Fresh Faces, Altered Alliances, Same Sue! – A Recap of Glee’s Season 2 Premiere “Audition”

Your pals at New Directions would like to wish you a Big Ole’ “WELCOME BACK!”

Tonight’s season premiere of Glee offered us a number of things we thought would NEVER happen at McKinley High!  Artie, a Football Jock?  Finn, a Cheerleader?  Will and Sue, best buddies / Partners in Crime?  Rachel, dethroned as Queen Diva of New Directions?  WHAT THE GLEEK?

“What is the world coming to?  Oh, the HUMANITY!”

Perhaps, now would be a good time to backtrack and explain  . . .

Glee’s Big Gay Summer

According to Jacob Ben Israel’s video blog, a lot has happened to our favorite Glee kids during those warm hot summer months.  Finn and Rachel became a couple . . .

 . . . despite the fact that Finn still thinks Rachel is “control-ist.”

Tina dumped Artie . . .

. . .  because he and her just don’t share the same interests, anymore.  For example, lately, Tina has become very interested in Mike Chang’s abs .  . .

 . . . which are AWESOME, by the way!  Who knew?

I don’t know about you, but I smell another Love Triangle in our future . . .

(Speaking of abs, check out these new pics of Matthew Morrison, who plays Will Schuester on Glee.)

Holy, PECTORALS, Batman!

Also, Puck . . .

 . . . got a VASECTOMY??????

Presumably, this means that, never again, will another unsuspecting teen be forced to carry a Little Puckerman in their belly for nine months . . .

 He can still give them crabs, though . . .

Perhaps, most importantly, whatever “esteemed status” our Glee kids may have gained last year (read: no status at all), was lost the moment New Directions failed to place at Sectionals, last year.

Without a trophy on the mantel to justify their existence as a school club, New Directions’ ever tenuous funding is now on shakier footing than ever.  It certainly doesn’t help that Principal Figgins has hired a new football coach, Ms. Beist (played by Dot Jones).

The result of this “new hire” is that the Glee Club’s already anorexic budget has been cut by an additional ten percent.  But, here’s the kicker . . . so has the budget for SUE SYLVESTER’S CHEERIOS!

Understandably, this does not make Sue a Happy Camper . . .

Sue and Will: BFF?

With the Beist breathing down their necks, and snagging a big chunk of each of their club’s cash, Will Schuester and Sue Sylvester find themselves in a rather unusual situation.  They are both  .  . . ON THE SAME SIDE!

Clearly, the Apocalypse has arrived.  In order to recover the lost budgets for their respective clubs, Sue and Will decide to team up to topple the Beist.  Their Evil Genius Plan?  Operation Mean Girls . . .

An Expert Bully, Sue knows a High School Geek when she sees one: “She’s oversized, humorless, and refers to herself in the third person, as an animal (a Panther, to be exact),” Sue says of the Beist.  Sue figures that the best way to eliminate this beastly nemesis would be to capitalize on her insecurities and permanent outsider status.  For their first order of business, Sue and Schue order 25 pizzas, to be delivered to the Boy’s Locker room, precisely, when the first football practice of the Season is about to begin . . .

All right . . . now who gets the Sausage?

To Beist’s credit, she doesn’t appear to be at all fazed by the prank.  And when the new football coach learns that, if the pizzas are not paid for, the delivery boy won’t be able to afford to buy his kid Pampers . . .

 . . . Beist gallantly pays for the entire order.  She then offers all of her football players pizza, forcing them each to eat four slices prior to football tryouts.  “The first person who pukes, is cut!”  She barks.

Well, played Beist (or should I say, Panther)!

Then, in the faculty lounge (where Guidance Counselor Emma is no where to be found, by the way) . . .

Missing in Action

 .  . . Will and Sue sit at different lunch tables, both of which are otherwise empty.  However, when Beist tries to sit at both of them, the “mature educators” instruct her that she can’t, because the seats are already taken by their “imaginary friends.”

“Everyone said that Sue was the school bully, and you were really cool,” Beist says to Will, as she exits the faculty lounge.  “I guess they got that last part wrong.”

She sure showed him, didn’t she?

Then, Sue takes things one step further, by commandeering Brittany to claim that the Beist touched her boobies.  Using a doll that looks suspiciously similar to McKinley High’s Most Scholarly Cheerio (down to the vacant expression in its eyes), Brittany demonstrates to Principal Figgins the inappropriate conduct that she purportedly suffered at the hands of the Beist.  “She touched me here,” says Brittany emotionlessly, her thin fingers poking Little Brittany’s cotton-stuffed knockers . . .

Realizing that Operation Mean Girls has gone too far, Will begs Brittany to tell the truth about her “traumatic experience.”  Almost instantly, the Blonde Cheerleader cracks under interrogation.

“OK.  I lied.  Ms. Beist didn’t touch my boobs.  In fact, I really wanted to touch her boobs,” mumbles the not-so-closeted bisexual.

Later, when Sue tries to get Beist to eat cookies made of dog poop (“They’re organic!”), Will FINALLY intervenes on Beist’s behalf.  Later, he apologizes to the female football coach.  “Losing Sectionals forced me to realize that New Directions is still an Outsider at this school, and that’s how I made you feel.  I’m sorry,” offers McKinley High’s Most Recently Redeemed Bad Boy.

Awwww, it seems our Little Schuester has FINALLY grown up!  The question is, for how long?

A Little Sunshine can go a LONG way . . .

Still smarting from their Sectionals loss, and down one Glee Club member  .  . .

(Oh, Matt, we barely knew thee . . . and never even really learned what your voice sounded like)

 .  . . New Directions is going to need some new blood, if it wants to have a shot at attending Nationals in New York City this year.  To drum up interest in the club, and to show the school they aren’t just about “80’s music and show tunes” (which, lets face it, up until this episode . . . they kind of were), our favorite Glee kids decide to put on a show for their high school classmates at lunch.  Clad in the kind of vastly overpriced NYC t-shirts you might find at an illegally operated bodega in Times Square, the crew performs a fairly stripped-down, but still quite funky, rendition of Jay Z and Alicia Key’s Empire State of Mind.

And . . . basically, everybody ignores them . . .

 . . . well . . . everybody, except for THIS girl . . .

Rachel finds new foreign exchange student, Sunshine Corazone (played by Filipino pop sensation, Charise), in the ladies’ restroom.  In typical Rachel-fashion, New Directions Queen Diva immediately suggests that Sunshine join the Glee club, in a manner that is both patronizing and more than a little bit racist.  “Ah, I can see you don’t speak English,” Rachel begins sweetly.  “I . . . en-cour-age . . . you . . . to join Glee.  We need people who can stand in back of me, waving a fan, and looking on ado-ring-ly, while I sing.  Waving . . . a . .  .  flag . . . fun . . . Glee . . .  is fun.”

(Now, I am not a violent person, by nature.  But I wanted to slap Rachel so hard during this scene, that my fist very nearly detached itself from my body, and flew into the television screen . . .)

To her credit, Sunshine DIDN’T punch Rachel.  Instead, she started rocking out to her iPod, and singing along (extremely well, I might add), to the Beyonce and Lady Gaga song “Telephone.”

Impressed, and more than a bit threatened, Rachel begins to sing the song as well.  Soon, the two diminutive girls are engaged in a full on sing-off, circling one another like wrestlers at a WWF title match.

Then, Sue comes in to the bathroom, and catches wind of the whole exchange.  “SHUT UP!” She exclaims, stopping the girls’ right in the middle of their Glass Breaking Belt-fest.

You’ve gotta love Sue . . .

“That was fun!  I would love to join your club.  When are auditions?”  Sunshine inquires, with faux innocence.  (Clearly, this girl isn’t as naive as she appears .  . .)

Worried that Sunshine will upstage her during Glee Club performances will mess up the “team dynamic,” Rachel tries to convince the other Glee Club members not to allow Sunshine to audition.  And when her initial attempts at Sunshine Sabotage are unsuccessful, Rachel REALLY turns to the Dark Side . . .

“RACHEL . . . I am one of your two Gay Fathers!”

“Here are specific directions to the Glee Club auditions,” Rachel says sweetly to Sunshine, providing her with a slip of paper, that looks as though it says a hell of a lot more than, “Turn left at the girl’s bathroom, and enter the auditiorium, on your right.”

Little did Poor Sunshine know that Evil Rachel had just provided her with directions to a Crack House . . .

And if anyone would know where all the good crack houses are in Ohio, its Rachel!  After all, she practically grew up in Crack Den!

“Crack is WACK!”

When the other Glee Club members find out what Rachel did to Sunshine they are furious, particularly Tina and Mike (The Asian community is VERY tight, after all)!  And so, with her tail between her legs, Rachel must apologize to the now Partly Cloudy, Sunshine.  “They took my sheet music and used it for toilet paper,” whines Sunshine, when Rachel offers her condolences.

Ultimately, however, Sunshine agrees to audition for the Glee club, for real, this time.  On stage, she performs a rendition of Dreamgirls’ “Listen” that literally blows everybody away. 

Immediately, upon the song’s completion, Will offers Sunshine a position in the club.  Unfortunately, for Will, and the rest of New Directions, however, Sunshine has other plans.  And when Will arrives at Sunshine’s locker to personally hand her a practice schedule, he finds her being coddled by none other than THIS GUY . . .

He can “coddle” ME, anytime!

It’s the New Vocal Adrenaline Coach, Dustin Goldsberry (played by Cheyenne Jackson)!  Dustin has just waltzed into McKinley High to pick up Vocal Adrenaline’s newest star singer.  (Seriously?  Is there NO security in this high school?  I hope they have good insurance . . .) 

“They gave my mom and me a condo and a greencard,” Sunshine tells Will, excitedly. 

 (And this is all supposedly coming from a Public School?  I don’t think so, Glee Writers . . .)

Sunshine admits to Will, that she would have stayed with New Directions, had it not been for Rachel’s intimidation tactics.  “I just don’t think I could work with her, after she sent me to a Crack House” Sunshine explains, apologetically. 

With Sunshine’s Hello Kitty backpack, hugging his shoulders . . .

Bookbag of Champions

  .  . . Diego puts his arm creepily around Sunshine, and the two walk off into the Sunset (no pun intended), taking Will Schuester’s dreams of a slam dunk Sectional win, right along with them.

Apparently, Vocal Adrenaline’s new coach was tipped off to Sunshine’s incredible talents, by none other than Sue Sylvester . . .

 . . . who, if you recall, heard Sunshine sing in the bathroom, earlier in the episode.  So, much for the short-lived alliance between Sue and Will!  Perhaps, next time Mr. Schuester will think twice before turning down Poop Cookies . . .

The Downside of Big Boobs  . . .

Speaking of Sue Sylvester, apparently, she has decided to make little change to the Cheerios roster. 

Not only has she reluctantly allowed Quinn back on the squad, post-Baby Debacle . . .

. . . she has also reappointed her as Head Cheerleader, forcing Santana to give up her golden pom-poms, and relocate to the bottom of the proverbial Cheer Pyramid.

The reason for this change?  Santana’s new boobs!

Apparently, “having Massively Large Fake Tatas” and “Cheerleading” do not mix, at least, as far as Sue is concerned.

“Take your juicy vine-ripened chest fruit, and GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!”  Sue yells at the recently dethroned Santana.

Sayonara, Suckers!

Santana responds to her demotion, by engaging in a full on catfight with Quinn, who has once again returned to her high-ponytail wearing, tiny uniform-flaunting glory.

So, much for the Glee kids being “One Big Happy Family” . . .

The Outsiders

You know who else is NEVER going to be Head Cheerleader?  THIS GUY . . .

Unfortuntely, after this episode, he might not be Quarterback, either . . .

No stranger to being on the losing end of a love triangle, himself, Finn sympathized with Artie’s desire to be “cool,” in order to win Tina back . . . as well as Artie’s desire to “have abs” . . .

Honestly, can you blame Quinn for “Pucking” this guy, over Finn?

And so, when Artie expressed a desire to join the football team, not only did Finn see an opportunity to help out a friend, he also saw a chance to utilize Artie’s wheelchair as a very unique weapon on the football field — a “human cannonball” of sorts.  (Ummm, Finn?  I’m not really sure that kind of thing is ALLOWED in high school football.  But, hey, what do I know?)

However, when Coach Beist hears Finn’s idea about letting Artie on the team, she becomes CONVINCED the idea is just another stunt of Sue’s and Will’s to make her look insensitive to physically challenged students, like Artie.  And so, “the Panther” lashes out, and THROWS FINN OFF THE FOOTBALL TEAM!

This results in Finn trying out for the Cheerios, in a hilarious audition, that reminded me a bit of that iconic scene from Napoleon Dynamite . . .

It also resulted in New Student Sam, despite his penchant for singing Poison’s “Every Rose has its Thorn” in the shower . . .

. . . and rocking out on the guitar to Travis McCoy’s “Billionaire” . . .

. . .  to ditch Glee club auditions, out of fear of catching the virulent contagion that is Finn’s new “OUTSIDER” status.  Did I forget to mention that Sam is also McKinley High’s newest Quarterback?

The episode ends with a very sweet scene between Finn and Rachel . . .

. . . during which they accept one another’s faults and mutual outsider status, and agree never to dump one another at least, until someone better comes along.  After the pair share an admittedly sweet, and, surprisingly not too nauseating, kiss, a dejected Rachel heads off by herself to sing a rousing, if slightly maudlin, rendition of “What I Did For Love.” 

Admittedly, when I first heard the song, I was certain it was another Streisand ditty.  (We all know how much Rachel LOVES those!)  However, upon doing a little research, I quickly learned that the song is actually from the Broadway show “A Chorus Line.”

Shows how much I know . . .

 (Seriously, Glee?  What happened to Will’s promise of LESS show tunes?  It’s only the first episode back, and we already had two . . . just saying.)

Certain mundane song choices aside, I was quite impressed with “Audition.”  The episode offered some solid development of veteran characters, like Rachel and Finn, as well as introduced some promising new ones, like Sunshine, Sam, and Coach Beist. 

I am also excited by some of the new plotlines that were teased out during the hour, and the questions raised by those plotlines.  For example: How long will Finn and Rachel manage to keep it together as a couple, before someone ELSE — most likely, Quinn or Puck — gets in the way?  Is Finn really off the football team for good?  Is Sunshine destined to be the next Jesse St. James?  What grand gesture will Artie inevitably plan to win back Tina’s heart?

And that was this week’s installment of Glee, in a nutshell . . .

So, now that you know my thoughts on the subject, how did YOU like the Glee premiere?  Did it deserve a standing ovation?  Or did you find some of the new storylines and characters a bit “pitchy?”

[www.juliekushner.com]

8 Comments

Filed under Glee

8 responses to “Fresh Faces, Altered Alliances, Same Sue! – A Recap of Glee’s Season 2 Premiere “Audition”

  1. imaginarymen

    I loved the opening bit w/ Jacob asking all those thinly veiled questions that reflected RL gossip about the show. That was very clever.

    I hope that the Will/Sue dynamic comes back into play. Keeping those two on the same side a bit longer would be great. Their positive chemistry is just as good as their negative chemistry.

    Sue, Sue, Sue – I LOVE HER!!!! Between her “imaginary friends” and barking “go! disperse! leave the danish!” to other teachers, and the classic “SHUT UP” in the girls bathroom – there are not enough Emmy’s in the WORLD to reward the brilliance of Jane Lynch.

    I’ve had my eye on Mike Chang since the “Glee” cast were on Oprah earlier in the year and that actor Harry Shum did the most RIDICULOUS dance that defied logic of how he even made his body do what it did. So I’m quite happy to see he’ll have a bigger part this year. Particularly if it involves seeing more of those ABS (you go Tina!!)

    I don’t know show tunes, nor apparently contemporary hits bc other than “Telephone” I had no idea what any of the new songs were that they were singing!

    Oh and that new guy – the cracks about his mouth being too big and “losing the Bieber hair” were hilarious “I don’t know, I’ve never had balls in my mouth before” HEE!

    And Biest’s comebacks to Sue – and Sue’s responses were brilliant “You’re all coffee and no omelette” “That makes no sense” :->

    All in all it kept me interested, I still was fiddling on the computer for most of it, but I would put up w/ a lot to see Sue Sylvester tormenting someone ;-0

    Great recap as always!

    • YES! The whole “video blog” concept was great! Very “meta.” I love when show writers have the ability to laugh at themselves. It’s so rare on television these days! I particularly liked the comments about Matthew Morrison’s “rapping,” Glee catering to gays (with all their 80s songs and show tunes), and whatever Jacob said to Chris Colfer about the Kurt character. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but I recall it being pretty scathing!

      I loved the Will / Sue dynamic in this episode too! Those two are great together. In fact, I could probably watch an entire hour consisting solely of Jane Lynch and Matthew Morrison playing off one another. And, while I realize that Sue and Will being nemeses is one of the show’s main comedic “gimmicks,” it was kind of nice to see them getting a long for a change. I particularly got a kick out of the childish glee, Sue got seeing Will not allow Beist to sit at the lunch table with him. (She even gave him a Fist Pound!)

      Harry Shum’s abs are INSANE! Do you think if I learn to dance like that, I can get me some of those? 😉 A girl can dream, can’t she?

      I wasn’t so crazy about the song choices this week, either. I mean, I do enjoy “Empire State of Mind.” (The song is in high rotation on my iPod.) However, I didn’t really feel like the Glee cast did anything particularly new or inventive with it, in their lunchtime performance.

      Conversely, “Telephone” is NOT one of my favorite songs, but I liked Lea Michele and Charice’s interpretation, as well as the whole “Bathroom Sing Off.” And even though I’m not crazy about “Listen,” I thought it was a good song to showcase Charice’s spectacular range as a songstress. As for Chord Overstreet’s two songs, Meh . . .

      LOL – I cracked up over the “Bieber hair,” “big mouth,” and “balls” comments directed at the Sam character too! (To be honest, this morning, I was kicking myself for not including them in this recap. So, thanks for indirectly including them for me.) 🙂

      I love reading your comments, Amy! Even when you are “fiddling with the computer,” while watching a show, you always manage to pull out the best quotes. I’m not sure how you do it, but it kicks some serious ASS! 😉

  2. Carol

    Loved the “Empire State of Mind” scene. I knew that they wouldn’t get any attention, but I still liked it so much.

    I also loved that Mike, Brittany and Santana are getting more screen time. Mike’s abs = LOVE.

    The new characters look interesting. “Billionarie” was great, but “Telephone” was awesome. Rachel is so freaking annoying. I can’t stand her. Every time she’s on screen not singing, I get annoyed with her very existence.

    Finn is such a moron. Wheelchair? Centrifugal force? Please. I thought Artie was inteligent at least, I’m disapointed.

    Sue had the best lines, like always. But imaginarymen already commented my favorites anyway, saves me time.

    The opening with Jacob = Favorite part of this episode. The catfight = Laughed so hard. And Brittany was like ‘Peace, everyone’, loved it.

    ps: Not enough Puck this episode.

    ps2: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_5zib5jYA2yA/TEbtCrDsdFI/AAAAAAAAB1A/re4k28IbomM/s400/harry-shum-jr.jpg

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_lLsdaCVk3Kk/SxFcLioj6cI/AAAAAAABVes/8zV5q6Lc1xg/s400/HarryShumJr08.jpg (I don’t really appreciate his hair in this one, but oh well…)

    Ok, I’ve finished now

    • Thanks for all the AWESOME Shum Pics! They were super yummy, of course! You’re the best!

      I’m in total agreement with your, “not enough Puck” comment. Yet, I’m pretty confident there will be PLENTY more where that came from in the episodes to come. Unlike some other shows we know ;)), Glee definitely knows where its bread is buttered. And Glee fans (myself included)? Well, they LOVE THEIR PUCK!

      Brittany’s muttering “Stop the violence,” during Quinn’s and Santana’s catfight was CLASSIC. I’m really psyched that next week appears to be a “Brittany-centric” episode. She’s one of my favorite Gleeks. Someone, give this girl a spinoff!

      You are right. Finn’s idea of using Artie as a Human Cannon was TOTALLY idiotic! And yet, why do I have a feeling, it’s absolutely going to happen at some point this season? Last season, I didn’t think they could realistically get away with Kurt’s “Put a Ring on it” endzone dance, and they did it anyway. It’s like every single Glee kid has to be a cheerleader and a faux-jock at one point on this show . . .

      I am SO glad, I’m not the only one who was REALLY annoyed by Rachel during this episode. I know that her character is supposed to be grating. But, usually, I can just sort of laugh her off. The whole Sunshine thing, though? Ugh! Rachel Berry was like nails on a chalkboard throughout the ENTIRE plotline! Hopefully, the writers ease up on the Evil Rachel Stuff a bit in the future . . .

      Thanks again for the fabulous pics and comments!

  3. snottlebie

    Great recap, as always!

    I liked this episode, but I think all the hype kept me expecting it to be much better. It was only alright for me (mostly due to Rachel’s storyline).

    Likes: “Empire State of Mind” song, bathroom sing-off, everything sue says, the scene where Finn is auditioning and the Cheerio with Down Syndrome (can’t remember her name) is helping Sue with the auditions, the catfight, no Terry/love interest for Schue, Mike’s abs, Sue and Schue’s alliance, Brittany, and surprisingly, the Beiste character. I thought Glee was going to do it’s usual stereotypical depictions, but already they added a lot of depth to the character.

    Dislikes: Rachel’s plotline. She can be controlling and still be fun to watch, Glee writers. Work on it. Sam’s upcoming plotline (like we need another HSM set-up), lack of Puck/Brittany/Santana/Kurt, and the snatching up of Sunshine before we got to see her and Rachel interact in New Directions.

    So…yea. Usually I can offer actually contributions for discussion, but like Glee, I am unable to present a reasonable narrative and a cohesive plot (which I’m able to get by, as long as whatever they’re saying is hilarious enough).

    • snottlebie

      *its, *offer actual ….my bad

    • Hi snottlebie! It’s great to see you! I am so excited to talk Glee with you this season!

      I felt the exact same way you did about Beist. When I had first heard about the character, I’ll admit that I rolled my eyes. I thought, for sure, she would be this two dimensional, butch, evil, (for lack of a better word) BEAST. And yet she has already shown herself to be so much more complex than that.

      Both the “crying scene,” and the scene where Beist threw Finn off the football team, had the potential to be very hammy and WAY overacted. Instead, they were surprisingly understated and interesting. Nice job, Dot Jones! I can’t wait to see what you do next . . .

      And, of course, I LOVE Mark Salling! So, like you, I could have used MUCH more Puck in this Season Premiere. He definitely brought the funny though, with his vasectomy admission, and his comments regarding the size of Sam Evans’ mouth! Hopefully, the writers will give him a nice juicy storyline this year. He deserves one!

      Speaking of someone who deserves more screentime, I can’t WAIT for next week’s Brittany-centric episode. It’s ABOUT time! I bet it will be hilarious. Also, I am very curious to see whether Heather Morris can actually carry a solo number . . . I suspect she can.

      Like you, I was disappointed that they transferred Sunshine over to Vocal Adrenaline so quickly. With all the hype over Charice joining the cast, you would have thought the writers would have given her more to do! Plus, I am SO TIRED of Queen Bee Rachel stealing all the solos, and making everything about her. It would have been nice to watch her have to suck it up and be second fiddle for a change.

      Rachel was pretty unbearable during this episode. The writers really do have to soften up her character a bit this season, if they want to continue having so many episodes focused on her. Rachel Berry is a Type A personality, arrogant, and self-absorbed. We get it. Now, it’s time to give her some more redeeming qualities.

      And, yes, I too got a bit of an HSM vibe from the new Sam Evans character. When he was making that speech to Finn about not fitting in, and being “three touchdowns down,” if he joined Glee club, I was half expecting the rest of the football team to bounce out from behind the lockers, and start singing “Get Your Head in the Game.”

      All in all, though, I think it was a promising start for the new season. I am very eager to see what they come up with next. 🙂

  4. Pingback: “I see undead people – and, um, old people”: Recap – AMC’s The Walking Dead – S01E04 – Vatos « myspideysenseistingling

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