Oscars 2012 – Who SHOULD Co-Host? (Five Suggestions)

(It occurred to me, while I was doing research for this post — which, mind you, I had been planning to write since LAST NIGHT — that everybody and their mother already beat me to this idea.  There go my delusions of “originality!  But, am I going to let that stop me from reinventing the wheel?  HECK NO!)

Unless you’ve been living under a rock this past week, you are probably already aware of the following: (1) the 83rd Annual Academy Awards aired this past Sunday; (2) Anne Hathaway and James Franco co-hosted the show; (3) for their efforts, they received HORRIBLE  humiliatingly bad  resoundingly negative  not very good mixed reviews.

ANNE:  “Lay off, OK?!  It wasn’t my fault!  James was stoned off his ass, and sleeping backstage, the ENTIRE TIME!  You think I kept saying ‘WOOOOOHOOO!’ for every presenter, because I’m just some a dorky fangirl, who can’t keep her sh*t together?  NO!  I was trying to WAKE THAT MOTHERF&*KER UP!”

JAMES: “Yo, Anne could you quiet down!  I can’t concentrate on my tweeting, with you yelling like that . . .That and I’m SERIOUSLY hungover!”

While the execution may have been flawed, I still believe that the Academy’s idea of choosing two fresh, yet familiar, faces to host the year’s most prestigious award show this year, was an inspired one.  For this reason, I have tasked myself with coming up with five celebrity pairings, each of whom, I believe, would be well-suited for the admittedly formidable challenge of Oscar Hosting.  So, without further adieu, here are my selections (in no particular order):

(1) Sandra Bullock and Robert Downey Jr.

Americans love a good survival story.  And there are no two bigger survivors in Hollywood than Sandra Bullock and Robert Downey Jr.  She endured a painful divorce from a TOTAL wanker (who cheated on her with some tatted-up Nazi skank uggo) won an Oscar, and adopted a baby boy, all in the SAME YEAR!  He battled drug and alcohol addiction throughout the first thirty or so years of his life.  He then spent four years rotating in and out of jail on drug charges, only to become clean in 2001.  Since then, Robert Downey Jr.’s career experienced a remarkable resurgence – one which made available to him a treasure trove of roles any actor would sell their soul for.

But none of this would matter, if Sandra and Robert weren’t the kind of people we could stand to watch on television for three hours straight, without getting nauseous.  Fortunately, both celebrities possess inherent charm, poise, intelligence, dry wit, and my personal favorite, matching self-depracating senses of humor.  All of the aforementioned qualities, in my opinion are ESSENTIAL for a good Oscar host.  But don’t take my word for it.  See for yourself!

Did I mention Robert Downey Jr. looks wicked HOT in a tux? 😉

(2) George Clooney and Matt Damon

Nobody does Hollywood Royalty, like George Clooney and Matt Damon.  Having starred in four movies together, and having endured countless hours of interviews and press junkets, sitting side-by-side with one another, these two seriously sexy men, have a bromance that is simply unparallelled in the movie industry (well . . . except for, perhaps, the bromance between Matt Damon and Ben Affleck).   

Everybody loves Matt and George.  And they love eachother.  The wry barbs, adorable smirks, witty banter, and mild to moderately homoerotic ass slaps that would inevitably result, if these two were to host the Oscars together, would certainly be worth enduring a few lame acceptance speeches and stale musical performances for, right?

Oh, and if they could do a reprise of the “I’m F*&king Matt Damon” song, so much the better.  (I’m sure the censors would just LOVE that!)

(3) Tina Fey and Jon Hamm

To succeed as an Oscar host, it is not enough to simply be likeable, or funny, or charming, you also have to have good material.  And solid material requires GOOD WRITING.  So, what better person to host the Oscars than one of the best comedic writers in the industry?  Having spent years, writing for Saturday Night Live, and now 30 Rock, Tina Fey definitely has what it takes to write a solid Oscar monologue.  Plus, her stand-up comedic experience has made her a whiz at ad-libbing.  Of course, this is a crucial skill to have on Oscar night, when the teleprompter goes down, or the microphone stops working, or Melissa Leo drops the F-bomb . . .

As for Jon Hamm,  well the man is gorgeous, for one thing . . . and surprisingly modest, especially considering just how gorgeous he is.  Jon is also a real stand-up guy — one who’s not afraid to be goofy, or make a bit of an ass of himself.  He even knows how to DANCE (sort of).    Being able to boogie certainly can’t hurt, especially if you are an Oscar host saddled with a ridiculously cheesy musical number . . .

Hamm demonstrated both his comedic timing, and his chemistry with Tina Fey, during the actor’s guest stint on 30 Rock.  But it is the couple’s adorable debut as 2009 Emmy Presenters that really convinces me that these two have what it takes to be amazing 2012 Oscar hosts.

(4) Nathan Lane and Jane Lynch

The Oscars are nothing if not theatrical.  And my next two celebrities have theatricality up to their expertly plucked eyebrows!  Nathan Lane is comedic actor, who got his start on Broadway, and has brought his larger-than-life persona and musical talents to films ranging from The Bird Cage to The Lion King to The Producers.  You can’t help but laugh, everytime Nathan Lane is working his magic on the stage or screen.  He also looks pretty amazing in drag . . . which is a HUGE PLUS, during the Awards season.

Jane Lynch has also had a long-standing comedic film career that began on the stage.  Of course, now, we know her best as the prickly and unabashedly evil cheerleading coach, Sue Sylvester, on Glee.  Can you just imagine all the delightfully evil barbs targeted against Hollywood’s A-listers, Jane could get away with at the Oscars, if they were spoken in the context of an “As Sue Sees It” News Broadcast?

(Oh, and if Nathan and Jane could, at some point, during the ceremony belt out a duet to my favorite Disney tune “Hakuna Matata,” I would be a VERY HAPPY CAMPER!)

(5) Rico Rodriguez and Sofia Vergara

You want YOUNG Oscars, Academy?  Well, it doesn’t get much younger than Rico Rodriguez!  This pint-sized tot from Modern Family has already earned his stripes, both hosting Red Carpet Events, and tackling press junkets and interviews like a champ. 

See what I mean?  Dude brings the funny!  And he brings it HARD!  Book him NOW, before puberty hits!

It should be noted that Rico has fantastic chemistry with his TV mommy — the smokin sexy, Sofia Vergara.  Vergara’s sassy sensibility and adorable accent make absolutely everything she says hilarious.  Case in point:

Oscar telecasts, as we all know, have a tendency to get a bit long and dry, particularly during their final hours.   What better way to spice things up a bit, than with a little sultry Latin Flavor?

And, hey, even if things DON’T go well for these two as hosts, you could probably get at least an hour’s worth of material out of jokes about Rico’s age and height, and one about Sofia’s accent and bountiful . . . busom.  You can’t say that about Steve Martin or Billy Crystal!

So, there you have it, my top five picks to host the 2012 Oscars.  What are YOURS?

[www.juliekushner.com]

7 Hot Guys and 7 (well . . . actually 8) Holiday Movies: Tis’ The Season for Sexy!

Because we all need “a little Christmas,” right this very minute . . .

So, what symbolizes the start of the Holiday Season for you?  Is it the sight of multi-colored lights strung across your Christmas Tree?  The massively jaw-dropping increase on your Visa Bill?  Television’s sudden saturation with So-Sweet-You-Could-Barf Christmas movies?  For me, it is actually none of these things.  Nope . . .when I think of the holidays, I think of holiday movies.  And when I think of holiday movies, I think of the hot guys in them . . .

If you were expecting a more intellectual answer than this, CLEARLY you’ve come to the wrong blog!

Fortunately, Holiday Season 2010 is JAM PACKED with silver screen sexiness that will be sure to “rev up your Santa Sleigh” and make you wish that movie theaters came equipped with mistletoe.  So, without further adieu, it is my pleasure to bring to you Seven Sexy Stars who will be “coming” to a theater near you, this Christmas . . . (in no particular order).

(1) Garrett Hedlund – Tron Legacy and Country Strong

This adorable 26-year old Minnesota-born actor is already making himself at home in movie theaters across the world.  Currently, you can catch him as the heroic Sam Flynn in the sci-fi fantasy thriller, Tron Legacy.  And, as far as I’m concerned, any guy who can wear a “light up” spandex jump suit and make it look sexy (as opposed to REALLY creepy) is already a hero in my book!

And if THAT image didn’t convince you to go see the film, perhaps this one will . . .

You can watch the trailer for Tron Legacy here:

If Garrett Hedlund’s sexy gravel-dipped voice in the above trailer made your heart sing, I have good news for you!  Starting January 7, 2011, you can catch Garrett SINGING in the upcoming film Country Strong, which also stars Gwyneth Paltrow, and Gossip Girl‘s Leighton Meester.

Below is a clip from the film, featuring Garrett as singer/songwriter Beau Hutton, singing an impromptu duet with Leighton Meester’s character, Chiles Stanton.  Now, I’m not usually a fan of country music, but I’ve gotta say, this is GOOD!

Garrett Hedlund: a hot guy, with a great body, and amazing voice.  And he’s in not one, but TWO films?  YES, PLEASE! 

(Heck, this guy can even make LEOPARD PANTS look good!)

2) Cam Gigandet – Burlesque

OK . . . so I saw Burlesque in theaters, during the Thanksgiving break.  And I’ll be the first to tell you that, with the possible exception of “Best Song,” it’s probably not going to win any Oscars this year.  HOWEVER, the sight of 28-year old, Cam Gigandet, in the film, clad in nothing but a strategically placed box of Famous Amos cookies (Can you say, “Best Product Placement EVER!) is worth the price of admission ALONE. 

Good ole,’ Cam!  So many movies . . . so little clothes . . .

You can check out the trailer for Burlesque here:

3) Jake Gyllenhaal – Love and Other Drugs

Dashing, debonair, smart, sexy, charming, and adorably cute, is there anything (or, for that matter, any ONE) 30-year old Jake Gyllenhaal can’t do? 

Taylor Swift’s hearty breakfast

In addition to offering a “WHOLE LOTTA NAKED JAKE” . . .

. . . Love and Other Drugs is actually supposed to be a pretty darn good movie, in it’s own right.  Just ask my blogger pal, the Always Brilliant Amy!

You can check out the trailer for Love and Other Drugs here:

4) Armie Hammer – The Social Network

If you haven’t seen The Social Network by now . . . step away from your computer . . . and GET THEE TO A THEATER, GO!

This Aaron Sorkin-written, David Fincher-directed, more or less, true tale of Mark Zuckerberg’s founding of Facebook, was amazingly well-acted, riveting, extremely well-written, and surprisingly informative.  This is the type of film you will still be talking about with your friends weeks after you’ve seen it.  And there is already Oscar Buzz surrounding its director, actors, and screenplay. 

But enough of all that smart stuff, you came to this post for the Man Candy, right?

You’re welcome!

In The Social Network, 24-year old Armie Hammer plays not one, but TWO characters!  Thanks to some mind-boggling special effects (not exactly the type of thing you’d expect from a smart, dialogue-driven film about Facebook, right?), Armie Hammer plays BOTH of the handsome, wealthy, and dignified, but ultimately outsmarted, Winklevoss twins .  . .

Double the flavor.  Double the fun!

During, the film, one of Hammer’s characters can be quoted as saying, “I’m 6’5” 220, and there are two of me.”

Christmas gifts don’t get much better than that . . . You can catch the trailer for The Social Network here:

5) Paul Rudd – How Do You Know?

I knew I was in love with Paul Rudd, ever since he sat on the staircase of an opulent mansion, and made out with his sort-of, kind-of sister, in Clueless.

Too bad I was pre-pubescent at the time.  Otherwise, the two of us could have really started something beautiful, I think!  After all, this 41-year old actor has everything a girl could possibly want in a Fake Boyfriend! 

He’s hilariously funny, insanely cute, unabashedly dorky, and self-depracatingly charming.  He also, apparently, shares Cam Gigandet’s dislike for clothing, which is always a good thing . . .

Given all that, is it any wonder that Paul turns Reese Witherspoon’s head in the new film, How Do You Know?

You can watch the trailer for it, here:

6) Mark Wahlberg – The Fighter

Hey Marky Mark!  You can come play with MY Funky Bunch, ANYTIME!

This 39-year old Brooding Badass, who based the HBO hit series Entourage on his own awe-inspiring beginnings, is not only an Academy Award-winning actor, he’s also a singer-songwriter, a television and film producer, and, perhaps, most importantly,  a former underwear model . . .

Under WHERE? 😉

Wahlberg is already gettting rave reviews for his portrayal of real-life professional boxer, Micky Ward, in The Fighter.  You can check out the trailer for the film here:

7) James Franco

In a recent post, I poked a little bit of fun at 32-year old James Franco’s generalized “stoner mentality,” his brief period od soap opera “stardom,” and the Academy’s controversial decision to have him host the Oscars.  But, all kidding aside, James Franco is receiving rave reviews for his portrayal of Aron Ralston — the hiker forced to amputate his own arm with a dull knife, after being trapped under a bolder for weeks — in the film 127 Hours . . .

Sure, watching a guy SAW HIS OWN ARM OFF might not exactly be this shallow shirtless male-oriented blogger’s idea of a good time.  But when the guy doing the sawing looks like THIS . . .

 . . . I may be able to make an exception. 

Besides, the more Oscar-nominated films I see before the New Year, the better chance I have of winning my annual Oscar Pool, come February.  And Mama needs a new fake plastic award to put on her MANTLE!

You can watch the trailer for 127 Hours here:

So, there you have it, seven holiday films (well .  . . actually eight), and seven sexy holiday stars, who are sure to put you in the Spirit of Giving (and TAKING!) this year.  Now, don’t you be telling people I didn’t get you anything for Christmas!

Happy Holidays, fellow fangirls (and boys)!

[www.juliekushner.com]

James Franco is Hosting the Oscars . . . Seriously.

So, by now, you’ve probably all heard that the 83rd Annual Academy Awards (set to air February 27, 2011 on ABC) will be co-hosted by James Franco and Anne Hathaway.  And I’m willing to bet that you’ve had at least one debate with your friends recently, as to why that is or isn’t a good idea.

Perhaps, you’ve even read the interview, in which Franco explained his decision to accept the job hosting the Awards, by saying, quite eloquently, “Why not? . . . I don’t care.”

“Yeah . . . umm . . . I guess I’ll do the Oscars.  Whatevs.  I mean, I don’t have to . . . like . . . get up early for this, do I?”

“So, who the heck is James Franco?”  You might be asking yourself . . . Well, for starters, he’s the guy in that movie about that dude who chopped of his own arm . . .

 

All kidding aside, I heard 127 Hours was actually quite good.  I’m just too much of a Big Baby to go see it.

He also played a supporting role in the 2008 Harvey Milk biopic, Milk, alongside Sean Penn . . .

Tight jeans + Porn Star mustache = Super Sexy

Although these are the two roles for which James Franco is most well-known, he’s been in plenty of other stuff too.  Here are just a few of Franco’s “Greatest Hits:”

James played The Hot Guy in Freaks and Geeks . . .

He was also The Bad Guy in Spiderman 3 . . .

Check out Franco’s Awesome, “Bad Guys Don’t Botox” Face

He was The Stoned Guy Who’s Not Seth Rogen in The Pineapple Express . . .

And he was That Weird Guy Who Killed People, and then Painted About it on General Hospital . . .

But all of the aforementioned roles mean nothing, if Franco can’t host a decent Award Show, right? 

And so, without further adieu, I would like to present to you my argument as to why James Franco has all the qualities one needs, in order to be a FABULOUS Oscars host (complete with photographs, videoclips, and . . . well . . . not much else).

Like all the best Oscar Hosts, James Franco has the ability to stay “cool” under “pressure” . . .

He’s also real good with THE LADIES . . .

Franco is funny (though not always intentionally) . . .

He’s precise!

He’s hardworking . . .

 . . . not to mention, INTENSELY DEDICATED to his “craft” . . .

And James can be VERY articulate . . . when he puts his mind to it . . .

(Warning:  The below clip contains a bit of what your Mommy would call, “Harsh Language.”)

So, let’s put our Franco-fied doubts to rest, shall we?  When it comes to hosting the Oscars, our main man James, is going to do just FINE!  And if not?  Well . . . who doesn’t like to watch a good train wreck, every now and then! 😉

See you February 27th, James!

[www.juliekushner.com]