Anatomy of a Trailer: Black Swan

Of all the film trailers invading my television screen, lately, the one that intrigues me most is the trailer for Black Swan, starring Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis.  Not only is there already Oscar Buzz surrounding the film’s two stars, there is also much tongue wagging about an “agressive, ecstasy-fueled, sex scene” rumored to take place between them, during in the film.  And you know how much I love my Aggressive Ecstasy-Fueled Sex Scenes!

Aside from that, the trailer for this intense psychological thriller, about a ballerina who (possibly?) loses her mind during rehearsals for a performance of Swan Lake, looks pretty darn amazing.  Let’s check it out, shall we?

:14 – “I had the craziest dream last night . . . about a girl who was turned into a swan.  But her prince falls for the wrong girl.  And . . . she kills herself.”

Hey!  Way to spoil the ending of the movie, Natalie!

:21

Ooh!  This scene reminds me of a scene from another movie.  Does anybody else remember Center Stage?

 I’m guessing this movie is going to be ten times better than that one.  I’ve actually seen Center Stage about 15 times.  I also own the DVD, and have the film’s soundtrack in high rotation on my iPod.

:23 – “He promised to feature me more this season.”

That’s Vincent Cassel.  He, or somebody who looks just like him, played the Bad Guy in every action film I’ve ever seen.  He was also the only cool part of that Ocean Twelve movie aside from the INSANELY HOT CAST.  I highly recommend watching the film on mute.  It’s a much better experience.  Trust me.  (Click on the embedded link below, to see what I mean.)

:25 – “He should.  You’ve been there long enough.”

BURN!  You’ve gotta love passive aggressive moms who make not-so-subtle comments about your being OLD.  Barbara Hershey may be looking pretty evil now.   But I cried like a baby when her character died in Beaches

Then again, I was REALLY young the first time I watched Beaches, so it’s possible I was just upset that my favorite Fluffy Bear stuffed animal got lost under my bed.

:26 –

That’s the face I made when I lost my Fluffy Bear Barbara Hershey died in Beaches.

:32 –

As far as directors / producers go, Darren Aronofsky is pretty A-list.  Those of you who (like me) had nightmares for weeks, after watching Requiem for a Dream (a movie that doubled as the most effective DON’T DO DRUGS PSA I have EVER seen!), can think him for that. 

He also directed the Oscar award-winning The Wrestler, starring Mickey Rourke. 

But, just in case reading this has made you overly jealous of Darren Aronofsky, he just recently divorced Rachel Weisz.  

So, at least we know he’s not perfect  .  . .

:39 – “I’m Lily.”

That’s Mila Kunis.  She’s awesome.  Some of you might remember her as Jason Segal’s love interest in Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Others might enjoy her “voice,” as Meg, in The Family Guy

But, for me, Mila will always be the shallow, self-absorbed (but still oddly likeable) Jackie from That 70’s Show

Jackie spent most of the show in an on and off relationship with Ashton Kutcher’s dim-witted character, Michael. 

But, sometimes, she fooled around with Danny Masterson’s Hyde. 

And then, randomly, the writers made her end up with Wilmer Valderrama’s Fez?

WTF!

:44 –

Both Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman were rumored to have lost 20 pounds a piece to better “embody the bodies” of ballerinas.  Honestly, they were both so thin to begin with, I’m not sure how that is scientifically possible!

:45 – “I watch the way she moves, sensual.  SHE’S not faking it.”

OOOH!   Burned again, Natalie!  TWICE in one trailer!

:57 – “Feel my touch.  Respond to it.”

YES, PLEASE!

1:00 – “Someone’s hot for teacher.”

Hot for Teacher = An excellent Van Halen song (and music video) . . .

1:23 –

Rough sex?

1:12 “They made me your understudy.”

For those who haven’t read up on the film, the basic premise is this:  Natalie Portman’s character, Nina, is cast as the lead in Swan Lake, a part which requires the dancer to assume the roles of both the innocent White Swan, and the seductive Black Swan.  While Natalie’s Nina seems ideal to play the White Swan, her new nemesis, Lily (Mila Kunis) better embodies the darkness of the Black Swan.  As an understudy, Lily is quite literally, Nina’s doppelganger.  And you know how much I LOVE doppelgangers . . .

1:19 Let the Doppelganger Hijinks Crazed Lunacy and Latent Lesbianism ensue . . .

By the way, if you look closely, you’ll notice that the girl in black is NOT Mila Kunis, it’s Natalie Portman.  But wait . . . so is the girl in white.  I’m confused!

1:27 – Ladies, here’s the image you can use to get your boyfriends to go see this film with you.  I have four words for you (and them) “Ecstasy-Fueled Hate Sex.”

1:25 – Look!  It’s Winona Ryder!

1:28 – Not your best look Natalie . . . I’m not going to lie.

1:35 – Here, Natalie does her best impression of Kevin from the Home Alone movies . . .

1:36 – *Sings* Paranoia, paranoia, everybody’s coming to get me . . . and ruin my artwork.

1:39 – “What happened to my sweet girl?”

Sweet Girl is not home right now.  But if you leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message, she’ll get right back to you as soon as she finishes breaking mirrors, freaking the f*ck out, and going on a murderous rampage as soon as possible.

1:53 –

First of all . . . ewwwww!

Second of all, don’t you hate it when you start growing black swan feathers out of your back?  Then again, maybe that’s just an ingrown hair . . .

1:54 – Visine – It gets the red out.

Black Swan swims into theaters December 3rd.  Will YOU see it?

[www.juliekushner.com]

5 Comments

Filed under Black Swan, Movie Trailer Recaplets

5 responses to “Anatomy of a Trailer: Black Swan

  1. Confession time: I have seen Centre Stage just as many times as you, even though it is ridiculoulsy cheesy even by my lenient standards. I think I just may have to recap that movie one day, if only so I can mock the physical impossibilities in the climactic dance scene – I’m sure you know what I’m referring to 🙂 Little fun fact: the actress who played Jodi is now on One Tree Hill!

    Now, if only we can get the MALE equivalent of an “agressive, ecstasy-fueled, sex scene” with Jyler!

    • Yay! Another closet Center Stage fan! My favorite WTF moment of the Climactic Dance Scene from that film was the scene in Jodi’s “ballet number” when she’s dancing screwing her dance instructor, half-naked, on the bed in front of an audience. First of all, that’s more horizontal mambo than ballet, right? And, second of all, inappropriate much?

      Oh, and you had to love all the Presto Chango Costume Changes that happened right before your eyes during that same dance scene! Man, I love that movie. I’ve gotta go watch that again . . . 😉

      *Sigh* Now, I’m totally picturing an Agressive Ecstasy Fueled Jyler sex scene, and probably will be picturing it for the rest of the day. So, thanks for that! (No, seriously, thank you. It’s very yummy.) 🙂

      • Hehe! You’re very welcome 😉 With all the throwing against walls that goes on in Jyler scenes, it isn’t such a stretch of the imagination either 🙂

        The Presto Chango Costume Change I loved the most was when Jodi moved with superhuman speed to join the dancing ballet girls line in a way that defied quantum physics. Awesome!

        Plus her dance instructor a douche and not even a particularly hot douche at that (which would have gone a long way towards me forgiving him of everything), so the horizontal mambo was pretty excruciating to watch.

        The other fabulous part of Centre Stage. Peter Gallagher’s valiant efforts to apply the same acting tenacity to the role as he would any other. Every other actor phoned it in, knowing they were just in a dance movie, but it warmed my heart to see him approach every speech scene with the passion of a Braveheart war rally.

  2. MamzelleSmiiley

    Waouuuh Jvais tRoow lecouter Se Film laaw ❤

    • Hi Mamzelle! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. I ended up seeing Black Swan as well, and really enjoyed it. Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis were both AMAZING in their roles. They literally took my breath away, while I was watching them. This was such an intense and riveting film.

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