratty Little Sloan declines to do so.  In fact, she only admits her secret, after Callie threatens to tell McSteamy on her own. 

Stunned by how attached he has grown to his unborn grandson, McSteamy shocks everyone by offering to raise it himself.  Then Callie shocks everyone again by offering to help raise the baby.   It’s all a bit  . . . shocking.

“Diapers cost HOW MUCH?”

The Gay/Straight baby raising storyline didn’t work on Will and Grace, and probably wouldn’t work here.  Shondra Rhimes undoubtedly sensed this (just as she sensed what an annoying character Little Sloan has turned out to be), and proceeded to murder the prospective storyline within a few moments of its presentation.  Little Sloan declines her papa’s generous offer and sneaks out of town without even telling him goodbye.

Good riddens, I say!

“Ménage a trois?’

Tired of being given the cold shoulder by Owen,  since her unfortunate drunken confession of love for him, Teddy, in a burst of uncharacteristic girlishness, approaches Owen and proceeds to babble uncontrollably about loneliness, puppies and bikini waxes.  Ahhh, yes . . . of course!   There is no better way to get a boy to like you, than to smother him with girl talk. 

Ummm . . . Teddy?  If your former boyfriend used to listen to you talking like this, it was only because you were sleeping with him.  F.Y.I.  No straight guy wants to hear about bikini waxes from a woman who isn’t giving him sex .  . .

When this approach doesn’t work (shocker), Teddy tries another one.  She approaches Owen and Christina together.  (I’m liking this method better already . . .). 

However, instead of propositioning them for a threesome (darn), she simply offers them her hand in friendship.  While Teddy recognizes that it is nearly impossible to “unring the bell” of a drunken love confession and repair a broken friendship, she vows to “try like hell.” 

Because, I really like this character, I hope she succeeds . . . (and, ultimately, gives us fans the threesome we so deserve for putting up with this show for as long as we have).

“Let’s Go Speed Dating!”

Eventually, it must have occurred to Shondra that none of the storylines in this “Valentine’s Day” episode of Grey’s were all that romantic.  Recognizing that all of her current couples were either “mature and established” or “in the midst of a breakup,” Shondra succumbed to the pressure and decided to advance a brand new, fledgling, relationship at warp speed . . .

If you recall, last week I was giddy with anticipation for the inevitable coupling of tough-as-nails Bailey with the Sexy McGas Man.  After all, there is nothing I love more than to swoon over the first signs of companionate game-playing and torturous unrequited love — both in real life, and on my television screen. 

Mmmmmm . . .  the longing looks, the heated arguments, the cat and mouse games, the inevitable jealousy when one of the pair finds someone new who is completely wrong for them, the close encounters that almost go there . . . but don’t.  And, finally, (after an entire season of will they, won’t they?) a hot and steamy makeout session that devolves into coupledom.  It makes me weak in the knees just thinking about it   . . .

Unforunately, Shondra Rhimes burst my sexy balloon within seconds of the episode’s opening, by having Gas Man immediately ask Bailey out on a date.  When she initially turned him down, I gave a big sigh of relief.   “There may be hope for this non-couple/ couple yet,”  I thought. 

But then stupid Arizona had to go and screw things up!  Poopy Head started egging the couple on, like the catty middle school girl she really is.  And, to my chagrin, it worked.  By the end of the episode, Bailey admits to Mc Gas Man, “I like you.”

She then agrees to go on a date with him.    (Hasn’t anyone told Shondra that sometimes the build up is better than the climax?)

Oh well!  I guess I will have to rely on my own life for unrequited love and sexual tension.  Tomorrow is, after all, Singles Awareness Day . . .

 

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Hail to Nu-Chief – A Grey’s Anatomy Recap of “State of Love and Trust”

It’s not easy being a new leader . . .

You often find yourself forced to reconcile the demons of leaders past . . .

There are obstacles to overcome . . .

 . . . and battles to be won.

And, of course, you will inevitably have to face your detractors . . .

Don’t worry, you haven’t inadvertently stepped into the wrong blog article.  (The Grey’s picture is still at the top of your screen.  That’s why I put it there!)  I am simply attempting to establish, by way of analogy, the challenges faced by our favorite McDreamy doctor on his first day as interim chief. 

Sure, he looked a bit nervous giving that opening speech. And, yes, that tie under his lab coat was misguided.  (Christina was right when she said he looked like an undertaker.)  But, overall, when given time to adapt to his new position,  Dr. Shepherd, like another charismatic leader we all know and love is about to do, soon hit his stride and, eventually, kind of kicked ass. 

With that in mind, let’s take a look at the various events that comprised Derek Shepherd’s first day as interim chief   . . .

The Gas Man Cometh . . .

Who says new, randomly introduced, doctors can’t be instantly likeable?

(Yeah, I wasn’t talking about you guys . . .)

I’m talking about Mercy West’s resident anesthesiologist, whose chemistry with the good Dr. Bailey crackled and popped every time the two shared the screen.  Yes, even a Nazi deserves some loving every once in a while.  And I’ll be darned if I don’t smell a bit of romance in the air . . .

Sure, things got off to a bit of a rough start, with that whole “patient waking up on the operating table” thing.  The understandably traumatized heart patient blamed Miranda for losing her cool during surgery, and refused to let her operate a second time.  Like the patient, Miranda too was playing the blame game, but her axe fell on the Gas Man, who she claimed dropped the ball out of pure laziness and boredom, and under-dosed the patient.

As Bailey became more and more heated and intense, the Gas Man remained almost maddeningly calm and collected.  He merely listened to Miranda and let her burn off steam before gently proving her wrong.  As it turned out, the incident was no one’s fault.  Rather, a freak side effect of the patient’s heart condition made her metabolize the anesthesia abnormally fast. 

Don’t get me wrong, I luuuved the Gas Man, but I’m not sure that I’m buying his excuse.  As an anesthesiologist, isn’t it kind of your job to ascertain whether your patients’ have freak conditions that make them immune to your procedures?  I certainly think so . . . but what do I know . . .

Anyway, Gas Man calls Miranda on her poo, with a sexy smile that instantly disarms her.  Miranda’s admission that she “yells when she is upset” (understatement of the year), is about as close to an apology as this confident doc has made in six seasons.  Enjoy it while it lasts Gas Man, because I am pretty sure it’s the last one you will be getting for a while . . .

As for the follow-up surgery, Traumatized Patient allows resident Meredith Grey to perform the procedure, and everything goes off without a hitch.  (Well, aside from the whole “being awake during surgery” situation from earlier . . .)

After grappling with her own control issues, the Miraculous Miranda still has enough energy left over to advise Nu-Chief McDreamy on how to handle the administrative aspect of “Patient Awake-gate.”  On her advice, McDreamy swallows his fear and pride, and (gasp) actually apologizes to the patient for her nightmarish experiences on the operating table.  Nicely played, Nu-Chief.  Score One for You.

Ass Me No More Questions . . .

Remember when Lexie broke Mark’s you-know-what while the two were getting it on in the on call room?  Well, apparently, those two aren’t the only on-screen couple who like it rough.  Throughout most of this episode, Owen was screwing Christina’s brains out with a neediness and territoriality verging on the barbaric.

(“So easy, a caveman could do her . . .”)

Seeing as Teddy has been giving her former cardio minion the cold shoulder (following the elder doc’s own drunken admission to Owen that Christina would willingly trade her boyfriend for time on Teddy’s service), Christina has some extra time on her hands.  And, boy, does she know how to spend it.  In fact, one of the couple’s literally hot and steamy ventilation room love sessions became so intense that Christina ended up scarred with painful heat vent indentations seared into her ass . . . 

That’s going to leave a mark . . .

Later, while the two are once again going at it, Teddy finally gives in and pages Christina for an important surgery.  Owen forces Christina to ignore it and continue screwing.  Bad move, Owen.  NO ONE comes between Christina and her heart surgeries . . . NO ONE! 

After inadvertently learning about Christina’s tortured past with Burke, Owen confronts his lover about her general closed-offedness with him.  Although she initially staves him off, eventually, Christina comes clean.  In a tearful speech that was, by far, the evening’s best, Christina explains her tortured history with the dastardly and devious Isaiah Washington.

“He took something from me. He took little pieces of me,” Christina notes of the dickwad who made gay slurs at T.R. Knight, beat up Patrick Dempsey, and left her at the altar.  (OK, perhaps I am mixing TV with reality here, but still .  . )

(Pure eeevvvil!)

“Because when you asked me to ignore Teddy’s page . . . you took a piece of me, and I let you.  And that will never happen again,” she concludes.

And you know what?  I think these two crazy kids may actually make it . . .

Speaking of Dickwads . . .

Unfortunately, sex injuries aren’t the cure-all for all relationships gone rotten.  This tough lesson is learned by Mark “McSteamy” Sloan as he gives Lexie the silent treatment for the entire episode and bitches and moans about being dumped and cheated on by her, despite his own just-as-bad behavior.  When his best friend, Callie, calls him on his hypocritical crap, Sloan blubbers about her taking Lexie’s side, instead of his own. 

(“You think you have problems.  I have to sit in my own poo . . .”)

Callie decides that this cranky baby needs a nap, and lays him down in bed with her and her girlfriend, Arizona.  “This is not working for me,” Arizona notes gently.

Yeah, we hear ya, Arizona.  It’s not exactly working for us either . . .

A Shout Out to All of the Little People . . .

Sloan’s blubbery antics might not be working for Arizona, but Karev most certainly is.  Initially skeptical about having to spend a day on Arizona’s pediatric service, Karev soon finds himself wrapped up in a case of a teenage boy complaining of stomach pains.  Apparently, the boy’s parents believe said boy to be a lazy excuse-making malingerer instead of a legitimately ill child. 

After receiving a lecture from Arizona about having to “advocate for the little people,” Alex tough talks the disbelieving parents into OK’ing the doctors’ performance of a surgical procedure on their son.  Arizona is impressed.  Although Alex’s initial diagnosis is ruled out from the surgery, during a follow up procedure, Alex finds the source of the teen’s problem.  It turns out that the boy was not faking his condition after all.  He was actually very sick.

With some prodding from Arizona, Alex found himself forced to admit that advocating for a young boy who couldn’t fight for himself, and, ultimately saving his life, was “pretty hard core.”

Now if Alex would have just taken his shirt off at some point during the episode, this storyline would have been picture perfect . . .

(Maybe next time . . .)

The Changing of the Guard . . .

You know who wasn’t being particularly hard core throughout this episode?  Old Chief Webber.  When given the decision between entering rehab for the opportunity of possibly getting his old job back once clean, and tendering his resignation, Old Chief stewed in his own juices . . . for 12 Hours.  In doing so, he succeeded in making a total ass of himself in front of the entire hospital staff, who watched him from a window, as he accused Derek of being opportunistic, and then, like McSteamy, proceeded to mope around all day . . .

I’m always impressed by how unabashedly nosy Seattle Grace doctors are.  I mean, I get it.  When your coworkers (particularly your bosses) fight in the office, it is pretty awesome to watch/hear.  But most of  us regular folk have the decency to at least pretend to work while we listen/watch.  Not so much, at this hospital.  Maybe if these doctors were less focused on interoffice drama, there wouldn’t be so many cut L-vac wires, jaundiced patients, and patients who wake up during surgery.  Am I right, or am I right?

Eventually, it is Champion Ass Kicker Miranda who saves the day and beats Webber out of his funk.  “Be the Chief!”  She instructs.

Except  . . . Webber can’t really do that anymore.  But he can agree to go into rehab.  And so, he does.

With Webber finally out of his hair and off his conscience, Derek is finally able to make the motivational staff speech he chickened out on during the episode’s opening.  He promises to honor Old Chief McBoozy’s legacy.  And therefore, does not fire the Mercy Westers that Old Chief took in as a result of the merger (darn).

 In fact, he goes one step further, by hiring back Mercy Wester, April. 

Remember her?  She was the one that the Chief fired for failing to recognize soot on a patient’s lungs and accidentally killing the patient, as a result.  Apparently, with Katherine Heigel’s absence becoming increasingly more regular, Grey’s did not have enough female docs on which to inflict funny sexual injuries. 

Way to go April .  . . welcome back to the team.  I suggest you cover your ass . . . literally.

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All Work and No Play (Well, Maybe Some Play . . .) – A Grey’s Anatomy Recap

                So, I was all set to do this recap, when it occurred to me that I didn’t know what this episode was called.  The TV.com Episode Guide actually lists Thursday’s Grey’s Anatomy episode title as “I Like You So Much Better When You’re Naked.”  Seriously?   Is that not the longest episode title you have ever seen?  Even if you boil it down to its initials (as recappers and fangirls tend to do), it is reduced merely to the highly unwieldy ILYSMBWYN.

             And yet, the title, untenable as it may be, pretty accurately describes how I generally feel about Grey’s Anatomy.  Because, honestly, who really watches Grey’s for the medical stuff?  We used to have ER for that.  Now, I guess we have that Mercy show . . .

            If I had my druthers, McDreamy and Karev would be out of their scrubs way more often than in them.  That being said, I was genuinely surprised at how much I enjoyed this installment of Grey’s Anatomy, particularly seeing as it contained virtually no nudity at all, and focused almost entirely on the career ambitions of our main characters.  Apparently, even though we, as fans, don’t give two poos about the Seattle Grace staff’s prowess as doctors, they care a heck of a lot . . .

           Here’s my take on what happened  . . .

Chicken pox = foreplay

                Our favorite lesbian medical practitioners, Arizona and Callie, are getting jiggy in the on-call room (one of the episode’s few opportunities to illustrate the obligatory “naked”ness of the series) when Arizona discovers a round boil on Callie’s body and instantly diagnoses her as having the chicken pox.  Apparently, when Callie was a little girl, her daddy was much too busy (doing whatever it is super rich hotel magnates do) to allow his little girl to play with “chicken pox kids” so that she could contract the illness at a younger, significantly more convenient, age.

             Arizona, who claims to also never have had the chicken pox (And here I thought that exposure to “the pox” was a prerequisite for becoming a pediatrician), literally avoids Callie like the plague, commandeering Lexie to be her caretaker.  Lexie and Mark take turns caring for Callie.  And by “caring,” I mean talking her ear off about how each of them cheated on their relationship but do not want to tell one another about their respective indiscretions. Later in the episode, Arizona and Lexie watch as Mark gives the Itchy Callie a much-needed (and very sexy, especially for a platonic duo) back rub.

            Clearly turned on by all that “rubbing,” Arizona confesses to Lexie that she actually has had the chicken pox before (so, maybe I was right, after all, about the whole “prerequisite” thing).  However, she lied about it, because she feared that caring for Callie while she was pox-covered would somehow make their relationship “less sexy.”  Ummm . . .  really?  Now, I would find this remark shallow coming from any human being, but particularly a person who has chosen a career in the healthcare industry.  Ultimately, Arizona crawls into bed with the Poxy Callie, confident that her relationship can stay “sexy,” ugly chicken pimples and all. 

                  While I was happy that the two reconciled, I have to say, I was a little pissed that Arizona never admitted to Callie that she had already been exposed to the pox.  Instead, Arizona “bravely” told Callie she “didn’t care” if “she got chicken pox” from her lover.  So, now, Callie thinks Arizona is a selfless and altruistic human being, as opposed to the self-absorbed airhead biatch she has just proven herself to be . . .

McSteamy = McHypocrite

            Speaking of self-absorbed airhead biatches, Mark proved himself to be one as well during this episode.  Throughout most of the show, Mark waxed poetic about loving Lexie sooo much and feeling soooo guilty over his indiscretion with former fling Addison last week.  He just “got caught up” in the emotion of it all and “couldn’t control himself.” (Riiiight.  Because, nothing says “aphrodisiac” like an unborn grandbaby suffering amniotic band syndrome and a long-lost daughter suffering from medical and emotional trauma, as a result.)  Seeing as Lexie appeared to feel equally guilty about her roll in the hay with the married Karev, and seemed to be equally in love with Mark, I really thought these two crazy kids could act like adults, and work it out.

            I was only half right.  When Mark admitted his fling to Lexie, she was understanding, and even a bit relieved.  “Now, we are even,” she explained, as she copped to doing the nasty with Karev.  Mark, on the other hand — a guy who is best known for cheating with his best friend’s wife — chose this moment as an opportunity to suddenly become completely judgmental and self-righteous. 

               Mark was appalled that Lexie could even think of cheating on him.  After all, all he did was tell her that he would choose his virtual stranger daughter over her any day, before fleeing the state and flying cross country to screw a former fling.  “I can’t even look at you now,” he seethed piously, as he stalked off, leaving Lexie alone to ponder her own misdeeds.

Izzie and Alex are Dunzo . . . for now.

            Lexie and Mark weren’t the only pair to call it quits this week.  At the opening of the episode, Karev wakes up in bed after an amorous night with Lexie, only to find that his prodigal wife, Izzie, has returned.  Having pretty much freaked out (understandably, to some extent), following her near-terminal brush with brain cancer and subsequent firing, Izzie seemed to be in a much better place than we had seen from her in a long time. 

                  The long-MIA doc was optimistic about taking on a new job opportunity at a hospital in nearby Tacoma (even if, as Derek snobbily mentioned, the hospital did not make it into the coveted Top Twenty ranking).  Additionally, she was thrilled about her newly clean bill of health, and actually seemed excited to rekindle her relationship with her husband ,Alex.  Izzie was even understanding of Alex’s indiscretion with Lexie, explaining to him that the two of them would work through this bump in the road together.

               Unfortunately, for Izzie, Alex wasn’t having any of it.  In what was likely the most heartfelt and, yet most backhanded, compliment ever, Alex explains to Izzie that he loves her, because she helped him to realize that he was a “good person.”  However, now that Alex knows he is a “good person,” he has decided that he is too good for Izzie.  And so, he hopes that she will leave and never come back . . . but she should be happy about it, of course.

              Although Meredith begs her to stay (for specific reasons that I will detail in just a bit), a heartbroken Izzie packs her bags and leaves Seattle . . . for good?

“That’s Chief McDreamy, to You!”

            Surprisingly, Meredith, typically the darkest and twistiest of them all, seems fairly happy and well-adjusted throughout most of this episode.  When Derek informs Meredith that he wants to go to the Medical Board and rat out Chief Drunky McDrunkerson for falling off the wagon, Meredith begs him not to do so.  She does this by adorably evoking the “Post It” Marriage that binds the couple together forever (hopefully). 

              Initially, Derek bows to the all-powerful Post-It.  However, when Chief fails to appear at an important and complex surgery (after Derek has confronted him by “subtly” placing a bottle of booze on his desk) Derek becomes more determined than ever to throw Chief Boozer under the buss, for the good of the hospital.  Of course, the fact that Derek would be made acting Chief of Staff in Chief Webber’s absence doesn’t hurt either.

            When Derek informs Meredith that his first action as Chief would be to hire back the wrongly terminated Izzie (see “reasons for staying” above), Meredith relinquishes her Post-It ultimatum on her friend’s behalf.  At the conclusion of the episode, a drunken, passed-out, Chief is unceremoniously demoted.  And so, Chief McDreamy begins his rise to the Seattle Grace throne  . . .

Owen makes a choice on Christina’s Behalf

            Once again, Owen and Christina showcased what was, in my humble opinion, the best plotline of the evening.  As you might recall, at the conclusion of last week’s episode, Christina had impulsively offered Owen up to Cardio God Terry in exchange for her staying at Seattle Grace as Christina’s mentor.  Teddy, still very much in love with Owen, refused to let Christina forget her not-so-tactful statement.  The more-experienced, but less lucky-in-love Doc proceeded to lord Christina’s words over her head, giving her the cold shoulder through most of the episode.

            This caused the normally cold Christina to grow unusually introspective.  At lunchtime, she interrogated the rest of the Seattle Grace crew, hoping for least one of them to admit that they were more passionate about surgery than their respective relationships.  “This is what you guys talk about during lunch?”  The New Hot Doc inquired incredulously.  (Sorry, buddy, you may be pretty to look at, but you are way too mature and, let’s face it, normal, to hang out with this bunch of crazies . . .)

            Ultimately, Christina finds the justification she is looking for, not in her friends, but in a patient of hers.  She commiserates deeply with a rather obnoxious opera singer with a tumor on his throat, who would rather die than lose his precious voice, even if dying would bring about an untimely end to his relationship with his doting gay lover.  Teddy, although she staunchly refuses to admit it, seems to commiserate with the ass-like patient as well, opting to remove his tumor in such a way that his voice is saved, even though doing so will create a riskier road ahead for the opera singer.

            In the last few minutes of the episode, Teddy gets plastered, and uses that as an opportunity to spill the beans to Owen about Christina’s insensitive earlier statement.  I immediately became concerned that Owen would do the “typical guy thing” and become all hurt and wounded over the remark, possibly getting drunk and sleeping with Teddy out of a pure need for revenge against Christina.  (After all, that’s most likely what I would do, in a situation like this . . .)

            Fortunately, Owen is clearly a better man than I am a woman.  Instead of shunning Christina, upon confronting his medicine-obsessed girlfriend, he grabs her and kisses her passionately, ”People do matter. I matter.  We matter. You don’t get to toss me aside. I won’t let you,” Owen insists resolutely.  And at that moment, the entire female population of Grey’s Anatomy fans’, myself included, allowed their panties to drop to the floor . . . .

            And that, my friends, is the reason why I continue to watch this show . . .

 

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