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It’s Always Dawn-est Before the Dark – A Recap of Once Upon a Time’s “Heroes and Villains”

queens of darkness

Welcome to the mid-season finale of Once Upon a Time, a.k.a. The Episode Where We Learn How Everything That Was Fixed in the Last Episode Will Turn to Crap Just in Time for Part B of the Season. It was an episode jam packed with ooey gooey goodness, and a heaping helping of angst thrown in for good measure. Let’s see, we got a wedding . . .

clapping

. . . well . . . part of a wedding . . .

ouat 4.1 belle

. . . we got to see a bride look in the mirror before her wedding . . .

“What? She couldn’t have waited another 20 minutes, until she got home? What a b*tch! Team Regina all the way!”

Two lovers rekindled their romance . . .

say goodbye

. . . and then . . . un-kindled it.

regina tears

Rumpel had a very good day . . .

everything i desire

. . . followed by a very bad one . . .

im afraid

. . . followed by a trip to the aquarium?

Lots of people made out with one another.

reunited kiss hook

And three very fabulous Drag Queens of Darkness finally found their King.

Let’s review, shall we?

You can check out the rest of this recap here.

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To Thine Own Self Be True – A Recap of Once Upon a Time’s “Smash the Mirror”

smashing the mirror

“This above all: to thine own self be true.”

In Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Polonius said these iconic words to his son Laertes on the eve of the latter’s trip to Paris to warn him not to go slutting it up with the local Parisian lassies while on holiday. He could be a bit uptight sometimes, that Polonius.

Nowadays, these words are commonly evoked to mean something a bit less . . . celibate. They are about self-acceptance, self-love, self-understanding, and all that other mushy gushy “self” stuff. They are about embracing your flaws and weaknesses with as much passion as you do your strengths and gifts. These words are Dr. Phil: Twitter Edition, basically.

Coincidentally, this famous phrase also just so happens to be the theme of this week’s Super-Sized Edition of Once Upon a Time. Love yourself . . .

. . . even if you have a habit of shooting firebolts out of you fingertips, which occasionally turn your son into a human rocket launcher . . .

finger magic

. . . or you have a really bad snow dandruff problem, and only own one smelly dress . . .

ouat 4.1.a dandruff

. . .or if you have the worst haircut in the history of bad haircuts . . .

ouat 4.2 snow upset

. . . or you are an Evil Queen with a penchant for boning married dudes in mausoleums . . .

mackin outlaw 2

. . . or you’re a popsicle . . .

“Hey, anyone got a tissue? Or an ice scraper?”

“Hey, anyone got a tissue? Or an ice scraper?”

. . . or you have a delusion that two women who look and are young enough to be your daughters are actually your “sisters” . . .

sad snow

Love yourself, in spite of all these things, or better yet, because of them.

Because, if you don’t, you can be sure as hell that nobody else will . . .

Let’s review, shall we?

To check out the rest of this jumbo-sized, snarktastic recap, click here.

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The Firestarter – A Recap of Once Upon a Time’s “The Snow Queen”

<a href=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/blowing.gif”><img class=”size-full wp-image-25931 aligncenter” src=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/blowing.gif&#8221; alt=”blowing” width=”500″ height=”281″ /></a>

In a season that’s been all about snow monsters, people who shoot ice out of their fingers, and women who accidentally/on purpose get turned into popsicles, “The Snow Queen” was a nice, refreshing, change of pace. Why, you ask? Because this was an hour of television that brought the heat, in more ways than one . . .

Now, unless you own an ice cream shop or a ski lodge, or just find the refrigerator in your home to be a huge waste of space, the ability to shoot icicles from your finger is pretty much one of the least useful super powers ever.

<a href=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/ouat-4.3-ice-cream.jpg”><img class=”aligncenter wp-image-24834 size-full” src=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/ouat-4.3-ice-cream.jpg&#8221; alt=”Gluten free, death full!” width=”587″ height=”280″ /></a>

(Almost as unhelpful in life as “being able to tell when people are lying <del datetime=”2014-11-10T03:14:15+00:00″>except for when its plot convenient for you not to be able to tell.</del>”)

Shooting firebolts from your fingers on the other hand, now THAT is pure awesomesauce.
<p style=”text-align: center;”><a href=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/finger-magic.jpg”><img class=”alignnone size-full wp-image-25347″ src=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/finger-magic.jpg&#8221; alt=”finger magic” width=”599″ height=”337″ /></a></p>
Consider this for a moment. In a single episode, we saw Emma’s magical hot fingers used to warm baby bottles . . .

. . . convert dull tap water into sparkling . . .

. . . provide an inexpensive form of mood lighting . . .

. . . offer demolition and remodeling services . . .

. . . and redirect traffic.
<p style=”text-align: center;”><a href=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/haha-snow1.gif”><img class=”alignnone size-full wp-image-25952″ src=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/haha-snow1.gif&#8221; alt=”haha snow” width=”500″ height=”240″ /></a></p>
Also bringing the heat, this week, Regina and Robin, who taught all of us the very important lesson that, while cheaters never win, they still can be really awesome kissers.

<a href=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/more-makeout.gif”><img class=”wp-image-25928 size-full” src=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/more-makeout.gif&#8221; alt=”more makeout” width=”245″ height=”150″ /></a> Game of Bones
<p style=”text-align: left;”>More importantly, amidst all of this “hot stuff,” the titular Snow Queen finally got her own backstory. And, holy heck, was it a heart breaker (heart freezer?) One that arguably sets her apart as one of the most sympathetic villains in <em>Once</em> history, played with devastating vulnerability and an understated and, dare I say, chilly, grace by Elizabeth Mitchell.</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><a href=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/cant-love.gif”><img class=”alignnone size-full wp-image-25922″ src=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/cant-love.gif&#8221; alt=”cant love” width=”245″ height=”240″ /></a></p>
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Let’s review, shall we?</p>

You can check out the rest of the recap here.

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Coitus Interruptus – A Recap of Once Upon a Time’s Season 4 Premiere “A Tale of Two Sisters”

elsa and anna

Anna: “I’m so excited. I get to play a married early twenty something woman on an adult television show. Do you think they’ll finally let me take off these ridiculous pigtail braids?”

Elsa: “No.”

Anna: “But . . .”

Elsa: “Just let it go, Anna. Let it go.”

It’s official.  The prime time television season is back in session.  There goes my social life . . .

You can check out my random musings about Robin Hood’s failed attempt at propositioning a threesome, Hook’s and Emma’s oddly kinky idea of a first date, Rumpbelle’s House Crasher Honeymoon Oasis, and why I think the StayPuft Marshmallow man has seen better days, by clicking here.

Or . . . you can spend the evening hanging out with This Guy.  It’s totally up to you . . .

grrr frosty

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