Tag Archives: Quinn

Will Schuester and The Case of the Mysterious Glist – A Recap of Glee’s “Bad Reputation”

So, what exactly is a “Glist?”  Well, according to Sue Sylvester, it’s a “weekly ranking of  . . . Glee club members, based on a hotness quotient of sexual promiscuity . . . You get a point for each act of perpetuated depravity.” 

As you can see from the above screencap, in the Glist’s premiere week, Quinn, Santana, and Puck topped the list, with Brittany, Jesse, and Finn, taking positions 4, 5, and 6, respectively.  What you cannot see from this screencap (because I couldn’t find a SINGLE shot that fit everything in), was that Rachel rounded up the rear, with a score of -5!  And Mercedes, Kurt, Tina, and Artie didn’t make the Glist AT ALL!

Which begs the question?  WHO CREATED THE GLIST (and why)?  This was the mystery Will Schuester was tasked with solving at the beginning of this week’s installment of Glee, entitled “Bad Reputation.”  As for the Glee kids, they were less concerned with figuring out who made the Glist, and more concerned with “moving up on it.”  “Maybe if we seen a little more dangerous, people will stop flushing my glasses down the toilet,” suggested Artie, hopefully.

(Poor Artie!  Having your glasses flushed down the toilet HAS to suck!  Then again, doesn’t  No Glasses-Artie look a bit like a young Harry Connick, Jr.?)

It’s almost uncanny, right?  They are even wearing the SAME SHIRT!

This week’s episode was all about what it takes to revive (or create) a “bad reputation.”  And while the characters were all struggling with that, in their own way, they were also singing songs.  What songs, you ask? “Awesomely Bad” Songs, of course!  Songs that were once “great” (at least according to Mr. Schuester), but had since fallen into disrepute. Like, for example, Ice, Ice Baby, which was originally sung by this guy . . .

Now we know where Puck has been getting his hair care tips!

Let’s see how everyone did, shall we?

Rachel Berry

Goal: To cast aside her squeaky clean reputation, and move up from last place on the Glist.

What she did: Tricked the three men in her life into starring with her in a music video, in which she was cast as the slutty siren, awakening all three men’s hidden sexual desires for her, in the process.

What she sang:  Run, Joey, Run by David Geddes and Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler

I’ll admit that sometimes the “Rachel” character really irks me.  However, she was all kinds of awesome in this episode!  From her flirtatious dalliances with Puck (“Did you know when we were together, people called us Puckleberry?”  “Dating me  . . . gave you a sense of humanity.”) . . .

These two were SO HOT together tonight, that I almost forgot that Puck is with Quinn, and Rachel’s with  . . . that other guy.

. . .to the calculated trickery she employed to get all THREE main Glee guys (Puck, Finn, and Jesse) to star opposite her in what I am pretty sure was the most self-aggrandizing, campiest, music video EVER MADE .  . . and, ending with her angsty belting of Total Eclipse of the Heart, which she sang after all three men promptly deserted her for her selfish behavior.

As far as the Rachel and Jesse “break up,” (which occurred in the last few moments of the episode), I’m not really sure how I felt about it.  On one hand, I’m still pretty positive that Jesse’s REAL reason for transferring to McKinley, was to “narc” out the Glee kids to their main competition, and his former teammates, Vocal Adrenaline.  (Notice how, even though Jesse’s “sole” reason for coming to the school was to “be with Rachel,”  he decided to stay  at the school, even after they broke up?)  And yet, I also believe that as the season progresses, Jesse’s feelings for Rachel will eventually become real.    To further complicate matters, Jonathan Groff’s portrayal of Jesse, which heretofore has come across as a tad overblown and artificial, in my opinion, was significantly more understated and genuine this week.  So, while I wanted to not care about Jesse’s feelings being hurt this week, because I don’t trust him, I found myself caring, in spite of myself . . .

True Love?  Or Truly Convenient Plot Device . . .

Kurt, Mercedes, Artie, Tina and Brittany

Goal: To be featured on the Glist (or, in Brittany’s case, to break the top three)

What they did: Wore ugly pants and sang a cheesy song in the library; admitted to being the source of Sue Sylvester’s public embarrassment

What they sang:  You Can’t Touch This, by M.C. Hammer

So, this episode marks the THIRD time our Glee kids chose to break out into song in, of all places, THE LIBRARY! 

 I’m not exactly sure what made these guys think that wearing balloon pants and singing the Anthem to ’90’s Musical Ridiculousness would up their coolness quotient.  Whatever their thinking was, their plan TOTALLY backfired, when the school librarian loved the performance!  She even  invited the kids to perform the song for her church! 

 Kurt’s plan to admit to Sue that he had posted her private Let’s Get Physical (more on that later) video on YouTube, similarly backfired when she THANKED him for doing so.  However, given Mercedes’ kickass performance of Christina Aguilera’s Beautiful at the school pep rally, and Kurt’s football heroism earlier this season (he won the game for his team by distracting the opposition with his dance to Beyonce’s All the Single Ladies), I can’t imagine these two being invisible at McKinley High School for much longer . . .

Sue Sylvester

Goal: To redeem herself, after having become the school laughingstock

What she did: Made a music video with Olivia Newton John featuring sexy shirtless men!

What she sang: Let’s Get Physical by Olivia Newton John

The first time we see Sue Sylvester in this episode, a miniaturized version of her is shaking her booty and doing the Cabbage Patch, from inside the screen of a laptop computer, to the tune of Olivia Newton John’s Let’s Get Physical.  One of my main gripes with this episode is that WE NEVER GOT TO SEE THE WHOLE VIDEO, which CLEARLY would have been hilarious! 

Apparently, Kurt found the incriminating video amongst Sue’s hormone replacement pills, in a locked drawer in her office.  However, it was Finn’s idea to post the video on YouTube for the world to see.  News of the video spread like wildfire, and Sue soon found herself to be the subject of “slow motion laughter” and public ridicule.  Fortunately for Sue, Olivia Newton John herself got wind of Sue’s dance moves, and decided to remake an updated version of the music video for the song, in which she and Sue ultimately sang alongside one another. 

The music video was a hit!  And, while it was cute, I STILL would have preferred to see Sue’s embarrassing solo jazzercise version all the way through .  . . but that’s just me.

In other news, Emma . . .

 . . . learned of Will’s recent slut-capades with April and that Vocal Adrenaline coach from Sue Sylvester (who apparently rigged his home with hidden cameras?).  And, in a moment of highly uncharacteristic fury, our favorite OCD guidance counselor responded, by publicly berating him for his whorish tendencies.  Now Will has a reputation for being a Man Slut.

And if he wasn’t raking in the ladies before, they will certainly be coming out of the woodwork NOW!  After all, we all know how the ladies LOVE their Man Sluts!

Oh, and you know who ended up being responsible for creating the Glist?

Quinn!  Did you see that one coming?  You SHOULD HAVE!  She was, after all, Number 1 on the list.  Plus, the former Queen Bee’s popularity has taken a serious nosedive, since the whole “teen pregnancy thing” got out.  In a heartfelt moment, Quinn confides in Will about her feelings of loneliness and depression, regarding the loss of her peak social status.  Will comforts her, explaining that high school is only temporary, and “social status” really has more to do with self-confidence than anything else.  And I guess that was supposed to be the “moral of the story”  . . . or something.

All in all, this was a fun episode — probably my favorite one post-hiatus.  It offered the deft plotting, and solid character development, that, honestly, seemed a bit lacking in the last few episodes.  Sure, most of the songs wouldn’t make my “Must Download” list, but perhaps that was the point.  Like the characters in this episode, Glee had a reputation to revive this week, one for good storytelling.  And, in that respect, it certainly succeeded.

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Don’t Cry for Me, Sue Sylvester!: A Recap of Glee’s “Home”

  

Glad to see my girl, Mercedes, happy and smiling again!

This week’s installment of Glee might not have been the show’s most GLEE-FUL (Everyone was CRYING during it!), but it was certainly its most heartfelt.  As you can probably gather from the title, the episode’s theme was “home” (and just in case you didn’t get the theme from the title, the entire cast hit you on the head with it, sledgehammer style, by using the word, about every 5 minutes).

The “home” in question, referred to a house, in the literal sense, like the one Mr. Schuester was trying to sublet, pending his divorce.  It also referred to “home” in the more abstract sense, like the inner peace Mercedes had to regain, regarding her body.

“All this talk about HOME is making me HOMESICK, Toto!”

Let’s revisit, shall we? 

There’s No Place Like Inside Will Schuester’s Pants . . .

When the episode begins, the Glee club is homeless, due to Sue Sylvester’s commandeering of the auditorium for use by her Cheerios (of which, by now, half of the Glee kids just so happen to be members).  Ummm . . . to be honest, I’m not sure why this was such an issue.  I always thought the Gleeks held their practice sessions in the music room, you know, the one we always see them practicing in.  Anyway, as a result of this plot device unfortunate circumstance, Mr. Schuester (a.k.a Will) is forced to search for a temporary “home” for his Glee club, and randomly decides that the 1980’s would be a perfect place for them to go (last week, after all, was the Madonna episode). 

So, our favorite Glee coach travels back in time . . . to a roller rink . . . and to a previous episode of the show, guest starring Kristin Chenoweth . . .

Yes, boys and girls, you probably remember Kristin’s guest starring role on Glee, during the first half of the season, as the boozy songstress, April.  Well, now, apparently, April is back, and conveniently in charge of the roller rink that constitutes the “only possible” place for our Gleeks to practice (aside from the music room, of course).  April gallantly lets Will use the roller rink as Glee Club practice space.  She’s also willing to prospectively help him find a subletter for his home.  Why, you ask?  Because April is a girl, and everyone knows that all GIRLS on Glee (except for maybe, Sue Sylvester)desire a coveted spot inside the Schuester pantalones (a spot which is becoming increasingly less exclusive as the weeks progress)!

“Come on inside, ladies.  There’s room in here for EVERYBODY!”

April swings by Will’s place, ostensibly to check out the apartment, but ends up spending the night.  Surprisingly, these two don’t actually do it!

I know, Mr. Monkey, I was shocked too!

However, they did sing a couple of rousing show tunes together, about how lonely they both were.  And nothing says foreplay like SHOW TUNES!

After the foreplay show tunes singing, Will goes into Daddy mode, and self-righteously lectures April on how crappy her life is right now.  (Right, because YOU are the epitome of healthy living, Man Slut Will).  And to his credit, Will Schuester must be REALLY good at singing show tunes, because one talk with him is all it takes for April to decide to clean up her life and head out of town, but not before she buys the Glee club its auditorium, of course .  . .

Our Parents are Dating Eachother, So We Should TOTALLY Date TOO . . .

“You’re so TENSE future step-brother.  Maybe a full body massage would help.”

Speaking of pantalones, I’m not exactly sure what gave Kurt the brilliant idea that, if you have a crush on someone, becoming related to them is the PERFECT way to get them to do it with you (particularly if that person is straight, and you are gay)!  And yet, that was precisely our boy Kurt’s dastardly plan at the beginning of this episode.  We watch as Kurt deftly orchestrates the coupling of his widower father (played by Mike O’Malley) with Finn’s widowed mom.  And, wouldn’t you know it, these two fall completely in love, during the course of a SINGLE EPISODE!

Finn, who sees any “moving on” he and his mother might do, as a direct betrayal of his deceased dad, is not too happy with this new state of affairs.  And he lets both Finn and his mother know it, in no uncertain terms.  I love how when a very hurt Kurt sings “A House is Not a Home” directly to Finn during Glee practice, Puck mouths to Finn “Are you gay?”  (It might have been wise for Kurt to ask Finn this same question, before he started going through all this trouble!)

To further complicate matters, when Kurt and Finn, and their respective parents, all go out to eat together, Kurt’s dad starts talking football with Finn, which makes Kurt, who has always desired a closer relationship with his “man’s man” father, extremely jealous.  But . . . wait . . . isn’t Kurt on the football team too?

Did Kurt not WIN a football game for his school, by distracting the opposing team with his hypnotic “Single Ladies” dance, just a few months ago?

I mean that’s gotta count for something, right?  During the episode, Kurt comes to terms with his relationship with his father, while Finn comes to terms with the loss of his.  Ultimately, Finn allows Kurt’s dad to sit in his father’s sacred chair, while the two bond over a college football game.  Kurt looks on wistfully, but with a new understanding of the situation.

What it takes to be Beautiful . . .

“Just for cheering, not for EATING!”

Poor Mercedes!  The minute Sue Sylvester calls her and Kurt into her office, we just know she’s in for some trouble.   “How do you two not have a show on Bravo?”  Sue inquires, as the spunky pair banters with one another, just seconds before Sue rips their hearts out.  (And, she’s RIGHT!  I would TOTALLY watch a Bravo show starring these two!)

Check out Kurt and Mercedes in Bravo’s new hit show “Girl Talk,” on Thursday nights (right after Project Runway)

In preparation from an upcoming interview with a premiere journalist, Sue Sylvester has given her newest Cheerio an ultimatum: “Lose ten pounds, or you’re off the squad.”

To her credit, Mercedes initially goes about losing the weight the right way, by ordering a healthy lo-cal lunch at the cafeteria.  Unfortunately, Mercedes’ “friends” intervene, giving her “advice,” ranging from the bad to the downright insulting.

“Don’t ruin this for me!” Kurt says.

“Would you rather feel bad and look good, or feel good and look bad?”  Santana asks, after suggesting that Mercedes drink a “meal replacement” shake, that will cause her to instantly regurgitate all her food.

“We like you no matter what you look like,” says Artie (good sentiment, poor delivery)

“I’m pretty sure my cat has been reading my diary,” says Brittany.

(LOVE this girl!  I’m so glad they’ve decided to upgrade her to series regular status.  She totally deserves it.)

 . . . and so does her cat. 

Mercedes soon begins starving herself, to the point where she faints in the lunchroom.  Surprisingly, the only person with anything remotely supportive to say to Mercedes throughout this entire ordeal is Quinn.

In a very touching scene, Quinn visits Mercedes in the nurse’s office, offers her a granola bar, and tells her she is beautiful.  “You’ve always been at home in your body.  I admired that about you,” Quinn counsels.

Having had body issues in the past, and having gained a new understanding about healthy eating, as a result of her pregnancy, Quinn is able to commiserate with Mercedes, and provide her with some good advice.  I love the journey the writers have taken with Quinn this season.  She has certainly come along way from the shallow self-righteous girl we knew from the pilot. 

At the pep rally, Mercedes surprises everyone by giving a heart-warming speech about the importance of feeling comfortable in your own skin.  She then asks the entire student body to join her in a rendition of Christina Aquilera’s Beautiful, that, in my opinion, was by far, the best performance of the evening.  (Then again, maybe that’s just because I’m not a big fan of show tunes.)  You can hear Mercedes, in all her glory, here:

After the performance, a nervous Sue Sylvester . . .

 . . . meets with the journalist, who she is convinced will berate her for the impromptu performance.  And, initially, it seems as though he will do just that.  “The minute I met you, I instantly disliked you . . . Twice you called me Rerun, and I was also beginning to think you were a little racist.”

NOT the journalist!

While the journalist initially had plans to expose Sue for her bad behavior, he was pleasantly surprised by what he saw during the pep rally.  Assuming that Sue had orchestrated the whole thing, he calls her a visionary, and promises to “open doors for her,” by writing a highly laudatory article about the cheerleading coach.  To Sue’s credit, she ACTUALLY looks like she feels kind of guilty about all the undeserved praise she is receiving.  But just like the other few times us viewers have been made privy to Sue’s softer side, I’m sure it won’t last very long . . .

  • That’s all folks.  It was definitely not my favorite Glee episode, but it had some good moments.  What did you think?  Are you excited about the prospect of Kurt and Finn as step-brothers?  Were you as shocked as I was that Jesse St. James had NO lines during this episode, and Rachel only had one?  Would you watch a Bravo show starring Mercedes and Kurt?  If you were Brittany’s cat, would you read her diary too?

 

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Glee’s Noah “Puck” Puckerman – Yet Another Addition to My Ever-Growing List of Current Television Boyfriends . . .

“I don’t care that you are giving me the ‘LOSER’ sign right now. I am still in love with you . . .”

Wednesday nights are currently television-lite for me.  I don’t have any shows to recap, which saddens me a bit (but probably improves upon my ever-dwindling sleep schedule – Recaps take a LONG time to write!).  It also causes me to get a bit nostalgic for a time, not too long ago, when Wednesday night television, literally rocked!  Of course, I am talking about one of my favorite new shows of last year – GLEE!.   

This cheese-tastic, 80’s and 90’s loving, musical powerhouse graced my television set, every Wednesday night, from May through November of 2009.  It took only one episode, for me to become a total “Gleek”.  During those fun-filled prime time hours, it wouldn’t be at all unusual to find me bopping around the apartment like a drunk girl at a bar, singing at the top of my lungs, or clapping and hooting when the first bars of songs I recognized were played on screen.  After the first season finale aired, my typical television withdrawal-fueled depression was tempered, only by the fact that I now have EVERY song ever aired on the show in high rotation on my iPod.

Musical obsessions aside, one of the major draws of the show, for me, anyway, came by way of a certain mohawk-wearing, bad boy jock, with the body of an Adonis, and a last name that sounds like a kiss.

Here are 10 reasons, that I have decided to elevate Noah “Puck” Puckerman to fake boyfriend status:

(1) Mohawk Man: Puck sports a hairstyle that went out of style around the time that I was born.  But he makes it look GOOD!

Nice try, Vanilla Ice.  But SOME things should be left back in the ’80s,  where they belong . . .

(2) Varsity Boy: Puck is a total, card-carrying, jock.  This  means, as his faux-girlfriend, I get to wear his slightly oversized varsity jacket, when we go out on dates . . .

(Personal sidenote – Back in high school, I was on the track team, and actually had my own varsity jacket.  This didn’t stop me from secretly hoping that the right high school athlete would let me wear his . . . )

(3) Underdog: Puck spent most of the first season on the unrequited end of a love triangle.  In my book, brooding men, who want what they can’t have, are a total turn on . . .

(4) Father Figure:  Rather than run away screaming (as many lesser men would do), Puck has shown that he’s willing to step up the plate and help Quinn to raise their baby.  He even raised money to help her to pay for her medical bills.  So what, if that meant getting all the kiddies high, by selling them pot brownies?

That just means he’s a good cook!

(5) Abs-haver:

If I even have to explain this to you, you have no business reading this blog . . .

(6) Shalom Sayer:  Puck is Jewish.  And it is high time that television portrayed Abraham’s people as something more than math geeks and mama’s boys . . .

Say what?  You didn’t know Jews were cool?  Have all 80 installments of my Hanukah song taught you nothing?

(7) Non-Perv Maker: Sure, Puck is only in high school.  But the actor who plays him, Mark Salling, is a twenty-something, like me.  This makes me feel WAY less guilty for drooling over him.  The fact that he and I could date in real life, without me (a)  being mistaken for his mother; or (b) being charged with a crime, is a definite selling point for our make-believe relationship.

(8) Renaissance Man: Puck plays three different sports at the varsity level, cleans pools, bakes brownies,  sexts like a champ, sings AND plays guitar.  Is there anything this guy CAN’T do?

. . . currently working to single-handedly solve the Health Care Crisis.

(9) He doesn’t mind getting dirty . . .

Hint, hint, wink, wink . . .

(10) He gave me this . . .

Need I say more?

Glee returns to Fox on Tuesday, April 13th.  Watch with me.  But keep your mitts off Puck, OK?  He’s MINE!

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