“Hello? Is anybody home? Could somebody please turn on the lights? I can’t see anything in here! Now I know how Blind Jenna feels!”
Welcome back, my Pretties! How are you guys doing? Have you been experiencing any aches and pains, lately? Because, if you are, I have some GREAT cream for you to try!
I don’t know about you guys, but I think “A” reached a NEW low this week, at least, in terms of torturing our fabulous foursome. (Whether “A” is, in fact, responsible for Ali and/or Creepy Pedo Ian’s death is another story entirely!) Up until this point, I had always felt that the award for “Most Evil A Moment” belonged to “That Time When He or She RAN HANNA OVER WITH A CAR!”
As HORRIBLE as that was (and it was pretty awful), I would argue that what “A” did to Emily this week was WAY worse! After all, I actually don’t think “A” smushed Hanna’s bottom half with the intent to KILL her. (This is why the injuries she suffered, actually ended up being fairly minor.) Rather, He/She/It merely wanted to scare the girls into silence by presenting a significant physical threat to one of them.
This week, however, by doping Emily’s pain meds with Human Growth Hormone (a.k.a. steroids) “A” was not only messing with Emily’s future as a professional athlete, “A” was messing with her LIFE. Fortunately, Emily ended up only suffering an ulcer. However, with the amount of cream she was using, and the vast amount of potential side effects, the result could have been WAY WORSE!
The stress of this show is going to drive me to drink, I swear!
For shame, “A!” For shame!
Oh, by the way . . . did I mention . . . WREN’S BACK! WREN’S BACK! WREN’S BACK!
Or should I say . . . DOCTOR HOT BUTT BRIT!
So, zip up that Candy Striper’s Uniform, and watch out for the “corpse” walking around with a blanket on its head, because it’s time for another Pretty Little Recap!
“She can’t hear us. She’s BLIND!”
The first few minutes of this episode find our PLL girls huddled together in Spencer’s car, mere minutes after Spencer’s eerie encounter with that nefarious Police Boy Garrett.
As usual, the girls are doing their weekly recap for us, and waiting for Emily, who’s doing something with the alarm system in her house. (Not that alarm systems help any, when Klepto Mike is creeping around.)
Oops! Sorry Aria!
Apparently, Aria gets offended, when you badmouth her bratty thief of a twerpy little brother. Just ask Hanna! Give her a break, Aria! It’s not Hanna’s fault that your brother is so unlikeable, and has such an abnormally large head . . .
Just kidding! But not really . . .
Conveniently, Police Boy Garrett pops up out of nowhere, just seconds after Emily arrives, and makes a beeline toward Jenna’s house. What’s he DOING THERE? F*&king a Blind Girl! What else would he be doing? Hmmm . . . I wonder. Within seconds, the girls are on his tail, just steps behind him. Hanna has big clunky shoes that make her sound like a stallion in heat, when she walks. Spencer wants her to be quiet. But Hanna reminds her that Blind Jenna won’t hear them, because she’s blind.
Yes, Spencer! Your friends really ARE that stupid.
When the girls arrive on the porch they are shocked to find Jenna at the window LOOKING RIGHT AT THEM!
But WAIT! Blind Jenna ISN”T actually looking at the PLL’s because she’s blind. She has no idea they are even there! Rather, she is looking for Police Boy Garrett . . .
*insert porn music here*
. . . and stripping for him . . . and sucking his face . . . RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER OPEN BEDROOM WINDOW!
Riiiiiight, because THAT’S exactly where I would choose to tongue wrestle with a guy I DIDN’T WANT OTHER PEOPLE TO KNOW I WAS SECRETLY DATING . . . right out in the open . . . where anyone who happened to walk by could see me. Because that’s SMART!
You know, now that I think about it, isn’t RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE WINDOW, where Blind Jenna made out with Abs Toby too?
Owwww! My eyes! *gag, vomit, puuuuke*
Do you think it’s like an Exhibitionist Thing, or something? Is she simply looking for an opportunity to model her ugly ass, old lady sexy lingerie? Maybe, since she can’t see, she no longer knows where the windows are in her own house?
All I know is, for week’s us PLL fans have all known that Blind Jenna enjoys bumping uglies with Police Boy Garrett. Now, our fabulous foursome knows too!
Paging Dr. Hot Butt Brit!
Oh, Wren! You and your sly use of foliage, as a thinly-veiled excuse to visit Spencer when she’s home alone . . . in hopes that you will eventually be able to wind your way back into her, still underaged, but “very mature” panties. Feel free to bring random plants to my doorstep, anyday!
Spencer is chilling in her crib, alone, making the Spencer Face, just for the fun of it, when she hears a knock at the door. Oh my! Who on Earth could it be? Is it Abs Toby?
Nope . . .
Creepy Pedo Zombie Ian, back from the Dead?
Uh, uh . . .
Crazy Nanny Carrie Stefan Salvatore’s wife That Evil Wench, Melissa?
Guess again . . . IT’S WREN!
Wren stops by Spencer’s because he IS STILL HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH SPENCER, YEAHHHH! wants to give that awful excuse for a human being Melissa some flowers. But Melissa isn’t home YAYAYAYAYAYAY! so, aw shuck, I guess he will just have to flirt with Spencer in that beautiful British accent of his.
Wren has some good news! He just got a residency at Rosewood Community Hospital. And you know what that means? Lots of sex in the on-call room for Spencer and Wren! Spencer, who, by the way, has NO GAME WHATSOEVER, would rather pepper Wren with questions about the Rosewood Community Hospital morgue, and whether or not she can use the records in there to find out how Alison died. Blah, Blah, Blah! I want more flirting, DAMMIT!
I would very much like to make out with you right now, but my stupid mouth won’t stop saying boring things about my Dead Friend . . .
Not to be deterred, Wren asks Spencer for coffee, because he is KNACKERED.
Tee hee hee! I love how he says the word “knackered.”
At which point, Spencer politely informs him that she is dating Abs Toby, and is only allowed to drink coffee with HIM, thank you very much! In response, Wren offers an alternative: tea. Because, apparently, in the U.K., getting coffee together means “serious relationship,” whereas getting “tea” just means sex. Who knew?
Apparently, THIS GUY did . . .
Emily Gets Creamed . . .
Poor Emily! While all the other PLL girls’ “troubles” this week, were of a romantic nature, Ms. Fields was stuck with “absentee parents,” an “absentee girlfriend” (Seriously? You would think Samara would AT LEAST make a cameo appearance at the hospital, considering the AWFUL shape her girlfriend was in. LOVE INTEREST FAIL!) . . . not to mention a literal “pain in the neck,” one that traveled down to her stomach, and proceeded to rip her insides to shreds. Geez! Someone up there is pissed off at this girl. (Perhaps, Heaven is filled with Maya fans?)
As a continuation of last week, a harried Emily continues to push herself physically and emotionally to the limit, in preparation for her Big Swim Meet, which the elusive Danby recruiter is supposed to attend. I assume Emily figures that, if she can get a scholarship to Danby, for real, she will never have to tell her parents that the last one (the one that “A” sent on her behalf) was fake . . .
We find Emily in Hanna’s house first thing in the morning, doing sit-ups on the Marin floor. (Watch out Emily, the MARIN’S probably had sex down there, last night?) Like last week, we notice that Emily is in a lot of pain. She keeps tugging on her arm and shoulders, and rubbing this pain cream, all over her body, like it’s her job.
(By the way, have you ever smelled that stuff? It’s nasty . . . like what your dead great-grandfather would smell like, if, before he died, he lathered himself up with cheap cologne. I don’t know how Hanna can stand being around her, the way she keeps lathering herself up with that stinkiness.)
Emily’s chilling at her locker, when who should pop by for a visit, but HER DAD . . . as in, the one who’s fighting for our country in Texas?!
“Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country . . . at your daughter’s swim meet.”
Yeah, apparently the army has Daddy-o on a Super Secret Mission that allows for a stopover in Rosewood. How convenient? Dad tells Emily that, since he’s in town anyway, why not stick around and watch her Big Important Swim Meet?
To make matters even more frightening interesting, Emily’s dad keeps talking about MEETING the recruiter . . . you know the one who DIDN’T really give Emily a scholarship to his school. So petrified excited is Emily about her father’s appearance that she CLUTCHES HER STOMACH AND FALLS ON THE FLOOR, WRITHING IN PAIN!
Uh . . . Emily, you’re supposed to save your swimming for the POOL.
Emily gets carted off to the hospital, where she’s looking pretty darn sickly. (Kudos to the makeup department for this.)
As it turns out, Emily suffered an ulcer, which, as Hanna explains to us about 80 times during the hour, is, basically, a “hole in your stomach” that “only old people get.” Way to be tactful, Hanna!
*sings* “There’s a hole in your stomach, Dear Emily, Dear Emily . . . There’s a hole in your stomach, Dear Emily, a HOLE!”
Given all that has happened in the past couple of weeks, Emily reluctantly decides, once and for all, to tell her parents the truth about the fake scholarship letter from Danby . . . a decision, she knows will ultimately result in a coach class ticket back to Texas. This, of course, draws sad faces all around from her pals. EMILY! You can’t go to Texas! There are Republicans there! 🙂
But the PLL girls aren’t the ONLY ones interested in paying a visit to the bedridden Emily. Guess who else stops by?
Hmmm . . . is it Maya, back from De-Gaying camp?
Nope.
Is it Little Orphan Bitchy?
Uh uh . . .
How about Possible Fatal Attraction Samara?
Still no. *cough Bad Girlfriend cough*
IT’S WREN AGAIN! YAYYYYYYY!
Unfortunately, Wren has some bad news for Emily. Apparently, her blood tests showed high levels of HGH in her system, a.k.a Human Growth Hormone, a.k.a. STEROIDS, a.k.a. Emily sure has a lot of explaining to do!
Of course, if Emily WAS taking “performance enhancers,” we, the viewers, would have known about it, wouldn’t we? I mean this is, ABC Family, after all. We would have gotten a whole After School Special sort of lecture on the dangers of drugs (most likely followed by a cheesy PSA, and the telephone number for a STEROIDS SUCK hotline, of some sort). We didn’t get that here, which means Emily is most likely innocent of all “doping” . . .
But wait . . . if Emily didn’t take the drugs herself, how did they get in her system?
More on that later. For now, Emily’s going to have to deal with the fact that NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO BELIEVE that she, a promising young athlete with a scholarship on the line, just so happened to ACCIDENTALLY take drugs to ENHANCE HER PERFORMANCE in the days leading up to a Big Important Swim Meet. Do you see where I am going with this?
As if Hanna’s descriptions of her innards, worries over NEVER BEING ABLE TO SWIM AGAIN, and fears that her PARENTS WILL KILL HER WHEN THEY FIND OUT SHE’S A ROID RAGING ADDICT, aren’t enough to kill Emily’s appetite, get a load of what they call hospital food in this dump!
Get it . . “cream”! Hard de har har . . .
That’s right, my Pretties! Remember that scene, at the end of last week’s episode in which the infamous Gloved Hand filled a syringe with a substance known as BD7?
Well, now we know what it was, and what she ended up doing with it. It kind of makes you think twice about where you put your body lotion . . . if you catch my drift.
I have to say, this is yet another situation where “A’s” motive for doing what she did to Emily is completely unclear to me. If Emily never ended up in the hospital, it could be argued that the drugs in her system would never have been discovered. In fact, there’s a good chance, Emily would have performed so well at the meet, that the Danby coach ended up giving her that scholarship anyway. So, was “A,” in her own sick way, trying to HELP Emily? Or did she KNOW that Emily would end up in the hospital from all the cream she was using (a bit unrealistic, don’t you think), and was seeking to ruin her swimming career, and possibly, kill her? The verdict is still out on this one folks . . .
Once again, “A” reiterates her desire to get out of Rosewood, and hang out with George W. Bush in Texas. “A is bringing us all down, one by one . . . Aria is probably next,” Emily complains.
“Can we ALL go to Texas?” Aria inquires nervously. (I hate to break it to you LITTLE A, but Emily kind of has a point. When it comes to “A’s” torture methods, she’s been kind of slacking on you!)
But Spencer is not giving up without a fight! She wants to finish this thing, and send “A” packing for good. (Sure, you say that now Spencer, but what about when “A” gives you a nasty case of irritable bowel syndrome . . .)
Oh, look . . . I’ve made them both mad . . .
Now, for those of you gullible people who were ACTUALLY worried about Emily skipping town, A.K.A. leaving the show, you can breathe easy. Cue the 8:53 quick fix problem solution, in the form of Dad saying that Emily doesn’t need no STINKIN’ scholarship. The Fields will find a way to work, with swimming or without. Except, it’s looking more and more, like it’s going to be “without” . . . just sayin’ . . .
Aria Gets BORED . . . (and Mike Gets . . . meh . . . I don’t really care about Mike.)
Those of you who have spent the last few weeks crying in your cornflakes over the notion that we may never again be able to watch Aria make pottery again, after her unfortunate run-in with Blind Jenna, a few weeks back (You know who you are! ;)) can rest easy now. This episode finds Artsy Aria at Random Fake College Hollis, applying blue glaze paint to a SUPER large bowl.
(What a coincidence? This is the color Fitzy’s balls are about to be in about five minutes! Talk about “FORESHADOWING!”)
Speaking of Professor Fitzy, he pops by the studio, clearly hoping for a Quickie. He’s so turned on right now, it’s a wonder he managed to keep his clothes on during the trip over. But Aria seems a bit . . . distracted. “Can we, do this later?” She asks. (Oooh . . . that is NOT good, Fitzy! Not good AT ALL!)
So, Fitzy, not one to be easily discouraged, pulls out a copy of his trusty “Seduction for Dummies” book, and starts tossing out pickup lines from it, like they are going out of style.
The only problem, of course, is that the version of “Seduction for Dummies” Fitzy is using is apparently from 1995. How else would you explain his dropping a Ghost reference in there? Doesn’t he realize that movie came out a at least a good FOUR YEARS before Aria was even BORN? Way to date yourself, Buddy . . .
Fortunately, for Fitzy (or, perhaps, unfortunately) depending on how you look at it, Aria has somehow seen this movie (Maybe she watched from the womb?). The problem, of course, is that Aria doesn’t find the notion of a MURDERED BOYFRIEND possessing Whoopie Goldberg, in order to seek vengeance on his killers, all that romantic . . . (Gee, I wonder why?)
In Fitzy’s defense of course, I’ve caught the Infamous Pottery Making Scene from the movie on cable a few times, and it IS pretty hot . . . if you go for “that sort of thing” . . .
If the dated Ghost reference was Strike One, Strike Two is when Fitzy swoons over a piece of pottery he THINKS is Aria’s handiwork, but it actually ends up being . . . wait for it . . . Blind Jenna’s . . .
“Oops! Umm . . . yours is nice too, sweetie . . . really!”
Remember, back last season, when Fitzy randomly became OBSESSED with Blind Jenna’s writing, and how “sublimely talented she was?” Yeah, he’s doing it again . . . and Aria doesn’t like it any more THIS time, than she did back then . . .
Also, I’m sorry, but that piece of pottery Jenna made . . . with all the little bullet-hole things in it . . . not only is TOTALLY non-functional (Can you imagine trying to put liquid in that thing?), it is also UGLY with a capital “U”! I thought you had better taste than that Fitzy? Seriously!
Of course, had Fitzy let the matter drop, right there, he probably would have saved himself a strike. BUT THEN . . . he has to start nagging Aria again about why she isn’t friends with Jenna. Really, Fitzy? Does the term brother-f*&ker mean anything to you? An already aggravated Aria (and, lets face it, she’s had a stick up her but throughout this entire scene), grouchily tells Fitzy that Jenna dropped the class, after learning that Aria was enrolled. So, no, they won’t be braiding eachother’s hair or having sex with eachother’s brothers painting eachother’s toenails, anytime soon.
“This is the part where I stab you in the face, and blood spews all over my ugly holey ceramic cup.”
Fitzy earns his final strike by letting the green monster rear it’s ugly head. He asks about what happened with Klepto Mike the night of the dinner party. And Aria is clearly hesitant to reveal her little brother for the lowlife he is. When Aria admits to being ashamed of the fact that her brother is the Town Sticky Fingers, Fitzy sweetly reminds her that she doesn’t have to be embarrassed about anything around him.
“Throw me a bone here, will ya? I’m TRYIN’!”
But when Aria lets it slip that Klepto Mike was caught stealing at Facelift Jason’s house, warning bells go off in the Professor’s little brain. “So, THAT’s what you two were talking about at the party, Fitzy says, beginning to piece things together. “Should I be worried about this Jason Guy?” Fitzy inquires, finally mustering up the courage to ask the question that’s clearly been on his mind ever since he saw those two with their heads pressed together on that Fateful Night.
“Hell, yes, you should! Don’t you know that EVERY SINGLE MALE CHARACTER that gets introduced on this show, eventually ends up as a love interest for ONE of the girls? Remember what happened with Bushy Eyebrows Noel? Where have you been, Fitzy? WHAT? NO!” Aria sputters defensively, though the thoughtful look on Aria’s face, after Fitzy leaves (He asked her to stop by his place for sex, and she promptly shot him down) said something VERY different.
Aria blows off Fitzy, once again, when the latter arrives at the hospital, to check on her, while she is visiting Emily. During the increasingly cold and awkward conversation, Aria conveniently gets a call from Facelift Jason (Doesn’t she always, during moments like this?) and lies through her teeth about who’s calling her.
Uh oh! If I were you, I’d keep Wacky Jackie’s number on speed dial, Fitzy. Because it looks like you may very well have been at least temporarily replaced . . .
In other news, Klepto Mike indicated to his mother that he MIGHT be stealing from everyone in town, because BOO HOO WOO, she moved out of the house for two days, and then moved back . . . And WAHHHHHH, it’s SO HARD coming from an upper-middle class attractive family that loves you, and sdlkfjsd;lkjjjjj . . . Sorry! That was my head hitting the keyboard. I just fell asleep, while typing this . . .
“So . . . Mike . . . is your head naturally that large, or did you steal one of those new Brain Inflation Devices from one of the houses you robbed.”
Hanna’s Dad Gets Dumped . . . (But HEY! At least, he still has his fiance!)
After the Drunken Staircase Hump Heard ‘Round the Marin Household, Ma and Pa Marin, apparently, screwed eachothers’ mid-life crisis having brains out made a “night” of it.
Because, the next morning, Papa Marin — complete with rumbled suit, bloodshot eyes, hangover face, and bedhead — makes the long Walk of Shame down the steps.
And though he clearly tries to avoid doing so at all costs Nice DAD! Real NICE!, he is forced to make small talk over breakfast with his daughter.
Emily and Hanna are sporting matching, “We know you just had sex” faces . . .
. . . while a definitely worse for wear Papa Marin simply tries to keep from puking in his Cheerios. Then, as if things couldn’t get more awkward, who should come down the steps but Little Miss Screws A lot, herself, Mama Marin . . .
After the adults make some mumbled excuse as to why the entire house was vibrating last night, Mama notes wryly that Papa is up a bit early this morning, considering how obviously sh*tfaced drunk he was the night before. Papa leers seductively at Mama, and tells him that it must have been his desire to avoid running into his daughter his “human body clock .” “Somethings you just can’t turn off,” says Papa, casting a lewd sex stare in Mama’s direction. Now, please excuse me, while I go vomit . . .
OK . . . I’m back.
You’ve Got Mail, Hanna Marin! And guess what it is? It’s a Save the Date card for your DAD’S wedding to a woman who is not your Mom! AWK-WARD!
I hate to say it, but that’s a GORGEOUS invitation. The “Other Woman” has great taste (in invitations . . . not in men . . . because she chose Hanna’s dad . . . And he’s a total douche.)
That afternoon, Mr. Relentless Sexpot STILL has the gall to put the moves on Mom, right in the middle of her talking to him about EMILY’S ULCER! (ASSHAT!) Mama Marin wins major cool points from fellow members of her sex, by telling Tommy Boy that she deserves a man who knows what he wants, and that was NEVER PAPA MARIN. She then kicks the Loser Who Still Somehow Spawned an Awesome Child, like Hanna to the curb . . . GOOD RIDDENS to BAD DAD’S, I SAY!
But Hanna was kind of bummed out about it, when she found out. (His sperm did help create her, after all.) Fortunately, Caleb was there to give her a little TLC, when she needed it most . . .
Speaking of resident “BAD BOY” Caleb . . .
Caleb Gets Stalked (and Hanna Gets SOME) . . .
I have to say, I was skeptical of this storyline when it first began. At first, it sort of seemed like a continuation of last week’s “Help, I’m in Love with a Criminal” melodrama. And yet, by the end the story took a turn that I have to admit was quite original, and intriguing.
It started lame though . . . with Hanna, once again spying Caleb outside of the school doing “something shady.”
“So, here are those haircare tips you asked me for. Just wash, rinse, and repeat. And you should be just fine.”
But the plot thickens, when Hanna finds and oldish dude stalking Caleb, while staring at his police report . . .
“He really does have spectacular hair . . . so much BODY and SHINE!’
Who is this guy, anyway? Is he part of Caleb’s old GANG? Is he a police officer who specializes in hair theft the illegal pimping out of phones? Hanna isn’t sure. But she knows she doesn’t want to see her boy toy in trouble. So, she tries to subtly warn him not to do . . . whatever the heck it is he actually does in public, where the whole school and Stalker Guy can see him.
Unfortunately for Hanna, Caleb just assumes his girlfriend is being a Big Ole Judgmental Nag. So, he snaps, explaining how he’d rather pimp out phones than pimp out his body to Aunt Jenna flip burgers at the local Mickey D’s. He then stomps off, leaving Hanna looking sad, and more than a bit worried about her boyfriend’s future as the “picker upper soap in a prison shower . . .”
At the hospital, while visiting Emily, Spencer somehow manages to get Hanna to spill the beans about what’s going on between her and Caleb. Hanna admits that she hasn’t told him about the “cop” following him, because she is afraid that, if he finds out, he will run, and she will “lose him again.” HELLO? SELFISH MUCH? Spencer sets Hanna straight, informing him that the minute Caleb gets picked up by the Po Po, is forced to don an orange jumpsuit, and shower with a bunch of other dudes, with names like Bubba and Sweet Tits, she’s pretty much lost him, anyway . . .
“Gee, thanks, Debbie Downer! Since when did you start watching reruns of Oz.”
In what might have been the Biggest Overreation of a PLL Character Ever, Hanna randomly decides to dress up like a character from Mad Men (or Blind Jenna, whichever you prefer), kidnap Caleb, and whisk him off to one of Spencer’s parents MANY abandoned homes, which seem to just pop up around Rosewood like the Chicken Pox (Wealthy much?)
At the Abandoned House, Hanna confronts Caleb with the news that he is being stalked / followed. And he promises her that, no matter what happens, he’s not going to go on the lam, and skip town again . . .
Hanna further makes him promise that if he DOES decide to leave, he take Hanna along, since she is so great at HOT TENT SEX
. . . camping.
They decide to make out on the couch, as the camera focuses on a fire similar to the one where Papa Hastings burnt Ali’s murder weapon to a crisp. How romantic!
Sweet, huh? But the REAL twist to this story comes at the end, when Hanna confronts Caleb’s stalker, and tells him to leave her boyfriend alone. As we learn later, the “stalker” is not a cop at all, rather, he’s a Private Investigator for SOMEONE who wants to reach out to Caleb again (most likely a biological parent).
(It just goes to show you that no good deed goes unpunished, right Hanna?)
All kidding aside, I’m very eager to see where this storyline will take us . . .
Spencer Gets a Clue (and a Corpse?)
At school, Police Boy Garrett intercepts Spencer, wondering why she ran off on him, like she did, the night she received Aria’s text.
Seeing Police Boy not-so-subtly try to figure out what Spencer knows makes me understand why he “gets along so well” with Blind Jenna. I mean, this guy is a SERIOUSLY socially awkward creeper . . . from his insanely bad jokes . . . to his serial killer smile . . . to his constant invasion of personal space. You can’t really blame Spencer for treating him like a leper, and not wanting to be near him, especially considering where that mouth has BEEN.
You know . . . they say that when you sleep with someone, you are actually sleeping with EVERY SINGLE PERSON that person slept with. I wonder if the same theory applies to kissing. Because, if so, Spencer has theoretically kissed both Blind Jenna AND Garrett . . . think about it.
In a parked police car, somewhere in Rosewood, Blind Jenna and PoliceBoy Garrett are engaged in a conversation they SHOULD have had, the night before, back when they were sucking face in front of an audience. Both parties seem worried that Spencer might know something about who actually killed Ali. They seem particularly perturbed by Spencer’s inquiry as to whether a WOMAN did it. They wonder if Spencer knows about the “Jason” thing, but assume that she does not.
The tenor of the conversation sort of makes it seem like Jenna killed Ali, Garrett helped her to cover it up, and Jason, was there somewhere, to wasted to be a reliable witness. Of course, the fact that this SEEMS like the most obvious answer to the mystery, probably means that it’s not the answer at all.
*sigh* “Everything with Garrett is SO complicated! I should really go back to just f*&king my brother.”
After Spencer checks in on Emily and her Massive Stomach Hole, she attempts to sneak down to the morgue, and commit a felony, by rifling through Dead Ali’s autopsy report.
The problem, of course, is that Dr. Hot Brit intercepts her for a Greys Anatomy Elevator Moment . . .
“Oh, Spencer . . . sex in the elevator with a REAL doctor is HOT STUFF! Just sayin’! Don’t knock it, until you’ve tried it! Your boyfriend will never have to know which reminds me, WHERE IS ABS TOBY? Isn’t he Emily’s friend too? Shouldn’t he be there? What gives, TOB?“
Having had a chance to look at Emily’s admittance charts, Wren assumes that Spencer is headed to see Emily, when, in fact, she has already seen her. In fact, when Spencer tries to sneak down to the morgue, it is WREN that reroutes her back to the third floor. NAUGHTY WREN! You spoiled Spencer’s plan. You deserve a SPANKING! Please . . . allow ME. . . 😉
Not willing to be foiled again, Spencer gets the “brilliant” idea that she and Aria should steal candy striper uniforms from the laundry room (Ew! I hope they were clean!) . . .
. . . so that they could sneak into the morgue. Riiiiight, because candy stripers ALWAYS work in the morgue. After all, if anyone needs candy and young hot girls in short skirts joy, it’s THE DEAD!
We learn quite a few things from Spencer’s and Aria’s little morgue field trip:
(1) Rosewood Hospital hasn’t experienced any technological advances since the movie Ghost came out. We know this because Ali’s autopsy is just “hanging out” in a folder, as oppposed to . . . I don’t know . . . on a computer . . . with a security system . . . or even in a friggin lock box, I mean GEEZ!
(2) Apparently, not that many people have died in Rosewood since 2007, because ALL OF THOSE people’s autopsies fit in that TEENY TINY CABINET.
(3) Ali was hit on the back of the head by an object that may or may not have been a hockey stick.
(4) She also died with dirt in her mouth, which may or may not mean that she enjoyed eating dirt was BURIED ALIVE!
The problem, of course, is that all that information was found on the first FOUR pages of the autopsy. Because Page 5 is . . . MISSING!
The final scene of the episode is arguably the BEST final scene in PLL history. It features some creepy janitor guy eating a cookie . . . and . . . THIS . . .
Mwah-hahaha!
That’s right, my Pretties! Apparently Creepy Pedo Ian isn’t the ONLY zombie on this show . . .
And, there you have it. That was “Save the Date” in a nutshell. Though I can’t say it was my favorite episode, the hospital setting gave it a dark, eerie feel, that was a nice change of pace from the typical “perky bedroom and kitchen” sets we typically see on this show. Additionally, I must say I was rather impressed with Shay Mitchell’s acting this week. This was arguably Emily’s most complex storyline to date, and she handled it brilliantly.
Oh, and there was WREN . . . lots and lots of WREN! Keep bringing on the Dr. Hot Butt Brit PLL writers. 😉 Mommy like . . . A LOT!
Based on the Much Music trailer, next week’s episode promises, among other things, a steamy bedroom makeout sesh between Aria and Facelift Jason (Dream Sequence?),weird body part photography, and plenty of Spencer Face to go around. You can check it out, in its entirety here:
Until then, try to stay out of the morgue, My Pretties! And, for heaven sakes, keep an eye on your CREAM! 🙂
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TV Recappers Anonymous 
Laughing my Arse off LOL can I say arse? Any who. I noticed we made several of the same observations which I hope is good but there was a couple of things I recalled while reading yours. Oh and Hanna’s over reaction was her way of protecting Caleb was sad in a way because she really hasn’t any other male figure in her life she can count on. I noticed you didn’t mention about the fact that Wren was around alot in the hospital though not actually doing work though that is normal on this shows. Kids go to school but no classes and such LOL it just seemed he was on Spencer’s tail and I am leaning toward him being heavily involved in the A mystery now but I guess every week I go on a different tangent on that LOL right I know. OH I know what i recalled there was a little known film called Abandoned with Katie Holmes that I bought that reminds me of the way Hanna behaved tonight. I am sure Hanna is not involved but she was very needy. OH and the points you made about the morgue were very on but I guess they are a small town hospital.
Hey sassy! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. I figured I would continue our conversation from YOUR awesome PLL recap here, by posting that fabulous video I showed you, here:
(Just click the internal link to watch.)
And you are absolutely right. Early Spencer was definitely more . . . um . . . “aggressive” with objects of her affection, than she was in later episodes. When it came to Toby, she was downright tentative at first. Not so with Wren. 😉 Perhaps, the writers toned her down a bit, to make her seem “younger” than she did initially.
On to your comments. You are right, Wren didn’t seem to be working that hard at the hospital. In his defense, have you ever seen Grey’s Anatomy? They don’t work that hard either. Sure, everyone has his or her token patient, they visit for about 5 minutes combined during the episode. But, aside from that it’s mostly gossip, fights, and sex in the on-call room (as it should be ;)).
I do wonder how small Rosewood is as a town, since the hospital set seemed pretty big, as does the school set. There are also A LOT of extras! I wonder how big the PLL’s graduating class is? 300? 400?
Great point about Hanna clinging to Caleb, because she lacks a strong father figure . . . not that Caleb is necessarily paternal. But he earns major points for supporting and comforting her, at the end of the episode, when she needed it. I mean, sure Hanna has the PLL girls to lean on, when times get tough. But lately, they’ve all got their own problems. And there is definitely something to be said for having a firm (male) shoulder to cry on, during moments like these.
I think I saw the movie Abandoned. I found it very strange! And Katie Holmes and Ben Bratt had no chemistry at all, am I right? (SPOILER ALERT: I guess the fact that Katie ended up being a royal nutbar certainly didn’t help matters). 🙂
Hey Eeyore! Sorry I have not been able to comment on Surface Tension, yet. I’ve been busy getting back to the swing of things after my mission trip in South Carolina. It’s not usual for me to sleep in, but the jet lag got to me. I will try to comment later today!
This week’s episode was pretty good. I mean, the lack of Jason had me bouncing up in down in my seat and Ezra was being all too adorable. This is probably one of my favorite episodes of the season.
I’ll start off with Garret and Jenna, since I seriously cannot remove that horrible image from my mind. I feel bad for the fabulous foursome since they have had to wait so long to find this out. No, I take that back. I feel terrible that we viewers have had to witness two Garret and Jenna make out sessions. The Fabulous Foursome is lucky.
Now off to Hanna, Mama Marin, and Papa Le Douche. See, I could have lived with Hanna’s mom and dad getting back together. It’d be way more interesting than Byron and Ella that’s for sure. But no! Mama Marin has to find out that Papa le Douche is getting married in six weeks and kicks him out. *Sighs* there goes a possible interesting storyline.
Wren is becoming one of my favorite guys on the show. I’d say he’s tied with Toby as my second favorite. It’s just the fact that 1) He’s British 2) He’s a doctor 3) He knows how to treat a lady. After watching Save the Date, I had to really think on who I wanted with Spencer more, Abs Toby or Hot Doctor Brit. I am still undecided. I have to see more.
Emily’s dad is back and out of all of the fathers on PLL, he is probably the best. He’s fought for his country, he has allowed his daughter to live without him and his wife in Rosewood, and he understands that Emily is under a whole lot of stress and he wants to assure her that she doesn’t have to push herself so hard that she drives herself into the hospital. Wayne Fields is definitely my number one choice on who I would to be my dad.
Caleb is also becoming one of my favorite guys. I used to think that he only wanted to get in, get it, get out. Now he is actually committing himself to a real relationship with her. Plus, I love his hair.
Ezra, like you know all too well, is and forever will be my favorite guy on the show. And this week, I was mesmerized with him even more. I don’t know what it was. However, I have one guess: his hair. His curls are coming back! When my sister kept on saying, “I wish he would get rid of them”, I was more like, “Oh, have I have missed you, Ezzy curls!” He was also being very seductive. I don’t know how Aria could just shove him away like she did. She has the best guy on the planet as her boyfriend and she just treats him like how Sean treated Hanna in Season 1. I did a whole Tumblr post on this issue: http://ianhardingfanatic.tumblr.com/post/8436880901/what-is-wrong-with-aria, If she doesn’t treat him right, she should send him to me, because I will.
Every Tuesday, I watch the new episode of PLL and then the trailer for next weeks. I really wish I hadn’t because afterwards, I threw everything in plain sight. Heck, I threw my notebook and my favorite hat. And that’s saying something, since 1) Even when I am at my angriest, I would never take it out on my notebook and 2 )My hat is like my favorite thing on the planet to where on my head. http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfnugpxIxm1qda680o1_400.gif is probably what I looked like. This is my own personal rant: http://ianhardingfanatic.tumblr.com/post/8430836041/time-for-my-2×08-and-pre-2×09-rant. Jason kisses Aria. The world has officially ended for the Ezria family. But your right about Aria in bed with Jason. It was a dream (or a nightmare. Depends who your shipping for). Because next week, the members of the Ezria family are going to finally going to be satisfied and we will finally get what we have been waiting for: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lp8pyfB4x01qkacg3.gif. So, Eeyore. This probably the most important question I have ever asked you: Team Ezria or Team Arson? (BTW members of the Ezria family say Arson because the definition of the word is intention destruction with fire. And Aria and Jason’s potential relationship are burning a hole on Ezria.)
Next week, hopefully, I will in a much better mood. If not, I’ll do my best to. See you then!
Thought that this might help you realize that this next episode is going to be the beholder of the best Ezria scenes (3 hot scenes promised by the show creator, Marlene King). This is probably scene #1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JM5AZ-9eVms&feature=feedu
Thanks for the link, Tigger!
Phew! That was AWESOME! I’m going to need a hot shower after that one . . .
One thing dating a professor on the sly has given Aria (aside from the obvious, of course), is a mastery of creative seduction techniques. Something tells me Ezria watch a lot of porn together for “inspiration.” 😉
Hey there, Tigger! Welcome back from your mission trip. Woah, South Carolina! It must have been really hot down there. Kind of like Wren in this week’s episode of PLL. (Yes, I’m aware of how cheesy that line was.)
Can I tell you how much I LOVE your tumblr? 🙂 I was having SO MUCH FUN going through all your awesome GIFS . . . the DAMON GIFS (YAAAAYYY Go Team Delena!) . . . the Teen Wolf GIFS (I love me some Derek and Stiles) . . . the Home Alone GIF . . . the Lion King gifs . . . the Gossip Girl Gifs. Clearly, you and I are pop culture twins :).
I thought this was a pretty great PLL episode too. Every single storyline held my interest, and the hospital setting was super eerie . . . even more so this time, than when the girls spent time in there with Hanna.
UGH! Garrettt and Jenna! Those two make me want to hurl, every time I see them necking! Seriously, sometimes I can’t believe that’s the same guy who played the adorably sexy, but ultimately douchey Paolo, in the Lizzie McGuire movies. Talk about a match made in hell! I mean, on the surface, it’s not a bad looking couple. But combine that with their awful personalities on the show. YUCK POOEY!
As for the Marins, I think my problem with Papa Marin, is that he just seems so immature and selfish. He’s never been a really good father figure to Hanna, always appearing to follow his weiner instead of his heart. When the Marins’ got divorced, he all but cut off contact with Hanna in favor of his new wife’s family. And then, when he did see her, it was only to tell her about his upcoming nuptials. Even this time around, Papa Marin seemed more interested in getting into Ashley’s pants, than being a dad to his daughter. He barely talked to the poor girl at breakfast.
So, while under normal circumstances, I’d say it would be better for Hanna to have a father in her life, than not have one, with THIS GUY, I say Good Riddens to Bad Douchebags. 🙂 Oh, and as far as mom’s go, Ashley’s pretty hot. In other words, she can do way better. (As long as she doesn’t go back to Deputy Douchey, of course . . .)
I do think the Abs Toby / Dr. Hot Butt / Brit decision is a difficult choice to make. (Lucky Spencer to be the one to have to make it.) On one hand, Wren is DREAMY. Rewatching all of Spencer’s and Wren’s early scenes as a “couple,” just reminded me how sexy they are together, and how much chemistry they have. On the other han, her relationship with Abs Toby is so sweet, well-adjusted, and mature . . . (oddly, more mature than her relationship with Wren, even though Wren is quite a bit older than Toby).
Spoby kind of reminds me of a happy old married couple. So, it’s hard for me to say that Spencer should leave that healthy happy relationship for Dr Hot Butt / Brit. But hey, if she doesn’t want him, I’d gladly take him off her hands! 🙂
My main issue with the Arson relationship is that it seems like it came so out of left field. And the writers haven’t really built a solid amount of foundation for it, in my opinion. I mean, here are two people, who, in effect, grew up together. Though their age difference might not mean much now, three or four years is a BIG difference, when you are 8, and your little sisters’ friends are 4. Jason knew Aria when she was literally in diapers. So, the fact that he suddenly wants to jump her bones now is . . . well . . .kind of icky.
By the time Fitzy met Aria, she was already almost an adult, so the same problem doesn’t exist there . . .
From a non-biased perspective, I can understand why the writers want to create a love triangle for Aria. She’s popular, pretty, smart, and in the prime of her life? It seems natural for her to want to “play the field.” The problem is that the writers have spent nearly two seasons showing Aria as nothing but head over heels in love with Fitzy. Earlier I talked about Spencer being aggressive when pursuing Wren, but less so with Alex and Toby. Aria was REALLY aggressive in pursuing Fitzy, pretty much throughout the series.
So, to go, in the course of one episode, from that too, “Get away from me, I’m making pottery,” all because some hot guy (who looks great with his shirt off, I must say) told her he used to like her pink hair, seems a bit out of character for Aria.
For me to support the Arson ship, I would need to see more of a connection between the two, aside from “you look good, and I like to eyef*&k you a lot, so lets suck face.” With other couples on the show Ezria, Spoby, Spren, Halen, Lanna . . . we’ve seen connections between the characters that go beyond mere sexual attraction. Here . . . not so much . . . at least, not yet.
Does that answer your question? 😉
Hey it’s Secret 🙂 I’ve been a little M.I.A for awhile ( sort of like Abs Toby was in this episode but longer ) But don’t worry i have read every recap I just never commented , well I’m commenting now because it’s a must.
Okay I know it was not only me but that seen with Blind Jenna & Police Boy Garret made me gag. Almost as much as when we were ( as an audience ) first introduced to the couple. I was seriously grossed out ! It was like watching my grandma make out with a 26 year old. Not. Cool. At. All.
So Wren, Wren, Wren. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love Abs Toby & Spencer’s relationship. But I absolutely loved Spencer and Wren’s too. So if it comes down to a Team Spencer & Toby vs. Team Spencer & Wren Love Triangle I will probably be at a crossroad. It will be one of the most hardest Pretty Little Liars decisions i have ever had to make ! But yea I have welcomed back Wren with open arms 😉
Hanna & Caleb always make me go awwwww , a chessy awww, but it’s still an awwww.! Their storyline , i have to agree , seemed at first to be one of those cliche good girl dates bad boy ( not that Hanna is a good girl , she did steal sunglasses and it has been hinted a few times she stole other things too but that’s besides the point ). But it’s getting interesting and i’m excited to see where it ends up.
Poor Emily. A is reaching new lows with every episode. I have to admit , i felt the pain when Emily was on the floor screaming. It seemed so real, like she was really in pain. Great acting moment Emily ! But yeah sometimes I just want to take A and punch her. She obviously has a very sad life if her life centers around finding new ways to torture those girls. Not cool A, not cool
Aria & Mr.Fitz I just love them. I don’t want her to cheat with Jason. When i saw that promo I got so mad at Aria. How could she do that. Poor Fitzy 😦 . Alot of people are gonna be very upset. You and I both knew Jason’s motives from the very beginning. Gosh.
And finally the whole Mike thing. I mean come on dude seriously. I fail to understand the reason why he “rebels”. I mean come on dude, you have an awesome life. May not be perfect but its pretty awesome. And at least his mom is making an effort to keep the family together. SHE CAME BACK ! I mean dude your not exactly a right fit for the ” My parents abandoned me club. ” considering the fact that 1) Your dad is there & 2) Your mom is… there. DUH ! She left , but when she left she was still in your life. Rebeling Child Fail.
That’s all I have to say. All i know is that with every episode this show is getting more twisted, and A is getting more evil. And i love it. 😀 Over & Out.
Hey Secret! It’s great to see you! 🙂 Your comments this week were hilarious! I’ve missed you!
So, Garrett and Jenna are like your grandma making out with a 26-year old . . . 🙂 Question: Which one of them gets to play the grandma? (My money is on Garrett. 😉
It’s funny, I was just commenting on how tough it would be to choose between the sweetness (and the ABS) of Toby, and the ADORABLE SEXY BRITISHNESS of Dr. Wren. 🙂 As Katherine says to Elena on The Vampire Diaries, “It’s OK to love them both. I DID!” 🙂 Perhaps, the same advice could be given to Spencer, though I’m not sure how much Toby would like that idea . . .
Good point about Hanna not being a good girl. I mean, she’s not a FELON like Caleb, but she does have a few misdemeanors under her belt, with that “shoplifting problem” she has. So, technically, this isn’t a good girl / bad boy relationship. But I do like the twist of Caleb’s biological family coming back into his life, at the same time that Hanna is once again coping with the loss of her father in hers. It should make for an interesting dynamic between these two.
I’ll admit that I too got a bit teary, both during Emily’s Screaming in Pain scene, and her sappy sweet father bonding scene at the end of the episode. Remember when we used to say, Spencer and Hanna got the brunt of A’s anger, while Emily and Aria always seemed to get off easy? Not so, anymore. Emily was probably right, when she warned Aria to watch out. Maybe Aria SHOULD move to Texas, after all.
You are right, Secret, you and I definitely had Jason’s number, from the very beginning. I mean, when he made that Pink Hair Comment, he couldn’t have been more obvious, than if he was wearing a shirt that said, “I want to f*&k my dead sister’s best friend.” 🙂
I’m amazed by how polarizing Aria’s attraction to Jason has become. I’ve never seen so many fans up in arms over a TV relationship. There really are a lot of STRONG supporters of both ships. In my earlier comment to “Tigger” ;), I revealed my misgivings about the Arson relationship. (Add that to the fact that I am still a bit bitter over the whole Facelift Jason thing. I just feel bad Original Jason, you know!) And yet, I’m still really curious to see just how far the writers plan to take this love triangle storyline.
You are absolutely right, about “A” getting more evil each week. As Aria said, “She’s in our medicine cabinets, now!” Where do you go from there? Next thing you know, “A” will be performing brain surgery on the PLL girls in their sleep, and installing computer chips in their brains. I honestly wouldn’t put it past her!
Thanks so much for stopping by Secret! It was great talking PLL with you! 🙂
Omg , Omg. I have the perfect theory for Tuesday’s episode about the Jason and Aria storyline. First off, in the promo we see Aria laying on her bed looking like confused like she just woke up from a DREAM. DREAM DREAM DREAM!!!! It was a dream , I mean of course , it has to be. But just in case you don’t believe i have some more evidence.
Watch this sneak peek. I dont know if you saw it already but here :
Now that you you have seen that Aria seems pretty anxious , like she is trying to prove something to herself in this preview, no? Well here was the icing on the cake in this preview :
Ahhhhaaaaaa. She says that shse had a dream. So , it had to be a dream right? Of course , i have faith in Aria , she wouldn’t let me down like this. Would she? Well that’s my theory. I’m very interested on how the writer’s will play this one out. 🙂 See you Tuesday ( unless i find something else i want to share with you 🙂 oh and one more thing
Blind Jenna … Not Blind ?!?!?!!?!? OH MY PICKLES !
Hey Kjewls!
Hilarious recap, the guessing game really made me guess! Yes i am very very slow :D. Alright well it is time for my weekly hater-ade…gulp gulp. Yay 🙂
1. Toby vs. Wren
Do not get me wrong i loooooooveee Toby….his body, but when i hear Wren’s accent i just melt into some kind of puddle. Whoo. And if you didn’t already know i love DRAMA, so if i can see a little affair between Wren and Spencer it would be fantastic and hott :)….I would also like to see manly Toby try to confront Wren…wow i can just picture this in my head. Trust me Kj (can i call you KJ?..sounds awesome and i am very lazy) it would be HOTT. Also both men are extremely attractive…..gulp gulp but i keep feeling that Toby is more like a father to spencer…i know it is weird, but he is tooo protective (more than her actual douchee father), rather Wren is just seductive and mature. Team Wencer lol 🙂
2. Jenna…and her Pottery
GULP…To be honest i hate Jenna but i pity her in a sense that i like her still…i mean for heaven sake the woman is blind. I mean seriously tell me…didn’t that speech she said to aria (Anita) in the class just make you cry a little?!?!?! Yes..No? Well ever sense then i feel like she is just a human being who is just bitter rather than some evil female blind dog…the ones from those animal commercials….you know the one with that song (in the arms of the angel…) 😦 teehee jk i really hate those commercials 😀 also i happened to like her pottery artwork complete genius for someone who can’t see….hehe
3. Officer Garret is a Child Molester
Is it me or does anyone else notice that Garret is an adult cop and Jenna is a child (i know….hard to believe). Yeah so on that note i realized that the girls have some deep dirt with Garret that they could use, but earlier stated i think i am the only one who noticed. Oooooh i have a theory! I think that Garret is taking advantage of Jenna (obviously…i mean she does not even know what he looks like)! In terms i think Garret is trying to promote himself (selfish) in his vigilante career….i mean i don not know if you remember but there was an episode where there was this old detective interegating spencer (the epsiode we first met Garret), and he told Garret that if he wants to improve he should do the case….i mean i think thats what he was talking about…yeah but anyways garret is stupid! Breaking the law is what he wants to stop not commit. …..gulp GULP i hate you Garret and more than Jenna!
4. Teens like Mike make adults hate us MORE!
Okay…so basically he is a jerk to his parents. yelling. insulting…etc. but the worst part is that his parents do not BeAt HiS A**! Anyways, his storyline as a “troubled” (it’s in quotaions for a reason…) child is really pointless and stupid…which is whyyy i think he is really being tortured by -A. It makes sense, except i don know any reason why -A would target the idiot.
5. Emily can actually act!
Okay out of all the liars, Emily has had the least experience with acting…and it is very very VERY obvious. Spencer’s – Troian – daddy owns NCIS, Hanna – Ashley – has been in movies since i was little, and Aria – Lucy – is a professional…so Emily is a little left out! Suckss, but she honesly has been improving, and it showed this episode…i mean REAL tears!?!?!?!?! In a serious note, i don’t really know what an ulcer was until Hanna’s explanation 😀 But KUDOS for Em! Excellent. Oh and your comment about Heaven filled with Maya fans had me rolling….because obviously i am a fan! Whopp Whooop 8) Anywayss…where is that demon aka -A….i mean in a serious note she has blonde hair just like Allison….which if you read the books you understand what i mean by TWIN i dont want to ruin it for anyone. Anyways for some “supportive” girlfriend she was not present. MUAHAHAHAHAHAH people will finally see her transform jk 🙂
6. The Final Chapter of Ezria….hopefully
Did you know the only reason why ezra is still on this show is because the obsessive…and i mean obnoxious Ezria fans email and stalk the producers threatening them into keeping Ezria together. Seriously it is not Fair…because i miss Alex…you know Spencer’s latin lover 😦 ohh well. Anyways i am loving Ezra’s insecurity, but even i know that their relationship demise will never happen UNLESS THEY MAKE EZRA A DOUCHE! But until then, i will always support Jason Noel, or any guy after Aria other than Ezra. GULP…..GULP Please MArlene King send him to JAil I WANT DRAMA!
Wheww! That was a lot of “Hatin” 🙂 So long KJ…Kjewls i will wait for your permission lol. Great recap, and sorry it has been a while. Oh fyi do you
believe my dad told me Pretty Little Liars is not healthy for me!!!!! I was shocked i rebeled lol like mike….jk i would have gotton my a** kicked 🙂 Thanks and PLEASE keep on writing. Hopefully i won’t see Samara or i will flip
🙂 burp…all done
I’ve got an idea, 🙂 (Oh, and you can totally call me KJ., by the way. ;)) Just tell your dad that Pretty Little Liars IS healthy for you because it: (1) is a mystery, and trying to solve mysteries improves logical reasoning skills; (2) is on ABC Family, a.k.a. The Little Christian Channel that Could . . . and how could anything on THAT channel be bad for you? ;); and finally (3) PLL analyzes complex issues of morality, by posing such questions to viewers like: Is it OK to date someone underage, when you are over 18, if you truly care about them? Is it OK to lie and steal, if you are doing it for a good cause? Is it OK to make fun of a blind person, if the blind person is kind of creepy, and sort of behaves like an a$$hole? (4) It also taught you the definition of an ulcer! So, PLL will help you to get into med school . . . if you want to go.
See, PLL is GOOD FOR YOU! 🙂
Hmmm . . . Spoby is such a cute name. In order for Spencer and Wren to have a shot at shipper stardom, we have to give them an equally cute name. How about Spren? IAs far as shipper names go, it’s no Spoby (that’s a dog’s name, by the way), but it’s a start! 😉
I like your idea about Mike actually being a pawn of “A’s.” Remember that time when Hanna was performing all those tasks (like eating the pig cupcakes, and dancing with Lucas) to earn back the stolen money from “A,” so her mom wouldn’t go to jail. Perhaps, “A” is paying Mike to steal certain things, because he wants to skip town!
You are absolutely right about Garrett being a statutory rapist for doing it with Jenna. Perhaps, the reason the girls are not blackmailing him, is that they fear that Jenna knows about Ezria. If the PLL’s ratted out Garrett, Garrett and Jenna would DEFINITELY get revenge by going after Ezria, don’t you think? (Not to mention both Jason and Wren are over 18, so . . . were any of these alternative couples ever to “do it,” they’d have just as much explaining to do as Garrett and Jenna.
You were totally right about Samara, by the way. She’s SUPER lame for not visiting her GIRLFRIEND IN THE HOSPITAL, AFTER SHE SUFFERED A HIGHLY PAINFUL ULCER. I stand corrected. Then again, maybe she’s just stuck in the PLL Significant Other Vortex with Maya, Little Orphan Bitchy (who was in the movie Teen Spirit last night, by the way . . . I watched), and Alex (the Latin Lover you referred to in your comment ;)) and couldn’t break free in time to get to the hospital.
Loving your weekly doses of haterade. And I’m super eager to drink more, next week! 🙂
Okay. So, I really liked this episode, but I am dreading the next one. Why, you might ask? Because I think that Caleb leaves the show. I think he leaves for Arizona with his mom, but he technically breaks up with Hanna. But because he will go into the vortex of former significant others, we will probably never see him again. 😦
But, we see the Spencer face make it’s return! I think she and Emily are totally going to pull a Mike and break into Jason’s shed. Just saying.
On the topic of Mike, he really needs to get over himself. I mean, teen angst is normal, but this…..it’s just out of control. His parents should actually punish him. May I suggest, that they force him to watch Blind Jenna and Police Officer McFriendly make monkey in front of a window? 😉
I hope that we get to see Toby and Wren get in a fight over Spencer, because that would be hot. I would prefer them both to be shirtless, though. And maybe Caleb could get in on the action, by “trying” to break them up. And yes, he would also be shirtless.:) That needs to be a scene, STAT!
Aria and Jason. Nothing strikes me about this couple, other than he seems really desperate. And, Aria, being a teen, is intrigued by him. But Ezra and Aria are good together, so although they are not my favorite, I hope they stay together.
Emily. Poor, poor, Emily. I was almost crying when I saw her on the ground writhering in pain. And where was Samara? And Toby? They didn’t even get a shout out! But, I really like Emily’s dad. That being said, what would he really be like if he stayed in Rosewood? Would he be Papa Douche (Hanna), Papa I Don’t Care About My Second Child ( Spencer), or Papa I Cheat On My Wife With My Students (Aria)? I hope that she doesn’t take anymore over the counter medicines with drugs in them, which begs the question, how does A do these things? She manages to drug Emily (takes skill to get steriods into a bottle that will have to DIRECTLY GO TO THE PERSON IN QUESTION), destroy Alison’s second memorial (computer skills), AND can pass as an adult (Emily’s house for rent) , yet go unnoticed at a teen party (stealing Hanna’s Mom’s stolen money). A must be super human. Or have multiple henchmen. OR…..the writers are doing serious crack, and have no idea how they are going to tye this all together. 🙂
Hey MCRMyMember, it looks like you were absolutely right about Haleb. I guess PLL never met a happy relationship it didn’t want to ruin. And to think they didn’t even need “A” to screw this one up! Caleb’s absentee mom did that all on her own.
I don’t know. I think I’d be more than a little bitter, if I spent a good deal of my life HOMELESS, and learned that, all this time my Mom, was living the country club lifestyle, raising OTHER kids. But I guess Caleb owes it to himself to give himself at least the OPPORTUNITY for a better life.
I wonder why the writers decided to do this? Is Tyler Blackburn starring in a movie, and wanting out of his contract? Was it just a long way of getting Hanna to forgive her dad? Or are they, perhaps, paving the way for a Lucas / Hanna relationship?
I guess only time will tell . . .
Oooh, a Toby and Wren wrestling match for Spencer’s honor. YUM! You know, I think if you morphed Abs Toby and Dr. Hot Butt together, you’d form the perfect man. 😉 That being said, I did find it really weird that neither Toby nor Samara visited Emily in the hospital. I think the random absentee cast member thing has something to do with PLL’s budget. I’m not sure.
And you are absolutely right about Emily’s dad. He seems awesome now, but something about this show corrupts parents, when they get too much screen time. If he moved back home, he’d become a coke addict for sure. 😉
I also think you are right about “A” having people working for him or her (probably her) to do the things she wouldn’t otherwise be able to do. So, things like applying to “rent” the house, in order to crash Emily’s computer, and going to the pawn shop to buy back the ring, were probably done by adults who “A” paid off, just like Jenna and Garrett paid off that Fed Ex guy. I do think “A” is the same age as rest of the PLL’s, otherwise, why bother picking on teenagers? Unless, of course, it’s Melissa . . .
Hmmm . . . It doesn’t look like we’ll find out the answer to that question for a while, so I’m hoping AT LEAST we finally learn who killed Alison.
Thanks so much for your awesome commentary! My next recap should be up in the next 24 hours :).