A Long Time Ago, We Used to Be Friends – A Recap of Once Upon a Time’s “Breaking Glass”

“Use distorted mirrors . . . because plastic surgery is for p*ssies.”

Did you hear the one about the sassy, sarcastic, blonde teen with trust issues, and her best friend Lily, who tragically kept secrets that ended up prematurely ending their friendship?

No? Me neither  . . .

This entirely new and original premise, which featured soooo much lesbian sexual tension between two presumably heterosexual teens that I thought I had accidentally switched channels and started watching LOGO, formed the basis for this week’s Very Special Life Lesson Masquerading as Flashback on Once Upon a Time.

(It also made me crave a crossover episode of Once and Veronica Mars, during which Young Emma and Veronica casually debate the merits of leather versus denim jackets, and Captain Hook and Logan take the old yacht for a spin, get totally wasted on rum, and proceed to spend the next seven or so hours practicing their broody-but-sensitive longing looks at an unseen camera.)

Hey, it could happen!

Meanwhile, back in the present day, Emma and Regina ironed out their differences by generously sharing in heaping helpings of one another’s “Glorious Finger Magic.”

“Woo, I’m going to need to smoke a cigarette after this!”

Hook and Charming each got the opportunity to do a little Dr. Phil-ing on their lady loves . . .

Elsa learned that handcuffs can, in fact, be recreational .  . .

Fifty Shades of Frozen

And Regina got royally screwed by a piece of Glass . . . but not in a good way.

Let’s review, shall we?

[You can check out the rest of this recap here.]