“Hi, Mom!” – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “Kill or Be Killed”

“Sheriff Liz Forbes, you just found out your daughter is a vampire, what are you going to do now?”

“Ummm, go underground, and wait for my brainwashing?”

This week on The Vampire Diaries . . .  an “Origins” story was told . . .

 . . . vampires unwittingly found themselves thrown “out of the closet,”

 . . . a mother/ daughter relationship was put to the test . . . and failed miserably;

 . . . a BRAND NEW BROMANCE was born;

Do you hear that?  That’s the sound of half-a-million gay male TVD fans simultaneously typing up Jyler Slash Fanfiction . . .

 . . . and “The Game” was irrecovably changed.

Let’s take a look back at how it all went down, shall we?

“Oh my GOD, you killed JIMMY (wait . . . who’s Jimmy, again)?”

The episode begins with a flashback to a year prior.  The location is Some Random Town, Florida.  Despite the distinct locale, Mason is drinking at a bar that looks suspiciously similar to the Only Bar / Social  Establishment in Mystic Falls (because the same set was used?).  He settles his tab, and stumbles out into the night. 

Some Drunk Loser named “Jimmy” follows him outside.  “Jimmy” looks kind of like that Carrot Top guy.

“Jimmy” immediately attacks Mason, even though Mason repeatedly claims that the two are “friends.”  But Jimmy doesn’t care that Mason is his “friend.”  He just keeps babbling on about Mason being with Jimmy’s girlfriend, some chick named “Marla.”  Mason vehemently denies this.   In fact, upon hearing the suggestion that he and  “Marla” have been having Sexy Wolfy Times together, Mason makes a face like this . . .

Because of this, even though we never get to see “Marla,” I sort of imagined the woman as Marla Hooch from that old movie, A League of Her Own.

a.k.a. Carrot Top’s Jimmy’s sultry GF

Mason begins warning “Jimmy” to back off, or else “very bad things” will happen to him.

“You’re making me angry.  You wouldn’t like me, when I’m angry.”

But Jimmy doesn’t back down.  It’s almost as though some “unseen force” has compelled him not to back down.

History repeating?

Eventually, Mason loses it, and pushes Jimmy to the ground . . . HARD.

Nice knowing ya, Carrot Top Jimmy.

Back in the present day, Mason is explaining to Tyler how Jimmy’s death activated the Lockwood Curse for him.  “Any death caused by your hand will activate the curse,” he restates.

Now, every Full Moon, Mason has to get naked . . .

. . . and chain himself to something HARD (kinky!), or else, he will KILL EVERYTHING IN HIS PATH.

It was a very powerful scene between Uncle and Nephew.  But you know what would have made it even more powerful?  If the exchange was made while the boys were out jogging shirtless . . .

Just a suggestion for next time, Kevin Williamson . . .

Anyway, always a big fan of the quid pro quo, Mason takes this opportunity to inquire after his Family Jewels . . .

And yet, since Tyler still has information he wants from Mason (such as why Mason’s Family Jewels are so very small so important to him), Tyler decides to continue to manhandle the Jewels by himself, for a while longer.  Therefore, he once again, lies to Mason about their whereabouts.

Speaking of Big Fat Liars . . .

“The Truth” is for pussies!

Stefan and Elena are still carrying on their “We’re Going to Pretend to Break Up, So Katherine Doesn’t Eat One of Us” Ruse from last week.  Elena, of the “I only believe in PDA when it will make the boy I pretend to hate, but secretly Luuuuuuuuuuuuve, really jealous” School of Dating . . .

It’s OK, Elena.  Daddy LIKES to watch!

. . . starts pouting about how very, very hard it will be for her, not to be able to smother Stefan with kisses, and grab his tight firm ass, every second of the day.

To appease his whiny girlfriend, Stefan comes up with a code they could use to communicate with eachother, during their public Fake Breakup.  “When I say, ‘I can’t do this, anymore,’ what I really mean is ‘I love you.'”

Oh, that boy is GOOD.

“And when I say, ‘Fine, Whatever,’ it really means ‘I love you too,”’ offers Elena.

OK, I’m sorry, Elena, but that was LAME!  First of all, Stefan already knows you love him almost as much as you love Damon.  Couldn’t you at least have rewarded him by making your code into Dirty Talk?  (Example: “Fine, Whatever” = I would very much like to suck your big vampiric &$#@!”)

Oh, and while we are on the subject, who the heck “breaks up” with someone, by using the words “Fine, Whatever?”

“Ummmm . . . hi, Elena?  This is 1995 calling.  We would like our ‘Fine, Whatever’ back  . . .”

Meanwhile, somewhere across town, Caroline . . .

. . . is trying to convince her absentee Mom, that the reason that she has been moody lately, is because she is “on the rag,” and not because she now occasionally snacks on nurses, ex-boyfriends, and random guys she meets at the school carnival.

Speaking of the aforementioned school carnival, this week’s Town-Related Event-Designed-to-Put-All-the-Main-Characters-in-the-Same-Place-at-the Same-Time is “Volunteer Day.”

(Is it just me, or do these “events” get lamer, every week?  I mean, at least the Founder’s Day stuff was cool.  But cleaning a park?  Seriously?  What’s next, “Take Your Werewolf to Work Day?”)

Do I at least get a free t-shirt?

Adventures in Homoeroticism – Part 1

“I just can’t do this anymore, Mason.”

“Fine, whatever, Stefan . . . Let’s f&*k!”

Did you notice how VERY touchy feely our Sexy TVD boys were this week?  And did you also notice that this “touchy feely-ness” seemed to peak when they were in scenes TOGETHER, and WITHOUT GIRLS.  Here’s our first example of the evening . . .

Stefan gets up close and personal with Mason at Town-Related Event-Designed-to-Put-All-the-Main-Characters-in-the-Same-Place-at-the Same-Time Volunteer Day.  He tells Mason that he is the “nicer brother,” and, as such, he would like to apologize on his “less nice brother’s” behalf for that whole “trying to murder him” thing.

“Oh, come on!  Don’t try to tell me you didn’t enjoy it.”

But Mason is not interested in Stefan’s half-assed apology, nor does he care to come to any sort of “truce” with the Salvatore brothers.  “I made that same offer to your brother, last week.  And he turned it down,” counters Mason.  “Tell your brother to watch his back.”

“Oh no you didn’t, just threaten my Insanely Gorgeous Older Brother, and expect that would be OK with me!”

Mason doesn’t know it yet, but his careless words have acted as an unspoken invitation for Dark Stefan to come out and play . . .

“Heeeeeeeeereeee’s Stefffy!”

Stefan ever so subtly begins to invade Mason’s personal space, so that the pair’s faces are almost touching.  “Well, I guess you will have to wait until a Full Moon then.  Otherwise, you are not as strong, or you would have already killed Damon,” Stefan suggests, venom pouring from his pink puckery lips.

“There’s only one of you . . .

ONE

. . . but there are TWO of us . . .

TWO

. . .  maybe YOU’RE the one who needs to watch his back.”

The now SCHOOLED, Mason, having been promised by Steffy that Damon would stay away from him, reluctantly shook Dark Stefan’s hand and skulked back into the forest, his wolfish tale between his legs.

Then Damon magically appears . . .

Ever the expert at Personal Space Invasion . . .

 . . . Damon wastes no time getting all up in Stefan’s grill about the conversation he just overheard . . .

Dark Stefan, may I have this dance?”

“I don’t wannnnnnt peeeeeaaaace!”  Damon whines petulantly.

“Well, then consider it Opposite Day,” Stefan retorts.

“Do you really think a handshake will make this all go away?”  Damon asks incredulously

“No, I think he is going to try to kill you and me.  Like we don’t have enough problems, already.  So, thanks!”  Stefan replies smartly.

“Oh, you’re very welcome!  Cheers!”

Adventures in Homoeroticism – Part 2

Tired of being left out of all of his sister’s PowWows of Sexiness and Plot Explanation, and unceremoniously rejected from the Salvatore Detective Agency, Jeremy decides to take matters into his own hands.  Elena has already told him that Mason Lockwood is a werewolf, but nobody seems to know yet whether Tyler is one as well.

This sounds like a job for Mini Gilbert!

At the Only Bar / Social Establishment in Mystic Falls, Jeremy casually wrangles his way into a sort of / kind of double date at the Lockwood Mansion, along with Tyler, Slutty Amy, and New Girl, Slutty Sarah (played by Majara Walsh) . . .

At the Lockwood Mansion, Slutty Sarah and Slutty Amy dance drunkenly to songs from The Vampire Diaries Soundtrack (specifically, Obsession, by Sky Ferriera – GREAT SONG, by the way), while Tyler and Jeremy give eachother longing looks across the room. 

“Hmmm . . . I wonder if Jeremy has an Endzone Dance as cool as mine.”

Then, Jeremy accidentally / on purpose exposes his drawings of werewolves to the slutty group.  The girls think the pictures are “icky,” but Tyler takes the bait.  Steam coming out of his ass ears, Tyler excuses himself, and drags Jeremy into a nearby room, where he pushes him up against a wall and makes passionate love to him tries to strangle him.

Poor Jeremy, always in peril . . . kind of like Dawn on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

“GET OUT!  GET OUT!  GET OUT!”

“I know what you are,” gasps Jeremy.

Tyler eventually chills out, and the pair share a heart-to-heart, during which the Not-Yet-Werewolf relays to Jeremy, the ENTIRE Mason Lockwood Storyline, as it has unfolded thus far.

“Woo hoo!  *sings*  I know something Elena doesn’t know!  I know something Elena doesn’t know!”

Unfortunately, while Tyler and Jeremy are busy fondling Mason’s Family Jewels together . . .

. . .  Slutty Amy and Slutty Sarah pop in, and decide that they want to fondle Mason’s Family Jewels too.  In fact, Slutty Sarah would very much like to fondle Mason’s Family Jewels with Jeremy in Tyler’s bedroom.  But Jeremy is not down with that. 

So, Tyler, always up for everyone Sloppy Seconds, chases Slutty Sarah up the staircase and grabs for Mason’s Jewels.  The sudden movement catches Slutty Sarah off guard and she FALLS DOWN THE STEPS!

Is she DEAD?  Will Tyler become a werewolf now?

Unfortunately (Oh, come on!  Don’t get all self-righteous with me.  Slutty Sarah was REALLY annoying!), the answers to both of those questions are a resounding “No.”  Slutty Sarah gets up after a few moments without so much as a scratch on her. 

OK . . . how many of you want to bet that SHE’S not human, EITHER! 

(Is anyone human on this show, anymore?   If they tell me Elena is a Fairy next week, I will be SO PISSED!)

“Hey!  I resemble that remark!”

Never Trust Little Girls Bearing Lemonade . . .

“Sure!  NOW you tell me!”

While Stefan and Elena are having their silly fake fight (which nobody, except maybe Caroline, believe for a second) . . .

“Grrrr!  I’m so mad right now that I could just EAT YOU!”

. . . Mason is busy trying to convince Sheriff Forbes, or “Liz” as everyone was suddenly calling her today, that her good ole buddy Damon Salvatore was a real undead bloodsucker.

Just a minor little quibble here.  If Damon was able to hear EVERYBODY ELSE’S conversations during this episode, why couldn’t he hear THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE?

Mason eventually promises to prove to “Liz” once and for all Damon’s “true colors” (red and black, of course).

Damon first starts to get suspicious when he kindly tries to help Liz with her inability to relate to her daughter, and Liz, more or less, blows him off.

“Is this because I stopped following you on Twitter?”

But the Poo REALLY hits the fan when a suspiciously cute little girl offers Damon  . . . LEMONADE . . . and he DRINKS IT!

Oh, the horror!

Apparently, Mason and Liz had laced the glass with vervain.  The nefarious pair watches as Damon clutches his chest and falls to the ground  — his loyal brother Stefan at his side, helping him to his feet.  Once Damon comes back to himself, he is PISSED!

“I am PISSED!”

Stefan tries to calm down Damon as he rages against that D-bag Mason.  “I’m gonna kill him,” Big Bro seethes.

Stefan .  . . agrees.

“Well HELLO, Dark Stefan!  I didn’t expect to see YOU back so soon!”

“I don’t like it.  He is making threats, and we need to put him down,” says Dark Stefan in his best Tony Soprano voice.

The two corner Mason in the woods, and are about to jump his ass, when shots ring out.  Both Damon and Stefan fall to the ground, each SHOT MULTIPLE TIMES IN THE CHEST!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It was all a RUSE!  The Salvatore Brothers were set up by Wolfy Mason and Evil Liz, and shot with bullets of wood and vervain!

Fortunately, for the boys, Caroline, who is “comforting” Elena about her “break up,” gets suspicious when she sees her mother rushing into the forest, and uses her Super Vampire Hearing to track the vampires to that slave quarters / dungeon Mason had tied himself up in a few weeks back.

“Hey, when we’re done doing this whole ‘Save Your Boyfriends’ thing . . . I just heard there’s a big sale at the Gap.  Wanna go?”

Liz starts peppering a half conscious Damon and a completely unconscious Stefan (yeah . . . because talking to sleeping people is TOTALLY an affective interrogation tactic) about the vampires of Mystic Falls.  When the Sleepyheads don’t answer, Evil Liz and her Police Boy Minion decide to stake their asses.

Outside, Elena and Caroline are arguing.  You see, Caroline has just TOTALLY kicked that Weenie Mason’s ASS, like the HBIC champ she NOW is . . .

 So, Elena figures it’s high time both girls enter the dungeon, guns blazing, to save Elena’s boyfriends a.k.a. Caroline’s Punching Bag and Fellow Bunny Hunter, respectively.  When Caroline refuses to enter the dungeon, out of fear of being exposed as a vamp to her mother, Elena rushes in alone.

Unfortunately, when it comes to Heroic Rescue, mere human Elena is sort of a D-student, so it’s up to Caroline to bail her out.

Within about two seconds, Vamp Caroline has taken a big lethal bite out of Police Boy, and cheerily offered a polite “Hi Mom,” to Evil Liz.

“What’s wrong?  Do I have something in my teeth?”

Cut to a very weak Stefan chowing down on Peter Rabbit . . .

 . . . while Damon finishes off Caroline’s Police Boy . . .

Is it wrong that I find this photograph incredibly erotic?

Caroline then begs her mother to keep her little vampire secret, when Damon refuses, Caroline warns her, “he’ll kill you.”

“So kill me,” Evil Liz says sadly.

Ever the gentleman, Damon moves to oblige his lady, grabbing her by her neck like a rag doll, and pushing her up against the wall.  Everyone screams.  However, they needn’t be so worried.  “Relax, you’re my friend,” says Damon, gently placing Evil Liz back on the floor.

Something tells me that Damon’s definition of “friend” is a bit more expansive than mine . . .

“Did you get some bunny in you?” Caroline sweetly inquires of Stefan, as the Scooby Gang leave the dungeon.

“Yes, I am feeling much better now, thanks,” says Stefan with a smile.

How cute are these two?

After setting Evil Liz up with high thread count sheets, and letting her call in sick to work, Damon tells Liz that she will stay down there for three days until the vervain leaves her system, and then he will compel her to forget that all of this has happened.  Before leaving, Damon sweetly tells Evil Liz that she should be nicer to her vampire daughter.  “My daughter is gone,” says the Wicked Witch.

“You have no idea how wrong you are about that, she’s going to outlive your ass for centuries” Damon concludes.

Now we have seen Damon’s humanity in his self-sacrificing dealings with, not just Elena and Stefan, but also with Caroline and Liz.  His most recent kindness does not go unnoticed by Elena . . .

MOMMY LIKE!

Sometimes Bunnies Just Don’t Cut It . . .

“My Precious!”

Back at La Casa de Rich and Awesome, Elena catches Stefan ogling those telltale hospital blood bags that made him go all CRAZZZZZY last season, as if they are nudie magazines.  When Elena looks at him with her trademark judgy eyes, Stefan tells her how Katherine built up a tolerance to vervain, by ingesting a little bit each day.  He believes he can do the same thing with blood.

“I almost died tonight.  This is the only thing that will make me strong enough to defeat Katherine.  If I can’t change, I can’t protect you,” explains Stefan.

“Vampire with an addictive personality, say WHAT?”

Elena storms off, just as she did with Stefan during their fake fight, only this time, the fight is REAL.

Upstairs at La Casa de Rich and Awesome, Elena finds a Sad Caroline, who is afraid to go home, because Katherine is waiting for her to rat out Stefan and Elena.

Caroline confesses that Katherine threatened Matt’s life . . .

. . . and that’s when she decided to do Katherine’s bidding.  “I’m really scared of her,” says Caroline.

“You should be,” says Elena, except she doesn’t know exactly why.

Damon arrives home as Elena is heading out.

“Caroline is sleeping on the coach,” Elena whispers to Damon.

“And you?”  He inquires.

“I’m sleeping in your bed going home,” she replies, a bit wistfully, in my opinion.

“What you did for Caroline’s mom,” Elena adds.  “That was the Damon that was my friend.”

WOO HOO!  Delena Fans?  It is SO ON!

Since Elena has shared this VERY IMPORTANT piece of information with Damon (not to mention, gave him a nice eye f&*king for good measure), the Elder Salvatore brother decides to respond in kind.  “Stefan didn’t drink the People Blood.  But he NEEDS to.  And, deep down, you know that,” he concludes.

Elena ponders Damon’s GORGEOUS EYES and big . .  . ahem . . . heart words for a moment, before returning to Stefan.  “I don’t want you to do this alone,” she says to her loving bloodsucker.

After receiving confirmation that he will be able to control himself, upon imbibing just a few drops of human blood per day, Elena gallantly offers Stefan her wrist.  He sucks from it.  It is SUPER HOT!

“It’s you and me, Stefan .  . . always until the writers decide it’s Damon’s turn,” whispers Elena, as her eyes roll back in her head in ecstacy from all that licking and sucking.

In Other News . . .

“Mason can have his Family Jewels.  I still have a Big Stick, and NO ONE is taking that away from me except for maybe Jeremy, if he really wants it.”

Back at Lockwood Mansion, Tyler’s experience almost killing Slutty Sarah has given him a whole new outlook on the Werewolf Curse.  He wants no part of it.  And so, Tyler finally decides to give Mason his Family Jewels.

“Yee haw!  I finally got my balls Moonstone back!”

After rubbing his jewels a bit, Mason decides he’d prefer if someone else rubbed for him, and so he gets into a car with . . . KATHERINE!

“Why do I feel like I’m watching the last five minutes of The Usual Suspects all over again?”

A brief flashback confirms, more or less, that Katherine courted Mason a year back, knowing of the Lockwood curse.  She then, most likely, compelled Jimmy . . .

 . . . to think that Mason cheated with Marla . . .

 . . . and attack him.  It was KATHERINE who wanted the Moonstone all along.  The question is “WHY?”

As the episode concludes, we see Mason and Katherine screwing like bunnies . . .

Not those bunnies . . .

 . . . thus proving that Nina Dobrev is the LUCKIEST ACTRESS IN THE WORLD!  Seriously!  How would you like to get paid somewhere in the neighborhood of 30K an episode to make out with Ian Somerhalder . . .

Paul Wesley . . .

 . . . and Taylor Kinney . . .

Ummm . . . Nina . . . if you ever get tired of this gig, you know who to call! 😉

[www.juliekushner.com]

15 Comments

Filed under The Vampire Diaries

15 responses to ““Hi, Mom!” – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “Kill or Be Killed”

  1. Carol

    Okay, this episode was full of touching between the Salvatores, the Lockwoods and the Gilbert. All the fangirls are probably going insane now. The Writers are smart.

    Tyler and Jeremy are so doing it. And that Slutty Sarah, I knew her from somewhere. She is that girl, from Cory in the House, a Disney show. How I remember her I don’t know, because I only watched a episode or two.

    “(Is anyone human on this show, anymore? If they tell me Elena is a Fairy next week, I will be SO PISSED!)” I laughed aloud. Sure it would be and interesting twist in the storyline.

    Caroline kicking Mason’s ass. I knew it, HBIC scene.

    Liz is such a bad mother. It’s not like it’s Caroline’s fault that she’s a vampire now, right? “My daughter is gone” = Bitch.

    ““Did you get some bunny in you?” Caroline sweetly inquires of Stefan, as the Scooby Gang leave the dungeon.
    “Yes, I am feeling much better now, thanks,” says Stefan with a smile.”
    First, I hated Stefan. Now I ship him with Katherine and Caroline. I dunno, those couples seems more interesting than Stefan & Elena.

    ““What you did for Caroline’s mom,” Elena adds. “That was the Damon that was my friend.”” WOOHOO

    Katherine and Mason? DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. Seriously, now I’m interested in the Moonstone thing.

    And yeah, Nina Dobrev is the luckiest actress alive.

    • It’s interesting. Some spoilers I’ve read definitely seem to hint at, without explicitly confirming, a Jeremy / Tyler rendezvous. And yet, up to this point, Jeremy at least, has seemed distinctly hetero — genuinely falling in love with both Anna and Vicki. (Maybe he’s bi?) Even if they are not romantically coupled, I suspect that Tyler and Jeremy will at least become the next Damon and Alaric bromance: fighting crime, kicking ass, and making snarky comments along the way. Mommy like!

      I was completely furious with Caroline’s mom throughout this episode, both for being a crappy mother to her daughter when she THOUGHT she was human, and for completely disowning her, after learning she wasn’t. Honestly, it just seemed really out of character for “Liz,” especially given the kindness and vulnerability we have seen her exhibit in earlier episodes. But hey, it got Elena to see the softer side of Damon again, so who are us Delena fans to complain, right? 😉

      Speaking of Damon and Elena, I was discussing this with a buddy of mine (Amy over at imaginarymen, specifically), and we predict that Stefan’s plan to “develop a tolerance for human blood” will fail miserably, and only serve to throw Elena more quickly into Damon’s arms. CAN I GET A HELL YEAH!

      I like Stefan too, and I would LOVE to see him have hot Hate Sex with Katherine, or snark and laugh with Caroline. The thing about Elena and Stefan is that they are just too much a like. Katherine and Caroline bring out in Stefan dark and fun sides of him, that we just never see, when he’s with Elena. But, fear not! If this show lasts long enough (which I HOPE it will, because it SHOULD), we will probably get to see every conceivable coupling imaginable, including the ones we are all rooting so hard for.

      YES! I remember Slutty Sarah as Inna with the ANNOYING FAKE ACCENT from Cory in the House as well. I’ve been told she also had a guest starring role on Desperate Housewives. Go figure . . .

      I really like how they tied together the Katherine storyline and the Mason werewolf storyline. Very clever. I too am curious about Mason’s Family Jewels, and why Katherine wants them so bad. (pun intended ;)) So, because I am such a dork, here is an article I found listing the purported supernatural powers possessed by the Moonstone.

      http://yaiolani.tripod.com/artc9.htm

      Let the speculation begin!

      ARGH! I can’t believe we won’t be seeing another TVD episode for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! I’m going to miss fangirling with you all, for sure!

  2. Cherie

    Awesome recap! Especially loved the Personal Space Invasion part. And your well informed, scintillating observation about how to increase the power of the Nephew and Uncle scene. Seriously, Plec and Williamson should get you, Amy, Carol, Annie and me in as consultants! The female population of TVD viewing audience would forever be in our debt 🙂

    Any red blooded woman with a pulse and in her right (or wrong!) mind would find that pic of Damon incredibly erotic too! IS’s mouth is just so eminently kissable, even when covered in dead deputy’s blood :). He is such a spunk!

    Loved Katherine’s car – it was the embodiment of her personality and I squeaked “Ohhh, Kat’s car!” when it appeared on screen. It just screams HBIC! Is it wrong that I would love to go on a roadtrip with Kat? Would just have to make her promise not to bite me first 🙂

    Mason definitely isn’t the nice surfer dude they made him out to begin with. Don’t want him dead yet, what with his shirt-repelling wolfiness. He may have only one expression, but I stand behind my decision, with that final pic of him you gave as exhibit A. And the Mason’s family jewels joke never gets old! Maybe the moonstone is the CROWN jewel?! Hehe!

    The touchy feeliness between TVD men this week was gold, with my only gripe that Alaric wasn’t there to join in the rampant bromanciness – but Plec and Williamson probably held back so that they wouldn’t crack our screens apart with the crazy chemistry :). I am shipping Jyler SO HARD! Even drunk!girl could sense the HoYay: “Are you two having a moment??” And Jeremy’s crooked little half-smile he does made me go “Excuse me while I retrieve my panties from the floor!”

    Although human blood won’t make Stefan stronger than Katherine, who is older, it will at least allow him to be at full strength. And if his inevitable dark side that opens up drives Elena into Damon’s arms, so be it! 😛

    I think that Stefan and Damon should also start sipping Vervainade (maybe less strong than the one Damon received from the little girl to begin with!) every day so that they can build up an immunity like Katherine. Though, to be honest, Stefan was at his strongest when he was upset about Lexie. I’m sure that Katherine will push the wrong button one day and find herself on the wrong end of Mr Pointy.

    “Did you get bunny in you?” was so cute! I was originally thinking of the pair as a ship, but am thinking I might be content to have an awesome friendship instead. I am really happy that Caroline has not yet turned off the switch and taken the easy road, and seeing the whole gamut of emotions she went through in this ep really showcased what a great actress Candice is.

    It’s also so great that Nina’s kissing style is different depending on whether she is acting as Kat or Elena. Elena is much sweeter and softer, while Kat is definitely a take-no-prisoners macker!

    Lastly, I felt like a proud mother duck watching her duckling take its first swim when Damon decided to spare Liz’s life and compel her rather than kill her to solve the situation 🙂

    TWO WEEKS? NO! Wish I was a vampire so I could compell CW to speed up the schedule. There better not be any tortorous ten week breaks where I don’t get my Salvatoreo fill!

    In other exciting news, my Fangirls Forever shirt arrived! Yippee! Don’t know if Amy mentioned that I had a “Get your Riggins on-athon” with a group of friends who’ve discovered it’s easier to go along for the ride than resist my fangirliness upon my discovery of the awesomeness that is FNL 🙂

    I loved Hunger Games and would love to post you my Hunger Games equivalent from my teenage years (I checked and you can’t get the books in America). You have my email so if it’s not too forward would love you to send me your general postal details because I would love to see what you think of them – I have all five novels in one massive volume!

    • Before I begin, here’s a little GIF I found online that you might particularly enjoy. I know I did. . . 😉

      Nina Dobrev's job

      Can I just say, I LOVE your idea about us all being hired as TVD writing consultants. From your lips to Kevin Williamson’s ears, is all I’m saying. It would probably scare you to know the shameless amount of time I’ve spent daydreaming about the EXACT SAME THING. 🙂

      You’ve hit the fang on the mouth, Cherie! Those red coated lips! That was exactly what made Damon’s post-meal mouth so unbelievably sexy. And I have to say, it was REALLY nice to see a picture of a vampire who knows how to “eat clean.” So, often on these shows the vampires eat their humans like total pigs, and end up with a whole mouth full of icky red globules. (I’m looking at YOU, True Blood Vampires!)

      Damon is a classy guy, and he’s had YEARS to perfect the art of Clean Eating. Now if he could just teach it to Caroline . . . 😉

      Ahhh, Jyler *sigh* While researching the recap, I found this FABULOUS Jyler fanvid on YouTube that I almost included in the recap, but thought it might . . . ahem . . . break the mood. (Plus, I feared the wrath of “The Haters.”) However, since you are a fellow fan, I will post the link for you here . . .

      Oh, a Road Trip with Kat in her Katmobile would be awesome! Now THERE’S a girl that could party all night, and REALLY hold her liquor. Plus, between her awesome compelling powers, and her way with the men, you wouldn’t have to pay for ANYTHING! And, while I’m sure she’d get first dibs on all the guys we would inevitably meet, I for one, wouldn’t mind taking home her cast offs, if you know what I mean ;).

      Speaking of hooking up ;), very perceptive take on Kat versus Elena kissing styles. I wonder which one Ian and Paul like kissing better? (Well, technically, Ian has only kissed “Kat” but we all KNOW that distinction won’t last forever.)

      Ahh, yes Kat was totally all up in Mason’s “Crown Jewel.” I’m pretty sure she’s only using Mason to get the Moonstone, but that can sure fake lust with the best of them. (Just ask Damon . . . :()

      I like the idea of Damon and Stefan building a tolerance to Vervain like Katherine has. I wonder if such a tolerance would also enable a vampire to compel a vervain wearer or imbiber. Because THAT would make things really interesting as far as Elena and Jeremy are concerned . . .

      I’m with you. I adore Stefan’s and Caroline’s friendship / father – daughter thing so much, that I’m not quite ready to have it marred by romance. Maybe somewhere down the line, I’ll feel differently. But, now, I think they are so very cute, just the way they are. My admiration for Candice Accola as an actress grows each day. So, much so that I’m a bit mad at myself for finding Caroline mostly boring / annoying during Season 1 (with the brief Damon / Caroline compelled coupling episodes, standing apart as an obvious exception to those feelings).

      “Proud mother duck!” I love your way with words, Cherie. I really am enjoying the evolution of Damon Salvatore through Season 2. Don’t get me wrong, I loved him as two-dimensionally snarky and evil during the first few episodes of Season 1 as well. But he has evolved into such a complex and wonderful character. Of course, more important than the fact that I NOTICE this, is that Elena notices ;). Mmmm hmmmm, YES SHE DOES!

      We have to think of something TVD related to do during this week long hiatus, otherwise I may go nuts during this long Salvatoreo break! Start brainstorming . . .

      BTW, I am SO GLAD your shirt came. Please let me know if you would like me to design a Get-Your Riggins Athon tee for you as well. It would be my pleasure!

  3. Cherie

    Thank you from the bottom of my Jyler-loving heart for that vid! And that GIF makes me wish I could be Nina’s doppelganger for a day and do her TVD duties. Hard job, but someone would have to do it!

    A Get-Your Riggins On-athon tee would be awesome! Or a Riggins Rally Girl tee! Would have to include a 33 + 27 = OTP on the back! 33 is Riggins’ jersey number and 27 mine from all my sports (it’s my lucky number :))

    I would love, love a post about all the top potential/current TVD pairings (Delena, Stelena, Kefan, Kamon, Jyler and now Kason spring to mind), and maybe everyone could vote for their favourite. Kefan might give Delena a run for their money!

    Or maybe a rundown of best music moments and full scene analysis? There are SO MANY that come to mind!

    On a unrelated to TVD note, it would be cool to maybe one day have a future “Cute nerds from TV or film” feature, e.g. Seth Cohen, Moose from Step Up 2, Harry and Ron, Jim from The Office. My favourite type after jerky and snarky 🙂

    • Oooh, that TVD Shipper post idea is PURE WIN! I think we have a winner. 🙂

      And knowing what we’re going to do now, will give me plenty of time, between now and Thursday, to find appropriate screenshots, picspams, gifs, and fan vids to make a case for each pairing. 😉 You totally kick ass, Cherie! Thank you SO MUCH! 🙂

      Amy is going to be in Europe during that time, but I suspect she will have some strong opinions on this as well. 😉

      • Cherie

        Yippee!

        To work in the music angle, maybe you could have a song/score theme for each pairing.

        E.g. Delena = Bloodstream

        I put in a vote for Soccer Practice by Johnny McGovern for Jyler. This is the song that Lafayette made Jason dance to in the Laura Bush mask when J wanted V, and naturally has HoYay overtones galore!

  4. Cherie

    * future post about

  5. imaginarymen

    I’m sorry you girls will have a Sans-Salvatore week. But I, for one am THRILLED that it won’t be on while I’m winging my way to London, so I won’t miss A MOMENT!!

    I hate missing ANY “Adventures in Homoeroticism” (tm KJewls) Mommy NO like!
    ;-00

    This was like one of those classic S1 eps where I was going “HOOO! No! Whoa!!” and “Holy Sh*t!!!” every five minutes!! So much I didn’t see coming – Mason outing the Salvatores, Salvatores going all Sopranos on Mason in the woods, little girl vervaining Damon, Caroline saving the day, Stefan’s dumb-assery idea about controlling his blood intake, Mason as Katherine’s errand boy!!!

    WOO fucking HOOO Williamson and Plec!! Now if we could just get some Shirtless Salvatores in there, us Pervy FanGirls would be very very happy 😉 (I mean, I love me some Stefan in Tight Hoodies and Stefan in Tight Black Shirts and Damon in Tight Black T’s but c’mon!!! SHIRTS OFF NOW!!!)

    As much as I love the Salvatore Brothers Detective Agency, I love the Salvatore Brothers Office of Ass Kicking even MORE! For one thing, all their “meetings” involve close face-talking, personal space invading and my personal favorite – shoulder and neck grabbing. Can I be the secretary at THAT firm please???

    I was very impressed with Caroline this week and think the developing of her vamp skills, and her abilities with them are going at a good pace. I was surprised she outed herself to her mom – oh, what a girl will do for a Salvatore in peril ;-0

    I find Tyler so dull – always have – and this new arc has done nothing to endear him to me. But I WAS happy to see lil’ Hottie Gilbert back on my screen. AND SluttyAmy and SluttySarah made me LMAO as one of my best friends is named Sarah! I’m for these two forming a bromance, as long as it doesn’t interfere w/ whatever weird love/hate/brother/father/son thing he’s workin’ with Damon.

    Ohhhhh Mason – you one dumb dog boy! You were part of a plot to kill the Salvatores, you are doing Katherine’s evil bidding (which does NOT include trying to kill her fav boy toys!) – you are not long for this world I think. I don’t care how cut your body is or how much my mom swoons over your eyes.

    Speaking of my mom – WTF?? She likes Mason OVER Stefan?!?!? SHEESH – how could this person have BIRTHED ME for godssakes??? (on a shallow note – they need to match Wesley’s eyebrows to his hair – he’s going too blonde up top and too dark over the eyes and it is starting to distract me.)

    So Stefan’s plan is so stupid and is going to end tragically and I CANNOT WAIT bc I LOVE me some DarkPissyBloodaholicStefan SO MUCH! There is just so much potential for wrongness here that will impact The Big Three in major ways – I’m giddy just anticipating how f*cked up his little experiment is going to get.

    And they really need to turn DOWN the music in the back. It is so loud that the dialogue often gets lost. My mom can’t stand it, and I tend to agree – esp. since it seems like there is always music going on – is there ever a scene w/o it?? I know they’re trying to sell soundtracks but ya know, HEARING THE ACTORS would be nice.

    • Well, if Ms. Plec is telling the truth and the next installment of TVD is a “sex-pisode,” I think us fangirls will be getting our Shirtless Salvatoreo wish VERY SOON!

      Tyler actually started growing on me this episode. Of course, my warming of feelings toward him really has nothing to do with his storyline, and everything to do with hi very obvious Secret Man Crush on Mini Gilbert. As you have probably already guessed, I’m a sucker for a love unrequited, particularly when the lover in question is trying to hide true feelings from himself and others. *Cough* Delena *Cough* ;).

      That’s hilarious that you and your friend are a true life Slutty Amy and Slutty Sarah. Just to be safe, try to stay away from long staircases in the future.

      Oh, and while we’re on the subject, WHAT THE HECK is Slutty Sarah? Because NO ONE falls down a flight of steps like that, and wakes up without a scratch on them . . . That girl is DEFINITELY not human.

      I am ADORING Caroline right now, and LOVE that she is bunking at La Casa de Rich and Awesome. I truly hope she stays there, even after her mom is compelled to forget her bunny sucking ways. Just think of all the AWESOME slumber parties this crew would have!

      Oh, and Mason is definitely dog meat by the end of the Season! NO ONE messes with Salvatore Brothers and lives to tell the tale. NO ONE!

      I giggled quite a bit at your comment re: Stefan’s hair and eyebrows. As a girl who highlights her hair, I can attest to the fact that eyebrow dying is a very tricky process — one that can go VERY wrong, very fast. If you decide to do it, Stefan. BE CAREFUL! do not try that at home.

      I now consider it my personal mission to soften your mom on Stefan Salvatore. Don’t be surprised if you start getting lots of fanvids in your e-mail this week. 😉 Just saying . . .

      Have an AMAZING vacation this week! You totally deserve it! Of course, you will absolutely missed on the blogosphere. So, don’t start making this a habit, OK? 😉

  6. Amazingly amazing recap as usual. (Did you know that there’s an imdb thread dedicated to your blog? In case you haven’t seen it: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1405406/board/thread/171949986?p=)

    Imaginarymen said it in regards to the tactile, ass-kicking brothers. Concerning Kat’s vehicle, it appears that vamps, including even Stefan, like to ride in style. Oh am I the only one who thought that Stefan would be able to adjust to the human blood? Does that make me a gullible fool? Yeesh. I might be as naive as Elena.

    • Awww thanks so much Noelle! And thanks for linking me the imdb thread! I actually got SUPER excited, when I found it (not to mention wanted to give the person who first posted it there a GIANT HUG). After all, IMDB message boards are actually the first place I lurk (but am never brave enough to comment), when I want to see other fans’ thoughts on the shows and movies I am currently watching.

      And you are right. It totally fits with the over-the-top coolness factor of these TVD vampires that they all have super cool (not to mention super pricey) methods of transport, with which to travel in style! Damon’s sexed up sports car, in particular, comes to mind, when I contemplate this topic . . .

      Now, see, I LIKE that you believe in Stefan, and his ability to control his human blood consumption impulses. And it’s entirely possible that he will learn to do just that. Perhaps, its just our own wishful thinking that he will fail miserably, and DARK (but fun) STEFAN will come back out to play. That doesn’t make you naive . . . it makes the rest of us a bit twisted though . . . 😉

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