Tag Archives: Vampire Pearl

Dr. Bloodsucking Psychopath and Mr. Congeniality – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries “Miss Mystic Falls”

It’s official.  The Vampire Diaries has become my FAVORITE show of this season!  VD continues to amaze and shock me each week, with its sharp writing, solid acting, and unpredictable plot twists (the latter being kind of a big deal for me, because I tend to predict EVERYTHING!)  Not to mention, the writers of The Vampire Diaries continue to dream up new and inventive ways to show off Paul Wesley’s insanely hot arms and Ian Somerhalder’s insanely hot face!

All right, enough of this gushy stuff!  After all, “Miss Mystic Falls” was probably the LEAST warm and fuzzy episode of the entire season!  When promos for the episode suggested the exposure of Stefan’s dark side, they weren’t kidding!  The heretofore “kindler, gentler” Salvatore wasn’t just dark this week, he was downright terrifying!

Kudos to Paul Wesley for genuinely scaring the stuffing out of me tonight.  This guy made Norman Bates look like Mister Rodgers  . . .

So, without further adieu, what do you say, we stop gabbing and BITE into this awesome episode?

A Long Time Ago, We Used to Be Friends . . .

The opening moments of “Miss Mystic Falls” were filled with awkward exchanges and a generalized sentiment of mistrust.  First there was Vampire Anna . . .

 . . . who visited Damon on the pretense of apologizing for the whole “Stefan getting chained up and tortured, two weeks ago” thing.  But really, the whole purpose of the exchange, I THINK, was to let us viewers know that the writers have decided to scrap the whole Hidey Hole Vampires storyline.  (Good Call, VD!)  Anna explains that MOST of the aforementioned vamps skipped down last week, and therefore, could not have been responsible for the recent “blood bank” robbery that is now rocking Mystic Falls.  Damon sees Anna’s speech as the plot device it clearly is, and refuses to accept her apology. YOU GO, BOY!

Dear BFF Elena,

The good news is, I’m back.  The bad news is, I’ve decided to hate your guts . . .

Hugs and kisses!

Bonnie

Back at school, Bonnie, who has been largely MIA of late, runs into Elena in the parking lot.  These two haven’t seen one another since that time when Elena got Bonnie and her Granny to do that spell to seal up the Hidey Hole Vampire Tomb, the performance of which actually ended up killing Poor Granny.  Oh yeah, and it didn’t even work!  The vampires ended up escaping the tomb, anyway.  Insensitive Elena apparently decided to inform Bonnie of this fact, just days after she had to bury her own grandmother!

“What?  Who WOULDN’T want to know that their favorite relative had to die to further along a failed plotline?”

Given all that, I can’t really blame Bonnie for being icy to Elena, or for hating on the Salvatore brothers for the role they played in Granny’s demise.  I CAN, however, blame her for those weird bangs she was rocking during this episode.  Not cute!  Fortunately, for the girls, Caroline . . .

 . . . interrupts this love fest, to inform Elena that both she and Caroline are part of the Mystic Falls Founder’s Day Court, and are to compete in the “Miss Mystic Falls” pageant this year.  Elena had completely forgotten about the event, having only signed up for it to please her now-dead adoptive Mommy.

Meanwhile, Creepy Uncle John . . .

 . . . blackmails Damon.  Telling him that he will expose the Salvatore brothers as vampires UNLESS Damon agrees to help Creepy Uncle John find some weird ” invention” that a vampire stole from his ancestor, back during Civil War times.  Who stole the “invention,” you ask?  Vampire Pearl, of course!

As if poor Damon wasn’t having a crappy enough day, he returns home to find Stefan (despite his claims of being clean) leaning ravenously over an entire freezer, filled with blood stolen from the local blood bank!  Not cool!  Stefan, of course, promises Damon that he has everything “under control.”  However, when Elena calls to ask him to act as her escort for the pageant, he blatantly lies to her about his “drinking” — a very un-Stefan like thing to do.  Later, at school, Stefan comes very close to eating a teen with a bloody knee, and even attacks Alaric . . .

 . . . when the latter accidentally gets in his way.

The Thrill of Almost Touching, The Agony of Almost Eating . . .

Moments before the Mystic Falls pageant is set to begin, Damon, who has become convinced that Stefan’s new addiction will put them all at risk, informs Elena that Stefan is still consuming human blood.  When Stefan arrives on the scene, Elena confronts him about his lies.  Stefan responds by getting all pissy and wall-punchy . . . He then runs away, like a little bitch, leaving Elena to fend for herself during the pageant ceremonies . . .

“So, I’ve been behaving like a TOTAL ASS throughout this entire episode.  So, what?   I still look super sexy with my shirt off.  And NO ONE can take that away from me!”

When it comes time for Elena to be escorted at the pageant, Damon jumps in at the last minute to be her Knight and Shining Vampire.  And even though we all knew that this was going to happen, from watching the previews, I’m quite certain that the entire female VD watching population SQUEALED with joy when he appeared at the end of that staircase. 

Stefan’s bad behavior these past few episodes, has only further illustrated how much of a better match Damon is for Elena.  Need more proof?  Just check out the sultry and longing looks these two give one another during the “first dance” A.K.A “the prey circling, animal mating ritual.”  When Elena performs this “ritual” with Stefan during rehearsals, it seems stiff and awkward.  With Damon, it is PURE SEX!

“What?  Did you think I WASN’T going to find some excuse to include this picture in my recap AGAIN?  You clearly don’t know me at all . . .”

Despite all this sexiness, Elena actually DIDN’T become Miss Mystic Falls.  Caroline did .  . .

 . . . which was nice, because she CLEARLY wanted it so much more than Elena did.  However, it makes me worried for her, because Elena usually beats her at everything

Have you ever had someone who was always really nasty to you, and then, all the sudden, they started acting really nice?  So, you figured you must be DYING of some disease you didn’t know about, because that would be the ONLY way to rationally explain this person’s sudden change in behavior?   This is kind of how I think Caroline should feel about the world . . .  Seeing as VD is set to have two additional major deaths prior to the conclusion of Season 1, if I were Caroline, I would be getting myself on that All-Vervain diet, STAT!

Back in Whiny Bitch Land, Hungry Stefan is still brooding over his recent fight with Elena, when he encounters, pageant contestant, Amber, innocently catching some air.  Stefan forcefully drags Amber into the woods with him.  He then compels her to stand still and act blissfully calm, as he describes, emotionlessly, and in graphic detail, his overwhelming desire to rip her neck open and devour her whole .  . . 

Awww!  How Sweet!

 . . . and I’m thinking, “This is Stefan!  He’s not ACTUALLY going to bite her.” 

Stefan then compels Amber to run, and she does.  And I think, “Phew!”

But then . . . Stefan does his fast Running Man Vampire thing, and HE BITES HER!  Not just a little, either.  Stefan bites Amber right on her carotid artery.  You know . . . that part of your neck, which, if it bleeds, makes you . . . like . . . DIE . . . and stuff.  Fortunately, it’s DAMON TO THE RESCUE!

UNFORTUNATELY, Stefan throws Damon INTO A TREE and KNOCKS HIM OUT!  But then Bonnie appears, out of no where, and does that creepy, possessed, eyes-rolled-back in her head thing, she likes to do, every once in a while, on this show.  Suddenly, Stefan gets this really bad headache (from looking at Bonnie’s bad bangs?).  So, he lets go of Amber, in search of some Vampire-Sized Advil . . .

Later that evening, Stefan and Elena fight over his addiction, and Stefan THROWS ELENA AGAINST A WALL!  Elena hugs Stefan, telling him that everything is going to be all right. And, just when I’m thinking I’ve walked in on a “Bad After-School Special About an Abusive Relationships” . . .

 . . .Elena STABS STEFAN IN THE BACK!!!!! 

Then Damon magically appears. 

He helps Elena carry an unconscious, and, slightly evil, Stefan (who, I hate to say it, STILL looks kind of sexy, wearing that now, appropriately-titled, “wife beater”) . . .

 . . . into a sort of “holding pen,” where they will undoubtedly attempt to force him into Human Blood Withdrawal.  (Poor Stefan!  Always tied up or incarcerated, it seems . . . both in the books and on TV).  Damon offers to take Elena home, but she refuses.  In the final moments of the episode, the pair sit together in silence, forced to endure the suffering of the man they both love . . .

In Other News . . .

1) Jeremy reconnected with Anna (and, like Bonnie, got a kind of sucky-looking 90’s era haircut . . )

2) Pearl and Damon teamed up against Creepy Uncle John (hereinafter “CUJ”).  To cement their bond, Pearl handed over to Damon the “invention”  CUJ was looking for.  Surprise, surprise!   It appears to be YET ANOTHER magical piece of jewelry . . . The only difference here, is that no one has any clue what this one is actually supposed to DO!

That’s all for now, VDers!  Tune in next week, when Elena and Damon become overwhelmed with passion for one another and start making out hardcore on the staircase of the Salvatore home. 

OK, OK, I’m lying . . . for NOW . . . but IT’S COMING.  I CAN FEEL IT!

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The Vampire Diaries: Who’s Getting Staked? (Contains Some Spoilers)

Who will be cropped out of this picture, in time for Season 2?

If you’ve read this blog .  . . um . . . EVER, you probably already know that I am kind of what you would call a CRAZY OBSESSED fan of The VD.  So, of course, when I was reviewing the E! Online Weekly Spoiler Chat and found this . . .

“Any info about the death of a major character on The Vampire Diaries?
I can tell you that there’ll be not one, but two major deaths by the end of season one, and that the two goners often have overlapping storylines. Any guesses?”
 . . . needless to say, I was intrigued.
Fans of The Vampire Diaries know that one of the main staples of the show,  is its habit of awarding at least one unlucky cast member (typically a “one-episode wonder”) the Senseless Death Award, each week.  However, the show genuinely surprised many (myself included) during mid season, by bestowing this “prestigious award” upon none other than Vicki Donovan . . .
 
 . . . a series regular, whose storylines regularly entwined with most of the main characters, including Jeremy Gilbert (He briefly dated her.), Matt Donovan (She was his brother), and Damon Salvatore (He TURNED HER INTO A VAMPIRE!!!!).  After that happened, VD fans quickly learned that NO ONE is safe in Mystic Falls (unless, of course, you happen to own that Ring of Immortality, which is seemingly being passed around on the show, like a bad virus).
 
My spoilery sources have already informed me that castmembers definitively safe from the stake, include:
Elena Gilbert (duh);
Stefan Salvatore (DOUBLE duh);
Damon Salvatore (THANK THE LORD!); and
Tyler Stratton (meh).
Additionally, I have read that the dying cast member(s) will be DEAD, DEAD.  In other words, no vampiric rebirth for him and/or her . . .
So, without further adieu, let’s take a look at which VD castmembers are potentially on the chopping block; and analyze why the writers might decide to send those particular characters to that big ole’ Blood Bank in the Sky . . .
 Bonnie Bennett
 Why she might be a goner:  Bonnie was a major player in early VD episodes, but she’s been kind of MIA of late.  Could the writers be trying to prepare us for a more permanent absence of this character?
 
Why she might be safe:  With all these Sexy Shirtless Fangtastic men in her life, Elena REALLY needs a good gal pal to put everything into its proper perspective.  And the shallow, sometimes-bitchy, Caroline doesn’t really measure up, in this respect.  Plus, Bonnie is FINALLY getting a handle on those awesome witchy powers of hers!  It would be a real shame if the writers axed the character, before us fans got a chance to see her reach her full supernatural potential . . .
 Caroline Forbes
 Why she might be a goner:  Let’s face it. Caroline’s relationship with new beau Matt is kind of played out.  I just don’t see much chemistry between this platinum blonde duo.  And since it is unlikely that Caroline will align herself with Damon again, and equally unlikely that she will be able to make a successful play for Stefan, romantic opportunities for this gal are already few and far between.  One thing we know about writers for CW shows, they DESPISE a single gal!
 
Why she might be safe:  Every high school drama needs its resident mean girl.  And, right now, Caroline is the closest thing that VD has to one.  Sure, lately, the character seems to have retracted those claws that she exhibited in earlier episodes.  However, if the writers ever decide to change that, I have real easy fix for them in my “Matt Donovan” explanation, below . . .
 
 Aunt Jenna
 Why she might be a goner?  I hate to say it, but this character is boring and grating.  For one thing, the actress who plays her was terribly miscast.  (She looks and acts more like a high school pal of Elena’s, than any sort of legal guardian for her.)  Plus, the writers have tried to pair Aunt Jenna with literally EVERY age-appropriate suitor on the show, to NO AVAIL!  Bumping off Aunt Jenna would be a great way for the writers to erase their obvious mistake . . .
 
Why she might be safe?  Those poor Gilbert kids.  They just can’t win!  First they lost both of their parents simultaneously in a freak car accident.  Then Jeremy’s girlfriend died.  (As if that wasn’t bad enough, he later found out that she was killed by his sister’s boyfriend.)  Then Elena found out that she was adopted, after her then-teenage mom was turned into a vampire by her boyfriend’s brother (and future love interest, I hope).  For the writers to kill off yet another Gilbert guardian just seems too cruel!  Who would get custody of the minor Gilberts then?  Creepy Uncle John?
 
 Matt Donovan
 Why he might be a goner:  Remember how, earlier, I suggested that it would be in the writers’ best interest to turn Caroline bad?  Well nothing says “downward spiral” like the death of your Golden Boy Boyfriend . . . Aside from that, Matt is just a nice guy.  And “nice guys” don’t exactly fare well in towns run by vampires and other assorted supernatural creatures . . .  Sometimes, for me, anyway, this character seems a bit out of place on VD.  It’s almost as if he was plucked out of another show (Friday Night Lights, anyone?) and plopped right in the middle of Mystic Falls.  Thirdly, Matt’s function on the show seemed largely to be the stable human male in Elena’s life.  The one willing to perpetually wait in the wings for her, while she literally tasted more exotic men.  The removal of Elena’s “safety net” might cause her to seriously re-evaluate her decision to “hang with all the vamps.”  That would be an interesting turn of events, indeed.
 
Why he might be safe:  With Stefan becoming hooked on human blood and starting to keep secrets from Elena, Elena may need to fall back on her “safety net” sooner than she initially expected.  And it wouldn’t hurt the writers to add a human male to the preexisting vampiric love triangle that is Stefan,Damon, and Elena.  Love square, anyone?
 
 Jeremy Gilbert
 Why he might be a goner:  The look on the younger Gilbert’s face when he learned from Elena’s diary that Stefan had killed Vicki, and Damon had erased that fact from Jeremy’s memory, was BEYOND PISSED!  And we all know what testosteroney male teens do when they are REAL PISSED . . . stupid stuff, that’s what!  Seeing as the sources of Jeremy’s anger are two blood thirsty vampires, doing “stupid stuff” just might get him killed . . .
 
Why he might be safe: Jeremy has become quite the fan favorite, of late. Not to mention that his baby-faced good looks likely bring a younger demographic to the show, which might be lost without him.   Jeremy is popular enough with fans, that his death just might spark a fan revolt.  Plus, I think Elena’s little brother has a lot more stories left in him.  His relationship with his sister has yet to be fully explored.  Ditto regarding his relationship with Vampire Anna (unless, of course, the writers decide to kill her too).
 
 Alaric Saltzman
Why he might be a goner:  Poor Alaric is a history teacher.  And everyone knows that in teen horror shows and flicks, the teacher is always the first to go!  Plus, we already know, based on foreshadowing, that the Isobel / Alaric / Damon storyline will be coming to a head during the season finale.  The death of Alaric would punctuate that storyline with a tragic ending — one that would ripple outward — effecting all of VD’s main characters.
 
Why he might be safe:  I was just starting to LIKE Alaric!  His growing bromance with snarky vampire Damon has been awesome to watch!  I can envision a number of future storylines in which self-proclaimed vampire hunter, Alaric, uses his unique knowledge of the supernatural to help Elena and Co. combat the many assorted monster baddies that are sure to plague Mystic Falls in future episodes.  Besides, didn’t that professor from Buffy the Vampire Slayer stick around, throughout most of the show’s duration?
I’ve decided not to include . . .
Vampire Anna,
Vampire Pearl, or
Julie Cooper Nichols Matt’s Slutty Mom in my analysis, as none of the three could be characterized as “series regulars.”  However, it goes without saying, that none of THEM are completely safe from an untimely finale demise either . . .
 
And with that, I would like to leave you with, not one, but TWO sneak peaks of next week’s upcoming installment of The Vampire Diaries, “Miss Mystic Falls.”  Enjoy!

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