Tag Archives: Tuesday

True Blood Minisode 5 – Vampire Bill has a new “Lady Friend” . . .

Happy Tuesday, Fangbangers!  Guess what?  It’s time for yet another installment of HBO’s Drop of True Blood minisode series!  (Just in case you didn’t figure that out from reading the title to this post .  . .)  This minisode stars none-other-than Bon Temps very own, recently kidnapped, Vampire Bill! 

 “Oh wow!”  You say. 

“Is he OK?”  You wonder. 

“Where are they keeping him?   Is he being tortured?”  You cry out, in anguish.

Unfortunately, I don’t know the answer to ANY of these questions.  And watching this clip won’t exactly help YOU to answer them either.  After all, this “mini” takes place in Vampire Bill’s house.  And, in it, he’s just hanging out in his bathrobe, looking happy as a clam.  

(Why do people always say that?   Happy as a clam .  .  . Do YOU know any happy clams?  Because if I was a clam, I think I’d be pretty friggin miserable ALL THE TIME .  . . but that’s just me.)

But enough about clams . . . . back to the clip.  It pretty obviously takes place before the Season 2 finale.   Seeing as, during that episode, SOMEONE  . . . you know . . .  bound up Vampire Bill, gagged him, and dragged him away . . . presumably never to be seen until Season 3 AGAIN!

I’m thinking that — like the Sookie, Tara, and Lafayette scene that I posted here a few weeks ago — this minisode is yet another example of a  “deleted scene” from Season 2.  In it, a strange woman arrives at Vampire Bill’s home, late at night.  And she has something HE wants . . .  The question is, how far is he willing to go, to get it?  You’ll just have to watch and see . . .

Thanks again to ShirtlessLocke, for allowing clip embedding!

OK . . . OK . . . I’ll admit it.  My post title,  my intro picture, and pretty much everything I wrote here, up until I embedded the YouTube clip, were all a bit misleading.  But honestly, I don’t think ANYONE would have clicked on the link to this post, if I called it “Vampire Bill Scams a Cheap Engagement Ring Off Some Old Horny Broad.”  Can you blame me for trying to spice things up a bit?

Now, those of you who have read my previous True Blood posts, already know that I have a tendency to be a bit down on our Fangy Friend, Mister Bill, here . . .

Now, don’t get me wrong!  It’s not that I don’t like Vampire Bill!  I DO!  It’s just that he’s not . . .  this guy . . .

 . . . or this guy . . .

 . . . or THESE guys . . .

 . . . who, despite being on an ENTIRELY different show, still manage to surpass our pal, Bill, in the hot brooding vampire department.

That being said, major props to Stephen Moyer for inserting a nice bit of humor into this scene, and making Vampire Bill just a bit more likeable.  Having watched this clip, I think we all gained a bit more insight into what truly makes Vampire Bill tick . . . 

For example, we learned that he is FABULOUS bargain hunter!  Bill Compton would be a great guy to bring along with you, if you were . . . say . . . heading to your local flea market (assuming, of course, that your “local flea market” keeps night hours . . .). 

“Hey, would someone close the shades, please!  I’m starting to decay . . .”

In this “important” scene, Bill also proved himself to be a loyal lover to Sookie. 

 Then again, I’d probably be a bit more impressed with his manly “restraint,” had his temptress not borne such a resemblance to my best friend’s grandmother . . .

Now Granny, I meant that in the nicest way possible!  There’s no need to get all riled up!  Did you forget to take your meds again?

Tune in next week for the FINAL minisode of the Drop of True Blood Series.  After that  . . . Next stop SEASON 3!

Heck!  Even Josh Holloway is excited!  And this isn’t even HIS show!

Just in case you’ve missed any of the True Blood goodies previously posted on this site, you can catch the extended promo for Season 3 of True Blood here.  (Don’t forget to read the comment section.  There, my blogging buddy, Lola (of Lovely Entropy fame),  posted a FABULOUS True Blood sneak peak, one that will allow you to get a glimpse of what Vampire Eric looks like, after having endured SIX HOURS of nonstop sex!

Here’s a hint of what you might see . . .

Once you’re done drooling over that, feel free to check out past minisodes, by clicking . . .

Here (Minisode 4 – Starring Sam);

Here (Minisode 3 – Starring Sookie, Tara, and Lafayette);

Here (Minisode 2 – Starring Vampire Jessica);

and Here (Minisode 1 – Starring Vampires Eric and Pam).

True Blood Season 3 premieres on June 13th, at 9 p.m. on HBO.  Be there!  Or Vampire Bill will make you wear his ugly robe FOR ALL ETERNITY!

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What Lost’s Jacob’s “Candidate” Job Opening Might Have Looked Like, if He Posted it on Careerbuilder.com

Those of you who watched Lost’s penultimate episode, “What They Died For,” last night (which was excellent, by the way), already know that, during it, the “mysterious and godlike” Jacob finally selected Jack Shepard as his “Candidate” to replace him on the Island. 

(And, for those of you who were surprised that it ended up being Jack, I have GOOD NEWS for you!  I am in the process of selling the Empire State Building for dirt cheap!  If interested, please send a check in the amount of $1 million, made payable to TV Recappers Anonymous, at  . . .)

Yeah, it was kind of predictable (and by “kind of” I mean “very”) that Jack would take the reins as “Guarder of the Light Thingy.”  And yet, while many of us viewers immediately surmised that this would ultimately end up being the case, Jacob, himself, was not nearly as quick on the uptake.  In fact, it literally took this dude CENTURIES of bringing people to the island and watching them die senseless deaths, to solve, what was essentially, a Human Resources Issue.

But all of this could have been avoided, had Jacob simply took advantage of modern hiring technology.  (After all, we already know the Island has internet access . . . ) 

So, just for kicks, I thought it might be fun to see what a “Jacob’s Candidate” job posting might have looked like, had it actually been placed on a job search website, like Careerbuilder.com.

Employer: Jacob

Job Title:   “Protector of the Light”

Location:   Undisclosed, but we call it “The Island”

Employee Type:    Full Time (And I’m not talking a 40 – 60 hour work week, either.  I mean REALLY full, like you will do ABSOLUTELY nothing else, for the duration of your life.)

Manages Others:    Nah, we killed all the “Others.”  Except for maybe, this guy.

Job Type:   Security, Godliness

Experience:   No prior experience necessary

Salary:   Non-applicable (Your “payment” is the pride of knowing that you have been chosen over centuries of other less worthy applicants, you ungrateful turd.)

Benefits:  See “salary” description above.  But you are more than welcome to all the fish .  . . and polar bears that you want to eat.

To be honest, we haven’t actually SEEN a polar bear around these parts since Season 1.  But that’s OK.  It just means more FISH FOR YOU!

Duties:

1) Keep the Man in Black from “entering the Light”

2) Keep the Light from going out

3) Keep the Man in Black from killing you

4) Find more suitable replacement “Candidates,” just in case you fail to do items 1 through 3

5) Smolder, brood, and generally try to look self-important ALL THE TIME.

Requirements:

1) A crappy home life a MUST!

2) Nonexistent or minimal sex life . . . unless you are this guy . . .

In which case, screw all you want!

3) Daddy issues

4) God complex

5) The ability to run quickly, and cover long distances, when chased by a polar bear or puff of black smoke . . .

Transportation:  Last time we checked, there were three ways of transporting one’s self to the island.  They are: (1) plane or jet crash;

(2) shipwreck; or

3) submarine

Please note:  Here at the Island, we do not cover your relocation expenses.  However, should you arrive at the Island via means 1 or 2, you may ultimately be able to have your travel fees reimbursed, as a result of a class action lawsuit begun on your behalf.  There is no guarantee of your actually receiving such reimbursement, however, as most people in the outside world are probably going to think you are DEAD.

So, what are you waiting for?  Apply Now!  Your violent and untimely death FUTURE is just a mouse click away! 🙂

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Filed under Lost