A Very Delena Christmas: YOUR Picks of the Top Ten Damon and Elena Moments of Season 3, So Far . . .

[Boardwalk Empire fans, please check back, early tomorrow, December 13th, for my recap of the Season 2 Finale, “To the Lost.”  Thanks for your patience! :)]

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Greetings, Fangbangers!  In honor of the upcoming holidays, our friends over in Mystic Falls have decided to leave a very special present under your Christmas Tree . . .

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Just last week, I asked you all to vote on your favorite Damon and Elena scenes from the first half of season three.  And I was totally blown away by your responses.  Thank you so much to everyone who stopped by and participated.  You literally made my week . . .

So, without further adieu, I proudly present to you, YOUR picks for the Top Ten Damon and Elena moments, so far this season . . .

10.  Damon Throws Elena in the Lake (1% of the Votes)

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“Weeeeeeeeeeeee!”

Episode: “The Hybrid” – 3 x 2

Setting the Scene:

Stefan’s Tearful Phantom Breather phonecall at the end of “The Birthday,” has given Elena new hope that here erstwhile boyfriend, though currently Klaus’ b*tch, has not yet given himself over fully to the darkside.  Armed with a longshot tip that Stefan and Klaus might be spending the next full moon tracking werewolves in the mountains of Tennessee, Elena commandeers a reluctant Alaric to join her on a little hiking field trip.  But what Elena doesn’t know is that another traveler is lurking in the trees, just waiting for the right moment to make his presence known .  . .

Video:

Potent Quotables:

ELENA: “DA-MON!  How are you even here?”

DAMON: (to Alaric) “Thanks for the tip, Brother.”

  *   *   *

ELENA: “If I get out (of the water), you’re going to make me go home.’

DAMON: “Yes,  because I’m not an idiot, like you.”

*   *  *

DAMON: “What’s your big plan, Elena, huh?  (Joins her in the water.)  You gonna walk over to a campsite full of werewolves, roast a marshmallow, and wait for Stefan to stop by?”

*    *    *

ELENA: (looks plaintively at Damon) “Damon, please.”

DAMON: “OK . . . but we are out of here before the moon is full, and I’m werewolf meat.”

ELENA: “I promise.”

DAMON: “Unless you want to relive that Deathbed Kissy Thing.”

ELENA: “I said, I promise.”

Why it Made the List:

Damon’s and Elena’s relationship is nothing, if not antagonistic.  Both are strong-willed and stubborn to a fault.  And this causes them to butt heads often.  Damon and Elena know exactly how to push one another’s buttons, and make eachother’s blood boil.  So, it is no surprise that some of the most intensely erotic moments between them, are when they are engaged in heated verbal sparring matches.

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This scene from “The Hybrid,” starts off as one that seems to be included merely as comic relief.  It’s hysterical to see Elena kicking her feet uselessly, as she falls into the water.  And it’s hilarious how her and Damon snipe at eachother like petulant children, once she’s all wet . . . with Elena pouting and refusing to get out of the water, and Damon childishly calling her an “idiot.”

But when Damon wades into the water to join Elena, the scene takes a surprising turn . . .

Deep down, Elena knows that the real reason Damon came all the way out to Tennessee to find her, is that he cares about her deeply, and can’t bear to see her hurt.  She also knows exactly how to use this to her advantage.  Just as we saw last season with her, “Be a better man,” speech, Elena appeals to Damon’s undying devotion to her with doe eyes, wet skin, and a plaintive expression on her face. “Damon, please,” she says, her face just inches away from his . . .

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From this moment on, us viewers know that the battle is over.  And Damon has lost.  Elena may not be a vampire, but she’s clearly an expert at compelling Damon.  Even Alaric finds that needs to look away, feeling as though he has wandered into an intimate moment between two lovers.  After all, Alaric, Chunky Monkey that he is, knows exactly what it’s like to be totally whipped by a beautiful woman . . .

Damon might have lost this battle, but he sure as hell isn’t going to lose the war.  He makes that very clear in his reminder to Elena of that whole “Deathbed Kissy Thing” .  . .

 . . . because as much as Damon love for Elena, has the power to turn his insides into jelly sometimes, she’s not entirely immune to his charms either . . .

9. Damon and Elena Make Chili (1 % of the Votes)

Episode: “Disturbing Behavior” – 3 X 4

Setting the Scene:

Elena just got back from the WORST CHICAGO VACATION EVER!  First, she found herself just minutes away from getting sniffed out by a psychotic hybrid.  Then, she found out that her boyfriend keeps a weird diary listing the names of all the people he’s KILLED .  . .

And, finally, she got herself all dressed up in a cute purple dress, just to be dumped by that same boyfriend, who coldly told her, “I don’t want to see you.   I don’t want to be with you.  I just want you to go.”  HARSH!

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But, you know what they say . . . when the going get tough, the tough .  .  . make chili?

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Potent Quotables:

DAMON: “I just don’t know why you want to bring chili to a potluck.  Everybody brings chili . . . Show up there’s going to be nine other people that bring chili.”

ELENA: “It’s an old family recipe, OK?”

DAMON: “Yeah, I know.  I knew you’re old family.  They made sucky chili.”

                *             *          *

ELENA:  “He thinks I’m going to break.  I’m not going to break.  I’m just going to keep making chili, pretend like I didn’t spend the entire summer looking for someone who didn’t want to be found.”

DAMON: “She’s in denial.”

ELENA: “I’m not in denial.”

DAMON: “No?  You’re still wearing this necklace.  Isn’t this a reminder of your unbreakable bond with Stefan?”

Why it Made the List:

This small, seemingly throwaway scene, at the beginning of Episode 4, actually has a lot to say about Damon’s and Elena’s relationship, and how far they’ve come as a couple, over the course of two seasons.  Damon instinctively understands that Elena is heartbroken over her “breakup” with Stefan, but is hiding it behind a facade of false optimism.  The seamless way in which Damon is instantly able to intuit Elena’s hidden feelings illustrates just how emotionally in sync these two are with one another.  The fact that Elena is allowing Damon to support her and keep her company during this difficult time, shows what an important and integral part of her life he has become.

And of course, we can’t forget the flirting over the chili. Though Damon sometimes has the unique power to make Elena furiously angry, he also has the unique capability of disarming her, and bringing out her fun-loving, friendly, and flirtatious side.  This is evidenced by the way she bumps hips with him,  and wags her eyebrows at him, for insulting her “sucky chili.”

Damon too seems surprisingly giddy around Elena.  Though his flirtation with other women, tends more toward the overtly sexual, with Elena, he is surprisingly gentle and almost innocent in his advances.  This scene actually reminds me a bit of the kitchen scene the pair shared back in season one  . . .

But things get really interesting when Damon challenges Elena’s reasons for keeping the necklace, an object he always viewed as representative of Stefan’s love for Elena.  But what if it isn’t?  After all? Hasn’t it been Damon, who has repeatedly returned this necklace to Elena, reattaching it to her neck in increasingly romantic moments, every time she loses it?

Isn’t it possible that Elena is keeping the necklace, because, subconsciously, it reminds her of her relationship with Damon, just as much as it reminds her of her relationship with Stefan?  The way Elena stares at Damon’s lips, almost mesmerized, as he clutches tightly to her necklace, should definitely give some Delena fans pause . . .

8. “Do you trust me?” (2% of the Votes)

Episode: “Homecoming”  – 3 X 9

Setting the Scene:

It’s the night of the Homecoming Dance, and the Scooby Gang has big plans to kill Klaus.  The problem, of course, is that too many vampires know about this plan, and not all of them can be trusted.  One of these vampires who knows to much, is Klaus Barbie, herself, Klaus’ little sister, Rebekah.  This forces Elena to take matters into her own hands, in a decidedly un-Elena like way . . .

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With a temporarily dead body on the floor, and a distraught Elena on the bed, nearby, this sounds like a job for SUPER DAMON!

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Potent Quotables:

DAMON: (upon examining Rebekah’s daggered body) “In the back . . . harsh   . . . Hey, I’m not judging you.  It was very   . . . Katherine of you.”

ELENA: “Not the way to make me feel better about myself, Damon.”

DAMON: “It was a compliment .  . . sort of.”

ELENA: “Stefan’s right.  If someone is going to let their humanity get in the way and screw this whole thing up, it’s probably going to be me. . . . I care too much.  That’s the problem, Damon.  I’m the weak link.”

*   *  *

ELENA: “We need a better plan.”

DAMON: “I know what to do.  You’re just not going to like it.”

ELENA: “Why not?”

DAMON: “Because when this all goes down, I don’t want you having any part of it.”

ELENA: “What does that mean?”

DAMON: “Do you trust me?”

ELENA: “Yes.”

DAMON: “Then, you have nothing to worry about.”

Why it Made the List:

Trust has played a major role in the Delena relationship, ever since that epic moment, during Season 1, when Elena put her trust entirely in Damon, and ensured him that he could trust her in return, by taking off her vervain necklace, and permitting him to compel her.  Given Damon’s obvious attraction to Elena, this was a tantalizing opportunity for him  . . . one that, of course, he didn’t take . . .

Since then, Damon and Elena have worked hard to maintain one another’s trust, though there have been some notable stumbles along the way (i.e. the Jeremy Neck Snap Incident and the Force Feeding Incident, on Damon’s part, and Elena’s de-staking of Elijah on her part, to name a few).  However, here, in season 3, it seems as though Damon and Elena have finally moved past their respective baggage, and come to a place where they can really and truly trust one another wholeheartedly.

But it’s more than trust the binds these two together . . . it’s respect and understanding.  Throughout this series, both Damon and Elena have come up with numerous plans to defeat their enemies.  Some have worked well, others have failed miserably.  But never before this very moment, have the pair agreed on a single course of action.

The fact that Elena can say, without hesitation, that she trusts Damon, and is willing to go along with whatever plan he has — even if it means that she can’t play any part in it — shows just how fully she has come to respect Damon’s intelligence and strength.  She understands, without question, that he will do whatever it takes to keep her safe.  And, because of this, she wants to have sex with him feels safe with him .   . .

7. Damon Gives Elena First Aid (2% of the Votes)

Episode: “Smells Like Teen Spirit”  – 3 x 6

Setting the Scene:

When a compelled-by-Klaus-to-be-emotion-free Stefan moves back into the house to “babysit” Elena on Klaus’ behalf, Damon and Elena plot to vervain him, and lock him up, until they’ve killed Klaus, thus freeing him from compulsion.  The plan is for Elena to fake drunk, and take a swan dive off the school bleachers. This way, when Stefan catches her (as they all know he will), Alaric can knock him out with a vervain dart.

Meanwhile, Damon is supposed to distract Rebekah, by using his sexy man magic, and remarkable ability to make s’mores . . .

The flirtation doesn’t go unnoticed by Elena, who prefers that Damon reserve his man magic for her.  Plans go awry when a pesky ghost (Vicki) sets Alaric’s car on fire with Elena and Stefan inside.  Fortuately, everyone (except Alaric’s car) ends up being OK.  But Elena has an adorable little boo-boo that needs kissing.  So, Damon decides to step up to the challenge and play her doctor feel good . . .

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Potent Quotables:

DAMON: “Elena, you almost got barbecued.  The least I can do is apply first aid.”

ELENA: “You played your part of the plan really well tonight . . . you had Rebekah drooling all over you and your marshmallows.”

DAMON: “Yeah, before she skewered me.  I thought you were too drunk to notice.”

ELENA: “I was faking most of it.”

DAMON: “So, was I.”

Why it Made the List:

This is far from the first time Damon has tended to Elena’s wounds.  However, this is the first time Elena was awake (and fully conscious) to witness it, and allow it to happen.  There is an openness and intimacy between these two in this scene, the likes of which we haven’t really seen since the Season 2 finale . . .

Elena’s willingness to admit that she was jealous seeing Damon flirt with Rebekah, says so much about how comfortable she is with Damon, and how aware she is becoming of her romantic feelings toward him.  For Damon’s part, he has the perfect opportunity to rub Elena’s jealousy in her face, and claim he has feelings for Rebekah that he doesn’t.  The old Damon, from early Season 1, would have done this in a heartbeat.

But Season 3 Damon is beyond pretenses.  He loves Elena, and only Elena.  And he’s not afraid to let her know that.  Damon’s also adorably thrilled that Elena wasn’t too drunk to recognize him putting the moves on another woman, even if it was only as part of a plan . . .

6. “I will never leave you again.” (6% of the Votes)

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Episode: “The Reckoning” – 3 x 5

Setting the Scene:

If you thought Elena had a bad night in Chicago, during “The End of the Affair,” that was a day in the park, in comparison to “The Reckoning’s” Prank Night!

Let’s see . . . Elena got man-handled by Klaus, watched her classmates get murdered right in front of her, watched, as her boyfriend literally lost his humanity, was bitten, and drained of blood to the point of unconsciousness by her ex-boyfriend, and then was taken to a hospital, where even more blood was forcefully drained from her veins.  But worst of all, DAMON WASN’T THERE!

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Potent Quotables:

DAMON: “You know, I could help you forget too . . . at least the memories you don’t want to keep.”

ELENA: “No .  .  . no compulsion.  I need to remember all of it.

DAMON: (holding up the vervain necklace) “I stole it back for you.”

ELENA: “He’s really gone this time.  I watched it happen, after everything that we went through to help him, now he’s just gone.  Where were you, Damon?”

DAMON: “I shouldn’t have left.  I promise you, I will never leave you again.”

Why it Made the List:

The previous episode,”Disturbing Behavior,” ended with a fight between Elena and Damon . .  . one that prompted Damon to leave town, albeit temporarily.  Elena was frustrated with Damon because he acted too much like a vampire.  And Damon was frustrated with Elena because she refused to accept him for who he was.  Given the obvious fact that Elena really could have used a vicious-when-necessary vampire like Damon on her side, when she was battling Klaus, Damon had a real opportunity here to pour a little “I told you so,” salt into Elena’s gaping heart wound.

But he doesn’t.  In fact, Damon doesn’t get any joy at all from being “right,” in this instance.  He loves Elena so much that to see her in this much pain, both emotional and physical, causes him great anguish.  He feels so bad for Elena, and so guilty for not being there for her during this ordeal, that he’s even willing to take Elena’s memories of the night away from her .   .  . even if this means she will go back to annoyingly mooning over Stefan again.  Talk about self-sacrifice!

But Elena is much too strong to take the easy way out of her pain.  And Damon understands and respects that.

Of course, Elena has more to say, she wants to know why Damon wasn’t at the school, while this was all happening.  On one hand, it’s kind of a cloying question to ask, especially since Elena knows full well why Damon wasn’t there.  But on the other hand, Elena’s question tells Damon something he’s been wanting to hear since he first fell in love with the Petrova Doppelganger.  Because, what Elena is really saying, when she is asking that question is: “I need you.”

Because Elena has told Damon what he wants to hear, he rewards her with what she needs to hear . . . that he will never leave her (as nearly everyone she’s loved has done in the past) . . . and that he will remain by her side, no matter how many fights they get into, or how many monsters try to come between them.  And really, what could be more romantic than that?

5. Damon Rescues Elena from the Hospital (8% of the Votes)

Episode: “The Reckoning” – 3 x 5

Setting the Scene:

Having been out of town hunting Mikael, Damon returns to Mystic Falls to learn that Elena is in the hospital, having suffered severe blood loss, as a result of being bitten and drained by a compelled Stefan.  What he doesn’t yet know (but is about to find out), is that the nurse at the hospital has been compelled to take even more blood from Elena, so that Klaus can use it to build his doppelganger army . . .

Video:

Potent Quotables:

ELENA: (whispers) “Damon.”

DAMON: “Hey.”

Why it Made the List:

This short, nearly silent, scene was both beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.  The look of trepidation and anguish on Damon’s face is quite clear, as he enters the hospital.  We see that look change to one of relief, when he realizes that Elena is alive and well.  Then, that face morphs to one of concern, sympathy, and anger, when he sees, both the bandage on her neck, obscuring Stefan’s bite, and the tubes connected to her, only serving to further drain her of blood.

We’ve seen Damon carry Elena on two separate occasions prior to this one, giving the repeated gesture, three times as much significance as it would have otherwise.  The first time took place in Season 1, when Damon saved Elena from an overturned car.  The second time took place in Season 2, when Damon brought Elena home after the traumatic Sacrifice Ritual . . .

Both times, Elena awakened to find Damon hovering over her, and responded by becoming instantly relaxed and at-ease, despite the traumas she had just experienced.  This time was no different, and only provides more evidence of the undeniable connection between these two individuals.

4. “Then we’ll let him go.” (13% of the Votes)

Episode: “Homecoming” – 3 x 9

Setting the Scene:

When a twisty, turny, seemingly fool-proof, plan to kill Klaus goes horribly awry — thanks to Stefan ultimately saving Klaus’ life, so that he could, in turn, save his brother’s (though Stefan’s benevolent reasons for doing this are, at this point, unbeknownst to the elder Salvatore) — Damon is both enraged and utterly devastated.  So, he returns home, with his tail between his legs, to bring Elena the bad news . . .

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Potent Quotables:

DAMON: “I had him Elena, I had Klaus.  This could have all been over!”

ELENA: “Hey, Damon, hey, listen to me.  We’ll survive this.  We always survive.”

DAMON: “We’re never getting Stefan back.  You know that.  Don’t you?”

ELENA: “Then, we’ll let him go.  OK? We’ll have to let him go.”

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Why it Made the List:

Back during Season 1 and Season 2, the majority of sexy Delena moments were those initiated by Damon himself.  Damon was the one declaring his love for Elena.  Damon was the one invading Elena’s personal space, and stroking her skin.  Damon was the one making the sacrifices necessary to keep Elena safe and happy.

However, this season, as Elena experiences a growing awareness of her love for Damon, we are starting to see some role reversals.  In this top ten list, there are just as many Elena-initiated romantic moments, as there are ones that are Damon-initiated.  But, out of all the times, Elena illustrated her love and concern for Damon this season, the moment you just watched, is arguably the most groundbreaking in terms of the path this couple is taking toward romantic (and sexual ;)) bliss.

For most of the season, we have watched Damon take on the dual role of Elena’s hero, and caretaker.  He’s been strong for her and protective of her, when she’s in danger, but gentle, and sensitive with her, when she’s feeling vulnerable.  Damon has also provided some tough love to Elena, when she was most in need of that.  Many times throughout the season, we have seen Damon try to get Elena to face the fact that Stefan is not himself right now, and might not be for a long time.

But now, Damon needs Elena to play all of the roles he usually plays for her.  Having been outsmarted by Klaus, he is feeling weak, and needs Elena to be strong for him.  Devastated by the believed betrayal of his brother, Damon is feeling vulnerable, and needs Elena to reassure him.  And finally, forced to face the realization that his brother might truly be lost to him forever, Damon needs Elena to tell him that everything is going to be OK, in spite of that.

Though Elena is most likely feeling just as frustrated, saddened, and betrayed by Klaus and Stefan, as Damon is, she puts all of that aside for him.  When Damon lashes out angrily, by tossing a wine glass into the fire, and pushes Elena away, she doesn’t shrink back in fear.  Instead, she cups his face lovingly, as he has cupped hers, so many times before, and assures him confidently that they will survive this setback, along with whatever else Klaus throws in their path.

Elena also makes a point of referring to her and him as a “we.”  “We will let him go,” she says of Stefan.  I think this has much less to do with Elena thinking that either her or Damon will ever fully give up on Stefan, and more to do with the fact that Elena is ready to face up to any challenge, as long as Damon is by her side, when she does it.  Elena, in a sense, is also repeating to Damon the same sentiment he shared with her, at the end of “The Reckoning.”  She is saying, “I will never leave you.”

3. Damon Teaches Elena the Way to a Vampire’s Heart (16% of the Votes)

Episode: “Smells Like Teen Spirit” – 3 x 6

Setting the Scene:

Emotion-free, Ripper Stefan is lurking around Elena, and more or less treating her like the “Human Blood Bag,” he now thinks she is, thanks to Klaus’ compulsion.   Elena decides she needs to lock Stefan up, until Klaus is dead.  This way he can no longer be a danger to himself or others, and can no longer make snarky comments to Elena that make her feel like crap.  But to take down Stefan, Elena needs to bulk up, and do some Buffy the Vampire Slayer-style training, STAT.  So, naturally, she calls on Damon to be her Hot Sensei.

Video:

Potent Quotables:

DAMON: “What’s your plan, Oh Warrior Princess?”

ELENA: “I want to lock Stefan up .  . . at least until Mikael comes, kills Klaus, and then the compulsion breaks.”

DAMON: “His humanity is gone . . . lights out . . . no one’s home.”

ELENA: “Then do it for me, Damon.  Every time I look at him, I feel like I’m going to break, and I’m not going to give him that satisfaction.”

DAMON: (grabs Elena’s hand and puts it on his heart) “Feel that?  It’s the sternum .   . . solid plate of bone.  (fondles Elena’s sides, back and boobs) Right here, just below the ribcage, is the spine.  That’s your way to a vampire’s heart. . . . I’ll do whatever it is you need me to do, Elena.  No one is going to hurt you, especially not my brother.”

Why it Made the List:

Whew!  Did anyone else need to take a cold shower, after watching that clip?  We’ve witnessed many an erotic Delena scene over the past three seasons.  But as far as sheer sex appeal goes, this one takes the cake!

Let’s get the verbal stuff out of the way, so that we can focus on the body language.   Shall we? 

First off, I love how Damon was the first person Elena thought to call, when she (a) was in need of a sex partner trainer; and (b) needed to take down Stefan.  I also love how Elena opened up to Damon, and admitted to him how hard it was for her to see her ex like this, in a way that she couldn’t open up to anybody else.

For Damon’s part, I loved the way he melted, when Elena pleaded with him to “do it for me.”I also seriously dug how strong, self-assured, and undeniably sexy Damon was, when he whispered in her ear that he would do whatever she wanted him to do, and that he wasn’t going to let anyone hurt her, on his watch . . .

Now, LET’S TALK TOUCHING!

Damon’s grabbing Elena’s wrist to put her hand on his heart may have had the external purpose of showing Elena how hard Damon’s weiner sternum is, but the intimacy of the gesture, and the implication of love behind it was clearly not lost on either party.  It’s certainly not lost on Damon, who massages Elena’s hand, and looks deeply into Elena’s eyes, while he’s speaking.  Nor is it lost on Elena, who stares first at Damon’s muscular chest, and then at his lips, as she tends to do whenever Damon arouses her, which, lately, is quite often . . .

But things get really steamy, when Damon turns Elena around, pulls her toward him, and begins gently run his hands up and down her side, while caress her chest and abdomen, all as he is explaining the way to a Vampire’s Heart.  As if that wasn’t enough, he’s directing the entire speech toward Elena’s ear and neck, both of which are clear erogenous zones for Elena, as is evidenced by her gasping for breath, and allowing her eyes to roll back in her head, as he works his magic on her.

Well played, DAMON!  Well played, indeed!

2. “I want you to remember the things you felt.” (17 % of the Votes)

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Episode: “The Hybrid” – 3 x 2

Setting the Scene:

Damon’s decision to follow Elena and Alaric to the mountains of Tennessee to rescue Stefan from himself, proved to be both a dangerous, and an eye-opening journey for Damon.  It was dangerous, because Damon, once again, was almost bitten by a werewolf / hybrid.  And it was eye-opening because Stefan was the one who saved his life, thus proving that he still has some good left in him.  Damon also noticed that Elena was surprisingly willing to give the Stefan Search Party early, when it became apparent to her that Damon’s life was in danger.  This gesture gives Damon pause  . . .

Video:

Potent Quotables:

DAMON: “I’ll help you bring him back.”

ELENA: “Thank you.”

DAMON: “But before I do, I need you to answer one question.  What made you change your mind?”

*  * *

ELENA: “I didn’t want to see you get hurt, OK?  I was . . . I was worried about you.”

DAMON: (smirks) “Thanks.” (turns to leave)

ELENA: (calls after him) “Yes, I worry about you.  Why do you even have to hear me say it?”

DAMON: “Because when I drag my brother from the edge and deliver him back to you, I want you to remember the things you felt when he was gone.”

Why it Made the List:

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Ahhhh, Elena’s bedroom.  Why is it that all the best Delena moments take place there (or in Damon’s bedroom?)

 

What is interesting here is that this particular scene contains the same basic structure of both the hideous Jeremy Neck Snap Incident from “The Return” (which likely explains why Elena asked Damon if he was drunk), and the glorious Delena love declaration of “Rose.”

In fact, I’m pretty sure she’s even wearing the same pajamas!  In both previous scenes, like in this one, Elena enters her bedroom to find Damon standing by the window, waiting to have a heart-to-heart talk.  However, where as in both of the aforementioned scenes, Damon wished to speak to Elena, but not necessarily to hear her respond.  (In “Rose,” he compelled her to forget he was there, before she even had a chance to process the information.)  This conversation is all about Elena, and her feelings.

 Damon is about to once again, do something extremely self-sacrificing for the woman he loves  . . . something that, as far as he is concerned, may result in her being lost to him forever.  But before he does that, Damon wants to make sure that Elena is honest with herself about her feelings for him . . .

When Damon forces Elena to admit that she worries about him, and abandoned her own mission to save his life, he does it less because he needs to hear her say it, and more because she needs to hear herself say it out loud.  However, since our girl Elena can be a bit dense sometimes about her feelings for Damon, the Elder Salvatore brother, with Elena’s encouragement takes things one step further.

Cupping her face in his hands, and lovingly running his fingers through her hair, Damon looks deeply into Elena’s eyes, and plunges headfirst into the depth of her soul.  The words he says to her in this moment, based on her response, only further cemented Damon’s place in Elena’s heart, providing assurance that, no matter what happens between Stefan and Elena, Elena will never truly be able to get Damon, or the journey that he and she underwent together, during Stefan’s absence this season, out of her mind.  And that, my fellow Delena, fans is a tremendously good thing . . .

And that brings us to . . . DRUMROLL PLEASE  . . .

1.  Damon and Elena Sleep Together (35% of the Votes)

Episode: “Ordinary People”  – 3 x 8

Setting the Scene:

Damon and Elena have both had busy, and disturbing, but oddly productive days, on the “Kill Klaus” front.  After an extremely heated exchange with Rebekah, Elena finally managed to convince her that Klaus killed her mother in cold blood, and has been lying to her for centuries.  As for Damon, he broke Stefan out of vampire rehab, got him high on blood, and had a run-in with Mikael.  The latter got Stefan to break through enough of his compulsion to save Damon from getting his heart ripped out, and to agree to help Mikael kill Klaus, so that he no longer has to be his b*tch.

Needless to say, these two have a lot of great reasons to make sweet, sweet love to one another to talk about, when they reunite at the end of the evening .  . .

Video:

Potent Quotables:

DAMON: “Go ahead, kick, yell, scream.  I’m sure you’ve been planning your rant all day.”

ELENA: “I’m not going to yell at you .  . . I’m not mad.  I’m just.  I’m tired, I wanna go to bed.”

ELENA: “I think we got Rebekah on our side too.”

DAMON: (impressed) “Really?  What did you learn?”

ELENA: “I learned that she’s just a girl . . . that she lost her mom too young, and she loves blindly, and recklessly, even if it consumes her . . . you know when all is said and done, there is nothing more important than the bonds of family”

DAMON:  “Tell that to my brother.”

ELENA: “I’m not mad at you for letting him out.  I think you’re the one who’s going to save him from himself.  It won’t be because he loves me, it will be because he loves you.”

Why it Made the List:

Damon and Elena SLEPT TOGETHER!  Damon and Elena SLEPT TOGETHER! (takes breath)  OK, so they didn’t exactly join together, in the carnal sense, but, in a way, the bond illustrated between Damon and Elena in this scene, was arguably more intimate, and special, than even the most erotic sex scene.  When Elena entered her room, and found Damon in her bed, she felt completely comfortable with him being there, and never even thought to kick him out.  (Who would?)

Rather, she crawled right into bed with him, so that the two could eagerly share with one another the events of the day.

When Damon and Elena related to one another in this scene, it was without judgment, or argument .  . . they related as equals, friends, and, yes, lovers.  They rejoiced in eachother’s victories, and shared eachother’s successes, as all good couples do.  Then, Elena turned out the light, and snuggled up next to Damon, as she told him about Rebekah, a woman who loves recklessly, even though it consumes her . . . a trait she shares in common with both Damon and Elena.

But perhaps the most poignant part of the scene was when Elena admitted to Damon that it would be his love that saved Stefan, and not hers.  This is a huge step for Elena to take, admitting that she doesn’t come first in Stefan’s heart  . . . that she might not be the one most capable of saving Stefan’s soul.  It also shows how much she trusts that Damon will be able to do just that.

Damon is noticeably touched by Elena’s words, and how much she believes in him.  Elena’s confidence in Damon helps him to believe more in himself, and his capacity to save his little brother.  Damon is also deeply affected by the way Elena closes her eyes, and goes to sleep, allowing Damon to snuggle up next to her, impliedly letting him stay the night.  The scene ends with Damon contentedly watching Elena sleep, his eyes filled with love, adoration, compassion, and, most importantly .  . . hope.

Sweet Dreams, Delena fans!

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

Damon and Elena: Season 3, Part 1: From Naked and Bubbly to Bedtime Cuddly (You Rank Em’, I’ll Analyze Em’)

Greetings Fangbangers!  Has the TVD hiatus got you down?

Are you counting down the days until January 5th on your calendar with bloody red X’s?

Are you so starved for original TVD content that you are beginning to understand how Stefan felt in “Miss Mystic Falls?”

Well, try not to lose your head . . .

. . .  because help is on the way . . .

Those of you who’ve read my blog in the past, know that I have a little TVD hiatus tradition of ranking and analyzing what I feel are the best Damon and Elena moments from the current season.  So, if you are feeling extra special bored nostalgic, feel free to check out my Top Ten Delena moments from Season 1, the first half of Season 2, and the second half of Season 2.  Now, that’s what I call compelling reading material . . .

This season, I’ve decided to tweak the formula, just a little bit.  You see, as I was preparing to do my usual Top Ten Delena Moments post for the first half of Season 3, I ran into a rather interesting problem.  You see, back in Seasons 1 and 2, us Delena fans were sort of the underdogs in this competition.  I mean sure, we had our jaw-dropping, heart pounding, swoon-worthy shipper moments . . . like the Epic Mating Dance in “Miss Mystic Falls” . . .

. . . the Forgotten Love Declaration in “Rose” . . .

. . . the “I will always choose you” monologue from “The Last Dance” . . .

. . . and, of course, the “Deathbed Kissy Thing” in “As I Law Dying” . . .

But, for the most part, being a Delena fan was about rejoicing in the subtle, sometimes hidden, gestures of love that these two passionate individuals shared, beneath the surface.  When viewed together, these isolated scenes created a sort of secret romantic subtext for the observant viewer.

We’d catch a longing look here . . .

. . .  a lingering touch there . . .

. . .  a mutual expression of concern for one another’s well being here . . .

. . . a lighthearted moment between two people who are slowly, but surely, venturing into the territory of “more than just friends” over there  . . .

. . . and of course, a sexually tense instance of personal space invasion right here  . . .

Now, Season 3 is here.  With Stefan in his Cocky Ripper Douche mode, and Damon and Elena spending more and more time alone together, Team Delena is no longer the underdog in this story.  We’re IN THE LEAD, BABY!

Being the so-called Team to Beat in these Relationship Wars means more scenes for our chosen ship, each week . . . and more overt gestures of love from our dreamy eyed protagonists.  It also makes ranking Damon and Elena moments a much more more difficult task, even for Seasoned Delena fans like myself.  By way of example, I usually have no trouble selecting which ten scenes will be featured in my Delena-centric post for the season.  But now, after watching just the first NINE episodes of Season 3, I have collected no less than FOURTEEN Delena scenes that I felt were absolutely crucial to  include in the countdown.

That’s where you guys come in.  Below, I’m going to share with you video clips of all fourteen of my favorite Delena moments.  Then, I’m going to let you vote on your favorite.

Now, unfortunately, Poll Daddy doesn’t seem to allow you, the voter, to actually rank the moments from most to least favorite . . .

However, that should not stop you from creating your own top ten list in the Comment Section, and / or attempting to convince me why YOUR scene should make it to number one.  Once, I’ve tabulated the results, you can expect to see a full-fledged Top Ten Delena Moments Post for Season 3, Part 1, right here on this blog.  Sound good?

AWESOME! 😉  Well, then, without further adieu, let’s let the Delena Viewing Party BEGIN!

Entry # 1 – Elena Sees Damon Naked – 3 x 1

Entry # 2 – Damon Gives Elena her Birthday Present

Entry 3 –  Damon Throws Elena in the Lake – 3 X 2

Entry 4 – “I want you to remember the things you felt” – 3 x 2

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Entry 5 – Elena Cuddles with Damon in Bed – 3 x 3

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Entry 6 – Damon and Elena Make Chili – 3 x 4

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Entry 7 – Damon Rescues Elena from the Hospital  – 3 x 5

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Entry 8 – “I will NEVER leave you again.” –  3 X 5

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Entry 9 – Damon Teaches Elena the Quickest Way to a Vampire’s Heart – 3 x 6

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Entry 10 – Damon Makes Elena Jealous – 3 X 6

Entry 11 – Damon Gives Elena First Aid – 3 X 6

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Entry 12 – Damon and Elena Sleep Together – 3 X 8

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Entry 13 – “Do you trust me?” – 3 X 9

Entry 14 – “Then, we’ll let him go.” – 3 X 9 

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I hope you’ve made your decision, because it’s time to CHOOSE!

Happy voting, Fangbangers!  See you in the Comment Section!

Oh, and don’t forget to check back later for the FULLY ANALYZED Top Ten Delena moments of Season 3 (Part 1) post, later this month or Damon will eat you . . . and not in a GOOD way, either.

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

You just got SCHOOLED! – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “Smells Like Teen Spirit”

DAMON:  “You know, it really baffles me, how you continue to resist my amorous fondles.  I’m stroking your boobs.  I’m blowing on the back of your neck.  I’m doing the Eye Thing.  It’s Textbook Seduction.  How are we not jumping eachother’s bones, by now?”

ELENA:  “It’s simple, really.  The producers have put a padlock on my underwear.  Not to be opened until episode 12.”

DAMON: “Figures . . . we have vampires, witches, werewolves, ghosts, Originals, and hybrids, when all we really need is a good locksmith.”

Greetings, Fangbangers!  It’s back to school time, at Mystic Falls.  Remember school?  That place our characters typically go to attend vampire-infested theme dances, and then seemingly don’t return, for months?

Well, apparently, Mystic Falls High has just enacted a much stricter attendance policy.  Because THIS is the second episode IN A ROW that featured the elusive high school, as a backdrop.

“What is this place?  How did we get here?  Is this another one of Bonnie’s spells?”

In many ways, “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” was a warped, alternate universe, version of the first few of episodes of TVD.  There was cheerleading practice, and a bonfire.  Vicki was hanging out in the stoner den.  Tyler was being douche (and wearing a dorky dew rag).

“It soaks up my man sweat!”

Elena sat next to Stefan in Alaric’s Saltzman’s history class.  (I’m still not sure if Mystic Fall High has any other history teachers.)  SOMEONE was wearing an ugly scarf to hide an uglier vampire bite.

“Is that a doiley around your neck, or are you just happy to see me?”

With a town so rich in history (and REALLY OLD PEOPLE), it makes sense that Mystic Falls is a place where history seems doomed to repeat itself for all eternity, with some very important “adjustments” to the original tale.

Let’s analyze, shall we?

(Special thanks, as always to my Brilliant Screencapper Andre for most of the pictures you see here.)

Elena the Vampire Layer Slayer

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“I’m done playing The Victim . . . at least, until next week.”

It’s 5:15 a.m.  Elena’s alarm clock has just gone off.  She’s clearly not happy about it.  Yet, our heroine still manages to emerge from her bed, without ONCE hitting the Snooze Alarm, which is more than I can say for myself, most mornings . . . and I’ve never ONCE been eaten by an ex-boyfriend

(Well .  . . there was that one time . . . nevermind.)

“I have to say, as far as hickeys go .  . . this one is actually kind of cute.  I think I’ll keep it.” 

After donning her most stylish workout gear, Elena tromps off into the woods with Alaric, for her first lesson in Vampire Slaying 101.  The problem of course, is that, though he has all the coolest vampire slaying toys, Alaric’s track record for ACTUALLY killing vampires sort of leveled off around mid season 1.

Hmm . . . I wonder why that would be?

(You know the saying, “Those who can . . . DO, and those who can’t TEACH?”  Well, apparently, this applies to Alaric in most aspects of his life . . .

He’s still an expert at using his Chunky Monkey, though . . .

Alaric shows Elena a little pillow dummy, and instructs her to stab it.  However, she can’t “penetrate” because the blade is too dull  the dummy is too hard she is too scrawny.  Alaric then caustically tells Elena that she could stand to GAIN a few pounds . . .  a line that may not have won Alaric many points with his student, but will most certainly earn actor Matt Davis plenty of points with TVD’s female fanbase. (Needless to say, I suspect the Chunky Monkey will be getting A LOT more action, this week.)

“I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow that vampire pillow down!”

Always quick to jump down the throat of ANY male on this show, Elena immediately begins to lecture Alaric on his chauvenistic lack of faith in her vampire slaying abilities.  (Of course, Elena.  He doubts you, because YOU ARE GIRL.  It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you make terrible vampire slaying plans in every episode, which fail about 100% of the time.)

The truth hurts, doesn’t it? 

Of course, since Alaric secretly wants to bone Elena (at least, he SEEMS like he does), he doesn’t insult her, the way I just did.

“I know you tend to prefer undead men, Elena.  But, rest assured, there are some unique benefits to dating real life humans . . . I just haven’t figured out what they are yet.”

Instead, Alaric tells Elena how strong she is, just for getting out of bed in the morning (talk about LOW EXPECTATIONS), and somehow equates this TREMENDOUS feat with having vampire slaying abilities.

Hmm . . . getting one’s lazy ass out of bed . . . overpowering, and murdering an immortal bloodsucking monster .  . . yeah . . . I don’t really see the relationship either. 😉  But hey, why burst Elena’s bubble, so early in the morning?

New Year, New Life, New . .  . Scarf?

CAROLINE:  “Seriously, who compelled her to dress like that?”

BONNIE: “I know, right?  She is SO not sitting at our lunch table, this year.”

ELENA: “Umm . . . guys? Stefan bit me on the NECK, not the EAR.  I can still HEAR YOU!” 

An hour or so later, besties Caroline Forbes, Elena Gilbert, and Bonnie Bennett are walking into school, seemingly in complete denial as to how truly f*&ked up their lives have become.  Caroline, in particular, seems determined to put her past year of being tortured in about every other episode, behind her, so that she can have an AWESOME senior year.

 There is nothing at all strange about this.  This happens to everybody.  Doesn’t it?

Then, Ugly Scarf Elena has to TOTALLY ruin the mood, by whining about how it’s her and Stefan’s anniversary . . . and, now he’s Klaus’ evil b*tch . . . and how she wasn’t able to get the stake to stick in the vampire pillow doll, this morning and WAAAAAAAH!

ELENA: “My scarf is making me depressed.”

CAROLINE: “Your scarf is making EVERYONE depressed.”

Talk about a serious Debbie Downer!  I’m officially convinced that Ugly Scarf Elena is the polar opposite an nemesis, of the adorably sassy, Ponytail Elena, who, fortunately, for us, is poised to make an appearance in this episode, in just a few moments .  . .

Right arm red, left foot blue, right hand DOUCHE

Ripper Stefan is so LAZY!  Pilot Episode Damon would have absolutely been on the floor playing Twister WITH his breakfast mates.

Damon is VERY flexible.

Meanwhile, back at La Casa de Rich and Awesome, Stefan is enjoying breakfast.  . .  and by “breakfast,” I mean a bunch of bimbos, who just LOVE to play Twister, and / or have their arms chewed off by a so-called “True Ripper.”

Looks like a BLAST!

(Now, of course, I understand why he wanted to eat them.  But why bother with the board games?  It just seems like an awful waste of time to me.  Hasn’t anyone ever taught this guy not to play with his food?)

“Is this what Klaus had in mind, when he compelled you to protect Elena?” Damon wonders.

Good point, Damon.  Throughout the episode, I found myself wondering just what exactly Klaus meant by compelling Stefan to turn off his emotions.  After all, you would think a non-emotional guy would be kind of robotic, stiff .  . . etc.

But Ripper Stefan, actually seems MORE “humanly” at ease with himself than Old Stefan.  He SMILES.  He LAUGHS.  He FLIRTS.  He takes joy in other people’s suffering.  He cares about Elena, in a sort of weird, and oddly detached way.

In fact, I’m starting to think that maybe, instead of compelling Stefan to turn off his emotions, Klaus accidentally compelled Stefan to believe he was Pilot Episode Damon.  This would actually make a lot more sense, under the circumstances.  Don’t you think?

Then again, we HAVE seen Stefan at least partially resist compulsion before.  So, perhaps, Stefan’s tiny little tiptoes into humanity are meant to represent examples of THAT . . .

Whatever it is, Damon’s and Stefan’s discussion of it, is interrupted by the arrival of a very special guest . . .

Barbie Klaus Gets a New Dream House

“Hello, I was going door-to-door, and was wondering if you had any interest in purchasing a Bible?”

Don’t get me wrong, I love that Damon refers to Rebekah as Barbie Klaus or Klaus Barbie.  (Buy her at a store near you.  Fangs, coffin, and Naptime Stomach Dagger, each sold separately . . .)

I even love that she’s staying at La Casa de Rich and Awesome (provided she NEVER . . . EVER cockblocks my Delena, of course).

Still, I can’t help but wonder how she managed to ENTER the house to begin with, considering that it currently belongs to Elena, who has yet to actually invite her inside.

Remember, back last season, when Elena de-staked Elijah, and he was practically BLOWN outside of the house, due to his never having been invited in?  NO?  Well, don’t worry too much about it.  Because, apparently, the writers don’t either . . .

Dead Girls Do It Better

The students at Mystic Falls High will inevitably begin to wonder whether there is a schizophrenia epidemic in town, especially considering that BOTH Jeremy and Matt seem to have developed a habit of talking to themselves in embarrassingly public places.  Well . . . Matt talks to Vicki in public places.  Jeremy talks to Anna in the Men’s Room, which is wrong on so many levels, I can’t even begin to describe them . . .

“So, THIS is what a men’s room looks like.  Centuries old, and I’ve never seen the inside of one before.  GO figure!”

Matt and Vicki drive together to school.  And then proceed to reminisce in the parking lot about, how much fun school was, last year, back when, you know, Vicki was still alive, and not a vampire, but rather, an incredibly slutty drug addict, with crushingly low self-esteem, and a horrible case of crabs.

But hey!  At least you were a really good dancer!

Good times!  Things are significantly chillier INSIDE the school, where Bonnie is nagging Jeremy, about spending more time with Ghost Anna, than he spends with HER.

Oops!

You know, Bonnie, when your boyfriend would rather have conversations with the AIR in public bathrooms, rather than hang out with you, that’s a REALLY good sign that  . . .

. . . oh yeah, and that he’s a TOTAL WACKADOODLE . . .

As Jeremy leaves Bonnie to undoubtedly head back to the urinals, so that he can hit on his mistress in a more romantic setting, a very pissy (See what I did there?) Bonnie undoubtedly begins to ponder whether she has the power to give a ghost one of her Trademark Headaches.

“You’ll pay for this, Casper the Friendly Slut!”

Speaking of Trademark Witch Moves, I’m sure I’m not the only one that notices that Bonnie’s nose hasn’t bled ALL SEASON.  I wonder what changed?  She finally kicked the coke habit.

Meanwhile, inside a creepy little tomb located conveniently nearby . . .

Why some Coffins Come Equipped with Snooze Alarms . . .

“Come on Baby!  Open your mouth . . .  here comes the choo choo train.”

Last week, when Katherine and Jeremy lifted up the lid on Big Bad Vampire Hunter Michael’s coffin, we all ASSUMED he’d stay awake.  But apparently, Grouchy Mike just rolled over, and went back to bed.  A frustrated Katherine tried everything to get Michael to chow down.  She brought him men, women, animals, and rodents.

But the dude just kept GOING BACK TO SLEEP!  The nerve!  No wonder Katherine had no time for her ex-boyfriend’s phone calls!

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Can you blame her?  (Because I can!)

Finally, Katherine drips fresh blood from a human male directly into Michael’s open mouth.  This seems to do the trick.  As it turns out, all baby wanted was to be FORCE FED, after all.  Or was it?

Back at school . . .

AP History Never Looked So Good

It just occurred to me, that a good portion of the past two episodes, has taken place in the bathroom . . . symbolism?

When an oddly giddy Tyler shows up at school with blood on his shirt, Caroline pulls him into the bathroom to frustratedly lecture him to keep a low profile, given the whole Hybrid Thing.  (Part of me hoped that Caroline would rip Tyler’s shirt right off of him, so that she could, at least, put some stain stick on the blood mark, but no such luck.)

“I’m way too cool to care about little insignificant things like blood stains.”

Caroline is furious with Tyler, when she finds out he’s been accepting blood bag gifts from the Evil Rebekah. What’s worse, he actually seems PROUD of receiving the distinction of being Klaus’ First B*tch.

“I Heart the Original Werevamp.”

Poor Tyler!  Clearly, he hasn’t read the memos that require him to be Self Loathing, and think of his magical powers as a BURDENSOME CURSE, even though they are TOTALLY AWESOME.  That’s what happens when you join the Scooby Gang a year late, I guess . . .

“You wouldn’t happen to be wearing that sexy red underwear I found in your drawers, last week, are you?  Because when I went to look through your underwear drawer this morning . . . umm  . . . to do laundry . . . it wasn’t there.”

The phone rings.  It’s Damon, for Elena.  He’s decided to warn her that Rebekah a.k.a. Klaus Barbie is now currently staying in the house that SHE owns, without paying rent .  . . oops.  Elena immediately asks after Stefan, causing Damon the Issue Avoider to hang up on Elena in the most clever way he knows how.  “Ring, RING . . . Oooh . . . is that the bell.  You don’t want to be late!”

“Damn you, Damon!  I am so not letting you eye f*&k me, or invade my personal space tonight.  You’ll be sorry!”

Yeah . . . Damon REALLY needs to work on his sound effects.  His school bell left much to be desired .  . .

As for Stefan, Damon really shouldn’t have avoided Elena’s question.  If he hadn’t Elena might not have been as shocked by Stefan’s sudden reappearance in the halls of Mystic Falls High, as she was initially.

“Now, you are cheating on Klaus with Alaric, Stefan? When did you become such a slut?”

Yep . . . apparently, the inimitable Pilot Episode Damon Ripper Stefan has apparently decided to re-enroll in school, so that he could “keep Elena safe.”  (Dammit!  Why can’t I have my own sexy, Secret Service Vampire Detail?)

Look on the bright side, Elena.  Ripper Stefan is an excellent person to cheat off of, when you have your inevitable Civil War Exam.

Ripper Stefan roughs up former pal acquaintence Alaric a bit, just to show that he means business.  Then he joins Elena, Caroline, and Tyler in Alaric’s AP History class.  (Wait . .  . Tyler, Caroline, and Elena are ALL in Advanced Placement History?  I guess Elena’s appearance there makes some sense, but I never particularly considered Tyler to be much of intellectual power house.

Oops . . . Sorry Tyler.  I’m sure you’re very intelligent.  (Please don’t eat me.)

Did you?  Oh, did I mention that Rebekah is taking this class too?

The future Mrs. Saltzman?

I didn’t?  Well . . . consider it mentioned.

Vampire Barbie versus Barbie Klaus

It’s odd how, even though Rebekah is back in Mystic Falls on Klaus’ orders, she seems to have somehow developed her own agenda.  And that agenda has a name: Tyler Lockwood.  Apparently, Rebekah wants to obtain Tyler by Single White Femal-ing Caroline, all around school.

“The easiest way to become head cheerleader is to eat the rest of the squad . . . It would make getting into pyramid formation difficult, though.”

Rebekah didn’t look at all out of place as part of the cheerleading squad.  And I couldn’t help but wonder, how she managed to master all those complex gymnastics.   I didn’t know girls DID gymnastics, back in the 20’s, did you?  Perhaps, it’s a vampire thing . . .

Anywhoo, Tyler’s obvious sexual appreciation of Rebekah’s BODY of WORK . . .

 “I wasn’t aware one’s legs can wrap themselves around their head, in that way . . . imagine the possibilities.”

. . . along with his unethical (but awesome) decision to compel his coach to end football practice early, only serve to get Caroline to nag at him even harder than before.

“You also REALLY like my dew rag, and want to get one just like it for yourself.”

Better watch your step Caroline, because where I come from NAGGING boys is the fastest way to scare them away . . .

But NOTHING will scare Stefan away.  He creepily falls inline along side Elena, as she heads for a leisurely run around the track.  (I guess she’s not a cheerleader, anymore?)  Then, just to show what a chivalrous guy he is, Stefan BEATS THE CRAP OUT OF SOME DUDE WHO HAS THE NERVE TO RUN NEAR ELENA.

 (Now, that’s love!) 

Well . . . maybe . . . Stefan does inform Elena that she is the Human Blood Bag Klaus needs him to protect.  Human Blood Bag . . . not exactly a “term of endearment” among the ladies . . .

Guess which one is Elena?

Note to Stefan:  Stay away from nicknames.  You will never be as good at coming up with them as your brother is.   Sawyer from Lost, you are most certainly not . . .

Some Lessons Come from the Heart (Others Come from Just Under Your Boob)

While I LOVE that Damon took the opportunity to get to the “heart” of the matter, by fondling Elena’s breasts, how much more AWESOME would this scene have been, if Damon told Elena that the way to a vampire’s heart was between his legs? 😉 

After her literal, run-in with Stefan, a pouty Elena calls Damon again, and begs him to come to school, and stop by the gym.  When he arrives, Damon’s just oozing charm over, thrilled that the object of his affection has asked for his help.  Damon . . . now HERE’S a guy who’s great with nicnknames!  While jokingly adding a little extra pressure to the barbell Elena is bench pressing, he calls her Buffy.

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Then again, when she admits to wanting to lock Stefan up, he refers to her as Warrior Princess.  Classy!

At first, Damon is a bit skeptical of the idea of locking up Stefan.  After all, he’s not just supposedly emotion free, he’s also high on human blood, which means he’s not going to come back to himself any time soon.  But then Elena trains her puppy dog eyes on Damon, and all bets are officially off. “Do it for me,” she pleads.  “Because every time I see him, I feel like I’m going to break, and I don’t want to give him the satisfaction.”

And THIS is when DAMON (who has killed PLENTY a vampire in his day) decides to give Elena HIS first lesson in Seduction of Elena Vampire Slaying 101.  First, Damon puts Elena’s hand on his warm chest, showing her that his sternum is solid, and that no heartbeat can be found there.

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“Squeeze my nipple.  Do it.  I dare you!”

 As if THAT wasn’t erotic enough, Damon shows Elena the TRUE route to a vampire’s heart, by pulling her back against his chest, and running his hand along the length of the side of her skin.  The spinal column . . .  that is apparently where a vampire’s “heart” is.  Who knew?

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Damon’s touch has an immediate effect on Elena, and she shivers with arousal, while, at the same time, instinctively leaning back towards Damon, so that she can experience this more deeply.

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Damon obliges by casually blowing on her neck, and bringing her face toward his, so that she is forced to look deeply into his eyes.  “Do whatever it is you need to do,” he says, in a husky turned on voice, that is almost a whisper.  “Because no one is going to hurt you, least of all my brother.”

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OK . . . so, I may have made a few (a lot) of inappropriate noises during this scene.  Can you blame me?  These two are absolutely ON FIRE!

It’s a shame they have to ruin the beauty of this moment, with their lousy Stefan-napping plans.  (Though, in their defense, this one goes a bit better than most . . .)

Oh No, Not Another AWFUL PLAN!

“Why don’t we skip to the part, where Elena almost dies, and has to be rescued by a Salvatore . . .”

After Elena’s cooled off from her workout, the Scooby Gang meets in Alaric’s classroom, to run through their dastardly plan.   Here’s how it goes, Elena lures Stefan into a vulnerable position, while Alaric darts him with vervain.  Then, together, Alaric and Elena drag Stefan to the dungeon, where Papa Forbes once held Caroline.  Meanwhile, Damon hits on Rebekah to keep her from getting suspicious, while Tyler confirms the crew’s vervain supply.

But wait . . . Tyler doesn’t want to help, because this wouldn’t be what KLAUS wants.  All the sudden, Tyler has this big fat juicy crush on Klaus, and it’s making him act like his little minion.

“Nothing you can say, can tear me away from MY VAMP!”

So, Damon knocks him out, explaining that Tyler’s got “sire’s disease,” also known as a built-in loyalty to the person that turned him into a vampire.    The loyalty relationship between progeny and maker, is something we heard a lot about in shows like True Blood.  But this is the first we are hearing of the concept, here.

Nonetheless, if “sire’s disease” is a unique characteristic of hybrids,  Klaus is just going to apeshit with happiness, when he learns about it, since an obedient hybrid army, has always been his lifelong dream.

You know, it does make sense that werewolves would be more likely than your average human turned vampire to exhibit this disease, particularly given the fact that werewolves are that much more prone to comraderie and pack mentality, than the average human being.

“I can’t give up all this great sex, just because my boyfriend is now Satan’s puppy!  That would be so shallow of me!”

A worried Caroline wonders how to “cure” her formerly broody beau’s new devastating man crush, but Damon fears there is no cure.  “Get yourself another boyfriend,” he instructs.  (I guess we can cross Damon off  of our Team Forwood Christmas List, then.)

With everyone in on the plan, it’s time to go to the Back to School Bonfire, and put it into action . . .

Oh, look!  The Dead Chick’s Got Plans Too!

“I think I liked you better when you were dead.”

But Elena isn’t the only one with a plan, Vicki has one too.  And it involves Matt (or “Matty” as she annoyingly refers to him) cutting his hand, and talking to candles, so that Ghost Vicki can lead a more-active haunting lifestyle.  Basically, Vicki has a powerful dead witch (the Original Witch) on her side to instruct her just how this should be done.  Matt stupidly complies with this request, though I’m honestly not sure, where he got all the candles.

Sure enough, the plan works, and Vicki is able to touch her brother, and be touched by him.  Now, that just sounds GROSS!  You know what else is GROSS?  The rest of Vicki’s plan.

“Awww crap!”

Apparently, Matt signed on the dotted line, before reading the “fine print.”  That fine print is what Vicki has to do, at least according to the Original Witch, to STAY alive in Mystic Falls.  As it turns out, she is going to have to . . . wait for it . . . KILL ELENA, a.k.a. Hybrid Bloodbag.

Ruh RHO!

Jealous Elena + Drunk Elena + Flying Elena = FUN ELENA!

“Raise your glass, if you could possibly get killed tonight.”

This year’s bonfire is WAY more fun than last years, during which we spent most of it watching Elena and Stefan babble on about their FEELINGS.  This time around, we get to watch Damon flirt shamelessly with Rebekah, and feed her smores, as Elena looks on, pouting, clearly jealous.

“Mmmmm . . . white and creamy . . . kind of reminds me of something else.”

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We haven’t seen Elena show signs of jealousy, since Andie (R.I.P.) hit on Damon, back in “Daddy Issues.”

And the fact that Damon doesn’t USE Elena’s obvious jealousy to manipulate her more, simply because he CAN, illustrates just how far he has come, since the pilot episode (more on that later).  Even Stefan picks up on Elena’s jealousy, and obvious attraction to Stefan, with a mixture of wry amusement, and friendly teasing.

“I hope that marshmallow she’s eating goes straight to her hips.”

“What’s that look?”  Stefan snarks.  “Sure . . . be jealous . . . I’m sure my brother will love it.”

Needless to say, I suspect the NON-RIPPER Stefan wouldn’t be quite so understanding of Elena’s attraction to his brother.  Jealousy aside, Elena continues to play her part, drinking like a fish, and, at least partially faking inebriation to an increasingly watchful Stefan, who genuinely seems to be enjoying himself here.

Ripper Stefan would TOTALLY hit that!

Is it weird that I REALLY like this incarnation of Stefan?  Now, granted, maybe it’s because he reminds me so much of Damon, but he’s pretty hot!)

We reach our climax (in more ways than one), when Elena pretends to get SO drunk, that she falls from the high rise bleachers, outside the school, forcing Stefan to catch her, and keep her alive, as he’s been compelled to do.

Weeeeeeee!

“I knew you’d catch me,” Elena says breathily, as Stefan eyes her closely, a bit surprised by the intensity of feeling he’s having for a woman he supposedly could care less about.

It’s written all over his face.  And it’s VERY sexy, though admittedly, not as sexy as Damon’s boob fondle from earlier in the episode . . . 😉

*sniffs*  “Ooh . . . someone had garlic for dinner.”

Alaric then vervain darts Stefan . . .

 He shoots, he SCORES!

. . . and approaches Elena, so the pair can drag his unconscious body into Alaric’s car.  “Are you OK?  You look . . . uh . . . not sober,” remarks Alaric, to a clearly shaken Elena.

That’s OK . . . Alaric didn’t really like that car anyway!

Umm . . . Nationwide is on your side?

But Elena’s going to wish she was drunker, in just a few minutes.   Because after the pair put Stefan in the back of the car, and Elena gets in, Vicki makes her move, by SETTING ALARIC’S CAR ON FIRE, and locking the doors, so that Alaric can’t get in to rescue her.

“Serves you right for dumping my brother, b*tch!”

A frantic Elena, turn to STEFAN, of all people, to help her, and he helps to kick out the back door, but promptly passes out again, before he can go any further . . .

“Sorry, about the whole vervain dart thing.  Could I make it up to you, by letting you rescue me for the 85,000th time?”

Not to worry, witchy Bonnie is on her way.  She has just finished having a WHINY conversation with her soon-to-be ex boyfriend Jeremy, and HIS soon-to-be new ghost girlfrien Anna, when Matt calls, telling Bonnie that, once again, he has done something VERY STUPID.

“Please Lord, don’t let my nose start bleeding again.”

Cue the candles, and more hand cutting, and more hand holding.  Together, Bonnie and Matt manage to beam Vicki away from Elena.  Then a tearful Matt has to go and send his own mildly evil sister back to the great beyond.  Sucks to be him!  Meanwhile, Elena drags an unconscious Stefan out of the car and dashes to safety with Alaric, just seconds before the car COMPLETELY EXPLODES.

Oops!  I do hope he has good insurance. . .

Forwood-y!

Klaus has great taste in pets.

In other, completely unrelated, news, Tyler tells Caroline that he doesn’t want Klaus to turn him back into his Season 1 Douchey self.  After all, everything he likes about himself aside from the massive size of his weiner, of course comes from Caroline.  (All together now . . . AWW!)

As “mad” as Caroline was at Tyler just a few moments earlier, within mere minutes, the pair is half naked, and happily humping one another’s legs (among other things).  I love how, no matter what is happening in a given episode, you can always count on at least one Forwood Soft Core Porn scene.  (Damon and Elena, TAKE NOTE!)

Unfortunately, Caroline and Tyler don’t have sex, in this episode, because she wants to teach him a lesson, regarding the whole “Gay for Klaus” thing.

I suspect Caroline will eventually come to regret leaving Tyler alone, half naked, with a sexy blanket around his crotch, for a number of reasons.  The most prominent of these is that Rebekah arrives soon thereafter, with a human for Tyler to drink . . . his very first taste of human blood, straight from the source.

“Bon-Appetite, Fido . . . er, I mean, Tyler!”

It’s like Tyler is the biblical Adam, Rebekah is the serpent, and this soon-to-be dead girl is the forbidden fruit.

My what big teeth you have, Tyler!

The pair gnaw on the poor woman together, in a scene that’s oddly reminiscent of the one, during which Stefan and Rebekah first met, back in the 20’s.  Rebekah gets Tyler to do this, by preying on his “Gay for Klaus-ness,” “Klaus wants you to indulge in all the best that life has to offer,” she tells him . . .

So generous . . . that Klaus.

Yes, Tyler, drinking blood bags is SO last season, cannibalism, is obviously where it is at, right now . . .

Vampirivore?

Taking S& M a bit too far . . .

Speaking of cannibalism, Big Bad Vampire Hunter Michael is not at ALL happy that Katherine woke him, by forcing him to drink human blood.  As it turns out, like Season 1 Stefan, Michael hasn’t feasted on human blood in years.  But he doesn’t seem to drink bunnies, like Stefan used to, either . . . Weird.

No matter .  . . Michael is up now, and he’s ready to comply with Katherine’s request, by killing Klaus.  But first, Michael needs to eat HIS choice of food . . . VAMPIRE KATHERINE.

Kat Food.

That’s right, boys and girls, a vampire hunter that EATS OTHER VAMPIRES . . . It doesn’t get that much more self-loathing than that.

“500 + is too young to die!”

So, is Katherine dead?  Man, I hope not!  I’d like to think that Michael, who’s been out of commission for  a while now, still needs Katherine alive to lead him to Klaus.  Either way, it looks Elena isn’t the only member of the Petrova Doppelganger family who’s destined to be a Breathing Blood Bag . . .

Back at the Gilbert household . . .

Handgasm . . . the Sequel

Please, let’s see this AGAIN!

Jeremy is on the phone with Bonnie, fighting about Anna, and yet Anna is still around.  (Haha!  Sorry Bonnie!  You’ve been REPLACED!  AGAIN!)  Jeremy assumes that this is because he is WAY more attracted to sweet, hot Anna than judgy, whiny, nose bleedy Bonnie he is incapable of NOT thinking about Anna.

But, as it turns out, it may be something more “supernatural” than that.  Because when Anna reaches out to touch Jeremy, just as she did the first time she appeared, not only can he feel HER.  Now, SHE can feel him  . . .

In short, boys and girls, IT’S ALIVE!!!

Elena Gilbert, you are my hero!  (And I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SAY THAT.)

Over at La Casa de Rich and Awesome, an unusually chivalrous Damon, helps put cover-up on Elena’s zits anesthetize the burn wound on Elena’s face.  Still jealous, Elena notes, much less subtly, than I’m sure she intended,  just how cozy Damon was looking with Rebekah, during the bonfire.  “You played your part well,” she says poutily.

“This concealer will really minimize your pores.”

This causes Damon to remark on Elena’s so-called drunkenness.  “I thought you were too drunk to notice, he says, wryly.”

“I was faking most of it,” she explains.

Now, while OLD DAMON would have most certainly rejoiced in the opportunity to rub his non-relationship with Rebekah in Elena’s face, NEW DAMON simply puts his face close to Elena’s, so that their lips are almost touching, and whispers seductively, “So was I.”

Oh, lord, someone get me a fan!  I think they are going to kiss . . . I really think they are going to do it this time . . .

So, of course, count on Professor Alaric Cockblock to come in and spoil the moment . . . AGAIN.

*sigh*  Better luck next time, Delena fans.  Apparently, they are going to drag this relationship out to EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL LENGTHS, before giving us any sort of release.   We’re getting pretty darn close though, you must admit . . .

True . . . but it kind of sucks for you too.

Alaric then has a conversation with Ripper Stefan, that reminds me a heck of a lot, of the one Damon and Stefan had with one another, during “The Last Dance.”  Not surprisingly, though, given Stefan’s recent incarnation as Pilot Episode Damon, Stefan reads DAMON’S lines, while Alaric plays the role of OLD Stefan.  Here, Stefan notes that as much as he’s become a Cocky Ripper Douche, he’s still highly adept at keeping Elena safe, and has been compelled to do that, at all costs.

Therefore, Alaric should think twice about eliminating Elena’s bodyguard from the picture.  Alaric says nothing, in response.  But it is obvious, based on his facial expression, that he reluctantly agrees with this sentiment.  Cue Elena’s entrance.  A thoughtful Stefan wonders out loud, why Elena saved his life, when this seemed a perfect opportunity to let him die.

“Do you REALLY want to hear me make the speech again?”

So, Elena starts speechifying again, about how much she loves him, and still has hope that he’s going to become Old Stefan again, and, blah, blah, blah.  But just when you think Stefan is going to appear touched by Elena’s sentiment, he utters THIS REMARK: “Elena, do you have any idea how pathetic this makes you?’

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Oooh .  . . OUCH!  Pilot Episode Damon Ripper Stefan sure knows how to make the crippling zingers stick.

But her’s something new, Elena STAKES STEFAN, using her trusty wrist vervain darts, to which we were introduced at the beginning of the episode.  “No, Stefan, it makes me strong,” she says triumphantly, as she stalks out.

“That turned me on a little bit, Elena.  Hey. . . wanna play Twister with me?”

I think my favorite part of the scene, was the content and impressed look on Alaric’s face, as he watched Elena do this.  It ALMOST made me forgive him, for being so pissy and judgmental with Damon, lately.   Almost . . .

Speaking of Team Bad Ass, Elena tries to convince Alaric and Damon to kiss and make up, after the whole, “Damon KILLED Alaric” thing!  Another reason why Elena is my hero.

My only qualm with the scene was that DAMON, himself, wasn’t there to witness it.  Something tells me, he would be SUPER proud of his girl Elena, if he saw that.  Not to mention, EXTREMELY turned on . . .

Speaking of Damon . . .

Anybody got the number for Ghostbusters?

In the final scene of the episode, we find him randomly rolling up some old fusty rug, when a vase shatters near his head.  As he goes to pick up the pieces, some force flips him on his back.  It’s . . .  wait for it .  . . Ghost Mason.  And he looks positively evil (not to mention, super hot), when he grins at Damon, and tells him, “This is going to be fun.”

Payback’s a b*tch, or should I say . . . a wolf.

Well .  . fun for HIM, anyway . . .   Apparently, Vicki and Anna weren’t the only ghosts to have crossed over during Bonnie’s Send Vicki Back to Purgatory Spell.  Nice going, Bon-Bon!

And that was “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” in a nutshell.  Be sure to tune in next week, when Lady Gaga’s Boyfriend Uncle Werewolf practices some more S&M on poor Damon, and fan favorite Lexie tries her own brand of aversion training on Ripper Stefan.  You can check out the American trailer for the episiode here:

And the Canadian one here:

So, now it’s your turn, Fangbangers!  What did you think of “Smells Like Teen Spirit?”  Is Katherine really dead?  How long until Damon and Elena FINALLY get it on?  Are you grudgingly enjoying the renewed sexual tension between “Bad” Stefan and Elena, as much as I am?

“I’m slowly winning you over, one evil deed at a time.”

Do you wish Elena would either get drunk, or wear her hair in a ponytail more often?  Will Tyler and Caroline continue their “winning” streak of humping during each episode, even though Tyler is now Gay for Klaus?   And finally, which Ghosts of TVD’s past would you most like to see on YOUR TV screens next week?

Until next time .  . .

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