The Girl Who Cried Wolf (and Beeeeeeeelllll!) – A Recap of True Blood’s “Night on the Sun”

Aww, don’t cry, Sookie!  You’ll get to eat your Taco Beeeeelll soon enough.

Bite me, Sookeh!

For me, this week’s installment of True Blood can really be broken down into two parts:  the touchy feely, first part, where the entire cast had a good cry, conquered their nightmares, and got in touch with their respective femine sides; and the AWESOME second part, where everybody went commando (in more ways then one!), got dirty, fought, screwed and killed, one another (usually in that order).

That being said, there was ONE part of the second half of this week’s True Blood that truly saddened me . . .

No!  I’m not talking about the absence of Lorena and her Ribcage Hat (though that saddened me too)!  I’m talking about the loss of someone VERY special.

Dear sweet, Talbot!  Oh, how I’ll miss your zany temper tantrums and scrumptious blood gelato!

On that sad note, what do you say, we all dry our tears, and get on with this recap.  This way, we can get to the good stuff (a.k.a. the killing and screwing) faster?  Talbot would have wanted it that way . . .

“Sookie, are you brain damaged?”

“Well, gosh, Jason!  I don’t know.  Why don’t you ask my boyfriend who I took back for a good lay, after he dumped me, screwed a crazy b&tch vampire behind my back, and drained me of all my blood, nearly killing me?” 

“Well, seeing as I only drained her neck and chest, her brain should be pretty much in tact.  Then again, she does share some of your genes, Jason . . . and she did take my lame ass back at the end of the episode.  So, who knows?”

This episode pretty much begins where the last one left off.  Sookie is screaming her head off at the sight of Taco Bill, who has just saved her life by inserting some of his blood into her hospital IV.  (Nevermind the fact, that she wouldn’t even BE in the hospital if it wasn’t for him!) 

While Jason is pondering his sister’s post-accident “lack of intelligence” (pot calling kettle much?),  Alcide immediately jumps in to defend Sookie from Bill.  And it is SUPER hot!  “I don’t take orders from VAMPS!”  The big meaty hunk of man answers, after the scrawny pale-faced Vampire Bill tells him to sit down.

Please allow me a moment to retrieve my panties from the floor . . .

(Don’t get me wrong.  I always have been, and always will be, a Team Eric member.  But would a short-term stopover at Sexy Alcide be such a bad thing?  I think not!  After all, our Sookie has all eternity to spend with the Big Viking.  And as for Alcide?  Well, even the shortest of flings can seem like a long happy marriage in DOG YEARS!)

Cake topper for the Herveaux – Stackhouse Wedding. 

Once everybody has calmed down a bit, Sookie asks to speak with Dollar Menu Item Bill alone.  The gang reluctantly leave the room.  Two of the world’s smallest violins begin to play simultaneously, as these two perform their respective “It’s not you, it’s me,” breakup monologues.

 

“From the day we met, it’s been one big bloody fight,” blubbers Sookie, snot running attractively from her nose.  “I keep waiting for it to be normal, but you keep giving me indigestion with your fake meat, Taco Man  it’s never going to be normal with us, is it?”

“I want you to have the life you deserve, and I can’t give it to you,” whines Bill, his mascara bloody tears running down his cheeks, making him look a bit like this  . . .

 . . . give or take 100 years . . .

With nothing left to say, Bill removes the IV from his hand, and exits the hospital, leaving a hysterical Sookie in his wake, and and open IV tube dripping V on the floor . . .

“Sookie, may I clean your floor with my tongue?”

“They killed my COOTER!”

“Gourmet, it isn’t.   But it sure beats Taco Beeeeellll!”

“In more ways than one . . .”

Speaking of the now Cooter-less, Trash O’Deb, she is back at Russell’s mansion, begging the Big Gay Vampire King of Mississippi for the opportunity to seek vengeance on Sookie for butchering her private par . . . um . . . boyfriend.  Unfortunately, Big Gay Russell already has his hands full.  Upon marrying Russell, Queen Sophie Anne has decided to move into his mansion, along with, her girl toy Hadley, and all of their personal belongings.  This was a TERRIBLE choice, in my opinion.  After all, Sophie’s Anne’s original digs seemed significantly larger and WAY more impressive than Russell’s . . .

 .  . . no offense, Talbot.

Speaking of Talbot, he is none too pleased about these new living arrangements.  Nor is he happy with the news that Russell murdered the magister, or that Kingy will once again be leaving the castle, this time to hunt down Sookie Glow Fingers.  Fortunately for Talbot (or, unfortunately, as we will see later), Eric has returned, to save the day, his blue panty dropper sweater, only slightly soiled with bits of Magister brain . . .

 . . . which is precisely why I told him to take it off . . .

“I’ll keep Talbot company,” offers Eric.

But Vampire Russell is still skeptical (as it turns out, with good reason).  He is not sure he can trust the Sexy Viking.

So, Vampire Eric launches into the world’s sappiest, most over dramatic, faux Shakespearean monologue of all time.  While on his knees, no less, Eric waxes poetic about how Russell is the true leader he’s been waiting for for a thousand years, and how much he wants to serve him, and blah, blah, blah .  . .  I just threw up in my mouth a little thinking about it.

But, apparently, Big Gay King Russell has an ego the size of Mississippi.  This Idiot actually buys all of Eric’s crap, and promptly heads on his merry way over to Bon Temps.  That night, Eric, who LUUUUUUVES Sookie . . .

 (even though he has pretended not to and been a total tool to her for the past couple of episodes)  . . . promptly sends her a warning message, overnight delivery, by Fedex, Sookie’s cousin, Hadley.

The message:  “Russell is coming.  Don’t trust Beeeeeeeell!”

Sookie is happy to see her cousin, but assumes there’s not much she can do about Russell coming, because whereever she goes, he’s probably going to find her anyway.  As Hadley rushes from Sookie’s house, Sookie overhears through Hadley’s thoughts that Russell and Eric now know what Sookie is . . . even though Sookie still thinks she’s an alien.

Soo-kie phone home!

“If I was smart, I would have fallen in love with someone like you [Alcide].”

“Damn straight, Glow Fingers!”

While Eric is protecting Sookie’s interests across statelines, her harem of men is doing the same thing at home.  BFFs Andy and Jason, the best 1 and 1/2 cop duo around, arrive at Sookie house immediately after she was released from the hospital, with offers to press charges against Burrito Brain Bill, for deflating her like a popped balloon . . .

“Why does it suddenly smell like tacos in here?  Must be Sookie’s new blood.”

When Sookie refuses to press charges, like the futured battered wife she is (“He didn’t mean it!”  She coos.), Andy and Jason leave, but not before Jason vows to go all Rambo on Vampire Bill’s ass!

“Welcome to the Gun Show, Breakfast Burrito!”

Alcide wants to stay and protect Sookie too, but he has to go back to Jackson because his character wasn’t officially made into a series regular until Season 4 he needs to protect his family from Trailer Trash Debbie.

Sigh!

“Sookie, you are tougher than a one-eared alley cat,” he begins . . .  (Ummm, you may be hot Alcide, but you sure are BAD at coming up with analogies.  And I’m not the only one who thinks so . . .)

Alcide, I think you’ve made it angry . . .

“I just hate to leave you alone, during all this,” Alcide concludes, brushing his hands lovingly across Sookie’s face, and running his fingers through her hair, as she gazes dreamily into his eyes.  (MAN!  I’m jealous!  Now I know how Trailer Trash Debbie feels!)

Following Tara’s request that Alcide “flirt some sense into her” . . .

“And all these seasons, you thought I was a sh*tty friend!  I’m trying to get you laid by a non-corpse, Sookie!  That’s love!”

Alcide returns for a quickie to Sookie’s house to say goodbye.  After admitting that they would be better off together then with the blood drinking wackadoos they both love currently, the almost-couple share an almost-kiss that.  Said almost-kiss, in my opinion, is ten times hotter than the porn fest Sookie engages in with Taco Bill, at the end of the episode.

And then he leaves . . .

“See you in your dreams!”

Speaking of Sookie’s friend, Tara, she’s been suffering a bit of that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, her cousin Lafayette endured during Season 2.  She refuses to talk to anyone about being kidnapped by Franklin Mott; or how he almost made her into his Vampire Bride; or how she made HIM into chop suey (or taco meat, whichever you prefer) . . .

Hungry for some Mott’s?

Tara’s nightmares about Franklin range from the pornographic to the violent . . .

 . . . just like Franklin, himself.

“That’s my baby inside of you.”

Tara isn’t the only one having “killer” dreams, Arlene was having them too, only her dreams starred her former fiance, and Season 1’s Big Bad Serial Killer with the kickass fake Cajun accent, Rene Lenier.  “I came to see my baby.  It has my blood, my genes,” taunts Dream Renee, as he ogles Arlene’s near-naked body.    When we found out the baby wasn’t Terry’s a few episodes back, we all assumed it was Renee’s.  Now we know for sure (sort of). 

Once he had successfully frightened the stuffing out of Arlene, Dream Renee woke her up by gently caressing her neck, just like THIS . . .

Arlene’s new choker necklace.

Do you think they test for the “serial killer gene” during an amniocentesis?  For Arlene’s sake, I sure hope so!

“Good riddens, Mommy Mickens!”

In Sam’s trailer trash family news, Sam’s annoying Bio Mom showed up on his porch naked . . .

 .  . . to retrieve her belongings and beg her elder son for money.

Then she left, and Tommy Boy cried . . .

Sorry, wrong Tommy Boy . . . 

THIS GUY cried at the loss of Mommy Mickens.  But True Blood fans did this . . .

Later that evening, little Tommy Mickens made me like him less, by picking on sweet adorable Hoyt . . .

. . . and threatening to kick his ass, for no other reason than that Hoyt used to date Jessica, who Tommy apparently has a crush on.  “She’s got a REAL MAN, now!”  Tommy insists, implying himself.

(Ummm .  . . really?  Maybe you’re a big tough guy in the DOG HOUSE, Tommy, but in the real world, you’re kind of short.  And you look about twelve.  Just saying . . .)

Sam tries to set Tommy right, and get him to start thinking about his future.  But Tommy is cranky and just wants his dog bone.

Chew slow Tommy.  Because THIS is the closest you are going to get to being BONED for a LONG TIME!

“I release you!”

“Cowardly Vampire say what?”

While Sam is working hard to be the father Tommy never had, Vampire Bill is busy treating Jessica like she never HAD a Vampire Father / Maker.   Upon returning home, following a long stay in Jackson, Mississippi, Bill is greeted with open arms by Vampire Jessica.  He rejects her affections almost immediately.  “You can’t stay here.   I can’t look after you, anymore.  I’m no good,”  Bill whines . . .

And there go those violins again . . .

But Jessica refuses to leave.  She explains to Bill how she had lost control and killed that human a little while back, and how she needs Bill’s help to control her vampiric instincts.  (Not that Mr. Messy Sookie Eater is such a good role model in the “self control” department.)

“I’ll go back on my diet, tomorrow.  I promise!”

Jess and Bill then bond over the fact that they have both broken up with the people they love (Hoyt and Sookie, respectively), because they feel they are not good enough to deserve these special humans.  HALF of them are right.  Bet you can’t guess, which half?

Eventually, the two hug it out, and Bill decides to let his “ward” stick around.  He also gives her a little lesson on fighting werewolves .  . . werewolves that will HOPEFULLY look nothing like THIS . . .

Jason Stackhouse is in LOVE . . .

 . . . and so are we . . .

While Bill is teaching Jessica how to fight off werewolves, Jason is working to fight off, whatever the heck it is that Crystal’s family IS.   (If you’ve read the books, you already know.)  Jason is at home, gearing up to kill Bill  . . .

 .  . . for what he did to Sookie, when he is interrupted by a knock on his door.  It’s THIS GIRL!

 . . . except she’s all wet and has this gross bloody eye.  Crystal claims she is being chased down by the members of her community, particularly, Felton, her arranged marriage partner, and future abusive husband.  To get away, she needs Jason’s van.  But Jason gives her his c*ck instead. 

A fair trade, if you ask me . . .

Crystal admits that Felton gave her the bloody eye, when she told him she didn’t want to marry him anymore.  This excites Jason immensely, who sees lots more bunny screwing for him and Crystal, in the near future . . .

However, since he DID promise to protect Crystal and not just f*ck her, Jason heads down to her trailer park to set things right.  There he meets the head of the trailer park, Calvin who more or less threatens his life . . .  I hope all those guns of yours are loaded, Mr. Stackhouse, because you are WAY too pretty to die!

“You are a powerful man.  I need to protect you.”

Now, I don’t know about you, but nothing makes ME feel safer than when a crazy lady waves a steak knife in my face . . .

You know who else should be investing in some weaponry to protect himself?  Lafayette.  Our favorite fry cook / V dealer came home from an evening of babysitting Sookie Glow Fingers and PTSD Tara, to find his schizophrenic nutjob of a mom wandering his house, and babbling on about protecting her son from the vampires and other supernatural creatures.  She escaped the mental institution to rescue Lafayette, because of how “powerful” he is.  And when she says powerful, she must mean “powerful in bed,” because moments later, THIS GUY shows up . . .

Sorry, wrong Jesus.  THIS GUY . . .

Jesus wishes to retrive Lafayette’s mother, and return her to the loony bin where she clearly belongs.  The pair chat some more about how bad it is that Lafayette deals V.  But before you know it, the two of them are going at it like rabbits . . .

“I’m bored.   Take off your clothes.”

“Going at it like bunnies.”  That was exactly what Talbot wanted to do with Vampire Eric, when he got tired of playing chess with him.  “I’m bored.  Take off your clothes,” demands Talbot, like the simpering toddler he is.

Eric complies, feigning a bit of shyness as he removes his Panty Dropper Blue Sweater.  “I’ve never done this before,” admits Eric.

“With another man?”  Talbot asks.

“No with another vampire,” replies Eric.

The two start “riding the pony” . . .

 . . . and getting comfortable with one another, when Eric finally urges Talbot to lay down on his stomach.  When Talbot complies, Eric stakes the poor bastard, but not before dramatically monologuing so that the poor schlub is absolutely certain he is about to meet his maker .  . . his OTHER maker.  “King Russell, you killed my family, and now I am going to kill yours,” yells Eric, as he plunges a stake into Talbots back repeatedly and fatally.

“NOOOOOOOO!”  Talbot screamed, just before he died.

“NOOOOOOO!”  TV Recapper screamed, knowing she was out one prospective interior decorator for her future home.

Goodbye, Talbot, you will always be my favorite Mississippi Queen!

But now that Talbot is gone, we must return our focus to Vampire Eric, who is now covered in his blood.  Might I suggest a bath to cleanse you of your sins, Mr Viking?

Or a shower, perhaps?

“Get out of my house, B&TCH!”

In the last few moments of the episode, Trailer Trash Debbie . . .

 .  . . and her werewolf cronies, arrive at Sookies house.   While Sookie LITERALLY wrestles with Debbie on the ground, Vampire Bill and Vampire Jessica arrive on the scene to handle the werewolf cronies.    But just when a proud Vampire Jessica is about to make her first werewolf kill, Big Gay Russell magically appears and grabs her by the neck . . .

“Us vampires travel fast, lots of frequent flier miles.”

Russell offers to give up Vampire Jessica in exchange for Sookie.  Bill is torn, for a moment, between sacrificing his lover and his “child.”  Fortunately, he doesn’t end up having to make this decision, because Jessica gets away, with her werewolf in hot pursuit.   Now evenly matched, Russell and Bill begin to literally fight over Sookie.  Just when it seems as though Bill might be done for, Russell “feels” the death of Talbot, and “flies away.”  No .  . . really.  Debbie then randomly ditches her fight with Sookie too. 

 In the last few seconds, of the episode, Bill and Sookie reunite.  As the credits begin to role, they are screwing hardcore on Sookie’s bedroom floor.  And while the scene is admittedly hotter than that time a dirty naked Bill got down with Sookie on top of some coffins in the cemetery, it still doesn’t quite “do it” for me.

Then again, what do I know?  I’m just a fan.  I can’t always expect to have my Taco Beeelll, and eat it too . . .

[www.juliekushner.com]

14 Comments

Filed under True Blood

14 responses to “The Girl Who Cried Wolf (and Beeeeeeeelllll!) – A Recap of True Blood’s “Night on the Sun”

  1. Mickey B

    very amusing recap! I’m alcide all the way!
    Have you seen this Joe Manganiello video interview? SO HOT!



    • Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting Mickey B! 🙂 And especially, thank you for finding me that interview with the sexiest werewolf ON THE PLANET! (I can’t wait until I get home, so I can watch, and drool over it. ;))

      Joe Manganiello has been an excelllent addition to True Blood this season, hasn’t he? He and Anna Paquin have AMAZING chemistry. And never has that been more apparent than during this week’s episode. I am SO glad he has been made a Series Regular, and can’t wait to see even more of him next year.

      Thanks again! 🙂

  2. Carol

    I loved this episode. BUT, it would be better without so much Beeaal. I liked the almost father/daugther bonding with Jessica, but that’s it. Taco Bill is not my favorite.

    I’m so going to miss Talbot! I really enjoyed his tantrums. I quote you “Goodbye, Talbot, you will always be my favorite Mississippi Queen!”

    Alcide and Sookie should just get together already. Like you, I’m Team Eric all the way, but Alcide is not bad in the eyes either.

    And the scene where Tommy confronts Hoyt is one of my faves. Tommy may not be tall and sure looks like twelve, but he has attitude! Hoyt, do something already! Tommy is becoming one of my favorite characters, I dunno why.

    Mommy Mickens is gone. FINALLY!

    And jason as hot as usual, but I don’t feel the need to comment his scenes. Neither Tara’s, Arlene’s, Lafayette’s or Debbie’s. And they aren’t even hot, so I really couldn’t bother to.

    • Hey Carol! Thanks for popping by!

      As you can tell, Taco Bill is not MY favorite either! 😉 I rarely eat fast food. And when I do, I’m more of a Wendy’s girl, myself :). But I too liked Bill FINALLY bucking up and bonding with Jessica, by teaching her to fight weres. I wanted to slap Beaaallly silly when he started pulling that whiny, “I can’t take care of you, because I’m SOOO BAD,” crud with her, early in the episode. (Glad he finally got over THAT, at least!)

      Sniff . . . whimper . . . sniff . . . poor Talbot. He really didn’t see it coming, did he? Here’s hoping he haunts the Mississippi mansion, and continues to provide snappy one-liners, and excellent decorating advice to its inhabitants from the Great Beyond . . .

      Alcide was so charming, sexy, and YUMMY this episode, in his white undershirt, and blue denim button-down. How Sookie resisted kissing him, I’ll never know!

      I can see why you like Tommy. I did think it was kind of cool, how he told Jessica she was hot and awesome, when she was pining over Hoyt a few episodes back. Someone had to say it! I’m a Hoyt / Jess supporter, but if Tommy can spur Hoyt into action through jealousy, he’s A OK with me.

      YIPPEE! No more Mommy Mickens = no more gross half naked Joe Lee. Let’s keep it that way!

      And a Shirtless Stackhouse Alert, to boot. All in all, a pretty stellar episode, save the loss of Talbot, and the “finding” of Beeeaaaalll . . .

      See you next week! 🙂

  3. imaginarymen

    I don’t think I can forgive Eric for staking Talbot. That, plus the fact that Anna Paquin has WAY more chemistry w/ Joe whathisface than she does with Bill OR Eric, makes me OVER Eric. BluePantyDropperSweater or no.

    Yeah I said it – I’m Team Alcide!!

    I can’t believe you let Crystal get a “THIS GIRL”! She bugs me so much. And not just bc she gets to show up at Jason’s house and get laid, squeeze his sexy ass shoulders and get carried into his shower. BUT that does not HELP her cause with me in any way ;-ppp

    And Sam Merlotte is my hero once again. Between giving his trashy mother the kiss off, to hugging terrified Tara, to giving his dumb ass brother a job – but mostly for telling Tommy “Hoyt is not a dick”!

    Speaking of – dear god him driving in his truck TERRIFIED me. As you know I live in constant fear of DeadHoyt. Loved that Jessica admitted her love for him to Bill, and her sadness at not feeling worthy of him.

    That Jesus is HOT! Damn he’s a cutie and love him w/ Lafayette. I really don’t want L to be some supernatural creature too though. He’s just naturally awesome as far as I’m concerned.

    I’m glad we know the truth about Arlene’s baby and that it’s not a Maenad Orgy Baby! It will be interesting to see where that leads.

    This was a good ep mostly bc it was lighter on the Vampire Royalty stuff which I just cannot make myself care about. And there was lots of shirtless men, and hot boy-on-boy action ;-p

    • It will be really interesting to see whether Alan Ball listens to fans and alters his story to accommodate the popular SHIPS. As far as I can see, EVERYONE is Team Eric or Team Alcide, and NO ONE is Team Beeeaaaaaaaalllll. (Well, at least no one who’s brave enough to admit it to me ;)).

      And yet, Alan Ball repeatedly changes the story from the books to put BILL with Sookie EVEN when the books had them broken up. (GRRRRRR!) So, maybe, he will change the books again, to give Alcide a chance at Sookie, even though their relationship in the books never progressed quite as far as I wanted it to . . . Here’s hoping. (Anything for another shot of naked Joe Manganiello!)

      LOL. I should have mentioned that “This GIRL” and “THIS GUY” have different meanings entirely. THIS GUY is a term of endearment and/or lust. THIS GIRL means I’m too lazy to write the female character’s name ;).

      Sam is “good people.” Here’s hoping he gets some loving soon, either with Tara or with that new Holly chick . . . you just KNOW that’s coming . . .

      Trust me, there will NEVER be a DeadHoyt! (At least not in the first ten seasons / first ten books). Have no fear! 🙂

      Speaking of dead, it would be kind of random if Lafayette ended up having Supernatural Powers, seeing as HIS character bit it early on in Book 2. Could Jesus perhaps be his Fairy Godfather? 🙂

      Is it evil that I kind of want Serial Killer Rene back? The actor who plays him was pretty cute, and really amused me with his faux accent. Maybe Rene has a “good twin” somewhere . . . who can make this happen.

      Thanks for your awesome comments, as always! 🙂

  4. Amazon Annie

    Another class recap KJewls. I always like the episode better after reading your blog. I will miss Talbot too. But Eric couldn’t let Talbot toss around and smash his “family jewels” (I’m talking about the crown…not the er.. other ones) Since Russell killed Erics mom and dad while he was busy porking a peasant, (ah I love alliteration), I guess turn about is fair play. But why TALBOT. I just read a book where a vampire was “devamped” and made into a nice vampire again. Wonder if we could try that with Talbot. As they say in the old westerns….bring him back….DEAD OR ALIVE!
    I too am liking Alcide much better than Sookies other “love interests” lately, but alas…I read the books. Thanks for the great recap and all the laughs

    • Thanks for the kind words, Amazon Annie! 🙂

      It’s funny, I was so upset over Talbot, I almost forgot he was “playing with the OTHER family jewels” LOL. I kind of feel like as far as vamps go, Talbot was pretty much as nice as they come. He was just an innocent victim in all this. So, he fondled some jewels. So WHAT? We all fondle jewels some times . . . 😉

      From the looks of things, it seems that Team Alcide is growing in numbers. Better up your game, Eric Northman! You’ve got some SERIOUS competition now! 😉

      See you next week!

  5. nice write-up (as always!)
    and i have one question (again, like always!): why did Sookie have that giant scrap book for her ONE picture of herself and Bill? was it supposed to be some kind of metaphor for all of her unfulfilled hopes and dreams or did she not have a picture frame? and when did she have time to put that thing together, anyway? i would imagine working full time, having wild & passionate sex with a vampire, being mean to your bestie and getting your ass kicked every three days wouldn’t leave a whole lot of time for arts and crafts.

    • “i would imagine working full time, having wild & passionate sex with a vampire, being mean to your bestie and getting your ass kicked every three days wouldn’t leave a whole lot of time for arts and crafts.”

      LOL! And here I thought vampires didn’t show up in photographs! Shows how much I know! 🙂

      Coincidentally, if Sookie wants, I have a TON of Sookie and Bill pictures to fill her scrapbook. (More pictures of Naked Eric and Alcide, but still . . .) Yeah, I thought the whole scrapbook scene was a little weird. Scrapbooking just doesn’t seem like a very “Sookie thing” to do. Grams maybe, but not Sookie . . .

      I guess it was supposed to imply that Bill and Sookie were so busy fighting evil maenads, getting kidnapped and beaten up, and accidentally draining one another of blood, that it didn’t leave a lot of time to pose for photos. Or maybe Sookie just couldn’t afford a camera with good night vision on a waitress’ salary. Who knows? 😉

      You cracked me up as usual, Lola! Thanks for reading! 🙂

    • imaginarymen

      LMAO!! I thought that was hilarious too! One picture does not a scrapbook make!

      And with all the fun stuff you can get for scrapbooking, why didn’t Sookie get some stickers of dripping fangs? Sparkly letters that spell out “Vampire”? Photos of her bitemarks?

      Really Sookie, that is some sorry ass scrapbooking. Just buy a cheap frame and be done with it.

      • WOAH! THAT would be an awesome scrapbook! It just occurred to me that HBO and Alan Ball are missing a fabulous opportunity for cash here. “Sookie’s Scrapbook” would be the coffee table book to end all coffee table books! It would sell out at Barnes and Nobles everywhere!

        She could have a “Merlotte’s” page with True Blood Bottle caps on it, an old cocktail napkin, a piece of her uniform, and a picture of that cute dog Sam always turns into. She can have a “Fangtasia” page. Same basic deal. How about a “My Brother Jason” page, complete with a Shirtless Stackhouse collage? 😉

        Now, this is something I might buy . . . or make. Anyone else with me? 🙂

  6. Rain

    Tara and Franklin were my absolute favorite parts of the whole season! Their sex scenes weren’t just the passing by ‘Jason Screws Random Chick’ scenes like usual, but instead they were so passionate and deep! I still can’t find my underwear I wore that day… Oh and Tara’s climaxing was absolute genius! I could feel myself rocking with Franklin~ahhhh, how I wish I had him in my arms and feel his scrubby chin against my cheek. If I were her I would’ve just looked at him like he was crazy and later cry-acting scared-and then kiss him and say ” You’re the only one for me.” It would have really screwed with his head! You can’t get any better than f*cking with a psycho~…

    …Well other than meeting Talbot and Jesus, the hottest pieces of action since Jason arrived on scene in the first season-cleaning up his mess 😉 if ya know what I mean.

    NOOOOOOO! Talbot! You were my all time favorite Queen! I wish Eric hadn’t killed you >.< Now we have to deal with Beeeeeellll and SookieSookieNow relationship crap. Just go with Alcide already you brain damaged ho! He is the sexiest werewolf I have seen so far! Go for that hunky piece of meat! It'll only last 7 months at most anyways-in dog marriage years I suspect.

    Only if Tommy had decked Hoyt, then maybe Jessica would have-nope. Sorry my imagination went crazy for a second to imagine Jessica hooking up with a mini-me version of Franklin and Sam jumbled together=Psycho Shifter. No, just kidding! I love you Tommy! Please don't die! Sam better not have shot you or else I'm gonna have to make a call to Mommy Mickens. That's right, Sam. Fear the power of sucking up to middle aged wash outs! Be afraid. Be very afraid.

    • Rain, your comment CRACKED ME UP! Man, I miss True Blood! “Sookie Sookie NOW!” LOVE IT! Thanks for making me smile today.

      Franklin always creeped me out a bit, but he was an INSANELY fun character, wasn’t he? With his “I love you’s,” and his “speed texting,” and his feeding Tara flowers, and his acting genuinely hurt that Tara wouldn’t want to spend eternity living with him, while wearing that ridiculous white sheet he made her wear!

      I do think they got rid of Franklin too soon, because he was excellent comic relief!

      And I love Alcide too! Even though I’m a staunch Sookie – Eric fan, I would be MORE than happy for her to have a stopover at Alcide, if only so that we would get to see that beautiful were body all hot and nekkid! For what it’s worth, I do think we will be getting to see SOME Alcide / Sookie loving next season, even though it will be predominately Sookie / Eric based Chapter.

      I adore your take on Tommy, as a cross between Franklin and Sam. What is cool about the relationship between Tommy and Jess is that they are SO much alike. Both are supernatural creatures in puberty. Both are headstrong, emotional, and a tad bratty. Both have little filter between what thoughts enter their brains, and what ultimately comes out of their mouths. Though I do like Jess and Hoyt, a lot as a couple, I can definitely see Tommy and Jess being VERRRY hot together, as well.

      After all, crazy people DO have the best sex. Just ask FRANKLIN! 😉

      Oh, and I hope Talbot comes back as a Hot Gay Ghost and haunts Eric’s ass. 🙂

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