Hot Box Time Machine – Lost’s “Happily Ever After” Q & A

Tonight’s episode of Lost marks yet another chapter in the tale of our favorite Scottish time (and dimension?) – traveler, Desmond Hume.  This is our seventh Desmond-centric Lost episode. (For those nitpickers out there, I am counting the two hours of “Live Together, Die Alone” as separate episodes . . . basically, because I like the number seven, DAMMIT!)  To me, Desmond’s episodes have sort of a different feel than the episodes we typically see on Lost.  While all Lost episodes deal with themes of love, destiny, good versus evil, and science versus faith, Desmond-y episodes seem to express those themes in a more heady, philosophical way.

Desmond episodes = Advanced Placement Lost (for “gifted” TV watchers)

 Tonight’s episode was no exception.  During “Happily Ever After,” we definitely learned a thing or two about our hero, as well as the overall mythology of Lost.  Here are just some of the questions that were answered during this hour:

Why is Desmond “The Package?”

Desmond is The Package because he looks like this . . .

 . . . oh, and I almost forgot .  . . HE HAS SUPERPOWERS!

Superpowers?  Cool!  Can he leap tall buildings in a single bound, like Superman?

Ummmm  . . . no.  But he CAN be shocked with thousands of volts of electromagnetic energy without, you know, dying.  He can also toggle back and forth through time and alternate dimensions, without having to take a dip in a Hot Tub, or jump in a DeLorean with a young Michael J. Fox.

So what does that have to do with Charles Widmore?  Why does HE need Desmond back on the Island?

Two words: Course Correction.  If you recall (Of course, you recall.  Your a Lost fan.  You remember EVERYTHING.  And have the screencaps to prove it), back at the end of last season, Juliet detonated a bomb on the island back in 1974, in hopes of preventing Oceanic Flight 815 from ever crashing on the island.  Instead, her actions set off a major chain of events (i.e. that whole flash-sideways business) that left a lot of Losties extremely UNLIKELY to get laid in the foreseeable future. 

For starters, in Flash-Sideways World, Desmond’s not with his “soul mate” Penny, which means she can’t bear his child.

Charlie never met Claire . . .

No, I’m NOT taking about the bat-shit crazy version!  (NO ONE wants to meet HER!)  I’m referring to the  sweet, innocent, hygenic version from the first three seasons . . .

(Sidenote:  Was it me, or has Charlie’s hairline receded IMMENSELY since we last saw him on this show?  Perhaps hair loss is another side effect of living in Flash-sideways World, because Jack Shephard seems to be having the same “follicular” issues, of late.)

“I’m not LOSING my hair!  I’m just GROWING out my forehead . . .”

Speaking of Jack, in Flash-Sideways World, he and Sawyer never made out with / screwed (in a bear cage) Kate

Oh, the humanity!

Sayid’s not with Nadia.  Jin’s not married to Sun, so her and their child may DIE.  Daniel never met Charlotte.  Hurley never met Miles.

Catch what I did there?  Pretty clever, huh . . . 

As for Widmore, a permanent existence in Flash-Sideways World will undoubtedly result in the loss of his daughter Penny, his grandchild, and his son.  Oh, and did I mention that he will be stuck married to this scary biatch?

As if all that wasn’t bad enough, you and I would be stuck watching Friends reruns on Tuesday nights at 9 . . .  It’s a dystopian society, indeed!  And so, understandably, Widmore has hired Time-Traveling Desmond to merge the two timelines created by the bomb’s blast back into a single timeline, where they belong.

How the heck is Desmond going to do that?

One word: The Constant.  (well, that’s actually two words.  Sorry?)  Remember when Desmond was doing all those weird mind-warp time traveling things back during Season 4?  (During the episode conveniently entitled “The Constant.” )  Do you also remember how Daniel Faraday, who was experimenting with time travel at the time, had written in his journal – “Desmond Hume will be my constant?”

(Presumably the aforementioned statement meant that whatever year it happened to be, Desmond would provide Daniel with the personal connection he needed to gain a necessary foothold in his current timeline)

“Oh, hey look!  Desmond is wearing a neon jumpsuit.  I MUST be in the 80s . . .”

Well, it seems that Widmore would like to hire out Desmond to be The Constant for everyone on Oceanic Flight 815 . . . well, at least everyone that mattered.  Presumably, Desmond will do this by making all of the passengers AWARE of the original timeline, the memory of which, as we learned today, lies buried in all of their subconscious minds.

How exactly is Desmond going to convince the other Losties about the original timeline?  Because if some stranger walked up to me and told me (with a Scottish accent, no less) that I was stuck in the wrong dimension, I would run in the other direction FAST!

I have one more word for you: LOVE 

Charlie (perhaps unwittingly) awakened Desmond to the existence of the original timeline, when the car the pair was driving, swerved off road and went underwater.  When Desmond tried to free Charlie from the drowning car, Charlie’s hand pressed against its window, revealing this message:

Of course, this was the same message, Charlie showed Desmond before dying during the Season 3 Lost finale episode “Through the Looking Glass.”  The message was intended to inform Desmond that the “rescue” boat that had been sent for them, was not sent to the island by Desmond’s lover, Penny.  Rather, it was a trap.  Seeing this message again, triggers Desmond’s alt-timeline memories of his love for Penny.  These memories come at him full force, later on in the episode, while he is receiving electromagnetic pulses to his brain during an MRI.  Likewise, both Charlie and Daniel Faraday began to recall THEIR alternate existences, upon seeing their respective Lostie lovers Claire and Charlotte in person.

Presumably, armed with the Oceanic Flight 815 manifest provided to him by former fellow alt-world time traveler, George Minkowski  (a chauffer and lackey for Charles Widmore in Flash-Sideways World) . . .

time traveling + NO superpowers = insanity, lots of nosebleeds, and a painful death . ..

Desmond will find all the Losties in Flash-Sideways World and attempt to trigger their memories of Real World, by tantalizing them with suggestions of lovers from another dimension . . .  which, leads me to my last question: 

Who’s YOUR Constant? 😉

Next week on Lost, we get to watch loveable Lostie Hurley talk to more dead people, make more dry (but hilarious) comments about the current state of the show, and (probably) eat some tasty treats along with way.  Awesome!

Until then . . .

Anatomy of a Trailer: Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland

By now, you know that I LOVE television shows, particularly hour-long dramas.  What you may not know is that I also love movie trailers!  It’s a bit hard for me to admit this, but, sometimes, I find movie trailers to be the best part of the movie-going experience.

(Sometimes the movie trailers you see before the movie are even better than the movie itself . . . MUCH BETTER!)

Movie trailers are not just entertaining, they are also cost efficient.  Consider this: according to the National Association for Theater Owners, the average movie ticket price in 2009 was $7.50 cents.  And I live just outside New York City, where movie tickets can set you back as much as $13!  These are some pretty hefty prices to pay for ONE MOVIE that you may or may not actually enjoy. 

On the other hand, if I get to the theater early, I can sit through 20 minutes of trailers.  These trailers contain all of the best scenes (often giving away most of the plot and, sometimes, the ending) of some FIVE or SIX movies . . . ALL FOR FREE

If you don’t get to the movies early enough to catch the trailers, that’s OK, because movie trailers are also on television.  Then again, maybe you missed the trailer for  Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland on TV too.    Perhaps you fast-forwarded through it with your DVR.  Or, maybe, you were peeing during it.  Fear not, because this is where I come in . . .

A lot of juice for one trailer right.? Here’s what I saw . . .

:18 – Mia Wasikowska, who was absolutely awesome as the troubled gymnast, Sophie, during Season 1 of HBO’s In Treatment, will be taking the helm as the titular Alice.  My initial thought was that she looked a bit old to be playing the young child from Lewis Carroll’s novels.  Later, however, I read that Burton’s Alice will not actually be a retelling of Alice in Wonderland, nor its follow-up Through the Looking Glass, but, rather, a sequel of sorts.  Here, Alice revisits Wonderland 10 years later, with no memory of her experiences from the first two books.

This is an important fact to note for high school students who are assigned the Alice books as required reading, as I was during my junior year.  This movie will NOT HELP YOU!  (Unfortunately, neither will the original Disney cartoon).

“Oh dear!  If I knew I ACTUALLY had to READ, I wouldn’t have smoked so much with Caterpillar . . .”

:22 – Is it just me, or does the guy proposing to Alice look a bit like Ronald Weasley from the Harry Potter films?

:40 – Down the rabbit hole goes Alice . . .

:54 – CGI Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are really creepy looking.  They are the size of Oompa Loompas, wear clothing like Pugsley from Addams Family, and have heads like Uncle Fester (also from the Addams Family).  No me likey . . .

:59 – The Cheshire Cat is kind of cute looking, as is the White Rabbit.  I guess Disney needed something they could sell as a stuffed animal from this film that wouldn’t give kids nightmares . . .

1:03 – Johnny Depp’s Mad Hatter looks like someone took Johnny Depp’s Edward Scissorhands, crossed him with Johnny Depp’s Willy Wonka, and dropped the amalgamation in a vat of tie dye.  One day, I’d like to see Johnny Depp really push the acting envelope and play . . . an accountant.  Now that would be risky!  (I can’t hate on Johnny Depp though.  In a Hollywood world filled with divas and D-bags, sources tell me that he is a stand up guy, not to mention a big tipper!)

1:18 – The Tea Party scene was my favorite, both in the first Alice book, and in the Disney movie.  It looks like Burton did a great job representing it here.

1:25 – Here’s Helena Bonham Carter, as the Red Queen, doing what she does best: playing a character who is wacked out, crazy, and creepy . . .  but has awesome hair!  She seems to be playing croquet using a flamingo as a mallet, just as the characters did in the first Alice book.

1:41 – Piglets are adorable, even when they have Helena Bonham Carter’s feet on them.

1:52 – Here, it looks as though Alice is the rook in a giant game of chess being played out between the Red Queen and the White Queen.  In the second Alice  book, Through the Looking Glass, a chess game is the framing device for the story, with Alice playing the pawn.  If you buy the Cliff Notes for the book, (which I did) you will actually find a chess diagram that maps out Alice’s precise chess moves in the story from pawn to Queen.  Coincidentally, a life-sized chess board was also featured in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (both in the book and in the movie version).

1:58 – Anne Hathaway looks absolutely stunning as the White Queen.  In the past few years, Hathaway has really shown herself to be a brilliantly versatile actress.  She has definitely come far since her Princess Diaries days.  I suspect we will be enjoying her films for a long time to come . . .

2:17 – Here we get our first glimpse of the Jabberwocky, which is described, in a poem that Alice reads in Through the Looking Glass, as a dragon-type monster.  Burton has said that the Jabberwocky story will be the framing device for his film, just as a card game framed the first Alice book, and a chess game framed the second.  I think this is kind of a strange choice, seeing as the Jabberwocky poem is actually jibberish.  But I’ll admit that the concept is  intriguing . . .

2:24 – Ah, another movie in 3D . . . I am really glad I saved those goofy glasses I bought last month to see Avatar.  That’s going to save me $3.00!

So, those were my thoughts on the trailer.  What did you think?