Judge Not, Lest GLEE be Judged! – A Recap of Glee’s “The Funeral”

WILL:  “Just so you know, I’m not wearing any pants under here . . .”

Nothing says “glee-ful,” like a funeral, right?  This week, Fox’s most peppy prime time program, took a turn for the teary, when it focused on the untimely death of the most beloved relative of McKinley High’s LEAST beloved coach . . .

Oops!  I don’t think she liked that remark.

And yet, the episode wasn’t an ENTIRE cryfest.  We also got to experience, a few tour de force musical numbers, a sentimental tribute to Will Schuester’s impressive sweater vest collection . . .

Hopefully, now that he’s given all of his clothing away, we’ll get to see more of THIS Mr. Schue . . .

 . . . and, perhaps, most importantly, we got to watch Jesse St. James metaphorically make breakfast on the heads of all the Glee club members that AREN’T Rachel Berry . . .

“I already got MINE, guys!  Now it’s your turn!”

So, wipe that egg off your face, and keep some Kleenex on hand for a good cry, because it’s time for your weekly Gleecap!

New Directions, New Villains and Zombies Who Like to Poop . . .

Any guesses as to how many innocent bottles of hairstyling gel were harmed in the making of this photo still?

It’s almost time for Nationals, Gleeks!  And you know what that means!  It’s time for the Glee kids to fight with one another over who gets a solo!  (YAY!) 

For reasons that completely defy the imagination, Will decides to use his perpetually miniscule budget to hire a “show choir consultant” to help New Directions succeed in its upcoming competition.  And who better for the job, then the college dropout, who broke Rachel’s heart, and completely screwed over the club last year, by pretending to be one of its members, and ditching them at the very last minute, to sing for the enemy?

How could you not trust THIS face?

That’s right, boys and girls!  It’s Jesse St. Jack Ass, reporting for duty!  And if he wasn’t so friggin hot, I’m sure I’d have lots more bad stuff to say about him . . .

Jesse informs Will and Will mindlessly agrees, because he apparently packed his brain and soul in the same box as his sweater vests that the ONLY way for New Directions to win Nationals, is if they focus their entire performance around the club’s “best” singer.  In Jesse’s defense, this DOES seem to be the strategy most commonly employed by McKinley High’s most formidable opponents.  Take, for example, Vocal Adrenaline . . .

. . . and, of course, who could forget, The Warblers . . .

Of course, Finn, the humble soul that he is, suggests that he and Rachel lead the club in a duet.  At which point Quinn (who would rather give birth to another illegitamate child, than see Rachel and her boyfriend eye f*&king eachother on stage) “kindly” reminds her “honey” that this was precisely the strategy that lost New Directions the Regional competition to Vocal Adrenaline last year.

“Don’t make me go all Lucy Caboosey on your ass!”

Adding insult to injury is St. Jackass, who tells Finn that the latter is not particularly talented at singing OR dancing.  Oh, also, according to Jesse, when Finn performs, he looks like a “zombie who likes to poop.”  This, of course, begs the question of what, exactly, a “Pooping Zombie” looks like . . .  I’m going to guess that it looks something like this . . .

 

 . . . combined with THIS .  . .

 . . . and mixed with a little of THIS . . .

(Mean or not . . . you’ve got to admit, the Jackass has a point) . . .

So, Will decides to hold “auditions” for his Glee kids to determine which of them gets to be the New Directions’ equivalent of Blaine Warbler . . .

So . . . pretty . . . cannot . . . look . . . away.

Try a Lack of Tenderness . . .

“The competition is ON, like Donkey Kong!”

Under normal circumstances, I suspect that the ENTIRE Glee club would have auditioned for the solo role at Nationals.  However, since Finn was busy perfecting his Defecating Dead Guy Face . . .

 . . . and since half of the episode was spent on Sue’s storyline the rest of the cast was . . . ummmm . . . washing their hair that day, the only ones who actually auditioned for the spot were Rachel (SURPRISE!), Kurt (SHOCKER!), Santana, and Mercedes . . .

  First up was Santana, who sang Amy Winehouse’s “Back to Black.”

Her performance was pretty darn awesome.  And the fact that she did it stone cold SOBER unlike the REAL Amy Winehouse was majorly impressive.  She was also wearing an adorable outfit during her performance, which certainly doesn’t hurt (See above – I WANT THIS!).  Though, I must say, given Santana’s usual “take no prisoners” personality, I was a bit disappointed that when singing the line, “He kept his _______ wet,” she replaced the word “dick” with the, significantly less naughty (and, therefore, much less fun), “lips.”

What exactly do you have against ‘dicks’, Santana?” 😉

You can check out Santana’s entire performance, by clicking the internal link below . . .

Though Will thought this performance was “fabulous,” Jesse was underwhelmed, claiming that Santana missed the “emotion of the song.”  Personally, I think Jesse was just offended by the lack of “dick” in the number.  Think I’m exaggerating?  Then explain this to me:  Why did Jesse draw a picture of a puss . . . er . . . I mean . . . a cat, in his notepad, while Santana was singing? 

What’s new, Pussy Cat? 

Let that be a lesson to you, Santana:  Censorship is BAD!

Next up was Kurt.  He sang “Some People” from the Broadway Play Gypsy.  And it was. . . well . . . very . . . KURT-y.  That’s probably the best way to describe it . . .

I think part of the problem with the performance for me, was that my mind kept wandering during it.  I kept getting distracted by those bizarre skull and crossbone flare pants Kurt wore on stage, coupled with hisweird “tied in the back like a paint smock” vest.  Seriously, who DRESSES this kid?  Edward Scissorhands?

One thing that can be said for Kurt though, he is VERY FLEXIBLE!  Check out this move he managed to do, at the end of the musical number . . .

Blaine APPROVES!

But you know who DOESN’T approve of Kurt?  Jesse!  He wonders if Kurt is aware that “Some People” is a “Girl Song.”  “I make my living singing “Girl Songs” Kurt explains.  Point well taken, Kurt.  But that still doesn’t explain those ridiculous pants . . .

You can check out Kurt’s performance by clicking on the link below:

Third up was Mercedes.  She sang Otis Redding’s “Try a Little Tenderness,” which, if you are an afficionado of cheesy 80’s movies like me, you will remember as the song Jon Cryer’s Duckie absolutely KILLED (in a good way), during the film, Pretty in Pink . . .

If Santana’s and Kurt’s performances were good, Mercedes was AMAZING!  (Though, admittedly, her dancing abilities are nowhere near up to par with those of the Duckster!)  Even Jesse St. Jackass let out a “WOW,” when Mercedes belted out the song’s extremely challenging refrain.

This one is going on my ipod, FOR SURE!  You can check the performance out, for yourself, below . . .

And yet, despite being obviously impressed by Mercedes vocal range, Saint Jackass still had little nice to say about McKinley High’s most unapologetic diva.  He even went as far as to call the poor girl, of all things . . . LAZY!

Source

After Mercedes kindly offered to allow Jesse to “taste her fist,” Rachel took the stage with, you guessed it, her 85,000th Barbra Streisand song.

Now, I know . . . “Babs” is supposed to be Rachel’s “idol” and all . . . but COME ON!  Enough is enough!  There ARE other singers on this planet besides Barbra, that sing ballads, you know!

Anyway, Rachel sang a song called “My Man.”  Believe it or not, I had actually never heard the song, before the episode aired.  And I don’t particularly want to hear it again. 

Performance-wise, Rachel, as usual, did a fine job . . . well . . . except for two things: (1) she kept picturing Finn throughout the number, which was . . . nauseating annoying, to say the least; and (2) she made these weird, sort of constipated, facial expressions throughout the number.  Perhaps, Rachel’s Great Love for Finn is starting to make her emote like he does . . .

If you are a Rachel fan, and/or a Barbra Streisand fan, you will definitely want to check out the link below . .  .

You know who’s a HUGE Rachel fan?  Jesse St. Jackass!

OK . . . so, he might not have been such a big fan, back then.  But he’s definitely one now!  And because he really wants to touch Rachel’s Berries admires her work, St. Jackass has absolutely nothing bad at all to say about his ex girlfriend’s performance.  In fact, he thinks the Glee club’s Nationals’ performance should revolve around her . . . again.

Despite Jesse’s endorsement, however, Will ultimately decides that, rather than award ANY ONE GLEE KID a solo, the ENTIRE Glee club will sing original songs TOGETHER at Nationals . . . thereby making this entire audition process a whole load of poo.

“Haha!  Jokes on YOU, Gleeks!”

The audition process wasn’t a TOTAL loss, however.  It DID help Saint Jackass move one step closer to popping Rachel Berry’s cherries!

“Stop staring at my boobs, ya perv!”

Source

In other news . . .

A Farewell to Arms Sweater Vests

Will Schuester, this is your ‘What Not to Wear’ Fasion Intervention.”

So, remember a few weeks back, when April invited Will to be in her lame ass Broadway show with her?  Well, it turns out he’s going!  In doing so, he’s leaving EVERYONE and EVERYTHING behind him, including the Glee kids, Emma, and those HIDEOUS sweater vests.  Of course, Will hasn’t told his students this yet, because we need some sort of cliffhanger in the season finale he doesn’t want to distract them from winning Nationals. 

While at Will’s house helping him pack, Emma tells Will that she remembers the sweater vest he wore when they first met.  I can’t decide whether I think that is really sweet, or incredibly disturbing.  So, the next day, Emma shows up at school WEARING THAT VEST . .  .

Source

(OK .  . . I’ve made my decision, now . . . I’m going to go with “incredibly disturbing.”  Thank you very much.)

Hmmm . . . let’s see, what else happened this week? . . . Oh yeah . . . the funeral.

Pure Imagination

It started like any other episode, with Sue and Terri trying to foil the Glee club’s plans to fly to New York, by rerouting their plane to Libya.  (Libya?  Really?)  But then we learned that Sue had kicked Becky off of the Cheerios.  And things got pretty maudlin, pretty fast . . .

When Will finds out about this, he confronts Sue about her incredible lack of sensitivity.  Sue surprises Will by explaining that she kicked Becky off the Cheerios, because Becky reminds her too much of her older sister, Jean, who died of pneumonia in her sleep the night before.  As is often the case in these type of situations, Sue blames herself for not being there for Jean, during her final moments.

Will informs the Glee kids of Sue’s loss.  And, despite their extremely contentious relationship with the cheerleading coach, the kids arrive at her office, flowers and stuffed animals in hand, to pay their respects . . .

Finn and Kurt, both of whom know personally what it is like to lose a close family member, are particularly sympathetic to Sue, when she explains that she is too emotionally overwrought to sort through Jean’s personal items at the nursing home, or plan her funeral.  So, the pair (who have already planned a FABULOUS wedding for their parents – remember?) commandeer the Glee club to help out an Enemy in Need. 

Upon learning that Jean loved the film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, the Glee kids decorate the funeral home, with the film in mind, adorning Jean’s coffin with extra large lollipops, gumdrops, candycanes, and, of course, Everlasting Gobstoppers. 

Now, no offense to Jean (may she rest in peace), but, am I the only one who finds the Willy Wonka movie POSITIVELY TERRIFYING?  I mean, think about it, this is a story about kids that, as a result of some pretty minor infractions, turned blue and obese, drowned in chocolate, got shrunk to ant size, were attacked by squirrels, and got dropped down loooong trash chutes. 

Just sayin’

Poorly-selected theme aside, the funeral was a truly beautiful one.  It featured, among other things, Sue’s heart-tugging speech about her sister (which Will kindly read for the typically-stone cold educator, when she became too choked up to continue), uplifting videos of the deceased, during happier times . . .

. . . and the Glee kids tear-jerking performance of the song “Pure Imagination,” which was featured in the original film. 

Oddly enough, the event inspired Finn to break up with Quinn, in the parking lot outside the funeral home.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Quinn fan, at all!  And I never particularly cared for Finn and Quinn as a couple.  But SERIOUSLY?  Talk about BAD TIMING!  I mean, how insensitive can you get?

“Are you friggin kidding me, Poopy Zombie?”

Of course, any sympathy I may have had for Quinn was lost, the moment she told Finn that she didn’t mind if he continued to have feelings for Rachel, provided he dated Quinn through next year, so that the pair had another shot of winning Prom King and Queen.

Obviously, a girl who makes THIS kind of request of the boyfriend, who is clearly trying to dump her for SOMEONE ELSE, is either extremely shallow, or has pitifully low self esteem.  (Maybe a little bit of both?)  That being said, Quinn’s emotional exit from the car following the Big Dump, illustrated that the Wanna-Be Prom Queen’s feelings for Finn may, in fact, be deeper than she would like the casual onlooker to believe . . . 

Oh, and she also threatened to do something naughty to Finn at Nationals.  Hmmm . . . I wonder what she’s planning . . .

Hide your bunnies and your balls, Finn!

The question is: now, that Finn has FINALLY made up his mind until he inevitably changes it again, can he win back Rachel, before she falls headfirst into the ass of Jesse St. Jackass?  Do we really care? 

Only time will tell . . .

In other potential Character Redemption News, by way of saying “Thanks for the funeral,”  Sue has decided that she no longer wants to send the Glee kids to their certain deaths in Libya.  (PROGRESS!) She’d much rather . . . run for a seat in the House of Representatives?

You’ve really gotta love a Random Plot Point, like this one!

Oh, and she let Becky back into the Cheerios, even going as far as to offer the loveable teen the position of Captain, for the following year. 

When the tightly-knit pair hugged one another, toward the end of the episode, I must admit, I got a little misty-eyed .  . .

Did I mention that Will’s ridiculously annoying ex Terri (she of the fake pregnancies, and such) is moving to Miami to become manager of the Bed, Bath and Beyond Sheetz n’ Things store, down there? 

Sayonara Sucka!

Or that this SAME woman randomly decided to get the ENTIRE GLEE CLUB first class tickets to New York for Nationals?  (The “Sheetz” in Lima must pay REALLY WELL!)  Yeah . . . I thought it was totally random too. 

But, instead of talking about side characters, who I DON’T care about very much, let’s talk about ones that I actually LIKE . . . who were totally missing from this episode . . .

Where’s the Beiste?

And the Sunshine?

And why the F*&K didn’t PUCK have any lines or shirtless scenes this week?

Next week, is Glee season finale!  (Can you believe this show has been on  for two full seasons already?) In honor of the Big Event, the entire cast will be heading to New York City for the National competition! 

You can check out the promo for this Sure-to-Be-Epic episode HERE:

So, my fellow Gleeks, the time has come for you to make your predictions:  Will New Directions  beat out Sunshine Corazon and her Vocal Adrenaline teammates, this year?  Or are they destined for yet another crushing defeat?  You’ll have to tune in next week, in order to find out.  See ya then!

[www.juliekushner.com]

4 Comments

Filed under Glee

4 responses to “Judge Not, Lest GLEE be Judged! – A Recap of Glee’s “The Funeral”

  1. Eli

    Hi there! Sorry I missed to comment last week’s recap, but I’m with a lot of exams (here May it’s ‘exam time’) and I couldn’t even watch the end of ‘prom queen’ (your recap saved me).

    Well, back to business (?), loved your recap as always.

    I thought the very same thing when Will said he’d hired Jesse as consultant… Come on dude, you were given $400 last week for services and now how much will you pay him?? OH WAIT! Last season they were told that a rule for show choir is that they can not get paid for services!! OMGLEE… talking about no sense… (I loved when Jesse insulted Finn… I love when ANYBODY insults Finn… I hate Finn…)

    I LOVED SANTANA!!!!! GOOOOOOOD I was not the only one that loved her outfit, were I a woman I’d DEFINETLY (did I write it right?) wear that. I love when she sings Amy Winehouse’s songs. It was SO sensual…

    I must admit I’m in love with Kurt & Chris Colfer, I love all his songs and this one became one of my favourites. How can I not love him swaying his butt in the first seconds of the performance? LOL BLAINE APPROVES II ♥
    PD, I couldn’t stop laughing after the scene when JEsse gives his judgement of the song and Kurt keeps an eye contact and leaves the stage without saying a word.. HA!!!

    Mercedes was ok to me, I’d never heard of the song she sang and I love her but well.. Just another performance to me.

    Now Rachel.. It was pretty emotional to me I must say. I hate her loving Finn, I hate Finn, I hate everything about him. But well… One doesn’t choose who to love (the script does).

    Did you notice that everyone sang like a continuation of a previous song they sang?

    For example, Kurt (♥) on Season 1 sang Rose’s TUrn from Gypsy, and on this episode sang Some People also from Gypsy. Santa sang Back to Black and on Good Education (S2) on Regionals she sang Valerie also from Amy WInehouse. Rachel sang My Man from Funny Girl and she’d sung Don’t Rain on my Parade from there at Sectionals on S1. About Mercedes… Mmmm I couldn’t remember anything from Otiswhat’shisname… Although per The Schue her perfo makes him remember her audition :O

    Well, the remaining of the episode was heart-breaking… Sue’s speech… I couldn’t hold a tear… So fine acting on this episode… I love Jane Lynch.

    Oh before I leave a correction must be made! When Will and Emma are choosing what vests to take or toss, Will is the one that recalls that the vest Emma has in her hand it was the one he wore the day he met her, then she sd that he must go on and bla bla bla and then she wore it by the end of the episode; I think it was sweet… Like a message to the schue saying “do you see I love you and I’m going to keep this to remember you?”

    But well… NATIONAAAAAAAAAAALS!!!! YAYYYYY ♫ ♪

    • Hey Eli! I’m glad to hear you are almost through with your exams. For what it’s worth, I am sure you rocked them. 🙂 Thanks so much for taking time away from your studies to stop by and comment! I absolutely love talking Glee with you!

      I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who got pleasure out of watching Jesse insult Finn. After all the crud this guy has pulled with the increasingly unnerving Finn-Quinn-Rachel love triangle, I have to say, Boyfriend kind of had it coming! 🙂 I honestly don’t know what everyone sees in him, especially when REAL men like Puck, Jesse and Blaine are close by!

      I am super impressed with your analysis of the songs that were performed in this episode! It does seem like there are certain TYPES of songs, by certain artists, that appeal to particular Glee clubbers, and emphasize their specific vocal strengths. For example, Santana SHINES when singing the sultry songs of raspy voiced, sassy female artists, like Amy Winehouse, and Adele. Mercedes dominates classic R&B songs with a powerful refrain. Kurt is at his best performing show tunes, with a little humor, and a whole lotta heart. And Rachel . . . well, I guess she’s VERY good at impersonating Barbra.

      Though I prefer my Glee episodes to be a bit more . . um . . . gleeful, I was blown away by Jane Lynch’s performance this week. She definitely broke my heart during Jean’s funeral. And I was glad this storyline gave the actress an opportunity to demonstrate her range as, not just a comedic actress, but a dramatic one, as well.

      That being said, like you, I can’t WAIT for Nationals! Now, THAT”s the kind of peppy, finger-snapping, toe-tapping Glee episode that has my name ALL OVER IT! New Directions for the WIN! 🙂 See you next week!

  2. fauvish

    Hi, lovely recap as always! I do agree with Eli tho: Mr. Schue is the one that recalls the vest. So while Emma is definitely a disturbed woman, she doesn’t remember all his outfits xD

    It was a nice ep. It was nice to see Sue out of the supervillain role, because frankly, it was getting really old. I hope they will utilize Jane Lynch’s talent better than they have for the last couple of episodes (except for this one naturally).

    While I do like Mercedes version of Try a Little Tenderness, a thing that bothers me with her voice is that it always gets shouty at some point. That’s keeping me from loving the song completely, but the beginning of the song was really nice. And I kind of agree with Rachel singing yet another Barbra song. Of course, they are good songs, but it’s just not surprising anymore. I think the What the Buck show on youtube pointed out Lea Michele’s strange (and oddly pornographic) playback/dub face. And once you see it, you can’t “unsee” it. Kurt’s song was nice, but nothing remarkable considering all his other rather similar songs from the past. I think at least once every episode it’s emphasized how great Rachel’s voice is (is that in Lea Michele’s contract, perhaps?), and though I do enjoy it, it’s also kind of old-fashioned. Great for musical numbers, but to me it doesn’t always do justice to the contemporary songs she has sung. I hope you get what I mean. On the other hand, I heard that she’s going to do a duet from Wicked with Kurt, so bring it on ^.^

    I think out of all the voices, I like Santana’s the best. Her voice is nice and raspy (from all the sigars :P) and even when she gets shouty, it doesn’t bother me like it does with Mercedes.

    Finn was very insensitive, I agree. To break up with someone just after a funeral… well I guess tact was never his strong point. I don’t like how he hops from girl to girl. First he only feels fireworks with Quinn, but then he only feels the “connection” with Rachel. I think he should take some time off dating and figure out what he really wants from life, instead of just going after Rachel straight away.

    On a non-related topic, I just saw some promo’s for True Blood season 4. Are you going to recap that? If so, at least I have some recaps to look forward to after TVD and Glee (well, one left) are done.

    • Hey fauvish! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! I agree with you completely about Sue. I’ve been getting extremely tired of the same old “Sue tries to destroy Glee club” storyline. After two seasons of this, it was refreshing to see the character do something different, for a change. I was happy to hear, at the end of the episode, that Sue was going to STOP trying to kill Glee club, and start trying to run for the House of Representatives. Sure, maybe it will be cheesy, but at least it will be NEW. Here’s hoping she actually sticks to her promise.

      I had to giggle about your description of Lea Michele’s face as “oddly pornographic.” She definitely does tend to OVER EMOTE, during the “I’m so sad, I could slit my wrist over a boy,” ballads. Like Sue, Rachel needs a CHANGE . . . in her song style. I’d love to see her try something a bit more happy, and snappy. A little modern pop, certainly wouldn’t hurt.

      And you are right. They do emphasize her “fabulousness” a bit too much. Sure, Lea Michele has an amazing voice. But so does Naya Rivera, Amber Riley, Mark Salling, Chris Coffer, Darren Criss, and Kevin McHale. It shouldn’t be all about Rachel, all the time. (Though, in THIS episode’s defense, I think Jesse St. James was over-emphasizing Rachel’s fabulousness, because he wanted to get inside her “fabulous” panties. ;))

      I’m totally with you about Finn needing to be single for a little while. Being in a relationship definitely seems to bring out the worst in him, whether he’s with Rachel or with Quinn. Here’s hoping the show brings in a few new love interests for our cast members next season. New Directions is definitely getting a bit TOO incestuous for my taste. And I would LOVE it if just ONE Glee club member actually (gasp) dated someone outside the club.

      Though all this might sound negative, I truly do love my Glee. And I have really high hopes for the season finale, as well as the show’s upcoming third season.

      And, yes, I definitely plan on recapping True Blood this summer. So, I look forward to watching that with you! Sookie and Eric, here we come! 🙂

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