Blaine-y are you OK? Are you OK, Blaine-y? – A Recap of Glee’s “Michael”

BLAINE:  “Ummmm . . .  Kurt, what are you doing?”

KURT: “I’m taking your pulse, to make sure that evil slushie didn’t kill you.”

BLAINE: “Last time I checked, I didn’t have a pulse in my ass . . .” 

Greetings, fellow Gleeks!  This week, Glee paid homage to the King of Pop, through a series of MJ-inspired ballads and dance numbers.  Also this week, we experienced our first-ever slushie maiming, three college acceptance announcements (I’m sorry . . . one acceptance . . . two “finalists.”), two couples’ reunion-via-duet, and one Crazy Cellist War.  So, gulp down your Rock Salt Slushie, slap a tape recorder onto your under boob, grab your crotch, and yell, “HEE-HEEEE,” because it’s time for another Gleecap . . .

Because the school library is the absolute best place to spontaneously break out in song

Santana and the rest of the Troubletones are talking about how bummed out they are that, unlike the rest of their New Directions buddies, they never got to perform a Michael Jackson song for a crowd.  So, Blaine, the kind soul that he is, decides to make it up to them, by singing MJ’s classic “Wanna Be Startin’ Something,” mainly by himself, while the rest of the gang dances around him, and sings backup.  (Hmmm . . . correct me if I’m wrong here, but wasn’t THIS precisely why the Troubletones defected from the New Directions in the first place . . . because they were ALWAYS singing backup to the likes of folks like Rachel and Blaine?)

Nice going, Mr. Sexy Pants!

Anyway, Blaine takes his little crotch-grabbing conga line through the library, where he picks up the rest of the Glee kids en route to the auditorium.  There things get super cutesy, with the name “Michael” in lights, magically appearing on stage behind them, and every Glee kid clad in iconic Michael Jackson wear, from various periods in his life.

By now we’ve seen Glee do the whole “fashion tribute” thing, a few times during it’s “artist themed” episodes.  But I think it works particularly well here, because Michael Jackson was surprisingly fashion iconic for a dude.  He’s also been a mainstay in the music world for roughly forty years.  So, these costumes function as a sort of history lesson for some of us, and a trip down memory lane, for others . . .

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In fact, dare I say it, but I almost found the costumes in this musical number more memorable than the performance itself?  Check it out . .  .

Sexy Blaine is “too high to get over” and “too low to get under.”  So, it looks like we are going to have to *clears throat* go right through him, if you catch my drift  . . .

The Ring 4 – A Horror Love Story

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Oh dear, sweet, NAIVE, Finchel!  Last week, we found our stalwart Finn Hudson in a bit of a teen-life crisis.  Everything he thought he knew and loved about his life, was in danger of slipping through his fingers.  The FUTURE was looming, large and terrifying, over his potato-shaped head.  And try as he might, he couldn’t run from it.  So, instead, he grabbed tightly to the only piece of his crumbling world that still made sense.  In a moment of romantic impulsivity, mixed with just a twinge of desperation, Finn Hudson proposed to Rachel Berry . . .

And Rachel said . . . .

 . . . well, apparently, she said absolutely nothing . . . ZERO, ZILCH, ZIPPO.  (In fact, this is probably the first time in Rachel’s entire life, that she was left speechless . . . sans monologue and/or power ballad.)

To this cavernous Void of Speech and Song, Finn apparently responded (in a male version of the voice of that creepy girl from The Ring movies) “THREE DAYS.”  *shivers*

For those who aren’t horror movie fans, in The Ring movies, if you watch a certain video tape in which a creepy chick crawls out of a well, once that video is over, that same chick calls you to tell you you are going to die in seven days.  Annnd . . . then she kills you.

In the Finchel version, Rachel has three days to respond to Finn’s proposal, or he will make her choke on the engagement ring . . . never to sing again.  JUST KIDDING!  He just needs an answer, thank you very much.  Unfortunately for him, Rachel’s still not quite ready to respond.

Golly, I wonder why?  It couldn’t possibly have anything to do with the fact that she is seventeen, has minimal dating experience, and wants to be FAMOUS, now could it?  “You don’t need to marry me to keep me from straying,” Rachel promises him.  “There is only you, until I go to college, and meet the next Ryan Gosling.  Then, all bets are off.”

Finn agrees to call off the creepy chick from The Ring, and give Rachel some more time to decide her entire future.  That’s very generous of him .  . .

No More Mr. Nice Gay!

Now, the Glee kids are hanging out at the Only Coffee Shop in Lima talking about . . . wait for it . . . Michael Jackson.  They decide to go around in a circle, and share their favorite MJ memories, which, considering they were all still in the womb, during most of the guy’s career, should be an impressive batch of stories.  Rachel admits that she doesn’t “get” Michael Jackson, bascially, because he doesn’t sing show tunes.  So, the rest of the Glee club promptly proceed to browbeat her for this admission.  No sense, angering MJ’s estate, when they so kindly offered Ryan Murphy and Co., MJ’s entire song catalogue, right?

This Michael Jackson Informercial is interrupted by Big Bad Sebastian Warbler.  Remember him?  The Lobster from The Little Mermaid?

 The guy who seemed to have a big ole crush on Blaine, and wasn’t afraid to bulldoze right over Poor Kurt, in order to show it?  Well, the Lobster’s motives for this little flirtation are now being severely called into question.

We are told that Sebastian learned of New Directions plans to do another Michael Jackson medley, by calling Blaine, under the guise of his needing help getting a wine stain out of his jacket.  (I don’t know, Kurt.   It sounds like phone sex to me . . . Jackets were definitely removed, at least.)  I loved Blaine’s sheepish facial expression, after being called out on this.  You would think that a guy who looks like Darren Criss would be used to the constant flirtations of men and women.  But Blaine was clearly so taken aback by Sebastian’s faux show of interest in him, that it led him to miss ALL the red flags about this guy.

I haven’t decided yet, if I find this charming, or just really, really stupid . .  .

Anywhoo, now Sebastian says that the WARBLERS will also be doing an MJ medley.  This, of course, prompts Santana to go a little Lima Heights Adjacent on the Lobster’s ass.

 So, the Lobster retorts by making a comment about all of Santana’s relatives in prison.

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At first, I found this piece of dialogue to be a little racist.  Then, I realized (based on Santana’s reaction) that her family members actually are supposed to be in prison.  And I’m still not sure, if that made the joke more racist, or less . . .

Anywhoo . . . Sebastian says that he’s captain of the Warblers now, and is tired of playing nice.  Then, he butt wiggles toward the exit, while the rest of the Glee kids, even the typically unflappable Santana, watch him go, open-mouthed, and more than a bit frightened.  And now, we are probably NEVER going to learn how to get wine stains out of suit jackets.  DAMMIT!

Two Glee Clubs, both alike in dignity . . .

The Glee kids decide to settle their score with the Warbler’s like adults . . . or, rather, like gang leaders and / or people who spend way too much time watching West Side Story.  They decide to meet their nemeses in an abandoned parking lot.  (Yeah, because THAT’s a safe place to play!)  Clad in leather jackets and scowls, the Glee kids, duel dance and sing, against the Warblers, in an approximate recreation of the music video for Michael Jackson’s “Bad.”

Toward the end of the song, the groups broke off into pairs of two.  And from that point on, I couldn’t stop watching Sebastian and Santana, who were paired off against one another.  I know their character’s are gay.  But I just can’t get over the sexual chemistry Naya Rivera and Grant Gustin have with one another.  It’s positively electric, and it emanates from them, every time they share a scene together.  (More on that, later.)

Speaking of Santana, I was happy to see her get a solo in this number, since “Bad” is oddly well-suited to her voice.  My one gripe about the number, is that Puck wasn’t given more to do.  You know . . . the former bully, who wears a mohawk, and spent time in juvie.  Wouldn’t you think this whole “gang homage” would have been right up his alley?

Additionally, I’m always of fan of Glee putting it’s own spin on popular songs, as opposed to merely recreating them.  And I think that the inclusion of Mark Salling’s raspy baritone into this number, could have made “Bad” something really special.

It’s not until the end of the song that things start to go really . . . for lack of a better term . . . bad.  We see one of the Warblers hand Sebastian a brown paper bag containing an orange slushie.  Sebastian aims to throw it at Kurt, but Blaine dives in the way.  Instantly he crumbles on the floor, yelping and screaming, as the rest of the Warblers slink away.

Like, I suspect, many of you, at first, I found Blaine’s dramatic response to having his leather jacket and face dirtied, a bit over-the-top.  I even recall laughing at him, a bit.  Then, I found out the slushie actually scratched his cornea.  So, I felt like crap.  Thanks Glee!

Artie CAN WALK (and wear REALLY tight pants)!

You know who else felt like crap about Blaine’s eye injury?  Artie.  He’s tired of being pushed around by bullies, and rich kids wearing Hogwarts uniforms.  He wants justice, dammit.  He wants to crack some SKULLS AND SOME CORNEAS!

But Schue says, NO!  Better to roll over and play dead . . . you know, kind of like Mr. Schue does himself, whenever he’s brow-beaten by his ex wife, or Sue Sylvester, or Principal Figgins, or the six year old who sells him girl scout cookies, or the neighbor’s chihuahua . . .

Artie is just SO MAD that he GETS UP AND STORMS OFF, with Mike Chang, close behind him . . .

Wait . . . WHAT????!!!!

Ooooh . . .  now I get it . . . it’s a DAYDREAM SEQUENCE, also known as a near perfect visual recreation of Michael and Janet Jackson’s “Scream,” with Artie playing Michael, and Mike, oddly enough, playing Janet . . . even down to the hairdo.

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For those familiar with the video, seeing it recreated in this way was really cool.  (Though, I suspect those who weren’t familiar with the original video, it just looked . . . weird.)  That said, I love that they gave Harry Shum, Jr. a solo in this one.  His voice has improved by leaps and bounds, since the series began.  I just wish the producers strayed from the original video, a bit more, to allow him to do more of his trademark dancing . . .

So, I guess Quinn’s . . . like smart . . . or something.

While lurking through the Glee message boards, I noticed that the pairing of Rachel Berry and Quinn Febray is extremely popular among a segment of the fandom.

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And those shippers were undoubtedly squealing with joy, when Rachel met Quinn in the ladies room, in order to get advice about that whole “Finn proposed to me,” thing.

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Now, I’ve gotta say, this wasn’t exactly Rachel’s most thoughtful moment.  I mean, correct me, if I’m wrong, but didn’t Finn LEAVE Quinn for Rachel MULTIPLE TIMES . . . the last one occuring very recently.  Didn’t she worry that hearing this might . . . I don’t know . . .  hurt Quinn’s feelings, a little bit.

After all, it’s one thing for your first love to move on, and fall in love with someone else.  It’s quite another for him to MARRY that someone else . . . And that brand of heartache is certainly not something one expects to have to deal with, while still in high school.  Then again, it could be argued that no one should have to deal with pregnancy in high school either, and yet many young women do every year, including Quinn  . . .

That said, Quinn was surprisingly SUPER adult about the whole thing . . . more adult than I suspect I would be.  Rather than calling Rachel out for her insensitivity, Quinn kindly and gently, but firmly, offers her some pretty sound advice.  “You have an amazing life ahead of you,” she tells her frenemy.  “You can finally get what you want, what you always dreamed of.  Don’t throw it away.”

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She also tells her to DUMP Finn, and leave high school completely behind.  Well . . . that might be a bit like throwing the Finn baby out with the bathwater.  But in terms of the marriage proposal, I think Quinn’s got a point.  If Rachel sacrifices her own dreams to be with Finn, she will eventually come to resent him for it.

Quinn then announces to Rachel (and, eventually, the rest of the Glee club) that she got into Yale.  Wow, I remember, a few episodes back, when Quinn mentioned she was applying to Yale (but only because she felt she wasn’t a good enough singer to get into NYATA (also known as the Glee equivalent of whereever it was the kids from the original 90210 went to college), I actually started laughing, because the character never struck me as being particularly smart.

Sorry!

But apparently, the whole time Quinn was getting (1) knocked up, (2) kicked out of her house, (3) giving birth, (4) trying to steal her baby, and (5) hanging out in the bathroom with a group of girls called “The Skanks” she was also getting Straight A’s.

Who knew?

Quinn’s solo this week “Never Can Say Goodbye” . . .

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 . . .  which she sings to Rachel, and, of course, to all the Glee men she’s boned in the past.

I’ll admit, it wasn’t my favorite number of the episode (or even my favorite Dianna Agron performance).  But, hey, at least she looked really pretty doing it!

Goodbye Quinn!  We sure will miss your sometimes-crazy ass!

I LOVE BURT HUMMEL! 

Burt Hummel is PURE awesomesauce!  He came all the way down to McKinley High, in the middle of the day, just to give Kurt his mail.  That’s right, Kiddies, the NYATA admissions letters are FINALLY HERE.  And Kurt’s is REALLY SMALL, which, many college hopefuls can tell you, tends not to be a good sign.  While he was opening that letter, I was so worried that  you would think it was me about to get my dreams crushed, not him.

But wait . . . it’s not a rejection at all.  He’s a NYATA finalist!  Kurt’s ecstatic, of course.  But Burt seems even more thrilled.  “They hurt you, and tried to bring you down, but you beat them all,” Burt tells his son, while choked up with pride.  “I’m so proud to be your dad.  They can never take this away from you.  You won.”

And . . . now my mascara is running all over my face.  Thanks Burt!  (What can I say, I’m always a big sucker for those father / son moments . . .

Speaking of winning . . .

Sam SCORES!

Continuing on his quest to get back inside Mercedes panties, Sam gets her to meet him in the auditorium, where he ropes her into singing, MJ’s soft, sweet, and sensual, “Human Nature.”

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The performance itself was a fairly bare-bones one.  But I was impressed by how nicely Chord Overstreet’s and Amber Riley’s voices complemented one another.  The duet also highlighted the couple’s romantic chemistry.  And Sam must have been doing something right, because this number ended in a much-more-than-friendly kiss.

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Sorry Shane!  It looks like your guest star days as Mercedes’ arm candy are numbered . . .

“Gee, sorry about your eye, Blaine.  Let me sing you a song about this rat I know . . .”

Meanwhile, at Blaine’s house, he’s in bed, rocking an eye patch (and awaiting the surgery that took his character conveniently out of commission, while Darren Criss starred in “How to Succeed in Business” on Broadway).  Blaine looks like a really cute gay pirate, but you can tell he’s seriously bummed about it.  Cue the entrance of Finchel and Kurt to lift his spirits, by singing him a song about how they Blaine him, no matter what he looks like . . . even if he just so happens to look like a garbage-eating, subway crawling, disease-infested rat.

OK . . . this rat is actually kind of cute.  But still! 

That’s right, folks.  Michael Jackson wrote the song “Ben” about a rat.  And now Kurt is singing it to his boyfriend . . .

2Cellos or Not 2Cellos . . .

Meanwhile, Santana has broken into La Casa de Warbler, home of Blaine’s former friends, who have since turned on him, like a bunch of . . . dare I say it . . . rats.  She confronts Sebastian for round two of their hot hate sex, disguised as dancing and singing angry duel for Blaine’s honor.  Sebastian excuses his fellow Warblers, telling them he doesn’t want them to see him make a girl cry.  But we all know it’s really because he doesn’t want them to see him cry in pure orgasmic ecstasy.

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In a room filled with a maze of chairs, fueled by the sounds of the two super talented, but-so-intense-they-are-a-bit-scary, cellists from the group 2Cellos, Sebastian and Santana tease and taunt one another, as they chase eachother around the room to the tune of Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal.”  Like, I suspect, many of you, I watched this number on YouTube, long before I saw it, in the actual episode.  And yet, it still remains, by far, my favorite musical number of the hour.

For starters, the performance a truly original take on MJ’s original song, bolstered by the sultry intensity of Naya Rivera’s vocals.  But, more importantly (for me, anyway), the complex and heated subtext between Sebastian and Santana, as they joust in more ways then one, pulling and prodding one another to the song’s ecstatic crescendo, adds layers to both the music and MJ’s words that I didn’t even know existed.

Did I mention that Sebastian openly admits to Santana that he put rock salt in that ill-fated slushie that ended up in Blaine’s corneas.

ROCK SALT!  (That’s really awful.  And it makes me feel even worse for laughing at Blaine, when he first went down, early on in the episode.)  Considering that Dalton Academy was a school to which Kurt originally transferred, largely for it’s “no tolerance for violence” policy, POURING ROCK SALT IN SOMEONE’S FACE, just so they can’t compete in a SINGING COMPETITION sure seems like  it would grounds for expulsion, don’t you think?   (Possibly even jail time.)

And though Sebastian seems to have absolutely no remorse for nearly blinding his almost-boyfriend, ultimately, it’s Santana, who has the last laugh.  Why?  Because she got the whole thing on tape, by attaching a bug . . . to her “underboob” . . . naturally . . .

Don’t want Finchel to get married?  Blame Rachel’s mailman . . .

“Dear USPS . . . YOU SUCK!  I’d send this letter to you by mail, but, knowing you guys, you will probably never ever receive it” 

Poor Rachel has become a victim of a government bureaucracy she can’t control.  It seems that everyone in the world has gotten their college acceptance letters, except for her.  So, of course, she assumes the worst.  “I have no idea what I’m doing,” Rachel cries to bestie Kurt, in the locker area, when she learns his good news about NYATA.  “Everyone has a plan, but me.”

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Well, Rachel . . . not everyone . . .

So, of course, Rachel goes to find Finn.

He gets an orchestra to accompany the two of them, as they sing, “Can’t Stop Loving You.”  It’s a gorgeous rendition . . . if you are a big fan of mushy ballads.  Rachel sure seems genuinely in love, when she finally gives Finn the “yes,” he’s been waiting for since last week.

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But, as much as I believe Rachel loves Finn, I can’t help but think that — at least, at this very moment — she sees marrying him as a sort of consolation prize.

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And when Rachel DOES ultimately receive her “Finalist” letter from NYATA . . .

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 . . .  that deer-in-headlights look she gets in her eyes, when Kurt asks if she told Finn the good news, definitely seems to confirm my suspicions . . .

“Gulp.” 

Because singing loudly at somebody, is the perfect revenge for their RAPING OF YOUR EYEBALL .  . .

So, I bet you were wondering what Santana ended up doing with that CRIMINAL CONFESSION of Sebastians.  As it turns out, she GAVE IT BACK TO HIM.

That’s right, kiddies.  Apparently, New Directions idea of “taking the high road,” means avenging their friend’s injury by PERFORMING FOR THEIR ENEMIES  . . .

My sentiments exactly!  But perform they do, to the tune of Michael Jackson’s “Black and White,” complete with the video’s trademark Scary Face Morphing Technology.  The rest of the Warblers (except for Sebastian) join in the fun.  Of course, Blaine can’t play along . . . you know . . . BECAUSE HE ONLY HAS ONE EYE!!!!!!

But hey, it’s all about “teaching the villain” a lesson in goodness, right?

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Yeah, I didn’t think so, either . . . So, that was “Michael,” in a nutshell.  Did you likey?

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

Happiness is a Warm Chair – Looking Back at the Top Ten Chuck and Blair Moments from Season 5, Part 1

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Greetings, Upper East Siders!  So far, this season of Gossip Girl has been quite the bittersweet one for us Chair fans.  On the sweet side, we have Chuck and Blair displaying just as much love, adoration, and passion for one another, as they always have.  Each time they were together on screen was more electric than the one before.

Even when Chuck and Blair were apart from one another, it was clear that they were never far from one another’s minds.  Donut Dan Humphrey, perhaps, said it best, when he said of the pair, “You two have some strange force field effect on eachother.  Physicists should study it.”

All of the amazing things Chuck did this season . . . from adopting Monkey, to becoming active in local charities,  to sacrificing his own happiness for Blair’s . . . Donut Dan’s . . . and even that cyborg asshat, Louis-bot’s . . . he did them out of love for, and in honor of, one very special Queen B.

As for Blair, her continued doubts about her relationship with Louis, and whether the so-called fairytale ending she had finally earned was all it was cracked up to be, all seemed to lead her back to Chuck Bass.    It was his face, she sought out, at the end of nearly every episode.  It was his voice she needed to hear on the phone.  It was his hand, she wanted to caress her face, when all hope seemed lost . . .

What’s amazing about seeing Chuck and Blair together in Season 5, is how much they both have grown, both as individuals, and as a couple, since Gossip Girl premiered, back in 2007.  Both have had their hearts broken, more times than they can count.  Their experiences have made them somewhat less impulsive than they used to be, and less willing to give their hearts to others, out of fear that their love won’t be returned.

But these same experiences have also made them kinder, gentler, more selfless people.  Chuck and Blair started the series as headstrong, manipulative, somewhat selfish individuals.  Now, they are adults, who are ready to enter into a mature, honest, and intimate relationship with one another, and maybe even start a family together.

It sounds pretty perfect, right?  But, alas, all was not well in Chair-land this season.  First of all, we were saddled with that marble-mouthed, personality-free cyborg, Louis-bot . . . the only character capable of uniting Chair and Dair fans in mutual hatred.

He ate up precious Chair screen time with his inexplicable verbiage, lame schemes, and ridiculous 8:54 apologies for whatever odious thing he did to Blair that week.

Due to his presence, and the existence of his evil spawn inside Blair’s belly, Chuck and Blair were frustratingly tentative, throughout most of the season, about sharing their true feelings for one another.

And when Chuck and Blair finally did receive their much awaited, and deserved happy reunion, it was ripped away by a nearly fatal car crash.  Thus proving that these two long-time lovers are just as starcrossed, as they always have been.

I guess some things never change . . .

But the holidays are not a time for regrets, complaints, or petty accusations.   They are time for spreading happiness, limo sex and for giving and receiving love and bar-mitzvah sex.

And in that spirit, I proudly present to you, my dear Chair fans, my picks of the Top Ten Chuck and Blair Moments from Season 5, so far  . . .

10. “I wanted to move on, to give you the happy life that you deserve.”

Episode: “Rhodes to Perdition” – 5 x 9

Setting the Scene:

Blair’s realization that Chuck has returned the engagement ring he once bought for her, causes our Queen B to have some shocking and disheartening revelations about herself, and her relationship with Chuck . . .

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Potent Quotables:

CHUCK: “Dr. Kirby thought you were upset I returned the ring.”

BLAIR: “He has too many PhD’s.  They cancel each other out and make him a moron.”

CHUCK: “I returned it because you asked me to let you go . . . I wanted to move on to give you the happy life you deserve.”

BLAIR: “All this time, I’ve blamed you for pulling me into the dark.  But I was wrong.  It was me who brought out your dark side.  And now that I’m with Louis, I’ve done the same to him.  I’m sorry.”

Why it made the list:

It is quite fitting that Blair begins this scene tasting cakes, as pastries have always played a major role in Chuck’s and Blair’s sex life . . .

Blair claims that she can’t enjoy her cakes because Louis-bot has lost his sweetness. How do you lose something you never had?  However, I can’t help but wonder whether it is her fear that she has lost Chuck’s love for good that is messing with her appetite.  After all, he always did like to eat her pies!

It’s interesting how Blair initially tries to deflect the seriousness of the conversation through casual banter, and witty insults.  Conversation avoidance is typically Chuck’s forte.  But, in this instance, it is Chuck who demands a serious conversation between Blair and him.  He knows that Blair was hurt by his confession that he returned her ring, and feels more than a bit guilty about causing her pain.  But I also think a part of him is a teensy bit hopeful.  Deep down, Chuck likely recognizes that the reason Blair got so upset over the fact that Chuck returned the ring is that she is not over him.

I’m awed by Chuck’s maturity throughout this scene, and how honest he is with Blair about his feelings.  Chuck has no desire to manipulate Blair’s feelings for him, as he has done in the past.  He only wants her to be happy, even if that secretly makes him miserable.  Chuck knows that no matter how many rings he leaves on the doorstep of Harry Winston to get stolen by homeless people he will always love Blair, more than life itself.

But, at this point, Chuck believes that Blair can only be happy with Louis.  And so, he says what he needs to say, to ensure that happiness.  It’s the type of blatant self-sacrifice we will see from Chuck, again and again this season . . .

But Blair misconstrues Chuck’s words terribly, interpreting them in a way Chuck never imagined that she would.  She begins to blame herself for Chuck’s and Louis-bot’s foibles.  And the anguish on her face, is mirrored by Chuck, the moment he realizes he has unwittingly caused her to feel this way.  It’s a sad scene . . . one that represents just how star-crossed Chuck and Blair truly are.  But it also illustrates their unbreakable bond, and how invested these two individuals are in eachother’s feelings and emotions.

9. Those pesky match-making squirrels . . .

Episode: “Memoirs of an Invisible Dan” – 5 x 4

Setting the Scene:

Reunited for the first time, since Blair announced that she was pregnant with Louis-bot’s spawn, Chuck and Blair undoubtedly worry that things might be awkward between them.  So, Chuck’s best friend, Monkey, plots with a few Chair-shipping squirrels to help break the ice . . .

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Potent Quotables:

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BLAIR: “Since when do you bite your tongue?”

CHUCK: “I’m learning.”

BLAIR: “Isn’t Humphrey becoming quite the drama queen?”

CHUCK: “Isn’t that usually your role?”

BLAIR: “I prefer drama princess now.”

CHUCK:  “How are you, by the way?”

BLAIR:  “I’m OK.  Thanks for asking.”

CHUCK: “I’m sorry .  .  . squirrels.  Should we?”

Why it made the list:

With all the heartache and angsty moments these two have endured over the years,  it’s nice, every once in a while,  to see a light-hearted, dare I say, cute moment between them.  I remember watching the pregnancy reveal in 5 X 3, and wondering how Chuck and Blair would react to one another, when they saw eachother again.  Would they be cold?  Awkward?  Distant?

It was refreshing to see Chuck and Blair be so completely at ease with one another, despite the obvious subtext between them.  And I applauded the pair for being able to make, what could have been a terribly uncomfortable moment, oddly normal, filled as it was with easy jokes, friendly familiarity, witty familiarity, and, of course, mild flirting.  Already, Blair is starting to notice that Chuck has matured, in his staunch refusal to reveal Dan’s secret.  She’s clearly impressed with him  . . .

And yet, once again, as in the prior scene, it’s Chuck that brings the conversation to a deeper level.  He places an affectionate hand on Blair’s arm, as he asks her how she’s doing, with a look in his eyes that is a mixture of concerned and loving.  The pregnant and subconsciously maternal Blair, gently moves her hands toward her stomach,  before she replies, a subtle implication that she knows exactly to what he’s referring.

When Blair thanks Chuck for asking, on the surface, it’s a banal response, one that anyone would make, if someone asked them how they were doing.  But the look Blair gives Chuck when she says it, shows that she is expressing gratitude, not just for Chuck’s words, but that he has the courage to resume their relationship, and continue to support her, even though she is carrying another man’s child.  We’ll see that gratitude expressed again, in a more significant way, later on in the season.

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Everyone’s favorite guest star, Monkey, has been a secret Chair fan, ever since he comforted Chuck,  after his fateful encounter with Blair at the end of episode 3.  So, it is no surprise that the canine Bass is a little schemer, just like his owner.  It’s certainly no accident that he went after those squirrels, in such a way that Chuck would have to pull Blair close to him, in order to hold on to the leash, and keep his pregnant lover from falling on the concrete.

Thanks to Monkey, Chuck literally sweeps Blair off her feet, in such a way that the two are both smiling, blushing, and eye-goggling eachother, long after Monkey has been set back on the straight and narrow.  Chuck Bass is always so cool, calm, and collected.  This is why some of my favorite Chair scenes arise when Chuck seems to lose his composure.  The shy, and goofy way a red-faced Chuck mumbled a shy apology over the squirrels, warmed my heart,  because it shows just how smitten he still is with Blair, even after all these years.

Blair may have wanted Chuck to murder those butterflies in his stomach,  back in Season 1.  But here we are, four seasons later.  And they are clearly alive and well . . .

8. Blair and Chuck attend couple’s therapy

Episode: “Rhodes to Perdition” – 5 x 9

Setting the Scene:

In complete denial of the obvious-to-everyone-else-but-her fact that the reason her relationship with Louis-bot is failing so miserably, is that she is head-over-heels in love with Chuck, Blair tags along on one of Chuck’s therapy sessions.   While there, she hopes to unlock the mystery of why Chuck is so awesome, and Louis-bot is so awful . . .

Video:

Potent Quotables:

BLAIR: “I was a teenage bulimic and my father came out when I was fifteen.  This isn’t my first analysis.”

SHRINK: “Are you saying that you want your fiancé to be more like Chuck?”

BLAIR: “No!  More like the man Chuck’s become.  Like Louis used to be when Chuck was like Louis is now.”

SHRINK: “If you don’t mind me saying so, you seem confused.”

And later .  . .

CHUCK: “But I did let go of you, Blair . . . if you don’t believe me, call on Harry Winston.  The night of The Spectator launch, I left the engagement ring I bought you on the doorstep and walked away.”

Why it made the list:

At first, this scene seems as though it’s going to be played mainly for laughs.  Chuck, clearly aware of how patently ridiculous it is that his non-girlfriend has decided to attend therapy with him, teases and taunts Blair, by using most of his therapy time to wax poetic about Monkey’s self-pleasuring tendencies.  (Any hope of Monkey getting a love interest, next season, Josh Schwartz?)  And yet something tells me Chuck’s real therapy sessions are much more juicy, and decidedly Blair-centric.

From Chuck’s perspective, it’s interesting that he refrains for as long as possible from telling Blair about returning her ring, presumably because he knows it will hurt her feelings.  And yet, when he is finally goaded into revealing this pertinent information, he seems both surprised and cowed, by how much his confession affected her.  It’s almost as if, a part of Chuck believed that Blair wouldn’t care at all about the ring, because he doesn’t yet consider himself worthy of her love.

As for Blair, she never expected that Chuck’s transformation had anything to do with letting go of her.  And the mistaken realization that Chuck might truly be over her, devastates her in a way that she never expected.  Leighton Meester is spectacular in this scene.  Her body stiffens in shock, as her eyes well up with tears.  It’s almost as if she’s experienced the death of a loved one.  But what she’s really experiencing is what she believes to be the death of love.

Blair tries to act casual about this discovery, when she excuses herself.   But the way her voice cracks, as she escapes the room, says everything about what’s going on in her head and heart.  She’s not fooling anybody, least of all, herself . . .

7. “Do you think you could love another man’s child?”

Episode: “Riding in Town Cars with Boys” – 5 x 10

Setting the Scene:

Hiding away in Brooklyn, so that those nosy paparazzi won’t realize that her pregnant fingers are now too fat for her wedding ring, Blair struggles over why she can’t commit to her robot fiance.  Seeking closure or perhaps an opportunity to escape this sham of a marriage, Blair calls the one man, who can help her get in touch with her true emotions: Chuck Bass . . .

Video:

Potent Quotables:

BLAIR: “I need your advice.  It seems as you’ve found your way, I’ve lost mine.”

CHUCK: “I didn’t think Blair Waldorf could get lost.”

BLAIR: “Neither did I, but I’m so lost I wound up in Brooklyn.”

CHUCK: “There are worse places.  This isn’t something Humphrey can help you with?”

BLAIR:  “No . . . only you .  . . Do you think you could love another man’s child?”

CHUCK: “Why are you asking me this?”

BLAIR: “I’m paralyzed.  I can’t move.   I can’t breathe.  You have to help me.”

CHUCK: “I can’t make this decision for you, Blair.  You’re the one who has to live with it.”

BLAIR: “But, what’s the right choice, Chuck?”

CHUCK: “I can’t imagine it would be a mistake to marry the father of your child.  Right?”

Why it made the list:

What’s interesting about this scene, is that it takes place entirely over the telephone.  So much of Chuck’s and Blair’s relationship is conveyed through their body language, and facial expressions.  When they are face-to-face with one another, knowing what is truly in eachother’s hearts comes easily to Chuck and Blair.  It is second nature to them.

But while on the phone, Chuck and Blair cannot look in eachother’s eyes when they speak.  They can’t touch one another.  They can’t see how eachother or standing, or read the tears in eachother’s eyes, or the devastation in eachother’s posture.  And this causes them to have a miscommunication of tragically epic proportions.

However, as viewers, we get to see Chuck and Blair, as they engage in this conversation.  And this gives us the unique opportunity to read the subtext of their words, which they, themselves, cannot see.  For example, Blair’s voice, when she asks Chuck for help, and jokes about being in Brooklyn, is deceptively subtle, and lighthearted, though we know, from the way she is seated on the couch, that it is taking all her will, not to break down.

Chuck responds in an equally light-hearted fashion.  But the sad look in his eyes, when he speaks  shows fans how hard it is for him to carry on a casual conversation with someone he loves more than life itself, and yet knows he cannot have. When Blair asks Chuck if he could love another man’s child, we see how nervous she is . . . and how tentative.  This is incredibly hard for her.  We know what she wants Chuck’s answer to be, even if she’s not ready to admit that to herself.

As for Chuck, on one hand, his heart swells from hearing this question.  It is the one Chuck has secretly wanted Blair to ask him, ever since she told him she was pregnant back in Episode 3.  On the other hand, a part of him feels as though fate is playing a trick on him, as though it is too good to be true.  “Why are you asking me this?” He asks,  with just a hint of nervous accusation in his voice.

This is when Blair breaks, she admits to being paralyzed, and torn up by fear and indecision.  She needs Chuck to give her the permission to leave her marriage, and save her from herself.  Now, Chuck can clearly hear the anguish in Blair’s voice, and it hurts his heart.  It takes all his will not to hang up the phone, rush over to Brooklyn, take her in his arms, and never let go.  And, perhaps, if Chuck could look Blair in the eyes, and see his love mirrored back in her, that’s exactly what he would have done.

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But he doesn’t see her.  And a voice in his head is nagging him to keep his feelings to himself.  He doesn’t know yet, how much Blair still loves him.  He worries that she will resent him, if he takes her away from the father of her child.  So, he says what he thinks is the “right” thing to say .  . .  He gives her up.  Even though he has to bite his quivering lip, when he finishes speaking to keep from breaking down.

Now, Chuck and Blair are both more lost than before.  But, fortunately, not for long . . .

6. Blair tells Chuck she’s pregnant / helps him to feel again

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Episode: “The Jewel of Denial”  – 5 x 3

Setting the Scene:  

After sacrificing his own happiness, so Blair could marry Louis-bot, Chuck escaped to Los Angeles, hoping to lose himself in booze and beautiful women.  But the old tricks, don’t seem to work for Chuck now, as he finds himself shockingly devoid of the ability to experience any sort of human emotion.  He reacts by throwing himself into increasingly dangerous situations, hoping that the physical pain he suffers will somehow translate into an emotional  one.  But Chuck isn’t experiencing physical pain, either.

Chuck’s new bestie, Humpty Humphrey, has spent the entire episode, trying to get him to feel something.  However, in the end, only Blair Waldorf holds the key that unlocks Chuck’s heart . . .

Video:

Potent Quotables:

BLAIR: “I need to talk to you.”

CHUCK: “I thought we said everything we needed to say, last time we saw each other.”

BLAIR: “Chuck . . .”

CHUCK: “Is this another misguided attempt by Dan to get me to feel something?”

BLAIR: “I’m pregnant.  It’s Louis’.  I didn’t want you to find out from someone else, and wonder if the baby was yours.”

CHUCK: “That’s very considerate.”

BLAIR: “Yes . . . well . . . if I know anything about Chuck Bass, it’s that fatherhood isn’t part of the lifestyle.”

CHUCK: “You must have been very relieved when you realized you weren’t carrying my offspring.  It certainly would have derailed your fairytale.”

BLAIR: “This fairytale is complicated.”

CHUCK: “Blair, meet my dog, Monkey.”

BLAIR: “I saw Gossip Girl. I thought you got rid of him.”

CHUCK: “I just sent him to get fixed.  I thought it was the responsible thing to do.”

And later . . .

BLAIR: “There is a part of me that really wanted it to be yours.”

Why it made the list:

In the telephone scene, Chuck and Blair spoke volumes to one another.  But they could see one another, and, therefore, missed the painful emotions behind the words.  Conversely, in this scene, up until the very end, Chuck and Blair actually say very little to one another.  The conversation is polite, cordial, and even a bit cold.  If a conversation like this was done over the phone, it could have singlehandedly wrecked Chuck’s and Blair’s relationship.  But because Chuck and Blair can see one another, and know what eachother are feeling, during the conversation, it actually strengthens the bond between them.

When this scene first aired, it was the first time Leighton Meester and Ed Westwick had shared the screen together, since the season 4 finale.  Chair fans waited with baited breath for the couple to reunite, over the long summer hiatus, and through the first two epsiodes of the season.  It made their actual reunion that much more epic, emotionally-charged, and meaningful than it perhaps would be, otherwise.

When Chuck first lays eyes on Blair,  his eyes widen, as if he doesn’t quite believe she’s really there.  Though they’ve spent months apart, it is quite clear, in that first moment that Chuck’s and Blair’s love for one another hasn’t diminished.  “I thought we said everything we needed to say the last time we saw eachother,” Chuck says, coldly.

He’s protecting his heart.  He doesn’t want Blair to hurt him again.  Blair’s utterance of his name in response, is a plea, that he take down his walls, and open his heart, so that he can really hear what she has to say.  It melts him a bit.  But his guard is still up.  He still thinks her presence in his apartment is too good to be true.  He thinks it’s a ploy or a trick of some sort.

But that all changes, when Blair admits tearfully that she’s pregnant, and that the baby is not his.  He’s clearly heartbroken, as is she.  They know how one another are feeling.  And yet, they still exchange cold pleasantries, maintaining the falsehood that Blair still wants her fantasy life with Louis-bot, and Chuck still wants to live life as a perpetual bachelor.

Once again, this conversation is in danger of ending very badly for Chair.  But in comes Number One Chair fan, Monkey, at just the right moment.  His presence makes Blair realize how much Chuck has changed, and it softens both of their hearts.  Because, really, who could be angry, in the presence of an adorable dog.  I think it’s the presence of Monkey, that enables Blair to make the heartfelt admission that ensures the future of Chair, “There’s a part of me that really wanted it to be yours.”

Clearly, Chuck feels the same way.  You can see it in his eyes.  But he says nothing.  Instead, he bids Blair a polite goodbye,  and waits for her to depart, so that he can finally breakdown.  Blair’s confession has awakened Chuck’s ability to experience pain and emotion.  She’s saved his soul, and broken his heart, in a single moment.  Fortunately, Monkey is there to pick up the pieces . . .

5. “You are the lightest thing that ever came into my life.”

Episode: “Rhodes to Perdition” – 5 x 9

Setting the Scene:

Having learned that Chuck’s shocking transformation took place, only after he committed to giving her up for the greater good, Blair has come to the devastating conclusion that she brings out the evil in the men that she dates.  Knowing this to be patently false, and unable to allow the woman he loves to be so down on herself, Chuck goes to Blair’s bedroom to comfort her . . . .

Video:

Potent Quotables:

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CHUCK: “You never pulled me to the dark side, Blair.”

BLAIR: “I appreciate you trying to make me feel better.  But I have my answer.”

CHUCK: “You were the lightest thing that ever came into my life.”

BLAIR: “Then, why did it take letting me go to find this whole new side of yourself?”

CHUCK: “I only turned dark and desperate, because I was afraid of losing you.  You’re love kept me alive.”

BLAIR:  “But you survived without me.”

CHUCK: “The worst thing happened, and I didn’t die.  But I had to find a way to move on with my life.  I only want you to be happy.  I’m just sorry it couldn’t be with me.”

And later . . .

CHUCK: “I’m not the groom.”

Why it made the list:

Many times throughout the series,  we’ve seen Blair comfort Chuck, when he needed a hug, a kind word, and a gentle self esteem boost.  And though Chuck clearly cares for Blair deeply, and can can be turned into puddy at the sight of her tears, it’s rare that we see him comfort her.  It’s not that Chuck isn’t sensitive to Blair needs, or that he doesn’t want to make her feel better, I think he just worries that he doesn’t have the right words to do it.  Perhaps, that will change, now that the New and Improved Chuck has come to the Upper East Side . . .

It was heartwarming to see Chuck helping Blair through her devastation, by not letting her go on believing that she was to blame for his darkness or Louis’.  In this instance, he knew exactly what to say to cure Blair of her misconception.  And the best part about it, was that it was all true.  Chuck is a much better person, for having known and loved Blair.  She believed in him, supported him, and helped him to become the man he is today.  And if Louis-bot wasn’t such an asshat, she’d probably make him a better person too.

It’s not at all surprising that a guest in the home, walking into the situation would assume that Chuck was the groom-to-be.  Chuck’s and Blair’s romantic connection to one another is apparent even to strangers.  That said, Chuck’s utter dejection when he informed the baker that he wasn’t the groom broke my heart . . .

4. Chuck and Blair play dress-up, and  things get RED HOT.

Episode: “The Big Sleep No More”  – 5 x 7

Setting the Scene:

Blair just can’t seem to get Chuck’s hot body epic apology out of her mind.  Unable to accept the fact that she’s obviously still in love with him, Blair tries to convince herself that Chuck is only pretending to be a better man, so that she will doubt her dull relationship with the Robot Prince.  It’s working!  Desperate for answers, Blair crashes Chuck’s Sleep No More charity event, and attempts to seduce him.  By doing so, she hopes to prove, once and for all, that Chuck Bass is the same sexpot he’s always been.  But the problem with seduction is that it is often a two-way street, which begs the question, “Who’s seducing who?”

Video:

Potent Quotables:

BLAIR: “Of course, you knew it was me.  Was it my perfume?”

And later . . .

BLAIR: “It looks like we’re stuck . . . together . . . alone . . . amongst the masked and anonymous.  Do you remember when we used to play dress-up?”

CHUCK: “How could I forget?  Though, I didn’t think this was your kind of entertainment anymore.”

BLAIR: “At least I know I’m safe, locked in here with the New Chuck Bass, who has none of his old urges.  I have to admit, I had a hard time believing you, at first.  But now I see . . . the therapy, the apology . . . you really have changed.  As warm as it’s getting in here, I can sweep the hair from the nape of my neck, without setting you off.   It’s such a relief to be able to let my guard down.  Oh look!  They even have Red Hots.  You never could resist.  Do you want one?

CHUCK: “No . . . thank you.”

BLAIR: “No one is looking.  Even the new Chuck Bass must have some of his darkest desires.  Just a taste.”

(They kiss.)

BLAIR: (slaps Chuck) “I knew you were still the same Chuck.  You thought by one fake apology, and a few charitable acts, you could get me to question, all the reasons I’m with Louis.  But I was right.  You are incapable of change.”

CHUCK: “It seems you know me too well.”

BLAIR: “And now, thanks to you, I am more certain than ever, that I chose the right man.  Goodbye.”

CHUCK: “Goodbye, Blair.”

Why it made the list:

I suspect some readers might be surprised at how high up on the list this scene appears.  After all, one could argue that everything that happens here is an act.  Blair is seducing Chuck, because she wants to prove that he is still the Bad Bass she knows and loves.  She thinks this will make her feel comfortable entering into her boring relationship with that Gibberish Speaking Cyborg.  And, though we don’t know it, at the time the scene first airs, Chuck is playing a part as well.  He’s pretending to be seduced by Blair, as a favor to Dorota, who claims it will help Blair find happiness with Louis-bot.

On the other hand, how much of this scene really was acting, and how much was real?  It’s fun to try and guess.  After all, this certainly isn’t the first time Chuck and Blair have used their sexual powers of manipulation on one another.  (Remember the “I love you” wars, of Season 2?)

Sexual chemistry simply can’t be faked.  And Chuck and Blair have it in spades, in this scene.  Chuck certainly seems hot and bothered by Blair, as she dances around him, rubbing her neck, filling his nose with her scent, and taunting him with red hots.  His breathing is labored when he speaks to her, and his voice is decidedly husky.  As for Blair, there’s something about the way she stares at Chuck’s mouth that seems to suggest that the seduction act is working it’s magic on her, just as much as it’s working on him.

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And the kiss, it seems to take Blair by surprise, even though she’s been working toward it all this time.  It’s long.  It’s passionate.  It’s red hot.  And both Chuck and Blair find themselves carried away by it’s intensity, until it becomes all-too-apparent that neither of them are acting, anymore.

Even the slap that follows, and the heated argument that occurs between the pair,  seems charged with sexual energy.  Watch their body language in the scene . . . the way their faces are flushed, the way their eyes dilate, when they speak to one another.  After Blair storms, off, Chuck seems a bit lightheaded, like someone waking up from a trance.  He’s not entirely sure what just transpired, but he knows he kind of liked it . . .

Then you remember that Chuck did all this to ensure Blair’s happiness with another man, and it makes you fall in love with him all over again . . .

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3. Chuck apologizes to Blair for  . . . well . . . EVERYTHING.

Episode: “I am Number Nine” – 5 x 6

Setting the Scene:

While on his Path to Redemption, Chuck decides to apologize to Blair and Chair fans for some of the less-than-loveable things he’s done to her, during the course of their roller coaster relationship . . .

Video:

Potent Quotables:

CHUCK: “I’m not here to apologize about what happened tonight.

BLAIR: “What are you here to apologize for?”

CHUCK: “Everything else.  I’m sorry for losing my temper the night you told me that Louis proposed to you.   I’m sorry for not waiting longer at the Empire State Building.  I’m sorry for treating you like property.  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I loved you, when I knew I did.  Most of all, I’m sorry that I gave up on us, when you never did.”

BLAIR: “Thank you.  I hope never giving up on people isn’t going to be my downfall.”

CHUCK: “It’s why you are going to be an amazing mother.  You are always there for the people who you love, even when they don’t deserve it.”

BLAIR: “You know, that’s never going to change.”

CHUCK: “It’s OK, if it has to.  Starting tonight, I’m going to take care of myself.”

Why it made the list:

This scene was not just a love letter from Chuck to Blair.  It was also a love letter from the GG writers to Chair fans.  On the surface, this was simply Chuck showing Blair just how much he had changed and grown up, over the years.  By admitting, and coming to terms with all the ways in which he has hurt Blair, throughout their relationship, Chuck is saying to the woman he loved, “I am going to change for you.  I am willing to accept responsibility for what I have done wrong.  And I am ready to become a man, who is worthy of your love, even if you cannot bring yourself to love me in return.”

But peel back the layers, and you can also hear the writers saying to you: “Thank you for sticking by this ship, through thick and thin, even when other fans called you crazy for doing so.  We know this couple has accumulated a lot of heavy baggage, over the years.  And we aren’t going to insult your intelligence, by sweeping it under the carpet, and pretending that none of it ever happened.  Instead, we are going to have Chuck own up to his wrongs, and try to make amends for them, not just by his words, but also through his actions.  In short, we are going to reward you, Chair fans.  Because, just like Blair, you don’t give up on the things and people you love.”

With the apologies out of the way, Chuck and Blair actually get to share a really sweet moment, where Chuck illustrates his admiration for Blair’s unflinching ability to stick by people she cares deeply about, even when they disappoint her.  Like Chuck, we know that this will not be Blair’s downfall, but will ultimately be her salvation.  It will keep her strong during the tough road ahead.  And the fact that Chuck told Blair that she would be a great mother, at the very moment, when she needed to hear it most . . . well, if that doesn’t warm you’re heart, you’re a soulless vampire . . .

.  . . or, possibly an evil cyborg.

2. Chuck’s and Blair’s Tragic Limo Town Car Reunion

Episode: “Riding in Town Cars with Boys” – 5 x 10

Setting the Scene:

In this epic mid-season finale episode, Chuck and Blair have finally come clean to one another about their feelings for eachother.  Now, along with Blair’s unborn child, they are finally ready for their much-deserved Happily Ever After.  Unfortunately, those pernicious paparazzi have other ideas . . .

Video:

Potent Quotables:

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BLAIR: “I have to tell Louis, face-to-face that the wedding is off.  He deserves at least that.”

CHUCK: “Are you sure you want to do this?  I mean . . . a prince . . . a fairytale wedding.  This is all you ever wanted.”

BLAIR: “No!  You’re all I ever wanted.  I love you.  I love every part of you.  I couldn’t tell Louis that he would never lose me, because it wasn’t true.  You’re the one I never want to leave.”

And later . . .

BLAIR: “We can go anywhere.  Switzerland has impeccable schools, or maybe Tokyo.   They have opening ceremony, and great test scores.”

CHUCK: “Blair, we don’t need to go anywhere.  We can raise this baby right here.”

Why it made the list:

I have such mixed emotions about this scene.  On one hand, never have I seen such a joyous reunion between two people, as the one between Chuck and Blair.  I mean, seriously, Chair fans.  When have you ever seen Chuck so adorably giddy?

He’s like a little child, practically bursting out of his seat with happiness.  His face is flushed.  He’s breathing heavy.  He’s babbling.  His eyes are wide with excitement.  He keeps touching Blair’s face, as if he can’t quite believe she’s real.  We’ve waited five seasons to see Chuck like this.  And it’s hard not to smile, watching him, even though we all know tragedy is about to strike.

As for Blair, it’s heartening to hear her finally verbalize her feelings for Chuck . . . the one’s we always knew she felt,  but could never quite bring herself to say.  Up until this point, this season, it’s been Chuck always making the heartfelt speeches, the epic apologies, the eloquent declarations of love.  Now it’s Blair telling Chuck she never wants to leave him, planning for their future, talking about starting their family.

In an alternate universe, Chuck and Blair didn’t trade taxi’s with Nate that night.  They avoided the paparazzi, arrived back in the Upper East Side, safe and sound, made sweet love in Blair’s bed, and woke up early the next morning to shop for baby furniture.  But it our universe, Blair finally noticed the paparazzi stalking her car.  And in that moment, the fantasy was shattered.

What’s in store for Chuck and Blair now, remains to be seen . . . But no matter what happens, we can always look back at this moment, and remember them as a young couple, deeply in love, and overjoyed at the prospect of spending the rest of their lives together . . .

And now, for the moment you’ve all been waiting for . . . The Number One Chuck and Blair Moment from Season 5, so far is . . . (drumroll please) . . .

1. “I’m going to love your baby as much as I love you.”

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Episode: “Riding in Town Cars with Boys” – 5 x 10

Setting the Scene:

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After their devastating telephone conversation, during which Chuck could not bring himself to tell Blair to ditch that bastard, Louis-bot, for his sexy self, Blair is completely inconsolate, fearing that she will never be happy again.  But Matchmaker Dan has other plans for his friend and the unrequited object of his affection.  And those plans involve the one man with the power to give Blair the happiness she deserves . . .

Video:

Potent Quotables:

CHUCK: “Dan arranged it for us.”

BLAIR: “What us?”

CHUCK: “The ‘us’ I should have fought for, when you called.  The ‘us’ that is not just you and me, but you, me, and your baby.”

BLAIR: “Then, why did you tell me to choose Louis?”

CHUCK: “I thought it was selfish, if I was the one to tell you to break up your family.”

BLAIR: “That was the moment you chose  not to be selfish?”

CHUCK: “Timing has never been our strong suit.  I had it all wrong.  Just because Louis is the father of your baby does not mean you should be with him.  You should be with me.”

BLAIR: “Why?”

CHUCK: “Because I’m going to love your baby as much as I love you.”

And later . . .

BLAIR: “I’ve gotta get out of here.”

CHUCK: “Wait .  . . I want to come with you.”

Why it made the list:

This scene truly embodies Chuck’s and Blair’s relationship.  It’s as if everything we’ve endured with this couple, over the past five seasons — all the breakups, and makeups, the accusations, and the insinuations, the beautiful speeches, and the smoking hot sexual encounters — has culminated in this single moment.  Finally, Chuck is ready to fight for Blair, as he promised he would, during his apology to her in “I Am Number Nine.”  Finally, he is saying the things he’s known in his heart, since he fell in love with her, back in high school . . . the things he’s always wanted to say, but never had the courage to do so.

After all his soul searching, Chuck finally feels worthy, not just of Blair, but of Blair’s child, which he will love as if its his own, because it’s part of the woman he loves more than anything in the world.  It’s a more honest, mature, and heartfelt, Chuck, then we’ve ever seen before.  And it’s this Chuck that takes Blair’s breath away, by saying things to her, that she’s never admitted to herself, that she’s always wanted to hear.

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She moves in closer to him, clutching her unborn child, and, in that moment, they cease to be indviduals, and become a unit . . . a family.  The fact that Chuck doesn’t want to leave Blair’s side, even though he knows this might make them a more likely target for the paparazzi, is both romantic, and symbolic of this union.  Chuck spent so much of these past two seasons apart from Blair.  And he doesn’t want to be separated from her, for another minute.

If only the episode ended here, we could sleep better at night, knowing, for certain, that Chuck, Blair, and Blair’s baby lived happily ever after.  And though that wasn’t in the cards for our favorite Upper East Side Couple, the fact that a perfect scene like this exists, reminds us Chair fans, that Chuck and Blair are meant to be.  They’ve endured hardships, heartbreak, evil cyborgs, bland prostitutes, and so much worse, but it never shook the solid, unbreakable foundation of their love for one another.  And that gives us hope for, and certainty in their future . . . together.

You know you love them!  XOXO!

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

CinderWaldorf and Chuck Bashed – A Recap of Gossip Girl’s ‘The Princesses and the Frog”

SERENA:  “Happy Character Assassination Day, Chuck!”

CHUCK:  “Oh, wow!  Today is Character Assassination Day.  I totally forgot.  Thanks for reminding me.  How are you going to spend it, Serena?”

SERENA:  “I’m going to pretend to be Blair’s friend to her face, while TOTALLY humiliating her, and ruining her shot at royalty, behind her back . . . all because she had the audacity to share a fake kiss with this guy I dumped . . . even though her and that guy claim they are only friends, and Blair is dating someone COMPLETELY DIFFERENT now!”

CHUCK: “Wow.  That’s good!  I hate you already.”

SERENA: “I know, right?  How are YOU going to celebrate?”

CHUCK:  “I’m considering getting wasted,  pushing Blair into a wall, and punching my hand through a glass window, so glass gets in her cheek, thereby, emotionally and physically scarring her for life!”

SERENA:  “Dammit Chuck, you are so much better at this than I am!”

*Sigh*  Oh, Chuck Bass!  I had such high hopes for you, in the beginning of the episode . . . you with your sexy perpetual 5 o’clock shadow, you’re gravelly “I just ate a pack of cigarettes” voice, and your 3-Day Diet of Bourbon, Self-Pity and Tears!

All you had to do was stay in bed a few more days, and WAIT!  Wait for Blair to take pity on your self-destructive soul, and come barging into your apartment, with her tough love, and a heavy duty bottle of disinfectant to get rid of the alcoholic stink.  All you had to do was shed a few tears, and milk the Vulnerability Card for a few exta moments, and THIS could have been you again . . .

 . . . and THAT would have inevitably led to THIS . . .

But NOOOOOO!  The writers You had to go and F*&K UP SO ROYALLY that your fandom is now literally in tatters.  Emotional and physical abuse is simply not something even the staunchest Chair Fan can condone. 

It’s funny, as a The Vampire Diaries fan, in my recap for THAT show last week, I wondered briefly whether a Delena fan (Damon and Elena) had pissed in the writers’ Cheerios, to cause them take a particularly harsh narrative turn with the male character in that prospective couple.  Well, I’m now wondering whether a Chair fan BLEW UP THOSE CHEERIOS WITH AN M-80 to deserve THIS turn of events . . .

“Don’t . . . mess . . . with . . . my .  . . Cheerios.”

But . . . ummmm . . . other than that it was a great episode!  (See?  Trying to stay positive here . . .)  On to the recap!

“I’ve Got a Royal Boyfriend, and you DON’T.  (Nah-nah, nah-nah, nah-nah)”

BLAIR:  “Louis, don’t you think we are taking this whole Relationship Thing a bit too fast?  I mean, I really hardly know you.  And you haven’t even been signed as a series regular yet.”

LOUIS:  (in adorable, but almost incomprehensible, French accent)  “Of course, not Claire!  I love you, more than life itself.  And when you know in your heart you love someone that much, why take things slow?”

BLAIR:  “Um . . . my name is BLAIR.”

LOUIS: “Really?  Oops.”

After a night spent making out under the romantic lights of papparazzi flashbulbs, Blair and Louis continue their public courtship, by spending their afternoons and evenings doing things that make Blair look more “princess-esque” (like hanging out in sports bars, and acting, as Blair says, “pious”) . . .

“Take that, Kate Middleton!”

They then spend their mornings in bed, being nauseatingly sweet to one another.  (Seriously, if I have to hear Blair say, “LOUIIIIIIIIIEEEEE” one more time this season, I think I’m going to throw my stilettos at the television screen!)

Good job, Louis!  Kiss her and shut her up!

Roommate Serena grins and bears this.  But you can tell from the evil glint in her eye, that she wishes to chop Blair up into tiny bite-sized pieces, for having the GALL to steal her precious spotlight away, for even a single episode.

“I’ll get you My Pretty . . . and your little Guest Star Love Interest TOO!  Mwah-ha-ha!”

Later we learn just how far Serena is willing to go to get revenge on Blair, when the EEEEEVVVVILLLL Princess Sophie barges in on one of Louis’ and Blair’s tete-a-tetes to announce that Louis is . . . ALREADY ENGAGED!

“LOUIS!  You stop having fun, this INSTANT!  Don’t you know royal people are genetically predisposed to never have a good time!  Look at me!  The last time I smiled I was two-months old.  And that was only because I had gas.”

After her outburst, Princess Bitchy calls Serena on the phone to thank her for the tip.  FOR SHAME, SERENA!

“So . . . now that I’ve helped you out with your son.  Do you think you could set me up with Prince Harry?  Now THERE’S a royal who LIKES TO PARTY!”

Princess Sophie Reads Gossip Girl? 

Later Louis visits Blair’s house to apologize about the whole “Being Engaged” thing.  As it turns out, Princess Sophie wasn’t being entirely honest.  You see, Louis isn’t engaged YET, but he has to be engaged BY TOMORROW. 

OK . . . so remember how, in Cinderella, the Prince threw a Royal Ball, and invited all the “eligible ladies” in the land, so that he could pick which princess to marry?

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Well, apparently, wherever Prince Louis is from (I think they said Monaco?) that ritual is actually not Total Bullsh*t.  It REALLY HAPPENS!  Go figure!

But Louis doesn’t want any of these Ugly Stepsister So-Called Princesses!  He wants Blair!  Now, all Blair has  to do is convince her Evil Stepmother Princess Sophie to let her attend the Royal Ball.  Once THAT happens, Blair is as good as engaged, herself! 

There’s just one problem . . .

As it turns out the Wicked Witch of the West (Wait . . . wrong story) one Not Particularly Ugly Stepsister has yet ANOTHER trick up her sleeve to sabotage Blair’s Big Day.  By the time Blair arrives for her interview with Princess Sophie, the latter already has at her disposal a full printed dossier on Poor Miss Waldorf, care of Gossip Girl and some Biatch Named Serena . . .

“Oh, HELL TO THE NO!”

In a surprisingly amusing scene, Princess Sophie proceeds to detail ALL of Blair Waldorf’s best hits from FOUR Seasons Gossip Girl.  Some of the highlights include: dating a Lord who was having an affair with his own STEPMOTHER  (Not really Blair’s fault.) . . .

EWWWWWW!

. . .  having a pregnancy scare  (COME ON!  Who hasn’t had one of THOSE?), being traded for a hotel (also not exactly her fault) . . .

. . . and dancing at a Burlesque Club . . .

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Come on, now!  THAT was awesome!

But as Eric van der Woodsen says to Serena, “Only Blair Waldorf can do Blair Waldorf.”  So, of course, Blair deftly turns the situation on its head, arguing to Princess Sophie that her lifetime of public humiliation is actually a GOOD THING!

Huh?

After all, with Gossip Girl systematically pulling all the skeletons out of Blair’s closet, since she was fourteen, at least the Royal Family knows the Queen B has nothing else to hide, right?  Or DOES SHE?

Nevertheless, Blair’s eloquent argument impresses Princess Sophie enough to earn her an invitation to the Prince’s Ball.  As her date to the event, Blair chooses to invite so-called Bestie Serena, even though the latter, as we know, has been pretty much pooping on Blair’s Joy, throughout the entire episode.

On the surface, Blair’s decision to invite Serena to the Ball seems like the Stupidest Idea Ever.  On the other hand, you know what they say, “Keep your friends close, and your frenemies closer . . .”

BLAIR:   “Is there a knife in my dress?”

SERENA:  “Not in the front.  Turn around.  Let me see the back.”

Speaking of Blonde Sociopaths . . .

Charlie Defeats Vanessa, Fans Cheer (But then become extremely frightened . . )

*sings*  “Nah-nah, nah-nah, nah-nah, nah-nah, hey, hey, hey GOODBYE!”

Did I not call it, about Charlie being a TOTAL WACKADOO?  I believe I did!  And yet, as much as I don’t like Charlie, I have to give the character at least SOME credit for efficiently disposing of a character I hate EVEN MORE!  Of course, I am talking about the sniveling, conniving, yet still surprisingly dull, MANESSA!

Rufus Humphrey, an aging has-been rocker from the early 90’s, knows a thing or two about Creepy Groupies . . . the kind that cut out tufts of your hair, while you are sleeping, and use them to make a DOLL / Sex Toy . . .

“What can I say?  Ladies love Rufus H!”

All Rufus has to do is take ONE look at the Overly Eager-to-Please Charlie, and he just knows his son is in for some SERIOUS TROUBLE!

Humpty Humphrey sat on a wall.  Humpty Humphrey had a great fall.  (Because Charlie pushed him.)

Dan (being Dan) COMPLETELY IGNORES his father’s warnings, and continues dragging Charlie around to all his classes, like his personal pet.  But when Charlie, after spending an HOUR gushing over how FASCINATING Dan’s life is (OK, now we KNOW she’s nuts!), plants a big wet kiss on him, it finally occurs to Humphrey that he’s got a potential Fatal Attraction on his hands . . .

 Charlie . . . in about 20 years.

But before Dan can have the “We can never be more than friends, because I think you are a psychotic raving lunatic,” talk with Charlie, someone ELSE intercepts her first . . .

Apparently, Manessa is leaving the show NYC to go “study abroad for a semester.”  (WAIT . . . does that mean she’s ACTUALLY GONE?)

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But before she goes, she wants to “make sure Dan is safe.”  (OK . . . seriously, Vanessa?  The only person Dan needs protection from is YOU and, maybe, Georgina Sparks .  . . and, of course, Charlie.)  So, Vanessa finds Charlie at the bookstore, reading what can only be described as a Stalkers’ Handbook . . .

 . . . and offers to help her win Dan’s heart, so that Serena and Blair can’t.

When Dan does have “the talk” with Charlie, she plays it cool, claiming that she knows Dan’s still hung up on the other regular cast members of the show, and, therefore, “only likes him as a friend.”  (Famous last words, right?) 

“Friends can still f*&k, right?”

Dopey Dan is dimwitted enough to buy this, and invites Charlie to some “low-key” dinner party thing, that Rufus is throwing for a band that he hopes to work for as a producer.  OH . . . did I mention that Rufus, Perpetual House Boy / Ass Wiper of Lily is actually trying to get a JOB!

Honestly, that is the most shocking thing that happened in this episode.

Charlie offers to bake homemade pizzas for the dinner.  But when it comes time for the event, she has decked out the Humphrey’s Brooklyn Apartment like P Diddy’s White Party, and it’s SO NOT ROCKER CHIC APPROPRIATE for Rufus’ early 20-something rockers / potential employers . . .

“I was just going to order in McDonalds.”

Rufus politely excuses himself to take the band elsewhere.  Then Charlie starts boo hooing about how Vanessa told her to cater in the event, and was clearly trying to sabotage her, because she knew Charlie not-so secretly had a THANG for Dan.  Ever the sucker for a wounded puppy, Dan offers to tote Charlie along on her first Upper East Side Showdown.  But “brave” Charlie wants to do this one ALONE. 

“I’m going to go eat Vanessa’s insides now, and wear her ribcage as a hat.  But I’ll be back later, so we can play Jenga.”

As it turns out, VANESSA actually gave Charlie GOOD ADVICE (Who’d have thought?) as to how to impress Rufus’ prospective clients.  But Charlie (who clearly watches Gossip Girl) knew how easy it was to make people DESPISE Vanessa, and decided to use that information to make Dan feel sorry for her.  And we ALL KNOW that Dan only screws those people he feels sorry for . . .

Case in point . . .

Well, played Lunatic Charlie!  You’ve successfully disposed of Manessa, and are now well on your way to becoming Juliet 2.0 . . . Bravo!

Now, all you need is a Boring Brother in Jail, who has the hots for Serena . . .

Oh, by the way, Rufus got the JOB . . .

 . . . (not that anyone really cares).

Speaking of stories nobody really cares about . . .

Raina the Complain-a

“Why aren’t you interested in MY storyline, dammit?  BE INTERESTED (or, I assure you, the writers will draw it out for an ENTIRE SEASON, as punishment).” 

So, Raina is still searching for intel on her Mama.  And Nate, out of loyalty to Chuck, is still subtly trying to convince her to stop her search.   Raina reads Nate’s attitude as being “not supportive,” and begins withholding sex from Nate as a result.  And we all know how much Nate LOVES sex . . .  (Hint: He loves it almost as much as he loves the movie The Sound of Music.)

So, Nate’s been pressuring a perpetually Drunk Chuck to come clean to Raina about what his dad may, or may not, have done.  But Chuck doesn’t want to talk to Raina.  He’d much prefer to have sex with Blair drown his sorrows in booze, and contemplate giving up showering and shaving for Lent . . .

“If you wrung out my liver, there would probably be enough booze in their to serve an entire Irish Pub on St. Patty’s Day.”

Things go from bad to worse, when the P.I. Chuck hired to look into Raina’s mom’s death “miraculously” discovers a letter in Bart’s papers from the elder Mrs. Thorpe that says, “You know how much you mean to me, but I can’t do this anymore.”

Chuck, and everyone else on the show, immediately assumes that this letter somehow implicates Bart in Avery’s death, since it seems to indicate that they had an affair.  But, honestly, that’s just BULLSH*T!  That vague letter could have meant about 80 different things.  It could mean that Raina’s mom committed suicide.  It could mean that RUSSELL THORPE learned of the affair, and arranged to have his wife killed.   It could mean that Bart and Avery plotted to burn down the hotel for the insurance money, but Avery was having second thoughts, and was too late in trying to stop the fire.

I mean, COME ON, CHUCK BASS!  Of all people, I’d expect YOU to be a bit more creative here . . .

BLAIR would never jump to conclusions like this. . .

Anywhoo . . . Nate has this Big Ole Confrontation with Chuck, about how he has to tell Raina the truth, and blah, blah, blah.  Then he proceeds to add insult to injury, by telling Chuck ALL ABOUT Blair’s upcoming attendance at the Prince’s Ball.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, when Chuck tells Nate that “no one understands what [he and Blair] have, Nate replies that what they have is “not normal,” and that Blair is “better off with the French GUY!”

“You just bought yourself a one-way ticket to an ass-kicking, BOY!”

Nate then runs and tells Raina everything told Chuck told him, which causes Raina to basically go APESH*T on Nate’s ass . . .

“Is this because you’re on your period?”

Like a petulant four-year old in need of a nap, Raina stamps her foot a few times, and issues Nate an ultimatum:  “ME or CHUCK!”

So, Nate leaves . . .  (Wouldn’t you?)

Meanwhile, Chuck puts on a new suit, shaves, and hops into a limo, an Engagement Ring in hand.  He is headed to the Prince’s Ball, determined to win back his Queen B . . .

Of course, this would be a WHOLE lot more promising and romantic for us Chair fans, if Chuck wasn’t so OBVIOUSLY in Drunk and Destructive Bass Mode . . .

You Peed on My Fairytale!

“Psst . . . Dorota, you don’t have to feed me my lines like this.  That’s what the teleprompter is for.”

After running through some Information about Royal People Flashcards with Dorota, and receiving a very expensive (but oddly Tinkerbell-esque) ballgown from Louis . . .

 . . . Blair heads to the ball with a Traitorous Serena, by her side . . .

“Try not to trip on the trail of banana peels I keep dropping in front of your feet, M-Kay?”

At least, initially, Blair is the Belle of the Ball, wowing the crowd with her beauty, social graces, and ridiculous amounts of Flashcard-Memorized Royal Knowledge . . .

“How’s your great-great-great-great Grandfather, King Charles III doing . . . Still dead?  So, sorry to hear about that.”

Watching Blair happily traverse the crowd, and hearing Louis gush over how wonderful she is, Serena begins to feel a bit guilty about being such a Heinous Poopyhead to her so-called friend the entire episode.  And it is for this reason, that when Drunk Chuck crashes the party, Serena tries in vain to stop him.  But Chuck will NOT be stopped.  He approaches Princess Sophie first, hitting on her, shamelessly, and announcing himself as “Chuck Bass . . . the love of [Blair’s] life.”

Chuck then takes things one step further, noting that Marie Antoinette was always Blair’s favorite role to play, but that HE was always the one eating her cake . . .

Oh, yeah!  They went there!

Chuck then drunkenly confronts Blair, and makes a TOTAL scene in front of all the royals, knocking over a tray of food in his wake.  Security ends up having to drag him out of the party.  A tearful Blair makes a heartfelt apology to the Royals (“I’m so ashamed and sorry, my friends and I caused any trouble”) before dashing out of the party herself.

Princess Sophie is NOT amused, “End it now,” she stage whispers in Louis’ ear . . .

“It’s strange but I suddenly find myself very in the mood for pie.”

A Decent Proposal

“Where’s my glass slipper, dammit?  Engagement rings are SO this century!”

Back at the apartment, Blair confides her humiliation over recent events to Serena, who makes the Total Bad Friend move (kind of like she’s been doing all episode), by basically telling Blair that what happened was no big deal, because she’s going to end up with Chuck, anyway.

Well, look who finally decided to become a Chair Fan . . .

Blair then FINALLY confronts Serena about her many attempts to sabotage Blair’s chance at royalty.  The Wounded Queen B claims that this is the first time in a long time that she is truly happy with her life. She notes that Louis makes her feel things she had only felt before with Chuck. 

Little does Blair know that SOMEONE is listening in on her conversation . . .

Later, Louis confronts Blair and tells her that he wants her to experience joy in her life.  He never thought he would be able to marry for love.  And now he can marry a total and complete stranger!  Louis knows all that Blair gave up to be with him.  And he is willing to give up the crown to be with her.  (Really?  Because I wouldn’t.) 

So, he gets on his knee and proposes.  But, before Blair can give Louis his answer, she has someone she needs to see . . .

Everything Turns to Crap . . .

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“Sorry, I ruined your shot at being a princess,” slurs Chuck, when Blair comes to visit him at his apartment.  “I need you like I’ve never needed you before,” he pleads.  “The only thing that’s ever been real is me and you.  That’s why you came back to me.”

Blair hugs Chuck affectionately, and uses this moment to tell him about the proposal.  It’s as if a part of her wants Chuck to convince her to say no.  But Chuck is too drunk, and depressed, to reason properly.  And every word he utters to her is strictly possessive in its implications.   Nowhere in Chuck’s monologue does he reference BLAIR’S feelings, what SHE wants, or even what he loves about HER.  “You’re mine,” he say decisively.

“I wanted to be,” Blair admits sadly.

 

“You’ll never be with anyone else but me.  The only thing that is real to me is you.”

There’s a need and insistence in Chuck’s words that is heart-wrenching in its desperation, moving in its intensity, and yet, somewhat disappointing, in its abject selfishness.  Fans of Chuck Bass know that he DOES care about Blair, that he HAS sacrificed for her, that he WOULD do anything for her.  But that’s not what’s coming across in this scene.  All we see in Chuck is FEAR:  the fear of losing the one thing in his life that makes sense, when everything else seems to be falling apart.

And that’s what causes Chuck to lash out, pushing Blair against a wall.  And when she struggles out of his grasp, he punches a windowpane, injuring his own hand, and causing glass and debris to fly everywhere.  Tragically,  Blair does not make it out of this unscathed . . .

As a scarred Blair rushes from the apartment, crying and clutching her face, Nate looks on in disgust, which makes me wonder how long exactly he’s been standing there, like a dope, doing nothing.

  (WHYDIDN’T YOU AT LEAST TRY TO STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING, NATE?  WHAT’ THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?)

“Hi, is this Losers’ Anonymous?   My name is Nate.”

Immediately, after watching Chuck RETROACTIVELY RUIN ONE OF THE BEST ROMANCES ON TELEVISION (Though, it must be said, Ed Westwick’s acting was both HORRIFYING and CAPTIVATING in that scene, as was Leighton Meester’s.), Nate calls Raina to tell her that she is his Consolation Prize.  “I choose you,” he tells her answering machine.  (How romantic!)

But Raina is already on the phone with someone else . . . JACK BASS.

Here we go again . . .

In the final moments of the episode, we see Blair literally close the door on Serena’s friendship (Serves that b*tch right!).  She then calls her mother to give her the good(?) news.   Blair has decided to accept Louis’ proposal.  She is engaged to be married . . . to a Real Prince . . .

For me, “The Princesses and the Frog” was a True Contradiction.  I don’t think I’ve ever been as impressed (by amazing acting, and a gripping storyline), and yet, at the same time, as thoroughly disappointed (by the seemingly deliberate SHIP and character assassination) by an episode, in my entire life.  But enough about me.  I want to know about YOU! 

Is Louis starting to grow on you, like he is on Dorota?  How long before Charlie starts burning bunnies, and coming at Dan with a butcher’s knife?  Are you as THRILLED to see Vanessa go, as I am?  And, perhaps, most importantly, has the CHAIR ship sailed for you?  Or do you still believe this fairytale can have a happy ending?

Until next time . . .  XOXO. 

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

True Blood Minisode 3 – CATFIGHT! (Sookie, Tara & Lafayette)

Welcome back, fellow Fangbangers!  It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means . . .  You got it!  The third of six True Blood Minisodes has just been “leaked” online. 

(Seeing as how one of these puppies has been “leaked” every Tuesday, since April 27th, I’m pretty sure that this has been HBO’s grand plan all along.  Just a little something to get us nerdy bloggers all riled up about the show, and feeling special.  After all, WE (and everyone else with a computer who knows how to use a Search Engine) get to see the minisodes, before HBO ACTUALLY airs them on Sunday nights.  Still, it’s a pretty ingenious marketing tool, if you ask me . . .)

This week’s installment of  “A Drop of True Blood” features our three favorite Bon Temps girls: BFF’s Sookie and Tara (who, quite honestly, have been seeming a lot less chummy, of late) . . .

They just found out I spilled the beans about the whole “Tuesday internet leak” thing.  Don’t worry ladies, I promise to keep it between just us girls . . .

 . . . and, of course, the inimitable Lafayette . . .

You take off those earrings girl!  (I’d rather not have them in my soup . . .)

Now, initially, I was under the impression that these minisodes were supposed to take place at some point in time, between Seasons 2 and 3.  Here, we see that this is not necessarily the case.  This minisode, in particular, seems more like a deleted scene from the Season 2 finale than anything “new.”  For one thing, check out the dress Sookie is showing off to Tara at Merlotte’s.  Does it look familiar to you?

Of course, there’s a second, much more obvious, reason why I think that this scene had to have occurred chronologically before the Season 2 Finale concluded.  But, I’ll let you figure that one out for yourselves . . .  Roll the clip . . .

(If, for any reason, this video disappears before you get to see it, you can also catch it at Dread Central and Jivid.com.)

Now that I think about it, there’s a third reason this scene had to take place before the Season 2 finale ended. Did you pick up on it?  I’ll give you a hint.

By the way, how much do you love Lafayette, in this scene?  “B*tches you both is pretty!” –    Classic!

While we’re sharing, HBO has also released its newest promo for the show today.  And if big blue dogs, and bad CGI graphics (sorry Alan Ball) are your thing, you’re going to love this one . . .

If this promo is any indication, I’m thinking there’s a good chance that the next True Blood minisode will feature Bon Temps’ newest visitor and werewolf, Alcide Herveaux, played by Joe Mangiello, of One Tree Hill fame. 

Here’s hoping the video clip somehow involves this guy being shirtless . . .

(For more on the new cast members signing on for Season 3 of True Blood, click here.)

And if, by any chance, you missed any of the True Blood Minisodes that have already aired, you can catch the first one, which features a tracksuit- wearing Vampire Eric and a bisexual Vampire Pam auditioning new dancers for Fangtasia Bar, here . . .

 

 . . . and the second one, which involves a casino-hopping and hungry Vampire Jessica, here.

Thirsty for more, True Blood goodness?  Check out the show’s newest fan, Lola at Lovely Entropy, and her take on Vampire Bill’s penchant for that hideous hillbilly shirt he always wears.  (I laughed until I peed!)

True Blood premieres Sunday, June 13th on HBO.  Be there, or be eaten by vampires . . . and werewolves, of course.