Tag Archives: my name is trouble

No Rest for the Wicked – A Recap of Pretty Little Liars’ “My Name is Trouble”

Source

Welcome back, My Pretties!  It’s time to return to Rosewood, where all the girls look like supermodels, the boys rarely wear clothing, and “A” knows ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING!  This week, our favorite PLL girls got to show off their respective naughty sides.

But, unfortunately, not in a sexual context . . .

Having spent the majority of last season, watching the typically well-behaved (well, except for Hanna) fabulous foursome suffer as victims of A’s wrath, it was intriguing to see the tables turned, for a change.  Rather than being sinned against, in “My Name is Trouble,” all of our heroines took their shot at being the sinners. 


Source

Of course, they all did some nice things this week too.  It’s just a lot less interesting to talk about those . . . 

So, put on your devil horns, and leave your morals at the door, because it’s time to be BAD, PLL-style!

I Dream of Scream

HANNA:  “I hate getting stuck in your dreams, Spencer.  You always make us do lame things.  What kind of movie is this, anyway?  It looks older than my grandma!

SPENCER:  “It’s Jekyll and Hyde.  It’s supposed to be eerie and symbolic.”

HANNA: “Eerie and symbolic, my ass . .  . next time, take us out clubbing, or something.”

When the episode begins, our PLL girls are hanging out in the same movie theater where Emily takes all of her dates.  But rather than watching the old film they presumably came to see, the foursome are discussing Possibly Dead / Possibly a Zombie, Creepy Pedo Ian, and whether or not Facelift Jason and Spencer’s Sister Crazy Nanny Carrie Melissa are hiding him in Facelift Jason’s house.  (Fortunately, no one ever goes to this theater, aside from Emily and her girlfriends.  Otherwise, they’d probably get kicked out for talking during the film.) 

Hanna helpfully suggests that the girls strap a dog collar on Melissa that zaps her ass, whenever she leaves the yard.  And, even though I know she’s kidding, I still think it’s a spectacular idea.  Because if anyone deserves an ASS ZAPPING its Spencer’s poopyhead sister . . .

Then, suddenly, a big ole hole burns into the film that the girls were watching, and the Ghostface Killer from Scream pops out at them.

All the girls, understandably, freak out and wonder whether the theater will refund their money. over this VERY rude interruption of their conversation.  However, Aria, who recently DIED in a Scream film, is particularly disconcerted, by this recent turn of events.

Source

But don’t worry, kiddies!  It’s ALL A DREAM . . . Spencer’s dream, of course.  Sleeping Beauty herself is napping on the couch, when Sweet Sis Melissa barges in and starts groping Poor Spencer, under the guise of “looking for her wedding ring.”

I understand that you are upset, but I promise you that your ring is NOT IN MY CROTCH!”

Melissa is just about to shake Spencer upside down, to see if the ring falls out of  her bra, when her phone vibrates.  It is Mystery Caller!  He (or she) needs to talk to Melissa in private.  But just in case Spencer didn’t know this was a Super Secret Conversation with a Super Secret Person, Melissa LOUDLY tells Mystery Caller that she must take the call upstairs, so that SPENCER CAN’T HEAR.  (Way to be subtle, SIS!)

Check it out, Mystery Caller.   My Baby Sis is picking her nose.”

As Shady Melissa rushes up the stairs, Spencer watches after her, while making The Face . . .

That’s the ONE!

Meanwhile, over in Hanna-land . . .

Mama Marin Gives Good Advice (for once)

“Look at you, being all Wise and Materal.   This is another one of Spencer’s dreams, right?”

Downstairs in the Marin kitchen, Hanna awakens to find her mom and dad engaged in some SERIOUS eye f*&king.  Mama Marin laughs at something Papa le Douche says.  This is also part of the eye-f*&king, as Papa le Douche hasn’t said anything remotely humorous, since before Hanna was born . . .

*insert evil laughter here*

Papa le Douche is on this kick, where he wants to “spend time with his daughter” and “be a dad,” so he offers to drive Hanna to school.  “Ummm . . . no thanks.”  Hanna replies, feeling super awkward and uncomfortable.

Well, THAT was super awkward and uncomfortable.”

After Papa le Douche exits stage left, Hanna calls out her mom for all the eye f*&king she’s been doing.  “What an Eye Slut you are?  Please wear an Eye Condom, next time, so I don’t have to worry about getting Eye Siblings.”  She warns.  (Now, we know the REAL reason Blind Jenna always wears glasses.)

In response, Mama Marin spouts her After School Special Lesson of the Day, “Just because someone hurt us once, doesn’t mean we have to permanently delete them from our phonebook  . . . Things change . . . people grow”  Translation?  *cough Stop Being Such a B*tch to Caleb cough*

Message sent . . . and received.

Later, at school, the PLL girls meet in the bathroom “in secret” for their Daily Pow Wow. 

Source

How many takes do you think it took for them to get THAT right?

The girls discuss what they’ve been doing since their nonexistent tumultuous therapist-induced Friendship Breakup of Two Weeks ago.  Aria has enrolled in a college class to stalk Fitzy keep Fitzy away from Jackie find other animals she can hide in her hair learn how to make pottery. 

“Don’t look now, Aria.  But I think a bird died in your hair.”

This is actually a surprising choice for Aria, considering that, up to this point, she has expressed positively NO interest in ceramics, and a lot of interest in WRITING.  Given all that, wouldn’t it make sense for her to take a creative writing course, instead?

Spencer has been keeping HERSELF busy playing field hockey, fonding Abs Toby, and stalking her sister.  And Emily has been packing for the move we all know she ISN’T going to end up going through with, while NOT watching movies with temporary new girlfriend, Samara. 

Of all the girls, Hanna has taken the breakup the worst.  So bored is Hanna, that she has resorted to stealing hand lotions from the makeup counter again.  FOR SHAME! 

Source

Is it any wonder that Hanna, in her extremely vulnerable state, takes one look at Lucas in his adorable “Nerds love Apple Pie” t-shirt, and immediately wants to jump his adorkable bones re-friend him on Facebook.

“Face it, I’m the only guy on this show who actually gets attention for WEARING clothes.”

By the way, did you know that Lucas and Caleb are now living together?  This is going to save Hanna SO MUCH gas money, when she inevitably starts having sex with them both (sometimes AT THE SAME TIME).  It’s a recession economy, after all. 

Hanna asks Lucas to hang out with her.  And even though she’s broken his heart 1,000 times over, he takes pity on her shrink-sanctioned PLL-lessness, and invites her to yearbook club, after school.    While ostensibly working on the yearbook, matchmaker Hanna can’t help but notice that her future lover the same guy who used to sneak into the hospital to kiss her forehead is now ogling the chick that puts together the Appendix Section of the yearbook.  (You GO Lucas!  Way to make her jealous!)

“Don’t even TRY to fight it.  You will be mine by Episode 12.”

Hanna encourages Lucas to make a go of it with Index Chick.  However, Lucas isn’t exactly feeling up for the challenge.  “You, of all people know my batting average, Hanna,” Lucas remarks.

Oh yeah, HE WENT THERE!

“I’m so good at girl-getting, I should write a book.”

Now, Lucas has Hanna feeling BOTH subconsciously jealous that he has moved on to another honey, AND super guilty for how she treated him in the past.  (Current Score:  Lucas: 2, Hanna: 0)  So, Hanna approaches Index Chick (her name is “Danielle” by the way),  and pulls the classic Romantic Comedy Film Move, by basically pretending Lucas is this Massively Popular Ladies Man, to whom she, herself, is attracted (Well, half of that is true.), in order to spark Danielle’s interest. 

The plan works, flawlessly.  And the Nerd Who Loves Apple Pie scores a supposedly-coveted date with Index Chick, even though we all KNOW his heart has never really left Hanna’s pocket.  Later, a bewildered Lucas approaches Hanna, wondering why she went through all this trouble to try and get him laid by someone other than herself.  Echoing her mother’s earlier words, Hanna remarks that she doesn’t want to be judged the rest of her life for her biggest mistakes.  “People change,” she explains.  “They grow.”

Source

And that, my friends, was how the student became the teacher.  (It was also Lucas’ triumphant first step toward FINALLY getting inside the Marin Pantalones.)

But lest you think that Hanna has grown up SO MUCH, that she’s not fun anymore, wait until you see what she does at the end of the episode!  You see, Hanna has overheard Papa le Douche fighting with his new fiance about their upcoming nuptials.  She’s also been watching her mother flirt with her dad, like nobody’s business.  And so when Hanna finds an unread text message to her dad from the fiance, apologizing, and expressing her undying devotion to him, she . . . DELETES IT FROM HIS PHONE!

Oh, Hanna, you naughty, naughty girl!  Something tells me THAT decision is going to bite you in the ass BIG TIME, in the not-too-distant future.  Hopefully, by then you will be too busy screwing Lucas and/or Caleb to care.

Speaking of screwed . . .

Swimming with the fishes (and the forgers)

Now that “A” trashed Emily’s harddrive, she’s forced to (gasp) actually use PAPER AND PENCIL, when trying to communicate.   How utterly barbaric!

If you recall, last week, Emily tried desperately to get the Dartmouth Danbury Swim Team recruiter to give her a letter of guaranteed admission / scholarship to the college, so that she wouldn’t have to move to Texas . . . a Dreaded Red State.  The problem, of course, was that all the recruiter was willing to give Emily was a “Maybe” letter, which she knew wasn’t going to be good enough to keep her mom in Rosewood.  So, being the idiot optimistic, and forward thinker that she is, Emily decides to FORGE a more forceful recruitment letter on her own.

Later, in the school parking lot, Emily shows Aria and Hanna her handiwork . . .

“Ummm . . . Emily, I doubt that the college recruiter draws hearts over his ‘i’s” and signs his name with a happy face.”

Aria thinks the whole thing is a terrible idea, and that Emily will undoubtedly get caught.  Hanna, however, thinks Emily is an ABSOLUTE EVIL GENIUS, and is SUPER PROUD of her bestie, for being so deliciously underhanded.

Source

Umm . . . I hate to break it to you Hanna, but the only way YOU are getting into Harvard, is if your mom f*&ks the Dean, on your behalf .  . . On second thought, welcome to the Ivy Leagues, Hanna!

Back at the Fields house, Emily shares an unusually sweet heart-to-heart with her mother.  Apparently, while packing Mrs. Fields (just like the cookies!) has come across some of Emily’s childhood things, and these have caused her to become unusually nostalgic.

“Aww!  Your first diaper is in this box.  Here, smell it!”

In the most welcome Personality Transplant, since Creepy Toby first took off his shirt (and we all suddenly decided he was charming) former Evil Homophobe Mama Fields apologizes to Emily for the pain she must have endured, while having to hide her sexuality from her family.  Emily is touched by her mother’s words, and the two embrace. The exchange ultimately prompts Emily to rip up the faux Dartmouth Danby Promise Letter, and toss it in the trash can.  In hindsight, she probably should have used a shredder . . .

The next day, an excited Emily’s mom comes to her daughter’s room with a letter in her hand.  SURPRISE!  Its from Emily Danby, promising Emily admission to the college, using the EXACT same unbelievably phony words Emily had originally written in her OWN letter.  Understandably freaked out, the  minute her mom leaves the room, Emily starts frantically rummaging through her trashcan to find the original letter fragments. 

They are no where to be found. 

“Wait . .. someone TAPED the letter together, and recopied it?  This “A” sure must have A LOT of time on her hands.”

Having anticipated Emily’s dumpster dive, “A” cleverly left HER OWN little message in Emily’s trashcan, for her to find.  It looked a little something like THIS . . .

Congratulations, PLL, you’ve just cooked up the most bizarrely contrived way possible to keep Emily on the show.  The twenty or so aspiring actresses destined to be cast as her future girlfriends, thank you from the bottom of their heart.  😉

Speaking of contrived encounters . . .

Peekaboo, I see you . . . oh, wait . . . no I don’t

Forget the Opening Dream Sequence.  This is the most frightening animated GIF I have ever laid eyes on!

Over at Hollis College, Fitzy and Aria are engaged in some intense PDA, simply BECAUSE THEY CAN BE! 

This is Fitzy coming up for air, after spending an hour attached to Aria’s tongue . . .

But as we all know, on THIS show, NOBODY gets to makeout in peace.  SOMEONE always has to be watching.  This time, that someone is Fitzy’s VERY PISSY Ex Fiance / Fellow Teacher at Hollis / Facebook Friend, Jackie Molina . . .

Jackie Molina has just updated her Facebook status to: “Researching ways to murder diminutive high school students. . .” /  Jackie has accepted a friend request from “A.”

In pottery class, Aria nearly poops herself, when she finds a a grinning Blind Jenna seated at the pottery wheel, leering at her with supposedly unseeing eyes . . .

“Do you like the piece I’m sculpting?  I call it Toby’s Weiner.”

When the professor asks Aria’s name, she hesitates and says its “Anita.”  I’m guessing “Anita” wasn’t on the class roster, but the professor didn’t seem to care too much.  It’s nice to know that at the “prestigious” Hollis university, you could basically just show up at any class, offer a fake name, and take it for free.  Imagine how much money you would save on getting an education!

 

Hmmm . . . now that I think about it, I probably should have deepened my voice, and used a man’s name, like Aaron.  That would have really thrown off Blind Jenna.

Back at Fitzy’s house, he and Aria, are engaged in a little post-coital Blind Jenna talk.

Why the abundance of clothing, Fitzy?  Don’t you remember what show you are on?

Fitzy wants Aria to play nice with Blind Jenna, and become her friend, despite the fact that she’s a Creepy Brother F*&ker, who paid a guy to seduce her best friend in order to obtain information about her.  Their conversation reminded me of a similar one the pair had last year, in which Fitzy became obsessed with what a fabulous WRITER Blind Jenna was.  So, let me get this straight, Aria and Blind Jenna are BOTH writers, they both love pottery, AND they are both taking courses at Hollis?

Is Blind Jenna, like Aria’s Evil Twin, or something?

You have to admit, there’s a resemblance there . . .

The next day, at pottery class, Aria has a close call when Jenna trips, and the professor asks “Anita” to help her.  Fortunately, some dude, who’s probably dumb enough to be attracted to Blind Jenna offers to help instead.  And yet, Aria, who isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, decides to stay after class, even though SHE AND BLIND JENNA are the only ones left in there.

Not surprisingly, Blind Jenna once again asks “Anita” for help.  Except now, there’s no horny boy to take Aria’s place.  At Jenna’s request, Aria places a light inside BJ’s ceramic bowl, and puts it on a nearby turntable . . .

Who knew pottery class could be so darn emotional?  Suddenly, Jenna is getting all weepy, remembering the good old days before Aria and co. lit a firecracker in her house while she was raping Abs Toby, blinding her for life when she used to be able to see.  This, of course, makes Aria feel like crap, and probably wish she was at home fondling Fitzy’s naked stomach, instead of Blind Jenna’s ugly ass bowl . . .

Step aside Michaelangelo’s “David” . . . this is Aria’s “Fitzy”

Blind Jenna then starts randomly describing how lights reflected off the water, when she used to go swimming.  She then asks “Anita” to describe for Blind Jenna what her pottery looks like.  Aria basically repeats exactly what Blind Jenna said, “Uhhhh . . . yeah . . . it looks like you swimming . . . or something.”

Recognizing Aria’s voice, Blind Jenna angrily demands that she blow out the candle, leaving the pair alone together in the dark of an empty classroom.  Aria reluctantly complies . . .

Then THIS happens . . .

Just KIDDING!  She’s fine, guys  . . . Blind Jenna didn’t end up killing her . . . yet.

You know who’s LESS than fine though . . . Spencer.

“If you like it, than you should have put a ring on it.”

You GO, Abs Toby!  Shake that ass!

For someone who’s “just getting his GED,” Abs Toby sure shows up at the high school often.  Fortunately, for him, however, Spencer doesn’t seem to mind too much . . .

“This sure beats making out with Blind Jenna.”

Spencer wants Toby to have coffee with her in between classes.   (Really, Spencer?  You have enough time in between classes to have coffee?  What kind of high school is this?)  Unfortunately, Toby is heading off for his weekly excuse to be half naked new job doing yardwork at Facelift Jason’s house. 

Spencer NO LIKEY!  She doesn’t trust Facelift Jason ONE BIT (partly, because she can no longer recognize his face saw the movie Face Off, and it gave her nightmares).

Spencer begs Toby to get a job working for someone who ISN’T possibly a deranged killer.  He’d love to do so, except for the fact that all the people in town who AREN’T deranged killers, think that TOBY killed Facelift Jason’s sister, Alison.  And, therefore, won’t hire him.  He WAS offered a job in Yardley, however, he has no car, and plans to use the cash he gets from Facelift Jason to pay for the used junker he found in the paper.

“Be careful, Toby!  He already stole someone else’s face, hair, clothing, personality and HOME.  He might steal your ABS, if you aren’t careful.”

Later that day, Snoopy Spencer arrives at Facelift Jason’s house, directly after Field Hockey practice, to ogle her hot shirtless and sweaty boyfriend.   But, instead, she finds a not quite shirtless, but still hot and sweaty, Facelift Jason . . .

Though Facelift Jason tries to distract Spencer with his mesmerizing arms of steel, and obnoxiously perfect hair, a wily Spencer still notices someone moving behind the curtains in Facelift Jason’s home, even though he SWEARS no one else is living there but him.  Who IS this mystery person?  Is it Possibly Dead / Possibly a Zombie Creepy Pedo Ian?

Is it Melissa?

Is it Maya, escaped from the PLL Lost Love Interest Vortex?

Perhaps, it could even be Jason 1.0 . . .

Spencer is confused, and freaked out by this development.  And you know what THAT means.  That’s right, my Pretties.  IT’S TIME FOR ANOTHER ALI FLASHBACK!

Source

Spencer and Emily are having a sleepover at Spencer’s house, and complaining about how loud Stoner Jason and his pothead friends are partying next door, when a tearful Ali crashes their party.  She HATES Jason, and can’t wait to rat him out to his grandparents, so they cut him out of their will.  At first, Ali seems her usual, confident, bitchy self, but when she approaches the sink, we can see that she’s been crying.  SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED AT THAT PARTY .  . . POSSIBLY VERY BAD . . . and Jason may have had something to do with it.  Ali, eventually shrugs off her rare show of vulnerability, commenting on the poor quality of Spencer’s apples (huh?) 

However, Spencer knows something is UP, as is evidenced by the return of Spencer Face . . .

Now, TOTALLY freaked out, an unusually needy an paranoid Spencer begs her AWFUL sister to stay with her, and protect her from the things that go bump in the night, like she used to back when they were kids.

Source

Poor Spencer, she’s still naive enough to believe her sister is still a human being, and not the Evil Alien from Planet B*tch, she obviously become.  Melissa icily deflects Spencer’s rare attempt at sisterly bonding, threatening her sister NOT to make her choose between her own flesh and blood and the creepy, probably dead, pedophile she married.  The obvious, implication of her words being that she would choose the Pedo, ANYDAY (and twice on Sunday).

So, of course, this is the perfect time for Spencer to find Melissa’s missing wedding ring, which, as it turns out, has been conveniently hiding behind the toaster this whole time!

That’s OK Fitz . . .  I thought it was pretty hilarious too!

Positively INCAPABLE of leaving well enough alone, Stalker Spencer heads to Facelift Jason’s house after school AGAIN.  This time, she is rewarded for her dilligence, and actually DOES find Shirtless and Sweaty Abs Toby there.

OH HELL YES!

Facelift Jason’s there too, and he conveniently mistakes Spencer for Melissa.  When asked about why, he tells her that she’s been sucking his weiner  helping him bury Creepy Pedo Ian’s body  performing pagan rituals involving human sacrifices “bringing him misdelivered mail.”  As if all this wasn’t suspcious enough, Facelift Jason “accidentally” allows one of his garbage bags to open on the floor in front of Spencer and Abs Toby. 

Hot Damn!  That’s a lot of BLOOD and CHINESE FOOD for one person.  “I cut myself when I was ripping off my old face, and putting on this new one,” mumbles Facelift Jason  (Note to Facelift Jason:  Learn how to lie better.)

Now, comes the part in the story when Spencer does the most AWFUL thing we have seen her do, since the beginning of the series.  SHE PAWNS HER OWN SISTER’S WEDDING RING TO GET MONEY TO BUY TOBY HIS CAR!

Now, granted, I don’t like Melissa either.  She’s a GENUINELY AWFUL PERSON.  Plus, I’m pretty sure she has something to do with “A” and/or Ali’s death.  But this is just WRONG with a capital “WRON.”  Now, of course, Spencer planned to somehow buy back the ring, shortly after giving Toby his new/old car for the Yardley job.  But still . . . it seems an unusually cold move for Spencer to make, not to mention STUPID.

I don’t want to be around when Melissa finds out.

So, of course, we all know it’s going to come back to bite her in the butt, don’t we?  Not surprisingly, the last scene of the episode features the infamous GLOVED HAND buying back the ring from the pawn shop. 

No glove, NO LOVE, Spencer!  I hope you’ve invested in some good life insurance . . .

Oh . . . and I almost forgot to mention the best part . . . MY WREN’ is FINALLY BACK!

On one of their weekly Stakeouts in the Bushes, our PLL girls found My Future Husband, clad in sexy scrubs, meeting Melissa, late at night, and delivering to her VERY LARGE quantities of drugs (For whom?  Ian?  Melissa herself?  Facelift Jason?)

My sentiments exactly, Spencer!  That’s one fine piece of meat!

And, on that note, I bring my recap to an end.  But feel free to check out THIS promo for next week’s PLL installment, which promises, among other things, MORE Wren (Yesssssssss!  YIPPEE!), a COMPLETELY shirtless Facelift Jason (Oh, he’ll get along in Rosewood just fine), and the return of  .  . . Dead Alison?

That’s right, my Pretties!  Things are getting GOOD!  See you next week!

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

15 Comments

Filed under Pretty Little Liars

The Body Snatchers – A Recap of Pretty Little Liars’ “The Goodbye Look”

EMILY:  “Wow!  You know, for cafeteria food, this stuff doesn’t actually look half bad.”

HANNA: “True, but don’t forget what show this is.  With our luck, ‘A’ probably miraculously poisoned all those fruit plates before we arrived, without anyone seeing her or him do it.”

SPENCER: “Yeah, and as soon as one of us eats one, and falls down dead dead, she’ll text the rest of us with something SUPER cheesy, like ‘Beware of lunch ladies bearing poison apple slices – A.”’

ARIA: [Falls to the floor, unconscious.]

HANNA: “See what I mean?”

SPENCER, HANNA and EMILY: [Sigh and wait for their cell phones to ring.]

Welcome back, my Pretties!  This week’s Pretty Little installment was all about that oh-so-frightening prospect we all must face, at some point in our lives . . .  The Future. 

Therefore, it was fitting that, during the course of the episiode, each character made a choice that would undoubtedly affect their own future on the show.  Admittedly, “The Goodbye Look” wasn’t exactly what you would consider an “action-packed” PLL episode.  For starters, unlike last week’s groundbreaking Fitzy’s Bod Extravaganza, it contained NO shirtlessness, whatsoever.

While we are on the subject of what wasn’t in the episode, there was also no adorable Lucas, mysterious Caleb, or British studmuffin, Wren . . .

He’s coming back NEXT week, though!  *does dance of joy!*

But hey!  That doesn’t mean the episode was a TOTAL loss.  After all, it did introduce to me a mystery that I will undoubtedly ponder between now and the end of time.  Namely, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO JASON DILAURENTIS’ FACE?

“The world may never know!”

Let’s get on with the recap, shall we?

(Once again, the Awesome Screenshots from this Recap were provided by THIS KICKASS WEBSITE.  Thanks guys!)

Zombies Don’t Text (But, apparently, they can take out the trash just fine!).

This week’s PLL installment continued last week’s tradition of starting precisely where the previous episode left off.  The girls have just learned that Spencer’s sister, Melissa, may or may not be in cell phone contact with Creepy Pedo Zombie Ian, and they are PRETTY F*&KING FREAKED OUT ABOUT IT . . .

Can you blame them?

Hanna tries to analyze the situation from a “rational” perspective, something that doesn’t often go over particularly well on this show.  “Zombies DON’T text,” she explains.

Source

Another PLL’er (though I can’t recall who) suggests going to the cops with this new information.  “Yes, because that has gone so well for us, so far,” snarks Spencer.  And SHE would know.  She’s had the worst luck with policemen of ALL the PLL girls.  Then again, NO ONE has had as bad luck for the cops as her boyfriend,  Abs Toby.

“Hmm . . .  I wonder if my body would look this good if it was stuffed in an orange prison jumpsuit.”

Ultimately, the girls decide to stay away from the cops.  Rather, Spencer will use her super sleuthing skills, and Trademark Investigation Face . . .

 . . . to ascertain precisely how much Melissa REALLY knows about Ian’s whereabouts and mortality situation.

The girls’ discussion is quickly interrupted, when they start hearing strange noises coming from the roof of the greenhouse.

Well, OF COURSE, ‘A’ is hanging out on the ceiling watching them.  I mean, why not?  What else could she possibly be doing in the middle of the night?  Note to A:  There are WAY better ways to cure insomnia than stalking teenage girls.  Might I suggest Tent Sex, for example . . .

 . . . or dancing . . .

Our PLL’s quickly bolt from the scene.  On the way home, they find Facelift Jason skulking around Maya’s house, which, of course, used to be HIS and Ali’s house, back when the two were growing up.  As we learned last week from Blind Jenna and Police Boy Garrett, Ali’s older brother has somehow managed to convince Maya’s family to let him stay at the house, while Maya, herself, is away at De-Gaying Camp.  And what’s his first order of business in the home, you ask?  Well, to toss out all Dead Ali’s CRAP, of course!

“Thanks for the Box of Clues, Facelift Jason!  Now, I finally know who ‘A” is!”

Now, I know that the PLL girls, and, I suspect, some viewers, found Jason’s action of haphazardly tossing his sister’s things out with the morning trash insensitive and suspicious.  And yet, I find it more maudlin that Maya’s family would choose to hang on to that stuff, in the first place.  I mean, it’s bad enough to move into a home not too far away from where its previous inhabitant suffered a violent end.  But to KEEP the Dead Girl’s stuff, because you “can’t bear to throw it away?”  That’s just bizarre.

 Parents Just Don’t Understand

Hanna seems to be gaining a bit of ground with her Mom, regarding the whole “My therapist said I can’t have friends” thing.  After all, as Hanna says, if Mom doesn’t believe in therapy, why should SHE?  Where Hanna is making less progress is on the issue of her “darling Dad,” who seems to only make reappearances in her life, when she is in trouble with the law . . . like now.  Other than that, Dad’s idea of showing fatherly concern seems to consists of sending Hanna and her mom plants . . . that DIE.  But Mom’s a bit lonely now that Deputy Douchey has left town.  Remember him . . .

. . . so she’s willing to overlook Hanna’s remarried dad’s flaws, provided there exists an opportunity that papa might wind his way back into Mama Marin’s pink pantalones. 

Poor Hanna!  She’d have more luck being parented by a PLANT, than she would by these two.

Over at the Fields’ household, Emily’s homophobic mom thinks the therapist’s idea of separating Emily from all her friends is a FABULOUS one.  (Why?   Does she think this will somehow make her straight?)  She decides that Emily should leave her cell phone on the kitchen table, and make all her phone calls THERE, where Mom can overhear every word. 

Speaking of “great news” (she said, sarcastically), Emily’s mom also informs Emily that their house has been rented.  It’s moving time!

Emily storms upstairs and learns that, SURPRISE, her entire laptop has been erased, because she was an A$$HAT, and left it on in her room, for all potential “renters” of her home, and “A” to see.  Remember THIS little scene from last week, during which Gloved Hand person worked his evil magic on Emily’s deepest darkest snuff born videos, and Ian-related secrets?

Ahhh memories!

Emily calls Spencer to fill her in on the bad news.  Spencer would probably very much like to tell Emily that she is dumber than dog sh*t.  However, since Spencer made a SIMILAR mistake with HER laptop last season, she acts sympathetic.  Besides, Spencer has her own problems. 

Melissa has just arrived home from her sonogram appointment, and plans to spend the next few days on the couch doing nothing, which, if you think about it, has more or less been what she’s done since about the fourth episode on this show.  The problem now is that Spencer wants to snoop through Melisssa’s stuff to figure out whether she knows more about Ian’s whereabouts than she lets on.  And if Melissa’s lazy ass is on the couch all day, sniffing through her personal belogings will be VERY difficult!

“Damn you, Lazy Pregnant Lady!  Damn YOU!”

Aria Gets a New Nickname.  Fitzy Stays in the Dog House . . . for now

Back at school, Fitzy makes a lame excuse to pull Aria into his classroom alone AGAIN.  It’s a good thing Fitzy is leaving Rosewood Prep  Because he is getting SO MUCH worse worse at keeping his private Sex with a Student Business a secret.  Then again, maybe he’s just the kind of teacher who LOVES to give extra credit assignments to his most promising students. 😉

And Aria is simply more “promising’ than all the rest.

Fitzy takes this “extra credit” opportunity to not-so-subtly remind Aria that Friday is his last day as her teacher.  In other words, Aria, the Fitzy Love Train is leaving the station!  Better get aboard, or its going to pass you by, directly en route to Jackie Town!

Aria understands the insinuation her (ex?) is making, and doesn’t appreciate it.  “Thanks for the warning,” she says in a voice tinged with sarcasm, and a smidgeon of hidden longing.

“Why do I feel like you are picking apart everything I say with a pair of tweezers?”  Fitzy inquires, hurt.

Fitzy and Aria are suddenly starting to sound a heck of a lot like an old married couple.  The question is:  is that a good sign or a bad one.  Aria wants to know where the couple stands in their relationship.  And though Fitzy feels he has already made his love for Aria clear, he is willing to meet with her the following evening to have “The Talk.” 

My advice to Fitzy:  Already trying to figure out what to wear to ensure this “Talk” with Aria will go as well as humanly possible?  Here’s a hint:  Leave the sweater vest in the drawer!

Just sayin’!

Outside the classroom Annoying Mona traps Aria, in a rather grating conversation, as the recent absense of Hanna in her life, has apparently left her with no one to worship.  (Where’s Bushy Eyebrow Noel, when you need him, right?)  Though on the surface, this conversation seemed fairly meaningless and mundane, those in the “Mona is A” camp undoubtedly found a lot to chew on in this particular exchange.

“Hey, Big A!” Mona calls after Aria, ignoring the MASSIVE eyeroll Aria gives her, when she reaches her side.

Huh?  Big A?  Who’s Little A?  I mean, usually calling someone Big A, implies a smaller or younger A, in existence, right?  And who out there is smaller than Aria?  That girl is TEENY!  Not to mention . . . um . . . Mona?  I hate to break it to you, but there is NO girl in the world who enjoys being called “Big.”  Shallow Attempt at Friendship? FAIL!

As it turns out, Mona’s reason for accosting Aria is two-fold.  First, she would like Aria to help pick out a Going Away Gift for Fitzy, since the the two of them are so . . . close . . .

Of course, Mona is referring to the fact that they have had a lot of hot monkey sex together the two of them worked together on the school play!  Right?  Maybe . . . then again . . . maybe not.  After all, A is certainly familiar with Ezria’s sexploits, and if Mona is A, then . . .

The second favor that Mona asks of Aria is that she put in a good word for Mona with her now-on-the-outs former bestie, Hanna.  Last week, if you recall, Hanna gave Mona the big ole boot, when she found out that the latter had made Caleb’s love letter to Hanna DISAPPEAR in the Lamest Magic Trick Ever.

RIIIIPPPP!

 When Aria remarks that SHE hasn’t been talking to Hanna either, as a result of the whole “Our Shrink Doesn’t Think We Should Hang Out Anymore, Because Everyone Assumes We Lied About Finding Ian’s Dead Body” thing, Mona acts like she DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THAT AT ALL!

Whatchu talkin’ about, Mona?”

At this point in the show, my Bullsh*t Meter is on high alert.  I don’t believe, for a second, that the Biggest Gossip in the School had NO CLUE that her so-called best friend was involved in a scandal / possible criminal activity coverup of EPIC proportions.

Nevertheless, Mona puts on her best, “I’m sorry the Shrink took all your friends away” face, and bids Aria adieu.

“A Strikes Again”

On the lunch line, the girls (who are not supposed to be hanging out with one another, even though it should be SO OBVIOUS to anyone watching them that they still are) are whispering about the whole Ian Situation and wanting “closure.”  Correction . . . everyone wants closure except Hanna, who HATES closure, with the passion of a girl, who gave up her virginity to a boy, who was paid to seduce her and extract information from her, and then found out that he had fallen in love with her, somewhere along the way.

As if by instinct, all four of our heroines immediately head to the same lunch table . . . that is, until it hits them that they should probably NOT BE SEEN TOGETHER IN PUBLIC. 

Oops!

It is unbelievably sad, seeing these four supposedly super popular individuals each sitting at a table ALL BY THEMSELVES.  (Couldn’t Emily have sat with any of her swim team friends?  She is CAPTAIN, after all.)  I also had to wonder how SMALL this school is, that there were enough empty tables for EACH of these girls (and Mona) to do this.

Speaking of Mona, I know it makes me a terrible person, but I had to laugh a little bit at her expense, when she motioned for Hanna to come sit next to HER, and was DENIED. 

Source

Queen B Hanna would, apparently, rather sit BY HERSELF, than with the likes of the Future Miss Bushy Eyebrows.

So, of course, the minute the girls are all seated by their lonesome, A sends one of her trademark text messages to all four of them at the same time.  It says:  “Look at you.  All alone in a crowd.  I win!”

Source

Oh, COME ON, A!  You couldn’t think of anything more creative than the texting equivalent of sticking your tongue out and blowing a raspberry?  Clearly, you are losing your touch.

Toby Gets a Job . . . Then Loses It

Speaking of loners, after a VERY long absence, Abs Toby is back at Rosewood Prep, filling out papers. Spencer sees her beau, and is, of course, thrilled, rushing to give him a celebratory hug.  She thinks he is returning to school (and that she won’t have to suffer the humiliation of eating lunch alone again)

But alas, Spencer is wrong , (which is becoming an increasingly common occurrence).  Toby is simply collecting the papers necessary to complete his home schooling so that he can earn his GED and leave Rosewood . . . possibly, for good.

Spencer, NO LIKEY!

Toby and Spencer both flirt with the idea of Toby sticking around Rosewood to be with Spencer.  There are a lot of knowing smiles and eye f*&king, but nothing is really established.  Oh, and remember last week, when Toby suddenly became all Mr. Fix It, with Emily’s wall height chart? 

It turns out that was actually PART OF THE PLOT!  (Who knew?)  This week, we find out that our little enterprising Abs Toby has gone and scored himself a construction job in town.  Someone is REALLY itching to get some cash, and get away from Blind Jenna, isn’t he?  And honestly, can you blame him?

You know, if there was ever a contest for Luckiest Dude in Rosewood, Toby would probably come in dead last.  So, of course, it is no surprise, that the very same day Toby begins his career as a construction worker, the client who’s house he is “constructing” gets the poor kid fired, because he didn’t want Abs Toby near his daughter . . . him still being a Murder Suspect, and all.

Poor Toby!  Sometimes the Adult World is just as bad as high school.  At least he has Spencer to lean on, when times get rough, which, let’s face it, is basically ALL THE TIME, on this show 

In a really sweet scene, later on in the episode, the uber cute couple meet up in a forest, of all places,  and talk about how genuinely sh*tty the town they live in and the people who live in it with them are.  Spencer, who’s wearing a business suit, for no apparent reason WHATSOEVER, even goes as far as to offer to tell the cops what she knows about Ian, so that Toby can FINALLY be completely exonerated for any wrongdoing.  Toby then reminds Spencer that the cops in Rosewood are pretty much useless, and don’t believe a darn thing EITHER Toby or Spencer say.  So, what’s the point? 

They put their heads together and cuddle with one another under the stars.  And suddenly the Unluckiest Boy in Rosewood isn’t feeling so unlucky anymore.

Just Keep Swimming . . . Just Keep Swimming

Over at the pool, Emily is busy (SURPRISE) winning a swim meet again.  How convenient, right? 

Glug, Glug . . .

By the way, anybody seen Paige and her Sad Little Orphan Bitchy haircut? 

I know her and Emily sort of/ kind of broke up, but,  does that mean she automaticallly gets tossed into the PLL Vortex of Lost Former Significant Others?  Just curious . . .

Anywhoo . . . Emily is walking with Samara (Remember her, from the Carnival, and that blind date sort of meeting she was supposed to have with Paige, before Paige bailed?), who is NOT Emily’s girlfriend yet, but, I guess is close enough to her to attend her swim meets.  Samara asks Emily out to a movie, and Awkard Emily treats the poor girl like she PROPOSED MARRIAGE.  “But I’m moving . . . and I just got out of  a relationship. . . and I don’t want to start anything serious . . .blah, blah, blah” she yammers on. 

To her credit, Samara handles Emily’s weirdness pretty well, reminding Emily that going to a movie theater is not the same thing as picking out China patterns. 

“Oh, get over yourself, girlfriend!  Have you seen what I look like?  I can get WAY sluttier girls than you to go out with me.”

So, Emily agrees to keep things “casual” with Samara.  But not so fast!  As we all know by now, NO relationship on PLL can truly be a “casual relationship.”  Every first date must seem like Love Everlasting at least, for two episodes, or until the next love interest comes along, whichever is sooner.

 Worry not, Semily Fans!  The PLL writers have a solution for this conundrum which, also, could coincidentally end up allowing Emily to stick around for Season 3 of the show.  Some recruiter from Dartmouth Darby starts talking to her about swimming scholarships, conveniently noting that, if she moves out of Rosewood before the year is up, she probably will miss her chances of getting one. 

Emily is thrilled.  Now, she finally has ammunition to take to her mother that could genuinely prevent her from having to move to a dreaded “Red State,” if you catch my drift.

At the movies, Samara and Emily talk about the “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” (real ones, not the ones from that LAME Matthew McConaughey Movie). 

Emily recalls that her first date with her FIRST girlfriend Maya, was also a Movie Date.  (Good job, Emily!  Because THAT’S what all new significant others like to hear on a first date Tales of the Ex.  Man, Emily really does SUCK at this whole dating thing, doesn’t she?)  Paige, of course, is not mentioned at all. 

EMILY:  “Umm . . . Samara.  Have you noticed that no one else is in this movie theater aside from us?”

SAMARA:  “Oh, did I forget to mention that I was taking you to see porn?  Sorry about that.”

In and of itself, the scene is pretty useless.  Samara and Emily don’t even hold hands or touch, let alone kiss.  I suspect the only reason for the existence of the scene, was to show that Emily was BACK IN THE DATING world, and to foreshadow Maya’s inevitalble return in a later episode. 

*insert evil laugh here*

Don’t get me wrong, I like Samara.  She’s fun and drama free, which is exactly what Emily needs in a girlfriend right now.  But seriously?  This storyline? Zzzzzzzzz.

Back at home, Emily’s mom is surprisingly open to the idea of Emily staying in Rosewood and finishing out her high school career there, if it means her getting a swimming scholarship to Dartmouth Danby.  She just wants a letter from the recruiter GUARANTEEING  the scholarship, before she brings the idea to Emily’s father.  Ummm, Emily’s Mom?  That’s actually not how college recruitment works . . . AT ALL!

Maternal Advice FAIL

Now, don’t forget that Emily was the Dumb Bunny who left her EVIDENCE OF CRIMINAL ACTIVITY filled computer open and on in her bedroom, while her house was being shown for rental, so ANY NUMBER OF STRANGERS HAD EASY ACCESS TO ALL HER FILES. 

Is she pretty?  Absolutely.  Is she a spectacular athlete?  It would seem so.  Is she smart?  Not so much. 

So, of course, Emily assumes that her New Recruiter Friend will have absolutely NO TROUBLE giving her a PROMISE OF SCHOLARSHIP letter.  As you would expect, New Recruiter Friend pretty much LAUGHS IN HER FACE.  And yet, he does promise to give her a “We are definitely, maybe, considering, giving you a scholarship to our school . . . I think” letter. Emily looks crestfallen. 

That being said, since we all know she’s SOMEHOW going to manage to stay in Rosewood, assuming PLL gets picked up for another season, it’s hard, as a viewer, to really be worried for her.

Also during this scene, we learn that, in addition to erasing the harddrive of Emily’s laptop, SOMEONE stole camping gear from her garage.  Apparently, similar random break-ins have been occuring throughout Rosewood.  This handy-dandy piece of information may seem useless now, but it will come in handy later.

Hanna’s Dad Comes Back to Town (Nobody really cares.)

“I was so bored of my own story line, this week that I left in the middle of the episode to go watch The Voice.”

Of all the PLL girls, Hanna probably got the shortest end of the stick this week, in terms of plot advancing storylines.  (And that’s saying a lot, if you consider how LAME Emily’s storyline ended up being.  See above.)  When you think about it, all that really happened to Hanna this week was that her dad came back to town.  In the kitchen, the father/ daughter duo had their own little private therapy session about how Daddy-o only seemed to come around when Hanna was in trouble, and how he pretty much ABANDONED his own daughter for his better-behaved step-family. 

After Hanna stomps upstairs, Mama Marin and Papa Marin have a “reunion” of sorts, in which Daddy Dearest agrees to move back home for a while, until all this “Hanna as Murder Suspect Sh*t” blows over.  I can’t imagine things are going too well with Mr. Marin’s OTHER family, if he is so willing to up and leave them like this.  Then Hanna’s parents decide to do what any “rational” parents would do in this situation, they break out the booze.

I am SO getting you drunk, so I can get laid tonight.”

“You SURE ARE!”

You know, I don’t think it sends such a good message to teens that Aria’s and Hanna’s “Trouble with the Law” ended up being what brought BOTH of their parents back together.  It teaches kids that if their parents are having marital troubles, all they have to do is “act out” or misbehave in some way, and they will get back together.  Just sayin’

Oh, and I almost forgot, toward the end of the episode, Hanna randomly decides to forgive Mona for the Caleb Thing.  Mona claims excited, because “nobody has ever forgiven [her] before.”  (Umm . . . really, Mona?  Because I seem to remember HANNA forgiving you, last season, for starting a rumor that she had lipsuction, and for disinviting her to your Big Ass Birthday Party.  How quickly we forget?)

Hanna and Mona further cement their truce, by promising not to talk about their current love interests Caleb and Bushy Eyebrows Noel with one another.  That’s good, because I REALLY don’t want to learn anymore about Mona and Bushy Eyebrows making out.  I had to rinse my eyes out with alcohol from the last time that image was seared into my brain . . .

Parking Lot Sex . . . Well, that’s one way to Go Public with your “Secret Relationship”

So, remember how Fitzy promised to meet Aria at his apartment to talk about the “status” of their relationship.  Well, as it turns out, Fitzy got caught up in a little orientation meeting with college faculty, and his soon-to-be boss, and was late to the date  .  . . HOURS late.  (Apologetic Boyfriend FAIL!)  At first, Aria doesn’t seem to mind too much, as we know from earlier episodes how much she LOVES snooping around Fitzy’s apartment, while he’s not home. 

“So, it’s already been a few days, and Fitzy still hasn’t realized ‘A’ stole his diploma.  Do you think he’d notice if I took some of his underwear home for ‘safe keeping?’

First, she returns to Fitzy the diploma that “A” stole from his apartment to freak out the girls, then she starts reminiscing about their relationship, by looking through all sorts of little mementos Fitzy saved along the way, like, for example, the paper bags they wore over their heads, to note the secret status of their relationship. 

I can’t decide whether this is really romantic, or really creepy . . . I’m leaning toward creepy.

As Aria tends to do, while snooping around Fitzy’s alone, she calls Spencer to ask for advice about how long she should wait at the apartment, before she starts looking like a Total Desperate Hobag.  “You are the master of time,” Aria says to Spencer, kissing her ass, as hard as she can.

This true, technically,  when it comes to macking with the boys, Spencer is an EXPERT with time.  It’s the timing of everything ELSE in her life that seems to suck so royally.  Anywho, Spencer ditches Aria to go hang out with Toby.  So, after hours, of waiting for Fitzy to show up, Aria finally decides to leave. 

Cleverly (or callously, depending on how you view it), Aria leaves her Dear John note for Fitzy, in his old-fashioned type writer.  (Maybe she was hoping he wouldn’t find it?  I mean, really, just because he OWNS a typewriter, doesn’t mean he uses it.  Fitzy may be OLDER, but he’s not OLD!  He knows how to use a computer, for crying out loud!)

Nevertheless, the typewriter is where Aria ends up placing her letter, which goes a little something like this:  “I’m sorry we couldn’t work things out with our relationship. -Aria”  (OUCH!)

If any of you out there were MAD at Aria for the particular way in which she decided to dump Fitzy (Hey, at least she didn’t do it by text message or Post-It Note), worry not, karma got to her BIG TIME, when she wandered into Spencer’s house, after being stood up on her “talking date.”  Upon entering Spencer’s house, Aria steps on broken glass, immediately signifying to her that SOMEONE has broken in.  (No wonder Spencer carries that knife around everywhere.  That house sees more action than Paris Hilton!)  However, before Aria can react to this new information, she is tackled to the ground by an unseen home invader, as he dashes from the home.

Source

When Spencer comes home, her and Aria discuss the possibility that “A” has been sneaking into homes in the area, and collecting things . . . that “A” may be Ian . . . and that he may be out to get Spencer.

The next day at school, is Fitzy’s last day, he seems SUPER sad to be leaving “his students,” and by “his students” I basically mean, only Aria. 

“I don’t even know who half of you people are . . . I spent the entire year staring at Aria’s rack.”

“No wonder I got an ‘A-cup’ in English this semester.”

In fact, Fitzy’s entire goodbye speech seems to be solely directed toward her.  (I guess he uses that typewriter, after all!)  In typical Geeky, but Endearing, Fitzy fashion, he uses a quote to embody his feelings for Aria the class.  “Joseph Campbell once said, ‘You must give up the life you planned, in order to have the life that is waiting for you.’  I didn’t understand what that meant, until I met you.”

(Well, you better explain it to ME, Fitzy!  Because it doesn’t sound all that inspiring from where I’m standing.)

Nevertheless, Fitzy’s speech must have had an impact on Aria, because, after HOURS of sitting by herself on school grounds (weren’t her parents looking for her), she rushes into Fitzy’s classroom, looking for him, only to find that he has already left.

Source

But fear not, Ezria fans!  Because when Aria runs out to the parking lot, she finds Fitzy packing the last of his personal belongings into his car, and, in perfect Romantic Comedy Fashion, rushes into his arms for one of those LOOOOONG KISSES, that they use the 360 degree camera to film.

Source

It was heart-warming, triumphant, and super sweet . . . but it also made me really dizzy.  Just sayin’.

 Jason 2.0 apparently has both Multiple Personality, and Multiple Face Disorder

As I mentioned earlier, Super Sleuth Spencer has taken it upon herself, to find out exactly what happened to Ian.  First, she tries getting information from her sister Mopey Melissa, but girlfriend is not cracking.  So, she gets some store bought cookies, puts them in a plate to make them look baked, and carries them over to Maya’s house, where Jason is currently staying.

Though they showed Jason a bit, in the first scene, where he was throwing out all of Alison’s stuff, Spencer’s second meeting with Jason marked the first time I REALIZED that he was a different person.  And BOY was I confused! 

Luckily, I had my laptop in front of me, and was able to locate the article I linked above for you, which explained the Great Jason DiLaurentis Body Snatch.  Apparently, the old Jason was recast for someone a bit younger looking, as this was more consistent with the “direction” in which the writers wanted the character to go, in the show’s second season.

Considering that they chose a younger-looking actor, and considering that, EVERY MALE on this show ends up somehow involved with one of the PLL’s, I suspect that the main reason for this little switcheroo was to set up a future romance between Jason, and one of our girls (Using process of elimination, I would suspect it would be Aria Hanna, since both Spencer and Hanna already have love triangles with which to grapple, and Aria is currently a one-man lady.) 

And yet, while the actor who plays Nu-Jason is definitely cute, I can’t help but feel like the way his character is being introduced, is too similar to the way the writers introduced Toby in Season One, i.e.  The Sort of Creepy, Potential Suspect, Guy, who ends up being Sweet and Misunderstood.

I hope I’m wrong.  Because, as far as I’m concerned, there can only be one Toby.

Word!”

But I am getting ahead of myself here.  So, Spencer arrives at the house, and a grouchy Jason, makes me sort of hate him, by throwing rocks at a poor defenseless little dog, to get him out of the back yard.  He’s pretty defensive and rude to Spencer, and yet somehow gets her talking about what happened at the church.  At least initially, Jason seems to believe Spencer’s story about what Ian did, and what might have happened to him. 

You’ve really gotta hand it to Jason 2.0.   He’s smart.  Here was Super Sleuth Spencer coming to his home for information, and SHE ended up giving all the information she had to HIM, while he pretty much revealed nothing.  Talk about a Wanna Be Veronica Mars, FAIL, Spencer!

This scene is followed by a completely random, and not all that useful, flashback, in which Ali taunts her older brother Jason 2.0, by hiding his crap from him.  She makes some very Ali-like comment about how, when she hides things, they stay hidden.  I suspect it was supposed to be a “mysterious” scene.  And yet, I was so distracted by the appearance of Jason 2.0, I found myself unable to really concentrate on it all that much, to be honest.

(Didn’t they say last season that he used to be a goth, back when Ali was alive?  He looks more like the Captain of the Soccer Team here.)

Spencer’s sleuthing abilities are redeemed somewhat, when she comes home to her lazy ass sister, sitting right on the couch, where she seems to have been for two days straight. 

“I’m on to you Crazy Nanny Carrie from One Tree Hill . . . er . . . I mean, Melissa.”

Though Melissa claims to have been there the whole time, Spencer notices that Melissa’s raincoat and boots are wet, and in her pocket is the sonogram picture that she showed Spencer earlier.  Also, though Melissa clearly left the house that day, her car seems not to have moved.  Now, Spencer is wondering whether Melissa has been “entertaining” someone in the barn where Ali was pretty much last seen alive . . . possibly Ian.

But this section isn’t about Melissa or Ian, right?   It’s about Jason. 

Toward the end of the episode, the girls find him outside building a fence, either to keep intruders out, or to keep someone IN. 

He’s building in the middle of the night, in a rainstorm, and seems to have a TON of camping gear around him, similar to the camping gear that was stolen from Emily’s house. 

That cute little dog is there again, and it seems to be sniffing inside one of the sleeping bags, on the ground near Jason.  Something long and tall, is in that bag . . . something that could be but probably isn’t a dead body.

In the final scene of the episode, we see the Infamous Gloved Hand fondling the cute dog’s head.  For a second, we worry that Evil Gloved Hand Person might do something TRULY AWFUL, like break the dog’s neck. 

But, instead, it just lovingly pets the dog, who seems to recognize Gloved Hand instantly.  If this is, in fact, the DiLaurentis Family dog than Gloved Hand person, must be someone who is familiar with the family . . . like, for example, Ian . . .or one of Ali’s parents . . . maybe even Ali, herself.

And there you have it:  “The Goodbye Look” in a nutshell.  Be sure to tune in next week, when, if my sources are correct, MY HONEY BUNNY Doctor Wren / Julian Morris returns to Rosewood!  SQUEE!  (It’s about DAMN time!)

You can check out the SUPER INTENSE Much Music promo for the third episode, entitled “My Name is Trouble” here:

See you next week, My Pretties!

[www.juliekushner.com] [Fangirls Forever]

17 Comments

Filed under Pretty Little Liars