Who’s the evilest of them all? Three new contenders for the crown arrive in Storybrooke, but the true winner is someone you’d never expect…unless you saw the promos
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“WILL ALL YOU CRAZY DEAD PEOPLE SHUT THE F UP?” Charlie and I are trying to make a Burp Remix of ‘You All Everybody,’ and I can’t hear myself think! Now I know how Dr. Dolittle feels . . .”
If Desmond-centric episodes represent the “Thinking Man’s Lost,” Hurley-centric episodes are the “Funny Man’s Lost.” They generally never cover a lot of ground, storyline-wise, but rest assured, there will be a lot of laughs along the way. Except . . . you may just find yourself feeling a bit guilty about what you are laughing at . . . (fat jokes, food jokes, jokes about people exploding into smithereens . . .)
Oh, and did I mention watching Hurley-centric episodes of Lost are a TERRIFIC excuse to get wasted?
So, here’s what I liked about the episode:
1) Ilana Goes Boom-Boom (and Bye, Bye)
Does it make me a bad person that I giggled a bit when Ilana got blown up by a randomly-placed stick of dynamite, just as she was self-righteously lecturing the Losties about following Dead Jacob’s orders? The girl may have been Jacob’s “Candidate Protector.” However, when it really came down to it, she ended up being nothing more than a glorified redshirt on this show.
Did you notice how NONE of the Losties seemed remotely upset by her demise? Talk about INSENSITIVE! I mean, I can laugh, because I don’t really know the girl. She’s just a random TV character to me, and a BORING one at that. (BTW, I’m sure the actress –who is alive and well, by the way — is a lovely person . . .) But . . . THESE GUYS? Not even kindly HURLEY shed a tear for this one. Maybe these uber self-absorbed folks are in HELL after all?
2) Rich Hurley, Poor Hurley – Same Difference
I loved that the writers didn’t go the typical route, and make Hurley a douche in flash-sideways world, just because he was lucky and financially successful there. In fact, Rich Hurley was EXACTLY THE SAME as Poor Hurley, and BOTH are awesome! I also loved how, despite all of Hurley’s great philanthropy and the accolades he received at that museum dedication ceremony made by DR. MARVIN CANDLE . . .
Good one Lost!
Hurley’s mom still only cared about the fact that he didn’t have a girlfriend. So typical! Despite his immense success, Hurley was still just as insecure and nervous around girls, as always . . . ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!
Speaking of girls . . .
3) Hurley and Libby Sitting on a BEACH, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
These two were FABULOUS together, during this episode! I loved how Libby was on a field trip away from the mental hospital, when she confronted Hurley about “knowing him in another life.” And yet, even though he didn’t remember her (at least, initially), he STILL wanted to go on a date with the loony lady! I also loved that these two literally crazy kids FINALLY got to have their “Beach Date,” complete with an assortment of cheese (“Because everyone likes cheese,” says Hurley), and a surprisingly sexy kiss. Said kiss was SO INTENSE, it brought back all of Hurley’s Lostie memories. Kudos to Desmond, for making good on the promise he made during last week’s episode, to bring about the Losties’ awareness of Island World, by promoting generalized lovey-doveyness.
Speaking of Desmond . . .
4) Desmond go down the HOLE, Locke go under the CAR . . .
How PISSED did MIB look, when Desmond told him that he wasn’t afraid of him? You just knew right then that Smokey was up to no good! And of course, there was that WELL Smokey was showing Desmond. If we’ve learned anything from our Lost writers, it’s that they will NEVER pass up the opportunity for a good Alice in Wonderland reference. Down the rabbit hole, anyone?
(Speaking of scary children’s tales remade by Tim Burton, did you catch the Willy Wonka tunnel speech, in next week’s previews?)
Still gives me the chills! No wonder Willy Wonka scared the stuffing out of me, as a kid!
So, it wasn’t particularly surprising that MIB threw Desmond down the well in Island World. What WAS surprising, however, was that Flash-Sideways Desmond appeared to REMEMBER it! So much so, that he didn’t have any qualms at all about running a wheelchair -bound Locke over with his car! (Odd that the seemingly omniscient Desmond never caught on – – as everyone else on the island seemed to, instantly upon meeting him — that Nu-Locke and Old Locke weren’t the same person . . .)
“Peggy Bundy is going to be PISSED!”
By the way, did you catch how flash-sideways Ben TOTALLY thought Desmond was a major pedophile, because he found him parked in the high school parking lot, leering inappropriately?
5) Hurley takes charge!
It is HIGH TIME these Losties took Hurley, seriously! I loved how Jack and the rest of Team Jacob (well . . . except for Miles, Ben and Richard Alpert) were willing to follow Hurley on his mission to talk to MIB, and prevent the other Losties from using the plane to leave the island. Jack didn’t even seem to mind that much that Hurley had lied about “seeing Jacob” to get the others to go along with his plan. Old Jack would have totally kicked his ass . . . It looks like our Man of Science has become a Man of Faith, after all!
“You’ve come a long way, BABY!”
6) From a Whisper to a Scream . . .
“There’s no place like the island, there’s no place like the island, there’s no . . . CRAP! I’m still here!”
So, first we thought the “whispers” in the jungle were the Others. Then, we thought it was the Smoke Monster, NOW we FINALLY know its the collective voices of dead people with “unfinished business.” Sound familiar?
No wonder they won’t leave Hurley alone! As far as Big Answers go, this one’s a bit cliche. However, it DOES dovetail nicely with the rest of the Lost mythology, at least in terms of consistency. After all, when you think about it, the WHISPERS were always heard right before a character was either about to DIE or be faced with his or her own mortality . . . All, in all, I give the “answer” a “B”
What I didn’t like:
1) That was it?!!!!
ONE ANSWER? There isn’t much time left, Lost writers! You MIGHT want to be more forthcoming with the info, in the near future!
2) Glee Robber!
OK, OK! I guess it isn’t really Lost’s fault that the first half-hour of the season premiere of Glee coincided with this episode. But the untenable TV conflict still made me mad enough to throw a slurpee at some ABC execs . . .
See ya next week, Losties!