Tag Archives: schizophrenic

The Girl Who Cried Wolf (and Beeeeeeeelllll!) – A Recap of True Blood’s “Night on the Sun”

Aww, don’t cry, Sookie!  You’ll get to eat your Taco Beeeeelll soon enough.

Bite me, Sookeh!

For me, this week’s installment of True Blood can really be broken down into two parts:  the touchy feely, first part, where the entire cast had a good cry, conquered their nightmares, and got in touch with their respective femine sides; and the AWESOME second part, where everybody went commando (in more ways then one!), got dirty, fought, screwed and killed, one another (usually in that order).

That being said, there was ONE part of the second half of this week’s True Blood that truly saddened me . . .

No!  I’m not talking about the absence of Lorena and her Ribcage Hat (though that saddened me too)!  I’m talking about the loss of someone VERY special.

Dear sweet, Talbot!  Oh, how I’ll miss your zany temper tantrums and scrumptious blood gelato!

On that sad note, what do you say, we all dry our tears, and get on with this recap.  This way, we can get to the good stuff (a.k.a. the killing and screwing) faster?  Talbot would have wanted it that way . . .

“Sookie, are you brain damaged?”

“Well, gosh, Jason!  I don’t know.  Why don’t you ask my boyfriend who I took back for a good lay, after he dumped me, screwed a crazy b&tch vampire behind my back, and drained me of all my blood, nearly killing me?” 

“Well, seeing as I only drained her neck and chest, her brain should be pretty much in tact.  Then again, she does share some of your genes, Jason . . . and she did take my lame ass back at the end of the episode.  So, who knows?”

This episode pretty much begins where the last one left off.  Sookie is screaming her head off at the sight of Taco Bill, who has just saved her life by inserting some of his blood into her hospital IV.  (Nevermind the fact, that she wouldn’t even BE in the hospital if it wasn’t for him!) 

While Jason is pondering his sister’s post-accident “lack of intelligence” (pot calling kettle much?),  Alcide immediately jumps in to defend Sookie from Bill.  And it is SUPER hot!  “I don’t take orders from VAMPS!”  The big meaty hunk of man answers, after the scrawny pale-faced Vampire Bill tells him to sit down.

Please allow me a moment to retrieve my panties from the floor . . .

(Don’t get me wrong.  I always have been, and always will be, a Team Eric member.  But would a short-term stopover at Sexy Alcide be such a bad thing?  I think not!  After all, our Sookie has all eternity to spend with the Big Viking.  And as for Alcide?  Well, even the shortest of flings can seem like a long happy marriage in DOG YEARS!)

Cake topper for the Herveaux – Stackhouse Wedding. 

Once everybody has calmed down a bit, Sookie asks to speak with Dollar Menu Item Bill alone.  The gang reluctantly leave the room.  Two of the world’s smallest violins begin to play simultaneously, as these two perform their respective “It’s not you, it’s me,” breakup monologues.

 

“From the day we met, it’s been one big bloody fight,” blubbers Sookie, snot running attractively from her nose.  “I keep waiting for it to be normal, but you keep giving me indigestion with your fake meat, Taco Man  it’s never going to be normal with us, is it?”

“I want you to have the life you deserve, and I can’t give it to you,” whines Bill, his mascara bloody tears running down his cheeks, making him look a bit like this  . . .

 . . . give or take 100 years . . .

With nothing left to say, Bill removes the IV from his hand, and exits the hospital, leaving a hysterical Sookie in his wake, and and open IV tube dripping V on the floor . . .

“Sookie, may I clean your floor with my tongue?”

“They killed my COOTER!”

“Gourmet, it isn’t.   But it sure beats Taco Beeeeellll!”

“In more ways than one . . .”

Speaking of the now Cooter-less, Trash O’Deb, she is back at Russell’s mansion, begging the Big Gay Vampire King of Mississippi for the opportunity to seek vengeance on Sookie for butchering her private par . . . um . . . boyfriend.  Unfortunately, Big Gay Russell already has his hands full.  Upon marrying Russell, Queen Sophie Anne has decided to move into his mansion, along with, her girl toy Hadley, and all of their personal belongings.  This was a TERRIBLE choice, in my opinion.  After all, Sophie’s Anne’s original digs seemed significantly larger and WAY more impressive than Russell’s . . .

 .  . . no offense, Talbot.

Speaking of Talbot, he is none too pleased about these new living arrangements.  Nor is he happy with the news that Russell murdered the magister, or that Kingy will once again be leaving the castle, this time to hunt down Sookie Glow Fingers.  Fortunately for Talbot (or, unfortunately, as we will see later), Eric has returned, to save the day, his blue panty dropper sweater, only slightly soiled with bits of Magister brain . . .

 . . . which is precisely why I told him to take it off . . .

“I’ll keep Talbot company,” offers Eric.

But Vampire Russell is still skeptical (as it turns out, with good reason).  He is not sure he can trust the Sexy Viking.

So, Vampire Eric launches into the world’s sappiest, most over dramatic, faux Shakespearean monologue of all time.  While on his knees, no less, Eric waxes poetic about how Russell is the true leader he’s been waiting for for a thousand years, and how much he wants to serve him, and blah, blah, blah .  . .  I just threw up in my mouth a little thinking about it.

But, apparently, Big Gay King Russell has an ego the size of Mississippi.  This Idiot actually buys all of Eric’s crap, and promptly heads on his merry way over to Bon Temps.  That night, Eric, who LUUUUUUVES Sookie . . .

 (even though he has pretended not to and been a total tool to her for the past couple of episodes)  . . . promptly sends her a warning message, overnight delivery, by Fedex, Sookie’s cousin, Hadley.

The message:  “Russell is coming.  Don’t trust Beeeeeeeell!”

Sookie is happy to see her cousin, but assumes there’s not much she can do about Russell coming, because whereever she goes, he’s probably going to find her anyway.  As Hadley rushes from Sookie’s house, Sookie overhears through Hadley’s thoughts that Russell and Eric now know what Sookie is . . . even though Sookie still thinks she’s an alien.

Soo-kie phone home!

“If I was smart, I would have fallen in love with someone like you [Alcide].”

“Damn straight, Glow Fingers!”

While Eric is protecting Sookie’s interests across statelines, her harem of men is doing the same thing at home.  BFFs Andy and Jason, the best 1 and 1/2 cop duo around, arrive at Sookie house immediately after she was released from the hospital, with offers to press charges against Burrito Brain Bill, for deflating her like a popped balloon . . .

“Why does it suddenly smell like tacos in here?  Must be Sookie’s new blood.”

When Sookie refuses to press charges, like the futured battered wife she is (“He didn’t mean it!”  She coos.), Andy and Jason leave, but not before Jason vows to go all Rambo on Vampire Bill’s ass!

“Welcome to the Gun Show, Breakfast Burrito!”

Alcide wants to stay and protect Sookie too, but he has to go back to Jackson because his character wasn’t officially made into a series regular until Season 4 he needs to protect his family from Trailer Trash Debbie.

Sigh!

“Sookie, you are tougher than a one-eared alley cat,” he begins . . .  (Ummm, you may be hot Alcide, but you sure are BAD at coming up with analogies.  And I’m not the only one who thinks so . . .)

Alcide, I think you’ve made it angry . . .

“I just hate to leave you alone, during all this,” Alcide concludes, brushing his hands lovingly across Sookie’s face, and running his fingers through her hair, as she gazes dreamily into his eyes.  (MAN!  I’m jealous!  Now I know how Trailer Trash Debbie feels!)

Following Tara’s request that Alcide “flirt some sense into her” . . .

“And all these seasons, you thought I was a sh*tty friend!  I’m trying to get you laid by a non-corpse, Sookie!  That’s love!”

Alcide returns for a quickie to Sookie’s house to say goodbye.  After admitting that they would be better off together then with the blood drinking wackadoos they both love currently, the almost-couple share an almost-kiss that.  Said almost-kiss, in my opinion, is ten times hotter than the porn fest Sookie engages in with Taco Bill, at the end of the episode.

And then he leaves . . .

“See you in your dreams!”

Speaking of Sookie’s friend, Tara, she’s been suffering a bit of that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, her cousin Lafayette endured during Season 2.  She refuses to talk to anyone about being kidnapped by Franklin Mott; or how he almost made her into his Vampire Bride; or how she made HIM into chop suey (or taco meat, whichever you prefer) . . .

Hungry for some Mott’s?

Tara’s nightmares about Franklin range from the pornographic to the violent . . .

 . . . just like Franklin, himself.

“That’s my baby inside of you.”

Tara isn’t the only one having “killer” dreams, Arlene was having them too, only her dreams starred her former fiance, and Season 1’s Big Bad Serial Killer with the kickass fake Cajun accent, Rene Lenier.  “I came to see my baby.  It has my blood, my genes,” taunts Dream Renee, as he ogles Arlene’s near-naked body.    When we found out the baby wasn’t Terry’s a few episodes back, we all assumed it was Renee’s.  Now we know for sure (sort of). 

Once he had successfully frightened the stuffing out of Arlene, Dream Renee woke her up by gently caressing her neck, just like THIS . . .

Arlene’s new choker necklace.

Do you think they test for the “serial killer gene” during an amniocentesis?  For Arlene’s sake, I sure hope so!

“Good riddens, Mommy Mickens!”

In Sam’s trailer trash family news, Sam’s annoying Bio Mom showed up on his porch naked . . .

 .  . . to retrieve her belongings and beg her elder son for money.

Then she left, and Tommy Boy cried . . .

Sorry, wrong Tommy Boy . . . 

THIS GUY cried at the loss of Mommy Mickens.  But True Blood fans did this . . .

Later that evening, little Tommy Mickens made me like him less, by picking on sweet adorable Hoyt . . .

. . . and threatening to kick his ass, for no other reason than that Hoyt used to date Jessica, who Tommy apparently has a crush on.  “She’s got a REAL MAN, now!”  Tommy insists, implying himself.

(Ummm .  . . really?  Maybe you’re a big tough guy in the DOG HOUSE, Tommy, but in the real world, you’re kind of short.  And you look about twelve.  Just saying . . .)

Sam tries to set Tommy right, and get him to start thinking about his future.  But Tommy is cranky and just wants his dog bone.

Chew slow Tommy.  Because THIS is the closest you are going to get to being BONED for a LONG TIME!

“I release you!”

“Cowardly Vampire say what?”

While Sam is working hard to be the father Tommy never had, Vampire Bill is busy treating Jessica like she never HAD a Vampire Father / Maker.   Upon returning home, following a long stay in Jackson, Mississippi, Bill is greeted with open arms by Vampire Jessica.  He rejects her affections almost immediately.  “You can’t stay here.   I can’t look after you, anymore.  I’m no good,”  Bill whines . . .

And there go those violins again . . .

But Jessica refuses to leave.  She explains to Bill how she had lost control and killed that human a little while back, and how she needs Bill’s help to control her vampiric instincts.  (Not that Mr. Messy Sookie Eater is such a good role model in the “self control” department.)

“I’ll go back on my diet, tomorrow.  I promise!”

Jess and Bill then bond over the fact that they have both broken up with the people they love (Hoyt and Sookie, respectively), because they feel they are not good enough to deserve these special humans.  HALF of them are right.  Bet you can’t guess, which half?

Eventually, the two hug it out, and Bill decides to let his “ward” stick around.  He also gives her a little lesson on fighting werewolves .  . . werewolves that will HOPEFULLY look nothing like THIS . . .

Jason Stackhouse is in LOVE . . .

 . . . and so are we . . .

While Bill is teaching Jessica how to fight off werewolves, Jason is working to fight off, whatever the heck it is that Crystal’s family IS.   (If you’ve read the books, you already know.)  Jason is at home, gearing up to kill Bill  . . .

 .  . . for what he did to Sookie, when he is interrupted by a knock on his door.  It’s THIS GIRL!

 . . . except she’s all wet and has this gross bloody eye.  Crystal claims she is being chased down by the members of her community, particularly, Felton, her arranged marriage partner, and future abusive husband.  To get away, she needs Jason’s van.  But Jason gives her his c*ck instead. 

A fair trade, if you ask me . . .

Crystal admits that Felton gave her the bloody eye, when she told him she didn’t want to marry him anymore.  This excites Jason immensely, who sees lots more bunny screwing for him and Crystal, in the near future . . .

However, since he DID promise to protect Crystal and not just f*ck her, Jason heads down to her trailer park to set things right.  There he meets the head of the trailer park, Calvin who more or less threatens his life . . .  I hope all those guns of yours are loaded, Mr. Stackhouse, because you are WAY too pretty to die!

“You are a powerful man.  I need to protect you.”

Now, I don’t know about you, but nothing makes ME feel safer than when a crazy lady waves a steak knife in my face . . .

You know who else should be investing in some weaponry to protect himself?  Lafayette.  Our favorite fry cook / V dealer came home from an evening of babysitting Sookie Glow Fingers and PTSD Tara, to find his schizophrenic nutjob of a mom wandering his house, and babbling on about protecting her son from the vampires and other supernatural creatures.  She escaped the mental institution to rescue Lafayette, because of how “powerful” he is.  And when she says powerful, she must mean “powerful in bed,” because moments later, THIS GUY shows up . . .

Sorry, wrong Jesus.  THIS GUY . . .

Jesus wishes to retrive Lafayette’s mother, and return her to the loony bin where she clearly belongs.  The pair chat some more about how bad it is that Lafayette deals V.  But before you know it, the two of them are going at it like rabbits . . .

“I’m bored.   Take off your clothes.”

“Going at it like bunnies.”  That was exactly what Talbot wanted to do with Vampire Eric, when he got tired of playing chess with him.  “I’m bored.  Take off your clothes,” demands Talbot, like the simpering toddler he is.

Eric complies, feigning a bit of shyness as he removes his Panty Dropper Blue Sweater.  “I’ve never done this before,” admits Eric.

“With another man?”  Talbot asks.

“No with another vampire,” replies Eric.

The two start “riding the pony” . . .

 . . . and getting comfortable with one another, when Eric finally urges Talbot to lay down on his stomach.  When Talbot complies, Eric stakes the poor bastard, but not before dramatically monologuing so that the poor schlub is absolutely certain he is about to meet his maker .  . . his OTHER maker.  “King Russell, you killed my family, and now I am going to kill yours,” yells Eric, as he plunges a stake into Talbots back repeatedly and fatally.

“NOOOOOOOO!”  Talbot screamed, just before he died.

“NOOOOOOO!”  TV Recapper screamed, knowing she was out one prospective interior decorator for her future home.

Goodbye, Talbot, you will always be my favorite Mississippi Queen!

But now that Talbot is gone, we must return our focus to Vampire Eric, who is now covered in his blood.  Might I suggest a bath to cleanse you of your sins, Mr Viking?

Or a shower, perhaps?

“Get out of my house, B&TCH!”

In the last few moments of the episode, Trailer Trash Debbie . . .

 .  . . and her werewolf cronies, arrive at Sookies house.   While Sookie LITERALLY wrestles with Debbie on the ground, Vampire Bill and Vampire Jessica arrive on the scene to handle the werewolf cronies.    But just when a proud Vampire Jessica is about to make her first werewolf kill, Big Gay Russell magically appears and grabs her by the neck . . .

“Us vampires travel fast, lots of frequent flier miles.”

Russell offers to give up Vampire Jessica in exchange for Sookie.  Bill is torn, for a moment, between sacrificing his lover and his “child.”  Fortunately, he doesn’t end up having to make this decision, because Jessica gets away, with her werewolf in hot pursuit.   Now evenly matched, Russell and Bill begin to literally fight over Sookie.  Just when it seems as though Bill might be done for, Russell “feels” the death of Talbot, and “flies away.”  No .  . . really.  Debbie then randomly ditches her fight with Sookie too. 

 In the last few seconds, of the episode, Bill and Sookie reunite.  As the credits begin to role, they are screwing hardcore on Sookie’s bedroom floor.  And while the scene is admittedly hotter than that time a dirty naked Bill got down with Sookie on top of some coffins in the cemetery, it still doesn’t quite “do it” for me.

Then again, what do I know?  I’m just a fan.  I can’t always expect to have my Taco Beeelll, and eat it too . . .

[www.juliekushner.com]

14 Comments

Filed under True Blood

They’re Bringing Sexy Back! YEAH! – A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Shiny Happy People”

These are two ACTUAL screencaps.   Both were taken from the first FIVE MINUTES of Thursday night’s Grey’s Anatomy.  You’re welcome.

After last week’s cringe-tastic, surgery heavy, UGLY episode . . . thanks to which, I will never view this image in the same way EVER again . . .

. . . it was really nice to see Grey’s getting back to it’s roots this week — You know, surgery-lite;  mushy-gushy relationship stuff / shirtless men HEAVY.  I don’t know about you, but I tend to prefer my Grey’s simple and super girly.  And a girly Grey’s was exactly what I got!

“Give me an E – S -T -R- O -G -E-N!  What’s that spell?”

Couples really took center stage during this episode of Grey’s.  Heck, even this week’s medical mysteries featured “couples” of some sort.  Well . . . except for ONE medical mystery . . .

WOAH!  This Disney Chick can ACT . . .  so well that I can almost forgive her for that Princess Protection Program movie . . .

 . . . ALMOST.

So, what are we waiting for?  Let’s get on with this girly boink-fest!

We’re Having a Party . . . Everybody’s Slutty!

The episode began with a PARTY at the Mer and Der House!  It was a party to celebrate McDreamy!

For what reason, I am not entirely sure . . . for being Chief, I guess.  The only problem was . . . it wasn’t a very good fiesta.  Karev, perhaps, said it best when he remarked, “This party blows.”

For one thing, everyone looked all stuffy and uncomfortable, in their suits and “business casual” dresswear, i.e. dowdy dresses, that don’t show anything above the knee.  Who the heck has house parties like this?  Your grandpa, that’s who!  And that’s when it suddenly occurred to me.  Our Greysies are getting OLD!

It’s TRUE!  Meredith proved it, when she said, “At my parties, we drank tequila and danced on tables!”  

And that was true . .  FIVE SEASONS AGO . . .

Remember the Boozy Slutty Dysfunctional Meredith of Season 1?  Good times!

But it’s not true now!  The one good thing about the party, was that it offered us this lovely picture, of our suave and suited Grey’s men, sipping scotch and poring over floor plans . . .

How very Ocean’s 11 of them!  Not this Ocean’s 11, mind you . . .

 . . . more like this one . . .

See what I mean . . . about the OLD?

Anyway, things improved quickly, when we LEFT the party and were delivered NOT ONE, BUT TWO, shirtless prelude-to sex scenes . . .  The first one was between Bailey and her latelyMIA Gas Man . . .

Remember him?  If you didn’t before, I bet you won’t forget him NOW!

The second scene, not-so-surprisingly, featured Mark “I-Get-More-Play-Than-A Slot-Machine-In-Vegas” Sloan.

What was surprising, was who he was with.  It wasn’t his current girlfriend, Teddy, nor his ex-girlfriend, Lexie.  Nor was he with his “friends with benefits” gal pal, the recently single, Callie.  Nope, Sloan was with . . .

 . . . that annoying pixie-haired Mercy Wester chick, who hasn’t been around for half the season? 

Ummm . . . yeah, so McSteamy is coming out of the shower all steamy, after what was probably a fairly tepid round of lovemaking with Slutty but Boring Doc Reed, when, who walks in and catches them post-coitus? 

You guessed it, his current girlfriend TEDDY!  To Sloan’s credit, he doesn’t do that thing you see in romantic comedies, where the guy gets caught in the act of cheating, and he starts jumping around like a jack rabbit, sputtering, “It’s NOT what you think!”  (When it always is exactly THAT!) 

Instead, he INVITES TEDDY TO JOIN THEM!

Way to go McSteamy!  You may be a mental midget when it comes to the ways of women, but you sure are COOL!

Unfortunately, the producers cut away from the scene, before we can find out if Teddy accepts the proposition, but I’m thinking . . . NOT!  Truth be told, Teddy is only interested in one threesome, and one threesome only .  . . this one.

News Flash Cristina Yang, Owen is Just Not That Into You . . .

Hey, Yang!  Wanna join my book club?  We’re reading one that you will LOVE!

Speaking of the World’s Most Unhappy Threesome Ever, while Teddy is being cheated on by Mark, Owen is impulsively asking a drunk Cristina to move in with him, “because my therapist said it was a good idea.”  Now if that’s not a ringing endorsement for romance, folks, I don’t know what is! 

Cristina instantly AGREES to this lame proposition, and I start to wonder whether the majority of her brain cells are housed in her scrubs.  After all, it seems like such an uncharacteristically DUMB move on the part of a woman who, normally, is one of the most intelligent characters on this show.  Then again, it wouldn’t be the first time that a man made Cristina do less than brilliant things . . .

EEEVILL!

 Meredith overhears this exchange, and is again faced with the moral crisis she dealt with last week.  You see, Meredith is convinced that Owen’s failure to follow Cristina’s wishes, and help Teddy keep her job, was incontrovertible evidence that Owen is secretly in love with Teddy.

“I LOVE YOU . . . so I tried to get you fired.  My therapist said it was a good idea . . .”

 So, on one hand, she owes it to her BFF Cristina to let her know that her boyfriend is a poopy head .  . .

.  . . and, like all poopy, deserves to be unceremoniously dumped.  On the other hand, the information she learned about Owen, came from Derek, and the confidentiality requirements associated with Post-It Note Marriages, are SERIOUS!

Nothing says loving like Sticky Paper, purchased in a 150-note multicolored pack (2 for $3.00!) at CVS . . .

So, Meredith decides to play King Solomon and split the baby . . .

 . . . instead of outright telling Cristina about her poopy head boyfriend, she drops annoyingly coy hints of his emotional infidelity, throughout the episode.  Initially, Cristina, who has always been a “shoot the messenger” type gal, gets pissed at Meredith, and denies that such infidelity exists.  However, with the seeds of doubt successfully planted, and love triangles seeming to haunt her wherever she goes, Christina starts to question the nature of her relationship with Owen. 

Ultimately, in a really great scene, Meredith confronts Owen about his feelings for Teddy.  Meredith explains to Owen, that if he is a “good guy,” he will come clean to Cristina about his throwing Teddy under the bus, when her job was on the line, and then lying about it.  In true Grey’s fashion, Teddy, of course, overhears all of this.  But to her credit, no trace of a sh&t-eating grin can be found on her face, upon hearing the good news.

Nor does she break into song, belting out, “You really LIKE me!  You think I’m SEXY!  You want to DATE me!”

Color me impressed.  Ultimately, Owen confesses his lie to Cristina.  And when she outright asks him whether he is in love with Teddy, he says, articulately, “I don’t know.”  (Perhaps he should get a new therapist.  Because, clearly, the one he has now is not doing a good job, writing his “lines” for him.)

At the end of the episode, in a scene highly reminiscent of early Grey’s, a torn-up Cristina crawls into bed with Meredith and admits that she and Owen are no longer moving in together.  Meredith changes the subject, but does so in a sweet way, by showing Cristina the plans for her and Derek’s house in the woods, where there is a separate room for Cristina to crash whenever she find herself in need of a hug . . .

Awww!

Relationships are like ducks . . .

Things were going significantly better for new couple, Alex and Lexie, this week, at least, on the surface.  After expending WAY too much mental energy on the recent sexual rendezvous of her ex- Sloan, especially, for a person who claims to be “over him,” Lexie decides it might be a good idea to issue Alex an ultimatum on the state of their sort-of relationship.  And, while normally, such an ultimatum, would have sent Alex running for the hills . . .

Running shirtless .  . . (Oh come on, as if a picture like that EVER needs a proper recap tie-in to be included!)

 . . . New and Improved Alex responds by making out with Lexie in public AGAIN.  Once they are done swapping spit with one another, he tells her.  “Yeah, we are a thing.  Whatever.”  (OK, I’m thinking that Owen’s inarticulate therapist is writing Alex’s lines too.  How about you?)

Later, when Meredith questions Alex about the nature of his relationship with Lexie, he explains that he is acting like . . . a duck.

Because ducks are sexy . . . (Awesome pic “borrowed” from marginalnotes btw)

Although the metaphor was, admittedly, a bit unclear, I think Alex was referring to the whole, “If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and acts like a duck, it’s probably a duck” thing.  In other words, act like you are in a healthy relationship, and soon you will actually find yourself in one.  Ummm . . . yeah, I’m not so sure about that, Alex . . .

And apparently, Lexie isn’t so sure either.  When Mark professes his love to her, at the end of the episode, Lexie doesn’t immediately jump his bones, but she doesn’t put up much of a fight either.  “I have a boyfriend,” says Lexie, half-heartedly.

“But I’m telling you that you could have a husband,” replies Most-Articulate-Male-of-this-Episode, Mark (maybe more like a Dad than a husband, but, like Alex says, “Whatever”).

It’s definitely a May – December Romance.  But in terms of “couple names,” “Sexie” TOTALLY kicks “Lalex”‘s butt!

So they’ve got that going for them, at least.

The Medical Stuff

You know what was really interesting about this week’s three “medical mysteries?”  They all got SOLVED!

 . . . and NOBODY DIED!

 . . . and that burn victim chick got her hair back!

It was the happiest hospital day EVER at Seattle Grace!  First, we got to meet an awesome star from Happy Days!

“What?  You were expecting, The Fonz?”

It’s Mommy Marion Ross!  She still looks pretty good!  And, apparently, I wasn’t the only one who thought so!  In a series of events that ONLY happens on TV, Marion Ross’s character, Betty, is in the hospital, getting  .  . . something done . . . not sure what . . . when she runs into Cute Old Dude Henry, her long lost love, who she hasn’t seen in 50-years. 

 They are eachother’s “one that got a way.”  Now, with no more obstacles standing between them (because all of those obstacles, unfortunately, are now DEAD), Betty and Henry decide to move in together (once they get out of the hospital, of course), and give their relationship a go.  I know, it sounds kind of lame, but it was actually really sweet.  And Cute Old Dude Henry had a voice that sounded like it narrated fairy tales for a living, so that made it even sweeter . . .

We also got to meet a burn victim in the hospital, who was supposed to get a hair regrafting (she had lost most of it in a car explosion), when she learns that she has an infection on her arm, and needs her fingers amputated.  At first, the doctors tell her that her infection will prevent her from getting the hair regrafting operation.  But then, they decide, RISKS be damned, HAIR IS IMPORTANT! 

And so they do the grafting during the hand amputation.  Of course, had Burn Victim Girl appeared in ANY OTHER episode, aside from this one, this would have been a perfect opportunity for the writers to senselessly kill her off, and manipulate us fans into tears. ( And we know how Grey’s LOVES the tears!)  However, Burn Victim Girl was lucky, because she got to star in an episode entitled “Shiny HAPPY People.”  And because HAPPY people tend to be, more often than not, ALIVE, she got to live too!

Finally, in what was the best “medical mystery” of the episode, Demi Lovato . . .

HEY!  What did I say about referring to that film again?

Sorry . . . Demi Lovato . . .

 . . . enters the hospital as a teen diagnosed with schizophrenia, who was admitted to the hospital after, literally, trying to claw her eyes out!  Everyone at the hospital thinks she’s a TOTAL nutjob, except this guy . . .

Sigh!

Who, instead, assumes she must have some extremely rare disease.  (After all, those have been conveniently traveling around Grey’s in search of likeable guest stars patients since Season 1).  Alex runs some initial tests on the teen, and comes up empty handed.  He then confronts his girlfriend with the photographic memory, Lexie-pedia, with his patient’s symptoms.  Intially, she can’t remember where, in the many medical books she has memorized, she saw the disease.  “Lexie-pedia is FROZEN!”  Alex complains.  (I LOVE HIM!)

But then Lexie remembers that the disease can be found in some obscure medical journal from 2004 with a light green cover.  In the next scene, we watch as Alex outfits the teen in this weird scary head gear, that makes her look like Johnny Five from those old Short Circuit films . . .

As if, on cue, Demi’s eyes go all buggy, and she freaks out.  So, of course, this was all Karev needed to diagnose her as having a small hole in her inner ear, that allowed her to hear everything that was going on inside her body.  YUCK!  Apparently, all this rare disease takes to cure, is a brief operation where the hole is plugged up.  After the operation, we know that Demi is sane again, because she is wearing a bandage around her head that looks like a really stylish headband . . .

Dear Demi,

Now that your “sane,” I’d really like my headband back.

XOXO

Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl

In Other News . . .

 . . . Callie and Arizona shared an impromptu sexy makeout session in the elevator . . .

Ooh, la, la!

But accomplished precisely NOTHING in terms of their relationship . . .

Boo, la, la 😦

Oh, and the Gas Man . . .

This pic NEVER gets old . . .

 . . . told Bailey . . .

 . . . that even though he sometimes flirts with random nurses, he saves all the GOOD flirting for her . . .

Shondra Rhimes, PLEASE don’t make us fall in love with the Gas Man, if you plan to rip him away from us next season, in order to use him on your new pilot!  (Although, I think it might be too late . . . because I’m in love already).

So, there you have it, “Shiny Happy People,” in a nutshell.  This was the LAST new episode of Grey’s before the show airs it’s purportedly “game-changing” two-hour season finale (with the hours entitled “Sanctuary” and “Death and all of His Friends,” respectively) next week.  Media sites have teased that the final two episodes of Season 6, will feature nothing less than a SHOOTING and a fairly major character death.  Here’s a sneak peak at the promo . . .

Thanks for the video, adam9316!

I’ll admit it.  I’m afraid . . . very afraid!  See you next week!

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Grey's Anatomy