Never Cry Werewolf – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “Plan B”

Believe it or not, this is a REAL movie poster, from an ACTUAL MOVIE, starring Nina Dobrev  . . . and . . . one very non- Taylor Kinney looking werewolf, who is in SERIOUS need of dental insurance.  The internet is a strange and wonderful place . . .

Holy crap!  Let me say that again . . . HOLY CRAP!  Could this show get ANY MORE INSANE?  I mean, I don’t think I’ve gasped or OMG’ed more in a single hour since . . . well . . . since the Season 1 Finale of The Vampire Diaries!  And to think, this episode was supposed to be the “tame one,” leading up to the TOTAL BLOODBATH that will be next week’s “Masquerade!”

But, before we begin our weekly recap, I would like everyone to please take a moment of silence for Mason’s Family Jewels.

After all, our “Big Scary Werewolf” ended up being nothing more than a “Poor Little Lovesick Puppy,” didn’t he?

We’ll miss you, Mason Lockwood . . . you Little Weiner, YOU!

So Much Hot Sex, So Little Time . . .

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, TVD writers, for giving me TWO sex scenes for the price of ONE . . . and all within the first five minutes of this episode.  Talk about EFFICIENCY!

Granted, NEITHER of these sex scenes were the “Damon and Elena” sex scene I’ve been hoping and praying for, every Thursday night, for 1.25 seasons now . . .

 . . . but they were still PRETTY DARN SPICY!

The episode opens with Elena “gazing” not “staring” at Stefan, in a state of post-coital / pre-coital bliss. (Vampires . . . they’ve got STAMINA!).  Still tingly from all the hot fangy loving, Elena still can’t help but worry a bit over whether Katherine will find out their Big Ole Fight, was a Big Ole Fake. 

Meanwhile, Katherine is whispering sweet nothings into a naked Mason’s Big Dog Ears.

“Give me you’re Big Jewels!  I want to grab and squeeze Jewels!  Let me fondle your Wolfy Jewels!”

Yes, boys and girls!  Our girl Katherine has a bit of a one-track mind, it seems.  But Mason, to his credit, doesn’t fall for Katherine’s Little Vampire Games . . . at least, not entirely. 

Despite Katherine’s promises to the contrary, Mason isn’t quite certain that he and the Evil One will live “Happily Ever After,” once he turns over the Moonstone.  In fact, Mason seems a bit concerned that, once he turns over his Fancy Family Jewels, Sexy Times with Katherine will be OVER, with a capital O . . .

 . . . and that would make him one SAD PUPPY.  (Not to mention, give him a WICKED case of these . . .)

As us wily TVD fan’s know, Mason’s right to be skeptical of Katherine’s true intentions.  After all,  she was the one that orchestrated the activation of Mason’s “werewolf curse” to begin with.  You know . . . by compelling that Carrot Top-looking guy to go all Crazy Insane-o on Mason’s ass . . .


So, rather than turn over his Family Jewels right away, Mason decides to . . . hide them in a tight cavernous hole, where the Sun Don’t Shine . . .

Ummm . . . I meant that vervain and snake-filled WELL . . . on the Lockwood Property.  You dirty-minded creatures, you!

And the Newest Recruit to the Salvatore Detective Agency is . . .


Those of you (like me) who felt it was HIGH TIME that The Littlest Gilbert stopped mourning his Dead Vampire Girlfriends / getting the stuffing beaten out of him, and joined his sister’s Scooby Gang, got their wish this week.  The very brave (or incredibly stupid, depending on how you look at it) boy had precisely NO QUALMS about dropping by La Casa de Rich and Awesome, and paying a visit to the VERY SAME PERSON who actually killed him, during the Season 2 premiere . . .

Yes, go ahead.  By all means, complain that the above picture is inaccurate, because Damon was actually wearing a shirt, during this scene . . . I DARE YOU! 🙂

Using the knowledge he learned last week, during Sexy Times with Tyler, as leverage to gain acceptance into the Salvatore Detective Agency  . . .

 . . . Jeremy shares with Damon valuable information about both the “werewolf curse” and the Lockwood Family Jewels.  But Damon, being Damon, is much more interested in Elena.

Specifically, Damon wants to know if Elena thinks he’s sexy whether Elena knows what Jeremy is currently doing here at La Casa de Rich and Awesome.  When Jeremy admits that Elena would NOT want her little brother playing with the likes of Naughty Bad Influence Damon, the Sexy Vampire snarks, “You’re a Gilbert.  You can’t help yourself . . . especially when it comes to ME.

Damon then allows Jeremy entrance into La Casa de Rich and Awesome, and, by extension the Scooby Gang.  (Just call him Scrappy Doo!)

“Mini Gilbert, reporting for duty, SIR!”

The Worst Kept Secret EVER reveals itself . . . TWICE

Over at the Lockwood Mansion, where seemingly EVERY snooty town-related event is held (What . . . no Mystic Falls Convention Center?), approximately half the TVD cast is prepping for next week’s MAJOR game-changing episode entitled “Masquerade the town’s annual Masquerade Ball.  There, Useless Aunt Jenna . . .

 . . . (who was surprisingly significantly less USELESS this week, and actually functioned as a MAJOR plot point) . . .

I know, crazy, right?

 . . . approaches Stefan about coming to the Gilbert house that evening for another rousing game of Pictionary Family Dinner.  In keeping up with his Fake Fight Story, Stefan tells Jenna, that he’d prefer not to come, because he and Elena are taking a “pause.”


Useless Aunt Jenna then informs Stefan that . . . “That’s not what it sounded like last night.”

OK . . . am I the only one who would find the concept of my aunt / guardian telling my boyfriend how INSANELY LOUD he and I are when we screw, REALLY CREEPY?

“At least now I know what to buy Aunt Jenna for her birthday . . . earplugs . . . REALLY BIG earplugs.”

Oh, and while we are on the subject . . . Elena  . . .


Meanwhile, Bonnie  . . .

 . . . confronts Elena about the cold shoulder she has received from her former bud, ever since the Little Witch started being a BIG b*tch her whole “Vampire Hatred” kick . . . a habit that even extended to the Witch’s former Bestie, Caroline.

“You don’t want to talk to me anymore, Bonnie?  FINE!  But I am SO not letting you borrow my new lipstick!”

When Elena tells Bonnie that her fight with Stefan is a fake one, Bonnie admits that she had NO IDEA the two were even fighting.  *cough* bad friend *cough*  Although Bonnie is not quite ready to Re-Friend Caroline yet, she does seem amenable to making a go at things with Elena again . . . And, all I have to say, is it’s ABOUT DAMN TIME!

Vampy Mama Drama

 Speaking of Caroline, she’s been busy babysitting her vampire-despising Mommy, while the mother/daughter pair wait for the vervain to leave the latter’s system.   This way,  Mama Dearest can be brainwashed into forgetting how her vampire daughter “Did not Shoot the Sheriff, but definitely ATE the Deputy . . .”

At first, Mama Forbes wants nothing to do with her Undead Daughter.  However, as Caroline explains to her mother her new way of life, i.e. drinking blood bags, filched from hospitals, and sucking on the occasional bunny . . .

 . . . Mama Forbes begins to recognize what US fans have already known for about three episodes now . . . Namely, that Vampire Caroline is WAY COOLER, and MUCH LESS ANNOYING than human Caroline ever was!

It’s Time for Yet Another Pow Wow of Sexiness and Plot Explanation . . .

Back at La Casa de Rich and Awesome, Damon’s Bromantic Buddy, Alaric . . .

. . .  has arrived bearing a very nerdy box filled with snoozy information about werewolf lore.  Apparently, according to some lame Aztec Ritual, when it comes to Moonstones, only he (or she) who “made the curse, can break the curse.” 

 Wait . . . isn’t that kind of like, “Who smelt it, dealt it?”

 Ultimately, the Salvatore Detective Agency concludes that, if they want to get to Mason, they have to get his Family Jewels first.  This sounds like a job for . . . Tyler’s hot little lover MINI GILBERT.

When Elena and Stefan find out about Jeremy’s involvement in Damon’s grand plan, they are both majorly pissed.  Elena tells Jeremy not to trust Damon.  Stefan, for his part, gives Damon a Big Ole Bitch Slap . . .

 But these protestations are to no avail.  Scrappy Doo is already on the case!  And there’s nothing anybody can do about it!  (SO THERE!)

After talking to Tyler, Jeremy learns that the almost-wolf has already given Mason back his balls Family Jewels.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.  So, the Salvatore Detective Agency decides to put in a pinch hitter, or should I say .  . .  a “witch hitter.”

Bonnie watches the porno in Mason’s Mind . . . and likes it!

When Little Witch Bonnie bumps into Mason, she is nearly bowled over by an exceedingly graphic image of the Wolf doing the horizontal mambo with, what appears to be, her best friend, Elena.

How’d YOU like to watch your best friend “do it?”

So, to show her Bestie just how “loyal” she is, Bonnie gets the brilliant (and by “brilliant” I mean “random and bizarre”) idea to rat Elena out to Stefan, who’s guts Bonnie just so happens to hate.

Fortunately, for Elena, Stefan immediately realizes that the vision Bonnie viewed in Mason’s head was NOT of Elena boinking the wolf, but of Katherine . . .

“You mean my EVIL GENIUS plan to break you two lovebirds up didn’t work?  Dammit!”

After a brief powwow, the Salvatore Detective Agency approach Bonnie and ask for her help.

Specifically, they want Bonnie to give Mason one of her trademark MASSIVE HEADACHES, in order to convince him to give up information about the Moonstone’s location.  Though initially skeptical of the plan, Bonnie ultimately agrees to help.  So, while Mason is incapacitated by a massive migraine, Salvatore Squared use the opportunity to knock him unsconscious, shove him their car, and drive him to La Casa de Rich and Awesome for an intense session of torture interrogation.

At “La Casa,” Bonnie does one of her Jedi Mind Tricks on an unconscious Mason, and finds out that he hid the Moonstone in that Aforementioned Very Special Place. 

Again, I mean . . .THE WELL!  (Will you stop it!)

Bonnie then texts that information to Stefan, who double times it there with Elena. 

After an awkward exchange, “former friends” Bonnie and Caroline decide to head to the well too, “just in case” Elena and Stefan need help . . .

“Hey, Judgy,” Damon calls after Bonnie, as she leaves the house.  “Thank you!”

(And that was the moment that all Bamon shippers simultaneously cheered the fact that Damon FINALLY has a pet name for Bonnie, which doesn’t include the word “witch” or anything that rhymes with it . . .)

All’s Well that Ends . . . Kinda Bloody and Gross

As Elena looks on nervously, Stefan lowers himself into the well.  He’s down there for all of a minute, when the vamp starts screaming like a little girl.  It turns out, Mason distrusted his “lover” Katherine, with his balls Family Jewels SO MUCH, that he filled the whole darn well with vervain!

Not a moment too soon, Bonnie and Caroline come to Elena’s rescue . . .

Quickly, the girls attach Elena to the well’s pulley system, and lower her into the well.  There she finds a VERY GORY looking Stefan, and sends him back up to land via pulley.  Now alone in the well, Elena finds a box containing Mason’s Family Jewels . . .

. . .  too bad it is covered in SNAKES!

All three girls scream like . . . well . . . like girls . .  . as they lift Elena to the surface, just seconds before she is turned into snake food.  Then, as a blood thirsty Caroline turns her head, and Bonnie looks on in horror, Elena cures Stefan’s ailments, once again, by feeding her his blood.

Farewell to Wolfy

While Stefan is busy slurping some Tasty Elena Soup, Damon and Jeremy are at La Casa playing Good Cop / Bad Cop (Bet you can’t guess, who’s who?) with a now conscious, but still chained-to-a-chair Mason.

That’s one HOT BAD Cop!

So, Damon starts poking Mason with his HUGE HARD, and VERY WARM stick, while peppering him with questions about Katherine and her true motives behind wanting the Moonstone.  Unfortunately, all that prodding only turns Mason on . . .

“Hit me Baby.  One more Time!”

 It doesn’t actually convince him to talk.  Fortunately, Scrappy Doo Jeremy has brought along wolfsbane, which is, apparently, the werewolf equivalent of vervain.  (Who said The Vampire Diaries isn’t educational?) 

So, Damon shoves the stuff down the poor dog’s throat.

“STOP!  You are ruining my DIET!  Wolfsbane is SO FATTENING!  What will become of my girlish figure?”

Ultimately, it is not the Big STICK, but the BIG PLANT that finally gets Mason to talk.  The problem is, for all his bluster, the Dude actually has VERY LITTLE to say.  He genuinely loves Katherine!  And he only wanted the Moonstone because SHE told him, it would free him of the werewolf curse. 

“Now, I get it!  You’re just STUPID!”  Damon exclaims.

DING!  DING!  DING!  That’s right, Damon!  Vanna, tell him what he’s won . .

“What can I say?  I’m a fool for love!  (I also have really nice abs . . .)”

Having finally convinced himself, that he had gotten all the information he could get out of Mason, Damon “benevolently” tells Jeremy that the little guy’s work for the Salvatore  Detective  Agency has been completed.   He can go home now

.  But Jeremy doesn’t want to go home.  He wants to stay and make sure Damon doesn’t convert “Stupid Mason” into doggie kibble.

Damon’s not too keen on insubordination amongst his employees.  And so, he gently reminds Jeremy what is expected of him . . .

“SERIOUSLY?  I can’t have ONE single episode, where I don’t get my ass kicked?  Just ONE!  That’s all I ask  . .”

“Suck it up or LEAVE!” Damon tells Jeremy, in no uncertain terms.

And . . . since Mini Gilbert has never been much of a SUCKER . . . he chooses the latter . . .

With Mini Gilbert gone, Damon turns his attention back to a now very frightened Mason.  “I look at you, and I see myself . . . only less dashing, and less intelligent,” Damon explains cordially.

Truer words were never spoken . . .

“I love her,” Mason wimpers pathetically. 

Damon’s face softens.  For a single moment, he looks at his captive, with pity and understanding.  “I’ve been where you are.  Katherine will rip your heart out.”

“Let me do it for her,” he concludes.

And then . . . Damon STABS MASON IN THE HEART, KILLING HIM, before wrapping him in a fancy Oriental Rug, like a Pig-in-a-Blanket . . . or, rather . . . a BIG FAT HOT DOG.

Who said romance was dead?

Thrilled with the rush of his kill, and high on vengeance, Damon then makes a decision he will literally regret forever.  (You see, that’s one of the downsides of immortality.  A complete inability to EVER escape from yourself.) 

After texting Tyler’s Mom from Mason’s phone, to explain Mason’s upcoming ETERNAL absence, Damon can’t resist calling up Katherine to gloat about her now-dead boyfriend.  As can be expected, Katherine does NOT take losing well . . .

“Awwww MAN!  Why didn’t I get to kill Old Yeller Mason ?  No FAIR!”

Yet, despite her OBVIOUS ire, Katherine manages to keep her cool on the phone.  “Do you honestly think I don’t have a Plan B?”  She inquires cooly.  “Send my love to Stefan,”  Katherine concludes, before hanging up the phone.

“We are SO screwed . . .”

While Damon and Stefan are fretting over Katherine’s cryptic words, Caroline is back in the dungeon, excitedly recounting for her mother, her recent adventures in “Well Rescue.”  To Caroline’s complete surprise, her mother TOTALLY shares in her excitement, fanginess and all.

“You’ve become such a strong and confident person,” says Liz Forbes, paying her daughter the first compliment the two have exchanged, since the series began.  “You don’t have to take my memories away.  Just tell them you compelled me . . . You can trust me.”

“I know I can trust you,” says Caroline tearfully.  “But you will never be able to trust them [Stefan and Damon],” she concludes.

Realizing that the vervain has now completely left her mother’s system, Caroline begins to compel her mother to forget the past few days, and believe, instead, that she has spent them home with the flu.  “And then everything went back to normal.  And I started to ignore you again,” finishes Caroline, thereby erasing ALL of the progress these two had made in their relationship throughout this ordeal.

Kind of sucks, right?

On a positive note, Caroline’s complete loyalty to Stefan and Damon show’s a good deal of growth and self-sacrifice, on her part.  Additionally, Caroline’s ability to bond with her mother, even for just a short while, demonstrates a maturity in Caroline we haven’t seen up to this point.  She’s going to be OK, that Baby Vamp!

Vampire Katherine’s Revenge

“I’ll get you my pretty, and you’re Useless Aunt Jenna TOO!”

Elena returns home to find Alaric and Useless Aunt Jenna still preparing dinner.  Elena relays her busy day to Alaric, while Jenna chats to SOMEONE on the phone.  Jenna then absentmindedly hands Elena the telephone, and walks away.

In that special sing-song voice utilized by all Super Villains when they are monologuing about their dastardly deeds, Katherine begins to explain to Elena how she KNOWS about her “fake breakup” with Stefan.  (And, honestly, who did those two think they were fooling?  They couldn’t even trick moronic Aunt Jenna into thinking they were broken up, for crying out loud!)

Speaking of Useless Aunt Jenna . . .  I’m about to feel momentarily guilty about ranking on her during all these episodes .  . .but . . .only momentarily  . .. of course.  I suspect I’ll be over it, by next week .  . . maybe earlier

You see, not only did Katherine realize what Elena was doing with Stefan, she also figured out that Elena was protecting her Aunt, by putting vervain in her perfume and her tea.  So Katherine, posing as Elena, convinced Aunt Jenna not to use all that “protection stuff,” thus making the woman her unwitting slave.

Sure enough, Elena twirls around to find Aunt Jenna stabbing herself in the chest with a carving knife.

Breakdowns and Breakups

I know this is probably an inappropriate time to bring this up, but  . . . Is it just me, or is Mini Gilbert looking ALL KINDS of hot, lately?

At the hospital, Jeremy comforts an inconsolate Elena, who feels completely responsible for what happened to Aunt Jenna.  (Auntie’s fine by the way . . . At least, for now.)  “It’s going to be OK,” Jeremy whispers in his Big Sister’s ear sweetly. 

“No . . . It’s not,” she says dejectedly.

“I don’t know how, but she is going to pay,” responds Mini Gilbert, with determination.


Upon leaving the hospital, a still tearful Elena heads directly to La Casa de Rich and Awesome.  There, she finds Stefan, shaking and quietly crying by the fireplace. 

(By the way, kudos to both Nina and Paul for a remarkable job, on what was undoubtedly an extremely difficult scene.)


“Stefan, I’m so sorry,” whispers Elena, her face red and raw from crying.  “We were stupid sneaking around.  We did this.  Jenna is in the hospital.  Jeremy can be next.  This is because we didn’t listen to her.”

Stefan is full-on crying now.  “I know what you’re going to say,” he says softly.  “Please, don’t say it.”

“I’ve been so selfish, because I love you so much.  It’s over.  It has to be,” concludes Elena, before running from the room.

A distraught Damon stops Elena at the door. 

 Of course, Damon loves Elena.  Of course, he wants to be with her.  But, like many of us staunch Damon and Elena fans watching at home, Damon didn’t want this.   For things to end between Stefan and Elena, in this way, seems crueler somehow, than if they betrayed one another, or simply fell out of love.  Because this is the type of heartbreak you don’t move on from.  

And Damon . . . well . . . he feels partly responsible for what happened to his brother, and the woman of his dreams.

“When I rang Katherine up . . . I didn’t think that,” he fumbles, uncertain of how to continue.

“Damon, she won.  Katherine won,” replies Elena sadly, before closing the door.

Katherine’s Plan B

In a shocking final twist, we learn that Katherine needs a werewolf to make use of the Moonstone in the way she sees fit.  And so, without Mason as her pawn, Katherine is required to find another prospective werewolf to help complete her plan.  And that werewolf will be THIS GUY . . .

You guessed it . . . it’s Tyler.  But in order for Tyler to become a werewolf, he’s gotta commit murder.  And if Katherine has her way, he will kill . . . Big Ole Blue Eyes himself, Matt.

In the final moments of the episode, we see Katherine compelling a glazey eyed Matt (just as Damon compelled that now-dead Connor guy, and Katherine,  compelled that Carrot Top guy, before him) to pick a fight with Tyler, and not to back down until Tyler kills him.

First Aunt Jenna, now Matt . . . Oh my!

In most places, being clueless is a liability.   But, apparently, in Mystic Falls, it can be DEADLY . . .



Filed under The Vampire Diaries

11 responses to “Never Cry Werewolf – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “Plan B”

  1. Lynn

    But… BUT… didn’t Stefan say a couple of episodes ago that he would get Matt on vervain, and wouldn’t that stop Katherine from compelling him??
    LOVE your blog by the way 🙂

    • Hi Lynn! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! You have a good memory! I do vaguely remember Stefan saying something to Caroline about getting Matt on vervain . . . in the “Bad Moon Rising” episode, perhaps?

      Yet, Matt definitely ACTED compelled in that last scene. And he wouldn’t have known to pretend, unless someone clued him off to the supernatural world, which, so far, he seems to have been left in the dark about. So, that means one of a few things happened (1) Stefan never got around to slipping Matt the vervain; (2) Stefan DID slip Matt the vervain, but, just like with Aunt Jenna, Katherine, posing as Elena, convinced him not to take it; or (3) Katherine’s new resistance to vervain means she can compel ANYONE, even those on vervain. The third option would be particularly interesting, because it would mean that Katherine could compel JEREMY or even ELENA!

      Ooh! Good thinking on your part, Lynn! The possibilities really are endless here. I can’t wait for next week! 🙂

  2. Cherie

    OK, I’m going to lay down the gauntlet and say this was the best. damn. episode of Season Two so far! I was so slayed with OMGTVD moments that I barely know how to pull all my thoughts about the episode together – they’ve scattered, regrouped, and scattered again every time I’ve sat down to write a response to this blog post.

    So, how about I start with someone who is “my life, my love, my lasagne” (don’t ask me – this little term of endearment was used in a poem I read recently and has begged to be used by me ever since!) from TVD universe … DAMON!

    How creepily hot was Damon’s torture scene with Mason? Ian does crazy eyes better than anyone, and let me assure you, I would LOVE to be locked up in a padded cell with him to help him work out his issues!!!

    One little touch I absolutely adored was him Blackberrying Tyler’s Mom, posing as Mason to explain his sudden disappearance. I like to think that Damon has a stack of victim’s smartphones that he sends out messages from every now and then to keep up a decent cover story. For example,”Hi Jenna! Diddling every girl I can find up and down the East Coast, wish you were here! XOXO ScumFell.”

    It was nice to see Damon acknowledge his fatal error in provoking Katherine with a gloating phone call, although I’m glad that Elena knew that ultimately the blame didn’t rest with him and it was only a matter of time before Katherine struck. I think his phone call was driven by irrational jealousy that still lingers under the surface when he found out Katherine was paying lip service to Mason in more ways than one – his “Wrong Boy-Toy!” comment reads as nonchalant, but I think hints at his hurt at being merely one in a long line of men used and abused by Miss Kat.

    God, Kat is a naughty minx, isn’t she? Loved that Kat finally put her money where her mouth is and stopped moustache twirling and villainess sing-songing to actually do some damage. Now I am scared as hell of her!

    I totally “awwww-ed” at the Scrappy Doo reference. Mini Gilbert is definitely playing that role in TVD’s Scooby Gang! He is becoming scorchingly hot now that he no longer has a yeti imitating his hair, and am happy to be reminded of that fact, inappropriate or no. Tyler’s hot little lover INDEED.

    The Aztec Curse, which I admit seemed a bit snoozeworthy to me in the earlier road trip episode this season, is now becoming a bit more intriguing. It spoke of the moons and SUNS as being curses to supernatural creatures, so I wonder if the moonstone could help lift the curse of sunlight killing vamps, thus releasing Kat of her dependence on her bewitched jewellery?

    Final word should go to the phenomenal job Paul Wesley did in the break up scene. He was able to convey the raw pain of losing Elena without lapsing into Sookie ugly crying face – in fact, he has hardly appeared manlier and hotter to me than during this scene. My cold, cold heart grew three sizes watching this scene, and as an ardent Delena shipper, it says something when I didn’t want Stelena to end on these terms. There was a finality and thus power to this scene that I hope isn’t reduced by Stefan and Elena getting back together within a couple of episodes. Having said that, they are fools to believe Katherine isn’t going to come for them regardless, and I truly think they should have maintained a united front.

    I’ll admit, I don’t want Damon and Elena to be romantically involved as a result of this break up. I want Elena to choose to be with him when there are no external forces responsible for her being single and available. Stefan and Kat, on the other hand, had better engage in twisted hot sexytimes pronto!

    • First, let me say that this blog comment was full of PURE WIN! Your analyses never fail to make me smile and giggle, Cherie!

      Hmmm . . . best Season 2 episode? As a Delena fan, I’m going to have to stick with “Bad Moon Rising” as my favorite, for all the juicy, sexually tense, phallic symbol-filled, personal space invaded, hotness going on there. But, I would definitely rank this one as a close second . . .

      I LOVED Crazy Damon in this episode! I swear, that boy was BORN to be screencapped, with those beautiful big mesmeric eyes that draw you in, even when they look like they belong to a Psycho Serial Killer (which, to some extent, they do). That Weenie Wolf Cub didn’t stand a chance! By the way, did you notice some very S&M-esque similarities between Damon’s “tie-up and torture” of Mason here, and Stefan’s “tie-up and torture” of Katherine in “Memory Lane?” I guess there really is something to that saying that, “The family that slays together, stays together.”

      Haha, yes! Kudos to the writers of this show, for tying up the loose end that was Tyler’s Mom and her inevitable curiosity regarding Mason’s disappearance. (Texting sure beats having to compel everyone to forget a dead person’s existence. Way more efficient!) Now, all Damon’s got to worry about is Tyler’s Mom calling back and saying, “WTF Mason! You TEXTED your goodbye? A simple phone message would be nice, Uncle A-hole!”)

      LOL Scumfell! Very nice Douchey Logan, reference, Cherie! I almost forgot about that guy . . .

      Damon definitely broke my heart with his choked-up “I didn’t think . . .” line to Elena at the end of the episode. That apology (along with the realization of the error of his ways that preceded it), was a big step for Damon. Especially since, if I recall correctly, he’s never actually apologized to Elena for killing her little brother. Baby steps . . .

      And you are right, Damon’s “Wrong Boy Toy” line definitely smelled a bit of “Bad Boy Scorned.”

      Katherine really did a number on our Scooby Gang this week, didn’t she? I presume she expected Aunt Jenna to survive her faux suicide attempt. (I even suspect that was why she compelled Aunt Jenna to invite Stefan to dinner that night, so he would be there to witness, and, perhaps, stop it.) And yet, the fact that Katherine would go as far as to ATTEMPT to kill Elena’s and Jeremy’s SOLE guardian (Who’s left after her, Creepy Uncle / Father John?), says volumes about just how truly evil she really is. She makes every other “Big Bad” that has been on this show so far, look like a pussy cat . . . Hidey Hole Vamps? Puh LEASE!

      “no longer has that yeti imitating his hair” – LOL – Poor Jeremy! When he’s not getting beaten up, or having his lovers die, Scrappy Doo is, apparently, busy battling mythical creatures that inconveniently lodge themselves on top of his skull. He does seem to get increasingly hotter with each episode, however. *Thanks the stars above that Steven R. McQueen is of legal drinking age, so I don’t feel like a TOTAL PERV for crushing on him*

      You are right! Paul Wesley did an amazing job with his breakup scene! Is it possible that we have found the one actor on the planet that actually looks MORE attractive when he cries? What made the scene so heartbreaking was how understated it was. No scrunched face or clenched fist. No yelling or fighting, No, “Don’t do it, Elena” whiny words from Stefan – just two people who love one another, saying goodbye. Given my obvious shipper leanings, it definitely affected me much more than I expected it would . . .

      I read a bunch of message board posts, in which Delena fans, like us, seemed positively THRILLED with the S/E breakup. These fans seemed to feel that this turn of events would immediately pave the way for D/E. At first, I didn’t really understand their happiness. I just couldn’t see either Damon or Elena making a move on one another, under these circumstances – not when feelings were still so raw and unresolved on Elena’s part.

      And yet . . . those you Dawson’s Creek fans out there may recall that circumstances JUST LIKE THESE were EXACTLY what paved the way for PACEY AND JOEY to hook up, back in Season 3 (which, by the way, was, BY FAR the show’s best, Kevin Williamson – hint, hint, wink).

      For those of you who didn’t watch, or don’t remember, Dawson and Joey broke up near the end of Season 2 (YAY!) because Joey needed to “find herself” and Dawson was “being a whiny brat.” D and J still “loved” eachother, of course. However, they knew they were bad for one another, at the time. So, Dawson, being a moron (Thank goodness for morons!) asks his Bestie Pacey to “keep an eye out for Joey” and “make sure she’s OK.” Well . . . Pacey DID keep an eye out for Joey . . . he also kept out a heart, and a pair of lips, some abs, a cute butt . . . and well, you get the idea. So, maybe our fellow Delena fans are right! Maybe this will pave the way for a genuine D/E relationship. Who knows?

      All I know is that I can’t wait for Thursday! Masquerade is going to be INSANE! 🙂

  3. Lynn

    Ooooh, I don’t think I could take a Katherine who would be able to compel people Even if they were on vervain! The evilness would just be too much. But I don’t think she can, otherwise why bother getting Useless Aunt Jenna off it? Poor Matt was probably kicked out of the vervain loop when Caroline decided she couldn’t be with him, *sob*.
    Hoping and praying he will survive his upcoming fight though (and that Elena will find a hot and sexy shoulder to cry on in Damon, is that too much to ask??)

  4. imaginarymen

    Oh dear lord this show is so freakin’ awesome! I mean COME ON!!!!!!

    Since my stupid DVR crapped out and didn’t tape TVD for the FIRST TIME EVER last week, I had to DL from iTunes. And let me tell you, my mom and I are now buying a season pass and watching on-line bc not only is the picture in HD unlike my crappy CW, but there is not NEARLY as much loud f’ing music blasting over the dialogue. It was really cool (plus the laptop hooks up to the TV so big HD Salvatore Brothers = WIN WIN)

    Ummm…is it me or are they reading your blog? Bloodaholic Stefan? Judgy Bonnie? Did they say that before and you picked it up? Or you said it and they’re watching ;-00 Either way it made me go “hey Julie!!”

    My random thoughts:

    Jeremy = HOTNESS. Love that he’s the JV member of the Salvatore Detective Agency.

    Cannot BELIEVE they killed Mason, seriously, cannot believe that. Not that I’ll miss him – he was a total dope.

    Useless Aunt Jenna for the WIN!! I screamed and jumped up at that yelling “HOLY SH*T!!!” This show is insane. That was the most interesting thing Useless Aunt Jenna has EVER done!! (also skeeved out by the letting-her-niece-have-loud-sex-with-her-boyfriend-in-the-house-then-talking-to-boyfriend-about-it — UNLESS Katherine TOLD Aunt Jenna that in her little hypnotic state? Let’s hope so bc EWW!)

    Love Baby Vamp Caroline and all the girls having to kick ass and save boys. But can’t she just compel her mom to have a good relationship w/ her? Why So Stefan-tortured-soul about it?

    Ohhhhh noooooo Matt!! Not Matt! He’s boring but nice and cute – BOOOO!

    Cannot wait for yet ANOTHER Mystic Falls Event!! Does anyone ever work or go to school there? Or just get ready for parties, cotillions, fairs and celebrations (and then have dramatic things happen there?) It’s worse than the OC, bitch!

    I seriously love the Salvatore Brothers Detective Agency – I love their little meetings and their nonchalance about “oh, another body to dispose of!” I love when Stefan tries to keep Damon in line and Damon just scoffs and does whatever the hell he wants. LOVE THEM! Also in the love column this week – Damon’s hair looking better and Stefan’s white-t/button-up shirt combo. In the dislike: WHY ARE THEY NOT TANK TOPPED OR SHIRTLESS YET??!?!?????

    Damon was so exquisitely amazing this ep I don’t even have the words. IS played every note pitch perfect: conniving, cruel, funny, furious, curious, dangerous, victorious, jealous and sad. It was a real showcase for him IMO. I mean, a guy who can get you to giggle while he’s TORTURING someone, has to have a talent! (also the casual but pointed knee to Mason’s face made me LMAO bc apparently I’m a sadist 😉

    Also shocked Elena and Stefan really broke up. Who is he going to suck on now for his little “experiment”?

    I wish you could have heard my mom tonight!:

    “This girl is having sex with him, this girl is having sex with him! WHY is no one having sex with Damon!??! What is WRONG WITH THESE GIRLS??!!”

    Me: WHY does Stefan have his shirt on in bed??
    Her: Because I’m watching, ever since I started they keep their shirts on, they don’t want to scandalize me!
    Me: Stop ruining my show! TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRTS DAMMIT!

    Me: A season pass is $50
    Her: I’ll give you $25. The music isn’t so damn loud and I can see Damon better

    And my personal favorite during the Caroline and her mom scenes:

    “If you were a vampire, I’d never shun you”

    BWAH!!!! My mom needs her own vlog of her watching TVD and making her hilarious comments. Next week is gonna be, as “the kids” say – off the hook!!

    • YAY! You finally got to watch Plan B! Never do this to me again, Miss Amy! 🙂 I’ve just been DYING to talk to TVD with you, and have been trying SO HARD not to do so, because I am NOTORIOUS for spoiling plots for people. (BTW, because I have STUPID Cablevision –a.k.a NO FOX until further notice — it looks like I’m going to be a day late watching Glee . . . so I can definitely feel the pain you felt this past week.)

      I know I always say this but, “If you were a vampire, I’d never shun you,” would be the BEST T-Shirt EVER! I seriously want to video chat with you and your mom, next time you watch TVD, so I can hear all the hilarious tidbits you exchange. Seriously, have you guys ever considered doing a YouTube vid? I bet Ian would watch it . . . Remember when he tweeted that fan video, after the Season 1 finale. He’d TOTALLY do that for you and your mom!

      Thanks for noticing the Bloodaholic and Judgy references *blushes.* I swear, the minute Damon starts making references to the Salvatore Detective Agency, you and I are SO applying to Kevin Williamson for jobs on the writing staff. (I do sometimes wonder if the writing staff / actors on TVD read the recaps / message boards about the show. Though I doubt they’d find MINE, specifically, it is fun to wonder . . .)

      I love that you guys got a Season Pass to the show on ITunes! I’ve been contemplating doing the same thing, if only so that I can start making Delena fan vids :). For whatever reason, I’ve always wanted to do that . . . My laptop has a MovieMaker just itching to be used . . .

      Yep . . . Useless Aunt Jenna and Partially Useless Matt became significantly LESS useless this week. I wonder if that means they are about to die . . . I kind of feel like the writers should keep Matt around, because there is more they can do with the character that they haven’t done yet. Then again, I felt that way about Anna . . . and Lexie . . . and even Vicki . . . So, who knows. 🙂

      Why HAS Damon been wearing so much CLOTHING this season? I distinctly remember Julie Plec and Ian Somerhalder mentioning in interviews that Damon would be shirtless A LOT. So, what gives? Maybe they are saving all the shirtless stuff for the NEXT few episodes. Here’s hoping . . .

      Hey . . . you know . . . there WAS talk of Katherine “ripping the masks off” Damon and Stefan, during this upcoming episode. Maybe she will rip off the REST right along with it, if you catch my drift 😉

      This reply would be longer, but I wrote TWO recaps tonight, and I am totally analyzed out. We’ll chat soon, I’m sure!

    • Cherie

      Amy, I think I may have the answer to your question about what blood source Stefan will use in light of his break up with Elena.

      Damon could feed his brother a spoonful of blood every morning as a twisted bonding ritual – I mean, he always seems to have 7L of soccer mum lying around, and by doling out a spoonful at a time, Damon could control his brother’s temptation to binge. Imagine the possibilities for a moment, if you will… Damon, snarky as ever, making “helicopter” sounds as he moves the spoon into Stefan’s general vicinity. Stefan grabbing the spoon in response and stabbing its handle in Damon’s gut, thus FINALLY giving Damon a reason to remove his shirt. Damon, “shopping” (i.e. stalking blood banks) for blood (wonder what the blood equivalent for strained broccoli or other baby foods would be – after all, Stefan is an infant to drinking blood after all these years of abstaining and has to re-learn the process). Stefan acquiring a taste for blood recipes that would make Talbot turn green with envy…

      • LOL! That was hilarious, disturbing, and oddly sexy all at the same time! (Writers take note! This would be a great excuse to offer fans a Shirtless Damon, something we have been SORELY lacking since Episode 1 of this season . . . and, if we want to get technical, even THAT was a “ripped shirt” not a “shirt off.”)

        I love your discussion of “Blood Shopping!” If TVD was a sitcom, I can totally picture a scene, where Damon goes to Blood Mart. Picture our favorite Bad Boy Vamp leisurely strolling the aisles with his little red shopping cart, as elevator music plays in the background. He then dilligently reads the nutritional labels on the back of various blood bags, to find the one most suitable for “Born Again” Baby Blood Drinker Stefan. (As for Damon, I imagine he’s partial to the blood of sorority girls and super models, “less filling, more flavor.” ;))

  5. I’m a little late on this episode, but had to comment on your hilarious recap. I too thought this episode would be low key except for one major plot point that would lead into the next episode. Nope. Super angsty and exciting. My theory regarding compelled Matt is that they stopped giving him vervain once he and Caroline stopped dating. Foolish, but what else is new. Oh, and I started posting my Vampire Diaries recaps here:

    • I think you are right about the point at which the Salvatore Brothers stopped treating Matt with vervain. That’s the thing about the Salvatore Detective Agency. They kick ass at finding out supernatural secrets and . . . well . . . kicking ass. But their body-guarding / human protecting abilities still leave a lot to be desired. (See e.g. Aunt Jenna)

      Can’t wait to check out your new blog!

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