Well, hello there, Shirtless Jesse Williams! My, have you “grown” since that Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movie! In fact, I’d very much like to travel in YOUR pants.
Ahh, biology. It’s just not fair. You see a picture like the one above, and wonder where YOU were, when they were handing out the chiseled arms and insane abs, in Heaven. I mean, seriously! Doesn’t it seem like some people have ALL THE LUCK, gene-wise, while others . . . well . . .DON’T?
It kind of reminds me of this old movie I used to watch, when I was a kid . . .
This week’s installent of Grey’s, not surprisingly, given the title, was all about doctors and patients trying to . . . for lack of a better phrase . . . “fight biology.” Let’s see how they did, shall we?
You’ve Gotta Fight, For Your Right to Potty!
So, what do you think Meredith is charging for rent, nowadays? Given the revolving door of roommates she’s had since Season 1, that girl must be making a FORTUNE! That being said, do you think she’d let ME move in? I mean, I’d even be willing to sleep in the attic, next to the Christmas Ornaments, like Lexie . . . or on the roof, or in the shower.
They call it a “Frat House.” I call it a “Fun House.” It’s all a matter of how you look at things . . .
Unfortunately, Lexie doesn’t agree. She wants Jackson and April gone . . . well, mostly April . . . she’s not blind after all. Granted it does seem a bit unfair that April, who moved in after Lexie (presumably, shortly after The Shooting), gets Izzie’s room, while Lexie is stuck in the attic, with the moth balls.
“Why does April get to be New Izzie? I am so much more like Izzie than April! April is a TOTAL George! She’s even socially awkward and celibate, like he was in early Season 1”
Interestingly enough, however, Lexie’s beef is NOT with the room arrangements, but with April, herself. “I find her annoying,” gripes Lexie.
‘Really, because I find you, much more annoying,” says Christina, matter-of-factly. (Awww, I love Old Snarky Christina! I’ve been missing her a lot lately, especially during all this depressing PTSD-stuff.)
COME BACK, Hilariously Grouchy Robot Surgeon, COME BACK!
Meredith, however, kindly tells Lexie to “suck it up.” After all, Big Grey has got her own problems to deal with. And those problems come with a name: HOSTILE UTERUS.
According to the obstetrician Meredith and Derek visit at the beginning of the episode, it was likely the hostility of Meredith’s uterus, and not the trauma of The Shooting, that caused Meredith to miscarry. Therefore, without proper treatment, she very well may miscarry again.
Ever the ray of sunshine, Derek is not the least bit bothered by this news. “How would you feel if she called your penis, angry or snide?” Meredith retorts.
Back in Newlywed Land, Owen and Christina are searching for a new apartment, when they come upon an Old Firehouse with which Owen becomes immediatley smitten.
“It has a fire pole.”
“See, honey, you see a ‘Fire Pole,’ I see a ‘Stripper Pole.’ It’s all about how you look at things!”
Meanwhile, over in Lesbi-land, Arizona is getting majorly P O’ed, because Mark keeps nosing his way into her “Happy Time” with Callie.
Arizona’s obvious dislike for Mark puts Callie in a tough position, because he is her Bestie with Benefits. When Callie questions Arizona about her McSteamy Hate, she explains that he “has abs where his soul should be?” (And that’s a BAD thing?)
As if being soulless wasn’t awful enough, Mark “like totally stares at Arizona’s boobs, like all the time.”
Seattle Grace has a new face . . .
Poor Chief Webber! It has been only a few days, since he resumed the position of “Chief” at the hospital. And, already, Seattle Grace is having an Identity Crisis. Who knew The Shooting would be so bad for morale? Fortunately El Jefe has some ideas about how to bring Seattle Grace back to Numbero Uno.
The first is to create a wing for Bariatric (a.k.a. weight loss) Surgery. But in order to create such a wing, Webber would have to tear down the Dead Denny Memorial Clinic.
“Hell to the NO! I’m not having that man’s ghost haunting me. Did you SEE what did to Izzie? He completely ruined her character.“
Chief Webber’s next idea to save the hospital’s image is a new advertising campaign.
Hmmm . . . not bad. But you know what would be even better?
Now THAT is a place I would go to get my appendix removed and my panties!
What Jackson Avery and Vampires have in common . . .
“You WILL finish reading this recap. And tell all your friends how many shirtless pictures of ME are in it. I compel YOU!”
Like most of the doctors at Seattle Grace, Jackson hasn’t quite been “himself” since “The Shooting.” He’s been repeatedly dropping his pants things, making mistakes, answering questions wrong, and making sloppy notes in his attending’s files.
“You just got called a dumb blonde,” sneers Karev, when he and Jackson overhear Teddy griping about the breathtakingly beautiful doctor.
This gives Jackson an idea . . .
I bet you didn’t know this, but the Grey’s writers Jackson Avery just so happens to be a BIG fan of vampire television shows, like True Blood and The Vampire Diaries. And, if you’ve ever watched those shows (and you should, because they are AWESOME), you know that just about once every episode, there’s a scene, where the beautiful vampire will stare directly into the unwitting victim’s eyes, and MAKE him or her do whatever the vampire says.
Well, Jackson may not be a vampire at least, that we know of, but he sure is beautiful enough to be one! So, he decides to try to mind control Teddy into giving him surgeries. And IT WORKS . . .
. . . at least for about 3 /4ths of the episode. Teddy gets wise to Jackson’s evil vampire tricks, when she finds him partially nude in the locker room at work . . . obviously, waiting for her to find him like that.
Teddy is TOTALLY turned on PISSED! She starts peppering Jackson with surgical questions. And when he answers them correctly, she REALLY lets him have it! (But not in the way, any of us, were secretly hoping she would 😉 ).
“You are more than the pretty face you make yourself out to be,” Teddy lectures.
She goes on to tell Jackson that, while flubbing up during rounds is not a fireable offense, flirting in the OR IS,which means this WHOLE CAST should have been canned a LONG TIME AGO. “Put your shirt on, and scrub in,” she seethes, before stalking off.
Teddy is officially my hero . . . except for the part where she told Jackson to put on his shirt. That sucked.
“Men Don’t Discriminate, When It Comes To Jugs”
“And women don’t discriminate when it comes to &*^s.”
Speaking of objectification of the human body, throughout the episode, Arizona continues to avoid Mark like the plague — throwing out her best B*tch Face, whenever he tries to talk to Callie in front of her. This isn’t surprising. What is surprising, is who ends up putting a stop to it . . . THIS GUY!
Alex explains to Arizona that Mark saved Karev’s life during The Shooting. he did this, even though, at the time, Karev was sleeping with his girl. “That doesn’t sound like someone without a soul, does it?”
“So, what if he stares at your boobs?” Karev continues. “They’re good boobs. I stare at them. Sure, maybe they are lesbian boobs. But guys don’t discriminate when it comes to boobs. You should be nice to him, because you love her.”
And so, that was how Arizona came to ask Mark out on a date. I smell a threesome . . .
Men DO discriminate when it comes to legs . . .
Speaking of Alex, telling Arizona that she had nice boobs wasn’t the only nice thing he did this episode. (TWO nice things in one hour? Surely, this has to be some kind of a Karev Record.) It all started when Alex was doing his Pediatric Rotation with Arizona. One of the patients he met there, was a young male ballet phenom, who was suffering from bone cancer.
In order to prevent the cancer from spreading, normal medical procedure would suggest that he would need to have his leg amputated. The young ballet dancer was inconsolate over this suggestion. Even if he was given the best prosthetic leg that money could buy, he would never be able to dance again. To prove his point, the ballet dancer performs for Alex and the other doctors, right there in the hospital room.
The dance was touching. But was even more touching was the boy’s big manly beefcake of a dad’s excited and super proud reaction to it. Coolest . . . Patient’s . . . Dad . . . EVER! I got teary just watching him.
Alex was affected by the performance too, which was why he HAD to find a way to rescue the dancer’s leg. Enter April . . .
She of the Energizer Virginity (It keeps going . . . and going), and the Chore Wheels, and the Squeaky Voice. It is SHE who recalls reading an article about a cadaver bone, which was used as a replacement for a cancerous human bone. Alex is so overjoyed, he even gives April his fries!
Lexie is PISSED!
Maybe April is the New Izzie, after all . . . 😉
Although they don’t have a cadaver bone, Alex and Co. are able to remove the dancer’s leg bone, clean the cancer out of it, and reinstert it back inside the dancer. So, the dancer will be able to dance again. And everybody lives happily ever after . . .
Except Lexie . . .
You see, Girlfriend, has a BAD case of the Green Eyed Monster. And everytime, she sees Meredith and the rest of the crew paling around with April, you can almost see the little tufts of steam rising out of her ears.
And when Lexie finds out that Meredith told April about her trip to the obstetrician and not her, she EXPLODES! In fact, she’s pretty sure she’s going nuts, like that crazy lady from Six Feet Under, who drove her car into a laundromat, because her ex husband was in there, washing his new girlfriend’s “delicates.”
WOW, someone REALLY doesn’t like granny panties . . .
Fortunately, Meredith is able to calm Lexie down, by convincing her little sister that “you’re not crazy, you’re a Grey” (i.e. YOU’RE REALLY CRAZY!)
Ultimately, Lexie apologizes to April for being a total BIATCH to her for the past hour. The pair even manage to reach some sort of a truce, as long as April doesn’t do anything crazy . . . like put up a Chore Wheel in the Meredith Grey Frat House of Love . . .
The part where patients’ suffer, so Meredith and Christina can work out their personal issues . . .
Who needs therapy, when you have a whole hospital full of patients, chock with “life lessons” right at your fingertips? Christina’s life lesson comes from that lawyer with Aspergers from Boston Legal. Only, now he is a professor, who eats worms.
*sings* “Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. I guess I’ll have to go eat WORMS!”
Apparently, the Professor was eating these worms, as part of his research toward finding a cure for asthma. Ummm . . . eating worms . . . for asthma? That kind of reminds me of those pharmaceutical commercials that sell medicine for Restless Leg Syndrome. You know, the ones where the side effects are dry mouth, stroke, heart attack, loss of limbs, and BRUTAL PAINFUL DEATH?
But the Professor, man, he LOVES HIS WORMS! He loves them so much, in fact, that he would rather risk his own life, than have a vital surgery, because said surgery might kill the worms! Eventually, however, the Professor finds himself completely out of options. Worms be damned. Surgery is a MUST. So, the Professor pleads with Christina to save the worms. “When you love something, you will do anything for it,” he says.
Unfortunately, Christina is unable to save the Professor’s precious worms following surgery.
Wow, I can’t believe this show actually has the power to make me cry over DEAD WORMS! Way to go, Grey’s!
But her talk with the Professor, convinced her to return to surgery, FINALLY reminded her of how much she loves Owen. In fact, she loves him so much, that she got him the apartment with the stripper fire pole!
For Meredith’s part, she meets a patient, who is just starting to show signs of Huntington’s disease. However, rather than spend her last few “normal” months going to doctors and getting tests, she decides to take a trip to Brazil, and do lots of fun slutty things with Hot Sexy Latino Men.
MY KINDA LADY!
This gets Meredith to thinking about her mother’s struggles with early onset Alzheimers, and whether she too has the gene. Meredith decides to let Christina take her blood and test her for it. However, while the results are sitting at the lab, Meredith tells Derek what she has done, and he feels differently about it than she does.
Derek doesn’t want he and Meredith to spend the rest of their sort-of young lives fearing the inevitable. He wants to have LOTS OF SEX (yay!), and work, and drink, and do all those other things we typically associate with “normal” life. “Let’s just live,” concludes Derek.
Do YOU agree with him?