Why the heck weren’t MY high school dances this exciting? – A Recap of Pretty Little Liar’s “There’s No Place Like Homecoming”

Breaking and entering, destruction of chemistry labs, freaky gang-type tattoos, allusions to incest, creepo fortune tellers, and, quite possibly, a MURDER, all in a single hour?  I’ve got three words for you: Best.  Dance.  Ever.

Last week, I griped about the disappearance of one of my favorite characters on Pretty Little Liars.  Namely, THIS GUY . . .

Yep  . . . unfortunately, that adorable, drunky Brit, Wren, was missing YET AGAIN this week!  However, unlike last week, where I spent a good portion of the lackluster episode pining for his return, this episode pretty much rocked, IN SPITE of his absence.  Shocking, yet true . . .

(Which is not to say that I don’t want him back, ABC Family!  You BETTER bring him back!)

So, in the words of the inimitable Hanna, who, by the way, was my TOTAL hero and main source of comic relief, this week  . . .

(Who knew Queen Bee Former Fatties could be so funny . . . and likeable?) . . .

 “Let’s get this PARTY started!”

Confuscius say, “Who hijacked MY Fortune Cookie?”

In the darkest corners of human nature, there now lurks a NEW evil . . . and it is shaped like this . . .

When the episode opens, Spencer, Emily, and Hanna are in Aria’s bedroom staging an intervention.  We know that Aria is seriously depressed, because she is wearing a  . . . PONYTAIL!

She is also sporting . . . NON-NAME BRAND SWEAT PANTS . . . from LAST SEASON!

Clearly, this is an emergency of EPIC proportions.  To rescue their friend from the dark fathomless abyss of “dressing for comfort,” the girls arrive, armed with trashy gossip magazines and Chinese food.  What more could a girl possibly want?

Without too much effort on their part, the girls eventually manage to snap Aria out of her Mr. Fitz-shaped depression, and convince her to attend the upcoming Homecoming Dance.  With their “mission accomplished,” the girls quickly breakout the takeout and start to chow down.  Before even touching her food, Hanna heads for dessert (girl after my own heart). 

She eagerly rips open her fortune cookie, yanking out that familiarly tiny piece of paper that, to this day, is my FAVORITE part of eating Chinese food.  Unfortunately, Hanna’s cookie-sized “prediction for the future” isn’t anything positive like:  You will come upon great and unexpected riches.  Nor is it something funny like:  You will eat another fortune cookie.  Rather, it says THIS . . .

Lions and tigers and bitches, oh my!  There is no place like homecoming.  See you there, A!

A’s unexpected use of a Wizard of Oz reference in crafting this taunt, can only mean ONE thing.  SOMEONE in the writers’ room has clearly been reading my recaps, in which I generally enjoy comparing “Dead Ali” to the Wicked Witch of the West.

Then again . . . maybe not.

The rest of the girls quickly open their own fortune cookies.  Sure enough, each one bears the SAME cryptic message.  This development obviously begs the very important question of, “How did A get her message into cookies?”

Does she work at the Chinese Restaurant where the girls got their takeout food?  Did she simply order the Fortune Cookies premade online, and slip them into the girls’ takeout bag, at the last minute?  If the latter is true, how did A know that the girls would be ordering at the exact time they did?

I’m with you, Mr. Monkey!  I don’t get it, either.

Hanna Gets Sexercised

The next day, in what was, hands down, the episode’s funniest scene, Hanna attends an abstinence group meeting with her boyfriend, Sean.  During it, she is asked to participate in a “role-playing” exercise, in which she propositions a boy for sex, and he turns her down for Jesus.  The boy doing the rejecting in the skit is a new guy named Lucas.

 I liked Lucas instantly, if only because his nerdiness, and smart-mouthed defensive sarcasm, reminded me so much of the ever-awesome Seth Cohen from that show The O.C.  And you all know how I LOVE me some Seth Cohen!

Socially awkward and snarky, but loveable, high school nerds?  Meet your king!

“Come back to my bedroom,” monotones Hanna, looking bored as ever.

“I can’t do this,” replies Lucas.

“But you’re so hot,” deadpans Hanna.  (Her delivery of this line, in particular, WAS hysterical!  I only wish I had it on MP3, so that I can play it for myself, whenever I’m feeling down.)

“No, what I mean, is I can’t do this with YOU!” Lucas clarifies.

In a very sweet, and unusually honest moment for the show, Lucas explains how a guy of his social status could never even THINK of having the opportunity to have sex with a woman of Hanna’s caliber.  (Clearly, Lucas has never watched The O.C.)  “I have the physical strength of Screech . . .  keeping my virginity is pretty much a done deal for me,” he concluded.

I had to laugh when I heard the random “Screech” reference . . .

After all, the Lucas character is undoubtedly WAY too young to have watched Saved by the Bell, the sitcom that first featured the character (as are, I would imagine, a good percentage of Pretty Little Liars fans).  Heck, I was a little kid when the show first aired, and I am quite a ways away from high school.  Perhaps Lucas remembers Screech, or rather Dustin Diamond, the actor who played him, from Celebrity Fit Club.  

Or, maybe he found that awful sex tape starring the actor, online, while his parents were asleep in the next room.  Seeing THAT would be enought to make any kid want to stay abstinant FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES!  Then again, later on in the same episode, Lucas also made a Hans Solo reference . . .

. . . leading me to conclude that the character is actually a 40-year old, stuck in a 17-year old body. 

(BTW, the next time Hanna propositioned him for sex during role play, Lucas enthusiastically said, “Yes.”  Atta boy, Lucas!  Don’t let nasty sex tapes starring has-been 90’s stars get you down.)

Speaking of a character on this show who looks and acts too old to be in high school . . .

 . . . Hanna was so inspired by her sexercise, that she decided to play matchmaker for her dear friend Emily.  Having recently learned from A, via instant message, that Emily and middle-aged Maya occasionally enjoyed swapping spit with one another, Hanna more or less invites Maya to the dance on Emily’s behalf.  The problem, of course, is that Emily is already going with someone else .  . . Creepy Toby.

I love high school dances.  They always remind me of that old movie, Carrie.

More on Creepy Toby in a bit . . .

Spencer should really stick to what she does best (Hint:  It’s not dating.)

Having unceremoniously tossed aside, and completely forgotten, about the adorable Wren, as if the hottie was yesterday’s dirty underwear, Spencer is totally ready to head off to the Big Dance with Ball Boy Alex, when the episode begins.  The two share a surprisingly sexy scene together pre-dance, when Alex visits Spencer at school, so that the two could color coordinate their outfits.  (Color coordinate, huh?  OK.  Alex is clearly gay.)

When Alex offers to pay for the dance tickets, Spencer awkwardly explains that she has it taken care of.  “It’s just that you . . . work so hard for your money . . . I’d hate to see you waste it on something stupid like this.”

To Alex’s credit, rather than be offended by the obvious implications of that statement, he simply pulls Spencer into a steamy embrace.  “But I WANT to,” he insists.

He then deftly sticks a wad of cash in the pocket of Spencer’s jeans, like she’s a Vegas showgirl, who just gave him a lap dance.  (Way to stay classy, Ball Boy!)

That night, at the dance, Spencer is surprised (and by “surprised” I mean completely miserable) to see that her sister Melissa also in attendance.

Glory Days . . . They’ll pass you by, Glory Days .  . .

Apparently, it is customary for former Homecoming Queens to pass off the  crown to the next Queen Bee.  And this year, they conveniently chose the Homecoming Queen from the class of 2000, Melissa.  This is probably because she was the only former queen lame enough to show up. 

Wait a second . . . Class of 2000?  Did I mishear that? 

Wouldn’t that make Melissa (and Wren) like 12 or 13 years older than Spencer?  And what about that AP History paper Spencer stole off her sister’s laptop?  I could have sworn the date on it was 2004. 

Even if we give Melissa the benefit of the doubt, and say she WAS part of the Class of 2000, that would mean she wrote the AP History paper that Spencer stole, over a decade ago.  And yet, Melissa still remembers it well enough to recognize it as hers on the website where information regarding Spencer’s award is posted.  I seriously doubt I could recognize a paper I wrote my last year in college, let alone high school, especially ten years after the fact. 

Melissa must have superhuman memory.  A nice skill to have.  Too bad she’s such a raging bitch. 

“I heart the Russian Revolution.  I always really identified with that Stalin guy.”

When Spencer becomes too occupied with the mystery of A’s identity to truly show her date, Alex, a good time, Melissa uses it as an opportunity to plant the seeds of destruction in Alex’s mind about the genuine nature of Spencer’s romantic attraction to him.  “She’s just using your poor ass to make our parents mad,” Melissa explains, more or less.

The statement festers in Alex’s brain all evening, and eventually causes Alex to ditch Spencer’s ass at the dance, without even saying goodbye.  When Spencer confronts Melissa about her misdeeds, the latter explains matter-of-factly.  “I didn’t have to do much.  You screwed that one up all on your own.”

“Who, moi?”

And while I HATE to EVER agree with Evil Melissa, I have to admit she DOES have a point here . . .

But BEFORE all that happened, Spencer and Alex went to visit a fortune teller, who had a penchant for tarot card reading.  (Yeah, we didn’t have THOSE at my dances either.)  At first, it seemed like a typical reading.  The fortune teller droned on and on about a bad relationship, and not trusting people and blah, blah, blah.  The whole thing would have sucked if A didn’t swoop in to make it exciting.  “Say Bye, Bye to Your BFF,” she somehow managed to scrawl on one of the cards. 

Woah!  How did A do that?  Clearly A is a superhero with magical powers!

 . . . or should I say  . . . supervillain.

Awkward much?

As soon as Aria was assigned to help out at the “bean bag toss” table at the dance (which, apparently, had some sort of “carney theme” or whatever), you just knew she would somehow wind up working it with Ezra Fitz and his new uber dweeby haircut.

“I wanted something to match my pasty white legs.”

The two bicker a bit about whether Aria knows “A” and whether she told “A” about her relationship with Fitzy.  Eventually Aria gets frustrated and storms off.  Later, a jealous, Fitzy spies Aria dancing with Hanna’s beau, Sean.  Fitz looks PISSED!

Glory Days . . . They’ll pass you by, Glory Days . . .

To Fitzy’s credit,  when Aria confronted him in the hallway later that night, I really thought, Fitzy was going to say something d-baggy about her “moving on” so quickly.  Instead, he breaks into an honestly heartwarming (even to a TOTAL cynic like me) speech about how he wishes that he could give Aria a good time in the same way boys Aria’s own age could: taking her to movies, introducing her to friends, attending dances together, banging her in the gym locker room, etc.  Fitzy then admits to Aria he got his haircut to impress her, and my heart melted a bit. 

But I STILL hate that awful haircut . . .

Creepy Toby ALWAYS gets the girl (even if she is, technically, a relative)

No one much approved of Emily’s taking Creepy Toby to the Homecoming Dance.  In fact, the couple’s mere entrance into the auditorium causes the entire room to literally turn blue with fear.  (Seriously, what was with the weird lightning in this episode?   Half the dance scenes were lit like a live actions Smurfs movie!)

Which begs a very important question: which Pretty Little Liar would get to be Smurfette?

One of the reasons for the Pretty Little Liars being so “blue” about Emily dating Toby, was that they kind of /sort of thought he killed Ali / was “A.”  You see, apparently, Dweeby Toby found time out of his busy “being a psycho” schedule to get a really gnarly tattoo on his stomach (I thought you had to be 18 to do that.) 

The tattoo said “901 free at last.”  Apparently, the number is not his zip code, but rather the day that  .  . . wait for it . . . Ali disappeared.

To further complicate matters,  Hanna breaks into Jenna’s shrinks office.  (Oh yeah, she totally did that — because shop lifting, car theft/ destruction, and breaking and entering weren’t enough to quench future gangleader Hanna’s taste for crime.  She missed being crowned Homecoming Queen to do it too.)

I may look sweet and innocent, but I’m a totally bad ass MO FO!

Once there, she learns that Toby’s been sexing his stepsister, Blind Jenna . . .

. . . and was in town when Ali disappeared!

Back at the dance, Toby invites Emily to the chemistry lab “to talk.”  Things start out innocently enough, with Emily admitting to Toby that she may very well be a Big Ole Lessie.  But then they take a turn for the frightening, when Toby utters that one line EVERY heretofore mild-mannered serial killer says in movies, before he turns on you and literally eats your face off . . .

“We all have secrets, Emily!”

As if that wasn’t enough of a warning, Emily receives a text message at that moment from Hanna saying, “You’re with A’s killer now.”

Emily freaks out and backs away from Creepy Toby.  He lunges toward her.  Thinking fast, Emily knocks him into a glass cabinet in the chem lab, causing glass to shatter all around him.  Clearly Toby has the same superpowers as A (or IS actually A), because he recovers from the massive fall into glass in mere seconds, and chases Emily down the hallway.  She trips over something and falls . . .

But the final scene just MADE the episode for me.  In it, we see a sign that says, “Rosewood Population 3,488” (or something . . . I can’t really remember the exact number.   I just know it was pretty darn small).  Then, suddenly, a black jacketed hand sprays white spray paint over the final “8,” and uses black spray paint to change it to a “7.” 

The question is . . . who died?  And how does the vandal KNOW about it?


Filed under Pretty Little Liars

16 responses to “Why the heck weren’t MY high school dances this exciting? – A Recap of Pretty Little Liar’s “There’s No Place Like Homecoming”

  1. Okay, why doesn’t anyone care about BLIND Jenna at the dance, just sitting there like she is actually seeing everything. She keeps turning her head, and looking around, but my question to her is Why are you at a dance? I mean your blind, you know that is about as good as being deaf and going to a concert. Btw, Fitzy’s haircut best ever!

    • Thanks so much for commenting, Person! (Great name, by the way). You are absolutely right about Blind Jenna! Either the show’s directors have never seen a blind person before — and, therefore, don’t know how they should instruct her to act — or something is seriously fishy about that girl.

      But my favorite Not-So-Blind Jenna moment remains the one in last week’s episode, where she USED A MIRROR to put on lipstick. WTF?

      Not sure I’m with you on Fitzy’s haircut though :). I would love to see his hair a bit longer and messier. I imagine they keep him clean cut looking, because they want to accentuate the age difference between him and Aria. But he’s in his mid-twenties, NOT his mid-forties! He can still have a fun modern hairdo.

      Then again, I ADORE Wren’s super short hair, so who knows? 🙂

      Thanks again for your insightful comments. I’m very eager to see where the show is going with all of this . . .

  2. My other question is, Why are the classroom door unlocked during the uh, Toby Emily scene, I remember in elementary dances I snuck upstairs and every door was either locked or with a teacher in it watching lifetime. I wonder if Jenna fell down a lot? That would be funny. Fitzy is hot anyway anyhow. Fitzy 😉

    • You know, I didn’t pick up on that the first time, but you are absolutely right! The classroom doors definitely would have been locked — particularly the LAB with all the EXPENSIVE EQUIPMENT and HARMFUL CHEMICALS. 🙂

      I understand that they needed to have Emily and Toby alone in the lab to maximize the intensity and freakiness of that scene. (And it was pretty freakishly intense – particularly for an ABC Family show.) But it probably would have been more realistic if Toby somehow had a key (or even stole one).

      The image you gave me of Not-So-Blind Jenna falling on her tush during the dance made me giggle. And then I felt really guilty for giggling. Now I’m actually hoping she ends up NOT being blind, so I won’t feel like such a lousy human being. 🙂

      So, you’re Team Fitzy, I presume? 🙂 I’m Team Wren. Normally, this would mean we couldn’t hang out. However, seeing as our two guys aren’t fighting for the same girl, we can totally still be friends. That’s a relief for me, for sure! Look at all these fun plot inaccuracies I would have missed, if you hadn’t stopped by! 🙂

      Thanks again for your awesome insights! You made this blog entry all the better for them.

  3. imaginarymen

    Are we sure Jenna is REALLY blind? Didn’t she go away after the accident? Mb she got Super Secret Surgery to restore her sight and is just f’ing w/ people?

    I know you love Wren, but to me – him and Fitzy look interchangeable so I don’t really notice the absence (don’t throw a mimosa in my face at brunch!) You’ve seen one twentysomething guy hitting on an age-inappropriate girl, you’ve seen ’em all!

    Should I be concerned that I am still not finding CreepyToby all that creepy? He’s odd looking for sure, but – it’s OK. I’ll show myself out ;-0

    I was wondering if the sign painting at the end was a “flashback” to that number meaning Ali.

    I keep forgetting to say that the opening credits for this show are BRILLIANT! Creepy and funny and the song is so catchy and eerie. Well played PLL.

    WHEN did this show get so damn entertaining???

    • “Super Secret Surgery” is definitely an interesting theory. It would certainly explain a few things about Jenna and her love of MIRRORS. I imagine “playing blind” would be a great excuse to wear sunglasses indoors on cloudy days, when you are really hungover and/or aren’t in the mood to put on your makeup in the morning. I should really try that sometime . . .

      Run for cover, Amy. Because I think you might have just offended BOTH Team Fitzy and Team Wren fans with that “interchangeable” comment. 🙂

      As far as the “cradle robbing tendencies” of both male characters, interestingly enough, both actors are only two years older than their female costars. The actors who play Wren and Spencer are the “older” couple at 26 and 24, respectively, while the actors who play Fitzy and Aria are 23 and 21. (I was really surprised about the latter, because I actually think Fitzy looks WAY older.)

      So, while I know we are supposed to suspend reality and be troubled by their relationships, I find it difficult to do so here. They seem in perfect dating range of eachother to me. 🙂

      Having perused the message boards, I do find that, like you, a lot of PLL fans are not nearly as creeped out by Creepy Toby as I am. So, I won’t make you leave for not sharing my “He’s a poor man’s Anthony Bates from Psycho” feelings about the character. However, if you tell me you are Team Creepy Toby, as opposed to Team Wren or Team Fitzy, we may have some issues . . . 🙂

      Interesting point about the sign. You might be right about that, especially considering EMILY is in the preview clips online for next week’s episode. So, unless Hanna is talking to a ghost in those scenes, we know SHE’S not dead, at least.

      I always wondered about those small towns with the “population” signs. Who’s tax dollars go to paying the salary of the person responsible for changing the numbers? I can just picture this guy’s phone ringing in the middle of the night, “Billy Jo Bob, Ma and Pa Kettlecorn just up and croaked. Guess you better be knocking two more off that Population sign.”

      PLL does have a FAB opening sequence. It’s visually appealing and sets off the show’s dark tone. I think my favorite part is when Lucy Hale’s Aria puts her fingers to her lips and says, “Shhh.” That never fails to make me giggle. I also like the promotional poster for the show, with all the girls wearing funeral attire and covered in dirt. It’s as if they just got back from exhuming Ali’s body to cover up their role in her demise. Very cool . . .

      Not bad for a summer replacement show, right? It’s amazing how popular PLL has actually become.

  4. Carol

    I love your recaps and they are the reason why I started watching Pretty Little Liars in the first place.

    Anyway, if I remember correctly, Spencer’s sister was filling in for the girl of the 2000 class. Because the girl was sick or something. Well, I think.

    • Thanks so much Carol! That is really so sweet of you — not to mention a compliment of the highest order. I’m very relieved that you are enjoying the show. Otherwise you’d probably be pretty pissed at me for making you watch it, right? 🙂

      Thanks for the intel on Spencer’s sister, Melissa. That really clears things up on my end. It just didn’t make sense to me that her and Wren would be THAT much older than Spencer. Plus, it would be really strange for a girl who graduated in 2000, to have a High School history paper from 2004 on her laptop. 🙂

      Looks like I have to STOP searching for Hot Wren when he’s absent / snarking on Blind Jenna and Creepy Toby, and START paying better attention to the actual show ;).

      Thanks again for commenting, and for your kind words. I really do appreciate it.

  5. Hello Jules, I just watched the new eppie and it was pretty interesting.

    I still miss Wren, but I have a feeling that they may have just tossed him aside like yesterday lunch, boo indeed. In any case the new guy is our like our replacement Wren and we might as well get use to him. I hate how they built up Wren and Spencer and then ban they’re done. Forgotten. So make way for Spenlex? I saw that on twitter 😦

    Anywho, the fortune cookie was a little dumb like does the dead girl know how to bake? What a perfect waste for those cookies.

    Hanna is just awesome now. I mean at first I didn’t like her but now she’s funny and caring. The Sexercised was genius, lmao. And then the nerd, can we see more of him? Please and thank you.

    But you know who’s annoying and barely shows up: Mona. Like what is he deal? Go back to being in the background.

    You wanna know something funny? I felt bad for creepy Toby. Jenna uses him, and then Emily. Like no wonder the boy’s messed up. First incest and now you’re trying to get with a lesbian, and then being accused of a murder he may or may have not committee.

    Blind-but-not-blind Jenna, yeah I’m convince this girl can see. No wonder she was made at Toby for talking to Emily.

    Melissa is a prick. Even before the Wren thing (aww Wren). Poor Spencer, man to be living under the same roof.

    I’m kind of over Aria’s problems. Whether it’s with Mr. Teacher (mention of the hair cut, priceless. Still looks god awful). Or her parents, I’m kind of like eh.

    But love the recap and i probably missed something so sorry in advance

    • Hey M! It’s so great to see you! Thanks so much for popping by! This was a pretty good episode, wasn’t it? WAY better than last week’s snoozer!

      Oh no! No, no, no! You think the show’s newfound Wren-lessness is permanent? That ALEX is Spencer’s endgame? You may very well have a point (especially based on next week’s preview clips). However, I REFUSE to accept this! I still believe, deep down, that Wren will RETURN and fight for Spencer’s heart!

      Besides, Spenlex, sounds like a really cheap fabric that makes you itch, and smells bad in the heat. Not that “Spren” is much better, but it sure beats Spenlex. You know, I think if they DO scratch Spren completely off the map, I may have to start including fake scenes for them in my recaps, out of sheer protest.

      Like this one:

      Wren enters Spencer’s bedroom, knocks Alex unconscious, and pulls her into the hottest, most passionate, kiss she has ever experienced – a kiss she could NEVER experience with What’s His Name, who was bleeding on her floor.

      LOL re: the fortune cookies! Did you notice how on the ABC Family website, they are giving away “Ali’s Fortune Cookies” as some sort of game prize. LAME! Hey, “Ali’s Fortune Cookies” sounds like a euphemism for something, if you ask me. 😉

      YAY! I agree with you COMPLETELY! Hanna went from being my least favorite Pretty Little Liar on the show, to being my favorite, in just two weeks. Hanna has the best one-liners on the show. She tells it like it is, and doesn’t sugar coat things. And she was pretty awesome about Emily’s being gay, and about standing up to Mona regarding Lucas.

      Lucas totally KICKS ASS, by the way. Hanna and Lucas have the potential to be Summer and Seth 2.0, in my humble opinion. In fact, I think I will give them a ship name: Lanna.

      Ha . . . Mona. She SUCKS! She’s not even good at being a mean girl. She should really watch Gossip Girl and pick up some pointers STAT. Otherwise, get off my TV screen, BIATCH!

      Oh, dear. I’m starting to think I’m alone in my fear of Creepy Toby. 🙂 And you’re right. I don’t think he’s A, OR the murderer. That would be too easy, on the writers’ part. I definitely think the girls jumped the gun from “he has a creepy tattoo,” and “he sexed his sister” to “he killed A.”

      Granted, with Ali gone, Toby didn’t have to constantly worry about his “secret” being exposed, but I don’t really think that’s motive to kill HER. He’s still Creepy though . . . 😉

      It’s always really touchy for a show like this to portray someone with a disability like Blind (?) Jenna. When I watch PLL, I often wonder how a real blind person would feel about the way Jenna was being portrayed. Then, it occurred to me, that even if they LISTENED to the show, actual blind people would have no way of knowing Jenna was doing things like looking into mirrors and staring at people. And that made me feel bad. Blind Jenna makes me feel bad a lot. She HAS to go!

      Melissa is just awful. Even though I’m a Spren fan all the way, I cringed when she said what she did to Alex. Granted, she definitely has a right to mad about the Wren Thing. But Spencer is in high school, and Melissa is supposed to be an ADULT. Nosing in her teenage sister’s business like that isn’t just mean, it’s pathetic. Then again, what else would you expect from Crazy Nanny Carrie . . .

      Fitzy’s new hair. LOL. Quite the controversial topic on the blogosphere it seems . . . 😉

      Thanks for your awesome comments, and for taking the time to write them. PLL watching and recapping just plain wouldn’t be the same without you!

  6. tyluv3

    you inspre me hon, you really do. so i just have to write this.
    Hanna: God i love this girl!! She outdo’s herself every episode and continues to amze me. I have new-found respect for this girl as i watched her sell her personal belongings to help her mom with bills(selling that cute purse is a sacrifice indeed). And i am patiently waiting for the day when she dumps that loser/douche-bag sean and go to sweet,caring, geeky(its one in all of us dont judge) Lucas. I swear to bob when they first kiss and Let me love you by Mario isnt played, i will write a strongly worded letter to the show’s producers.

    Aria: Ok she’s starting to bore with all of this oh-my-teacher/boyfriend-is0-gone-and-ai-am-so depressed stuff. Honestly hon move on or shut the eff up with all of that shiznit. i cant wait for ezra to makes his long awaited appearance. And i pray to god they dont do that whole Dan/Serena circle relationship thing. Oh and i feel sorry about her parents, not an easy thing to go through.

    Emily: Every morning i get up and pray to god that maya wont be in another episode. I mean shes nice and all but…really. Does she have to be here. You know what? I think the Producers owe us a 3-some on the prom night episode(you all know its going to ROCK!!) for putting up with this BS.

    Spencer: Hehehe, man i love this chick(but i miss wren wahhh wahhh. She cracks me up everytime i try to find a reason to hate her, i come up empty handed. she is so delightful to watch and a great actress. Her standing up to alison would have been great to see, i mean really great to see,and it would be nice to see a girlfight(dang i miss high school). Would love for her to get rid of alex but ill tolerate him for the rest of the season, hes no maya after-all.

    Alison: Deserves a a** whoppin like for real. I mean seriously, she was a horrible friend and doesnt deserve a memorial or hell even a funeral. If they had put me on the pesdistool to talk about her, i wouldve not made it an happy evening, at all. I wouldve talked about her like a dog, in a calm-soothing voice.

    Ezra: I misss Youuuuuu. I miss Your smilleee(for the miley cyrus fans). Come back to me shawtyyyyy, cause your taking my heart awayyyy( For the Tyerese fans out there). You make me wanna looose the one im with and start a new relationship with youuuu, that whatyou dooooo ooh yeah( For the usher fans out there). You know that i could USE somebody. yeah( for the kings of leon fans out there). But Daaaarling, YOuuuu Are the only ex-ceptiooon( for the paramore fans out there.That pretty much says how i feel.

    Jenna: She has nice eyes would love for her to become a Georgina(gossip girl) or something. Or maybe do like alison and use everyones secrets against them. Ahh the bpower of mob mentality.

    Detective Douche-bag: see you guys later, i have nothing to say about him… at all. Im just gonna stop writing. i mean i not gonna let you guys hear what i have to say about him. my keyboard is locked. like really.


    • Would you think less of me to know that I actually kind of like ICarly? 🙂

      Now, I’m not saying I’m like a regular watcher or anything, but that Sam girl is HILARIOUS! 🙂

      I think it’s safe to say most of us are on Team Hanna. It’s funny, because I REALLY DID NOT LIKE THE GIRL in the first and second episodes. Now, she just plain rules! And with Team Hanna comes the Lanna (Lucas and Hanna) ship. And I’m on board with that too.

      Ooh, Let Me Love You by Mario – nice song choice! The lyrics would work well here. One thing you’ve got to say about PLL is that they do a good job choosing their soundtrack. I’ve looked up songs on the show to download to my iPod on more than one occasion. Here’s hoping they take your advice.

      I’m with you about Emo Aria. I miss her Perky Self from the Pilot Ep! I get that she’s going through a lot of stuff, but SO IS HANNA and SHE still parties, AND is quick with the one liners. Not sure how I feel about New Guy Noel though . . . kinda boring, don’t you think? (BTW liked the Dan / Serena reference. A Gossip Girl fan, I presume? Yay for TV TWINS! You have some good taste in media, girl!)

      I never read the books that PLL comes from, but I feel like Emily HAD to a more exciting character in them, then she is here. The girl is just so bland. I’ve never SEEN such a bland lesbian. Shows like this tend to make their gays supernaturally cool, just to show they aren’t “prejudiced.” But, believe it or not, I think Emily was more exciting with Creepy Toby (or even Future Wife Beater Ben) then she is with “Scandalous” Maya. How is that possible?

      Spencer’s definitely more fun and interesting than Emily. I think Troian Bellisario does a nice job of making the character interesting and complex. Sometimes there are characters on television that are SUPPOSED to be smart, but just seem DUMB. You can TELL Spencer is smart, not just because she gets good grades, but by her dialogue and facial expressions. She’s always thinking ahead, and you never know what (or who) she’s going to do. That being said . . . BRING BACK WREN!

      LOL re: talking about Alison in a soothing dog voice! Classic!

      And you JUST KNOW you have lots of friends here on Team Fitzy. I’m sure they will be very happy to read your ODE to him! 😉

      You inspire me too, with your kickass commenting! 🙂 Thanks hon!

  7. Anastasia

    If it’s no brand it wouldn’t have a season? Plus juicy couture sweats aren’t seasonalized as far as I know.

    I’m told you aren’t meant to eat fortune cookies, they’re novelty, and don’t taste that good anyway.

    XD The lighting time change was funny.

    All our classroom are locked and all the unused area after hours too (other schools come over to play sport on Saturdays).

    Carnival theme is interesting – we didn’t have a fortune teller either – if you’re on a budget. Our senior prom this year was great, with me as head of the prom committee. The theme was masquerade, we hired a reception, got a lot of red/gold deco them and a chamber orchestra.
    No prom queen/king because they like to kill each other (two girls, one dress = food fight).

    I would have said Ezra was 27!

    A population of 7000+? Is that a lot? I thought our town was only about 3000 XD, wiki says 38,219!

    @Uninspired Fanfiction Writer
    In the book Mona gets a bigger part.

    • The sweatpants comment was a bit of sarcasm on my part. The joke being that Aria is always so fashionable, that to see her wearing cheap non-name brand sweat pants and a ponytail was so SHOCKING to her friends, it automatically made them assume she was severely depressed.

      The phrase “that’s so last season,” is a kind of cliched joke, around these parts. It tends to refer, not to actual seasons, but to the fact that fashion is so mutable, that if you wear something that is in-style one season, it will be dated and unstylish within a few months, regardless of the weather . . .

      I would say 7,000 is a moderate (though maybe a bit on the small side) sized town. That being said, I definitely got that small town impression from the show, in which it seemed like everybody (and not just the teens either) seemed to know everybody else’s business. That sort of all-knowingness probably couldn’t occur in a large city, due to the sheer logistics of population.

      Your prom sounds pretty awesome too (almost as awesome as the PLL girls)! And I think its really impressive that you headed up the committee. Just think, everyone will have you to thank for all the awesome prom memories they will carry around for the rest of their lives. That’s kind of cool!

      Oh, and I kind of like the taste of fortune cookies :). Sure they are hard (more like crackers than cookies) and grow stale quickly, but there is something kind of sweet and comforting about them . . .

      Thanks again for your insight, Anastasia. As always, I love talking PLL with you!


    I am just gonna characterize the girls one by one. Is that all right? Well oh well. Your just gonna have to deal with this (:))
    Lets start with Emily: Less Maya, more Toby? Okay that seems better than a 30-something year old actress being the lesbian (no offense to anyone who is a homosexual. i am NOT homophobic) friend. I rather see creepy yet sweet Toby. Really? Their entrance to the dance was a little over the top; Toby: Why don’t we stand here and let everyone look at us? Emily: Yay! Sounds like a plan! The chemistry lab really should have been locked, considering its the weekend and 10:00 at night. Did anyone notice them go up? Or is Ezra the only chaperone at the dance and then he leaves? (more on that later) Or did anyone notice Toby carrying Emily’s limp body out?
    Now off to Hanna (mainly Lucas): Hanna and Lucass’ sexercise was AWESOME and probably my favorite scene besides Ezra- (dang it! I keep going on to him! Keep focused on the topic). Lucas: I don’t need to know the genetic splice between Barbie and Shakira. LOL Lucas (I see reruns of Saved by the bell and its pretty good for an older show that was made before I was born :)). Then the bow tie was so cute on him. He is the sweetest guy besides (I am not even gonna say his name, you know who i mean)- He drives Hanna all the way to the the dentist office with gas prices at $3 bucks a gallon (sorry I just wanted to throw that out there) and then patiently waits for her to break the law…..So sweet. Little Lucas is an accesory to crime. One date to tell their future offspring 🙂
    Off to Spencer: Wren is gone again (i feel your pain) and then she is going to Homecoming with ball boy Alex (Seriously! I thought he was gay! “Color cordinate” was so…..yeah). Then that wench of a sister of hers is there (I am glad Wren didn’t marry Melissa. He can get Spencer for a much lower b*itchness status :D) Even though Spencer ditched Alex maybe 4 times that night to go rescue Emily from getting her Toby loving on, but Melissa is the one that got the idea that Toby is just a pawn in Spencer’s whore (This is what Melissa was implying!) schedule, which was pretty evil.
    Now on to the really juicy part, Ezra (……..sorry lets move on) and Aria’s ugly break up (it was extremely SAD at that moment). Ezra got a really dorky haircut didn’t he? (His intentions were good, as always, though the results didn’t turn out well ;() Aria obviously has a lot on her plate and her breakup with Ezra doesn’t help. As much as I love him, he is sending these mixed signals that keep going on and off like a light switch. Then the bean bag toss……That moment just screamed AWKWARD. I mean really? I knew it was gonna be Ezra in that hut before Aria even walked near it. Now on to Ezra being jealous. Could there be anything hotter (even with him in that dweeby haircut?) He basically tells Aria he loves her (“I could never hate never hate you” was just……..well it melted my heart into soggy Chunky Monkey ice cream) . Then he leaves. *sniffles* Like I said I hate to love him and his mysterious light switch of his love for Aria.
    Then the Population thing was scary……I didn’t know whether that was -A or Toby or Jenna? Or her future demon dog of destruction?

    • LOL. How awesome would it be, if the camera panned back from the “person” writing on the Population billboard, and it ended up being JENNA’S DOG, poised with paint can in paw? Come to think of it, where oh where has Scruffy (I don’t remember what the dog’s name was, so I will just call it Scruffy) gone. We haven’t really seen him since Homecoming Hangover, have we? I wonder if he’s hiding in the same place as WREN!

      You know, that Population Sign Thing ended up being a HUGE red herring, didn’t it? After all, no one (at least, that we know of) actually died, between the time that happened, and the most recent episode. Those little teases, in the writing department! Shame on them!

      I agree that Emily’s and Toby’s entrance at the dance was WAY too overdramatic. I half expected them to stop the music entirely, so that the only sound that could be heard in the entire ballroom was Toby’s clunky shoes on the hard linoleum floor. And what the heck WERE those chaperones’ doing, while two of their students just roamed free in a Science Lab that was probably filled with dangerous chemicals. The school is lucky that Emily and Toby didn’t end up burning the place down!

      BAD Ezra! Obviously, he was thinking about his love for Aria too much to consider silly little things like “fire hazards” and “student safety.” 🙂

      The SEXERCISE is probably in my top two favorite PLL moments too. (Of course, my FAVORITE moment is the Spencer / Wren kiss. See? You have your obsession, and I have mine. But at least the object of your obsession has been around for the past six months! Mine is just getting sad! :))

      If you’ve ever had a chance to watch The O.C. (excellent show, by the way — I think they still play reruns on Soapnet), Lucas and Hanna were 100% Seth and Summer, during this episode. And, you are right, with all the MAJORLY BAD STUFF Hanna and Lucas have done, during the course of their “relationship” (i.e. destruction of public property, trespassing, breaking and entering, theft, underage drinking, grand theft auto, more or less hiring someone to total your best friend’s mom’s car . . .), when these two do eventually have kids, they will never be able to yell at them for ANYTHING they do wrong, without feeling like total hypocrites. 🙂

      I can just picture it now: “Dad, can you tell me about the time you bashed in some dead girl’s ugly ass memorial to pieces with a sledgehammer?”

      “Hey, Mom! Tell us about how you stole confidential records from a shrink’s office, which informed you that your neighbor was making monkey with his possibly blind sister.”

      “Grandma, what’s an Unauthorized Loan?”

      Man, I love this show! 🙂

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