Anatomy of the PERFECT Emmy Opener

I know, I know!  By now, most of you have probably ALREADY seen Jimmy Fallon and Company’s surprisingly catchy cover of Bruce Springstein’s classic Anthem to Athleticism, “Born to Run,” which kickstarted the broadcast of this past Sunday’s 2010 Emmy Awards.  However, believe me, when I tell you that it deserves a second viewing.  Only then, can you truly capture EVERY single delicious morsel of its hand-clapping, booty-shaking, celebrity-crooning, awesomeness!  Fortunately, TV Recappers Anonymous is here to help you to break it all down . . .

Let’s re-watch, shall we?

:11 – The first step in creating the PERFECT Emmy Opener is to commandeer the cast of a new hit show to star in it with you.  If that cast just so happens to be a bunch of attractive twenty-somethings, who can sing and dance like nobody’s business, so much the better!

:38 – Now you’re going to need a gimic to tie it all together.  You can’t just have a bunch of people singing on stage for NO REASON, can you?

That will work!

:42 –  Cue the cutesy title card . . .

:57 – Anything starring Tina Fey is an automatic success.  So, it’s best to sign her up early.  Her schedule always fills up fast.

1:15 – Now, everybody pretends they DON’T watch reality television.  However, secretly, they all LOVE it.  So, a reality show-themed punchline is always sure to win a few laughs.

Bad-dancing, bad hair-having, babymaker, Kate Goselin is a TRIPLE THREAT (at least, in terms of living punchlines)!

1:34 – Every opening Emmy number needs its hotness quotient fulfilled . . .

A Booty Shaking Jon Hamm?  YES, PLEASE!

1:48 – How about a Booty Shaking Jon Hamm doing the “hippity hop” with Betty White?

1:53 – Or, perhaps, a Booty Shaking Jon Hamm BUTT HUMPING Betty White?

Even better!

2:11 – Let’s throw in a shot of Jimmy Fallon getting slushied, shall we?

2:15 – But who can we have throwing the Slushie at Jimmy?  I know . . . Jane Lynch, in her bright red track suit-wearing excellence, of course!

2:24 – Let’s Slushie Tina Fey TOO, for good measure!

2:44 – Throw in the most loveable former – Lostie on the PLANET, Jorge Garcia . . .

2:52 – . . . and a certain VERY lucky star of The Vampire Diaries (who gets to lock lips with IAN SOMERHALDER and PAUL WESLEY, on a daily basis) .  . .

3:01 –  . . . oh, and that guy from The Soup TOO!

3:44 – We all KNEW Nina Dobrev could sing . . .

 . . . she was in that American Mall musical, back in the day . . .

3:47 – Wait a minute . . . HURLEY can sing TOO?

4:05 – And Don Draper can sing?  (Am I the only one that can’t sing?)

Nice hat, Chris Colfer.

4:17 – TINA:  “Are there pants for this?”

Is that The Grinch costume?

4:23 – Tim Gunn makes EVERYTHING work!

4:26 – Let’s throw in an ode to a classic album cover . . .

Nice BUNS!

4:28 – OK, everyone . . . strike a pose!

It’s time for this baby to go LIVE!

5:02 – Randy Jackson says, “That’s cool, DAWG!”

5:20 – Show us your most adorable dance moves .  . .

6:00 – Are you ready for the BIG finish?

6:03 – The crowd GOES WILD!  They LOVED IT . . .

6:06 –  . . . even THIS GUY . . .

Now, THAT’S how you create the PERFECT Emmy opener.  Any questions?

[www.juliekushner.com]

Anatomy of a Film Franchise – Disney’s Tron Legacy

Admittedly, I might not be the ideal blogger to provide you with the inside scoop on Walt Disney Pictures’ upcoming action film, Tron Legacy.  After all, I never saw the original film, which hit theaters back in 1982, and starred that guy who played The Dude in The Big Lebowski.

Jeff Bridges

I did recently catch the original trailer on YouTube, however!  I found it highly amusing . . . though probably not for the reasons its creators intended.

Was this a comedy?

Given that the film is heading into its late-twenties, I expected the special effects to be more than a bit dated.  What I didn’t expect was the unintentional hilarity of Cheesy TV Announcer Guy.  Seriously, this guy should do stand-up!  Take, for example, this gem-like line from the trailer:  “Trapped inside an electronic arena, where love and escape do not compute.”  (Now, if only I could find an excuse to make use of this awesome phrase, in my day-to-day life . . .)

“Hi, you’ve reached TV Recappers’ phone.  I can’t take your call right now, because I am trapped in an electronic arena, where love and escape do not compute . . .”

But, before I go any further, perhaps I should give you the opportunity to enjoy the 1982 trailer for yourself . . .

Cheesy and over-dramatic as it may seem now, apparently, THIS was the film that paved the way for all of the CGI graphics and high tech special effects we take for granted today.  It also spawned a commercial EMPIRE, including a line of toys;

a cavalcade of super sexy fan geeks;

Yum!

and, perhaps, most importantly, a video arcade game featuring lots of PRETTY COLORS . . . and . . . not much else.

But, believe it or not, all this 80’s themed goodness, is NOT what prompted my interest in Tron Legacy.  Rather, it was my, way too late, introduction to THIS GUY .  . .

Meet Garrett Hedlund, age 25,who will be starring alongside Jeff Bridges in the NEW Tron Legacy.  Although the actor has been mistakenly tauted as a “newcomer” by members of the American press, he’s not.  Here’s a picture of Garrett in the 2004 film Friday Night Lights (on which the successful NBC TV series of the same name was based).

And here’s a picture of Garrett chilling with Mark Wahlberg and Tyrese, on the set of the 2005 film Four Brothers.

Here’s a picture of Garrett in that Ridiculously Bad Lindsay Lohan movie, Georgia Rule  (although, I imagine he would prefer we just forgot about that one . . . ).

“Hey, baby!  I’m thirsty!  How’d ya like to pour some beer on my SCRAM bracelet!”

Finally, here’s a screencap of Garrett taken by yours truly from the Tron Legacy trailer that aired during the movie, Inception.  It was this picture that prompted me to fall in love with Garrett, and, eventually, write this blog post . . .

Sigh!

But, perhaps you aren’t as shallow as I am.  And the appearance of Garrett alone isn’t enough to make you see this film. 

I know, Monkey.  It doesn’t make sense to me either .  . .

Well, it also stars the  Olivia Wilde, a.k.a. that enviably attractive, intimidatingly cool, and unfairly talented lady, of House and The O.C. fame.

Remember that time when she made out with Mischa Barton?

Good times!

But Tron Legacy not only has a stellar cast, it’s also absolutely destined to have an amazing soundtrack!  After all, Disney hired none other than Daft Punk to pen the film’s score.

Now, even if electronic music is not really your thing (and, I admit, it’s not usually mine), you have to appreciate the talent of a band like Daft Punk.  Technologic remains my favorite workout song of all time!  Try listening to this song and NOT getting pumped up.  (Note:  I WOULD have embedded the video for Technologic in this post, but the creepy Robo-Baby in it scares me.  Click on the link, and you’ll see what I mean . . .)

Another cool Daft Punk song is Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.  Unlike Technologic, this one has a very cool, non-scary, music video accompanying it.  Therefore, I will post it here for your viewing pleasure:

Along with a fabulous soundtrack, to promote the film, Disney will also be releasing a brand new, slightly less rainbow-y, video game, entitled Tron Evolution, as well as some brand new toys!

Most notable, among of the toys, of course, is the Sam Flynn / Garrett Hedlund ACTION FIGURE!

Sexiness that fits in your pocket!

Now THAT’S something I’d buy!

As for the trailer itself, it’s pretty intense.

“Look at me!  I’m intense!’

The basic premise of the film is that Garrett’s character, Sam Flynn, enters into the computerized world of the first film to retrieve his father, Computer Genius, Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges), who he hasn’t seen in 20-years.  And, let me tell you, they’ve got some good botox in Computer World, because the first time we see “The Dude” in the trailer, he looks like THIS . . .

But then, later in the film, the Botox must wear off, because he starts looking like this . . .

So, without further adieu, the trailer for Tron Legacy . . .

Not enough Tron Legacy goodness for you?  You can catch the other two released trailers for the film here and here.  You can also learn more about the film, here.

Tron Legacy hits theaters December 17, 2010.  Will YOU see it?

[www.juliekushner.com]

Anatomy of the BRAND NEW True Blood Trailer Released at Comic-Con 2010!

Tonight, the True Blood cast held a panel session at Comic-Con 2010 in San Diego.   I wasn’t there . . .

But I DID manage to snag a copy of the BRAND NEW trailer for the second half of Season 3, which was released during the panel session . . .

And, of course, it was AWESOME!  Check it out . . .

OK.  It’s time to ANALYZE THE HELL OUT OF THIS THING!  So, remove your jaw from the floor, retract your fangs, put your shirt (and pants) back on, and let’s get to it, shall we?

:07 – I don’t know about you, but this has always been how I preferred my Vampire Bill:  Hot, Shirtless and Chained to the Floor where he can’t get in the way of the inevitable Sookie / Eric lovefest going on nearby.

:08 – Who knew that when Franklin Mott bought Tara that UGLY ASS NIGHTY / WEDDING DRESS (probably back in the early 1800’s), he had also purchased a matching one for HIMSELF! 

(At least he finally SHAVED though.  That morning stubble must have been HELL to wake up next to . . . and I’m not talking about the one in his pants. . . )

:16 – It looks like Creepy J.J. from Big Love the Magister has got Pam!  That’s not good . . .

:17 – Hey, Vampire Bill!  That’s a nice tan your sporting!  How did . . . wait . . . uh oh!

:28 – ERIC: “I don’t know what it is.  But I know it is quite valuable.”

Look how lovingly Sookie looks at Eric, even when he is trying to pawn her off on the Big Gay Vampire King, like she’s some early 19th-century antique (Vampire Bill?).  But seriously, can you blame her?  Have you SEEN what Vampire Eric looks like in that Baby Blue Panty Dropper Sweater of his?  He can sell ME to the highest bidder, ANYTIME!

:32 – Shirtless Tommy Mickens (Marshall Allman) – Not really my cup of tea, personally.  But someone found this blog by searching for THIS EXACT IMAGE.  And I DO hate to disappoint my readers  . .  . So, here you go!

:35 – OK.  I’m confused.  When did I STOP watching the True Blood trailer, and randomly switch over to outtakes from the movie, Deliverance?

(Cringes, as “Dueling Banjos” plays in the background.)

:37 – Question: When white trash gets cleaned up, is it called “White-Washed Trash?” 

 (I didn’t like that comment Mommy Mickens made about Sam not being “family,” one bit, by the way.  But it DOES confirm what I always thought about her character.  Hint:  It rhymes with “masshole.”)

:41 – SHIRTLESS STACKHOUSE ALERT!   SHIRTLESS STACKHOUSE ALERT!

It looks like him and Crystal will be getting VERY CLOSE, VERY FAST . .  . and that her family doesn’t approve of the coupling AT ALL.  Awww . . . it’s like Romeo and Juliet . . .

 . . . if Romeo and Juliet took place in a trailer park in Louisianna . . .

:43 – Way to go Jason!  Whipping out the BIG GUNS!  (And I’m NOT talking about artillery . . .)

:53 – I just LOVE when Vampire Eric gets all up in Sookie’s personal space . . . and so does SHE!

(Note: I’m pointedly choosing to IGNORE that MEAN thing Eric said to Sookie in this scene, because his body language here CLEARLY implies otherwise . . .)

:54 – Speaking of foreplay . . .

1:00 – Of course, it wouldn’t be a True Blood trailer without at least one, “BEEEEEEEEELLLLLL!”

1:04 – It’s nice to see our former BFF’s, Sookie and Tara, bonding again.  It’s also REALLY NICE to see Tara (1) out of captivity; (2) in the sun (It means she’s not a vampire yet.); and (3) dressed in normal clothes from the 21st Century . . .

1:09 – First Deliverance, now The Matrix?  I think this trailer is broken . . .

(Actually, I’m pretty sure that Leather Chick is Vampire Spokesperson Nan from Season 2 . . .)

1:13 – White fur?  Red glowing eyes?  Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have just met our first WERE-VAMPIRE!

(Some vampire lore states that if a person consumes enough vampire blood, he or she can become a vampire without actually . . . you know . . . dying.  If that’s true HERE, and all those werewolves have been consuming Big Gay Vampire King Russell’s blood for lord knows how long, this is some SERIOUISLY BAD NEWS for Sookie and Co.)

1:14 – ALCIDE:  “I don’t take orders from vamps!”

Oooh, Alcide is SEXY when he’s angry!  And he’s sticking it to Vampire Bill too .  . . which makes it even hotter.

(By the way, I heard they just recently announced that Joe Manganiello, who plays Alcide, has officially been awarded SEASON REGULAR status!)

Here’s a little something to help you celebrate this AMAZING news!

And another SOMETHING . . .

You’re welcome.

1:19 – SOOKIE:  “If I knew what was best for me, I would have fallen in love with someone like you.”

(Get in line, Sookie!  Get in line . . .)

1:24 – SOOKIE:  “GET .  . . OUT . . . OF MY HOUSE . . . B*TCH!”

YEAH!  You go, Bad Ass Commando Sookie!

Be afraid, Trashy Debbie She-Mullet!  Be VERY afraid!

1:34 – Don’t you just HATE IT when you get stuck in the ceiling, next to the multi-million dollar chandelier!  I know I do .  . .

1:47 – You know, for some reason, every time I see Lorena, I get that song by Flo Rida stuck in my head.  “You spin my head right round, right round, when you go down, when you go down, down.”

I can’t imagine why . . .

1:53 – Poor Sookie!  If  this was any other character on this show, a picture like this would have me really worried.  But it’s SOOKIE .  . . so, I’m not.  

(No Sookie = No True Blood, and if the ratings are any indication, this show is going to be around for a LONG, LONG time!  Therefore, I’m thinking our girl is going to be just fine.  Just a little hunch I have . . .)

1:57 – Hey, I don’t like this Dream Sequence!  A Dream Sequence without a shirtless male in it, is like  . . . well . . . I don’t know what it’s like . . . something LAME though, that’s for sure! 

2:01 – Here is our first glimpse of Claudine (played by Lara Pulver). She was a fairly important character in the latter half of Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse Book series.  Unfortunately, I can’t TELL you what role she plays in Sookie’s life, because I don’t want to spoil it for you.  I CAN show it to you though . . .

(Warning: Spoilerific picture, below.)

And there you have it.  The new True Blood trailer in a nutshell.  So, what did you think?

[www.juliekushner.com]

Anatomy of a Trailer: Sex and the City 2

I was a big fan of the original HBO series, Sex and the City (based loosely on a book by Candace  Bushnell of the same name),  which ran from 1998 through 2004.  Aside from being titilatingly naughty, hysterically funny, and breathtakingly sexy, the series had a lot of really insightful things to say about what it meant to be a single woman during the early 21st century.

As I grew older (I was still in high school when the show first aired.  So, my friends and I couldn’t talk about, much less do the things shown on the show without blushing), the series became increasingly relevant to my daily life.  Even though Sex and the City has been off the air for nearly six years now, I still find myself recalling episodes and quoting lines from the show when discussing dating and relationship problems with my friends and family.  Oh, and did I mention it was FILLED with hot naked men?

When the first Sex and the City movie came out in 2008, I’ll admit that I was a bit underwhelmed.  Sure, the characters were all there, and the fashion was amazing.  Yet, it just seemed to be lacking some of the humor, fun, and light-heartedness of the original series.  And let’s face it, there WASN’T NEARLY ENOUGH SEX!!!!

So, when I heard they were making a sequel to the film, in the iconic words of Carrie Bradshaw, herself, “I couldn’t help but wonder,” are the producers of this film simply beating a dead horse (a botoxed horse, clad in Jimmy Choo horseshoes and a Vera Wang saddle, but a dead one nonetheless)?

Take a look at the trailer, and see what you think . . .

Here’s what I saw:

:11 – Growing up just outside New York City, one of the things I always loved about Sex and the City was that, it was, at its core, a love letter to Manhattan.  Too many television shows and films nowadays claim to take place in Manhattan, but are actually taped in L.A. or someplace in Canada.  I liked being able to watch the show and pick out actual places I’ve been and things I’ve done in NYC. Of course, seeing as I was a student during the entirety of the Sex and the City run, I couldn’t afford most of the places the SATC girls hung out (and, mostly, still can’t).

That being said, I love that this trailer opens with gorgeous aerial shots of NYC, shown to the tune of Jay Z’s and Alicia Keys’ “Empire State of Mind.”  The song has become a bit overplayed of late, in my opinion, but it works really well here.

:24 – One of my gripes with the original film was that, over time, the Sex and the City girls became too rich and successful and, as a result, much less relatable.  It seems like this trend will continue into the second movie.  Why does Carrie need two door men?  Isn’t one enough, Mrs. Big?

:33 – Here, it looks as though Charlotte has started her own baking business from her home, which, undoubtedly, will be instantly successful and make her into the next Martha Stewart / Rachael Ray.  I doubt any of these women have ever heard the term recession, much less experienced one. 

:35 – It appears as though the girls are attending a ritzy New Year’s Eve party in this scene.  I can tell because Gidget the Humping Dog (one of the best parts of the first movie, in my opinion) is wearing one of those goofy silver top hats that are acceptable and fashionable precisely once a year, during the hours of 8pm to 12:01 am, and then must be taken off . . . FAST!

:43 – So glad Carrie got to keep her obnoxiously-sized clothing closet from the first film, which is probably bigger than my entire apartment.  (Think I am bitter?  YES I AM!)

:51 – This looks like another fancy wedding.  I wonder who’s getting married this time . . .

:53 – Woo hoo!  Samantha Jones is SINGLE AGAIN, and ready to mingle with this hot bartender guy!  Does this mean more raunchy sex scenes?  Here’s hoping . . .

:57 – Fashion Police Alert!  Is it just me, or does Carrie look like a very skinny Magic 8 Ball dressed in an eggplant – colored mumu?

1:02 – And . . . now we are at the airport.  Where are we going ladies?  (I’ve read rumors that Carrie & Co. travel to Morocco during the film.  I’m not sure if they are true.)

1:04 – Now the ladies are riding camels and trekking through the desert? WTF!!!  I am hoping this is some sort of bizarre dream sequence.  Because, if not, ladies and gentlemen, I think we have just jumped the shark! 

Sex and the City 2 hits theaters May 28, 2010.  Are YOU going to see it?