Ryan Kwanten . . . the Superhero? Get your rubber-clad booty into my movie theater, NOW!

Griff the Invisible . . .  Coming soon to a theater near . . . WHO?

OK, so I’ll admit it.  Most of the television shows I watch are currently on hiatus.  And, as a television recapper, this most recent turn of events has me feeling SERIOUSLY DOWN . . .

So, in an effort to cheer myself up, I started looking up information on the upcoming season of True Blood .  . .

Meet Eric Northman, also known as “The Shirtless Blonde Man.”  You’ve really gotta hand it to the HBO Marketing Department.  They sure do know how to sell their product!

While I was searching, I stumbled upon this trailer for a film called Griff the Invisible, which is set to hit theaters in Australia this month . . .  

The film stars JASON STACKHOUSE as a SUPERHERO!!!!!!

Well . . . kinda . . .

Actually, Ryan Kwanten (a.k.a. Jason from True Blood) stars in the film, as the titular Griff, an Average Joe who dons a rubber suit at night, as a means of escaping the doldrums of his own mundane existence . . .

In other words, “Griff” is the guy Peter Parker probably would have ended up being, had he made it into adulthood, having never been bitten by a radioactive spider . . .

But don’t take my word for it.  Check out the trailer, and see for yourself . . .

When I saw this trailer, and found out that Griff the Invisible was NOT coming soon to a theater near ME, I was HOPPING MAD!

You mean to tell me that there’s a movie out there, in which Ryan Kwanten walks around in a skintight rubber suit, kicking ASS, and I DON’T GET TO SEE IT ON THE BIG SCREEN?  What is WRONG with this world?

So, I did a bit MORE research.  And I learned that a distributor had, in fact, recently acquired the rights to air Griff the Invisible in North America.

A solid decision, on this distributor’s part!  After all, with True Blood being as popular as it is in the States, Ryan Kwanten has become household name . . . not to mention, a household BODY .  . .

Between Kwanten’s . . . umm . . . appeal . . . to the masses, and the major box office success Superhero films have enjoyed in the U.S. over the past decade, I don’t see how this film could NOT make money in the States.  “So, why the wait?”  You are probably wondering.

My theory?  It’s all about the “package” . . .

“ING” . . . It’s all about the “packag-ING.”  (Get your minds out of the gutter!)

You see, Griff the Invisible isn’t packaged as your typical Superhero Movie.  I mean, YOU saw the trailer!  It’s “quirky,” and “offbeat.”  It’s also “sweet,” “cute,” and features “schmaltzy music” in the background.  Plus, there seems to be a whole lot of that “Schmoopy Romance Stuff” in it . . .

Not to mention, have you EVER seen a trailer for a Superhero movie, where there was not at least ONE SHOT of the hero kicking some villain’s ASS?  SERIOUSLY!

Now, I understand that the probable reason that Griff the Invisible wasn’t packaged like your typical Superhero Movie is that it isn’t your typical Superhero Movie.  Just from the smidgeon of research I’ve done on the film, Griff seems a bit more high-concept than your Iron Mans, and your Spider Mans, and your X Men.  It’s probably a bit moodier of a film than those . . . and, forgive the term, a bit more “emo.”  But what Americans don’t know won’t hurt them, right? 

Just nod and smile, Jason . . . Nod an smile.

For this reason, I offer up to the U.S. distributors of Griff the Invisible an alternate trailer for this film.  The “trailer” I selected, actually comes from some behind-the-scenes footage of Ryan Kwanten training for the more physical aspects of the film.  And yet,  it has everything a U.S. audience could possibly want in a Superhero Movie Trailer.  (Well, except for the fact that Ryan’s unfortunately, wearing a SHIRT in it, of coruse). 

Check it out . . .

So, now I turn the discussion over to YOU.  I’m very curious as to whether anybody over in Oz has seen this film yet?  (CHERIE, my Fabulous Blogger Pal from Down Under, I’m looking at YOU!)  If so, what did you think?  Also, assuming you’ve already seen it, what are your thoughts as to how this movie would be received by an American audience? 

Inquiring Jason Stackhouse fans want to know!

[www.juliekushner.com]

When Bad Dancing Happens to Good TV Stars . . .

When you’ve resorted to “ass-slapping,” it’s never a good sign . . .

Ahhhh, dancing.  We all do it on occasion.  But only a few of us can actually do it well.  But, even if you aren’t exactly the “Life of the Dance Party,” perhaps, you can sleep better tonight, knowing that you are not ALONE.  In fact, there are many, otherwise, very cool, talented, and debonair television stars out there, who undoubtedly dance just as bad as you do! 

Anyone who watched television during the 90’s, undoubtedly remembers The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

If you ever watched The Fresh Prince, you probably know that, regardless of what an AWFUL dresser he was (see picture above), Will Smith, who played the titular character on the show, was a VERY GOOD DANCER!  His cousin, Carlton (played by Alfonso Ribeiro), however?  Not so much . . .

Around the same time Carlton was “getting jiggy,” on The Fresh Prince, another, very different, comedy sitcom was also gaining popularity . . .

Seinfeld had always been a show known for its crazy characters, and ridiculous occurrences.   Of all the characters on that show, Elaine (played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus) was probably the most “normal.”  That is . . . until she stepped out on the dance floor . . .

But that all happened during the 90’s.  And we can’t really blame television stars for dancing badly during the 90’s, right?  After all, in the 90’s, our idea of “good dancing” was this . . .

So, in order to make YOU feel better about YOUR bad dancing, we need to show you some television stars who dance badly, in this decade!

Josh Holloway, a.k.a. Sawyer from Lost

*Sigh*  How I miss Sawyer, let me count the ways.  Not only did he have the best body EVER, he was also the quintessential “Bad Boy,” and a closet romantic, who was pretty gosh darn hilarious, to boot.  Honestly, who wouldn’t want to get a slightly insulting / highly stereotypical nickname from Sawyer, after joining him a rousing round of Bear Cage Sex?

And yet, Sawyer, as much as I adore you, your dancing skills leave a bit to be desired.  Allow me to draw your attention to Bad Dancing Example 1:

And Example 2:

Then again, can you really blame a guy who’ s been stuck on a deserted island with Psychotic Others and Killer Polar Bears for six years for never learning how to “Dougie?”

Ryan Kwanten, a.k.a. Jason Stackhouse from True Blood

Jason Stackhouse’s half-naked body is a sight to behold, FOR SURE!  And yet, just because you look good half-naked, doesn’t mean you dance well half-naked too.  Then again, perhaps, Jason instinctively understood this.  Why else would he be wearing that Creepy Ex-President Mask?

Speaking of True Blood stars . . .

Alexander Skarsgard, a.k.a. Vampire Eric Northman on True Blood

Eric Northman.  Now THAT GUY is the epitome of COOL!  Not only is his body flawless . . .

. . . but he always seems to know exactly what to say to make the girls’  hearts melt . . .

That vamp is like a Human Panty Dropper!

That being said, I’m not quite sure what exactly he was trying to do here:

Speaking of Super Cool and Sexy Vampires doing ambiguously gay things . . .

Ian Somerhalder, a.k.a. Vampire Damon Salvatore on The Vampire Diaries

If you’ve read this blog before, you already know that I am OBSESSED with Ian Somerhalder, in general, and his character Damon Salvatore, on The Vampire Diaries, specifically.  Not only is Damon Salvatore, a Brooding Bad Boy . . .

 . . . the Life of the Party . . .

 . . . and a Hopeless Romantic . . .

 . . . he’s also a FABULOUS DANCER.

So, why, you ask, is HE on this list?  Remember what I said earlier about “Half-Naked Dancing,” not necessarily being “Good Dancing?”  Well . . .

 . . . I rest my case.

In other Bad Dancing Vampire news . . .

David Boreanaz, a.k.a. Angel on Buffy the Vampire Slayer (and Angel), and Booth on Bones

David Boreanaz . . . he’s a pretty cool guy, right?  I mean, this is someone who KNOWS how to wear a suit!  And yet, he also looks fairly amazing wearing NOTHING AT ALL . . .

Perhaps, we know him best now as the smart, loveable, and adorably snarky Booth on Bones.  But, like Ian and Alexander after him, David Boreanaz is no stranger to donning THE FANGS.  On both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its spinoff, Angel, David played the sometimes sweet, sometimes evil “Angel”  (although, when he was evil they usually called him “Angelus,” weird right?). 

Whether Angel was trying to kiss Buffy, or KILL HER, he always looked like a true gentleman doing it . . . except, of course, when he was dancing . . .

GIF provided courtesy of my AWESOME blogging pal Cherie, over at myspideysenseistingling.

Ummm . . . Booth?  Perhaps, you better stick to your Day Job of playing with skeletons.  Because I’m guessing Dancing with the Stars is not in your future.

Hey, you know who used to be on Angel with David Boreanaz?  Vincent Kartheiser!

What a coincidence!  Because he made this list too!

Vincent Kartheiser, a.k.a. Pete Campbell on Mad Men

A lot of people don’t like Pete Campbell on Mad Men.  They find him slimy, manipulative, whiny and insecure.   Well,  they are RIGHT!  He’s all of those things! 

 (Although, in his defense, he’s gotten A LOT kinder and gentler, this past season.) 

I, for one, have always LOVED Pete.  And a lot of that has to do with Vincent Kartheiser‘s  amazing acting ability.  I just find him so intriguing, and fascinating to watch.  Whenever, he’s on screen, I just can’t keep my EYES OFF OF HIM!  Unless, of course, he’s dancing.  Then, I have to look away . . .

Speaking of Mad Men stars who can’t dance . . .

Jon Hamm, a.k.a. Don Draper of Mad Men

Don Draper, I am very disappointed in you!  You just got engaged to Megan! 

What the heck are you doing, getting jiggy with Betty White?

I hope you don’t plan on dancing like that at the wedding . . .

Elsewhere in Manhattan . . .

Chace Crawford, a.k.a. Nate Archibald on Gossip Girl

Spotted:  A gorgeous rich white boy, teaching us that, just because you were born with a “silver spoon in your mouth,” doesn’t mean your parents ever paid for you to have dance lessons . . .

And, of course, who could forget . . .

John Krasinski, a.k.a. Jim Halpert on The Office

If John Krasinski wasn’t already married to Emily Blunt and if I looked anywhere near as pretty as Emily Blunt, I’d totally marry him.  This guy is the WHOLE PACKAGE!  He’s smart, sweet, funny, caring, and, perhaps, most importantly, a bit of a goofball.  Did I mention that he makes this face ALL THE TIME?

ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!

In fact, John Krasinski is almost TOO perfect.  I mean, what would I bring to the relationship? 

Aha, now I know what I would bring!  Two right feet, for his dual left ones . . .

So, you see Fellow Bad Dancers, you are in VERY GOOD COMPANY!  There are plenty of successful, attractive, and powerful people, who don’t know there mambos from their cha-chas.  Heck, our very own President might be one of them!

But even if your the Worst Dancer in the World, that’s NO EXCUSE not to be dancing!  Dancing brings people together.  It makes them happy.  It gets their hearts racing, in a good way.  In short, dancing makes the world go round. 

So, don’t worry about looking silly.  Just strap on your party shoes, hit the dance floor, and EVERYBODY CUT FOOTLOSE!

(Grrr!  Pesky Copyright Requirements 😦 . . . Click on the embedded link, if you want to DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY!)

[www.juliekushner.com]

Ryan Kwanten: Where are you going? Where have you been (all my life)?

It’s times like these when I wish my laptop screen had a “3D” option . . .

You know him as Jason Stackhouse — Sookie’s dim-witted, but VERY loveable, huggable, kissable and MUCH MORE-able older brother on HBO’s hit series, True Blood.

Truth be told, you probably knew someone like Jason Stackhouse in high school (though, no where NEAR as hot as he is, I imagine).  At first glance, Jason seems like the quintessential “dumb jock” . . .

 . . . a high school football star (Starting Quarterback, to be exact), who has a real way with the ladies . . .

 ALL the ladies (and the MEN too) . . .

But here’s the thing about this “way” he has with the ladies (and men) . . . it gets him into trouble sometimes . . .

OK .  . . A LOT of times.  And the fact that he has a bad temper, certainly doesn’t help matters . . .

Jason is the kind of guy who shoots first, and asks questions later.

And the questions he DOES ask, often leave you as confused as he is  . . .

And that is VERY confused!

Wait . . . why should I tell you all this, when I can SHOW you?

Now, some of the aforementioned traits may seem like negative attributes, but there are  lots of great things about Jason too!  For one thing, he has a childlike sensibility.  Jason is a TRUE believer . . .

 

. . . in SANTA CLAUS . . .

 . . . and ANGELS !

Plus, he is always a loyal friend and confidant.

Did I mention, he is HIGHLY flexible?

And INSANELY good in bed?

But perhaps the BEST person to explain Jason Stackhouse to you, would be Jason himself . . .

OK.  So, now that we’ve met the character he plays, Jason Stackhouse, we are pretty clear on where Ryan Kwanten IS.  But WHERE HAS HE BEEN?

Well, for starters, Ryan Kwanten was born on November 28, 1976 in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia.  He started acting in the early 90’s, but didn’t really hit his stride, until the latter half of that decade.  Those Aussies among you might remember him as the adorable Vinnie Patterson on the soap opera Home and Away, a role he inhabited from 1997 until 2002.

But, even if you don’t remember Home and Away (because I don’t), you are sure to enjoy this VERY OLD trailer for the program, featuring Ryan Kwanten, himself . . .

(By the way, all you Pretty Little Liars fans out there should check out the “Dani” character at the 10 second mark.  Look familiar to you?  She SHOULD!

It’s Tammin Sursok a.k.a. BLIND JENNA!  Who knew?)

In 2003, Ryan starred in the film Liquid Bridge . . .

 . . . in which he played surfer dude, Nick Callum, who liked to wear his surfboard . . . and often NOTHING ELSE!

Check out the trailer for the film.  It’s practically SURF PORN!

But most of us U.S. fangirls didn’t meet Ryan until 2004, on the television drama Summerland, where he played another surf star, Jay Robertson. 

For your viewing pleasure, I have included a nice little clip of Ryan as “Shirtless Jay” here.  (Feel free to fast forward through all the lame Jesse McCartney stuff in the beginning and middle, because that’s what I did.)

In 2006, Ryan landed a role in the feature film, Flicka.  You know, the one based on the book . . . about the horse . . .

I didn’t see this one either.   But I found a great gag reel fom the film on YouTube.  The best part of the reel, by far, is the the end, which features Ryan doing some ad-libbing.  In the scene, Ryan’s character, Howard McLaughlin, is asked if there is anyone out there more fortunate than he.  He has some creative answers.  Who knew Ryan was such a Faith Hill fan?

There you go!  So, now you not only know where Ryan Kwanten IS, you also know where he has BEEN.  But where is he GOING?

Well, in short, it looks like Ryan is GOING back to the big screen.  Based on these two upcoming trailers, our favorite shirtless funny man will be taking a turn for the angsty and dramatic.  This first trailer is for Home and Away, a film that was made back in 2007, but is STILL pending release (WTF producers?).  In it, Ryan stars alongside The O.C.’s Mischa Barton, as a disillusioned young man, who has seemingly sold his soul to the music industry.  However, during the course of the film, he gets it back, thanks to the impending loss of his father, and the love of a free-spirited woman.  Check it out . . .

Now, normally, when I show a movie trailer like this, I try to precede it with the poster for the film.  But this poster REALLY bugged me.  See if you can figure out why . . .

Would someone PLEASE explain to me what Mischa Barton’s ginormous head is doing dwarfing MY Ryan?  Didn’t I just say this film is about a “disillusioned young MAN?”  So, tell me, which of the people in this poster seem to fit that description?  HINT:  It’s NOT the girl with a noggin that is seemingly the size of EARTH! 

I think I just figured out why this film hasn’t found it’s way into theaters yet.  Two words:  POOR.  MARKETING.

Needless to say, the poster for the next trailer I am going to show you is WAY more MY speed . . .

Now, that’s more like it!

Was it just me, or did that trailer sort of remind you of the film No Country for Old Men?

Only with WAY better hair!

According to IMDB, Ryan also has a number of other film projects in the works.  Most notable among these are: (1) The Knights of Badassdom,  a horror film about LARPers who unwittingly release demons on to the world (Are they SURE this isn’t supposed to be a comedy?); and (2) Griff the Invisible, a romantic comedy in which Kwanten plays . . . a SUPERHERO . . .

 . . . who BETTER NOT actually be INVISIBLE.  Just sayin’ . . . (Talk about a waste of a beautiful specimen!)

So, there you have it.  We now know where, Ryan Kwanten IS, where he’s GOING, and where he’s BEEN.  

Now, as for where Jason Stackhouse is going . . .

Well, I guess we will all just have to wait and see, won’t we? 😉

[www.juliekushner.com]