It’s Memorial Day, Charlie Brown?

As most of you probably know, Monday is Memorial Day, the federal holiday during which we commemorate the military men and women who died in service of our country.  Before I continue, let’s have a moment of silence for these fine folks, because this post actually has very little to do with them.  And writing a post that uses the word “Memorial Day” in its title, while not actually discussing the true meaning of the holiday AT ALL, might actually have the unintended side-effect of making me feel like a Totally Insensitive Poopy Head.  . .

So, I’m going to try to make a half-assed attempt to remedy that right now, OK?  Here it comes . . . Shhhhh!  No talking . . .

Thank you.  On to the post . . .

So, as I said, Monday is Memorial Day, a national holiday.  And do you know what I tend to think about when approaching a national holiday?  (Aside from “Thank GOD I finally have a day off!”  . . . because, of course, I ALWAYS think about that first . . .) 

I think about Charlie Brown!  Why, you ask?  Because EVERY national holiday comes with its own Charlie Brown television special!

Thanks for the vid, fishfreak!

Correction:  Evey holiday EXCEPT Memorial Day! (And, actually, I think July 4th . . . random, right?)

Personally, I think this is an issue that needs to be remedied ASAP, Peanuts people!  And just to prove what you’re missing, Memorial Day (and July 4th!), here’s a brief look at the holiday calendar, as seen through the eyes of Peanuts cartoons . . .

Happy New Year, Charlie Brown!

Honestly, as far as Peanuts holiday installments go, this one is quite lame.  I think this has a lot to do with the fact that Peanuts gang is so YOUNG!  So, they can’t truly enjoy this holiday the way it was intended to be enjoyed.  Would you believe, the premise of the episode ACTUALLY involves Charlie Brown reading Tolstoy’s War and Peace?  

Correct me if I’m wrong here, but isn’t Charlie Brown supposed to be like EIGHT?  Do you know what I was reading at age 8?

Clearly, Charlie Brown went to a better Elementary School than I did .  . . which I find strange, considering that none of his teachers seemed to have a particularly solid grasp of the English language.

Actually, my favorite “part” of “Happy New Year, Charlie Brown,” is the unofficial “promotional poster” for it, which always seems to find its way into holiday cards, and the like.  I enjoy it immensely!  Because, unlike the actual “Happy New Year, Charlie Brown,” this poster features our main characters, Charlie Brown and Linus, impliedly doing what most of us regular folk do on New Year’s Eve — namely, get completely wasted and make bad life choices.

In Charlie Brown’s case, his “bad choice” comes in the form of deciding to wear a highly unflattering Trucker Cap . . .

Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown!

This one may very well be my favorite Charlie Brown holiday special of them all!  Unlike the New Year’s episode, which featured the Peanuts doing things I would NEVER do on that particular holiday, Charlie Brown’s Valentine’s Day looks just like mine always does!  In it, Linus develops the hots for his teacher!

Those of you who watched Dawson’s Creek back in the day, probably understand (and hopefully enjoy) the above reference. Those who DIDN’T, are undoubtedly wondering why the guy from Fringe is sporting such a ridiculous haircut . . .

During the special, Charlie Brown gets NO VALENTINES AT ALL (until the end of the show, that is, when some random girl gives him one out of pity)!  Inappropriate crushes, rejection, and self pity.  It’s just like MY Valentine’s Day, Charlie Brown!

It’s the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown!

Unlike the dream-killing Halloween Charlie Brown episode (to be discussed below), where the legendary Great Pumpkin NEVER actually makes an appearance, we actually DO get to see the titular Easter Beagle in this one!  (It’s only Snoopy, of course . . . but it’s better than nothing.)  So, you would think that being the Owner and Best Friend of the “Beagle in Charge,” would ensure that Charlie would be entitled to at least ONE Easter egg.  But NO!  He gets none . . .

 

On a lighter note, I LOVE the trippy, surprisingly “meta” scene from this episode, in which Snoopy engages in a dance with some very happy Easter Bunnies (Or DOES he?) .  Watch the clip and listen closely, because in it, Snoopy utters the ONLY WORD he will ever speak during the ENTIRE PEANUTS series!

Thanks for posting chickiechickie!

Personally, I think this “Easter Egg” is the KEY to deciphering the Flash Sideways World on Lost . . .

It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

Of all the Charlie Brown holiday shows, this one is probably the best known. Whenever people talk about, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,” they always seem to want to discuss, Linus’s fruitless all-night vigil in the pumpkin patch for the Great Pumpkin, who never arrives.  However, when I think of “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,” this scene is always the first to come to my mind . . .

Thanks digitmarketing!

I’m guessing the “rock” is not considered “wrapped candy,” so Charlie Brown’s mom is probably going to have to throw all those away.  It’s too bad, because, with all those rocks, Charlie could have made a pretty awesome “Great Pumpkin” shrine . . .

Happy Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown!

This was probably the only Peanuts Special that made me really jealous of Charlie Brown.  After all, I was a really picky eater as a kid.   So, Iwasn’t a big fan of most of the food at MY Thanksgiving table.  But a dinner comprised of toast, pretzels, popcorn and jellybeans?  I would have been TOTALLY down with that!

A Charlie Brown Christmas

This Peanuts episode was kind of a downer for most of its duration.  (I know it probably seems, based on my descriptions of the Specials, that they were ALL downers.  But that is simply not true!)  In this Special,  Charlie Brown’s purchase of the saddest little Christmas tree alive, threatens to ruin the ENTIRE school’s Christmas pageant!

Admittedly, the entire show is a bit preachy, what with its hammering home the lesson that Christmas has become overly commecialized, and its constant discussions (damn you and your lessons, Linus!) of the “true meaning of Christmas.”  However, the last few minutes of “A Charlie Brown Christmas”  are guaranteed to be the BEST THING YOU WILL EVER WATCH ON TELEVISION during Christmas time!

I’m only a little embarrassed to say that I watched this video about eight times in a row this evening, in a feeble attempt to try and mimic each character’s dance moves . . .  DO NOT TRY THAT AT HOME!

So, there you have it folks, a calendar year, as seen through the lens of Peanuts Holiday Specials . . .

Dear Memorial Day,

       Consider yourself SCHOOLED!

                      Love,

                    The Peanuts Gang!

The Good, The Bad, and The Zombies – A Vampire Diaries Recap of “Fool Me Once”

There must be something in the water in TV Land this week. On Tuesday’s episode of Lost, there was much talk of “zombies.” Actually, the Lost zombies were not exactly of the “eat brains” variety.  Rather, they fell more into the “spiritually empty” realm of zombie-ism.  But they were zombies, nonetheless.

“On second thought . . . eating brains would be a really good way to reduce my carb intake.”

The “zombies” in tonight’s episode of The Vampire Diaries, however, were a bit more literal-minded. These entombed undead bloodsuckers certainly looked the part, with their vacant stares, cob-webbed attire, and skin falling-offy faces.

“Fool Me Once” was not exactly The Vampire Diaries’ prettiest episode, nor its strongest. There was a lot of bad and ugly here, and not all of it included Katherine’s decrepit, centuries-old, friends.  But there were definitely some highpoints to this, the last episode of the series, before it goes  on a month-long hiatus. So, without further adieu, let us separate the dead from the undead, shall we?

“Living” it Up in Motel Vampire

The episode begins with Elena waking up in a shabby motel room, to find vigilant Vampire Ben McKittrick holding her captive.  Or, at least, he would be vigilant, if he wasn’t fast asleep. A frightened Elena tiptoes toward the door. As you watch her, you just know Hot Bartender Vamp is going to jump out, give her a scare, and prevent her from leaving (the “fake escape,” is, after all, the oldest trick in the horror movie book).

When Ben does jump out for the obligatory scare, he tries to compel Elena to stay captive, by using that mind bendy thing they showed in the trailer. Of course, that ended up being a tease. Elena is still wearing her vervain necklace at the time, and, therefore, is immune to his “charms.”

Creepy Stalker Vamp Anna then jumps out and scolds Ben for his stupidity.  And, I have to say, given that they used such a hot actor to play Ben, I was a bit disappointed with the blandness of his two-episode character arc. (Stefan literally torched Hot Bartender Vamp at the end of this episode, so I’m pretty sure he’s gone for good.) Granted, The Vampire Diaries already has its share of sexy and brooding bad boys, but I think Ben had the potential to be more than Anna’s bumbling sidekick.

“I coulda been a contendah!”

Anyway, after suffering through what was officially the worst date ever, Bonnie is stuck slumming it in Motel De Vamp too. As it turns out, Vampire Anna has decided to use Elena and Bonnie as bait to get the Grinimore from Stefan.  (Is it just me, or is Elena used as “bait” in every single episode?)

With the help of Bonnie’s Witchy Grandma, Stefan finds the motel where Elena and Bonnie are being held captive, and rescues them by performing the heroic act of . . . wait for it . . . opening the window shades. Yeah, apparently, unlike Stefan, Damon, and Anna, D-list Vampire Ben not only cannot venture out doors during daylight, he cannot experience any sunlight whatsoever.

Back safe and sound at Witchy Grandma’s house, the Scooby Gang decides to help Damon to open the tomb, if only to get Creepy Stalker Vampire and her various D-list minions off their back. There is one problem with this.  After having been betrayed by the Scooby Gang in the last episode, Damon basically hates their guts . . . Elena offers to take one for the team, and reestablish with Damon the trust that has been broken between them.

“WOO HOO! YIPPEE! An Elena and Damon scene! I knew there was a reason I watched this show . . .”

It’s Just a Matter of Trust and Fashion Facilitation

One of the worst things about being single (for me anyway), is that there is no one there to help you unzip your dresses and secure the clasps on your bracelets and necklaces. Clearly, Elena Gilbert will never have this problem. In what was, of course, my favorite scene of the evening. Elena comes to Damon with her tail between her legs, ready to grovel.

Elena recognizes that Damon was more hurt by Elena’s betrayal at the cemetery last week than Stefan’s, due to the special connection these two have with one another. “You and I have something,” Elena explains, using as evidence the fact that Damon chose not to compel her when the two went down to Georgia together a couple of episodes ago.

“Who says, I didn’t,” challenges Damon, who gets some glee at seeing Elena flinch at his remark.

In a bold move to earn his respect and trust, Elena removes her vervain necklace, allowing Damon total control over her. Touched by the gesture, Damon moves toward her and takes the necklace. However, instead of tossing it away, he gently reattaches it to Elena’s neck. “I didn’t compel you in Atlanta, because we were having fun.  And I wanted it to be real.  I am trusting you.  Don’t make me regret it,” whispers Damon in Elena’s ear.

Wow . . . Please excuse me for a moment, while I wipe the drool off my keyboard . . .

The Lamest Party Ever

“Hey, what do you say we play a rollicking game of bingo when we get home?”

Remember shows like The O.C., where there was a party in every episode, and at every party there was at least one fight and one drug overdose? I do, and for that reason, I was massively disappointed by “Duke’s Cemetery Party.” After all, we had all the makings for a truly awesome party here.

For starters, it was at a cemetery filled with vampires.  Second, Tyler was there! And he likes to beat everyone up! Third, Jeremy was there! And he used to like to get wasted ALL THE TIME! Finally, new couple Matt and Caroline were there! Surely, I can count on them for some heavy petting and steamy necking.

What did I get instead? Tyler lecturing Jeremy about how he used to “be cool.” Jeremy moping around in the corner, mooning over Anna.  Sure, Vampire Ben ended up punching Jeremy’s lights out.  But it wasn’t nearly as much fun to watch as you would think.

And how about our hot new love couple: Matt and Caroline? Did they spend the episode heating up the screen with their newfound passion for one another? Not exactly. Instead, they made “Speeches” to each other and had in-depth philosophical conversations about how to make their relationship work. I  felt as though I had inadvertently changed channels away from my hot and sexy teen drama and, had instead found a talk show starring him . . .

This couple showed a lot of promise with their adorably sexy “car kiss” at the end of last weeks episode. However, the fact that they are already psychoanalyzing one another during the second week of their relationship, doesn’t bode well for them . . . AT ALL!

In Other, More Exciting, News . . .

Back at the tomb, Bonnie and her Grandma successfully complete the spell that will open the gates to Vampireland. Damon enters the tomb with Elena, who is accompanying him as, you guessed it, bait. You see, Damon fears that, without Elena, the witches will burn the tomb down with him still inside it. And we soon find out, that’s exactly what Granny plans to do.

When Vampire Anna rushes in after Damon to retrieve her Mommy, Grandma explains to Bonnie that the spell they cast will allow anyone to enter the tomb, but only humans, like Elena, to exit. While Damon is searching for Katherine, Anna finds her now Crypt Keeper-esque Mommy and tries to feed Elena to her. Elena screams out, causing Stefan to run to her rescue.

Now that a vampire they actually like is stuck in the tomb, Bonnie and Grandma are forced to open it for real. When they do, Anna and her mother rush out, as do Stefan and Elena. Unfortunately, an increasingly frantic Damon is still inside searching for Katherine.  Stefan returns to the tomb and drags a reluctant Damon out seconds before it closes.

Anna confesses to a heartbroken Damon that she always knew Katherine wasn’t in that tomb. Apparently, Anna had run into Katherine a few years back, and the latter seemed to have no intention of finding Damon again.  In a surprisingly sweet scene, Stefan returns home with Damon to comfort him over his heartbreak.

The Vampire Diaries = Ageist?

Back at La Casa de Bonnie, Grandma isn’t looking so hot. It seems that this evening of staying up late and casting spells has taken its toll on her.  When Bonnie leaves the room to get her grandmother tea, she returns to find her dead.

This really dusts my doilies! After all, Grandma was the only sensible non-vampire adult in the whole show (unless you count Jenna and Alaric, which I don’t). Not only was she smart, but she was tough as nails. After all, she beat the crap out of Damon using only her mind!Am I supposed to believe that a hardcore witch like this would meet her demise as a result of merely muttering a few words in Latin? Come on The Vampire Diaries, don’t you realize that old people can be fun? Haven’t you ever seen The Golden Girls?

. . or that awesome Snickers Superbowl commercial starring Betty White?

But I digress.  After a few heart-wrenching moments of mourning dear old Grandma, we return to the infamous tomb, which turns out to be not-so-much closed, as a zombie-esque decrepit dude finds out when he merely pushes lightly on the door . . .

Personally, I would have liked to see all the zombies emerge and do The Thriller dance here, because that would have been awesome.  But no such luck . . .

Well, there you have it folks . . . See you on March 25th!