Tag Archives: Sayid

Lost’s “The Package,” a.k.a “That Snoozy, Filler, Jin/Sun Episode” – Cliff Notes Version

 

Congratulations Yunjin Kim!  Not only did you, apparently, get hitched a couple of days ago, you also got this week’s entire episode of Lost to yourself (well .  . . HALF of the entire episode).  You are officially having the BEST WEEK EVER!  Yay you!

Back by popular demand (or, rather, back as a result of my own recapping laziness), below please find some of the questions that were answered during this installment of Lost.

1) This episode was called “The Package.”  That’s kind of a generic name for an episode, don’t you think?  I mean, last week’s episode title was in Latin.  And the week before, the episode was about HOT SAWYER.  So who even cared what the title was?  What WAS “The Package” supposed to be, anyway?

This . . . was the package . . .

I’m serious!  The package was a PERSON!  It was Desmond Hume!  What?  You thought I was making a joke, just so I could list “Shirtless Desmond” in my tags, and get more hits on my blog?  No way, Jose.  (Not that I WOULDN’T do that . . . I just didn’t do it this time.)

2) So, that guy Charles Widmore, that girl Zoey (who everyone says looks like Tina Fey) and the rest of the people who arrived at Hydra Island on the submarine, what is THEIR DEAL?  Why are they here?

If Charles Widmore was telling the truth when he spoke to Jin tonight (which I am not entirely convinced of yet), the crack team that I lovingly refer to as “Team Subbie” is here to prevent MIB / Smokey from leaving the island.  According to Widmore, if MIB gets free, Jin’s daughter, Ji Yeon (who Jin hasn’t yet had the chance to meet), Widmore’s daughter, Penelope, and Sun will somehow cease to exist.  If true, this would mean that, in terms of goals, Team Subbie is actually aligned with . . .

What the heck Desmond Hume has to do with all this, I still have no idea . . .

3) So, is Kate one of Jacob’s “candidates,” or isn’t she?  MIB certainly seems to think she’s important . . .

Kate used to be one of the candidates.  But, for some reason, is no longer on the list.  However, MIB needs Kate to help him get all of the CURRENT candidates off of the island.  According to MIB, this is necessary in order for HIM (or IT) to leave the island.  This idea sort of jives with what we learned in Ab Aeterno.  Jacob’s original purpose, and that of whichever candidate ultimately becomes his replacement, is to keep MIB, and his evil Smokey powers from leaving the island.  No Jacob, and no Jacob’s replacement = no more island prison for MIB.

4) What about Crazy Claire?  Was she ever on Jacob’s list?

NO!  (That was an easy one . . .)

5) One of the candidates on Jacob’s List is “Kwon.”  No one seems entirely sure whether that last name refers to Jin or Sun.  Seeing as this was a JIN AND SUN episode, did we get any closer to figuring this out?

You would think so, wouldn’t you?  Unfortunately, Lost writers are still sort of playing “hide the ball” on this one.  However, there were some hints given in the episode that would seem to suggest that JIN is the candidate. 

First, there was Widmore’s extreme interest in getting Jin to the Hydra.  Second, during this episode, the writers highlighted the fact that Sun’s maiden name was “Paik,” not “Kwon.”  (Note: In flash-sideways world, Sun and Jin are lovers, but not married.)  Third, Widmore’s cryptic comments about Sun “ceasing to exist” if MIB escapes the island; coupled with the flash-sideways images of Sun, shot and bleeding from the stomach, don’t bode particularly well for her . . .

But, then again, this is Lost, so all of this may end up meaning absolutely NOTHING!

6) Speaking of Lost stuff that initially SEEMS important to the overall mythology, but ends up meaning NOTHING, what was the deal with Room 23 — that place from back in Season 3, where Ben imprisoned Carl and forced him to watch that bizarre brain washy video?

Yeah, this was a bit of a cop out on Lost’s part, if you ask me.  The Room was mentioned during this episode, seemingly, only to be explained away in a few hastily written sentences.  Widmore inexplicably decided to keep Jin in Room 23, during this episode.  When the familiar video images pop on the screen, and majorly freak out our poor Korean gangster, Zoey explains that the “Dharma Initiative” used the Room to “experiment with subliminal messaging” . . . LAME!

7) In Sayid’s episode, Sundown, his flash-sideways world featured Jin bound and gagged in a restaurant freezer.  Was that explained tonight?

“Why is everybody always picking on ME?”

Good question, Jin.  And, yes, as it turns out, in flash-sideways world, Sergeant Keamy . . .

was hired by Sun’s daddy to kill Jin, for, literally, screwing, with the boss’s daughter.  Keamy never got a chance to do this, however, because RAMBO SAYID shot his ass before he got the chance . . .

I’m still not entirely sure, why all of this had to go down in a restaurant, though.  Seems kind of random, to me  .  . .  What exactly do you have against RESTAURANTS, Lost writers?  What did they ever do to you?

8 ) Remember that awesome patch-wearing dude Mikhail, who never EVER seemed to die, no matter what anybody did to him?  Why does he have to wear an eyepatch all the time?

OK . . . OK.  This was a bit of a stretch.  Of ALL the questions posed by the show Lost during the course of six seasons, I highly doubt that THIS was the one that was keeping you awake at night.  However, you have to admit, it was pretty cool of the Lost writers to pay homage to “Patchy” again, after all this time. 

This guy is AWESOME!

If you recall, in the original timeline, Mikhail was a hard core Other who just WOULDN’T die!  The dude was blown up, beaten up, shot and/or electrocuted, in every SINGLE episode in which he appeared, but he just kept coming back for more.  In flash-sideways world, Mikhail is a multi-lingual emissary of Keamy, and by extension, Sun’s father. 

Toward the end of the episode, Mikhail is shot dead by Jin, but also sustains an eye injury.   Mere coincidence?  Or, is there, perhaps, some real and lasting connection between the flash-sideways world inhabited by the Losties, and the original timeline?

Well, that’s all I got, folks.  Tune in next week, when we will hopefully be treated to much more Shirtless Desmond Hume and his super sexy Scottish brogue . . . oh, and maybe, get some more questions answered too.

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Awesomeness Incarnate: A Recap of Lost’s “Sundown”

“I see dead people (because I killed them).”

Tonight’s installment of Lost, in my opinion, truly harkened back to the show’s iconic first season.  Back then, the show was less about mythology, time travel, scientific theory, and zombies, and more about castaways.  At its core, early Lost was about PEOPLE, just like you and me (only hotter, less hygenic, and more often shirtless).

Yeah . . . Sawyer wasn’t actually in this episode.  I just felt the need to share this picture with you, because it’s yummy.

During the first season of the series, we watched the Losties battle their inner demons, justify their pasts, and struggle to survive the island elements.  As the series progressed, and its mythology grew more complex, Lost lost some of that simplicity.  “Sundown,” in my opinion, brought it back in a big way.  It was a simple episode.  One that even a non-fan of the show could have understood and enjoyed, which is not to say that it didn’t have its action-packed OMFG moments . . . . 

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

In one of the series’ early flashbacks, a young Sayid cared for and protected his older brother by committing an act of violence (killing a chicken), when his brother could not do so.  In his flash sideways . . . well . . .

In virtually all of the flash-sideways that we have seen thus far, the main character has had the opportunity to experience some form of redemption, righting the wrongs of his or her past in an alternate present.  Sayid’s flash sideways is unique in that it is NOT about redemption . . . at least not entirely. 

Like Locke, following Flight 815’s safe landing, Sayid travels to a suburban neighborhood, and is greeted with a hug at the doorstep by the woman he loves.  Unlike Locke, however, the object of Sayid’s affection belongs to another man, namely his older brother, Omer.

Although Sayid is often away on “business” (i.e. killing and torturing people) it becomes immediately apparent that he is very close with his family.  Sayid is a beloved uncle to his niece and nephew, and a close confidant to his sister-in-law.  Based on the looks Nadia and Sayid give one another across the kitchen table, you can immediatelly tell there is something serious between them.  This fact is not lost on big brother Omer, who eyes the pair with jealous suspicion.  Nor does it escape the notice of Omer’s children, who quickly find a photograph of Nadia packed away in Sayid’s suitcase.

Once alone, Nadia confronts Sayid about why the pair never acted on their obvious mutual affection for one another.  She has opened her heart to him in letters, and he has continually pushed her away.  Sayid stares at Nadia regretfully, recalling all of his past misdeeds, and replies, “I do not deserve you.”

In this way, the Sayid of Flash Sideways World HAS redeemed himself.  Having had to live with the regret of knowing that his murderous lifestyle resulted in Nadia’s untimely death in the “real world,” Sayid is able to prevent her demise in this world.  He does this by remaining apart from her, no matter how much doing so kills him inside.  Sayid seems to be continuing on this redemptive path, when his brother wakes him in the middle of the night begging for his help. 

Omer apparently has bargained the family fortune and is now indebted to some highly unsavory characters.  In no uncertain terms, he asks Sayid to beat the crap out of these people, so that they will leave Omer alone.  Sayid declines, claiming that this part of his life is over.  The next day, Omer is put in the hospital, after having been beat down by the goons to whom he is indebted.  At the hospital, Nadia begs Sayid not to intervene.  She instructs him instead to go home and be with her children.

Surprisingly, Sayid does as he is told.  Unforunately, the goons pick Sayid up outside Omer’s house.  In what was, in my opinion, the only weak point in the episode, the goons, who were led by none other than Charles Widmore’s mercenary, Martin Keamy, from the original Lost  timeline,  bring Sayid to an abandoned restaurant.  Here, they proceed to throw at him every mafia cliche in the book, from the faux polite offers of food, to a dude held hostage in the meat locker (but we will get to him later . . .)

“Get the f&*k outta here!  Posers!”

Paulie Walnuts Martin tries to bully Sayid into forking over the cash his brother owes.  However, Mob Man’s tune quickly changes when Sayid, without a moment’s hesitation, pulls out a gun and shoots his two minions.  Martin, now fearing for his life, tries to reason with Sayid, offering to immediately forgive Omer’s entire debt.  However, Martin’s plea is met with nothing more than a bullet in his chest. 

Poor Sayid, you try to be a nice guy, and, what happens?  You end up committing triple homicide.  It just isn’t fair!

“Every time I think I’m out, they pull me back in!”

Oh, and did I mention that Sayid found Jin stuck in the restaurant’s meat locker?

Bad to the Bone

Back in real time, Sayid confronts Dogen at the Temple, seeking answers.  Of course, he doesn’t just want answers, he wants the TRUTH!

“YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH, SAYID!”

 . . . sorry.  I couldn’t resist.

Dogen explains to Sayid that he had hooked the latter up to a machine calibrated to measure good and evil.  Unfortunately for Sayid, his scale “tipped the wrong way.”  This is why Dogen has been trying to kill Sayid.

Good and evil.  Light and dark.  Dogen’s monologue brought to mind Locke’s infamous backgammon speech from season one.

Having provided Sayid with the requested “answers,” Yoda Dogen then proceeds to attack Sayid.  After performing some crazy Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon– type moves, the spry Dogen pins Sayid to the ground, while holding a knife to his neck. 

Then, oddly enough, a baseball rolls to the ground, and, upon seeing it, Dogen decides to spare Sayid’s life.  (He must really like baseball . . .)

“If you build it, you can LIVE!”

Then, Crazy Claire comes to the Temple and tells Dogen that Nu-Locke (or Man in Black or whatever the heck the cool kids are calling him these days) wants to talk to him.  Dogen refuses to leave the Sanctuary of the Temple, claiming that Nu Locke can kill him out in the jungle.  Claire then suggests that Dogen send someone Nu Locke will not kill.  Dogen sets his sights on the man he just decided not to kill: Sayid.  Claire is then tossed in an underground sort of prison made specially for island loonies just like her .  . .

Just hanging out . . . killing some time . . . among other things.”

Offering Sayid a chance to prove his “goodness,” Dogen gives the former his knife and tells him to kill Nu Locke, who he describes as “evil incarnate.”  (Because nothing says “goodness” like premeditated murder).

“I have been waiting for you Obi Wan.”

Nu-Locke soon appears just outside the Temple.  And, Sayid, who clearly loves a good kill,  immediately stabs him in the chest.  Nu-Locke then surprises Sayid by extracting the sword easily from his stomach, without leaving so much as a pinprick behind.  Instead of teasing Sayid for his clearly crappy mercenary skills, Nu Locke offers Sayid the chance to see his beloved Nadiya once again, if he agrees to deliver a message on Nu-Locke’s behalf, thereby selling his soul to Evil Incarnate, himself.

Here’s the basic gist of the message Sayid delivers to the inhabitants of the Temple: Jacob is dead.  Leave the Temple by Sundown, and join Team Evil Incarnate, or Nu-Locke will kill YOU. 

After delivering the message, Sayid drowns Dogen as punishment for the latter’s failure to warn Sayid about the whole “Nu-Locke can’t die” thing.  Sayid then kills Dogen’s sidekick, Lennon, for . . . ummmm . . . just being Lennon . . . I guess.

“Aufwiedersehen, Lennon and Dogen.  You are OUT!”

Meanwhile, Kate returns to the Temple and finds Crazy Claire in her underground hidey hole singing to herself the iconic and oddly creepy song “Catch a Falling Star,” the same song Kate had sung to baby Aaron while mothering him off the island.  When Crazy Claire explains that she is here to retrieve her baby, whom the Others have kidnapped,  Kate explains to Claire that SHE has been the one taking care of Aaron all of these years . . .  not the Others.

“Hmmm . . . maybe it wasn’t such a good idea . . . telling her that.”

If you recall, last week, Crazy Claire told the currently MIA Jin that if she found out that Kate had, in fact, taken her child, she would KILL Kate . . .   Claire then cryptically informs Kate that “He’s coming and you can’t stop him,” before Kate is dragged away by the Temple guards.

 Losties Ben, Sun, Lapidus, and Ilana, arrive at the Temple, and reunite with Miles, moments before Sundown.  Just in time for all Hell (no pun intended) to break loose.  Ladies and Gentleman, Smokey has entered the building . . .

  . . . can prevent Evil Incarnate fires!

Within moments, the Temple is filled with deadly smoke, and people are running every which way to avoid being disintegrated by it.  It looks like something out of a badly scripted and poorly acted, but big budget, apocalyptic blockbuster.

“Yeah, just like that . . .”

Ilana finds a secret porthole in the Temple and ushers the rest of her Lostie gang to safety.  Ben finds Sayid staring morosely at the darkened waters, and beckons him toward the porthole.  “There is still time,” he pleads.

“Not for me,” replies Sayid.

 Ben, who is nothing if not good at saving his own ass, quickly retreats, leaving Sayid by his now-evil lonesome.  But you know who is not good at saving her own ass?  Kate!  In the midst of all this chaos, Kate actually decides to go back and rescue Crazy Claire, who just doesn’t seem to want saving“You’ll be safer down here,” offers Nutjob, and Kate actually listens!

This is not exactly the kind of gal you want in your foxhole with you.  For starters, the girl hasn’t showered in THREE YEARS!  The smell alone might kill you . . .

Fortunately for Kate, the Smoke monster passes right by Claire and her, leaving them virtually untouched.  Then, just as soon as it began, the Smoke vanishes.  Kate follows Claire out of her hidey hole, surveying the destruction and carnage around her in horror, as she exits the Temple. 

In the last few moments of the episode, Kate watches, awestruck, as Claire and Sayid join Nu Locke and the rest of his new creepy zombie minions out in the darkness of the jungle . . .

Frankly, the episode’s conclusion frightened me . . . a lot!  I need someone to give me ahug.  Where’s Shirtless Sawyer when you need him?

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Raiders of the Lost (Inner) Child – A Recap of Lost’s “Lighthouse”

“You may be the ‘Chosen Candidate’ Jack Shepard, but do YOU have a cool hat and whip?  I think not . . .”

Tonight’s installment of Lost was all about the kiddies!

More specifically, this episode dealt with finding and, coming to terms with, youth, both in the literal and metaphorical sense.  Tonight, Jack literally located and then reconciled with the son that none of us knew he had.  In doing so, he confronted his own daddy abandonment issues, and came one step closer to accepting his destiny as  . . .

The WINNING CANDIDATE for . . .

 In bat shit crazier news, Claire made a baby doll out of a dead animal carcass, fatally axed a guy, and majorly creeped out Poor Jin, all for the love of a boy named Aaron.

Oh and did I mention . . . the DONKEY WHEEL is back?

Let’s get down to business, shall we?

Dude, Where’s My Appendix?

When we last left Doctor Jack in Flash-Sideways World, he was at the airport, passing his business card off to a wheelchair-bound (but living) Locke, while filing a “lost luggage” claim for his dead dad’s coffin.  Now, back home in his apartment, Jack is on the phone with his mother, filling her in on all of the gory details of his trip, when he notices a scar on his stomach.  “When did I have my appendix out?’  Jack inquires.

Sidenote:  If you recall, in the original Lost timeline, Juliet diagnosed Jack with appendicitis and removed his appendix on the island in Season 4, Episode 10 “Something Nice Back Home.”

Jack’s mother explains that Jack had his appendectomy when he was about eight-years old.  I find it a bit strange that Alt World Jack wouldn’t remember having this particular surgery.  Sure, eight is a young age, but not so young that you wouldn’t remember something as traumatic as undergoing major surgery. 

Unlike the past flash-sideways we have seen, in which the Losties may exhibit brief flashes of “déjà vu” for their “original timeline” lives, but seem more or less at home in their new (?) skins, Jack seems completely (forgive the pun) “Lost” in Flash-Sideways world.  It is almost as though Island Jack has been plucked from the original timeline and placed in this new one, without being given any explanation as to how things are different here. 

 

or Jack Shephard?

Noting the time, Jack quickly gets off the phone with his Mommy and rushes to a nearby private school to pick up . . . HIS TEENAGE SON?  David Shepard?

“My brain hurts!”

Upon hearing the pair converse, it becomes immediately obvious that Jack’s and David’s relationship is strained.  In fact, Jack barely seems to know his son at all.  (Doesn’t remember his appendectomy, doesn’t know his son — is this merely a case of VERY early onset dementia or something odder?)

Back at the apartment, Jack notices that David is reading an annotated copy of Alice in Wonderland, the same story that Jack read to baby Aaron in “Something Nice Back Home.”

Curiouser and Curiouser . . .”

Jack leaves his son in the apartment and heads to his mother’s house, to help her find Jack’s father’s missing will.  When his mother finds it, she asks Jack if he knows “Claire Littleton.”  To which Jack replies . . .

“Hell yeah I do!   That bitch turned effing nuts!”

Actually, we don’t get to hear how Jack replies at all, because the producers cut away from the scene, before he can offer his response . . .  Does Alt World Jack know his half-sister Claire?  Only time will tell . . . hopefully.

When Jack returns to his apartment, his son is MIA.  Jack heads to his ex-wife’s (?) house, extracting its key from under a White Rabbit statute (yet another Alice in Wonderland reference).  Upon listening to his son’s answering machine, Jack learns that David has snuck off to a conservatory for an admissions audition.

Jack rushes to the conservatory, arriving just in time to hear his son play piano.  He beams with pride at his son’s clearly gifted musical talent.  As Jack watches from the wings, another father compliments David’s talents, and, noting the boy’s youth, asks how long he has been playing.  Wait a minute . . . we know that dad!  It’s . . .

POISON PILL GIVER, DOGEN!

Jack honestly admits that he doesn’t know how long his son has been playing. 

Something is definitely fishy here . . . 

Meeting up with David outside the Conservatory, Jack asks his son why the latter never told him about the audition.  David explains that, when he was younger, Jack was very intense about David’s piano lessons.  David feared Jack would see him as a failure if he didn’t perform perfectly at the audition.

Heartened by this confession, Jack tells David how Jack’s own father once told him that he “didn’t have what it takes” to succeed in medicine.  Jack explains to David that he loves him and could never ever consider him a failure.  Father and son both get a bit teary eyed, and it really feels as though Jack has righted his own father’s wrongs through this exchange.  Perhaps that was the whole point  . . .

 . . . and then comes the carcass in the baby carriage!

“HELLLLLP MEEEEE!”

Back on Lost island, Claire frees a very freaked out Jin from the bear trap in which he was caught last week.  She then expertly stitches up his wounded legs and takes him to her makeshift campsite, where she has presumably been living for about three years.  Jin does a bit of snooping here, and finds this really creepy baby basinet with a stuffed animal carcass inside.  I sure hope that’s machine washable . . .

Claire then drags Justin, the remaining living Other who accosted Jin last week, into her camp and ties him up.  With a freshly sharpened ax, Jungle Lady threatens to chop up Justin if he doesn’t tell her where her baby Aaron is.  Justin has no clue, and tells Claire as much.  Unfortunately for Justin, Claire doesn’t believe him.  After all, her father and “her friend” told her that the Others were hiding Aaron inside the temple.  When Claire walks away, Justin pleads with Jin to untie him.  He explains that if they don’t get away, Claire will kill them BOTH. 

Jin initially seems unconvinced.  After all, Claire may have bad hair right now, and poor taste in childrens’ toys, but Jin can’t truly see her harming HIM, a fellow Lostie!  Claire then shows Justin and Jin the scars she has sustained from when the Others tortured and branded her at the temple, presumably using the same technique on HER that Dogen used on Sayid the Maybe Zombie.

Jin comes clean to Claire, explaining that Kate had taken Aaron off the island and had raised him for three years.  Claire thanks Jin.  She then kills Justin, anyway.

“Not very nice, Claire Bear!”

Realizing that Claire is truly off her rocker, and beginning to fear for his friend Kate’s life, Jin takes back his words, explaning that he lied about Kate in an effort to save Justin’s life.  Jin then claims to know where Aaron is hidden, and offers to take Claire there.

Claire tells Jin that if Kate had taken Aaron, she would have killed her.  And just when it seems like things can’t get any weirder or scarier for Jin, “Locke” shows up . . . except he’s not Locke . . . of course.  He’s the Lockness Smokey Monster, a.k.a Claire’s  “friend” who told her that the Others had Aaron.

All Around the Donkey Wheel . . .

While in search of food, Hurley “I Talk to Dead People” Reyes encounters our dearly departed friend Jacob, who is in desperate need of Hurley’s help.  Jacob gives our “unlucky” friend a series of instructions, which the latter dutifully inscribes on his arm.  According to Jacob, Hurley needs to commandeer Jack in a special mission.   To get Jack on board, Hurley must tell Jack that “he has what it takes.”

The two trek off into the sunset, where they eventually come across this . . .

“How come we’ve never seen this before?” Hurley inquires.  (How indeed . . .)

Jack and Hurley trek to the top of the lighthouse and find what appears to be a replica of the infamous donkey wheel from last season, accented by a few mirrors, or “looking glasses,” if you prefer.  Printed around the wheel are a series of names and number similar to the ones Nu-Locke showed Sawyer in the cave during last week’s episode, with some notable differences.  For one thing . . .

Kate’s on the wheel!  She’s number 51!

Hurley instructs Jack to turn the wheel to number 108 (which has next to it the name “Wallace” – Who the heck is Wallace?), and then look in the mirror.  Annoyed that Jacob has refused to speak to Jack in person, Jack turns the wheel instead to his own name and the corresponding number 23.  He then looks in the mirror and is horrified to find his childhood home looking back at him.  In a huff, Jack breaks the mirror and storms out of the lighthouse.

Later, Jacob reappears to a disappointed Hurley who feels as though he failed in his task.  Jacob explains that things are going exactly as planned.  As the coach of Team Jacob, Ghost Man apparently knows exactly what it takes to bend people to his will.  For some, like Hurley, merely asking for a favor is all it takes.  But more stubborn folks like Jack, however, need to come to certain conclusions on their own, which is exactly what Jack appears to be doing at the end of this unbelievably complex episode.

So, what did you think of The Lighthouse?  Have you joined Team Jacob yet?  Were you relieved to find Kate’s name on the wheel?  Do you know where I can get a cool hairdo like Claire’s?

 

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Lost and Zombies – A Recap of “What Kate Does”

You know how when you were a little kid, and you were absolutely certain you were going to have a snow day, so you stayed up late and skimped on your homework in anticipation of the big event?  Well, unfortunately, I am no longer a student.  And, as for a snow day, it could be the Apocalypse, and they still wouldn’t close my office.  Yet, I have decided to embrace my inner naughty girl and stay up late to type up this Lost recap. 

So here goes . . .

Kate in Flash-Sideways Land

“Curiouser and curioser .  . .”

When we last left Kate, back in alt-2004, she had just landed safely at LAX, given U.S. Marshal Edward Mars the slip, and hijacked a taxi that contained within it a very pregnant Claire.  In the episode’s opening scene, Kate holds the taxi driver at gunpoint and directs him out of the airport.  (By the way, I loved the random Midnight Cowboy reference inserted into this scene by the infamous dead-in-another- timeline Lostie, Doctor Arzt.  “Hey, I’m walking here!”   – Classic!)

Soon after the trio makes a getaway, the cowardly taxi driver jumps out of the cab and heads for the hills, leaving Claire to fend for herself.  (Even in Alt World, chivalry is apparently dead.)  Kate then forces Claire to give up her purse, and kicks her out of the cab. 

(Bad Kate!  Claire is so taking down your medallion number.  You will NEVER drive a cab in this town again!) 

Next, Kate heads to a car repair shop and pays the auto mechanic $200 to remove her handcuffs.  I’m not exactly sure where she got the money, seeing as most people don’t exactly carry cash on the way to the slammer.  Plus, Runaway Claire seemed pretty poor, so I doubt this money was hers.  However, I digress . . .

Later, as Kate is digging through Claire’s purse, she finds a stuffed whale, some baby paraphenalia, and a polaroid of the pregnant Claire, which presumably Claire planned to give to her adoptive parents so that her son would one day know his biological mother.  Struck with feelings of guilt (or deja vu), Kate drives the cab back to the bus stop where Claire is waiting.  Once there, Kate learns that Claire was supposed to be picked up at the airport by her son’s soon-to-be adoptive parents, but they never showed. 

Kate offers to give Claire a ride.  Genius Claire then agrees to get back in the taxi cab with the lunatic escape prisoner who held her at gunpoint and stole her purse.  Only on television will such acts of “bravery” NOT  leave you with a bullet lodged in your skull.

“Way to go, smarty pants!”

When Kate and Claire arrive at the home of the prospective adoptees, a nervous Claire asks Kate to go into the house with her.  Kate reluctantly agrees, and the two knock on the door.  A disheveled woman, eyes puffy from tears, explains that her husband has just left her and that she cannot raise a baby on her own.  Claire responds by going into labor right on this woman’s porch.  That’ll teach you to call first, before canceling your baby adoption plans!”

The most helpful convict ever, Kate drives Claire to the hospital and checks in with her, using an assumed name.  In ICU, Claire is cared for by none other than . . .  DR.  CREEPY MC-OTHER, ETHAN ROM!

There’s nothing McDreamy about this guy . . .

Dr. Creepy McOther tells Claire that she is far enough along to give birth.  However, if she doesn’t want to do that just yet, Creepy McOther can shoot her up with a lot of drugs and somehow postpone the birth.  If you recall, Creepy McOther kidnapped Claire on the island and shot her up with drugs there too.  In her second “super smart” move of the evening, Claire chooses the drugs . . . again.

NOOOOOOOO!  DON’T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As if to protest her AWFUL decision, the baby heart monitor starts going haywire.  “Is Aaron going to be OK?”  Claire inquires frantically.

Instantly, both she and Kate flinch, as if recalling that, in alternate timeline, Claire’s child is actually named Aaron.  This is clearly a weird situation.  After all, in this timeline, Claire would have no reason to name her baby, as she planned on giving it up for adoption as soon as it was born.  Spooky! 

Eventually the monitors calm down.  Soon after, a couple of federal agents come looking for Kate, who is hiding nearby.  Claire covers for Kate, and the obviously-not-too-bright agents take their leave without asking too many questions.  Apparently, the agents and Claire share an IQ.

Kate thanks Claire for her generosity (or stupidity, depending on how you see it).  She then tells Claire that she should keep the baby.  Claire responds by offering Kate her credit card to be used during the remainder of her time on the run.  Quite a good team, these two.  In fact, they remind me of another female duo I used to know and love . . .

And we all know how that ended . . .

Jagged Little Pill

Back in the present day island world, Sayid has just come back from the dead, and Miles and Hurley have a few questions for him.    Miles wonders if Sayid saw the infamous white light.  Unfortunately, Sayid only remembers being shot and nothing more.  “You aren’t a zombie are you?”  Hurley inquires.

“No, I’m not a zombie,” Sayid answers straight-faced.

“OK.  We’ll be in the food court,” replies Hurley, before he and Miles exit stage left.

Could I just say, that these two have the best television bromance since Boston Legal’s Alan Shore and Denny Crane.  If they had their own show, I would totally watch.

Hugo “Hurley” Reyes and Miles Straume star in “We See Dead People.”  Coming Soon . . .

Mysterious Other-Others, Lennon and Dogen, also have some questions for the undead Sayid.  Unfortunately, they are interrupted in their interrogation, when a very angry Sawyer holds them and their minions at gunpoint.  Turns out our hot and tormented friend wants to blow this popsicle stand . . . and fast.  Knowing that Sawyer means business, Lennon and Dogen let him go, but then send two of their cronies out into the jungle to retrieve him.  To protect Sawyer and ensure his safety, Kate and Jin offer to go with these two men.

Kate gives the Others the slip and soon finds Sawyer at the Dharma cabin where he and Juliet played house with eachother in the past.  A heartbroken Sawyer confides in Kate that he feels responsible for Juliet’s death, since she wanted to leave the island and he hadn’t let her.  Had she left the island when she wanted to do so, she may have lived.  He then pulls out a ring and tells Kate that he had planned to ask Juliet to marry him.  Sawyer tosses the ring into the river, while a conflicted and still lovestruck Kate looks on in anguish . . .

Back at the temple, Lennon and Dogen take former torturer Sayid and . . . torture him, by prodding him with a burning hot poker and submitting him to some weird electroshock-type therapy.  “Why did you do this to me?” Sayid inquires.

“It was a test.  You passed,” explains Lennon.

After, Sayid leaves, however, Lennon and Dogen make it very clear that Sayid has, in fact,  failed the “test.”  Lennon then tells Jack that Sayid is “infected.”  He asks that Jack give Sayid a large silver pill to “save him.” 

A distrustful Jack asks Lennon what is in the pill, but answers are not forthcoming.  When Jack confronts Sayid about all this, Sayid agrees to take the pill if Jack thinks he should, because Sayid trusts Jack.

Still uncertain as to the right path, Jack confronts Dogen once again.  In a bold and impulsive act that is decidedly un-Jack, the Good Doc takes the pill himself.  A frantic Dogen heimlichs the pill out of Jack’s mouth instantly, and quickly explains that it contains poison.  “Why do you want to kill Sayid?”  Jack asks incredulously.

According to Lennon and Dogen, Sayid has a sickness, and once it enters his heart, the old Sayid will be completely “lost.”  When Jack asks how they know this, Lennon replies, “Because the same thing happened to . . .”

(Now at this point, I expected Lennon to say “Ben.”  After all, when Kate and Sawyer brought the young Ben to the temple to be healed from his bullet wound, Richard Alpert explained that once healed, he would “lose all innocence.”  So, it would make sense for Lennon to use Ben’s name.  But instead he says . . . )

 . . . “your sister.”

CLAIRE???????

Remember a few seasons back when Claire was rescued from a massive explosion at the Dharma compound with nothing but a splitting headache?  She then abandoned her baby in the middle of the night, and was never seen or heard from again, until an eerily calm, almost ghostlike, version of her appeared to Locke in Jacob’s cabin.  Suddenly, everything started to make sense . .

AHA!

In the final scene, the Other minions find and recapture Jin in the jungle.  Chip-On-His-Shoulder Minion looks as if he is about to shoot poor Jin, when shots ring out.  Both Other minions instantly fall down dead.  Jin looks up, confused, as an emotionless, gun-wielding, Claire steps out into view . . .

So what did you think?  Are Sayid and Claire really zombies?  Are the Losties ever going to get off the island in the present day?  Would you watch a buddy crime investigation show staring Miles and Hurley?

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A “Blast” from the . . . Other Past: A Recap of the FINAL Lost Season Premiere

In a recent recap for Grey’s Anatomy, I wrote that Grey’s was like an old friend to me. And, with 5 seasons under my belt, I also consider Lost among my dear friends. And yet, they are very different, these two buds of mine. You see, Grey’s Anatomy and Lost aren’t exactly hanging out together at parties. After all, Grey’s is that annoyingly pretty and popular friend you have that’s a little bit needy, more than a bit self absorbed, and always seems to be whining about her cheating boyfriend.

(“McDreamy is so going in my burn book . . .”)

Lost, on the other hand, is kind of a nerd. He likes to read comic books and obscure science fiction texts. He engages you in endless conversations about time travel and the philosophy of life. He’s constantly nodding and winking at you about inside jokes the two of you have together . . . even if you don’t really understand all of them. In short, he’s Hurley.

Tonight’s two hour season premiere of Lost did not disappoint. It introduced us to some new faces (the Other Others), and reintroduced some old ones (Boone! Yippee! Charlie and Claire! Yay! Flight Attendant Cindy and those kiddies from the tail section . . . ummm . . . OK). It answered some questions. (We know what was in Hurley’s guitar case! We know how they healed young Ben Linus! We know who the Smoke Monster is!).

It asked some others. (What’s the deal with Alt World? Where did Jack’s dad’s coffin and John Locke’s knife set go?) And, of course, it pointed and winked at us a lot, with inside jokes . . . some of which we actually understood!

(“Oh that Hurley, he’s such a jokester!”)

It would be WAY too ambitious for me to even begin to cover everything that went on in this episode. Therefore, I’m simply going to review a few key plot points, by highlighting some of the episode’s more quotable moments.

Juliet: “It Worked.”

For a few seasons now, we have known that time travel has a lot to do with the mysteries of Lost island. What we didn’t know was what theory of time travel Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof had chosen to dominate their universe. Is time linear, such that any change you make in the past, causes a ripple or butterfly effect in future?

(“Go away Ashton! They didn’t choose “The Butterfly Effect.” So there!)

Or is time fractalized, so that every potential outcome of every event in our lives is played out in full in some alternate world? Based on this episode, it appears that Lindelof and co. have opted for the latter theory. Juliet’s setting off of the hydrogen bomb during the 1970’s began a new timeline. 

In this new timeline, the island was never made electromagnetically volatile.  Therefore, Desmond was never needed to press the infamous hatch button to prevent explosions.  Subsequently, he never neglected to do so.  Hence, Oceanic Flight 815 never crashed back in 2004.

In Alt World, Hurley considered himself “the luckiest man in the world.” Boone tried to rescue his sister from her boyfriend, but “she didn’t want to be rescued.” And Desmond was a Flight 815 passenger. Quite a unique place, that Alt World.

(See? Boone isn’t really dead. He’s merely turned into Vampire Damon from The Vampire Diaries . . .)

And yet, Jack and the rest of the Losties remained on the island after the incident . . . except in the present day. Thus, at least two distinct timelines are going on concurrently.

Before Juliet died after the “bomb incident,” she muttered some things to Sawyer about going out for coffee and “touching.” She had a big goofy smile on her face when she said all this. Juliet then told Sawyer she had something very important to tell him. Unfortunately, she never got the chance to say it . . . at least while she was alive.   When “I Speak to Dead People” Guru Miles communicated with her posthumously, Juliet reportedly informed him that, “It worked.”

My take on this? Somewhere in the Alt World timeline, Juliet, who perhaps, like the rest of the Losties, never made it to the island in this timeline, meets Sawyer and hits it off with him.  Because she was about to lose her life in her current timeline, Juliet was able to catch a brief glimpse of the alternative timeline, where she continues to exist.

Charlie: “I was supposed to die.”

In Alt World, Doctor Jack Shepard is called on to help an unconscious passenger in the airplane bathroom.  It ends up being Charlie, and when Jack clears out his airway passages to help him breathe, he finds a heroine-filled balloon.  Bad Charlie! What would Claire think? 

Once conscious, Charlie is by no means grateful to the Good Doc for saving his life, and utters the above-referenced line before being placed in handcuffs.  But why did he say this? Is it possible that people in Alt World retain some memory of their other existences? Juliet’s behavior back on the island, as well as Jack’s sense of déjà vu while on the plane, would seem to suggest that this is the case.  After all, on Lost island, Charlie too knew that he was meant to die . . .

 Jack: “Nothing is irreversible.”

In Alt World, Jack lands safely in L.A. only to find that his father’s coffin has not.  While waiting in customs, he comes upon a wheelchair-bound Locke, who’s knife collection was also lost mid flight.  When Jack inquires about Locke’s paralysis, the latter smiles ruefully, and explains that his condition is irreversible.  An unusually optimistic Jack passes Locke his business card before uttering the above-referenced line.  And perhaps he is telling the truth . . .

After all, in a single episode we have already seen any number of people coming back from the dead . . . which is, after all, the ultimate irreversible.

Head of the Other-Others: “Your friend is dead.”

With Sayid quickly bleeding out, Ghost Jacob, who was recently murdered by Ben at the behest of Not-Locke, informs Hurley that he must bring Sayid to “the Temple” in order to save his life.  Hurley and the gang comply and are met with the Other-Others and Cindy, the flight attendant from the plane.  We recognize the temple as the same place where young Ben, also near death at the time, was taken and revived. Other-Others want to kill the Losties until Hurley informs them that he is following Jacob’s orders.

To prove his point, Hurley shows them the guitar case Jacob left for him.  As it turns out, the guitar case contains a giant onyx with a message for the Other-Others regarding the importance of keeping the Losties alive.  Surprisingly, as Kate says, “These Others are actually trying to protect us.”  The question is how effective are they as protectors? Sayid is taken into the Temple and held under some muddy-looking water.  However, once the Other-Others have finished doing there thing, Sayid still looks pretty dead, and the Head of the Other-Others proclaims as much.  And yet, at the episode’s conclusion, Sayid miraculously awakens. But is it the same Sayid we know and love? Only time will tell . . .

Non-Locke: “I want the one thing the real Locke didn’t. I want to go home.”

After getting Ben to kill his nemesis Jacob, turning into the Smoke Monster and killing Jacob’s body guards, and decking the never-aging Richard Alpert, Non-Locke was pretty tired from his busy day. So, he took some time to wax poetic with Ben about the fate of the world.  In doing so, he discusses the sorry fate of the real John Locke, who in present day is dead and in Alt World is still paralyzed.  Either way, being the real John Locke kind of sucks right now.  For his sake can only hope that Jack is right and “nothing is irreversible.”

And there you have it.  The Final Season of Lost has begun in earnest.  And I don’t plan on getting much sleep until it’s over . . but that is a good thing!

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