My Ten New TV Boyfriends of 2011 . . .

As the New Year approaches, I suspect that many of you are taking this time to reflect on the year past.  Perhaps, you are even wondering how you might be able to improve your life in the upcoming year.

Meh!  Self-reflection is overrated, I say.  As for me?  I prefer to use this time to think back on all the hot new fictional TV characters I’ve met this past year, and decide which ones are worthy of being added to my ever-growing TV Boyfriend List . . .

Now, I’m the first to admit that, when it comes to TV Boyfriends, I tend to be a bit on the slutty side (sometimes “dating” as many as  twenty television characters at once) . . .

Nevertheless, making it onto my List is still a rather competitive process for prospective faux-beaus.  After all, I’ve watched A LOT of television, during my time on this planet.  As a result, there are characters on my List that have been getting into my increasingly crowded panties, since the late 90’s.  (I’m looking at you, Pacey Witter.)

So, if a TV character wants to date me, he better be pretty damn special.  Because, when it comes to fictional men, I’ve literally seen it all!

Nonetheless, 2011 ended up being a pretty great year for TV Boyfriends.  New additions to my List run the gamut from fairytale characters, to warlocks, to bartenders.  I even managed to squeeze a little person in there!

So, without further adieu, I proudly present to you (in no particular order) my Ten New TV Boyfriends of 2011 . . .

1. Wade Kinsella – Hart of Dixie

Who plays him: Wilson Bethel

Why we’re “dating”: 

Just like Hart of Dixie’s own Zoe Hart, I’m both a city girl, and a native East Coaster.  And whether or not we like to admit it, us East Coast girls can be a bit high strung.  We could really use a laidback, small town, southern guy to keep us grounded, and prevent us from “sweating the small stuff.”  Whether he’s playing video games, jamming on his guitar, or cooking up a prize-winning pot of gumbo, Wade is a guy who knows how to have a good time.

Wade is a man’s man, through and through.  He doesn’t put on airs, or stand on ceremony.   You can always count on him to be straight and honest with you, whether or not you necessarily want him to be.  He’s also quite the ladies’ man, not that this should be any surprise .  . .

And yet, Wade has a soft side too.  He cares about his family and his friends.  And he can always be counted on to lend a helping hand, when they really need him.  And as much as he might mess around with the local floozies, deep down, I think Wade is a one-woman man, as evidenced by his adorable, suffer-in-silence pining over one, Zoe Hart.

Moments when he won my heart:

*When he kissed Zoe to “calm her down” . . .

*When he sang Moon River with his drunken dad to get him down from a roof ledge . . .

*When he cooked a prize-winning gumbo pot for Zoe, but let her take all the credit for it . . .

*When he offered to drive Zoe to the airport, in a tacit admission that he had feelings for her . . .

*When he called out George for leading Zoe on, when the two spent the night in jail . . .

*When he told Zoe that she taught others how to be “amazing” . . .
For your consideration:

2. Nick Miller – New Girl

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Who plays him: Jake Johnson

Why we’re “dating”:

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There’s just something super endearing about a grumpy guy . . . especially when you are one of the few people that can make him smile.  Like many of us, Nick is still figuring some things out about his life.  He’s a smart guy, and a law school graduate, but he isn’t quite sure what career path he wants to take.  He’s a “relationship guy,” but he just got out of a devastating relationship, and might not be quite ready to fall in love again . . .

However, Nick doesn’t let these shortcomings detract from who he is as a person.  If anything, his self-deprecating sense of humor, and good-humored, if slightly sarcastic, take on life makes him more relatable and approachable.  This is likely why most of the roommates in the house go to Nick first for advice.  And yet, as wise and grounded as Nick can be,  he’s not afraid to let his adorkable flag fly, when it’s warranted, or when his friends need a good laugh.

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As a friend, Nick’s a pretty considerate guy . . . one who almost always puts his friends needs before his own.   And even though he can tend to be a bit jealous sometimes, he never lets that get in the way of his friendships.  Oh, and I almost forgot, like Wade, Nick is a bit of a “piner.”  And the way he looks at Jess, when he thinks nobody is watching will most definitely turn you to mush. . .

Moments when he won my heart:

* When he convinced his roommates to leave a hot party, so that they could all serenade a recently stood up Jess . . .

*The way he looked at Jess, the first time he saw her in a dress . . .

*When he “fixed” the house soap dispenser, by attaching a wooden spoon to it . . .

*When he got super jealous of Jess and Paul, but still followed them to the back of the shopping line on Black Friday, so they wouldn’t be left out . . .

*When his feet pointed at Jess, wherever she went (a sure sign of attraction, if ever there was one) 😉 . . .

*When he missed Christmas with his parents to bring Jess to Candy Cane Lane, so that she could see the “pretty lights” . . .

For your consideration:

3.  Derek Hale – Teen Wolf

Who plays him: Tyler Hoechlin

Why we’re “dating”:

Derek Hale really is the best of both worlds.  He’s dark and dangerous . . . yet highly moral, loyal, and fiercely protective of those he cares about.  He’s masculine and tough, yet sensitive and vulnerable.  He’s got a bit of a temper, but he’s also surprisingly funny, and an exceptionally patient teacher.  He’s kind of a loner.  And yet he’s no stranger to “pack mentality.”  He can be cold and aloof sometimes, yet warm and caring other times.

Though Derek’s been hurt and betrayed in the past by those he loved, this hasn’t stopped him from caring about others, and looking out for their best interest.  Derek is the kind of boyfriend, who would always make you feel safe and protected, but would never be too clingy or overbearing.  He’d always be there for you, when you needed him, but would be willing to give you space when you didn’t.  I mean, so what if he sometimes gets hairy, and howls at the moon?  We all have our idiosyncrasies!

And have you SEEN this guy’s body?  It’s genuinely mesmerizing . . .

Moments when he won my heart:

*Every time he rescued damsel-in-distress Scott from certain doom . . .

*His sexy homoerotic “locker press” with Jackson . . .

*His surprising show of vulnerability with Kate, and when he found his sister’s corpse . . .

*His hilarious exchanges with Stiles, most notably, that one time Stiles tried to “pimp” him out to his gay friend . . .

*When he did pull ups half-naked, in his ramshackle house . . . (THANK YOU MTV!)

For your consideration:

4. Sheriff Graham / The Huntsman – Once Upon a Time

Who plays him: Jaime Dornan

Why we’re “dating”:

Having literally had his heart crushed by an evil queen, Sheriff Graham may not have been long for TV land, but he will most certainly live happily ever after in our hearts.  An animal lover, with expert aim (which can come in VERY handy, if you catch my drift), plenty of energy in the sack, and a high tolerance for liquor, this hard working public servant will most certainly be keeping you warm and happy during those long cold nights in Storybrooke.  Did I mention he has an adorable accent, and a sexy voice that will make you go weak at the knees every time he opens his mouth?

But lest you think my relationship with the Sheriff is just superficial, I can also tell you that, despite what he might tell you to the contrary, Sheriff Graham has a good heart.   He’s a hero, a protector, and a savior of those in need.  Plus, despite his murky past, and dubious history, he’s managed to stay surprisingly innocent.  There’s an almost childlike quality about him that’s quite refreshing.  Perhaps, that comes from spending so many years inside a children’s book . . .

Moments when he won my heart:

*When he drunkenly kissed Emma for the first time . . .

*When he (as the Huntsman) beat up some barmen for talking smack about wolves . . .

*When he (as the Huntsman) was brought to tears by Snow White’s letter, and ultimately spared her life . . .

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*When he sat with young Henry and learned about his history in Fairytale World . . .

*When he finally got up the courage to dump the Mayor’s ass . . .

*When he lovingly kissed Emma for the second time, just moments before his heart . . . turned to dust.

*Anytime he wore those super tight pants . . .

For your consideration:

5. Tyrion Lannister – Game of Thrones

Who plays him: Peter Dinklage

Why we’re dating:

This may seem like an odd choice to some.  But hey, I’m only 5’3”.  So, height has never really been an issue for me.  (Also, I hate wearing high heels . . .)  Though I despise most of his family members (which means we could probably never marry), Tyrion himself is a terrific catch, in my eyes.  He’s exceptionally smart, amazingly resourceful, exceedingly wealthy, uproariously funny, honest almost to a fault, and surprisingly honorable.

Though he comes from a very powerful family, Tyrion is most certainly not a snob.  In fact, he often acts as a champion for the weak and less fortunate.  Though not necessarily the most able-bodied of the bunch, Tyrion can use his intelligence and wit to get himself out of even the stickiest of situations.  And he knows how to get what he wants.

On top of that, Tyrion is a blast to hang out with.  He drinks like a fish, curses like a sailor, screws like an Adonis, and always has a joke or hilarious story handy, when the party is getting too stale.  In a world that is dark, bleak, and filled with war, Tyrion never takes himself or the situations in which he finds himself too seriously.  Optimistic, fun-loving, and good-natured, this is exactly the kind of guy, you want on your side, especially when “winter is coming” . . .

Moments when he won my heart:

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* When he helped the newly crippled Bran come to terms with his paralysis . .  .

*When he told the story of his first love . . .

*When he confessed to ALL of his sins, in front of the Moon Door . . .

*When he won a fierce deadly battle, despite being unconscious for most of it . . .

*When he proved that at least one Lannister, does, in fact, always pay his debts . . .

For your consideration:

6. Schmidt – New Girl

Who plays him: Max Greenfield

Why we’re “dating”:

Sure, he owns a Douchebag Jar, sometimes wears women’s kimonos, and gets a bit persnickety about his cooking, but, rest assured, if you are hanging out with Schmidt, you’re going to be having a great time.  You will also be laughing a lot . . . sometimes with him . . . sometimes at him.  A notorious ladies man, who’s clearly very comfortable with his sexuality, Schmidt feels just as comfortable being “one of the girls,” as he does being “one of the guys.”  Whether he’s at a baby shower, a wedding, or playing Sexy Santa at the office Christmas function, Schmidt is always sure to be the life of the party.  He’s also an impeccable dresser, with great hair.  So, if you are ever in need of fashion tips, he’s your guy.  (Just don’t let him choose your perfume . . .)

As if all that wasn’t enough, Schmidt is also super sweet and an unabashed romantic . . . when he’s not being douchey, that is!

Moments when he won my heart:

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*When he watched Curly Sue with Jess . . .

*When he singlehandedly saved a baby shower, by getting everybody (except for the mother-to-be) completely wasted . . .

*When, at the same party, he drank out of a giant baby bottle . . .

*When he admitted to not liking to sleep alone . . .

*When he saved Thanksgiving Dinner . . .

*When he played Sexy Santa at the Office Christmas Party . . .

*When he bought Cece her own personal perfume.  (Regardless of how bad it smelled, it’s the thought that counts, PEOPLE!)

*When he made this dating video . . .

For your consideration:

7. Owen Sleater – Boardwalk Empire

Who plays him: Charlie Cox

Why we’re “dating”:

Every girl wants a bad boy.  And Owen Sleater’s as bad as they come.  A hit man, and professional “enforcer,” Owen has no qualms about stealing, committing murder, or sleeping with another man’s betroved.  Don’t let his sweet smile, boyish good looks, and adorable accent fool you.  Owen is a very dangerous man.  He’s strong, smart, incredibly resourceful, and can be very manipulative when he wants to be.

But Owen Sleater can also be a true gentleman, one who sweeps ladies off of their feet, with his incredible acts of kindness, declarations of adoration, shameless flirtation, and calm, self-assured nature.  Owen might have a criminal’s brain, and a killer’s body, but he has a lover’s heart, and deep down, I think, a good soul.  Like many of the men on this list, Owen is a caretaker, and a protector.  And he’s going to make one lucky lady very happy some day . . . if he doesn’t get himself killed first . . .

Moments when he won my heart:

*His surprisingly awkward, and adorably cute, early flirtations with Margaret . . .

*His surprisingly friendly standoff at gunpoint with Richard Harrow . . .

*The sexy, and brilliant way he explained the inner workings of the explosives he was making to blow up Mickey’s liquor distillery . . .

*How he told Margaret that he was hers to “command” . . .

*The way he always looks at Margaret . . .

*The fierce growl he let out, when he finally had his way with Margaret . . .

*The look on his face, when he found out Emily was diagnosed with polio . . .

*The way he helped Margaret fix Emily’s leg braces . . .

*The solemn, and slightly sad, look on his face, as he acted as a witness to Margaret’s and Nucky’s wedding . . .

For your consideration:

8. Charles Meade – The Secret Circle

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Who plays him: Gale Harold

Why we’re dating:

If Owen Sleater is a “bad boy,” Charles Meade is arguably an “evil man.”  When he ignited the fire that killed his supposed long-time friend Amelia Blake, in the pilot episode of The Secret Circle, I got chills.  When he used a crystal to turn Jane Blake into a Stepford Wife / zombie in more recent episodes, I gasped.  Charles is an incredibly powerful warlock, one that will stop at nothing to get what he wants.  The fact that his motives for doing the things he does are, as of yet, not entirely clear, make him even more frightening . . . and intriguing.

That said, people are not all good, or all bad.  Most tend to reside within the shades of grey, and Charles Meade is no exception.  We’ve seen this man experience extreme guilt, and even have an emotional breakdown, as a result of his part in the accidental death of Nick Armstrong.  We’ve also seen him show love and concern for his daughter Diana, and affection for his longtime friend and fellow coven-mate Dawn.

Aside from all that, there’s just something about Charles Meade that makes me think that he lives by a rather rigid moral code.  He seems to truly believe that the things he’s doing are in service of the greater good.  Many times he’s even expressed disapproval toward Dawn, when she behaved particularly rashly, or hurt someone he felt didn’t need to be hurt.  This evidence leads me to believe that Charles Meade’s motives might be more benevolent than many viewers assume them to be . . .

Besides, there are plenty of perks to dating a sexy, strong, mysterious warlock.  I mean, when you think about it, the possibilities are absolutely endless . . .

Moments when he won my heart:

*When he broke down, following Nick’s death . . .

*Anytime he uses his sexy, eargasmic, spell-casting voice . . .

*During his flirtations with Dawn . . .

*During his father/daughter moments with Diana . . .

For your consideration: 

9. Prince Charming / James – Once Upon a Time

Who plays him: Joshua Dallas

 Why we are “dating”:

There’s a reason the phrase “Prince Charming” has come to embody the Ideal Man.  He’s strong, heroic, debonair, dashing, incredibly handsome, and, let’s not forget, how his KISSES SAVE LIVES!  And yet, admittedly, in children’s books, I always found the character of Prince Charming to be kind of wooden, and woefully personality-free.  Fortunately, in Once Upon a Time, the writers have managed to come up with a character who actually lives up to his name . . .

Unlike the traditional, born-with-a-silver-spoon-in-his-mouth fairytale prince, our Prince Charming lived most of his life as a poor, sheep herder, in a remote town.  He worked hard, took care of his mother, who he loved dearly, and expected very little out of life.  In this new world post-recession world of 99%ers, where most of us “have-nots” deeply resent the “haves,” the fact that Prince Charming came from humble beginnings, and can, therefore appreciate the riches bestowed on him in later life is deeply refreshing.

And if that didn’t make him loveable enough, Prince Charming is also a dragon slayer, who put his life at risk to save an entire kingdom, and gave up his happiness to save his own mother’s life, when he agreed to marry a woman he did not love.  But what really makes Prince Charming an excellent TV Boyfriend is the way he behaves around Snow White.  With a disarming smile, sharp wit, and adorable banter, both Prince Charming and his Storybrooke counterpart James managed to bust through this slightly jaded woman’s firm walls and found his way deep into her heart.

Prince Charming literally lights up whenever he sees or speaks to Snow White.  And yet, there relationship isn’t cliched or cheesy.  They are both very strong willed, head strong, and slightly snarky individuals, who have fought hard for everything they have, and are inherently skeptical of those for whom things come easy.  There’s is the kind of love for which everybody secretly wishes . . . the kind of love that makes you believe in fairytales . . .

And who doesn’t want a little fairytale in their lives, every now and then?

Moments when he won my heart:

*When he rescued his knights, and singlehandedly slayed a dragon, without any battle training whatsoever . . .

*During his heartfelt goodbye to his mother . . .

*When he “captured” Snow White . . .

*When he flirted with Snow White . . .

*When he helped Snow White battle the trolls . . .

*When (in Storybrooke), he came to Snow White / Mary Margaret’s school to declare his love for her . .  .

*When he lost his own life (in fairytale land) to save his wife, and baby Emma . . .

*Everytime he said “I’ll always find you,” to Snow White . . .

For your consideration:

10. Matty McKibben – Awkward

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Who plays him: Beau Mirchoff

Why we are “dating”:

Sometimes in our lives, we are looking to find our Prince Charming, and have our fairytale.  Other times, we’d much rather date someone normal, with flaws, insecurities, and imperfections . . . someone like us.  What’s so great about Matty McKibben is that he’s so incredibly real.   Way too often television shows make teenagers act and look like people in their late twenties.  But Matty McKibben is a genuine high school guy . . . a guy who most likely reminds you of someone you went to high school with, crushed on, and maybe even were lucky enough to date . . .

In the pilot episode of Awkward, Matty is depicted as your typical popular high school jock.  He’s good looking.  He’s athletic.  He goes to the best parties, and dates the prettiest girls.  He has sex with Jenna Hamilton that first time, more on impulse than, as a result of any sort of strong feeling he has for her.  And he keeps their relationship a secret, because it’s easier that way, considering the fact that they come from different social circles.

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And in a typical high school drama, that would pretty much be the end of the story.  The “Jenna” character would inevitably find out that the “Matty” character is shallow, and using her for sex, so she would leave him for a “nicer” guy.  But real life isn’t that simple, and, fortunately, neither is this show.  As the series progresses, we get to know more about Matty McKibben.  What we learn is that he’s actually pretty good guy . . . someone who’s loyal to his friends, to the point of being willing to give up love for their sake . . . someone who truly cares about Jenna, and tries to do right by her, in the best way that he knows how.

Throughout the series, we watch Matty learn from his relationship with Jenna, and grow from a seemingly dimwitted and shallow jock, to a surprisingly smart and thoughtful boyfriend.  And in the end, when Jenna chooses the “nice guy,” our heart can’t help but break a bit for Matty, who, as it turns out, is  actually pretty “nice,” himself . . . not to mention, smokin’ hot.

Moments when he won my heart:

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*When he drove Jenna home from the football game on her birthday, and helped her toss out her not-so-lucky socks . . .

*When he finally told Jenna he wanted to make their relationship official . . .

*When he took Jenna to his parents’ restaurant on their first official date . . .

*When he bonded with Jenna’s friends, and gave them guy advice . . .

*The mixture of jealousy and friendly sympathy he showed, when he learned about his best friend, Jake’s feelings for Jenna . . .

*When we found out about the sweet way Matty planned to “ask” Jenna to formal . . .

*The resigned look of heartbreak and devastation on Matty’s face at Winter Formal, following Jenna’s tacit rejection . . .

For your consideration:

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(Sorry, MTV is surprisingly stingy, about allowing scenes from Awkward to exist on YouTube.  So, this was the best I could do.  That said, you could watch the entire series on MTV.com!)

And there you have it . . . my Ten New TV Boyfriends of 2011.  So, who’s on YOUR list?

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

Coed Naked Damon Salvatore – A Look at the TV Vampire’s Best Undressed Moments

“Well, hello ladies.  I’m BAAAAAAACKKK!”

WARNING:  There are certain posts on this blog that are intelligent, erudite, and highly analytical evaluations of pop culture . . . . This ISN’T one  of those posts. 

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Christmas has come early for TVD fans, in the form of two tantalizing new trailers that are jam-packed with Ripper insanity, Delena tenderness, Coed Naked Forwood BED HUMPING, Salvatore Brother Wall Slam Madness, and a raging party at La Casa de Rich and Awesome .  . .

(Rafter Dancing not necessarily included . . .) 

Did I mention SHIRTLESSNESS?  Oh, yes, boys and girls.  This season’s new trailer delivered not one, but TWO “less than dressed” moments from our favorite TVD males.  And ONE of those moments, featured a teensy tiny bit of soap where UNDERWEAR was supposed to be  . . .  Any guesses as to who that lathered-up lad was?

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(Well, read the title of this post, DUH!)

So, in honor of our new pal, Mr. Sudsy Weiner, I’ve decided to take a look back at some of Damon Salvatore’s most mesmerizing less-than-dressed moments.  Because we all know how much Damon likes to please the ladies (and the men) with his unique . . . um . . . assets . . .

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So, grab that rubber duckie, and leave your clothing at the door, because it’s time to get NAKED with the sexiest 170-year old I know . . .

He Makes Bathtime Lots of Fun!

Rub, a, dub, dub, Fangbangers!  Damon Salvatore is not only the sexiest vampire in Mystic Falls, he may also be the CLEANEST.  After a long hard day of ripping out hearts, dancing like a maniac, flirting, and doing “that eye thing he always does,” the Elder Salvatore brother would like nothing more than to rip off those pesky clothes, and barrel into that pristine bathroom of his, for some “one-on-one time” with the tub.

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“Go away SOAPDISH!  Bathtub and I need our privacy!”

When most of us think of Bathtub Damon, THIS is the image that comes to mind . . .

Having made his wet and wild debut, in the opening moments of Season 2’s “Daddy Issues,” before the title card for the show even appeared, this version of Bathtub Damon offered EVERYTHING a connoisseur of shirtlessness could possibly want:  pectoral closeups, abdominal appreciation, the long lingering upward crawl of a camera lens, and the brood and smoulder of a pensive, wet-haired Salvatore brother.

Admittedly, Damon had a whole lot of angst to wash off at the time (which may explain why he thankfully bathed AGAIN at the end of the episode).  After all, in the past twenty four hours, Damon had been forced to (1) euthanize a were-rabies addled Rose; (2) come to grips with his unquenchable desire to regain his humanity; and (3) eat a lonely young female traveler on the road, so as to avoid dealing with his FEELINGS.

Not only is the above scene undeniably sexy, it also silently and beautifully conveys the pain, guilt, longing and uncertainty Damon is experiencing at this point in the series.

But what’s a shower scene without a companion Wrapped in Towel Moment to swaddle your recent naked memories in the warmth and cuddliness of a fluffy white towel (easily removeable, of course)?

Oh Damon, you big ole fangy TEASE. . . with your unwrapped towel, which you woefully knotted, just moments before you sauntered across my television screen on those long lean muscular legs of yours.  I was so busy staring at your . . . ahem . . . better half that I barely noticed Future Sex Toy Andie on the TV within a TV, reporting on all those people Were Rabies Rose ate, last week.

“Who the f*&k is Rose?”

Fortunately (or, unfortunately, depending on your thoughts about Sex Toy Andie) both Bathtub Damon and his four-episode “girlfriend” graced the show with their respective presences, less than an hour later . . .

“This tub is so very small . . . and I am so very . . . large, hence, the pouting.” 

This bathtub scene served as a nice parallel to the one at the beginning of the episode, in that, here, in the comfort of his bathtub, Damon was finally able to convey in words all the pain we saw him silently endure, while in the shower.  Damon’s confession — which he felt comfortable giving to Andie, only because she was under compulsion at the time — was an extremely cathartic moment for our antihero.

Of course, it was fitting that he did this in a bathtub, as he was not only cleansing his body, but his soul as well.  Did I mention that it ended with one of the most captivating, transparently sexual, BITES in TVD history?

Of course, Delena fans, like myself, most remember this scene as being the one in which Damon admitted just how much he loved Elena, and that his biggest fear, was that he would never be good enough to deserve her love, in return.  This is a theme that echoes throughout the second half of Season 2.  And, as we well know, it comes full circle during Season Finale, when Elena finally admits to Damon that he IS good enough to deserve her, and that she likes him just the way he is . . .

(click on the internal link to view)

And hey, for those of you who prefer your Naked Damon silent, but deadly . . .

 . . . you can catch ALL THREE shirtless scenes from “Daddy Issues,” without all the pesky wordplay, RIGHT HERE:

Damon’s desire to use water to symbolically purge his inner demons is nothing new.  In fact, he’s been doing it since 1864 . . .

Back in the episode “Blood Brothers,” Damon had just learned that Vampire Katherine, the then-love of his life, may have been burned to death in church fire.  OH, and he also has three days to decide whether to feed on human blood, or DIE.  No pressure!  So, what does our Damon decide to do in the midst of all this stress?  Bathe in the river, of course!

(Clicky!  Clicky!)

 Open-Shirted Shenanigans!

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I love me some COMPLETELY NAKED Damon.  But sometimes, the delectable allure of just the slightest sliver of bare chest can be precisely what the Love Doctor ordered.  Perhaps, the most notable of Open-Shirted Salvatore Moments occurs during Season 1’s “The Lost Girls,” in which Damon engages soon-to-be vampire Vicki in what has become the SECOND most iconic dance in TVD history.  (The most iconic, being the “Miss Mystic Falls” dance, obviously.)

Given all the angst and heartache we’ve watched him endure throughout Season 2, it’s easy to forget that Damon Salvatore is a FUN GUY!  And when he’s not busy pining for love, or trying to save Elena from the Villain of the Week, he’d like nothing more than to pop open a few beers (or his trademark bottle of bourbon) pop up his shirt collar, and dance from the rafters to the groovy sounds of a Depeche Mode cover band .  . .

(Come on!  Press the link!  You know you want to!)

 Yet, even during Damon’s most carefree and liquored-up moments, there is an inner core of sadness that lurks beneath the surface.

So, no matter how much he tries to use drinking and good humor to dull The Pain, it still peeks out, exposing its raw and vulnerable “skin” through the thin fabric of his unbuttoned cotton shirt . . . And we all know, there’s really only one person who could properly button that “pain” back up: Elena.

(You can’t NOT click the link!  It’s, as Damon says, “irresistabbbllle.”)

But, lest we get too maudlin, we should remember, that drinking and partying, isn’t ALWAYS about dulling the pain.  Sometimes, its just a way to reconnect with old friends through a nice neighborly game of strip poker.

It also could be a sexy way to kill the messenger.

You know . . . because it “sends a message.”

(Hit THAT!)

Sleepy Time for Sexy Vamp . . .

You know, in SOME vampire shows, bloodsuckers don’t sleep . . . or they DO sleep, but they do it in coffins, ick!

Rough sleeper? 

Fortunately, in The Vampire Diaries, vampires sleep just as much (or as little) as us humans do.  And Damon Salvatore is no exception.  You know what else is great about TVD vampires?  They tend to sleep without their shirts on!

Of course, as we know, beds aren’t always for sleeping.  Sometimes, they are for pondering your next move, because you just learned that the woman you love has ONCE AGAIN put her life in the hands of the dubiously trustworthy Vampire Elijah (and his fabulous hair), as we see in the above shot, taken from Season 2’s “Klaus.”

But don’t worry.  Damon does WAY more than pout and sleep in his bed.  He also uses it for HOT SEX. . .

Yes, boys and girls.  Contrary to popular belief, people (and vampires) did, in fact, engage in hot raunchy LOVIN’, back in 1864.  They just had a lot more clothing to remove, before they could get to the good stuff. . .

(Click the link!  Get some)

After a long exhausting night of hot loving . . .

Nothing beats some good old-fashioned breakfast in bed . . .

Just don’t play with your food, OK?

(Munch!  Munch!)

Of course, the problem with eating breakfast in bed, is that it tends to muss up your sheets with crumbs (or blood, as the case may be).  When that happens, you may find yourself having to improvise.  One way to do that is by moving your bedtime activities to THE FLOOR, as Katherine and Damon do in Season 2’s “The Return”

Wow!  Damon’s a DAMN GOOD LOVER, isn’t he?

No wonder Elena is having sexy dreams about him!

Shirtless RAAAAAGGGGEEEEE!

Earlier, we discussed how Damon sometimes uses his shirtlessness to express his sadness and vulnerability.  But sometimes, the Elder Salvatore has been known to rip off his shirt to channel his ANGER!  Take for example these two parallel scenes, in which Damon takes out his anger, over being outsmarted by a fellow vampire, on his SHIRT, his PHONE, and, of course, a Very Special Soapdish . . .

Speaking of Soap . . .

It always comes back to cleanliness with Damon, doesn’t it?  And this post is no exception.  I leave you with the much beloved Shirtless and Soapy Damon clip from The Vampire Diaries’ BRAND NEW upcoming season, set to premiere September 15th.

(Lather up!)

Sweet dreams! 

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

Before They Were Vampires – My Slightly Smutty Tribute to Alexander Skarsgard

Hungry?

If you’ve ever stopped by this blog before, you know that I ADORE HBO’s scary and sexy summer series, True Blood, in general, and Alexander Skarsgard’s deliciously devilish Viking Vampire, Eric Northman, specifically.  Honestly, can you blame me?  How can you NOT love a man who looks like THIS . . .

And SOMETIMES this . . .

And OTHER TIMES this?

So, yes, he’s pretty to look at.  (DUH!)  But there’s more to it than that . . . much more.  Skarsgard’s Northman is smart and sardonic.  He also has a mean streak a mile long. 

It’s true.  Vampire Eric can be brutal, but he can also be charming and surprisingly sweet.  Eric Northman has the unique ability to make you go from laughter, to tears, and back to laughter again, with nothing more than a sharp one-liner, a withering look, and a (seemingly) sincere apology. 

Eric is strong and ambitious.  He has a take charge attitude about every aspect of his life (and undeath).  This attitude encompasses his work, as much as his play.  This Vampire is Pure Epicure.  He LOVES being undead.  And undeath loves him . . .

Did I mention he can make your DREAMS COME TRUE?

But, as much as it seems as though Alexander Skarsgard was BORN to play Eric Northman, there WAS life B.V., “BEFORE vampire”

It’s ALIVE!  Hallelujah!

As it turns out, Skarsgard’s been doing this whole “acting thing” for quite some time.  According to Wikipedia, his acting career began in 1984, when he was just 7-years old.  Back then, he starred in the Swedish film, Ake and His World, based on a children’s book by Bertil Malberg.  Here’s what he looked like back then . . .

How cute was HE?

But Alexander Skarsgard didn’t enter MY life until about 17 years later, in 2001.  That was when he appeared in THIS film . . .

Even those of you who SAW this movie, might not have caught this.  (I certainly didn’t, when I first saw it.)  But, in Zoolander, Skarsgard played Meekus, Derek’s model friend, who died tragically in a freak gasoline accident.

R.I.P. Meekus

OK.  Maybe some of you already knew that.  But did you know that Skarsgard also makes for a really pretty girl?

I always knew Alexander Skarsgard was better looking than I was.  But does he also have to be a better looking WOMAN?  NO FAIR!

In 2006, just five years after his small part in Zoolander, Skarsgard starred in the kidnapping and crime caper, Kill Your Darlings, as a disturbingly hot, and decidedly suicidal, transvestite, named Geert. 

 Here’s a clip from the film that I think you’ll really like . . . You’ll figure out why in just a few seconds . . .

So, by this time, Alexander Skarsgard was quite the A-list star in Sweden.  However, he hadn’t quite “made it” in the U.S. just yet.  (Tragic Zoolander death, notwithstanding).  That all changed in 2008, when he landed the role of Sergeant Brad “Iceman” Colbert in the HBO miniseries, Generation Kill.  The series, which was based on a book of the same name by Evan Wright, detailed the lives of a real-life Marine Corps battalion during the invasion of Iraq in 2003. 

Just like a certain vampire he would begin to play that same year, Iceman was a force with which to be reckoned — a calm, cool, and calculated soldier.  Though many lives were undoubtedly lost at the hands of both of these “killers,” both Eric and Iceman possessed, beneath the surface, a refreshing amount of humanity and heart. 

Now I know that a good film and television viewer can separate any character from the actor playing him.  And yet, I couldn’t keep myself from being reminded of Eric Northman when watching THIS scene . . .

No one does the deadpan delivery of a “biting” one-liner like Skarsgard!

Finally, this year, while on hiatus from filming True Blood, Skarsgard took the opportunity to flex his comedic chops in Beyond the Pole, a British mockumentary about a group of friends who head to the North Pole on a mission to save the world from the scourge of GLOBAL WARMING.

 

Here, Skarsgard plays Terje, a gay Norwegian athlete, with a tendency to get a little frisky (and dance-y) after a few drinks (and you all KNOW how I LOVE my stars getting dance-y).  Check THIS out . . .

I’m willing to bet that Sookie is wishing she was the guy in that video, RIGHT NOW .  . .

Aren’t you?

So, there you have it.  A brief, and slightly smutty, look into the wild and wonderful film and television career of Alexander Skarsgard.  But, before you go, I DO have one more Alexander Skarsgard image you might enjoy.  This one comes from a film he made in 2000, called Hundtricket or The Dog Trick.

WARNING:  You might  . . . (clears throat) . . . need a COLD shower, after viewing this . . .

 Sweet Dreams!

 [www.juliekushner.com]

Shirtlessness is Godliness – My Take on the Top Ten TV Bods

[WARNING:  On most days, I try to imbue this blog with (moderately) intelligent insights and (sort of) insightful commentary about our pop culture world . . . This is NOT ONE OF THOSE DAYS!  Today is all about objectifying  male television stars, and objectifying them HARD!  So if you happen to be looking for intelligent insights or insightful commentary, you might want to head on over to CNN.com or MSNBC.com — because you won’t find any HERE!]

Are they gone yet?  Good!   Now that we’ve ditched the “mature and responsible adults,” and it’s just us girls, let’s TALK.  Let’s talk about abs of steel, arms of bronze, and skin of silk!  Let’s talk about shoulder blades, belly buttons, backs, butts, and happy trails —  all of it, just barely concealed by tight jeans, strategically placed foliage, soap bubbles, or flimsy peak-a-boo towels!  Ladies, here’s your chance to objectify men, the way they’ve objectified YOU for centuries! 

So, without further adieu, let’s put on our Pink Hard Hats, and DO THIS THING!

When it comes to watching TV, us ladies are LUCKY!  Because, while the FCC simply will NOT allow the exhibition of topless women on prime time television, it has NO TROUBLE AT ALL showing shirtless men!  Out of the countless bodies of work on the “boob-less tube” today, here are just ten of my favorites (in no particular order).

1) Lost’s Shirtless Sawyer (a.k.a Josh Holloway)

When Oceanic Flight 815 crashed on an uncharted island back in 2004, the male survivors immediately instituted a “clothing optional” policy. And BOY are we glad they did!  Snarky, nickname-giving, weapon collecting, bookworm, James Ford, a.k.a Sawyer, is definitely one of those guys who, most of the time, can’t be bothered with such daily inconveniences as putting on a shirt.  So whether he is building a raft to get off the island (which I guess is what he is pictured doing above ), engaging in hot bear cage sex with a fellow castaway .  . .

. . . or randomly taking a shower, while still wearing his jeans . . .

 . . . chances are Sawyer’s going to let you see his belly button, while he’s doing it.  And if that’s not a charitable contribution to society, I don’t know what IS!

2) True Blood’s Shirtless Jason Stackhouse (a.k.a. Ryan Kwanten)

While there aren’t very many characters on television who are shirtless MORE than Sawyer on Lost.  True Blood’s Jason Stackhouse definitely has the distinction of being one of the few.  This self-proclaimed male slut may not be the sharpest “tool” in the shed, but I certainly wouldn’t kick him out of my bed.  In fact, I’d probably handcuff him to it, so that he couldn’t leave!

Fans of the show will undoubtedly remember Jason Stackhouse’s “fine form,” as it was displayed during the outdoor, Shirts v. Skins, Football Game he played at “Cult Camp” for the Fellowship of the Sun, during Season 2.

And, of course, who could forget the “Sexy Dance” Jason performed for Lafayette back in Season 1, when he was hooked on Vampire Blood?

Shirtless AND pantless!  It doesn’t get much better than this, ladies!

3) The Vampire Diaries’ Shirtless Stefan Salvatore (a.k.a. Paul Wesley)

Speaking of television characters hooked on Human Vampire Blood, here’s another one who isn’t a big fan of “the shirts.”  This broody vampire, with arms like tree trunks, and pects like a Greek God, generously regales us with his Body of Goodness each week on The Vampire Diaries.  Whether he’s doing chin ups to fend off blood cravings, dangling from a ceiling, while being tortured by a crazed team of rebel vamps, or gallantly retrieving a post-coital glass of water for his human girlfriend . . .

 . . . Stefan Salvatore tends to do it sans-shirt.  And thank Heaven for that!

4) Glee’s Shirtless Noah “Puck” Puckerman (a.k.a. Mark Salling)

Why didn’t any of my classmates look like this when I was in high school?  (Probably because they weren’t played by 27-year old actors with a team of personal trainers at their fingertips . . .)  This MILF seducing . . .

 . . . Mohawk wearing, Sweet Caroline singing, triple-sport playing bad boy, has a body to DIE FOR!  And he’s not afraid to show it off.  I can watch this ONE walk around, wearing nothing but a towel for HOURS!  You know what?  I think I will!

5) True Blood’s Shirtless Eric Northman (a.k.a. Alexander Skarsgard)

No wonder True Blood‘s Eric Northman has an entire CALENDAR MONTH dedicated to him!  He’s an extremely well-preserved, centuries old, insanely tall Viking Vampire with a voice like silk, and a penchant for all things bloody.  Did I mention he enjoys taking baths?

Can you really blame Sookie Stackhouse for having sexual dreams about this vamp, even though she is currently involved in another relationship?

6) Supernatural’s Shirtless Sam Winchester (a.k.a. Jared Padalecki)

OK.  I’ll admit that I don’t actually watch this CW show, about two hot demon hunting brothers, one of whom is sometimes possessed.  It just seems too scary for me. (This, coming from a girl who reads and writes books about vampires and hot warlocks, and who watches countless hours of Vampire Television . . . Crazy, I know!)  However, when I was “doing research” for this blog entry, I found this . . .

AND THIS (also featuring a shirtless Jensen Ackles as Dean Winchester) . . .

 . . . and figured I might just have to START watching, after all!

7) Grey’s Anatomy’s Shirtless Alex Karev (a.k.a. Justin Chambers)

This Hot (sometimes D-baggy) Doc, with a tortured past, and a sweet side to boot, looks just as good with his scrubs ON as OFF (We prefer them OFF, of course).    For a busy medical professional, Alex Karev gets LAID A LOT!  And for that, we are thankful, because it gives us an opportunity to see him like this . . .

Can you believe that the actor who plays this strapping male specimen is father to FIVE KIDS?

8 ) The Vampire Diaries’ Shirtless Damon Salvatore (a.k.a. Ian Somerhalder)

Clearly, the fictional vampiric Salvatore brothers both possess the gene for AMAZING abs!  Damon, the older, wiser, and snarkier Salvatore, KNOWS he’s hot.  And while occasionally completely shirtless, Damon, unlike his brother, tends to prefer the “open shirt” look . . .

 . . . which leaves a bit more to the imagination, but can be just as sexy.  Did I mention our boy can DANCE?

(Yeah, they won’t let me embed this video.  Poopyheads!  But click the link and WATCH IT!  I promise you WILL NOT be disappointed . . .)

9) Smallville’s Shirtless Clark Kent / Superman  (a.k.a. Tom Welling)

Undoubtedly, if you are being cast in a teen drama about the origins of the Man of Steel, having a hot bod is a prerequisite.  Tom Welling delivers FOR SURE!  Kansas farm boy, Clark Kent, may spend a significant amount of time fighting crime and leaping tall buildings in a single bound, but he’s also hauled a lot of bales of hay in his day.  And that’s really paid off for him in the chest department, if you know what I mean . . .

10) Lost’s Shirtless Desmond Hume  (a.k.a Henry Ian Cusick)

Since we started with a Lostie, I figured another Lostie would be a good place to end.  This romantic, time,traveling Scotsman, who calls everyone “Brotha,” spent years underground, doing nothing put punching numbers into an aging computer and working out.  And it shows!  Aside from being super cut, Our Man Desmond is not afraid to get a little dirty.  And anyone whose watched Lost knows that a dirty naked body is usually a HOT naked body.

Perhaps the reason Desmond is always looking so fit, is that, based on the pictures paparazzi have of him, the actor who plays Desmond does nothing but run ALL THE TIME!  (Check Google Images, if you don’t believe me!)

Well, there you have it ladies!  Ten hot TV men, all of them at least HALF nude!  Your welcome.  Now I’m off to take a cold shower!  Until next time . . .