Shut up and SING! It’s almost time for Season 2 of Glee!

 

If last Sunday’s Gleek-tastic Emmy opener put you in the mood to watch your favorite show about singing and dancing teens, Glee, well then you’ve come to the right blog post.  Unfortunately, I don’t have quite enough clout in the entertainment world (read: “no clout at all”) to show you episodes from the show’s groundbreaking Second Season, which is set to premiere Tuesday, September 21st, at 8 p.m. on Fox.

However, I DO have plenty of mildly spoilerish intel about the new season, complete with a few pretty pictures, and some relevant YouTube videos. These should tide you over, while you eagerly await the season premiere.

So, what are we waiting for?  Let’s get GLEEK-Y!

For starters, here’s the new promo for the show, which aired just a few days ago on Fox. 

Pretty cool, right?  Now, let’s breakdown what we’ve learned about Season 2 so far . . .

The Episodes

Season 2 of Glee is slated to have 22 episodes.  The first few episodes will air on Tuesday at 8 p.m on Fox.  These early episodes will culminate in a SPECIAL extended episode, which will air following Superbowl XLV.

Following that episode, Glee will move to the much coveted Wednesday at 9 p.m. timeslot.  And, you know what that means?  More sex, drugs, and violence ALLOWED by the censors!

Yes, PLEASE!

So far, the producers of Glee have released titles for the first THREE episodes of Season 2, along with brief synopses of each.  In the first episode, entitled Audition, New Directions will be forced, due to more budget cuts, to bring on additional members — a task that will cause tension between on-again, off-again couple, Rachel and Finn.

Two auditioners likely to “make the cut,” are foreign exchange student Sunshine Corzan, played by YouTube sensation and master songstress of the Philippines, Charice (more on her later)  . . .

 Newbie Sunshine duking it out with Rachel Berry in the school bathroom, to the tune of Beyonce and Lady Gaga’s Telephone.

. . . and transfer student / football jock, Sam Evans (played by Chord Overstreet) . . .

Just like another one of our favorite Gleeks, it appears that Sam’s “talents” will be discovered in the shower.  How convenient for those of us scouring the net for shirtless shots of the actor to use in future recaps.  Just saying . . .

Sam is described by producers as being a protege and eventual rival of Finn’s.  It is also rumored that he may be an upcoming MAJOR love interest for one Kurt Hummel.

The second episode is entitled “Britney / Brittany.”  This one will obviously be the much talked about “Britney Spears-themed episode,” comprised entirely of songs by the aforementioned artist, and featuring a cameo appearance by Spears herself.

Heather Morris (as Brittany) posing with Britney Spears — I can see a resemblance.  Can’t you?

The show’s third episode, entitled “Faith,” will be religous-themed, and feature songs including R.E.M’s “Losing my Religion” . . .

 . . . and Barbara Streisand’s “Papa Can You Hear Me.”

Other episodes airing this Season will include a Rocky Horror Picture Show – themed episode .  . .

 .  . . during which the cast of New Directions will undoubtedly perform the Time Warp dance.

Another episode will feature the cast singing entirely ORIGINAL songs.  There will also be a second Madonna-themed episode.

In the Season 2 finale, the cast will head to  New York City, to compete in the national Glee club competition.  There, they will most likely perform Jay Z and Alicia Keys’ anthem to the Big Apple, “Empire State of Mind.”

“New Directions” for our original Gleeks

If the scoop about Kurt’s new love interest enticed you, there is plenty more where that came from!  Speaking of Kurt, Mike O’Malley, who warmed everybody’s hearts with his performance as Kurt’s Dad, Burt Hummel, has been upgraded to season regular status . . .

. . . as have our two favorite “mean girl” Cheerios (and possible lovers?) Heather Morris (Brittany) and Naya Rivera (Santana) . . .

Our favorite love square, starring Rachel, Finn,  Quinn and Puck, is said to be in full effect next year.  However, a NEW love TRIANGLE will ALSO invade the Glee club.   This one will star, the loveable Artie, quirky goth, Tina, and awesome dancer, Mike Chang.

Sources say that when the season opens, Tina will be dating MIKE, having dumped Artie, due to his poor social skills and frequently rude comments.

New Cast Members and Guest Stars

Earlier in this article, I mentioned the cast additions of Chord Overstreet . . .

 . . . and Charice.

What I DIDN’T mention was that Charice’s character’s singing voice will be SO impressive, that it will enable her to make a play for Rachel Berry’s crown as Queen Bee of New Directions.  Listen to her sing this rather impressive cover of Beyonce’s “Halo” (a song which just so happened to be performed on the show, by Lea Michele’s Rachel Berry last season), and compare for yourself.

Another addition to the cast will be John Stamos . . .

John will be playing that dentist boyfriend of Emma Pillsbury, Carl Howell, who was briefly mentioned last season.

Although I sincerely doubt John will be singing on the show, fans of the oh-so-cheesetastic 90’s sitcom Full House, will likely remember that he CAN, in fact, sing.  This will become evident in the VERY retro clip, below.

Also featured in Season 2 will be Cheyenne Jackson, who’s character will replace Idina Menzel’s Shelby Corcoran as the coach for New Directions’ rivals, Vocal Adrenaline.  Since I am nothing without my journalistic integrity, I’ve decided it is absolutely imperative that I provide you with a picture of Cheyenne in his underwear . . .

You’re welcome.

I will not, however, be providing you with an equally scantily clad photograph of our next new cast member.  Dot Jones will appear as McKinley High’s new football coach, and rival to BOTH Sue and Will Schuester, Shannon Beiste.

Beware of THE BEISTE!

Other Glee guest stars will include Carol Burnett . . .

. . . who will play Mommy to, none other than, Sue Sylvester . . .

Speaking of Sue, Javier Bardem will guest star as one of her exes.

Woah!  Maybe I should start wearing track suits.

Susan Boyle will also guest star as the Singing Lunch Lady.

New Music

Look for songs by Billy Joel . . .

. . . Coldplay . . .

 . . . Paul McCartney . . .

 . . . Courtney Love . . .

 . . .  and Led Zeppelin . . .

. . . to be featured on the show.

Oh, and just in case you CAN’T wait until September 21st to get your Glee fix, the Complete First Season of Glee DVD set will be available for purchase on September 14th.  

You can preorder it (at reduced cost) here.

Of course, September 14th is still over a week away.  Is that too many Glee-less days, for you?  If so, worry not.  Glee: The Beginning, a young adult novel said to function as a prequel for the series, is available in stores, RIGHT NOW!

You can order it, by clicking here.

Not much of a reader?   Low on cash?  That’s OK.  I’ve got something for you too.  To conclude this Glee-themed post, I have provided, for your viewing pleasure, a video of that fabulous Journey Medley, performed by the New Directions, during the Season 1 finale.  And, just in case, you didn’t see it when it first aired, you can find a picturesque recap of the entire episode right here.

Well, that’s all I’ve got, for now.  See you on September 21st!  Until then, happy Gleek-ing out!

[www.juliekushner.com]

Shirtlessness is Godliness – My Take on the Top Ten TV Bods

[WARNING:  On most days, I try to imbue this blog with (moderately) intelligent insights and (sort of) insightful commentary about our pop culture world . . . This is NOT ONE OF THOSE DAYS!  Today is all about objectifying  male television stars, and objectifying them HARD!  So if you happen to be looking for intelligent insights or insightful commentary, you might want to head on over to CNN.com or MSNBC.com — because you won’t find any HERE!]

Are they gone yet?  Good!   Now that we’ve ditched the “mature and responsible adults,” and it’s just us girls, let’s TALK.  Let’s talk about abs of steel, arms of bronze, and skin of silk!  Let’s talk about shoulder blades, belly buttons, backs, butts, and happy trails —  all of it, just barely concealed by tight jeans, strategically placed foliage, soap bubbles, or flimsy peak-a-boo towels!  Ladies, here’s your chance to objectify men, the way they’ve objectified YOU for centuries! 

So, without further adieu, let’s put on our Pink Hard Hats, and DO THIS THING!

When it comes to watching TV, us ladies are LUCKY!  Because, while the FCC simply will NOT allow the exhibition of topless women on prime time television, it has NO TROUBLE AT ALL showing shirtless men!  Out of the countless bodies of work on the “boob-less tube” today, here are just ten of my favorites (in no particular order).

1) Lost’s Shirtless Sawyer (a.k.a Josh Holloway)

When Oceanic Flight 815 crashed on an uncharted island back in 2004, the male survivors immediately instituted a “clothing optional” policy. And BOY are we glad they did!  Snarky, nickname-giving, weapon collecting, bookworm, James Ford, a.k.a Sawyer, is definitely one of those guys who, most of the time, can’t be bothered with such daily inconveniences as putting on a shirt.  So whether he is building a raft to get off the island (which I guess is what he is pictured doing above ), engaging in hot bear cage sex with a fellow castaway .  . .

. . . or randomly taking a shower, while still wearing his jeans . . .

 . . . chances are Sawyer’s going to let you see his belly button, while he’s doing it.  And if that’s not a charitable contribution to society, I don’t know what IS!

2) True Blood’s Shirtless Jason Stackhouse (a.k.a. Ryan Kwanten)

While there aren’t very many characters on television who are shirtless MORE than Sawyer on Lost.  True Blood’s Jason Stackhouse definitely has the distinction of being one of the few.  This self-proclaimed male slut may not be the sharpest “tool” in the shed, but I certainly wouldn’t kick him out of my bed.  In fact, I’d probably handcuff him to it, so that he couldn’t leave!

Fans of the show will undoubtedly remember Jason Stackhouse’s “fine form,” as it was displayed during the outdoor, Shirts v. Skins, Football Game he played at “Cult Camp” for the Fellowship of the Sun, during Season 2.

And, of course, who could forget the “Sexy Dance” Jason performed for Lafayette back in Season 1, when he was hooked on Vampire Blood?

Shirtless AND pantless!  It doesn’t get much better than this, ladies!

3) The Vampire Diaries’ Shirtless Stefan Salvatore (a.k.a. Paul Wesley)

Speaking of television characters hooked on Human Vampire Blood, here’s another one who isn’t a big fan of “the shirts.”  This broody vampire, with arms like tree trunks, and pects like a Greek God, generously regales us with his Body of Goodness each week on The Vampire Diaries.  Whether he’s doing chin ups to fend off blood cravings, dangling from a ceiling, while being tortured by a crazed team of rebel vamps, or gallantly retrieving a post-coital glass of water for his human girlfriend . . .

 . . . Stefan Salvatore tends to do it sans-shirt.  And thank Heaven for that!

4) Glee’s Shirtless Noah “Puck” Puckerman (a.k.a. Mark Salling)

Why didn’t any of my classmates look like this when I was in high school?  (Probably because they weren’t played by 27-year old actors with a team of personal trainers at their fingertips . . .)  This MILF seducing . . .

 . . . Mohawk wearing, Sweet Caroline singing, triple-sport playing bad boy, has a body to DIE FOR!  And he’s not afraid to show it off.  I can watch this ONE walk around, wearing nothing but a towel for HOURS!  You know what?  I think I will!

5) True Blood’s Shirtless Eric Northman (a.k.a. Alexander Skarsgard)

No wonder True Blood‘s Eric Northman has an entire CALENDAR MONTH dedicated to him!  He’s an extremely well-preserved, centuries old, insanely tall Viking Vampire with a voice like silk, and a penchant for all things bloody.  Did I mention he enjoys taking baths?

Can you really blame Sookie Stackhouse for having sexual dreams about this vamp, even though she is currently involved in another relationship?

6) Supernatural’s Shirtless Sam Winchester (a.k.a. Jared Padalecki)

OK.  I’ll admit that I don’t actually watch this CW show, about two hot demon hunting brothers, one of whom is sometimes possessed.  It just seems too scary for me. (This, coming from a girl who reads and writes books about vampires and hot warlocks, and who watches countless hours of Vampire Television . . . Crazy, I know!)  However, when I was “doing research” for this blog entry, I found this . . .

AND THIS (also featuring a shirtless Jensen Ackles as Dean Winchester) . . .

 . . . and figured I might just have to START watching, after all!

7) Grey’s Anatomy’s Shirtless Alex Karev (a.k.a. Justin Chambers)

This Hot (sometimes D-baggy) Doc, with a tortured past, and a sweet side to boot, looks just as good with his scrubs ON as OFF (We prefer them OFF, of course).    For a busy medical professional, Alex Karev gets LAID A LOT!  And for that, we are thankful, because it gives us an opportunity to see him like this . . .

Can you believe that the actor who plays this strapping male specimen is father to FIVE KIDS?

8 ) The Vampire Diaries’ Shirtless Damon Salvatore (a.k.a. Ian Somerhalder)

Clearly, the fictional vampiric Salvatore brothers both possess the gene for AMAZING abs!  Damon, the older, wiser, and snarkier Salvatore, KNOWS he’s hot.  And while occasionally completely shirtless, Damon, unlike his brother, tends to prefer the “open shirt” look . . .

 . . . which leaves a bit more to the imagination, but can be just as sexy.  Did I mention our boy can DANCE?

(Yeah, they won’t let me embed this video.  Poopyheads!  But click the link and WATCH IT!  I promise you WILL NOT be disappointed . . .)

9) Smallville’s Shirtless Clark Kent / Superman  (a.k.a. Tom Welling)

Undoubtedly, if you are being cast in a teen drama about the origins of the Man of Steel, having a hot bod is a prerequisite.  Tom Welling delivers FOR SURE!  Kansas farm boy, Clark Kent, may spend a significant amount of time fighting crime and leaping tall buildings in a single bound, but he’s also hauled a lot of bales of hay in his day.  And that’s really paid off for him in the chest department, if you know what I mean . . .

10) Lost’s Shirtless Desmond Hume  (a.k.a Henry Ian Cusick)

Since we started with a Lostie, I figured another Lostie would be a good place to end.  This romantic, time,traveling Scotsman, who calls everyone “Brotha,” spent years underground, doing nothing put punching numbers into an aging computer and working out.  And it shows!  Aside from being super cut, Our Man Desmond is not afraid to get a little dirty.  And anyone whose watched Lost knows that a dirty naked body is usually a HOT naked body.

Perhaps the reason Desmond is always looking so fit, is that, based on the pictures paparazzi have of him, the actor who plays Desmond does nothing but run ALL THE TIME!  (Check Google Images, if you don’t believe me!)

Well, there you have it ladies!  Ten hot TV men, all of them at least HALF nude!  Your welcome.  Now I’m off to take a cold shower!  Until next time . . .

Glee’s Noah “Puck” Puckerman – Yet Another Addition to My Ever-Growing List of Current Television Boyfriends . . .

“I don’t care that you are giving me the ‘LOSER’ sign right now. I am still in love with you . . .”

Wednesday nights are currently television-lite for me.  I don’t have any shows to recap, which saddens me a bit (but probably improves upon my ever-dwindling sleep schedule – Recaps take a LONG time to write!).  It also causes me to get a bit nostalgic for a time, not too long ago, when Wednesday night television, literally rocked!  Of course, I am talking about one of my favorite new shows of last year – GLEE!.   

This cheese-tastic, 80’s and 90’s loving, musical powerhouse graced my television set, every Wednesday night, from May through November of 2009.  It took only one episode, for me to become a total “Gleek”.  During those fun-filled prime time hours, it wouldn’t be at all unusual to find me bopping around the apartment like a drunk girl at a bar, singing at the top of my lungs, or clapping and hooting when the first bars of songs I recognized were played on screen.  After the first season finale aired, my typical television withdrawal-fueled depression was tempered, only by the fact that I now have EVERY song ever aired on the show in high rotation on my iPod.

Musical obsessions aside, one of the major draws of the show, for me, anyway, came by way of a certain mohawk-wearing, bad boy jock, with the body of an Adonis, and a last name that sounds like a kiss.

Here are 10 reasons, that I have decided to elevate Noah “Puck” Puckerman to fake boyfriend status:

(1) Mohawk Man: Puck sports a hairstyle that went out of style around the time that I was born.  But he makes it look GOOD!

Nice try, Vanilla Ice.  But SOME things should be left back in the ’80s,  where they belong . . .

(2) Varsity Boy: Puck is a total, card-carrying, jock.  This  means, as his faux-girlfriend, I get to wear his slightly oversized varsity jacket, when we go out on dates . . .

(Personal sidenote – Back in high school, I was on the track team, and actually had my own varsity jacket.  This didn’t stop me from secretly hoping that the right high school athlete would let me wear his . . . )

(3) Underdog: Puck spent most of the first season on the unrequited end of a love triangle.  In my book, brooding men, who want what they can’t have, are a total turn on . . .

(4) Father Figure:  Rather than run away screaming (as many lesser men would do), Puck has shown that he’s willing to step up the plate and help Quinn to raise their baby.  He even raised money to help her to pay for her medical bills.  So what, if that meant getting all the kiddies high, by selling them pot brownies?

That just means he’s a good cook!

(5) Abs-haver:

If I even have to explain this to you, you have no business reading this blog . . .

(6) Shalom Sayer:  Puck is Jewish.  And it is high time that television portrayed Abraham’s people as something more than math geeks and mama’s boys . . .

Say what?  You didn’t know Jews were cool?  Have all 80 installments of my Hanukah song taught you nothing?

(7) Non-Perv Maker: Sure, Puck is only in high school.  But the actor who plays him, Mark Salling, is a twenty-something, like me.  This makes me feel WAY less guilty for drooling over him.  The fact that he and I could date in real life, without me (a)  being mistaken for his mother; or (b) being charged with a crime, is a definite selling point for our make-believe relationship.

(8) Renaissance Man: Puck plays three different sports at the varsity level, cleans pools, bakes brownies,  sexts like a champ, sings AND plays guitar.  Is there anything this guy CAN’T do?

. . . currently working to single-handedly solve the Health Care Crisis.

(9) He doesn’t mind getting dirty . . .

Hint, hint, wink, wink . . .

(10) He gave me this . . .

Need I say more?

Glee returns to Fox on Tuesday, April 13th.  Watch with me.  But keep your mitts off Puck, OK?  He’s MINE!