Tag Archives: Happy Days

October 6, 2011 · 5:00 am

I LOVE YOU, MIKE CHANG! – A Recap of Glee’s “Asian F”

[ (Mildly) Important Note About the The Vampire Diaries Recap for “Disturbing Behavior”:  Hey Folks!  I suspect some of you might be scouring the home page in search of my most recent TVD recap.  All I can say is, IT’S COMING!  I was feeling a bit under the weather last night, and decided it would be best to publish a thorough recap a bit late, rather than publish a shoddy recap on time.  I promise to make it up to you, by adding plenty of extra yummy pics and GIFS into the mix! 😉  I hope you can forgive me.  The recap should be up by early this evening (probably 8 or 9ish) Eastern Standard time.  See you then, Fangbangers!]

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Would it be inappropriate for me to ask you to have my babies?  It would?  Well, could you just flash your abs at me then?

Oh, dear, sweet, Mike Chang.  You started off Season 1 as the Mysterious, Possibly Mute, Dancing Guy . . .  a guy who . . . except for during the instrumental portion of songs . . . remained largely in the background.  Then came Season 2, and our introduction to those glorious specimens of nature known as YOUR ABS.

You started dating Tina . . . and we started taking notice . . . but mostly just of your midsection.

Yes, I pasted the Abs Picture again . . . just in case you forgot what they looked like, when I pasted them two sentences ago.  You got a problem with that? 

But, now Season 3 is here . . . . Asian F has aired . . . and though it would be illegal in many states, I suspect there are many women out there, over legal drinking age, who would very much like to “Asian F” you, if  you catch my drift. 😉

So, strap on those dancing shoes, because this ode to New Directions most woefully under-appreciated club members is about to begin . . .

Finn is happy . . .

And so is his spirit animal . . .

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Be Cool, Mike Chang!

That’s right, Mike Chang!  You kick that poopyhead, Bad Influence Boyfriend!  You kick him HARD! 

Mike Chang’s dad is mad as hell.  And he’s not going to take it anymore!

“This is my mad face, which, coincidentally, is not all that different from my happy face.  Emotions are for losers . . . and people who score A minuses on their high school exams.” 

His son is on a path toward destruction!  He’s dating a vampire . . . well, at least someone who sometimes dresses like one!

Damon Salvatore finds this extremely insulting . . . 

He’s in GLEE CLUB.  And worst of all, he took a chemistry test, and received an A minus . . . an ASIAN F!  At this rate, Mike will NEVER get into Harvard!

Oh, the horror! 

Papa Chang thinks Mike might be ON DRUGS  . . . and begs Principal Figgins to force him to submit to drug tests each week.  He also wants him to . . . wait for it . . . QUIT GLEE CLUB. (NOOOOOOOOOO!)

Poor Mike!  He’s horrified of the idea of losing the part of his life, that he values most.  He promises his dad that he will do better . . . pay for a chemistry tutor, and never Asian F again (Well, at least not THAT kind of Asian F.)

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But the problem, of course, is that Mike has A LOT on his plate right now.  He’s going to Glee club practice.  He’s spending extra hours at the school helping Mr. Schue run Booty Camp.  He’s on the football team.  He’s teaching the football team to dance, as part of Coach Beiste’s requirement that they all audition for the school play.

And, perhaps, most importantly (for purposes of this episode, anyway) Mike has decided to audition for the role of Riff in the school’s production of West Side Story.  It’s a dancing part, of course.  But it’s also . . . wait for it . . . a singing part.  And we all know that singing isn’t necessarily a talent that comes naturally to Mike Chang . . .

“I’m really good at sex though.” 

Will Mike be able to juggle it all, while earning straight A’s (NOT A minuses!), AND earn the role of his dreams?  Mike decides to dance on it.  In what was my opinion, the most moving part of the episode, Mike heads alone to the dance studio rips off his shirt, to reveal a super tight, arms bearing tank top (but no abs, unfortunately), and dances his frustrations, hopes and dreams in total and complete silence.

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*insert stripper music, and lewd whistles here*

Then, he has imaginary conversations, both with his father — who values scholastic achievement above all else — and his girlfriend — who encourages his passion for dance, and the arts.  Bolstered by the power he gets from his dancing, Mike finally feels capable of unburdening himself, and telling the two people he admires most, exactly how he feels . . . Well, technically, he only does it in his mind .  . . but it’s certainly a start . .  .

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Damn straight, Tina!

And though Mike has been double booked (He is supposed to be learning chemistry right now), our hero, though a bit late, DOES, ultimately decide to audition for the role of Riff.  He does so, with one of the character’s token solos, a toe-tapping, finger-snapping number entitled “Cool,” which showcases both his trademark dance moves, and his raspy, yet surprisingly sexy, singing voice.

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“Yeah . . . I know . . . I’m awesome.  You totally want to get with this.”

Accompanying him on his audition are some pretty goofy-looking dancing football players.  (So, now we know where Mike has slacked.)

“OK guys . . . you just keep doing the hokey pokey.  And I swear, nobody is going to ever find out that I never actually taught you to dance.”

But hey, nobody’s perfect . . .

After the audition, Mike returns to the comfort of the dance studio.  It is there where he encounters his mother.  Upon noticing that he had missed his appointment with his chemistry tutor, she had arrived at the school to make sure he was OK.  UH OH!  Busted!

Tired of hiding his true self, Mike finally comes clean to his mother.  He doesn’t want to be a doctor, engineer or astrophysicist, when he grows up.  Wait for it . . . Mike wants to be . . . a professional dancer.  The notion that Mike would end up coming clean to someone in his family about his true desires was not necessarily shocking or unexpected.  What WAS shocking, however, was his mother’s response.

Mike’s mother admits that she was not as courageous as her son was, and gave up her own dreams to do what was expected of her.  She does not want that for her son.  And so Mike’s mother promises to support Mike’s dreams.  “But what about Papa Chang?”  You might ask.

“When you get the part [of Riff], we will tell him together,” Mama Chang tells her son.

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“OK . . . cool, now while I have you here.  I guess it’s also time I told you that I’ve fallen in love with a TV Recapper . . .”

And just in case you weren’t already reaching for the Kleenex at this point in the scene, there’s more!  Mike asks his mother what dream SHE gave up during her childhood.  As it turns out, she too wanted to be a dancer, but never had the wherewithal to take lessons.  “Well, I’ve been told that I’m a pretty good teacher unless you are a football player,” says Mike.

Then .  . . wait for it . . . he SLOW DANCES WITH HIS MOM!

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All together now . . . AWWWWW!

“I’m not crying . . . It’s just raining on my face.” 

But Mike wasn’t the only Gleek dancing his way to  success and satisfaction this week . . .

Brittany Runs the World (well . . . at least the gym)

I’ve decided I want to be Brittany S. Pearce for Halloween this year, and use the outfit she’s wearing here as my costume .  . . Now, if only the costume came with her legs . . . 

I told you Brittany is running for class president, last week, didn’t I?  What I didn’t tell you is that she’s running a ROCKING CAMPAIGN, one based on the notion that the student council, up to this point, has been a predominately Man’s World.  And this, in her opinion is why the “economy” of the school is going down the toilet . . . I’m sorry.  I mean, the “magical poop-stealing water chair.”

Give me back my poop, B*tch! 

So, the usually daft Brittany, in a rare show of genius, plans an all-female flash mob that begins in the halls of McKinley High, and ends in the school gym.

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And you know the darn thing is a unanimous success, when you see the faculty (even Sue Sylvester!) doing their own nerdy chair-dances, as they watch her boogie down . . .

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Speaking of (slightly nerdy) teachers . . .

More Adventures in Bad Parenting (Emma Pillsbury Edition)

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Have you ever wondered why Emma Pillsbury is . . . the way she is?  You know . . . perpetually virginal, scared of her own shadow, and OCD-tastic?

Well, Will kind of wants to know too.  After all, he would eventually like to marry this girl, and maybe even (GASP) actually bone her.

(Welcome to the ONLY man in the world, who doesn’t appear the least bit freaked out by his girlfriend’s Secret Wedding Magazine stash.   And this is despite his having, pretty much, the WORST FIRST WIFE EVER!).

Two Words:  Fake . . . Pregnancy.

In furtherance of his ultimate dual goal of getting both married and laid, Will requests to be introduced to Emma’s parents.  The Schue undoubtedly knows from experience that the mere asking of this question sometimes has the result of causing marriage-intent women’s panties to immediately fly off their bodies, at warp speed.  But Emma is not one of those women.  In fact, she is SO dead set against this idea, that she lies and claims that her parents are DEAD, despite Will having HEARD her talk to them on the phone the night before.

“They are ghosts.  I have ghost parents,” Emma offers feebly.

Will is crushed.  He’s convinced that Emma doesn’t want him to meet her parents, because she’s ASHAMED OF Will, his freakish hair, odd attachment to underage girls and boys, teacher’s salary, and inability to say, “Have Mercyyyyy,” like that guy from Full House.

Remember him? 

Will turns to Beiste for help with his quandary, but she is too enamored with her MASSIVE BOWL OF CREAMY DISGUSTING PASTA to offer much in the way of advice.

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“We deliver!”

However, in between mouthfuls of mush, she does manage to tell Will that he’s dreamy, and a catch, and should INTRODUCE HIMSELF TO EMMA’S PARENTS . . .

Wait . . . WHAT?!

Oh, no Will . . . no, no no!  Just say NO!  Hasn’t being on this show for three seasons taught you that 9 out of 10 parents on Glee (and on most teen shows, for that matter) are ASSHATS and weirdos?

(Kurt’s dad and stepmom, and Mike’s mom, so far, seem to be the only exceptions to this rule.)

But Will doesn’t listen to my screams at the television.  And why should he?  He’s a MORON! He’s stubborn.

“Moi?”

So, Will invites Emma’s parents to his house on a night when he and Emma are SUPPOSED to be having a Romantic Dinner.  (Really Will?  And you think this is going to HELP you get laid?)  Emma is mortified, and pleads with Will to put an end to these shenanigans, ASAP.  So, Will asks HER, “Are you ashamed of me?”

(She’s not, Will.  BUT I AM!)

Emma then admits what most of us have probably known all along.  Emma isn’t ashamed of Will at all.  She’s ashamed of HER parents.  And here’s why:  One of them was on the show, Happy Days.  They are . . . wait for it . . . GINGER SUPREMACISTS.

Huh?

I know weird right . . . of all the strange deviant things the writers could have come up with for Emma’s parents, THIS is what they choose?  People who hate those who don’t have red hair?  SERIOUSLY?  Oh, and they are emotionally abusive too, which helps add some poignancy to the plotline but not much..

Well, they certainly LOOK evil . . .

All snarkery aside, when Emma’s mom, mocked Emma’s incessant silverware cleaning at the table, by calling her “Freaky Deaky,” and telling the rest of the table that she has a “case of the Cleanies,” you could tell just how much it tore Emma apart.  Kudos to Jayma Mays for adding some real legitimacy and depth, to what could have been a REALLY ridiculous story, with her impressive acting ability.  My heart really went out to Emma in this scene.

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And Will too, creepy as he may be, most of the time won some major points from me for standing up to Emma’s parents, calling them out on their racism, and emotionally abusive treatment of their daughter.  He also, more or less told them that Emma is a wonderful human being, OCD and all.

Later that night, Will finds Emma frantically rubbing her hands together compulsively before bed.  It is clear that Emma’s recent run-in with the parental units has made her OCD that much worse.  Will, of course, feels incredibly guilty (AS HE SHOULD!)  And though not a particularly religious man, he kneels down to pray with Emma, when she admits that doing so gives her comfort at her most out of control moments.

WILL: “Dear Lord, please allow me to have sex again, before I’m old enough to require a little blue pill to help me get it up.” 

And its a sweet, quiet scene . . . until Will starts singing Coldplay’s Fix You, which, though well intentioned, could be interpreted as a bit condescending, not to mention kind of contrary to the notion of Will loving Emma, exactly as she is.

I mean, yeah, Emma’s is clearly uncomfortable with her condition, and it prevents her from HAVING AWESOME SEX making the most of her life.  But still, in light of what just happened, wouldn’t it have been nicer for Will to sing something a bit more comforting?  I know, the Glee cast has already covered Bruno Mars’ “Just the Way You Are.”  But hey, Billy Joel sang a song with that title too!

Also, I never particularly cared for Will’s “falsetto voice.”  The songs he sings on a lower register tend to be a bit less  . . . how do I put this kindly . . . annoying.  (For example, his renditions of “Tell Me Something Good,” and “Bust a Move,” remain some of my favorite Glee singles.  His version of “Kiss” by Prince . . . not so much.)  Other than that . . . um . . .  GREAT SONG!

Meanwhile, back at school .  . .

Divas Never Win (And Winners Never Diva)

“Remember when I used to be the most well-liked girl in Glee club . . . That was nice while it lasted.” 

Mercedes new Bad Influence Boyfriend, Shane, has been Lady Macbeth-ing her to shun all her friends, in pursuit of the role of Maria in West Side Story.  He puffs up Mercedes head with a lot of hot air, by telling her that the Glee club doesn’t appreciate her talents.

I couldn’t help but notice that both Mercedes and Bad Influence Boyfriend are eating tater tots in this scene.  Ahhh . . . memories. 

And that she is more like the part Beyonce played in Dreamgirls, even though she thinks of herself as the part Jennifer Hudson played.  (Umm . . . Shane . . . wait . . . wasn’t Jennifer Hudson the STAR of Dreamgirls?  Didn’t she WIN AN OSCAR FOR IT?  And wasn’t her character supposed to be . . . THE BEST SINGER IN THE GROUP?)

I mean, I get it . . . Effie in dreamgirls was a character whose talent her producers and bandmates didn’t appreciate, due to her weight . . . but still, BAD ANALOGY SHANE!  Oh, and maybe I’m stereotyping here.  But somehow I have difficulty envisioning this big burly football player going all gaga over the musical version of a chick flick . . . Just sayin’

Anywhoo, Mercedes has been a bit under the weather lately.  She is nauseous, weak, fatigued, and sore.  (Thank the lord, Amber Riley confirmed that her character is not preggars, because I REALLY can’t handle another BABY TALE!)  And because of this, she’s been a bit lax in her Glee practice and booty camp attendance.

So, of course, the increasingly screechy Will is quick to call her out on this fact at Booty Camp.  (Why is Will telling off his students becoming a weekly event on this show?)  If Mercedes expects to get support from her fellow Gleeks for her plight, she is sorely mistaken.  The recently returned to New Directions’ Santana (Mr. Schue’s candidate for screeching in Episode 1), is quick to call Mercedes out on her “laziness,” and poor eating habits.

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(Read Santana’s lips in this GIF.   Doesn’t it kind of look like she’s telling Mercedes to f*&k off?)

Tired of being (what she considers) picked on by her friends and supposed mentor, and bolstered by Bad Influence Boyfriend, Mercedes chooses to sing the soulful song “Spotlight” for her Maria audition.

Her performance impresses all of the casting directors (Beiste, Emma and Artie) greatly.  And so Mercedes begins to believe she may have a shot at being the Beyonce character in Dreamgirls, after all!

Torn between casting Rachel or Mercedes in the role of Maria, the casting directors decide to hold . . . you guessed it  .  .  . a diva off to see which “Maria” is best for the part.

SURPRISE!

Feeling like she is destined to end up in the shadow of Rachel’s spotlight, once again, Mercedes acts out in Booty Camp class, when Will berates her for not being able to successfully perform the “Widowmaker” dance move.    She accuses Will of playing favorites with Rachel, at the rest of the club’s expense.

Will is so outraged by this accusation that he offers Mercedes an ultimatum: “Shape up, or you are out of the Glee club for good.”

These harsh words inspire Mercedes to have . . . you guessed it .  . . a Dreamgirls’ Dream Sequence, with Mercedes in the role of Effie, and the rest of the Glee Club members (sans Rachel), as .  . . well . . . slightly meaner and more flashily dressed versions of themselves, I guess.  The Dream Sequence — which is based on the scene in the movie, where Effie is kicked out of the Dreamgirls for her purportedly bad behavior, when, unbeknownst to everyone else in the group, she is only acting that way because she is pregnant — pretty much features the entire cast telling Mercedes off and ditching her ass to the tune of Dreamgirls‘ “It’s All Over.”

On the day of the Diva Off, a nervous Mercedes and Rachel stand at opposite ends of the stage, with their respective boyfriends waiting in the wings to offer them support.  The song they both sing is “Out Here on My Own,” from Fame.  And though the song is not necessarily my favorite, and sounds a bit too much like the recently performed “Spotlight,” for my taste, both contenders do an admirable job performing it, with Mercedes edging out Rachel ever-so-slightly, during the parts of the song that require belting.

“I am quite the belter . . .” 

(In a way, this song was custom-made for Mercedes’ deep sultry voice, and enviably powerful pipes, thereby putting the softer, sweeter-voiced Rachel at a distinct disadvantage.)

Sorry!  That’s just how I feel. 

Rachel comes out of the audition,  certain that she has lost the role to Mercedes.  Fearing that not having the lead in the school play will make getting into that fancy New York performing arts school she covets, near impossible, Rachel impulsively vies for another after school activity to put on her resume . . . coincidentally . . . or  not-so-coincidentally . . . it’s the same after-school activity for which Kurt is campaigning (who has recently graciously accepted his boyfriend’s decision to try out for the lead in the play as well, and is even surprisingly supportive of his decision).

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“Don’t worry.  I promise it’s not a gun.” 

Kurt is crushed that his bestie would betray him in this way Not to mention surprised.  I mean, don’t you have to be POPULAR to win class president.  Most of the school HATES Rachel!.   And he is not exactly shy about telling her exactly how she feels, ” —-”  Even Finn, who, himself is no stranger to selfish behavior, seems appalled by Rachel’s lack of sensitivity.   He doesn’t even know if he’s going to vote for her!  (And now she’s probably only going to get one vote . . . her own.)

Oops!

When it comes time to choose who gets to play Maria, the show’s casting directors (lamely) decide to cast BOTH women in the role, each person gets the part for a week.  Though frustrating from a plot perspective, it seems like a fair deal for both girls, and Rachel, for her part, accepts the offer fairly readily.   But NOT MERCEDES!  Recognizing that she probably had the better audition (a point about which Rachel doesn’t necessarily disagree), Mercedes becomes convinced that the directors cast both girls, in order to protect Rachel’s feelings.

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And so she THROWS A TEMPER TANTRUM, and quits the show ALTOGETHER .  . .

. . . thereby giving Rachel the part by default.

Talk about shooting yourself in the foot!  Or maybe not . . . toward the end of the episode, Mercedes approaches the director of the virtually singer-less (save the tone deaf, Sugar Motta) SECOND school Glee club, Shelby Corcoran, of being admitted into HER club, where, by default she will undoubtedly become it’s version of Rachel Berry.

The power-hungry Rachel then decides to continue to run for class president ANYWAY, despite the fact that she now has FULL reigns to the lead in the School Play, and a solid chance of getting into the ollege of her dreams, while her “friend” Kurt is still struggling to find HIS ticket to admission.  (Yeah . . . she’s kind of a b*tch . . .)

“Ooh!  You’re so BAD!” 

And the part goes to . . .

In the final moments of the episode, we FINALLY get to see who got the parts in the West Side Story  musical.   And though, the results are not all that surprising (After all, for the most part, the only people we saw rehearse all got the parts for which they rehearsed), it was still uplifting to see the looks on those Gleeks faces when they learned their school play dreams had come true . . .

I loved seeing Kurt sweetly hug Blaine, upon seeing that he was rewarded the lead role of Tony.  (Kurt ended up landing the part of Officer Krupke . . .  not bad!)

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And Santana’s adorable little understated (but obviously thrilled) smile, upon seeing that she got the part of Anita, was countered with a HUGE EMBRACE by an ecstatic Brittany.  (Have I mentioned yet today how much I ADORE these two.)

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Mike Chang’s winning the role of Riff brought tears to my eyes for about the third time, during the hour.

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And Rachel’s win of the part of Maria, though bittersweet, was not entirely unexpected, or unwanted.

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(Remember when Blaine and Rachel drunk kissed last season, during the “Blame it On the Alcohol,” episode?  Oh yeah!  We are going to get some more of that!)

So, that was Glee, in a nutshell.  I must say, I share many Gleeks admiration for this touching, and well-acted episode, which I feel truly harkened back to the show’s Season 1, heydey.  Mercedes, Will, and Rachel kind of pissed me off, though . . .

“Et tu Recapper?”

Tune in next MONTH, when Quinn makes a play for Baby Beth, Puck makes a play for Shelby . . .

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 . . . and Mercedes and Santana shoot for ALTERNA-GLEE CLUB super-stardom.  You can check out the trailer for the next episode, which is entitled “Pot O’Gold,” here:

So, my Gleekies, what did you think of “Asian F?”  Was it all you hoped for in a Glee episode and more?  Or did you find it to be a bit overhyped?  Are you as much in love with Mike Chang  (and his abs) as I am?  Do you think Mercedes is a bigger diva than Rachel?  And, perhaps least importantly, which Glee kid do you think Mr. Schue is going to freak out on in Episode 4?

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Feel free to sound off in the comment section below.  And please,  take your time . . . we have a loooong hiatus ahead of us . . .

[www.juliekushner.com] [Fangirls Forever]

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May 15, 2010 · 12:44 am

They’re Bringing Sexy Back! YEAH! – A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Shiny Happy People”

These are two ACTUAL screencaps.   Both were taken from the first FIVE MINUTES of Thursday night’s Grey’s Anatomy.  You’re welcome.

After last week’s cringe-tastic, surgery heavy, UGLY episode . . . thanks to which, I will never view this image in the same way EVER again . . .

. . . it was really nice to see Grey’s getting back to it’s roots this week — You know, surgery-lite;  mushy-gushy relationship stuff / shirtless men HEAVY.  I don’t know about you, but I tend to prefer my Grey’s simple and super girly.  And a girly Grey’s was exactly what I got!

“Give me an E – S -T -R- O -G -E-N!  What’s that spell?”

Couples really took center stage during this episode of Grey’s.  Heck, even this week’s medical mysteries featured “couples” of some sort.  Well . . . except for ONE medical mystery . . .

WOAH!  This Disney Chick can ACT . . .  so well that I can almost forgive her for that Princess Protection Program movie . . .

 . . . ALMOST.

So, what are we waiting for?  Let’s get on with this girly boink-fest!

We’re Having a Party . . . Everybody’s Slutty!

The episode began with a PARTY at the Mer and Der House!  It was a party to celebrate McDreamy!

For what reason, I am not entirely sure . . . for being Chief, I guess.  The only problem was . . . it wasn’t a very good fiesta.  Karev, perhaps, said it best when he remarked, “This party blows.”

For one thing, everyone looked all stuffy and uncomfortable, in their suits and “business casual” dresswear, i.e. dowdy dresses, that don’t show anything above the knee.  Who the heck has house parties like this?  Your grandpa, that’s who!  And that’s when it suddenly occurred to me.  Our Greysies are getting OLD!

It’s TRUE!  Meredith proved it, when she said, “At my parties, we drank tequila and danced on tables!”  

And that was true . .  FIVE SEASONS AGO . . .

Remember the Boozy Slutty Dysfunctional Meredith of Season 1?  Good times!

But it’s not true now!  The one good thing about the party, was that it offered us this lovely picture, of our suave and suited Grey’s men, sipping scotch and poring over floor plans . . .

How very Ocean’s 11 of them!  Not this Ocean’s 11, mind you . . .

 . . . more like this one . . .

See what I mean . . . about the OLD?

Anyway, things improved quickly, when we LEFT the party and were delivered NOT ONE, BUT TWO, shirtless prelude-to sex scenes . . .  The first one was between Bailey and her latelyMIA Gas Man . . .

Remember him?  If you didn’t before, I bet you won’t forget him NOW!

The second scene, not-so-surprisingly, featured Mark “I-Get-More-Play-Than-A Slot-Machine-In-Vegas” Sloan.

What was surprising, was who he was with.  It wasn’t his current girlfriend, Teddy, nor his ex-girlfriend, Lexie.  Nor was he with his “friends with benefits” gal pal, the recently single, Callie.  Nope, Sloan was with . . .

 . . . that annoying pixie-haired Mercy Wester chick, who hasn’t been around for half the season? 

Ummm . . . yeah, so McSteamy is coming out of the shower all steamy, after what was probably a fairly tepid round of lovemaking with Slutty but Boring Doc Reed, when, who walks in and catches them post-coitus? 

You guessed it, his current girlfriend TEDDY!  To Sloan’s credit, he doesn’t do that thing you see in romantic comedies, where the guy gets caught in the act of cheating, and he starts jumping around like a jack rabbit, sputtering, “It’s NOT what you think!”  (When it always is exactly THAT!) 

Instead, he INVITES TEDDY TO JOIN THEM!

Way to go McSteamy!  You may be a mental midget when it comes to the ways of women, but you sure are COOL!

Unfortunately, the producers cut away from the scene, before we can find out if Teddy accepts the proposition, but I’m thinking . . . NOT!  Truth be told, Teddy is only interested in one threesome, and one threesome only .  . . this one.

News Flash Cristina Yang, Owen is Just Not That Into You . . .

Hey, Yang!  Wanna join my book club?  We’re reading one that you will LOVE!

Speaking of the World’s Most Unhappy Threesome Ever, while Teddy is being cheated on by Mark, Owen is impulsively asking a drunk Cristina to move in with him, “because my therapist said it was a good idea.”  Now if that’s not a ringing endorsement for romance, folks, I don’t know what is! 

Cristina instantly AGREES to this lame proposition, and I start to wonder whether the majority of her brain cells are housed in her scrubs.  After all, it seems like such an uncharacteristically DUMB move on the part of a woman who, normally, is one of the most intelligent characters on this show.  Then again, it wouldn’t be the first time that a man made Cristina do less than brilliant things . . .

EEEVILL!

 Meredith overhears this exchange, and is again faced with the moral crisis she dealt with last week.  You see, Meredith is convinced that Owen’s failure to follow Cristina’s wishes, and help Teddy keep her job, was incontrovertible evidence that Owen is secretly in love with Teddy.

“I LOVE YOU . . . so I tried to get you fired.  My therapist said it was a good idea . . .”

 So, on one hand, she owes it to her BFF Cristina to let her know that her boyfriend is a poopy head .  . .

.  . . and, like all poopy, deserves to be unceremoniously dumped.  On the other hand, the information she learned about Owen, came from Derek, and the confidentiality requirements associated with Post-It Note Marriages, are SERIOUS!

Nothing says loving like Sticky Paper, purchased in a 150-note multicolored pack (2 for $3.00!) at CVS . . .

So, Meredith decides to play King Solomon and split the baby . . .

 . . . instead of outright telling Cristina about her poopy head boyfriend, she drops annoyingly coy hints of his emotional infidelity, throughout the episode.  Initially, Cristina, who has always been a “shoot the messenger” type gal, gets pissed at Meredith, and denies that such infidelity exists.  However, with the seeds of doubt successfully planted, and love triangles seeming to haunt her wherever she goes, Christina starts to question the nature of her relationship with Owen. 

Ultimately, in a really great scene, Meredith confronts Owen about his feelings for Teddy.  Meredith explains to Owen, that if he is a “good guy,” he will come clean to Cristina about his throwing Teddy under the bus, when her job was on the line, and then lying about it.  In true Grey’s fashion, Teddy, of course, overhears all of this.  But to her credit, no trace of a sh&t-eating grin can be found on her face, upon hearing the good news.

Nor does she break into song, belting out, “You really LIKE me!  You think I’m SEXY!  You want to DATE me!”

Color me impressed.  Ultimately, Owen confesses his lie to Cristina.  And when she outright asks him whether he is in love with Teddy, he says, articulately, “I don’t know.”  (Perhaps he should get a new therapist.  Because, clearly, the one he has now is not doing a good job, writing his “lines” for him.)

At the end of the episode, in a scene highly reminiscent of early Grey’s, a torn-up Cristina crawls into bed with Meredith and admits that she and Owen are no longer moving in together.  Meredith changes the subject, but does so in a sweet way, by showing Cristina the plans for her and Derek’s house in the woods, where there is a separate room for Cristina to crash whenever she find herself in need of a hug . . .

Awww!

Relationships are like ducks . . .

Things were going significantly better for new couple, Alex and Lexie, this week, at least, on the surface.  After expending WAY too much mental energy on the recent sexual rendezvous of her ex- Sloan, especially, for a person who claims to be “over him,” Lexie decides it might be a good idea to issue Alex an ultimatum on the state of their sort-of relationship.  And, while normally, such an ultimatum, would have sent Alex running for the hills . . .

Running shirtless .  . . (Oh come on, as if a picture like that EVER needs a proper recap tie-in to be included!)

 . . . New and Improved Alex responds by making out with Lexie in public AGAIN.  Once they are done swapping spit with one another, he tells her.  “Yeah, we are a thing.  Whatever.”  (OK, I’m thinking that Owen’s inarticulate therapist is writing Alex’s lines too.  How about you?)

Later, when Meredith questions Alex about the nature of his relationship with Lexie, he explains that he is acting like . . . a duck.

Because ducks are sexy . . . (Awesome pic “borrowed” from marginalnotes btw)

Although the metaphor was, admittedly, a bit unclear, I think Alex was referring to the whole, “If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and acts like a duck, it’s probably a duck” thing.  In other words, act like you are in a healthy relationship, and soon you will actually find yourself in one.  Ummm . . . yeah, I’m not so sure about that, Alex . . .

And apparently, Lexie isn’t so sure either.  When Mark professes his love to her, at the end of the episode, Lexie doesn’t immediately jump his bones, but she doesn’t put up much of a fight either.  “I have a boyfriend,” says Lexie, half-heartedly.

“But I’m telling you that you could have a husband,” replies Most-Articulate-Male-of-this-Episode, Mark (maybe more like a Dad than a husband, but, like Alex says, “Whatever”).

It’s definitely a May – December Romance.  But in terms of “couple names,” “Sexie” TOTALLY kicks “Lalex”‘s butt!

So they’ve got that going for them, at least.

The Medical Stuff

You know what was really interesting about this week’s three “medical mysteries?”  They all got SOLVED!

 . . . and NOBODY DIED!

 . . . and that burn victim chick got her hair back!

It was the happiest hospital day EVER at Seattle Grace!  First, we got to meet an awesome star from Happy Days!

“What?  You were expecting, The Fonz?”

It’s Mommy Marion Ross!  She still looks pretty good!  And, apparently, I wasn’t the only one who thought so!  In a series of events that ONLY happens on TV, Marion Ross’s character, Betty, is in the hospital, getting  .  . . something done . . . not sure what . . . when she runs into Cute Old Dude Henry, her long lost love, who she hasn’t seen in 50-years. 

 They are eachother’s “one that got a way.”  Now, with no more obstacles standing between them (because all of those obstacles, unfortunately, are now DEAD), Betty and Henry decide to move in together (once they get out of the hospital, of course), and give their relationship a go.  I know, it sounds kind of lame, but it was actually really sweet.  And Cute Old Dude Henry had a voice that sounded like it narrated fairy tales for a living, so that made it even sweeter . . .

We also got to meet a burn victim in the hospital, who was supposed to get a hair regrafting (she had lost most of it in a car explosion), when she learns that she has an infection on her arm, and needs her fingers amputated.  At first, the doctors tell her that her infection will prevent her from getting the hair regrafting operation.  But then, they decide, RISKS be damned, HAIR IS IMPORTANT! 

And so they do the grafting during the hand amputation.  Of course, had Burn Victim Girl appeared in ANY OTHER episode, aside from this one, this would have been a perfect opportunity for the writers to senselessly kill her off, and manipulate us fans into tears. ( And we know how Grey’s LOVES the tears!)  However, Burn Victim Girl was lucky, because she got to star in an episode entitled “Shiny HAPPY People.”  And because HAPPY people tend to be, more often than not, ALIVE, she got to live too!

Finally, in what was the best “medical mystery” of the episode, Demi Lovato . . .

HEY!  What did I say about referring to that film again?

Sorry . . . Demi Lovato . . .

 . . . enters the hospital as a teen diagnosed with schizophrenia, who was admitted to the hospital after, literally, trying to claw her eyes out!  Everyone at the hospital thinks she’s a TOTAL nutjob, except this guy . . .

Sigh!

Who, instead, assumes she must have some extremely rare disease.  (After all, those have been conveniently traveling around Grey’s in search of likeable guest stars patients since Season 1).  Alex runs some initial tests on the teen, and comes up empty handed.  He then confronts his girlfriend with the photographic memory, Lexie-pedia, with his patient’s symptoms.  Intially, she can’t remember where, in the many medical books she has memorized, she saw the disease.  “Lexie-pedia is FROZEN!”  Alex complains.  (I LOVE HIM!)

But then Lexie remembers that the disease can be found in some obscure medical journal from 2004 with a light green cover.  In the next scene, we watch as Alex outfits the teen in this weird scary head gear, that makes her look like Johnny Five from those old Short Circuit films . . .

As if, on cue, Demi’s eyes go all buggy, and she freaks out.  So, of course, this was all Karev needed to diagnose her as having a small hole in her inner ear, that allowed her to hear everything that was going on inside her body.  YUCK!  Apparently, all this rare disease takes to cure, is a brief operation where the hole is plugged up.  After the operation, we know that Demi is sane again, because she is wearing a bandage around her head that looks like a really stylish headband . . .

Dear Demi,

Now that your “sane,” I’d really like my headband back.

XOXO

Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl

In Other News . . .

 . . . Callie and Arizona shared an impromptu sexy makeout session in the elevator . . .

Ooh, la, la!

But accomplished precisely NOTHING in terms of their relationship . . .

Boo, la, la 😦

Oh, and the Gas Man . . .

This pic NEVER gets old . . .

 . . . told Bailey . . .

 . . . that even though he sometimes flirts with random nurses, he saves all the GOOD flirting for her . . .

Shondra Rhimes, PLEASE don’t make us fall in love with the Gas Man, if you plan to rip him away from us next season, in order to use him on your new pilot!  (Although, I think it might be too late . . . because I’m in love already).

So, there you have it, “Shiny Happy People,” in a nutshell.  This was the LAST new episode of Grey’s before the show airs it’s purportedly “game-changing” two-hour season finale (with the hours entitled “Sanctuary” and “Death and all of His Friends,” respectively) next week.  Media sites have teased that the final two episodes of Season 6, will feature nothing less than a SHOOTING and a fairly major character death.  Here’s a sneak peak at the promo . . .

Thanks for the video, adam9316!

I’ll admit it.  I’m afraid . . . very afraid!  See you next week!

 

 

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